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1
00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:06,750
Harris not in yet?
2
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:07,884
Uh, nope.
3
00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:09,553
I'm doing his filing.
4
00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:11,521
And I appreciate it.
5
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,657
Maybe he stopped
To pick out a dress.
6
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:14,658
Possibly.
7
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:16,626
Did harris catch mugging duty?
8
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:17,661
Yeah.
9
00:00:21,454 --> 00:00:23,533
Huh?
10
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,536
Wojo, if I remember
Correctly, you, uh...
11
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,004
You weren't so amused by it
12
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,805
Last time you
Pulled mugging duty.
13
00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:33,342
Oh, well, that was
A couple years ago.
14
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:36,746
Yeah, I've gained my
Perspective on it now.
15
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:39,348
I can find the humor in it.
16
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,318
Particularly when
It's someone else.
17
00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:44,020
Sure.
18
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,655
Difficult not to feel foolish
19
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:48,524
When you're wearing high
Heels and stockings and panties.
20
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:49,893
Panties?
21
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:52,561
What do you wear panties
For? No one can see 'em.
22
00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:54,964
What are you talking about?
You got to wear panties.
23
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:57,355
Don't wear panties,
You feel like a tramp.
24
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:02,839
Gentlemen, we have work to do.
25
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:05,008
Or at least the
Appearance of work,
26
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:06,342
Just for my benefit.
27
00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:08,111
Easy.
28
00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:09,813
Nick, you have filing?
29
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:13,304
Yeah, I was just waiting for
A lull in the conversation.
30
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,275
This seems to be it.
31
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:24,593
They told me downstairs
32
00:01:24,617 --> 00:01:26,562
That somebody up
Here could help me.
33
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,832
I'm sergeant yemana.
34
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:31,367
Did you handle missing persons?
35
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:34,092
Oh, I do a little of everything.
36
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,942
Could somebody help me?
37
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,176
Nick?
38
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,045
Uh, barney, this is miss, uh...
39
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:43,046
Schnable.
40
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:44,347
Miss schnable.
41
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:45,949
She wants another opinion.
42
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:48,384
I'm captain miller.
What can I do for you?
43
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:50,353
It's my father.
44
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:51,922
He's missing.
45
00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:54,324
All right. Just
Have a seat here.
46
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,892
Sergeant wojciehowicz
Will help you.
47
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:57,326
Wojo, this is miss schnable.
48
00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:59,529
Hey. Be with you in a minute.
49
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,932
This is a missing persons case.
50
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:03,934
Okay.
51
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:06,369
I guess you get a
Lot of missing people.
52
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:09,861
Yeah, well, only if
Someone's looking for them.
53
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,745
See, if, uh, if no one's
Looking for them,
54
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,649
Then they ain't
A missing person.
55
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,805
They're just gone.
56
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,020
Barney: ah, good
Morning, sergeant harris.
57
00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:27,590
Do you know what this
Country needs, barney?
58
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:28,624
What's that?
59
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:29,993
A good depression.
60
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,761
Be a nice change of pace.
61
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:34,764
I mean, maybe if
Business weren't so good,
62
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,699
These merchants
Wouldn't be able to afford
63
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,101
To jerk their customers around.
64
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:39,602
I take it you had a problem?
65
00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:42,205
Yeah, I went to pick up my shoes
66
00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:44,140
And my hat for the detail.
67
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,141
Tasty.
68
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,176
Hmm.
69
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,844
But the dress wasn't ready.
70
00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:49,845
Why not?
71
00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:51,113
I don't know.
72
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:54,584
Barn, all I wanted done
Was a few alterations,
73
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:55,918
A little beadwork.
74
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:58,221
Couldn't you find a dress
That was already, uh...
75
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:01,090
I don't buy off
The rack, barney.
76
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,692
Sorry.
77
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,627
Nick's already done your filing.
78
00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,029
Oh, thanks, nick.
79
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:08,998
So you can pick up a little
Time by going and shaving now.
80
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,166
Shave?
81
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,534
Shave.
82
00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:12,935
My legs don't need it.
83
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:14,037
Good.
84
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:16,606
Smoothness... It
Runs in the family.
85
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,364
I was referring
To your moustache.
86
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:21,844
Pardon me?
87
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,513
Your moustache.
88
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:27,450
That stuff growing
Up there on your lip.
