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1
00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:07,217
Gentlemen, your morning mail,
2
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,152
Interdepartmental chazerai,
3
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,553
And the gift of life.
4
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:12,122
What is it?
5
00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:13,656
The bulletproof vests
Have finally arrived.
6
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,958
Oh, good.
7
00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:17,060
Weren't those ordered
About two years ago?
8
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:18,450
So they're a little early.
9
00:00:21,388 --> 00:00:22,966
I don't want to wear mine.
10
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:25,135
Come on, you haven't
Even tried it on yet.
11
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:28,739
Ah. For work or play.
12
00:00:28,763 --> 00:00:30,106
Well, I will admit
13
00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:32,776
They're not up to your
Normal sartorial standards,
14
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:36,146
But, uh... It could
Save your life.
15
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,247
Well...
16
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:40,216
Maybe I could just walk
Behind someone else
17
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,285
Who's wearing one.
18
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:45,621
Thing is, barn, I've
Worn them before.
19
00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:48,624
And they're heavy.
And they're... They're...
20
00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:50,360
You can't move around in them.
21
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,628
You can only sweat like a pig.
22
00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:54,164
Sergeant, they've
Been redesigned.
23
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:56,632
The vests have been
Downsized for '81.
24
00:00:56,656 --> 00:00:58,034
Yeah?
25
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,469
Should I put it on, sir?
26
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,893
Yeah, go ahead.
27
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:05,208
The, uh...
28
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:10,680
The attractive velcro
Straps fasten easily...
29
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:15,152
Creating a secure
Yet comfortable fit,
30
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:18,654
Allowing for maximum
Freedom of movement
31
00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:21,124
Yet complete
Personal protection,
32
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:24,260
Whether in the office,
In the car, or on the go,
33
00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:26,784
Making that really
Important collar.
34
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,922
It was in the brochure.
35
00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:34,504
So do we have to wear them?
36
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,339
No, you don't have to wear them.
37
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,774
They're not mandatory.
38
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:40,443
But they do make
Very good sense.
39
00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:43,513
Why don't you pass
Out the rest of them?
40
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:44,947
- that's it, sir.
- what?
41
00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:47,283
All the rest of the
Vests haven't arrived yet.
42
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:50,086
So for the time being you're
Going to have to share this one.
43
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,822
Oh, great.
44
00:01:51,846 --> 00:01:53,123
Got it.
45
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:55,959
Uh, barn, that was an
Office building over on 6th.
46
00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,660
They got a guy with a gun.
47
00:01:57,684 --> 00:02:00,563
All right, you and wojo. I'll
Call dispatch for a backup.
48
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:01,731
Right.
49
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,533
So you guys want to use this?
50
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,068
- nah.
- nah.
51
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:07,172
- oh, yeah, all right.
- well, all right.
52
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:12,597
Well, we'll work
It out in the car.
53
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:28,351
- sir.
- hmm?
54
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,153
I managed a slight reallocation.
55
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:31,955
Oh, good.
56
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:34,157
Four detectives, four vests.
57
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:35,424
Good work, levitt.
58
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,727
And you still had enough
To go around downstairs.
59
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,631
Uh, don't worry about that, sir.
60
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,999
Does everyone
Downstairs have a vest?
61
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,802
You're detectives. You
Deserve the first crack at living.
62
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,537
Levitt, how many vests
Have you got downstairs?
63
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:49,839
Five vests.
64
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,175
- for 36 cops?
- that's okay, sir.
65
00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:54,244
We're going to rotate
Them among the married men.
66
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,546
With children.
67
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,949
Look, uh, I... I don't
Really need one.
68
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,150
Take them downstairs.
69
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,452
Sir, you're the captain.
70
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:03,586
You have to set an example.
71
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,388
I'm aware of that, but I...
72
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,390
I hardly go out
On calls anymore.
73
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:10,926
That's true. But you do go
Out for your paper every day,
74
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:12,195
And there's a lot of weirdos
75
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:13,463
That hang out at
Those newsstands.
76
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,420
- levitt...
