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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,920
This programme contains some scenes
of a sexual nature.
2
00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:12,960
# Hold the line
3
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,440
# Love isn't always on time
4
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,080
# Whoa whoa whoa
5
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,240
# Hold the line
6
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,680
# Love isn't always on time
7
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,560
# Love isn't always on time
8
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:31,320
# Hold the line
9
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,240
# Love isn't always on time
10
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# Love isn't always
Love isn't always on time
11
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# Hold the line... #
12
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,080
Jill!
13
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:46,560
I know.
14
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,880
Oh, my God! What are you doing here?
15
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:53,360
- I'm just...keeping young.
- What about you?
16
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:56,240
Oh, just...chilling.
17
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:58,640
Oh, it's so great to see you, Don.
18
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,000
Oh!
19
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:02,640
Oh!
20
00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:06,640
Oh!
21
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,880
Oh!
22
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,440
Oh!
23
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,000
Ohh!
24
00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,360
Oh!
25
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:20,200
Oh! Your hair looks nice, Don.
26
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,000
Have you dyed it?
27
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,920
It's sun-kissed.
28
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:27,000
- The sun made it curly as well.
- I'd better be...
29
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,560
A perm is nothing to be ashamed of,
Don.
30
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:33,920
Look at Brian May. Year after year
after year! Jill, sorry,
31
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:37,800
- I really need to go.
- Me too, Don, a bit bubbly. Yeah.
32
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,240
You know I drowned myself,
don't you?
33
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:45,080
Really? But I survived.
34
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,920
Why don't you sit down, Don?
35
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,840
I can't. Is it your thong?
36
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:55,400
No.
37
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,800
Just to say, Don,
38
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:31,160
- I'm really sorry we couldn't work things out before, but now we're both free...
- Jill...
39
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,480
- I really can't see you. Oh, my God!
- Have you gone blind?
40
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,080
No...
41
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,840
Hey, dude!
42
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,600
Er, hi!
43
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,800
Cool.
44
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:57,280
GROANING AND BANGING
45
00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,320
Kitchen.
46
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,640
Herbal teas and whatnot.
47
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:38,840
We're all 120% vegan, people just
bring their own stuff and label it.
48
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:42,280
- OK. If I can bring my own labels.
- Sure.
49
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,120
Have you got any hotdogs, Jacques?
50
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,880
No, um...
51
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:49,960
I reckon Bluebell has some tofu
nibblets. I'm sure you could...
52
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:55,320
- I'm not being funny, Jacques, but I think Bluebeard tried to touch me up in the rub-a-dub.
- OK.
53
00:03:55,320 --> 00:04:01,640
- I acknowledge your response, but it's not her vibe.
- If she tries it on again, I'll knock her block off.
54
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,400
I hope that's your clown talking,
Flo.
55
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:08,880
Hi, guys. Here's today's communal
rota. Linda, you're on toilets.
56
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:12,800
Thank you, Bluebeard. I do do quite
a lot of poo-poos in the morning.
57
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,640
Yeah. You're CLEANING toilets.
58
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,520
I will clean up after.
59
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:24,160
And, um...Flo, here's your
client list for today.
60
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:27,240
Thank you. Neil, he has spinal...
61
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,360
Bifida? ..stiffness.
62
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:33,440
So, er...he just needs
a remedial massage.
63
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,760
- Linda will do that one, then.
- Thank you.
64
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,120
Karen Pole, she has
deep esteem issues.
65
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,360
Oh, God!
66
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:45,320
Um, well, yeah... It's all there,
you can read it. Hm, Linda can't.
67
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,800
I am reading that book of letters,
Jill.
68
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,600
Yeah, that's the alphabet, Linda.
69
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,920
There we go then.
70
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,280
Lovely!
71
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:04,520
So...
72
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,400
My name's Floella Umbagabe.
73
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,560
I'll be your therapist for the day.
74
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,640
OK?
75
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:14,000
And you are...
76
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,800
Karen Pole. Yes.
77
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,680
So... Excuse me.
78
00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:20,440
What brings you here today, Karen?
79
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,120
Well, I'm quite depressed.