89
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:30,175
- oh, yeah... This.
- hmm.
90
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:34,224
I'd really prefer
Not to, barney.
91
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:35,558
Harris.
92
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,227
Excuse me, barney.
93
00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,462
I think I've got to take these
Things down to my locker.
94
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:40,552
Harris.
95
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:45,568
Not too happy about
Losing the old whisk broom?
96
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:47,103
He'll shave.
97
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:49,405
You know, a moustache can become
98
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:51,641
An important extension
Of a man's personality.
99
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,275
Shaving it can be
Very traumatic.
100
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,945
Gentlemen, let's not
Make a big deal out of this.
101
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,381
I shaved once.
102
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,671
I didn't like it.
103
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:14,257
Okay, now, before we can
Officially file a complaint,
104
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:15,958
We got to know that
The guy has been missing
105
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,494
For more than 48 hours.
106
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,729
Oh, he has been.
107
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,464
All right. How long?
108
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:24,534
Counting today, 28 years.
109
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:27,470
It would've been nice
If it'd been reported
110
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,572
A little bit sooner.
111
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:32,008
It was a little complicated.
112
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,843
Uh-huh.
113
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:37,246
See, I was raised in
State institutions,
114
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,781
In foster homes.
115
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:41,951
I never knew either
Of my parents.
116
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:45,309
There's a real good
Chance I'm a bastard.
117
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,260
Anyway, a couple of years ago,
118
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:53,796
I decided to try and find them,
119
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,498
But nobody would help me.
120
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,100
So I started
Searching on my own,
121
00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,637
And I went to the
Social security,
122
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:03,005
And I went to the v.A.
123
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:06,275
And through them, I
Was able to trace him
124
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:09,779
To the place where he works
Right here in manhattan...
125
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:13,583
The continental health
Spa on christopher street.
126
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,451
And he's there now?
127
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:17,153
Well, yeah.
128
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,556
Well, then he ain't missing.
129
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:24,594
Well, not exactly...
But he won't see me.
130
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:25,828
Oh, well, uh...
131
00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:28,130
See, if that's the situation,
132
00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:30,366
There isn't that much
That we can do about it.
133
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:34,103
He won't see me because
He doesn't know who I am.
134
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:37,706
If you could just
Make him talk to me,
135
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,076
Give me a chance to explain,
136
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,746
Then everything would be fine.
137
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,447
Can't force a man to talk to you
138
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,349
If he doesn't want
To talk to you.
139
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,718
Why not? It's your job.
140
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,086
No, lady.
141
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,155
See, we deal mainly in
The criminal element here.
142
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:54,190
Captain...
143
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:57,460
Do I have a right to see
My own father or don't I?
144
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,328
Yeah. Of course you do.
145
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,997
No, she does not.
146
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,065
What?
147
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,866
Her father doesn't
Want to see her.
148
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:05,768
- why not?
- she's probably a bastard.
149
00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:06,803
Wojo!
150
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,271
Her father deserted her,
151
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,940
And now she wants us to sit
On him while she talks to him.
152
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:12,976
Oh. Uh, when did this happen?
153
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,210
1950.
154
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:15,378
Oh, I see.
155
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,113
No, you don't see.
156
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,315
He doesn't know who I am.
157
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,917
If I could just have
A chance to explain...
158
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:24,387
Miss schnable, this
Is not a police matter.
159
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:26,389
He's my father!
160
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:28,457
I've got documented proof!
161
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:32,028
I've got social security
Things, notarized things!
162
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,496
That's not the issue.
163
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,031
I've got rights!
164
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:38,768
I suppose you've heard
Of the napoleonic code.
165
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,303
We sure have.
166
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:41,770
So?
167
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,806
- so?
- so...
168
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:46,642
So, it isn't that
We're not sympathetic
169
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:48,011
To your problem.
170
00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:50,579
It's just that it's out
Of our jurisdiction.
171
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:53,249
You're not gonna help me at all?
172
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:55,251
Perhaps we can recommend you
173
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:59,722
To some, uh, social agencies.
174
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:00,824
Never mind.
175
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:03,193
I'm sorry I wasted your time.
176
00:08:03,217 --> 00:08:05,528
Well, we're sorry,
Too, miss schnable.
177
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:08,731
You don't have to worry
About my bothering you again.
