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1
00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:06,882
I'm perfectly certain
2
00:00:06,906 --> 00:00:10,753
This is all part of an error
On the part of my bank.
3
00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:13,323
But, mrs. Stratton,
I mean, since 1967,
4
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:19,062
You've bounced more
Than 250 checks in 48 states.
5
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:21,932
I'm going to hawaii next month.
6
00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:24,267
Or possibly not.
7
00:00:26,726 --> 00:00:28,338
Sergeant...
8
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:33,309
I intend to make full
Restitution of every cent.
9
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,979
But, mrs. Stratton,
These overdrafts here,
10
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:41,384
They total, I mean,
Almost $40,000.
11
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,708
I'll give you a check, darling.
12
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,358
If I had known you were a cop,
13
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,628
I wouldn't have tried
To pick your pocket.
14
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,029
No kidding.
15
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:56,366
It's just that your
Pants got me excited...
16
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,603
Stretchy double knits, wallet
Bulging out of your pocket
17
00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,537
Like it was a load of laundry.
18
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:02,872
Come on. Inside.
19
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,474
Everybody else is wearing
Those tight french jeans.
20
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:07,343
Try and get your hand in them.
21
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:09,968
I know what you mean.
22
00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:14,918
I finished processing kingman.
23
00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:16,319
Fine.
24
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:18,988
So, I'll run him over to
The tombs in a few minutes,
25
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,457
And then I'll come back.
26
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,591
Fine.
27
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,828
I can come back?
28
00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:26,830
More rumors, wojo?
29
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,965
The guy in pictures and prints
30
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:31,668
Just told me that
They're going to bust
31
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:34,438
A bunch of junior
Grades back to uniform
32
00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:36,840
And ship them over
To manhattan south.
33
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,908
I hear staten island.
34
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,276
Staten island?
35
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:45,548
I'm just kidding, wojo!
36
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:48,685
You know, that's how
Rumors get started, barn.
37
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:52,355
I've been hearing the
Same rumors you have
38
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,390
About precinct closings,
39
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:57,627
Demotions of third
Grades, sergeants.
40
00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,528
Captains.
41
00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:02,432
The point is, there has
Been no definite word yet,
42
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,501
And until there
Is, the thing to do
43
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:07,170
Is not to pay any
Attention to idle gossip.
44
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:08,872
You guys hear the latest?
45
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:13,176
What?
46
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,278
Sir, you want to get in on this?
47
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,946
All right, levitt,
What do you got?
48
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,648
This is leonard
Roth, a cabdriver.
49
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,283
Mr. Roth was robbed at gunpoint,
50
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,885
Then locked in the
Trunk of his hack.
51
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,653
Right. Four days ago.
52
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,822
And you're just reporting it?
53
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,323
I just got out!
54
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:28,758
Oh, I see.
55
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:31,360
Four days in a hot
And stinking trunk...
56
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,997
I was pounding and
Screaming my lungs out,
57
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,631
And no one lifted a finger.
58
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,533
Why don't you have
A seat, mr. Roth?
59
00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:39,669
There were people
Walking by all the time.
60
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,371
I'm begging for help,
And they're saying,
61
00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:44,608
"Ignore it. It
Doesn't concern us.
62
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,943
Maybe it's allen funt."
63
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,445
Obviously, somebody
Did let you out.
64
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,848
Oh, sure... Some
Clown rear-ended me,
65
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:53,950
And the trunk popped open.
66
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,686
He didn't know I was in there.
67
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,455
You want to have a seat?
We'll show you some pictures.
68
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:01,257
Maybe you'll recognize somebody.
69
00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:04,628
Yeah, thank you.
70
00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:08,431
Uh, dietrich, want to
Take care of mr. Roth?
71
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,634
No.
72
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:17,173
No, I wouldn't... So don't ask.
73
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,275
Sir, if you need anything else,
74
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,978
I'll be downstairs getting
My things together.
75
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,313
What?
76
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,214
To be prepared to
Vacate the premises.
77
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,382
Didn't you know, sir?
78
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:27,917
According to informed sources,
79
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,886
They're tearing
Down the precinct
80
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,656
To make room for luxury
Low-income housing units.
81
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,992
Where did you get that one?
82
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,216
The catering truck.
83
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:43,666
Okay. Got it.
84
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,769
Barn, there's a disturbance
85
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:48,404
At a dry cleaners
Over on bleecker.
86
00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,874
Uh, you and wojo.
