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The first day of school.
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00:00:03,460 --> 00:00:05,830
When you're a kid,
it's the worst day of the year.
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00:00:05,950 --> 00:00:08,090
When you're a parent,
it's the Fourth of July,
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00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,020
New Year's Eve and your birthday
all rolled into one.
5
00:00:11,210 --> 00:00:14,660
In fact,I just some back-to-school supplies.
6
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You know,today's the first time in months
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that all the kids are going to be
out of the house at once.
8
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I know.
9
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What,you got allergies?
10
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,160
No,that's my sexy look.
11
00:00:33,690 --> 00:00:37,040
Oh. You probably didn't recognize it
without my trademark wiggle.
12
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Oh,yeah.
13
00:00:39,030 --> 00:00:40,760
Hell,you know what I'm talking about.
14
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You see how it goes this way,
15
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and then I bring it back that way.
16
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As much of a turn-on as that is,
17
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I can't be late for work.
18
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Neither can I.
19
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Which is why we're meeting
back here for a nooner.
20
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:53,370
What?
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00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:55,280
You have time to come home for sex,
22
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but you don't have time
to stop last night at the Costco?
23
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Well,I would have,
24
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if you had met me there and had sex with me.
25
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Noon,huh?
26
00:01:03,770 --> 00:01:05,020
Yep. Okay,I'm in.
27
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Oh,look how cute you look
your first day of high school.
28
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Cute? No,no,no, I don't need cute.
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I need cool.
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Do I look cool? Do I?
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Relax,you're going to be fine.
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Yeah,you're going to be fine.
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You're handsome, you're funny.
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You're just like me.
35
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Besides,you've got a girlfriend
36
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so you're miles ahead of
every other freshman.
37
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And some juniors.
38
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If anyone bothers you, just come find me.
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I know all the good hiding places.
40
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Yeah,um... look, about that,Larry.
41
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,570
Since we're going to be
in the same school together,
42
00:01:41,610 --> 00:01:43,380
let's go over the ground rules,okay?
43
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I don't know you, you don't know me.
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Got it?
45
00:01:48,490 --> 00:01:50,930
Aw,it seems like just yesterday
46
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I had the same conversation with Larry
on his first day of high school.
47
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Time really flies.
48
00:01:57,460 --> 00:01:59,720
Yeah,well, this is a new year.
49
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A clean slate.
50
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And I have decided to reinvent myself.
51
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I am changing my name.
52
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:06,820
Oh,come on, don't be an idiot,Larry.
53
00:02:07,050 --> 00:02:10,200
You mean, "Don't be an idiot,Gideon."
54
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,080
Gideon? You're going to change
your name to Gideon?
55
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Where they hell did you come up with that?
56
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* I'm G-I-D to the E-O-N *
57
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* I'm a star,I'm Gideon *
58
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* "G," who's that? *
59
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* "I" don't know,"D" duh, it's Gideon *
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* I'm Gideon *
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* "E"- gad,look there *
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* "O" so cool *
63
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* "N" now it's clear *
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* Gideon's here. *
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I don't know,I didn't
really give it muchchhought.
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Knock yourself out,kid.
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I'll see you later. Right.
68
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And don't be late.
69
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Otherwise I'm going to have to
start without you.
70
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Well,you usually finish without me.
71
00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:55,640
Where are you,Vicky?
72
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All right,well, don't be late.
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Every second that you're late,
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I'm deducting from the foreplay section.
75
00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:02,440
All right, I'll see you in a second.
76
00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:11,150
Wh-what the hell are you doing home?
77
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What are you doing home?
78
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And why are your pants not on?
79
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Uh,maybe we should go.
80
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Yeah,yeah,you know what,
get the hell out of here,
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you little juvenile delinquents.
82
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At least I'm wearing pants.
83
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Come here. No,come here.
84
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You cut the first day of school?
85
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The first day?
86
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Okay,hurry, I don't have a lot of time.
87
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Oh!
88
00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:41,260
She cut the first day of school?!
89
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That's gross.
90
00:03:45,770 --> 00:03:47,340
All right,all right, that's enough out of you.
91
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Go wait in the car.
92
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I'm driving you to school.
93
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I'll be there in 42 minutes.
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The thrill is gone.