178
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,621
Goodbye!
179
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,772
Harris: okay, mr. Holly,
180
00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:18,774
If you'll just step
Inside here, please.
181
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,676
It's all over... My
Career, my life!
182
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,111
Look, take it easy, mr. Holly.
183
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,646
I might as well be dead!
184
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,149
You'll feel much better
After you're booked.
185
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,283
Oh, god!
186
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:28,818
What do you got here?
187
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,319
Milton holly... He's the host
188
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,755
Of one of the educational
Shows at the station.
189
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:33,822
"Mr. Science."
190
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,191
Really?
191
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,692
You've heard of me?
192
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,594
I'm afraid not.
193
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:42,898
Of course not. Who
Watches channel 37?
194
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:45,801
Apparently, mr. Holly was
Performing an experiment
195
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:48,071
On the air when his
Helper of the day,
196
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:50,773
One scott macmillan, age 13,
197
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,776
Began making what he
Considered disruptive comments.
198
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,879
"Boring, mr. Science.
Big deal, mr. Science.
199
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:59,983
If you're so smart, why
Are you bald, mr. Science?"
200
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:03,152
Mr. Holly finally replied
201
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,421
That master macmillan
Should "Either shut up
202
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:08,857
Or," and I'm quoting here,
203
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,595
He'd "Put his can
On a bunsen burner."
204
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:15,131
On the air. I
Said it on the air.
205
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,600
I couldn't wait
For a station break.
206
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,535
The kid started laughing at him,
207
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,470
And mr. Holly went berserk.
208
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,872
He chased the kid
All around the studio,
209
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:26,309
Knocking down the
Lights, tv equipment.
210
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,010
The station is pressing charges?
211
00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:29,178
Yeah.
212
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,813
- what about the kid?
- he's suing.
213
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:33,949
Kids! They're monsters today.
214
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:36,385
Used to be you'd show
Them how to run a motor
215
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,854
On static electricity
Or how to suck an egg
216
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:41,123
Through a bottle, they
Thought you were a god.
217
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:42,558
Well, uh, unfortunately,
218
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,194
I'm afraid we're gonna
Have to book you, so...
219
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,896
If you'll just have a
Seat right over here.
220
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,465
Have a seat right here
At sergeant yemana's desk
221
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:53,035
Since sergeant harris
Has a prior commitment.
222
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:56,839
Nothing we can't talk
About in your office.
223
00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:59,041
All right.
224
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:00,443
Nick, you'll take
Care of mister, uh...
225
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:01,467
Science.
226
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,685
The object is to provide
A believable target.
227
00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:13,556
I'm afraid the moustache
Might compromise the situation.
228
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,457
See that? It's one of the things
229
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:17,059
I really admire about you.
230
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,194
- what's that?
- your flexibility.
231
00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:20,430
That's kind of you.
232
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:23,999
Your lack of rigidity.
"Might compromise"?
233
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:26,469
Your willingness to see
Both sides of a question,
234
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,238
To bend in a given
Situation if necessary.
235
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,840
I'm really flattered.
What's your point?
236
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:33,676
I really don't want
To shave this off.
237
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,177
Harris.
238
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,212
It's not a matter
Of vanity, barney.
239
00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:40,383
It's just that, well...
240
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:43,418
It looks so damn good.
241
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,557
Barn, a call came
In from dispatch.
242
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:50,125
Disturbance over
At continental spa.
243
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:53,229
That's where miss schnable
Said her father worked.
244
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,519
All right, you're in charge.
Take yemana with you.
245
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,811
You know, I used to
Be on the network.
246
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:11,147
Every sunday morning.
247
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,883
Now there's nothing
On there but trash.
248
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,718
I think most critics would agree
249
00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:18,354
That children's programming
Has deteriorated significantly
250
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:19,555
In recent years.
251
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:23,125
Imbecilic cartoons, superheroes,
252
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:25,995
Junk food commercials.
Nothing for the mind.
253
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,398
Of course there are still
Some worthwhile programs.
254
00:11:28,422 --> 00:11:30,566
There's, uh, youth
Documentaries,
255
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,368
Some excellent animal series.
256
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,535
Sure.
257
00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:35,827
You ever watch
vermin, vermin, vermin?
258
00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:38,541
No.
259
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,665
It's disgusting but informative.