- I'd feel better.
77
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,437
All right, come on
Inside, mr. Thompson.
78
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,172
Easy for you to say.
79
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,974
The sweat and toil
Of your imagination
80
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,878
Isn't being raped and plundered.
81
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:29,279
- barn.
- mm-hmm.
82
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,614
This is arthur thompson...
83
00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:34,016
Trespassing and destruction
Of private property.
84
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,751
Hey, that looks nice.
85
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,587
Barn, could we get
On with this, please?
86
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:38,855
Excuse me.
87
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:42,558
We picked him up in an
Office over on 6th, barn.
88
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:44,794
It was a company
Called inventrex.
89
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,062
A bunch of thieves.
90
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:48,631
He was threatening the
Receptionist with this .22.
91
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:51,166
I tried calling, but no
One was ever in for me.
92
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,703
They're too busy
Stealing my inspiration.
93
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:55,170
Inspiration?
94
00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:57,139
Mr. Thompson is an inventor.
95
00:04:57,163 --> 00:05:02,112
I have over 115
Patents... Pending.
96
00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:05,281
See, apparently, people
Take their ideas to inventrex,
97
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,450
And then inventrex
Charges them a fee
98
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,485
To market and develop it.
99
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,921
Mr. Thompson says
They're trying to cheat him.
100
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,789
It's nothing new.
101
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,925
Remember the guy who
Invented that screwdriver?
102
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,860
Department store gave
Him a couple of bucks,
103
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:20,163
Then they made a
Fortune for themselves.
104
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,632
That's not gonna happen to me.
105
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,468
I take it that's,
Uh... His invention.
106
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,236
Oh, the contents of this bag
107
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:29,439
Will change the lives
Of millions of people.
108
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:30,463
What is it?
109
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:32,898
Show him.
110
00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:43,620
This will be one of the
Greatest boons to mankind
111
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,422
Since penicillin.
112
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,789
What is it?
113
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,992
Tan-alert.
114
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,559
Right.
115
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,328
You take it with you
When you got to the beach
116
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,596
Or when you lay out on the roof.
117
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:54,998
You see...
118
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:58,467
You attach these
Sensors to your forehead,
119
00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:01,704
Your stomach, your legs,
And other exposed areas.
120
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:04,941
Then you set this dial
For skin tolerance.
121
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,577
Then, even if you fall asleep,
122
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:11,903
The warning box buzzes when
You're in danger of sunburning.
123
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,354
I know what's going
Through everybody's mind...
124
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,623
"Why didn't I think of that?"
125
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,814
I could kick myself.
126
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,630
Harris, you want to take
Care of mr. Thompson?
127
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,499
Oh, thank you, barney.
128
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:32,156
Mr. Thompson, you want to
Take a seat over here, please?
129
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,640
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
130
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:40,176
- inspector.
- inspector.
131
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,712
Bang bang, you're dead, har.
132
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,682
Didn't have your vest on.
133
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,784
Oh. That'll teach me.
134
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:50,920
Yeah. No, you should really
Wear it all the time, har.
135
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,789
You never know when some lunatic
136
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,490
Might come right
Through that door.
137
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:57,259
Not unless you call first.
138
00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:59,829
What brings you down, inspector?
139
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:02,364
Huh? Oh, hi, barney.
140
00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:03,833
Oh, yeah.
141
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:07,403
Well, I see the blue knights
Got their suits of armor, huh?
142
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,706
Oh, yeah, they were
Delivered today.
143
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:12,675
Yeah, the department's
Really pushing them, barn.
144
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:14,844
Hopefully, they'll
Save some lives.
145
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,579
Oh, yeah, sure.
146
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:20,015
I remember a couple of years
Back, a cop over in queens.
147
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:22,418
He was wearing a vest.
148
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,321
He walks in on a 10-30
In progress, you know?
149
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:26,822
So the guy lets him have it...
150
00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:30,460
Six shots, point-blank
Range, right in the chest.
151
00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:32,629
Never even left a bruise.
152
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:33,963
- really?
- yeah.