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-=http://sfile.ydy.com=-
proudly presents
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sync:13wolf
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
97
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The War at Home
Season 02 Episode 01
"Back to school"
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So,how was your first day of school?
99
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It was great.
100
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,340
I mean,I don't know
what I was so worried about.
101
00:04:10,410 --> 00:04:11,960
I didn't even see Larry once.
102
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,380
I remember my first day of
high school like it was yesterday.
103
00:04:17,430 --> 00:04:21,150
Do you want to tell me
what this was doing in your locker?
104
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:27,310
Dude,your tie is,like,
really blue right now.
105
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The best part-
106
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there were all these hot new girls
there from the other junior high.
107
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Yeah,be careful there,prime time.
108
00:04:34,370 --> 00:04:36,520
You don't want to get
your girlfriend Heidi,jealous.
109
00:04:36,590 --> 00:04:38,280
Oh,Heidi's not going to be the problem,Dad.
110
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,240
Because I'm going to break up with her.
111
00:04:41,850 --> 00:04:43,550
Hey,honey,we got to talk about Hillary.
112
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Yeah,yeah,I know.
113
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,650
Hey,uh,did you know
114
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,770
that Mike is planning on
breaking up with Heidi?
115
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,790
No. I haven't had a chance to
read his MySpace page yet today.
116
00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:56,120
You know,I'm friends with her dad.
117
00:04:56,190 --> 00:04:58,480
You know,maybe I should
call him and give him a heads-up.
118
00:04:58,860 --> 00:04:59,610
Why?
119
00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:01,120
I like Jeff. He's funny
120
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,390
he's a good guy,you know,he's good at basketball,
121
00:05:03,460 --> 00:05:04,780
but you know,not as good as me.
122
00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:06,770
I like spending time with him.
123
00:05:06,850 --> 00:05:08,430
Oh,how cute.
124
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,720
You have a man crush.
125
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:13,690
What are you talking about?
126
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,730
You're afraid if Mike breaks up with Heidi,
127
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,270
Jeff will break up with you.
128
00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:19,650
Oh,don't be ridiculous. I don't have a man crush.
129
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I just like spending time with him.
130
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You know,he's a good guy.
131
00:05:22,610 --> 00:05:23,780
We have a good time together,and...
132
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He's got a really hot ass.
133
00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:27,160
I don't look at his ass.
134
00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:28,400
I don't know what it looks like.
135
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:29,730
It's not a man crush.
136
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:30,720
Weirdo.
137
00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:32,710
Do us all a favor
138
00:05:32,780 --> 00:05:34,370
and just stay out of Mike's business.
139
00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:36,270
I mean,one thing that our kids are really good at
140
00:05:36,350 --> 00:05:37,440
is screwing up their own lives.
141
00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:38,720
They don't need help from you.
142
00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:40,370
Except for Hillary.
143
00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:41,480
We've got to sit her down
144
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:42,900
and have a serious talk.
145
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She's a senior.
146
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:45,390
If she doesn't get it together,
147
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what kind of future is she going to have?
148
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,660
Okay,come here.
149
00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:55,010
Grandpa is going to take care of you. Yes.
150
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,980
Mama's got to go to work at the strip club.
151
00:05:58,050 --> 00:05:59,030
That's right-
152
00:05:59,140 --> 00:06:01,210
Mama's boobies aren't just for you.
153
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:02,390
No,they're not.
154
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,870
Mama's boobies are everyone's boobies.
155
00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:06,950
Oh,it's okay.
156
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:08,640
Oh,it's okay.
157
00:06:08,980 --> 00:06:11,900
Yes. See,I should have made her study more.
158
00:06:14,050 --> 00:06:16,010
Hey,Hill... Hey!
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What do you think you're doing?!
160
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Uh...
161
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:20,560
Uh...!
162
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I tell you to stay in your room and you sneak out?
163
00:06:24,430 --> 00:06:26,760
Actually,I wasn't sneaking out,
164
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,910
I was sneaking back in.
165
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:32,010
But they don't need to know that.
166
00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:36,020
You know,maybe if you started buckling down
instead of screwing up
167
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you could do something with your life.
168
00:06:37,350 --> 00:06:39,040
Unless you want to grow up to be a stripper.
169
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,320
But if you do,let me tell you something,
170
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,350
you'd better find a strip club that has day care
171
00:06:42,390 --> 00:06:44,270
'cause I'm not babysitting for you.