80
00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:27,720
- Um, sort of down on myself.
- You don't like yourself.
81
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:31,720
No. No. Do you know anyone else
that likes you, Karen?
82
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,520
Um...well, I don't feel like they do.
83
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,360
No, they probably don't then.
84
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:38,880
Oh.
85
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:42,280
I have been married.
86
00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:43,680
Well done!
87
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,840
But my husband left me.
88
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,720
Oh, dear.
89
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:48,920
Mm.
90
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:52,360
Starting to feel depressed myself
now, Karen.
91
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,800
I just feel like I'm...
92
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,360
An old pointless lump.
93
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,760
I know.
94
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,560
I mean, I...
95
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,960
I don't really see a future.
96
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,120
No. I stay in bed most days.
97
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:12,800
People say, you know, "Try and
get up, open the curtains..."
98
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,320
I'd close them, Karen,
and close them tight. Right.
99
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,560
OK?
100
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:21,600
Say there's a happy young boy
cycling by your window,
101
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,800
he looks in and sees
your bitter, withered, old face.
102
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:30,400
He'll fall off his bicycle
and kill himself, and you've got
murder on your hands then, Karen!
103
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:31,720
Right.
104
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,080
So is there any help available?
105
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,080
It's tricky, Karen. Mm.
106
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,840
It is tricky. Hm.
107
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,040
It's very tricky, Karen.
108
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,360
It's quite tricky. Hm.
109
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,160
Hey!
110
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,160
Hey.
111
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,480
Early bird again. Yes.
112
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,280
That ribbon's a lot of fun.
113
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,240
Oh, thank you!
114
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,440
Oh, lovely!
115
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,400
Jill!
116
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,960
Hello, Cath! Flo.
117
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,680
Jacques...this is Jill.
118
00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,920
That's Jill.
119
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,720
It's...Jill.
120
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,320
CATH LAUGHS
Yeah.
121
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,800
Floella, it's our new therapist.
122
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,520
She's a hairdresser.
123
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:49,800
Wow!
124
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,680
Many strings.
125
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,640
Floella's my religious name, Cathy.
126
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,720
You've never told me that.
127
00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:02,480
I didn't want to burden you, Cathy,
at your time of life.
128
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,160
What are you doing here?
129
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,960
I work here, Cathy, actually.
130
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,200
You...
131
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:15,440
Jill, is it your caravan parked...
132
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:19,200
out-outside on our drive?
133
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,640
It's all I can afford, Cathy.
134
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,960
I'm living like a diddicoy.
135
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,480
I heard, um...
136
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,960
banging coming from inside.
137
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,760
The pipes.
138
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,320
And shouting.
139
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,680
Pipes.
140
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,400
Anyway...
141
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:47,960
I'd love to stay and natter, Cathy,
but there's healing to be done.
142
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,760
Morning, Mr Tom.
143
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:55,960
Morning.
144
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:59,760
Floella's not here, sorry,
but she is block.
145
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,360
I am Linda. What is wrong with you?
146
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:14,040
Well, I-I-I...fractured my pelvis
a while ago
147
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:17,840
and I usually wear a strap
to support it.
148
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:22,360
Jill made me do that once...
for a film.
149
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:26,320
I haven't worn the strap
for a while, so I'm a bit stiff.
150
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,320
Right.
151
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,640
I gotta do the questions.
152
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:38,440
Do you have any body hair?
153
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:39,760
Yes.
154
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:47,840
Is it more in certain places
than others?
155
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,440
Er...well,
156
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:54,040
the chest and I suppose the, um...
157
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:55,800
pubic.
158
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:59,120
Pubes, is it? I got loads.
159
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,560
Right...
160
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:07,640
I won't wear the strap, but I will
do you the roll-on, roll-off massage.
161
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:08,840
Right.
162
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,600
HE PLAYS A FANFARE
163
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,080
It's you.
164
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,080
Oh! Oh!
165
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,560
THEY LAUGH
166
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:28,240
You'll have me over. Sorry, Glen,
I didn't know you were there.
167
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,640
I'll nip inside for my sheet music.
168
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,120
Is there something I should know?