153
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,298
But then the thug
Takes the empty gun,
154
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:39,301
He throws it at him, hits
Him right in the temple.
155
00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,192
Dropped dead on the spot.
156
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,641
Thank you for sharing
That with us, inspector.
157
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,809
Ah, forget it, barn. It
Was a freak accident.
158
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,813
One in a million, you know?
Could happen to anybody.
159
00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:52,615
But the big brass downtown
Would like you fellas
160
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,485
To wear your vests at all times.
161
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:59,522
Personally, I think if a
Bullet's got your name on it,
162
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:03,660
It's gonna find you, no
Matter what you're wearing.
163
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:07,396
So what brings you
Down, inspector, hmm?
164
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,831
Oh. Oh, yeah.
165
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:12,635
I come down to get a little
Info on you guys for my files.
166
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:13,903
Wojo: what for?
167
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:17,707
Oh, you know, for the
Tv, the media, newspapers.
168
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:20,677
In case one of you should
Do anything heroic, you know,
169
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,912
Like pull a kid out
Of a burning building
170
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,648
Or maybe rescue a hostage,
171
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:28,885
The public's gonna want to
Know a little more about you.
172
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,152
I see.
173
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,354
And if it comes to the worst,
174
00:08:32,378 --> 00:08:34,623
We're gonna want to
Know about you, too.
175
00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:37,494
How many you left behind.
176
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,962
The address for
The memorial fund.
177
00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:42,265
Stuff like that, barn.
178
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:45,401
I'm sure we'll all be
Thrilled to cooperate.
179
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:46,502
Good. Thanks, barn.
180
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,604
I thought we'd
Go alphabetically.
181
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:51,707
Uh... Arthur.
182
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,478
We'll start off
With you, huh, d.D.?
183
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:56,980
Why don't you have
A seat, inspector?
184
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:59,649
Thank you.
185
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,917
This ought to work.
186
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,253
Pencil.
187
00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:05,354
I thought we'd
Kick it off, d.D.,
188
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:09,758
By finding out a little
About your childhood.
189
00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:13,496
It was the best of times,
It was the worst of times.
190
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,199
Hey, hold it, hold
It. Not so fast.
191
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:19,935
Best... Best of times...
192
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:21,270
And by my late teens,
193
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,372
The writings of
Schopenhauer and kant
194
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:26,509
Began to dominate my
Epistemological outlook,
195
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,310
Almost to the point of excluding
196
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:30,446
The consideration of
Any other viewpoint,
197
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:34,205
With the exception of
Certain aphorisms of nietzsche.
198
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:39,989
I asked you if you had any pets.
199
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,490
Ant farm.
200
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:42,525
Good.
201
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,827
Thank you for your trouble.
202
00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:47,496
Got enough here for a novel.
203
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,120
Anytime, inspector.
204
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,472
Okay, I think I'm
Ready for you now.
205
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,107
Uh, right, inspector.
206
00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:01,410
Uh, here you go. I think
This should cover it.
207
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,679
What is it?
208
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,113
It's my dewar's profile.
209
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:07,038
- no kidding.
- yeah.
210
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:11,643
"Last book read... Mine."
211
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,991
I checked out
Thompson for priors.
212
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:17,993
- and?
- he's clean.
213
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:19,162
Okay.
214
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:22,731
Then I, uh, checked
Out this inventrex.
215
00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:26,001
- mm-hmm.
- the fee that they
Charged thompson
216
00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:28,337
Is $2,100.
217
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,005
To develop tan-alert?
218
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:32,808
Yeah. And in the last two years,
219
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:35,500
They've had a couple of
Dozen complaints against them.
220
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,582
Talk to anyone from the company?
221
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:41,284
No, but the guy
That runs the joint
222
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:44,109
Is coming down here to press
Charges against thompson.
223
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:47,545
Let me know when he gets here.
224
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:54,538
Come on, tell the
Truth. What do you think?
225
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:59,035
Well, there's definitely
A feeling of security.
226
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,170
Uh-huh.