172
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,310
I though you weren't supposed to leave your room.
173
00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:55,050
Oh,I thought you weren't supposed to be such a huge dork
174
00:06:55,130 --> 00:06:56,560
now that you've reinvented yourself...
175
00:06:56,630 --> 00:06:57,540
Gidget.
176
00:06:59,190 --> 00:07:01,260
Gideon. I'm Gideon.
177
00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:06,100
What are you doing out of your room?
178
00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:07,720
You know what,that's it.
179
00:07:07,830 --> 00:07:09,720
I'm taking away your BlackBerry,your Blueberry
180
00:07:09,790 --> 00:07:11,000
the whole fruit bowl.
181
00:07:11,070 --> 00:07:15,100
All right,now go upstairs and don't come down until I tell you to.
182
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:16,800
Roll your eyes at me one more time,
183
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I'm taking those away,too.
184
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,350
You know,maybe you should think about changing your name,
185
00:07:23,420 --> 00:07:24,480
'cause "Dad" doesn't seem
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00:07:24,630 --> 00:07:27,180
to be getting too much respect around here.
187
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:33,210
Mike,let me ask you a question.
188
00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:37,150
Why are you breaking up with Heidi anyway?
189
00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:38,020
I don't know.
190
00:07:38,649 --> 00:07:39,536
You don't know?
191
00:07:39,856 --> 00:07:43,944
That seems like a crappy reason to end a
relationship with a very, very nice girl.
192
00:07:44,834 --> 00:07:49,467
Look, if you must know, okay,
it's been three months
193
00:07:49,534 --> 00:07:51,467
and I haven't even gotten
to second base.
194
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,568
Not even over the shirt?
195
00:07:57,675 --> 00:07:58,451
All right, well, well,
196
00:07:58,451 --> 00:07:59,467
look, here's the thing.
197
00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:00,846
All right, what's the rush?
198
00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:04,876
I mean, you know how long it took me
to get to second base with your mother?
199
00:08:06,601 --> 00:08:09,162
What'd you say your name
was again, sweetheart?
200
00:08:10,822 --> 00:08:12,900
Look, Dad, please,
just leave me along, okay?
201
00:08:12,935 --> 00:08:14,899
I already made up my mind.
I'm breaking up with her.
202
00:08:14,899 --> 00:08:16,849
Fine, fine. Whatever.
203
00:08:16,968 --> 00:08:19,133
I'm just letting you know
that it's a proven fact
204
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,667
that the longer you stay
with somebody
205
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,968
the harder it is
for her to say no to you.
206
00:08:25,199 --> 00:08:28,404
- Hey, Vick, grab me a soda.
- Nah, get it yourself.
207
00:08:29,687 --> 00:08:32,958
Shut up. At least I'm getting
to second base tonight.
208
00:08:40,501 --> 00:08:42,934
No, it's just, you know, I'm
really worried about Hillary.
209
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:45,370
I mean, what if she doesn't
get into college, right?
210
00:08:45,405 --> 00:08:47,400
I mean, I've got to figure out
a way to get through to her.
211
00:08:49,565 --> 00:08:50,589
Game.
212
00:08:52,961 --> 00:08:55,202
You know, maybe college isn't
the end-all, be-all anyway.
213
00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:59,112
The only thing I learned in college
was that drunk, fat girls are easy.
214
00:08:59,767 --> 00:09:02,534
Valuable lesson, but not
worth ten grand a semester.
215
00:09:03,296 --> 00:09:06,400
That's true, Jeff.
That's true.
216
00:09:07,282 --> 00:09:09,557
So Heidi's birthday is next Friday
217
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:11,749
and we're surprising her
with Green Day tickets.
218
00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:14,803
I was going through her e-mails, and I
found out that's what she really wanted.
219
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:15,356
Yeah?
220
00:09:15,356 --> 00:09:16,701
Well, that and me dead.
221
00:09:18,314 --> 00:09:20,190
Wow, man, you're going
to make me look bad.
222
00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:23,654
You know, for Mike's birthday, we just
let him pick the toppings for his pizza.
223
00:09:24,926 --> 00:09:27,434
Uh, by the way, we want Mike
to come to the concert, too.
224
00:09:31,286 --> 00:09:33,369
Look, if I tell you something
you, uh...