87
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,508
Somebody's going to have
To bounce mrs. Stratton
88
00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,510
Over to manhattan south.
89
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,379
I'll take care of it.
90
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,582
Okay. Let's go, woj.
91
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:03,152
- hey, harris.
- yeah?
92
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,121
Have you heard anything
About them busting detectives
93
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,623
Back to uniform?
94
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:09,759
Hey, man. I wouldn't
Worry about it.
95
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:13,018
Well, I'm not gonna buy
Any new clothes for a while.
96
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,622
That's always a good idea.
97
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,272
All right, come on in here.
98
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,774
I'm warning you. You keep
That terrorist away from me!
99
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:34,077
Don't you threaten
Me, you expansionist pig!
100
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:37,112
Watch who you're calling
A pig, you camel driver!
101
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:39,282
Hey! Both of you, knock it off.
102
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:41,517
I have a station wagon.
103
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:43,453
What's going on here?
104
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:45,688
Oh, barn, you know
Mr. Cotterman,
105
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:47,122
Cotterman's liquors.
106
00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:49,359
- mr. Cotterman.
- hello, captain.
107
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:52,562
Barney, this is
Mr. Steven haddad.
108
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,330
This is captain miller.
109
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,467
Mr. Haddad owns the cleaners
Next door to cotterman.
110
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,235
He's an arab.
111
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:02,072
So? You didn't
Introduce him as a jew.
112
00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:06,276
He knew it already, right?
113
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,244
All right, what's happening?
114
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:10,680
Well, barn, according
To mr. Cotterman,
115
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,482
Mr. Haddad tossed a brick
116
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,050
Through the front
Window of his store.
117
00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:17,320
While my back was turned...
But what else is new?
118
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,755
If I was going to throw a
Brick, I'd throw it in your face!
119
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,757
All right, all right.
What's the problem?
120
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:23,326
There's no problem, captain.
121
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,595
- tell him to stay
Out of my alley.
- your alley?
122
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,698
My liquor store was there
Before your dry cleaners.
123
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,367
He puts his trash bins
In where I park my truck!
124
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,269
I need room for the ice machine.
125
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:35,237
So what goes in
Next... A kibbutz?
126
00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:37,773
Anyway, when mr. Cotterman
127
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:40,243
Confronted mr. Haddad
With the brick,
128
00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:41,611
A six-minute war ensued,
129
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:44,914
During which they took a
Couple swipes at each other.
130
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:47,283
I take it the
Charges are mutual?
131
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,485
Oh, yeah. They agreed on that.
132
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:51,321
We're going to need
A few statements.
133
00:06:51,345 --> 00:06:53,155
I know the procedure, captain.
134
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:57,460
Sergeant harris, shall we?
135
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,995
Mr. Haddad, if you'll
Have a seat over here,
136
00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:02,365
Sergeant wojciehowicz
Will take your statement.
137
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:04,167
I didn't throw that brick.
138
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,536
Regardless, we're going
To have to book you.
139
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,505
Sure. Why not?
I'm an arab, right?
140
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:11,474
Aren't we responsible for
All that's bad in the world...
141
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:13,343
The mideast violence,
142
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:16,601
The hostage situation,
The energy problem?
143
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,718
Don't all speak at once.
144
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:25,009
Have a seat, mr. Haddad.
145
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:37,299
You know, you
Got a horrible stain
146
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:39,602
On the back of your sweater.
147
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,236
So what?
148
00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:44,374
I'll just toss it in the
Sink with a little woolite.
149
00:07:44,398 --> 00:07:45,975
It's good as new.
150
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,945
Sure. Take your best shot.
151
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,681
Go pitch a tent.
152
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,315
Where?
153
00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:56,018
Your zionist hoodlums
Sold our homeland.
154
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:57,286
Zionist hoodlums?
155
00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,190
Where'd you pick that
Up... Lynn redgrave?
156
00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:01,924
That's vanessa, stupid.
157
00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,561
Lynn is the one on
The hospital show.
158
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,096
What hospital show?
159
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,466
You know, the one with the guy
That used to be on "M♪a♪s♪h."
160
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,734
Oh, yeah.
161
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:15,505
Why isn't he on "Trapper john"?
162
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,072
How do I know?!
163
00:08:17,096 --> 00:08:19,341
Ask the guy from "Bonanza"!
164
00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:21,411
You ask him. What
Am I... Your slave?
165
00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:22,945
You were once.