227
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,005
Then again, it's a
Constant reminder
228
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:04,869
Of what it's there to prevent.
229
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:09,812
What scares me is that
A little thing like this
230
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:12,081
Can be the difference
Between living and dying.
231
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,449
Well, I've been
Thinking about it,
232
00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:15,985
And you know what
Occurred to me?
233
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,319
What?
234
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:20,522
The contract to make them
Went to the lowest bidder.
235
00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:22,391
That's very profound.
236
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:24,860
Got a call from dispatch.
237
00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:26,395
Somebody's barricaded
In an apartment
238
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:27,563
With a couple of rifles.
239
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,231
Wojo, break out some weapons.
240
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:31,233
And I want to see
Everyone in their vests.
241
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:33,803
I'll call the cleaners.
242
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,004
Good.
243
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,206
Barn, they've cordoned
Off the streets,
244
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,008
And kogan is sending
In some squad cars.
245
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,076
Let me know as soon as
They set up a command post.
246
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:43,212
Right. Hey, barn, you sure
You don't want to come along?
247
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,415
You're all dressed for it.
248
00:11:45,439 --> 00:11:46,938
Just kidding.
249
00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:54,123
Okay, wojo, you're in the box.
250
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,158
Uh, inspector, I got a call.
251
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:57,359
Oh, come on.
252
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,128
Can't you give me a
Little something now?
253
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:02,264
I mean, in case
Something happens.
254
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:04,255
I got to break out some weapons.
255
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,727
He loved guns.
256
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,112
Look, ma'am...
257
00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:20,082
I'm sorry you had to evacuate
Your place of business,
258
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:21,617
But I'm sure you can understand
259
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,574
That it was for your own safety.
260
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:28,391
I don't like putting 16
Girls out of work, either,
261
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:31,360
But hopefully the situation
Will clear up shortly
262
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,304
And you'll all be
Able to go back.
263
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,954
I appreciate your
Patience, madam.
264
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,659
No, just a lucky guess.
265
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:46,742
Any news from the front, barn?
266
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,378
Still a standoff.
267
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:50,913
I could clean out my wallet.
268
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,381
That would kill a couple hours.
269
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,918
Hey, I'm sorry this has
Hung you up, inspector.
270
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,487
Oh, come on, barney. Forget it.
271
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,689
Some crazy freak with a rifle...
272
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:03,626
What does he care about
People who got to make deadlines?
273
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:06,462
He probably just wants to
Waste a couple of cops, you know,
274
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:07,696
To get his name in the paper.
275
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,565
You know the story, barney.
276
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:12,167
"I heard voices."
277
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:13,902
So then they put
Him in the fruit bin.
278
00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:17,706
He's out in a couple of months
And writes a best-seller.
279
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,309
But as long as we
Got some time, barney,
280
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,712
I could pick up a little
More info on you, huh?
281
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:24,780
Here.
282
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,215
Of course, there's not too much
283
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:28,817
I don't already
Know about you, barn.
284
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:33,456
Born bernard miller,
24 years on the nypd.
285
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,626
Married. Lovely wife elizabeth.
286
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:40,530
Father of two fine
Children, david and lisa.
287
00:13:40,554 --> 00:13:42,097
That's rachael.
288
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:44,566
Rachael. Of course, barney.
289
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:46,257
Rachael.
290
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,106
Yeah, but I kind of enjoy
It, you know, barney...
291
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:52,408
Chatting with all the cops,
292
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:55,911
Finding out about their
Families and their backgrounds,
293
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:59,181
All the interesting
Things they've done.
294
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:01,250
Course, it makes my life story
295
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,752
Sound like something
The cat dragged in.
296
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,254
Oh, come on, inspector.
297
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:06,655
Ah, but I suppose, barney,
298
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:10,126
There's hundreds of
People whose obituaries
299
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:14,030
Could be written on the back
Of a chewing-gum wrapper.
300
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:18,500
Oh, come on. You've
Had a long and full life.
301
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:21,003
Full?
302
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,804
No kids, no wife.
303
00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:25,441
It's very full.