225
00:09:33,878 --> 00:09:36,024
you promise it won't
affect our friendship?
226
00:09:36,502 --> 00:09:38,507
What am I, a girl?
227
00:09:39,399 --> 00:09:41,128
Listen, um...
228
00:09:41,299 --> 00:09:42,239
Mike's, um...
229
00:09:42,737 --> 00:09:44,736
he's planning on breaking up with Heidi.
230
00:09:44,736 --> 00:09:46,969
- He's breaking up with her?
- Yeah.
231
00:09:47,649 --> 00:09:49,309
- That sucks.
- Yeah.
232
00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:53,918
But we're good, right?
233
00:09:55,186 --> 00:09:56,309
Oh, no.
234
00:09:57,234 --> 00:10:00,088
Maybe I do have a man crush.
235
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,244
- Where you been?
- I was with Heidi.
236
00:10:07,712 --> 00:10:09,019
I hope you let her down easy.
237
00:10:09,215 --> 00:10:10,890
Uh, actually, no.
I changed my mind-
238
00:10:10,965 --> 00:10:11,900
I'm not breaking up with her.
239
00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:13,033
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
240
00:10:13,109 --> 00:10:15,589
W- W-What do you mean you're
not breaking up with her?
241
00:10:16,010 --> 00:10:18,765
Well, I thought about what you said
and you made some really good points.
242
00:10:18,823 --> 00:10:20,766
Me? Nah, come on,
I don't know anything.
243
00:10:20,861 --> 00:10:22,454
I don't know anything
about relationships.
244
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:26,320
If you don't believe me, go ask your
mother, or any other woman I've known.
245
00:10:27,334 --> 00:10:30,016
If you've ever been involved
in a relationship with Dave Gold
246
00:10:30,016 --> 00:10:31,878
call the number
at the bottom of the screen.
247
00:10:31,942 --> 00:10:33,784
You may be entitled
to compensation.
248
00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:35,603
Se habla Espanol.
249
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:38,309
Look, Dad, I thoug
you'd be happy about this.
250
00:10:38,309 --> 00:10:39,196
Well, I'm not.
251
00:10:39,375 --> 00:10:40,970
If you say you're going
to break up with her,
252
00:10:40,970 --> 00:10:42,427
I expect you to break
with her.
253
00:10:42,427 --> 00:10:45,349
Now go upstairs and call her
and kick her to the curb.
254
00:10:46,528 --> 00:10:48,367
What, do you have money
on this, Dad?
255
00:10:49,410 --> 00:10:51,138
Why do you suddenly care?
256
00:10:51,138 --> 00:10:52,790
Because, Mike, because.
257
00:10:52,856 --> 00:10:55,250
This is indicative
of a much bigger problem.
258
00:10:55,295 --> 00:10:56,825
This is a commitment issue.
259
00:10:57,001 --> 00:10:58,491
If you say you're going
to make a commitment,
260
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,150
I expect you to stick to it.
261
00:11:01,279 --> 00:11:03,936
I'm not breaking up with her,
Dad, okay?
262
00:11:03,986 --> 00:11:05,671
Leave me alone now.
263
00:11:06,835 --> 00:11:08,952
Fine. Fine, fine.
264
00:11:08,987 --> 00:11:10,467
Have it your way...
265
00:11:11,133 --> 00:11:12,358
quitter.
266
00:11:16,367 --> 00:11:17,548
Hey, Jeff. Dave here.
267
00:11:17,548 --> 00:11:19,414
Listen, we-we got a situation.
268
00:11:19,905 --> 00:11:20,681
Yeah.
269
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,336
No, there's been a little...
270
00:11:22,488 --> 00:11:24,241
a little bit
of a misunderstanding.
271
00:11:25,694 --> 00:11:26,749
What's all that noise?
272
00:11:26,749 --> 00:11:29,856
It's Heidi- she's not
taking the news so well.
273
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,503
Uh, can I call
you back, Dave?
274
00:11:32,534 --> 00:11:33,703
Yeah. No, that's fine.
275
00:11:33,703 --> 00:11:36,646
That's-that's fine.
You tell Mike
276
00:11:36,681 --> 00:11:39,609
that I am going to make
his life a living hell.
277
00:11:39,609 --> 00:11:42,069
He has screwed
with the wrong girl.