169
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:37,440
Oh. We've got some booze,
get us in the mood. Oh, right.
170
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:43,680
Glen, have you ever heard of
sexual role playing? What's that?
171
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:48,200
I pretend to be someone and you
pretend to be someone and then...
172
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:52,800
So I can be Dr Schweitzer
and you can be a lady with leprosy?
173
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:56,400
Well, like strict teacher
and naughty schoolgirl.
174
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,080
Would I have to wear a tassel skirt?
175
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:04,960
Oh! Oh!
176
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:07,920
Oh!
177
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,040
Oh!
178
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:36,200
Oh, sorry!
179
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:38,720
Ooh!
180
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,520
Is that better, Mr Tom?
181
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,800
- There you go.
- You can be a geography teacher.
182
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:07,120
I don't know what to do, Jill. You're
a teacher. You've got to be strict!
183
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,680
Strict. Right. Um...
184
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,640
Right...
185
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,760
Morning, everybody.
186
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,160
Morning, Mr Bulb!
187
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:32,160
Ox bow lakes.
What do we know about ox bow lakes?
188
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:37,240
Glen, it's just me. I'm in detention
cos I've been really naughty.
189
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,960
Sorry. OK?
190
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,760
OK, Jill. You naughty girl.
191
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,720
What do you know about ox bow lakes?
192
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:48,640
I don't know anything
about ox bow lakes, Mr Bulb,
193
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:53,480
because I've been really naughty
and I need to be punished.
194
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:58,720
Ox bow lakes are the residue
of rivers which used to flow
around rocky outcrops...
195
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,720
I hope you're not going to put your
big stick in my mouth, Mr Bulb.
196
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,520
Of course not, Jill,
it's awfully dirty.
197
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,560
Oh! Jill! What did you do that for?
198
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,800
Oh, sorry, Glen.
199
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:20,240
- Oh, Jill, you almost had my eye out.
- Has it gone, Glen?
200
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:24,560
I think I may have lost it.
My retina's detached or something.
201
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:29,720
Oh, Glen! It's all done with light
nowadays, not knives.
202
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:32,720
In that case, Jill,
I certainly will punish you!
203
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,720
Oh, Mr Bulb!
204
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,040
Oh!
205
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,720
SINUOUS SAXOPHONE MELODY PLAYS
206
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,000
Gee willykins!
207
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:10,960
Oh!
208
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,520
RADIO PLAYS
209
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:31,280
Self-assertion,
210
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,720
setting boundaries.
211
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:39,760
It's about saying, "Hang on, mister.
I'm not a doormat.
212
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,120
"Don't wipe your feet on me.
213
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:47,400
"Don't bring your dog muck in here
and smear it all over my face."
214
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,360
Say it.
215
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,360
Oh! Er...sorry.
216
00:14:55,360 --> 00:15:01,760
Em... Don't...bring your dog muck
in...and smear it all over my face.
217
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:04,880
Good girl!
218
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,760
Good girl!
219
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,920
# But I'm dancing in the moonlight
220
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:14,120
# It's got me in its spotlight
221
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,560
# Dancing in the moonlight
222
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:21,240
# On this long, hot summer night... #
223
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:26,960
God!
224
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,120
Hi, Natalie! How's you?
225
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,440
I'm fine.
226
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:33,360
Sorry to creep up on you like that
227
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:37,240
but I spotted you and I thought your
leggies were burning.
228
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,680
So...yeah...
229
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:42,120
Don't I recognise you? Didn't you
come into the cafe I work at?
230
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:43,440
What, Mumbles?
231
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,240
Complaining about a blueberry
muffin? Yeah.
232
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,680
No. That'll be my doppelganger.
233
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:51,560
You go out with Don Cole, don't you?
234
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,400
Yeah.
235
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,600
We just really connect. Really? Yes.
236
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,360
How many times has he connected?
237
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,920
I don't know.
238
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,160
He says he loves me though.
239
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,440
Really? And you believe him?
240
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,280
Yeah. I think so.
241
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:10,000
I think he means it. Nice.
242
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:14,000
He's always buying me things as well.