166
00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:25,615
It's good to see you gentlemen
Have reached an accord.
167
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:26,649
- what?!
- good.
168
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,017
Wojo, you want to turn
169
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,052
Mr. Haddad and
Mr. Cotterman loose?
170
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,188
Harris, would you
Get their valuables?
171
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,257
Captain, I'm still
Pressing charges.
172
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,359
So am I! We despise
Each other, right?
173
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:37,660
Absolutely.
174
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,597
Which is why I admire you
Gentlemen all the more,
175
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:43,032
Putting aside your
Petty differences
176
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,300
In the face of more
Compelling issues
177
00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:47,302
Like police manpower shortages,
178
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:48,738
Departmental budget cuts,
179
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:51,106
Detectives working
Double caseloads.
180
00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:52,775
You want us to leave?
181
00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:53,976
Fine.
182
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,111
Come sign.
183
00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:59,515
I wouldn't ordinarily do this,
184
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,751
But as a special
Favor, captain...
185
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,719
Thank you.
186
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:06,589
Mr. Haddad.
187
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:09,224
If he can be gracious, so can I.
188
00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:10,560
Wonderful.
189
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:13,696
And I'm sure if you two
Gentlemen would sit down
190
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,399
And discuss your problems
Face-to-face across the table,
191
00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:20,670
You would come up with a
Just and lasting solution.
192
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:23,172
Sure, when the
Red sea parts again.
193
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:25,107
If it did, you'd build
A settlement there.
194
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,643
So! We made the desert bloom.
195
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,679
Usurper! Martinizer!
196
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,069
Good day, gentlemen!
197
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:37,653
At least they're talking.
198
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:39,589
Ah, the same to you, bub.
199
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:44,126
It just so happens I had
This suit washed last week.
200
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,762
Barney, inspector luger's here.
201
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:47,763
Thank you.
202
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:49,298
Luger: hi, barn. How you doing?
203
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,100
Ah, inspector.
204
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,102
Nice to see you
All here together.
205
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,404
Ah, what's up?
206
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,306
Uh, nothing much, barney,
207
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:59,374
Just a minor
Departmental policy change
208
00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:01,310
That will alter the lives
209
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,580
Of every man, woman,
And child in the nypd.
210
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,349
Well, what is it?
211
00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:09,785
None of your business, wojo.
212
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:12,021
Just kidding, just kidding.
213
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:13,723
Can we go into
Your office, barn?
214
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,290
If this affects everybody,
215
00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:17,493
I'd just as soon we
All hear it firsthand.
216
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,795
Sure. Why not?
217
00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:22,264
Well, you know how
The big brass downtown
218
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:25,234
Is always trying to make
Changes in the department...
219
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,269
You know, goose
Up the efficiency,
220
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,204
Bolster the productivity,
221
00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:31,473
All that pie-in-the-sky garbage?
222
00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:33,709
Yeah. Well, they're doing it.
223
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,310
How?
224
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:37,146
Specialty squads.
225
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,749
Specialty squads? Yeah.
226
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,652
Now instead of having to go
Out on every piddly little call
227
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:45,354
That comes into
The precinct, see,
228
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:48,958
You expand your area of
Operation and specialize...
229
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,561
Like one squad will
Be strictly bunco,
230
00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:54,464
One will be vice, one
Will be narcotics...
231
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:55,965
And us?
232
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:59,301
Well, I had to pull a
Few strings, barney,
233
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,270
Call in a couple of I.O.U.S,
234
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:05,007
But I got you homicide.
235
00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:08,243
Yeah, yeah, no more
Second-class collars
236
00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:10,980
For my boys from
The good old 1-2.
237
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:14,872
So from now on, it's going
To be strictly murder.
238
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:22,079
Thank you, inspector luger.
239
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:31,801
Uh... But I've been
Waiting a week.
240
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,125
You guys promised
You'd have it for me today.
241
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:38,073
Well, I don't care if
You've got a bludgeoning
242
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:39,742
And a suicide pact ahead of me,
243
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:42,399
I need an official cause
Of death for my report.
244
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:49,173
I know he was stabbed 27 times.
245
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:54,545
Look, haven't you got a latin
Term for that or something?
246
00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:59,695
Okay, then.
247
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,086
Multiple...
248
00:12:04,523 --> 00:12:06,457
Stab wounds.
249
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,773
You see, sergeant dietrich,
250
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,975
I have always placed a
Great deal of emphasis
251
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:15,678
On good grooming
And personal hygiene.