278
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,395
Okay, okay, sweetie,
I'll give him the message.
279
00:11:45,456 --> 00:11:47,564
Hey, hey, do me a favor, Heidi,
ask your father
280
00:11:47,599 --> 00:11:49,384
if we're still on for golf
tomorrow because I want...
281
00:11:49,384 --> 00:11:50,709
Hello?
282
00:11:51,542 --> 00:11:52,792
Hello?
283
00:11:53,657 --> 00:11:55,035
Hey, Mike, listen, uh,
284
00:11:55,035 --> 00:11:56,726
there's something
I need to tell you.
285
00:12:02,501 --> 00:12:04,942
Have a good day
at school tomorrow.
286
00:12:10,201 --> 00:12:11,401
Why would you tell Jeff
287
00:12:11,467 --> 00:12:13,354
that Mike is breaking up
with Heidi?
288
00:12:13,434 --> 00:12:15,401
- I got lost in the moment.
- Really?
289
00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:18,053
Are you sure you didn't
get lost in his eyes?
290
00:12:19,234 --> 00:12:20,253
What was I supposed to do?
291
00:12:20,253 --> 00:12:22,339
One minute Mike says
he's breaking up with her,
292
00:12:22,339 --> 00:12:23,461
and the next minute, he's not?
293
00:12:23,461 --> 00:12:24,891
I mean, wh-what's with that?
294
00:12:24,891 --> 00:12:26,354
Honey, they're just kids.
295
00:12:26,893 --> 00:12:28,865
Nah. Besides, everybody in the course of a relationship
296
00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:31,033
thinks about breaking up at one point or another
297
00:12:31,068 --> 00:12:32,501
you don't actually go through with it.
298
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:35,222
No, they don't.
I haven't. You haven't.
299
00:12:38,501 --> 00:12:40,919
What, you've actually thought
about breaking up with me?
300
00:12:41,167 --> 00:12:43,067
Honey, I share a bathroom
with you.
301
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:46,452
I think about breaking up
with you every morning.
302
00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:50,100
No, no, seriously, tell me, have you
actually thought about breaking up with me?
303
00:12:50,135 --> 00:12:52,966
Because I can't think of one reason why
anyone would want to break up with me.
304
00:12:54,095 --> 00:12:55,966
Trust me, there have been situations.
305
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:56,900
Yeah? Well, tell me one.
306
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:59,029
How about the time when I
was pregnant with Hillary,
307
00:12:59,129 --> 00:13:01,595
and my water broke,
and your first instinct was
308
00:13:01,595 --> 00:13:04,661
to criticize me because I ruined
the upholstery of your Camaro.
309
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,929
It was a new car!
310
00:13:08,759 --> 00:13:10,677
I- I can't believe
you stand there
311
00:13:10,677 --> 00:13:13,027
and you look at me and
you actually had fantasies
312
00:13:13,027 --> 00:13:14,496
about leaving me
and the kids.
313
00:13:14,496 --> 00:13:16,546
No, no, not the kids;
just you.
314
00:13:17,395 --> 00:13:19,016
Oh. Okay.
315
00:13:19,510 --> 00:13:23,768
Well, what we have here is evidence of
some very hostile feelings towards me.
316
00:13:23,834 --> 00:13:25,800
- Come on. You never once
- No, come on.
317
00:13:25,867 --> 00:13:27,100
thought about
breaking up with me?
318
00:13:27,167 --> 00:13:29,357
No. I'm in this for
the ng haul, baby.
319
00:13:29,357 --> 00:13:31,908
I said "Till death do us part,"
and that's what I meant.
320
00:13:36,969 --> 00:13:39,929
Ladies, please, please,
have some respect, okay?
321
00:13:39,964 --> 00:13:41,823
The coffin's still open.
322
00:13:46,030 --> 00:13:47,656
Now, where were we?
323
00:13:48,415 --> 00:13:49,637
Oh, yeah.
324
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:56,200
Oh, hey. Pour me a cup.
325
00:13:56,267 --> 00:13:57,602
And if I don't, what are you gonna do,
326
00:13:57,602 --> 00:13:58,760
break up with me?
327
00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:01,534
How about now?
What about now?
328
00:14:01,601 --> 00:14:02,768
Ha-ha! What about now?
329
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:04,267
Ha-ha, ha-ha!
