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1
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HE WHISPERS
2
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:07,600
SHE GIGGLES
3
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,080
Jill, could you pass the pepper,
please?
4
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,680
Sorry, Cathy, no.
5
00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:20,280
It's too heavy for me, Cathy.
6
00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,360
Oh...
7
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,200
Don?
8
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Don...
9
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Don.
10
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Pepper. Oh.
11
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,080
Are you OK, Jill?
12
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:49,320
I'm fine, Sue. Please ignore me.
13
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,520
Oh...
14
00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:08,000
It was a triumph. Thank you!
15
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,360
Thanks!
16
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,160
Oh, dear! Oh! Oh, God.
17
00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:26,400
Oh, I...hope there was nothing wrong
with the trout.
18
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Was a bit tough.
19
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:29,800
Oh, dear.
20
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,720
Trout's...a hard one to get right.
21
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,920
I'm pregnant, Sue.
22
00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:40,800
Oh! Oh!
23
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,240
I was raped.
24
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:44,800
Oh, dear.
25
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,120
By Bruce.
26
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:57,280
This programme contains
some scenes of a sexual nature.
27
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:34,800
So...Jill...when did this happen
with Bruce?
28
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,680
Many, many times, Sue.
29
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,560
He even entered my anus, Arno.
30
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,440
Oh, Jill!
31
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:47,000
He's a 12-year-old boy!
I've got video evidence, Cath.
I'd like to see it.
32
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,640
Tape's in the player, Sue.
33
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:53,520
Jill, I'd like you to have
a DNA test.
34
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,960
Deform my unborn foetus?
35
00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:00,160
- I'm sure Cath would...
- wait until it's born.
36
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:03,000
And then deform it?! Oh!
37
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,040
SPLASH!
38
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:23,400
Catherine, your jug seems...kind of
full today. What's...eating you?
39
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,000
Well...
40
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:30,360
the accusation
that my son is a rapist!
41
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,320
Well, hey...
42
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:40,520
..we've all been...kinda forceful
at times. He's 12 years old!
43
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:46,680
12.
44
00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,560
13...
45
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,680
21.
46
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,520
42.
47
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,720
7.
48
00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,320
Zero.
49
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,920
6.
50
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,120
One hundred.
51
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,400
Two.
52
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,200
18.
53
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,320
2,000.
54
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,360
30.
55
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,640
Five.
56
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,480
These are just numbers.
57
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,480
Yes.
58
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,120
Four.
59
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,120
11.
60
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,440
16...
61
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Please!
62
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,280
Sorry.
63
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:42,680
Catherine, I'd...
64
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,480
I'd like you to hold the anger ball.
65
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,920
Now...
66
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,880
Bruce is a sexual being.
67
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:03,480
Most young men have been pleasuring
the lingam since toddlehood.
68
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:10,400
I'm sure you had some young fun
with your yoni. I've never...! You
must remember Floella's background.
69
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,600
- She was brought up in a tribe.
- She was not brought up in a tribe!
70
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:18,800
Catherine, I'd like you
to move over to the rage rug.
71
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,440
OK.
72
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,440
Now...
73
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,680
LET it go!
74
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,600
Just...really let it fly.
75
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,360
I think life is...
76
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,400
pretty bloomin'...
77
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:06,800
SMELLY!
78
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,640
Jill, he's a 12-year-old boy!
79
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:25,440
- Cathy, he's been making sperm since the day he was born.
- He's probably cooking up a little pop now.
80
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,600
He's at Cubs, Jill. Ca-ath!
81
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:34,320
- Jill, are you absolutely sure you had no part in this?
- I'm absolutely certain, Sue.
82
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:37,480
I was like a useless rag doll. Why?
83
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,920
I was tired. Oh.
84
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:43,120
- A LITTLE bit flattered.
- Bruce is ever so handsome.
85
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:46,440
And certainly more so than Don,
Arno.
86
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,880
Don's aged really quite badly.
87
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,520
Mmm.
88
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,560
Look, Jill,
89
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,960
there are...alternatives.
90
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:58,120
Don's thinking of having
a face-lift?
91
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:01,440
No - I-I'm talking about
a termination.
92
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,920
SHE SOBS
Oh, Cath!
93
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,640
I'm just trying to do the right thing!
DOOR SHUTS
94
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,360
One must always ask
95
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:20,000
what would Jesus do
in this situation, Catherine?
96
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,200
Hmm.
97
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:27,720
CHORAL MASS PLAYS
98
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:34,880
- Bless you, Cath.
- Sorry to be such a burden.
99
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,960
- I wish I was dead.
- Don't be silly, Jill.
100
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,680
Now, can I get you anything? No.
101
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:49,000
Get on with your life, Cath.
102
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:55,920
Um... Are you...all right?