He bought me these last week.
243
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,120
Nail extensions. Yeah.
244
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:19,120
- They look quite cheap. Do you think?
- Yeah.
245
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,360
They're nice.
246
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,680
I quite like them. Yeah.
247
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:26,120
You don't find him too old?
248
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,720
No. I mean, people have said things
but... Yeah.
249
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:30,840
It feels right.
250
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,960
Like he's a paedophile or something.
251
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:38,040
Well, just don't concentrate on the
wrinkles and just focus
on the person.
252
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,640
Yeah.
253
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,440
Oh, my God!
254
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,400
What? Your face.
255
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,320
Natalie...
256
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:55,480
I work for a top London model agency
called Lookers.
257
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:59,000
I run it. I actually used to be
a supermodel.
258
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,960
And looking at your face,
259
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,080
I could take you to the top.
260
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:04,680
Really? Yeah.
261
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,680
You think I could be a model?
262
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,680
I know it in my soul, Natalie.
263
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,360
I'm not the only one - Don said
something to me about it.
264
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:13,680
Did he? Yeah.
265
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:17,160
Now, I'm also a top trained
photographer.
266
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,200
Why don't we do some shots for your
folio-
267
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,160
some outdoor, artsy shots.
268
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:39,360
Maybe I just don't have a clown.
269
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,320
No, that was great, Cath.
270
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,760
Yeah.
271
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,840
Do you want some 'nana, Mr Tom?
272
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,440
Hiya, Cathy.
273
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,480
How's you? Yeah. Good.
274
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,600
You come as Little Bo Peep.
275
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,760
He fancies you, Cathy.
276
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,480
He doesn't.
277
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,520
He keeps staring. He does not!
278
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,560
His eyes are coming out on sticks!
279
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:02,600
Really? He can barely keep his thing
in his trousers.
280
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,880
Honestly, Jill!
281
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,640
I saw it poking. Oh, please!
282
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,720
I don't think he's wearing pants.
283
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,240
Thank you. That's quite enough.
284
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,520
# I feel pretty
285
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:20,400
# Oh, so pretty
286
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,240
# I feel pretty and witty and gay! #
287
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,760
You're OK with Don's affair.
288
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,040
Um...
289
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:35,640
Don's head is in a very strange
place at the moment.
290
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,160
I bet.
291
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,960
So it's not really an affair.
292
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,080
It's just we're both free to see
other people
293
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,400
while we work stuff out.
294
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,000
Oh, my God!
295
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,040
You seen that couple? Yeah.
296
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,400
There's a surprise.
297
00:19:56,080 --> 00:20:02,160
Jacques says we all have the
capability to flop on the other side
of the swing.
298
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,560
- I ain't natural though, is it?
- No, it's not.
299
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,680
- Would you flop on the other side?
- No. But, you know...
300
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,080
horses for courses.
301
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,680
Especially her age, though, Cath.
302
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:16,360
I just hope she cleans her teeth
before she comes down the centre.
303
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,320
You know what they do at night. Yes.
304
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,520
Hi! Hiya!
305
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,000
Oh!
306
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,360
Hi, Don!
307
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:34,120
I didn't see you there.
308
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:39,760
God! It's like bees round shit.
All these young boys
flapping round my honeypot.
309
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:44,560
The thing is, Don, what have these
young girls got to offer, really?
310
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,480
I mean, I've had my hymen reinstated
311
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,960
but a couple of decades of
experience...
312
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,880
Yeah, well...
313
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,760
Oh, my God! What do you think of
that, Don?
314
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,080
What do you think of that?
315
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,640
It's great.
316
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:10,320
Yeah, that's my lingam
in a state of awakening.
317
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,680
Oh, crikey!
318
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:17,520
That's...very wide awake, isn't it?
319
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,440
So is your partner here tonight?
320
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:22,840
No.
321
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:26,560
No. Actually, I don't really have
a regular partner.
322
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,440
Really? Gosh! I'd...
323
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,200
just assumed.
324
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:37,560
Well, I'm sure you're going to make
an absolutely super husband
and father one day.