330
00:14:07,299 --> 00:14:10,274
Okay... I think you should
give me my phone back.
331
00:14:10,678 --> 00:14:12,854
I've really been thinking a lot
about what you said
332
00:14:12,854 --> 00:14:16,388
about school and college
and my future and everything.
333
00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:18,423
That's good. And what
conclusion did you come to?
334
00:14:18,423 --> 00:14:20,037
Yeah, what conclusion,
sweetie?
335
00:14:21,524 --> 00:14:22,964
That you guys worry way too much.
336
00:14:22,965 --> 00:14:25,826
I mean, you just need to chill
out, because I'll be fine.
337
00:14:26,601 --> 00:14:28,223
I'll be fine.
338
00:14:29,045 --> 00:14:30,267
You're not getting your phone back.
339
00:14:30,334 --> 00:14:32,301
Yeah, or your Side Tooth.
340
00:14:35,005 --> 00:14:36,734
I- I don't know
where she gets it.
341
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,906
I don't understand, I mean,
we set a good example,
342
00:14:38,906 --> 00:14:41,322
we go to work every day,
we pay our bills on time.
343
00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:44,035
It's got to be her, because there's
nothing wrong with the other two.
344
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:47,334
* I'm G-I-D to the E-O-N,
I'm a star! *
345
00:14:47,401 --> 00:14:49,134
* I'm Gideon,
I'm Gideon... *
346
00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:50,980
Hey, hey!
347
00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:53,750
What are you wearing?
Is that my scarf?
348
00:14:53,991 --> 00:14:56,434
No. It's an ascot.
349
00:14:57,001 --> 00:14:59,761
* I'm G-I-D to the E-O-N,
I'm a star! *
350
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,398
Well, the "ass" part
sounds about right.
351
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:10,886
Hey-hey-hey, boss.
352
00:15:11,231 --> 00:15:12,034
How was, uh..
353
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:14,287
how was the, uh, regional
managers' meeting?
354
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,435
It ended early.
355
00:15:17,301 --> 00:15:18,768
I- I could see that.
356
00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:20,434
Look, Dave...
357
00:15:20,966 --> 00:15:23,373
I think we should have
a little talk.
358
00:15:24,461 --> 00:15:25,806
Do we have to?
359
00:15:26,401 --> 00:15:27,648
Dave.
360
00:15:27,845 --> 00:15:29,900
Okay, fine, fine, fine.
361
00:15:29,967 --> 00:15:31,167
Look...
362
00:15:31,354 --> 00:15:32,763
we both know
you have the ability,
363
00:15:32,763 --> 00:15:35,434
but let's face it,
you don't put in enough effort.
364
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,342
You really need
to buckle down, Dave.
365
00:15:37,377 --> 00:15:39,958
We're talking about
your future here.
366
00:15:41,634 --> 00:15:43,961
Why does this speech
sound so familiar?
367
00:15:46,333 --> 00:15:47,770
Oh, no.
368
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:51,585
Look, um, I think I've been
putting too much pressure on you
369
00:15:51,585 --> 00:15:54,253
with all this talk
about grades and college.
370
00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:56,842
You know, I think we need
to lower the bar a little.
371
00:15:57,567 --> 00:15:58,969
Where's this coming from?
372
00:15:59,644 --> 00:16:01,650
Let's just say I had a
little realization today.
373
00:16:01,885 --> 00:16:02,968
You see...
374
00:16:02,968 --> 00:16:05,121
you're pretty much lazy
and unmotivated
375
00:16:05,156 --> 00:16:06,765
and you don't follow through
on things,
376
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,049
and basically, well...
you're me.
377
00:16:11,416 --> 00:16:12,623
I'm you?
378
00:16:12,668 --> 00:16:13,768
Carbon copy.
379
00:16:13,833 --> 00:16:15,067
But you'll be okay.
380
00:16:15,134 --> 00:16:16,588
You know, you'll skate by.
381
00:16:16,623 --> 00:16:18,641
You know, you'll get a job
in insurance,
382
00:16:18,676 --> 00:16:20,585
you know, like me.
383
00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:22,756
It's not glamorous
or exciting,
384
00:16:23,123 --> 00:16:25,115
but, you know, if I could
do it, you can do it.
385
00:16:25,115 --> 00:16:26,551
'Cause, well,
you're...