260
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,613
Wojo and nick not back yet?
261
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:44,714
No.
262
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,382
You seen harris?
263
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,807
No, not since he came
Out of your office.
264
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,926
Is there something
You want to say to me?
265
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,961
I don't believe we've
Been introduced.
266
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,700
Now, that is a change.
267
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,035
Thank you.
268
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,903
I guess shaving
Wasn't as difficult
269
00:12:07,927 --> 00:12:09,705
As you thought it was gonna be.
270
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,841
Nah. On the contrary.
271
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:14,010
Now I'm glad I did it.
272
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,144
Good.
273
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,246
I mean, actually,
What is the function
274
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:18,514
Of a moustache anyway?
275
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:21,706
It's really just a
Masculine affectation.
276
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,392
That's one way to look at it.
277
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,627
Well, I mean, it's kind of silly
278
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,729
When you stop
And think about it.
279
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,098
I mean, it's just a
Stupid clump of hair
280
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,133
Sitting over your mouth.
281
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,469
A meaningless,
Superficial demand
282
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,393
For attention.
283
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,377
Everybody in here.
284
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:49,678
Just leave me alone, okay?
285
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:50,946
I love you, daddy.
286
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,781
Tell her to leave me alone!
287
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,517
Hey, both of you quiet down.
288
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,586
Hello again, miss schnable.
289
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,721
I just wanted to talk to him.
290
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,556
Okay. What happened?
291
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:03,592
Well, she went over
To the continental spa
292
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,960
And tried to get in.
293
00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:07,095
They wouldn't let her
In 'cause it was all men.
294
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:09,086
So she went around
The back and...
295
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,903
Broke in a window.
296
00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:16,661
And?
297
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:22,010
Oh, and, uh...
298
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:24,580
Then she went into
The locker room.
299
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,415
I just wanted to talk to him.
300
00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,884
Now they want to charge
Her with trespassing.
301
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,586
And it could cost me my job.
302
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,388
Don't worry, daddy.
I'll take care of you.
303
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,857
Don't call me daddy!
I am not your daddy!
304
00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:36,259
She's a ding-a-ling!
305
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:39,227
Okay. Nick, you want to
Take care of miss schnable?
306
00:13:39,251 --> 00:13:41,697
You ought to put
Her in a cotton box.
307
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,532
Mr. Claymore,
308
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:46,435
We would appreciate your
Patience and your cooperation.
309
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,771
She has been bugging
Me for a couple of weeks.
310
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,674
She's following me around,
Calling me, invading my privacy.
311
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,876
I mean, can't you guys
Keep her away from me?
312
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,711
Not unless you get
A restraining order.
313
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:58,102
That's it. I want one of them.
314
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:05,253
Detective wojciehowicz
Will be glad to help you.
315
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,890
Yeah, sit down, mr. Claymore.
316
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:09,925
She is not my kid.
317
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:12,160
I mean, there ain't
Even a resemblance.
318
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,952
Look... I ask you. Do
We look alike to you?
319
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,668
I'm the wrong person to ask.
320
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,837
Wojo: can I see
You, mr. Claymore?
321
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:33,682
Thanks a lot.
322
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,305
Stay right there.
323
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:40,956
Uh... Harris?
324
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:42,425
Yeah?
325
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,527
I want to say something to you
326
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,895
That I never thought I'd say.
327
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:48,997
Yeah?
328
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:50,821
Your dress is ready.
329
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:54,191
Thank you.
330
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:59,775
Are you gonna come back
Up and see us before you go?
331
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,999
As the mood strikes me.
332
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,716
Okay, mr. Claymore,
You got a middle name?
333
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:07,805
Franklin.
334
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:11,441
Yeah, that's right.
335
00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,726
All right. Date of birth.
336
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:19,728
- october 12th...
- october 12, 1925.
337
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,118
Hey.
338
00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:28,258
Social security number?
339
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:41,238
164-32-1989.
340
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:43,941
Thanks.
341
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,289
Next of kin?
342
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:48,713
None.
343
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,967
Harassment complaint,
Restraining order.
344
00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:02,004
This ought to keep miss
Schnable out of your hair
345
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,572
For quite a while.
346
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:06,041
Believe me, I don't
Like doing any of this,
347
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:07,475
But I am not her father.