252
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:18,781
Well, you know,
Clothes make the man...
253
00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:21,283
Cleanliness is
Next to godliness...
254
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:23,719
A smile and a shoeshine.
255
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,988
Those are my mottoes. Right.
256
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:28,623
Well, when I realized what
That person had done to me,
257
00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:31,861
I understandably
Became a little upset.
258
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:35,397
You slit your barber's throat.
259
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:38,856
Of course. Look
What he did to my hair.
260
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:42,972
It looks fine to me.
261
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:46,308
Oh, no. That's
Where you're wrong.
262
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:49,478
The sideburns are
Measurably uneven.
263
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,581
It's tapered
Crooked in the back.
264
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,515
He gave me a cowlick.
265
00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:55,974
I look like alfalfa in
"The little rascals."
266
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,321
Yeah, now I see it.
267
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:02,613
Yes. Everyone does.
268
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:07,830
Jenkins report finished yet?
269
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:09,665
No.
270
00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:13,235
The medical examiner's
Backed up till next week.
271
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,459
You can never get an
Autopsy when you need one.
272
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:19,108
Hello, people.
273
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:25,781
How did it go?
274
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,150
Eh, same as the others...
275
00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:30,920
Mutilated body
Sitting in a garbage can,
276
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:33,055
Hacked up into
Manageable portions
277
00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:36,392
And stuffed into
Assorted trash bags.
278
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:39,128
I see.
279
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,717
Ah, danish.
280
00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:44,388
Any leads at all?
281
00:13:45,591 --> 00:13:46,936
Well, I think I got
It narrowed down
282
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,871
To somebody who's really sick.
283
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:58,347
Anyway, I tagged the remains
And had them sent downtown.
284
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,382
Write it up and
Keep me apprised.
285
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:04,008
Don't let it get to
You. Hey, no problem.
286
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,268
No, there's nobody in there.
287
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,757
Just checking.
288
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:26,175
Captain, I finished the
Arrest report on st. Martin.
289
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,032
Oh, fine.
290
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:35,050
"Probable motive...
Too much off the top"?
291
00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:37,820
Well, take a look at him.
292
00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:40,689
To tell you the truth,
293
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,092
It's been, what,
Almost two weeks now?
294
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,883
I'm really not completely
Adjusted to our new clientele.
295
00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:49,164
Actually, it's not
That much different
296
00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:51,500
From the old caseloads.
297
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:56,138
There's minor squabbles,
Family disputes, petty thefts...
298
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,206
Same as before.
299
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,908
Except now we've got their guts
300
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,409
Splattered all over
The sidewalk, right?
301
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:03,301
You could let a guy finish.
302
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:10,820
Can I help you?
303
00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:12,554
Oh, I'm sorry.
304
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,357
I couldn't help but
Admire your hair.
305
00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:17,326
It's perfect.
306
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:20,029
Thank you.
307
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,764
You probably had to
Kill a lot of barbers
308
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:24,788
Before you found the right one.
309
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,974
Okay, henry. Time for
Pictures and prints.
310
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:34,709
Oh, no. I couldn't possibly
Have my picture taken.
311
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:37,146
Not looking like this. We
Been through this already.
312
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,513
Let's go!
313
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:40,715
Perhaps if I saw his barber...
Outta the chair, henry!
314
00:15:40,739 --> 00:15:42,673
You're through!
315
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,884
Sir, your mail.
316
00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:57,499
What's all that?
317
00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,669
Unsolved cases of a
Non-homicidal nature...
318
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:01,637
You're supposed to
Give them your okay
319
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,406
Before pawning them off on
Our various specialty squads.
320
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:07,609
Okay.
321
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,111
Something else, levitt?
322
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,446
Sir, I just want to say that
While I realize at the moment
323
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,949
I'm only an
Administrative drudge,
324
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,085
Sir, my only request is
That in the hopeful event
325
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,420
Of an unwieldy amount
Of senseless bloodshed,
326
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:21,691
I.E. Gangland slayings,
Terrorist bombings...
327
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:23,659
God willing, a tower killer...
328
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:24,894
That you'll bear in mind
329
00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:27,078
That I'm still available
For squad-room duty.
330
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:31,667
I'll keep it in mind.
331
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,024
Bless you.
332
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:39,809
Don't shoot. It's me.
333
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,410
Bang, bang.
334
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,645
Aah!
335
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,115
Ah ah. Didn't say, "Freeze."