386
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,525
Like you?
387
00:16:30,272 --> 00:16:31,792
Exactly.
388
00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:33,201
Oh, my God,
389
00:16:33,236 --> 00:16:34,729
if I don't get my act together
390
00:16:34,730 --> 00:16:37,676
I'm gonna end up with a
bald spot and a beer gut.
391
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,410
- Where are you going?
- To study!
392
00:16:47,859 --> 00:16:48,734
Hey.
393
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,460
Hey, hey, Mike.
How you doing?
394
00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:51,907
How do you think I'm doing?
395
00:16:53,654 --> 00:16:55,054
Good?
396
00:16:56,034 --> 00:16:57,367
Heidi broke up with me, Dad.
397
00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:58,961
How could you do that to me?
398
00:16:59,765 --> 00:17:01,096
You know, I was
in a bad position, you know?
399
00:17:01,263 --> 00:17:02,755
I- I didn't want Jeff
to be mad at me.
400
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,929
Oh, I get it- so you chose
Heidi's father over me.
401
00:17:06,301 --> 00:17:07,701
Don't judge.
402
00:17:07,833 --> 00:17:11,664
At my age, it's easier to make
a new kid than a new friend.
403
00:17:12,668 --> 00:17:14,833
She trashed me to
every girl in school.
404
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:18,265
Thanks to you, Larry's gonna do
better with girls than I am.
405
00:17:18,401 --> 00:17:20,437
His name's Gideon!
406
00:17:24,867 --> 00:17:26,876
- What?
- Can I talk to you?
407
00:17:26,876 --> 00:17:28,565
- I have nothing to say to you.
- Please, come on,
408
00:17:28,565 --> 00:17:31,634
don't I deserve a chance
to explain myself? Please?
409
00:17:31,701 --> 00:17:33,206
Fine.
410
00:17:33,441 --> 00:17:34,705
You got two minutes.
411
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,601
Okay, listen, Heidi, look,
412
00:17:37,668 --> 00:17:41,182
this is the thing, I mean,
look, this whole thing,
413
00:17:41,182 --> 00:17:42,792
this is all my fault.
414
00:17:42,792 --> 00:17:45,585
You see, what happened
was is, your father,
415
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:47,234
he wanted to get Mike
an extra ticket
416
00:17:47,301 --> 00:17:49,530
for the Green Day concert
for your birthday.
417
00:17:49,530 --> 00:17:51,021
They're taking me
to see Green Day?
418
00:17:51,734 --> 00:17:54,731
Oh, yeah, it was kind of
goa be a surprise.
419
00:17:55,618 --> 00:17:58,104
He read that's what you
really want in your e-mails.
420
00:17:58,183 --> 00:18:00,539
He reads my e-mails?!
421
00:18:00,639 --> 00:18:02,034
That's neither
here nor there.
422
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:04,601
The point is, is that,
you know, you and Mike,
423
00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:05,976
you guys are good, you know?
424
00:18:05,976 --> 00:18:09,076
It was a mistake, u know,
but he changed his mind.
425
00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:11,388
Well, that's too bad-
I can't trust him anymore.
426
00:18:11,388 --> 00:18:12,839
He ruined everything.
427
00:18:12,947 --> 00:18:14,768
So that's it? Huh?
428
00:18:14,833 --> 00:18:16,401
This is all his fault?
429
00:18:17,290 --> 00:18:18,401
Let me tell you
something, sweetie.
430
00:18:18,467 --> 00:18:21,239
Relationships are
a two-way street, you know?
431
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:24,100
You know, maybe you need to take
some responsibility for this, too.
432
00:18:24,595 --> 00:18:26,860
- I didn't do anything wrong.
- Really?
433
00:18:26,953 --> 00:18:29,393
You're in high school now. Huh?
434
00:18:29,393 --> 00:18:32,311
I mean, does second base
really have to be off the table?
435
00:18:33,167 --> 00:18:35,589
I am not comfortable
discussing this with you.
436
00:18:36,235 --> 00:18:37,650
Listen, Heidi, he has...
437
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,376
he has very, very strong
feelings for you.
438
00:18:39,376 --> 00:18:41,035
Very, very strong.
439
00:18:41,434 --> 00:18:43,451
- He said that?
- Yeah, he said that.