Are you in any pain?
103
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,480
Absolutely riddled.
104
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,960
Really bad, Cath.
105
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,680
PAINED HISSES
106
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,720
Okey-doke.
107
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,520
KNOCK AT DOOR
108
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,200
Come in.
109
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:25,200
I, er...wondered if we could just...
have a little chat. Bruce.
110
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,200
About...
111
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,240
the birds and, um...
112
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:31,960
and the bees.
113
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,520
About owls and stuff?
114
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,920
Mmm.
115
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,760
Cos, you know...
116
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,440
Bruce, when, um...
117
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:46,000
when animals love each other
very much, they...
118
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,680
like to...make whoopee.
119
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,120
Oh, whoopee cushions.
120
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:54,680
..Not quite as noisy as a...
121
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,560
Well, it...
122
00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:58,360
Uh...
123
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,040
When animals get...
124
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,800
excited,
125
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,520
they...they...they need to...
126
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,880
pop that excitement.
127
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,720
In, in a...
128
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:16,160
The thing is, Bruce, you know,
we're ALL animals.
129
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,600
Oh? Am I an animal?
130
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,360
I hope not.
131
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,840
GRUNTS AND MOANS >
132
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MOANS ACCELERATE
133
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,600
JILL SCREAMS
134
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,640
Jillian...
135
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,680
Jillian!
136
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,520
JILLIAN!
137
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,840
Oh, I'm sorry.
138
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,120
Oh!
139
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,960
I'm so parched, Sue!
140
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:22,000
I did tell her I was thirsty.
141
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,040
Could I just have a sip of...water
142
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:28,160
or a cup of cold tea or something?
143
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:31,480
- Jill needs a drink of tea.
- Yes. Cup of tea, fine..
144
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:34,320
OK. There is, um...
145
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:37,440
there is a basin there, Jill,
you know, if you need water...
146
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,080
Cathy, I can't even sit up.
147
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,200
I'm so sorry, Cath.
148
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,840
Maybe I should just hang myself.
149
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:52,920
Jill, please, I...
I'll get you a cup of tea.
150
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,000
Or a cappuccino if you have one,
Cath.
151
00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,360
Yes, that's...a bit tricky.
152
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,200
Baby likes a cappuccino.
153
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,760
Is there a...
154
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:07,000
a Starbucks nearby, Cath?
155
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,160
Jill, the nearest one is Exeter.
156
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,640
Right...
157
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,760
C... C... Cathy!
158
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,920
Yes, Jill?
159
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,720
Could baby have a biscuit?
160
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,040
..Right-oh.
161
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,080
Oh, bless you, Cathy!
162
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:34,360
CATHY! Yes, Jill? Yes, yes!
163
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,600
Yes, Jill?
164
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,240
A Twix would be nice.
165
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,160
For dipping.
166
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,720
WATER DRIPS ECHO
167
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,040
CHITTERING SQUEAKS >
168
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,280
TOILET FLUSHES
169
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I don't think Cathy believes me,
Vicar Arno.
170
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,720
She just needs to be sure, Jill.
171
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,240
Please,
172
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,760
think back.
173
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,760
Have you HAD any other...
174
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,440
..sexual relations?
175
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:34,120
I did suck off my cousin once.
176
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Yeah...but any other?
177
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Bless you, Vicar Arno-
178
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,760
I know I look very young, but...
179
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:47,840
there have been one or two others.
180
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,480
Mmm. OK.
181
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,040
But Arno,
182
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:53,960
Bruce was like a...
183
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,040
OK.
184
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,680
Easy, now.
185
00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:59,720
Cath's just...
186
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,200
- so full of hate.
- DOOR OPENS
187
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,200
Lovely cup of tea!
188
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,960
Bless you, Cathy.
189
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,600
I can't. Oh.
190
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,560
The potty's virtually bubbling over.
191
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,360
Right.
192
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:21,880
Jill, um... Do you think you could
keep the potty just for number ones?
193
00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:28,040
I would, Cathy, but when baby
decides it's time to go, baby goes.
194
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:32,880
Yeah...it's not really baby, though,
is it? It's...you.
195
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:36,080
Baby makes a sizeable contribution,
Cathy.
196
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:41,080
Right, well, I'll empty it.
Just this once.
197
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,280
Oh, Jill...
198
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,920
I asked you to keep it covered up,
199
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:49,440
but I really didn't mean
with my Angora jumper.
200
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:53,800
Sorry, Cathy, I thought
they were all looking at me.
201
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,280
Right, I'll...
202
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,200
Oh, Cath? Yes. Could you be quite
quick, please?
203
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:02,480
I think there might be another one
or two on the way. Right, er, well,
204
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:07,080
should I just wait? You're welcome
if you want to watch, everybody.