336
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:48,450
Oh, darn.
337
00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:50,052
Hey, carol.
338
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:53,522
Hi, wojo, diet, har.
339
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,858
Inspector.
340
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:58,360
Seems kind of dead in here.
341
00:16:58,384 --> 00:17:00,996
Business is good, hmm?
342
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,766
Oh.
343
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:07,136
Who did mr. Belvedere kill?
344
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,504
His barber.
345
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,839
Ahh. Lovers' quarrel, hmm?
346
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,408
Bad haircut, so
He slit his throat.
347
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:15,711
Mmm. Tsk, tsk, tsk,
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
348
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:18,047
What kind of a murdering scum
349
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:20,249
Do you call yourself,
Anyway, hmm?
350
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,239
Henry.
351
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,922
Look, if your barber
Gives you a bad trim,
352
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:30,092
Lets a couple of itchy
Hairs fall down your collar,
353
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:33,985
So you don't tip him, you
Swipe his copy of cavalier.
354
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,166
Ah, inspector,
What brings you...
355
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:40,802
Don't go slicing a man's
Throat from ear to ear!
356
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,404
Social visit? Huh?
357
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:45,074
Just wondering what
Brings you down here.
358
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,841
Oh, nothing much, barney,
359
00:17:46,865 --> 00:17:50,045
Just a little quasi-official
Personal business.
360
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,148
You got a few minutes, barn?
361
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,683
As a matter a fact, I've
Got about 75 case files
362
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,185
On my desk I got to go through.
363
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:57,652
Ah, good.
364
00:17:57,676 --> 00:18:00,111
Well, then, one more little
Thing won't matter, will it?
365
00:18:07,686 --> 00:18:09,365
Got your pictures
For you, arthur.
366
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,732
Oh, boy.
367
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,836
Dead barber from the left,
Dead barber from the right,
368
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:19,174
And, of course, your
Dead barber dead-on.
369
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:21,176
What's this?
370
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,079
Oh, well, when I saw you
Standing over the body,
371
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,049
Making notes, I thought
It would make a cute shot.
372
00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:29,518
It does. You can keep it.
373
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,823
Thank you. My mother's
Been asking me for a picture.
374
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:36,025
Which one's harris?
375
00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:37,659
Uh, I am.
376
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:40,829
Hi. I'm ron harris.
377
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,431
Alex kramer.
378
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:46,401
I worked up a composite for
You of your hacked-up torsos.
379
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:52,608
Ah.
380
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,909
My, aren't these lovely?
381
00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,216
What, uh...
382
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,717
What happened to the
Other photographer?
383
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:04,719
He quit.
384
00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:07,890
Listen, why don't
You take a seat,
385
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:10,781
And we'll look these over?
386
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,273
Oh, look, could I get
You some coffee or tea?
387
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:25,607
Coffee.
388
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:27,809
How do you take yours? Black.
389
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,501
Oh, good.
390
00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:33,715
So, anyway, barney,
391
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:36,985
With this departmental
Reorganization going on,
392
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,953
You know, and all our people
393
00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:41,957
Being shuffled around
From pillar to pole,
394
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:45,327
It figures there's going
To be a few jobs available
395
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,463
With the hierarchy downtown.
396
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:50,032
I wouldn't be at all surprised.
397
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:53,001
No, no, not that I'm
Exactly miserable
398
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:56,205
Schlepping around
The way I do now, barney.
399
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:58,473
But let's face it, you know?
400
00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:00,276
The old inspector...
401
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:03,178
Isn't getting any
Younger, barney, hmm?
402
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,448
There's no reason why I
Shouldn't try to grab off
403
00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:10,352
One of them cushy desk
Jobs in my declining years...
404
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,387
A title maybe, you know,
405
00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:16,325
Nice nameplate on the
Desk, a little prestige.
406
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:17,927
I deserve it, barney.
407
00:20:17,951 --> 00:20:20,862
Absolutely... And I'm
Sure they'd welcome
408
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,966
A man of your caliber
And expertise downtown.
409
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,235
I knew you'd say that, barney.
410
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:29,070
That's why I'd like
Your recommendation
411
00:20:29,094 --> 00:20:34,143
On this
Performance-evaluation form.
412
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:35,810
There you go.
413
00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:37,045
Huh?
414
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:40,149
I know you'd jump at
The chance, barney,
415
00:20:40,173 --> 00:20:43,185
To give a favorable,
Objective appraisal
416
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:46,221
To a man who's
Treated you like his son
417
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:49,158
For all these many years.