304
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:29,345
You had a distinguished
Career. You've got many friends.
305
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:33,349
Oh, no. No friends, barney.
306
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:37,686
Acquaintances, maybe.
Co-workers, yeah.
307
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:41,323
People who suffer the
Company of the old inspector
308
00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:42,991
Because he's an old inspector.
309
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:44,993
That's silly.
310
00:14:45,017 --> 00:14:47,729
I know it's hard for you
To understand, barney.
311
00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:50,566
Your life's been so marvelous.
312
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,334
Well, I'd hardly go that far.
313
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:53,970
You don't have to humor me.
314
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,471
I'm not, believe me.
315
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:59,108
I'm not complaining, but my
Life has hardly been marvelous.
316
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:02,844
Believe me, I've had
My share of problems.
317
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:07,838
Financial setbacks...
Marital difficulties.
318
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,508
That's true.
319
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,389
Problems with the kids...
320
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,192
Always problems with the kids.
321
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:19,783
And my career hasn't exactly
Been the sky rocket to the top.
322
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:25,556
Turned down for deputy
Inspector three times.
323
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,762
24 years on the force...
324
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:35,044
And nothing's any better
Than the day I started.
325
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,568
Come on, cheer up, barney.
326
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:41,784
Sir, a mr. Norvis from
Inventrex is here to see you.
327
00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,519
Excuse me, inspector.
328
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:44,853
Sure.
329
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:47,022
Mr. Thompson, believe me.
330
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,458
Your product is still in
The development stage.
331
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,159
And where will it be
Tomorrow, bloomingdale's...
332
00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:52,995
Only called "Beach buzzer"?
333
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,396
I'm captain miller.
334
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:55,664
John norvis, inventrex, inc.
335
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,099
I'm here to sign that complaint.
336
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,868
I must say, captain, that
Mr. Thompson's actions
337
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:01,670
Are totally inexplicable to me.
338
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,840
Well, he seems to feel you've
Been trying to defraud him.
339
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,374
That's ridiculous.
340
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:08,510
So why won't you
Answer my calls?
341
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:10,746
Because I have
Nothing to say to you.
342
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:13,949
Mr. Thompson's device is
Still being examined and tested
343
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,319
By our trained
Examiners and testers.
344
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:19,522
I'm sure you're
Aware, mr. Norvis,
345
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,189
That there have been
Many other complaints
346
00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:22,625
Against your company.
347
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,528
So I'm not the first
Inventor you've ripped off.
348
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,696
Captain, I assure you...
349
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:32,067
Inventrex is not in the practice
Of stealing people's ideas.
350
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:35,504
I'm not talking about ideas.
I'm talking about money.
351
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:36,972
Oh.
352
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,441
It is the policy of inventrex
To accept for consideration
353
00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:41,877
Only those items we believe
Have a genuine potential.
354
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:45,380
But at the same time, we
Cannot guarantee success.
355
00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:46,581
The fee we charge...
356
00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:49,451
$2,100 in mr. Thompson's case.
357
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:52,621
Yes, but that's simply to
Cover our in-house costs...
358
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:55,390
Blueprints, mockups,
Analysis and surveys
359
00:16:55,414 --> 00:16:57,654
To determine the potential
Market for the product.
360
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:02,231
And what would you say
361
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:06,969
Is the potential
Market for tan-alert?
362
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:09,305
It's wide open.
363
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:13,008
I mean, mr. Thompson's
Device is certainly something
364
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,311
That would be
Purchased by anyone
365
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,713
Who's been out in
The sun too long.
366
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:18,936
Right!
367
00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:22,918
Just out of
Curiosity, mr. Norvis,
368
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:25,755
What other inventions
Have you brought to market?
369
00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:28,690
Oh, we have many,
Many in development.
370
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,425
In development?
371
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,494
These things don't
Blossom overnight, captain.
372
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:33,896
It's a lengthy process.
373
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:38,300
We have feasibility
Studies, patent searches.
374
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:41,125
Silly putty took six years.