440
00:18:43,518 --> 00:18:44,302
He has a lot of feelings-
441
00:18:44,302 --> 00:18:46,684
I mean, I think it might
even be love.
442
00:18:47,291 --> 00:18:48,519
- Really?
- Yeah.
443
00:18:49,751 --> 00:18:52,819
Well, what do you say? Come on, just
let's give him one more chance, please?
444
00:18:53,134 --> 00:18:55,772
Well... okay, I guess so.
445
00:18:55,892 --> 00:18:58,601
Good, good. I'm so glad
we straightened this out.
446
00:18:58,668 --> 00:19:01,075
I feel so much better,
don't you?
447
00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:04,851
Dave?
448
00:19:11,075 --> 00:19:13,747
What the hell are you doing
with my daughter?
449
00:19:16,134 --> 00:19:18,388
Anyone out there
want to be my friend?
450
00:19:20,188 --> 00:19:21,533
anybody?
451
00:19:29,006 --> 00:19:30,891
Hey, Dave, did you pick up
the dry cleaning?
452
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,100
And what if I didn't?
453
00:19:32,167 --> 00:19:34,207
What are you gonna do,
break up with me?
454
00:19:35,248 --> 00:19:37,080
All right,
enough is enough.
455
00:19:37,505 --> 00:19:39,046
Get over here. You listen to me.
456
00:19:39,634 --> 00:19:43,718
I am never, ever
gonna break up with you.
457
00:19:43,753 --> 00:19:45,707
You're the love of my life.
458
00:19:45,968 --> 00:19:46,950
Oh.
459
00:19:47,975 --> 00:19:49,483
So what you're saying is,
460
00:19:49,968 --> 00:19:53,027
you have a man crash on me.
461
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:55,753
Absolutely, honey.
462
00:19:58,558 --> 00:19:59,601
Hi, Dad.
463
00:19:59,667 --> 00:20:02,102
Uh-uh-uh,
I forgot to tell you,
464
00:20:02,137 --> 00:20:03,628
my name's no longer "Dad. "
465
00:20:03,628 --> 00:20:06,451
From now on, my name's
"Let Me Get You a Beer. "
466
00:20:07,812 --> 00:20:09,745
That way every time you see me,
you can say, "Hi,
467
00:20:09,801 --> 00:20:11,134
Let Me Get You a Beer. "
468
00:20:13,878 --> 00:20:16,434
For your information,
I'm not Gideon anymore.
469
00:20:16,501 --> 00:20:20,000
It turns out there's this Israeli
transfer student named Gideon,
470
00:20:20,067 --> 00:20:22,066
and he thought I
was mocking him,
471
00:20:22,101 --> 00:20:24,440
so he kind of...
472
00:20:24,475 --> 00:20:26,406
kicked my ascot.
473
00:20:27,332 --> 00:20:30,107
Oh, well, you know what,
to tell you the truth,
474
00:20:30,142 --> 00:20:33,451
you know, I was, uh,
actually missing the old Larry.
475
00:20:33,486 --> 00:20:35,189
Really?
Thanks, Dad.
476
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,567
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
477
00:20:36,634 --> 00:20:40,525
Thanks, Let Me
Get You a Beer.
478
00:20:41,355 --> 00:20:43,531
I would love one.
479
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,326
Hey, Mike, I got great news.
480
00:20:47,361 --> 00:20:49,302
Get ready to not be mad
at me anymore.
481
00:20:49,337 --> 00:20:51,167
- Oh, I'm not mad at you now.
- You're not?
482
00:20:51,234 --> 00:20:53,367
Nah, it turns out all the
girls felt really bad for me,
483
00:20:53,434 --> 00:20:55,234
and they said Heidi
didn't deserve me.
484
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:58,000
Long story short,
I got a new girlfriend.
485
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,035
We already went to second.
486
00:21:02,434 --> 00:21:04,334
During study hall.
487
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,520
Oh-ho-ho, I love high school!
488
00:21:08,864 --> 00:21:09,934
A new girlfriend?
489
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,834
That-that... that's great!
490
00:21:11,901 --> 00:21:13,300
Yeah. It is.
491
00:21:13,367 --> 00:21:14,701
So, uh,
492
00:21:14,767 --> 00:21:16,300
what did you want to tell me?
493
00:21:18,285 --> 00:21:20,200
Have a good day
at school tomorrow.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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