205
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,520
Oh. Right.
206
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,280
I mean, when you're in bed
207
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,920
and you've got this huge bump,
208
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:59,480
do you...do you...? I don't know...
209
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:03,680
Do you hold on
to the bedhead or Don?
210
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,080
When you turn over?
211
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:09,760
Oh! Sorry!
212
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:15,160
Erm...
I just lie on my back, usually.
213
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,440
Ooh!
214
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,320
WHIRRING
215
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,160
Sorry to disturb you all.
216
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,680
Please just ignore me.
217
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,040
Sorry, Arno.
218
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,400
That's all right.
219
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,960
Feeling any better, Jill? No.
220
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,840
Much worse!
221
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,200
Much worse...
222
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,320
Jill, erm...
223
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,400
I can't help noticing that, erm,
224
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:29,800
you look much bigger
than you did an hour ago!
225
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,440
BANG!
226
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,040
BANG!
227
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,080
BANG!
228
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,080
Oh, sorry, Arno!
229
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:01,840
That's all right.
230
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,480
I hope it's not Satan!
231
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,080
Jill...
232
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:14,120
Are you...are you hungry, Jill?
233
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,320
I'm starving, Don!
234
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,400
Just help yourself!
235
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,000
SPOON RATTLES
236
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,120
I can't swallow, Cath.
237
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:48,560
Oh, dear.
238
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,640
JILL YELPS
239
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,640
Please not again, Cathy.
240
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,640
What?
241
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,360
Please don't strike me again, Cathy.
242
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,120
Jill, I...
243
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,880
It's not the first time, Sue!
244
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,520
Jill... Aaah! Jill... Aaah!
245
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,320
Ohhh!
246
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,560
I'm not...
247
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,120
I can't be your whipping boy
forever, Cath!
248
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:38,960
Oh, Jill!
249
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,800
I'm sorry, Jill.
250
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,520
Sometimes...
251
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,880
Sometimes, I just...
252
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,800
I just wish you were...
253
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,360
Ohhh!
254
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:01,360
..nicer!
255
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,880
Mmm! Are there any...
256
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,720
any more potatoes, Cath?
257
00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:27,600
I'll go and have a look, Sue.
258
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,360
Aaah!
259
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,560
LABOURED BREATHING
260
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,960
Jill, is there anything
we can get you?
261
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,760
Just my last rites, Arno.
262
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:02,840
Not that I ever really had any.
263
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:15,160
And maybe some...presents, Sue.
264
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:18,920
Even something big and extravagant.
265
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,720
I can't take it with me.
266
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,520
Cathy!
267
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,760
Cathy, is that you?
268
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,160
Yes, Jill, I'm here.
269
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,680
I hear you, Cathy.
270
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,360
Jill, Jill, Jill, I'm here.
271
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,320
Oh, Cath...
272
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,000
Oh, Cathy...
273
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,600
Cathy... Yes.
274
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,280
Before I slip away,
275
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:57,800
I just...wanted to say...
276
00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,400
that...
277
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:06,520
HIGH-PITCHED CHOKING
278
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,000
Jill! Oh, God! Jill!
279
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,360
Jill! Oh, God!
280
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:12,840
Jill! Jill!
281
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,760
Oh!
282
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:17,480
Oh, Cath...
283
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,920
Cathy! Yes! Yes, I'm here, Jill!
284
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,200
I thought you'd gone.
285
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:27,920
Cathy, I really need to tell
you something. Yes, Jill?
286
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,760
In my life,
287
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:34,840
I have told nobody this.
288
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,440
I...
289
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,080
Oh, Jill!
290
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:47,080
Jill! Oh...
291
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,240
JILL! Oh! Yes, Jill!
292
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:55,160
Cath, did you ever see
that thing about...?
293
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,120
Oh, Jill!
294
00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,440
Jill, please, Jill!
295
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:05,040
Jill! Oh, God! Jill! Jill!
296
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,040
Jill, come on! Jill!
297
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,040
Jill! Wake up! Jill!
298
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,080
Jill! Ohhh!
299
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,520
Oh! Oh, Cathy!
300
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,400
Oh, Cathy!
301
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,560
I thought I'd gone. Yes.
302
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:21,000
I saw... I saw everyone.
303
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:26,080
I saw Mary, as in Virgin,
not Quant.
304
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,520
I saw Jesus!
305
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,040
Smiling like a puppy!
306
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:33,840
I saw Terry.
307
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,280
Gordon - he says hello.
308
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:40,000
- He looked very well, Sue. Good.
- Really good.
309
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,680
Thick curly hair now.
310
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,560
Oh! I saw...
311
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,760
I think it was your mum, Cathy!
312
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,000
Tiny lady with glasses.
313
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,120
No, she was a large lady, no glasses.