375
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,707
What you're actually
Saying, mr. Norvis,
376
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,877
Is that you've never
Actually marketed anything.
377
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:52,281
But we're very close
On a number of products.
378
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:55,250
Our combination mango
Carver and potato juicer
379
00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:57,308
Should be on the
Shelves any day now.
380
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:01,991
You know, there are
Those who might say
381
00:18:02,015 --> 00:18:03,826
That you're really
In the business
382
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:07,563
Of exploiting people's
Delusions to make a quick buck.
383
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,533
- I don't view it
In that light, captain.
- come on.
384
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,468
You know and I know
That nobody wants,
385
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,002
Nobody needs, nobody's gonna buy
386
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:17,539
A combination mango
Carver and potato juicer
387
00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:20,676
Any more than a cockamamie
Item like tan-alert.
388
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:21,766
Huh?
389
00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:28,717
I don't know that
That's true, captain.
390
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:32,288
However, it's possible
We may have misjudged
391
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,690
The current market for
Mr. Thompson's device.
392
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:38,227
And as we are an honest and
Conscientious organization,
393
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,796
Which doesn't want any trouble,
394
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,788
We'd be happy to
Forget the entire matter.
395
00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:47,669
And refund mr. Thompson's fee.
396
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:49,738
Fine.
397
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:52,263
If there's nothing
Else, I'll be on my way.
398
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,548
I'm sorry things didn't
Work out, mr. Thompson.
399
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,539
Yeah. Right.
400
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:03,885
Bye, captain.
401
00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:05,654
Mr. Norvis.
402
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:06,910
You know, captain...
403
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:12,995
Maybe we are in the business
Of exploiting people's delusions.
404
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,629
But at least we're
Not in the business
405
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:17,388
Of destroying people's dreams.
406
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:29,912
Uh, they're dropping charges.
407
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:32,648
And you'll be getting
Your money back.
408
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,705
I heard.
409
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,855
So am I free to go now?
410
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,489
I'm afraid not.
411
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:42,925
There's still that
Weapons charge.
412
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:45,560
You have to be
Arraigned on that.
413
00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:47,384
Oh. I understand.
414
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:50,354
Listen, I want to thank you.
415
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:53,802
Yeah.
416
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:57,039
It's not everyone who
Would go out of his way
417
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:58,996
To do what you did.
418
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:03,000
I know I wouldn't.
419
00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:08,751
I really didn't mean to put
Everyone to all this trouble.
420
00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,452
Oh, it broke up the day.
421
00:20:10,476 --> 00:20:12,354
For this we evacuated a block?
422
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,089
Uh-huh.
423
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:16,625
Wasn't easy, but we nailed it.
424
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:20,663
It's miss dorothy st. Clair,
Wanted for nonpayment of rent.
425
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:23,731
I didn't realize it was
Such a serious infraction,
426
00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:25,968
But, then, I've only
Been paying rent
427
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:27,569
For such a short time.
428
00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:30,205
Until recently, miss
St. Clair was a resident
429
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,340
Of the east side
Psychiatric center.
430
00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:34,276
She was released
As part of a program
431
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:37,579
To integrate patients
Back into the community.
432
00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:40,037
I believe it's called "Dumping."
433
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:43,652
What happened?
434
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,587
Well, apparently, miss st. Clair
435
00:20:45,611 --> 00:20:47,556
Was late with her rent payment.
436
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,158
The landlord threatened
To lock her out.
437
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:52,193
So she told him
She had a deer rifle
438
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:54,096
And a sawed-off shotgun.
439
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:57,299
In reality, I have neither.
440
00:20:57,323 --> 00:20:59,267
Oh, hello again.
441
00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:00,357
Yeah, hi.
442
00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:04,206
I locked up the weapons.
443
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:05,708
Anyway, when we got there,
444
00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:09,077
We surrounded the apartment
And tried to talk her out.
445
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,747
They threatened me.
446
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,349
But what did you say you're
Gonna blow our heads off for?
447
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:18,720
It seemed to be what
You wanted to hear.
448
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,755
Then what happened?