348
00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:09,444
Mr. Claymore, whether or not...
349
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:11,546
Barney, he's not.
350
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:12,681
Not what?
351
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,784
I don't believe he's her father.
352
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:17,152
I mean, if what he
Told me is right,
353
00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:19,354
Then she must've
Screwed up somewhere
354
00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:20,656
With her papers and stuff.
355
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:21,957
I was in akron,
356
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:25,227
But I was in the v.A.
Hospital all that year.
357
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:27,830
Sure you didn't take
A few, uh, field trips
358
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,198
On the side?
359
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,833
I was a red-blooded, young guy,
360
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,168
And I wasn't chintzy
About spreading it around,
361
00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:34,770
But that was the
Year I was sick.
362
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,294
I had this infection, you know?
363
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,009
I lost a lot of my stamina,
If you get my meaning.
364
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,611
I get your meaning.
365
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:45,703
It was temporary, of course.
366
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,785
In any case, mr. Claymore,
Somehow or other,
367
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,654
Miss schnable is
Determined in her mind
368
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,188
That you are her father.
369
00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:55,323
Is that my problem?
370
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,092
No, mr. Claymore.
371
00:16:57,116 --> 00:17:00,729
You're not obligated in
Any way to miss schnable.
372
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,386
Not legally.
373
00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:05,901
I am not responsible
374
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,870
For all the orphans
Of the world.
375
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,159
Of course not.
376
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:15,332
Well... Maybe a couple.
377
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,483
You had a grandfather...
378
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:23,518
And a grandmother...
379
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,788
And a mother and a father.
380
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,389
Captain?
381
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:28,423
Hmm?
382
00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:30,425
You had a mother and a father.
383
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,227
Indeed.
384
00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:35,931
So, why shouldn't I have
A chance to have one?
385
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,632
Don't I rate a family?
386
00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:39,101
Of course you do,
387
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:41,236
But unfortunately, you
Can't go around assembling one
388
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,471
Like a model airplane.
389
00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:44,762
Why not?
390
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:49,945
It could be just
The two of us...
391
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:57,119
In a house... With a
Yard... And a dog...
392
00:17:57,143 --> 00:18:00,244
And sunday dinners.
393
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:11,700
Uh, take that down to the
Courthouse on center street.
394
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,758
You can get your
Restraining order.
395
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:16,894
Thanks.
396
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:21,009
I mean, they're not gonna
Lock her up, are they?
397
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:24,146
Not unless she
Violates the order
398
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:25,480
And tries to see you.
399
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:26,982
Okay.
400
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,984
'cause, you know,
She's not a mean kid.
401
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:31,253
She'd probably make
Some guy a nice daughter.
402
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,910
Probably.
403
00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:42,330
It could've been any
One of a dozen guys.
404
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:43,732
What's that?
405
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,434
That restaurant was
Right near the hospital.
406
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:49,004
I wasn't the only guy
That went out with sally.
407
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,338
Sally?
408
00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:54,143
Sally... The waitress
That she looks a little like.
409
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:55,432
Sort of.
410
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,382
You get my meaning?
411
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,117
I get your meaning.
412
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,385
Goodbye, lady.
413
00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:04,553
Teresa.
414
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,655
Yeah. Teresa.
415
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,512
Goodbye.
416
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,599
Listen, I'm thinking...
417
00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:19,501
I can straighten
Things out at the club.
418
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:21,804
You don't have to hold her
On that trespassing charge.
419
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,338
I'm sure it's gonna be okay.
420
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:25,707
Fine. Thank you.
421
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,398
So take care, huh?
422
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:32,347
You're free to go,
Too, miss schnable.
423
00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:34,404
We have your
Address if we need you.
424
00:19:45,484 --> 00:19:48,197
Oh, uh, your papers.
425
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,854
Don't forget your papers.
426
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,235
I don't want them.
427
00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:55,659
Throw them away.
428
00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:15,924
Listen, I'm thinking...
Give me your address.
429
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,826
We can keep in touch.
430
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:20,729
It's all right. You
Don't owe me anything.
431
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,231
I mean, you know,
Every once in a while,
432
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:23,866
I could drop you
A couple of lines.
433
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,769
You could send me a card,
You know, for father's day.
434
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:29,226
I mean, just for laughs.
435
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:33,141
That would be nice.