418
00:20:49,182 --> 00:20:51,326
Uh...
419
00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:55,330
What exactly is it I'm
Recommending you for?
420
00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:57,132
No big deal, barney...
421
00:20:57,156 --> 00:21:00,869
A little desk tucked away
In a corner someplace
422
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:03,505
In the
Public-information office.
423
00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:05,374
You're kidding.
424
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:06,908
No!
425
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:10,212
What do they call
It... Uh, media liaison
426
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:13,949
Or some crapola like
That, barney, that's all.
427
00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:18,754
You know, I talk to the public
And meet with the press and...
428
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,423
Like, suppose some poor
Slob of a cop, you know,
429
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,692
Gets his fingers
Caught in the till,
430
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:27,429
Or maybe he's put a slug into
Some innocent bystander, huh?
431
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,831
I go down and talk to reporters,
432
00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:32,167
Give them a little
Song and dance...
433
00:21:32,191 --> 00:21:35,204
"Yes, we're looking
Into this very carefully.
434
00:21:35,228 --> 00:21:38,307
"We're conducting a
Thorough investigation.
435
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:42,144
"In the meantime, why the
Hell don't you just run along
436
00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,668
And mind your own business?"
437
00:21:47,206 --> 00:21:48,951
Something wrong, barn?
438
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,786
No, no, no, uh...
439
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,989
Well, I don't see you
Writing anything down.
440
00:21:54,013 --> 00:22:01,229
Uh, well, uh,
Um... Uh, ha ha. I...
441
00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:04,822
Barney, a ballpoint right here.
442
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,964
What're you up to?
443
00:22:15,401 --> 00:22:17,012
Nothin'.
444
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:18,546
Waiting for the morgue to call.
445
00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:20,548
Aren't we all?
446
00:22:20,572 --> 00:22:23,918
Yeah.
447
00:22:23,942 --> 00:22:27,489
I guess a detail
Like this gets ya...
448
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,958
Gets you thinking about
When you're gonna die.
449
00:22:29,982 --> 00:22:32,327
I wasn't.
450
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:35,051
I mean, life is...
451
00:22:36,389 --> 00:22:41,825
Is really just marking
Time till it's over.
452
00:22:43,462 --> 00:22:45,962
Sitting around waiting
For something to happen.
453
00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:50,167
Is mike douglas on tonight?
454
00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:54,171
Who?
455
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:57,919
Excuse me. Is this homicide?
456
00:22:57,943 --> 00:22:59,788
Uh, over there is.
457
00:22:59,812 --> 00:23:02,524
This is homicide.
458
00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:05,460
- may I help you?
- I may have one.
459
00:23:05,484 --> 00:23:08,763
Well, uh, want to
Have a seat, miss...
460
00:23:08,787 --> 00:23:11,165
Mrs. Harriet shulton.
461
00:23:11,189 --> 00:23:14,570
Shulton... Who's the
Victim, mrs. Shulton?
462
00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:17,071
My husband, david shulton.
463
00:23:17,095 --> 00:23:19,508
When did it happen?
464
00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:21,710
That's up to vincent.
465
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:23,779
Who's vincent?
466
00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:26,370
The man I hired to kill david.
467
00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:31,252
Barney!
468
00:23:31,276 --> 00:23:33,087
Huh?
469
00:23:33,111 --> 00:23:36,391
Miss shulton, you
Put out a contract
470
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:37,692
On your husband's life?
471
00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:40,061
Yes, but I want to cancel it.
472
00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:43,153
I can do that, can't I?
473
00:23:56,636 --> 00:24:00,315
I'm afraid the only calls
We make now are homicide.
474
00:24:00,339 --> 00:24:02,017
Homicide?
475
00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:04,653
- you're not serious.
- I'm afraid so.
476
00:24:04,677 --> 00:24:06,721
But, captain, I've been
Bringing my business here
477
00:24:06,745 --> 00:24:09,123
For 15 years. Couldn't
You make an exception
478
00:24:09,147 --> 00:24:11,125
- for a regular customer?
- I'm afraid not.
479
00:24:11,149 --> 00:24:14,963
I think the, uh, man from
Glad has struck again.
480
00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:18,066
They, uh, found another
Body stuffed in the garbage bin
481
00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:19,756
A couple of blocks from here.
482
00:24:20,893 --> 00:24:22,693
Was it wearing a thin tie?
34251
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