449
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:23,626
After about a half hour,
We still got no response,
450
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,327
So we lobbed some tear gas in.
451
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:26,594
We had to break down her door.
452
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:28,397
She was sitting in
Front of the television,
453
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:29,898
Watching her
Favorite soap opera.
454
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:33,202
If you miss even one day,
You can be lost forever.
455
00:21:33,226 --> 00:21:34,502
I know.
456
00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:36,604
Miss st. Clair, I'm
Afraid we're gonna need
457
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:37,673
Some more information.
458
00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:39,274
Oh, I understand.
459
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:42,244
Harris, would you do the honors?
460
00:21:42,268 --> 00:21:44,312
Uh, miss st. Clair,
461
00:21:44,336 --> 00:21:47,082
Would you have a seat
Right over here, please?
462
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:48,783
Oh, thank you.
463
00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:50,407
Why, surely.
464
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:56,724
Could I offer you a
Cup of coffee or tea?
465
00:21:56,748 --> 00:21:59,594
Tea would be lovely, thank you.
466
00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:01,163
You know, sergeant,
467
00:22:01,187 --> 00:22:05,756
I have always been dependent
On the kindness of strangers.
468
00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:09,838
Didn't blanche dubois say that?
469
00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:11,762
Not to me.
470
00:22:16,302 --> 00:22:18,981
Now that the
A-team has returned,
471
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,448
I'll be heading back downstairs.
472
00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:23,418
Thank you for coming up, levitt.
473
00:22:23,442 --> 00:22:25,309
- hey, levitt?
- yeah.
474
00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:33,962
Anybody downstairs needs
A vest, they can have mine.
475
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:35,563
Feeling lucky, sergeant?
476
00:22:35,587 --> 00:22:37,199
Something wrong, wojo?
477
00:22:37,223 --> 00:22:39,823
Uh, no, nothing. I...
478
00:22:41,627 --> 00:22:43,605
I just don't like the
Way it makes me feel.
479
00:22:43,629 --> 00:22:45,640
Itchy?
480
00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:47,064
Invincible.
481
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:50,913
Really, barn, I don't know
About anybody else, okay?
482
00:22:50,937 --> 00:22:52,848
But when I put that thing on,
483
00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:55,250
I feel like some
Kind of supercop,
484
00:22:55,274 --> 00:22:57,741
Like I ought to have a
Big "W" on me or something.
485
00:23:02,448 --> 00:23:06,995
If I... If I start feeling
Like I can't get hurt,
486
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:10,154
Then I forget that maybe I
Could hurt somebody else.
487
00:23:13,692 --> 00:23:14,692
Sir?
488
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:19,296
It's up to sergeant
Wojciehowicz.
489
00:23:23,302 --> 00:23:24,435
Levitt.
490
00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:28,505
You can have mine, too.
491
00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:32,709
Doesn't fit philosophically.
492
00:23:35,314 --> 00:23:36,992
What about you, sergeant?
493
00:23:37,016 --> 00:23:38,493
Don't let peer
Pressure force you
494
00:23:38,517 --> 00:23:41,129
Into a foolish show of bravado.
495
00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:43,298
You can have this one, levitt.
496
00:23:43,322 --> 00:23:44,900
It's a little large.
497
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:47,135
Well, you can, you
Know, make yourself
498
00:23:47,159 --> 00:23:49,526
A pair of those little
Britches out of what's left.
499
00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:59,369
So... Decided to live
Dangerously, huh?
500
00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:04,853
Bully for you.
Its the way to go.
501
00:24:04,877 --> 00:24:06,521
Why, if you put on those things,
502
00:24:06,545 --> 00:24:08,990
It's just the same as
Admitting to all that scum
503
00:24:09,014 --> 00:24:11,926
And killers out on the street
That you're scared of them...
504
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,830
That you'd rather hide
Behind some sissy little apron
505
00:24:14,854 --> 00:24:17,454
Instead of going
Down like a real cop!
506
00:24:21,327 --> 00:24:22,426
Levitt!
36858
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