325
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,120
I'm potent,
326
00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:43,440
and if I stay with somebody
for too long that gets diluted.
327
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,160
So...I tend to split.
328
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,000
Oh, dear.
329
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,160
But, hey,
330
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,120
we should dance.
331
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:54,160
Yeah, I'd love that. Yeah. OK.
332
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,560
Later on.
333
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:01,240
Sorry to have...
334
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,960
"Sweet Home Alabama"
by Lynyrd Skynyrd
335
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:02,760
Jacques,
336
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,880
I'm not a doormat.
337
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:09,680
Please don't smear your dog muck
all over my face.
338
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,560
Sorry?
339
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:16,800
I was a tiny bit hurt
and....um...really quite cross...
340
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,040
earlier.
341
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,760
Sorry.
342
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,560
When we were talking and you broke
off mid conversation
343
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,200
and went to talk to those other
ladies.
344
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,560
And...you know...
345
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,080
OK.
346
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:34,280
I'm feeling a little bit of anger
about that.
347
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,760
I'm sorry.
348
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,200
Um... I'm feeling angry right now.
349
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,240
Jacques, I'm sorry.
350
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:41,440
I'm sorry.
351
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:42,880
I'm... I'm...
352
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,800
I'm going to have to take time out
353
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,600
and just sort of release this...er...
354
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,560
- Jacques, I'm really sorry.
- I didn't mean to.
355
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,200
I'm gonna... I'm gonna just go howl.
356
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,920
I didn't want to spoil...
357
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:56,520
PLEASE!
358
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,120
Jacques, baby, come on!
359
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,840
Whoooooo!
360
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:16,120
# Though my love is rare
361
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:21,640
# Though my love is true
362
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,400
# I'm like a bird... #
363
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,680
I've got your folio back, Nat.
364
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,800
Let's have a little peep.
365
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,800
I hope you like them.
366
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,920
Oh, my God!
367
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,720
You look a bit shocked, Natalie.
368
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,160
God! I had no idea!
369
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,560
Is that really my nose?
370
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:48,160
Well, yeah - unless you're wearing
a false one.
371
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,600
Has Don said anything?
372
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:54,640
He does feel that your nose is
something of an obstacle-
373
00:24:54,640 --> 00:25:00,000
- not just to him but to your career.
- I mean, you could have a picnic off there.
374
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,520
Natalie, I know surgery's
a big step.
375
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:22,560
- You think I need surgery?
- If you want to be a model, darling,
376
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,800
or any kind of relationship with
Don.
377
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,280
GIGGLING AND LAUGHTER >
378
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,200
Jacques, baby.
379
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:58,840
Seen Natalie?
380
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,080
Is she Cath?
381
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:07,600
How you feeling, Natalie? OK.
382
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,600
A bit nervous?
383
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:14,680
OK. Well, the anaesthetic should
start working relatively soon.
384
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:16,920
Just consult my...
385
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:20,600
I should get the hang of this
as we go along.
386
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:21,960
OK.
387
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,120
Here we go then.
388
00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:26,400
Take a deep breath, please.
389
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,560
NATALIE SHRIEKS
390
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,800
This is a tough one, Nat.
391
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,840
NATALIE SCREAMS
392
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:48,800
Oh!
393
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,840
# ..By the tone of my voice, baby
394
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:55,440
# But you didn't listen
395
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:02,680
# You played dead, but you never bled
396
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:06,080
# Instead you lay still in the grass
397
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:10,600
# All coiled up and hissin'
398
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:18,520
# And though I know all about
those men
399
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:23,120
# Still I don't remember
400
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:29,520
# Cos it was us, baby
Way before them
401
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:34,360
# And we're still together
402
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:40,520
# And I meant every word I said... #
403
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,240
Don!
404
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,840
Don!
405
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,560
DON!!
406
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,480
DON!
407
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,200
DON!!!
408
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,760
DON!!
409
00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:00,680
# ..It's the only thing I wanna do
410
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:04,880
# I don't want to sleep
411
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:10,400
# I just want to keep on
loving you... #
412
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,320
It's for you, Don.
413
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,800
Do you like my dancing? Not really.
28192
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