314
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:56,840
Fat? No, just Junoesque, really.
315
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,280
Still alive, actually.
316
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,000
She looked...
317
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,280
very sp...
318
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,160
It was Lady Diana!
319
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:07,600
Ohhhh!
320
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,960
Oh, the Queen of Hearts!
321
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,640
Bless, she's shrunk a bit now
322
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,480
and she needs glasses,
those thick pebble ones.
323
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,920
But she had a little crown on
324
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:24,120
and a pretty dress made of flowers!
325
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:28,720
She said, "Jill, I love you.
326
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,360
"You are the best person
that ever lived.
327
00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:37,080
"You...must...live on in hope.
328
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,880
"Take my mantle
as the Queen of Hearts
329
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,600
"and spread light through the world.
330
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:47,280
"You shall bring unto this world
your own child
331
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,720
"and you must live and bring it up.
332
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:55,680
"You, Jill, shall spread joy."
333
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:03,160
"Never Take Me Alive"
by Spear Of Destiny
334
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,880
I know it's too late, Sue,
335
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,520
but did you ever want children?
336
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:35,920
Yes, but, erm... God never
blessed me in that department.
337
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,520
Hmm. Where did he bless you, Sue?
338
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:45,400
Well, Sue's got...pretty hair!
339
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,400
And a... Pretty chest.
340
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,400
Praise be!
341
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:01,760
I, er...had my scan today, Don.
342
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:05,480
Hmm? Oh!
343
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,640
Please, Don.
344
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,800
Lovely, thank you.
345
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:15,080
Drinking when pregnant REALLY
isn't advisable, you know!
346
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:16,960
Usually not.
347
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:22,520
But, erm, my problem is I have to
keep the size of the foetus down.
348
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:26,640
The thing is, Arno,
I've got a very, very narrow canal.
349
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,240
Obviously, on the way in,
that's lovely.
350
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,200
On the way OUT,
351
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,720
I can't really cope with anything
bigger than a turnip.
352
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,000
Anyway...
353
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,880
I saw the baby's heart today.
354
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:53,320
Oh, how exciting! Very good.
355
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,880
And her little thumb in her mouth!
356
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,840
Oh! Even more special!
357
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,080
Good practice for her, Cathy.
358
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:05,240
Mmm! Actually, Don,
I got MY scan pictures today.
359
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,640
Oh, right! Sorry!
360
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,440
Selfish!
361
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,720
No, no! It's OK, Cath.
362
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:16,720
Before I show you,
I must tell you...
363
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,240
The doctor said so.
364
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:23,920
I had the most attractive womb
he had EVER seen.
365
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:25,480
Yeah.
366
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:28,880
Apparently,
it's like a supermodel's womb.
367
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,480
Almost identical
to Naomi Campbell's.
368
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:32,880
But not black.
369
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,280
Anyway...
370
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,880
THERE...is baby's eye.
371
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:46,640
That's...very BIG, isn't it?
372
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,960
Big eyes are attractive, Cath.
373
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:51,880
Maybe not just one!
374
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,400
I think that's
the baby's HEAD, Jill.
375
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,160
Well, the scan was
a very emotional time, Don.
376
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:01,520
We're HOPING baby's other eye
377
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:05,240
is just hidden round the other side
of the head there, Sue,
378
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:08,680
and it's just obscured
by a lock of hair. Hair?!
379
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,400
Yeah, the doctor said
he saw hair in the womb.
380
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,080
There is evidence of hair.
381
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,600
Gosh! That's...very unusual!
382
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:16,960
And very virile!
383
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:20,800
Doctor says that I'll just
hopefully cough up that
384
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,120
in the form of a hairball.
385
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:24,600
At some point.
386
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,400
Right. Yeah. Hmm...
387
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,640
Well, well!
388
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,440
So, the only problem is, erm,
389
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,640
is the hair actually extends
390
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:42,680
down the entire range
of the spinal column.
391
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,800
Erm...
392
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:48,560
Now, that COULD result in a scenario
393
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:53,080
whereby the child is born
in the form of a monkey
394
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:58,280
and THAT would be SO damaging
to my self-esteem,
395
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,840
I would think about adoption.
396
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,400
Yes. Yeah.
397
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:15,240
Jill...
398
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,040
I know.
399
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,360
I've been assured they can
wean him off it once he's born,
400
00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:24,480
they do it with the
heroin people, don't they,
and all the different drugs.
401
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,720
My only worry is
the ageing effect of smoking.
402
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:29,800
But at the end of the day, Sue,
403
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,560
I actually prefer them
when they're older
404
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,680
cos the little babies
are just USELESS.
405
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:49,040
Oh, Cath, no!
406
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,360
Ohhhh! Ohhhh!
26061
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