436
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:35,332
You need a lift?
437
00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:39,836
Thank you.
438
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:42,973
Thanks.
439
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,890
Do you remember
Much about my mother?
440
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:50,158
Hey, look, I, uh... You know.
441
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:51,960
Oh, yeah. No, I know.
442
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:55,163
It was a long time
Ago. Almost 30 years.
443
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:56,787
Yeah...
444
00:20:58,190 --> 00:20:59,589
And it was dark.
445
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:05,840
Captain, I got
Mr. Holly's bail ticket.
446
00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:07,932
Turn him loose.
447
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:11,947
All right. Right
This way, mr. Holly.
448
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:12,971
Thank you.
449
00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:17,819
That's mr. Science.
450
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:18,821
Yeah.
451
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,989
What's he doing here?
452
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:24,092
There was a fracas
In the tv studio.
453
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,128
He assaulted his assistant.
454
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:28,564
No kidding?
455
00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:32,601
I'm very sorry about
Everything that happened.
456
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,369
I appreciate your consideration.
457
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:35,804
Good luck to you, mr. Holly.
458
00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:36,972
Thank you.
459
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:39,096
Hi. Uh...
460
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,011
Uh, I've never missed your show.
461
00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:46,381
I beg your pardon? I
Don't believe we've met.
462
00:21:46,405 --> 00:21:50,351
Oh, sergeant
Wojciehowicz. 12th precinct.
463
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:53,288
You're the only
Guy on television
464
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,679
That ever sounded like he
Meant what he was saying.
465
00:21:57,517 --> 00:21:59,260
That's because I did.
466
00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:00,495
Yeah.
467
00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:03,766
And I didn't just
Watch. I did experiments.
468
00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:06,735
The baking soda and the motors.
469
00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:08,937
And the ant farm.
I had an ant farm.
470
00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:10,639
I hope you learned something.
471
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:11,807
Sure.
472
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:15,143
I watched your show
Every sunday for five years.
473
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,178
Why did you stop?
474
00:22:17,202 --> 00:22:19,347
Oh, well, I had to.
475
00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:21,238
I joined the marines.
476
00:22:22,742 --> 00:22:24,975
Now, that's a kid.
477
00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:38,221
I'll be checking
Back in around 6:00.
478
00:22:44,230 --> 00:22:45,773
Oh, listen.
479
00:22:45,797 --> 00:22:49,344
What I said to you about
Your moustache... Forget it.
480
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,613
I was just upset.
481
00:22:51,637 --> 00:22:53,037
Forgotten.
482
00:22:54,841 --> 00:22:56,473
I feel much better.
483
00:22:58,210 --> 00:22:59,721
You?
484
00:22:59,745 --> 00:23:01,212
Fine.
485
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:06,328
Uh, you got a little smudge.
486
00:23:06,352 --> 00:23:08,485
Oh. Thank you.
487
00:23:21,968 --> 00:23:23,979
Uh, go ahead, nick.
488
00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:25,881
Get all your clever
Little comments
489
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:27,149
Out of your system.
490
00:23:27,173 --> 00:23:29,484
You look lovely.
491
00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:33,989
It's true. You do.
492
00:23:34,013 --> 00:23:35,456
Hey, come on.
493
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:39,595
Believe me... You
Look fantastic.
494
00:23:39,619 --> 00:23:41,897
Well, I mean...
495
00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:43,932
I know I'm a man in a dress.
496
00:23:43,956 --> 00:23:45,500
Yeah.
497
00:23:45,524 --> 00:23:49,805
The object is to come across
As an attractive woman.
498
00:23:49,829 --> 00:23:53,308
Well, I mean, I want
To look good...
499
00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:55,165
But not better.
500
00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:01,038
See you guys later.
501
00:24:03,242 --> 00:24:05,821
Yes, dietrich?
502
00:24:05,845 --> 00:24:08,390
You ever see the movie laura?
503
00:24:08,414 --> 00:24:11,193
It's about a policeman
Who becomes fascinated
504
00:24:11,217 --> 00:24:12,795
By a woman he knows
He can never have.
505
00:24:12,819 --> 00:24:15,197
So?
506
00:24:15,221 --> 00:24:17,365
It's playing down the street.
507
00:24:17,389 --> 00:24:18,856
You want to see it tonight?
34549
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