All language subtitles for Ezra.2023.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-BYNDR_Subtitles01.ENG

I was right. I was right.

Now, that's nice.
That's got me, that's good.

Most people don't get me, you know.

Nobody's direct anymore, you
notice this?

Everybody's got, like, a secret language.

It's like a code
for what they really wanna say.

Like the doctor
who first told me my son was autistic.

You know, he says to me,
he says, "You know, the
autistic mind

is wired in brilliant
and revolutionary ways."

I said, "Oh, yeah?

How so?"

Because, you know, my son
didn't speak.

Didn't speak at all for years.

Communicated only in grunts, growls

and ear-piercing screams.

And then when he finally
started speaking, he wouldn't
shut up.

It's true. He wouldn't. He
wouldn't.

That doctor could've saved us
both a lot of time
if he'd just said the truth.

Just slap those bitches,
and show 'em who's boss!

- Ezra!
- Autistic kids don't give a
fuck, man.

- Say my name! Say my name!
- They don't. They don't.

You look good.

How's work?

Good.

When did Ezra see Breaking Bad?

We binged it last weekend.

- Maybe we should be a little
more careful.
- What-- what do you mean?

He's been reading
the New York Times since he was five.

He can handle Walter White.

- Thank you for coming in.
- Hi!

- Hi, Jenna.
- Mrs. Lee, hi. Nice to see you.

Max, you both know Dr. Tamarova.

Mm-hmm.

Ezra, please stay with Anthony.

Hi, hi, Ms. Cathro.

Uh, what-- what's happening?

Why is Ezra
not with the rest of the class?

He's really been acting out today.

I have other students
who want to learn,

who count on me
to keep them safe.

- I'm getting so tired of this shit.
- Max, please.

No, you know
that he's bullied here, right?

Yeah, maybe he was trying
to make that vicious little kid laugh.

Ezzie came home
with a bloody lip last week.

Anybody get expelled for that?

Spoke to that boy's parents as well.

Right, but Ezzie's the bad one.

No, no, Ezra is not bad,

but today,
he was a danger to himself and others.

There it is, there it is.
The secret language.

- I was waiting for it.
- Max.

- Huh?
- Max! Stop.

You can't expel him.
He's been working very, very hard.

And, yes, he has had his bad days,

but he's also met a lot of the goals

that you set for him.

Ms. Lee, please.

Y-You can't drop him.

Max, this autism shit,
it's depressing.

You can talk
about whatever you want

if you give us a reason to want
to listen.

And I want to listen.
I think my cousin's autistic.

- But it's gotta be funny.
- See, the sign says
comedy on it.

- It's not a funeral parlor.
- Huh.

What is this, a fucking
intervention?

I disagree.
You need to go deeper, further.

Make a whole set out of it.

Well, make a whole evening out
of it.

You know, "Disabilities with
Max."

Well, I'm not telling jokes.
I'm storytelling.

I know you're not,
but you gotta make it funny.

Sad stories, Jackie,
you should see his sad stories.

Oh, I've seen 'em
plenty.

Divorce is not for pussies.

Nosy, dark, and sexy.

Sorry to interrupt,
I just wanted to tell you

- I loved your set.
- There you go.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome. I'm Susan.

Can I buy you a drink?

I'd save the dough.
This guy is in mourning.

Hey.

- Are you crying?
- Ah, come on.

I'll call you.

Really?

No.

He cried, didn't he?

It's his kid, my grandson.

You hungry?

Fix you something to eat.

It's a bigger number
than we discussed,

but it's exactly the neighborhood
that you wanted.

Listen, th-there are multiple bids,

so I think we have to come in
above the ask.

I wish that wasn't the case,
but, unfortunately,

it's still a seller's market.

Ezra! Breakfast!

- Where'd you get the shirt?
- Come on. Cut it out. It's not
your shirt.

- You sure it's not my shirt?
- I'm sure.

Enrico moved to the Ritz.

And my building is still
a union house,

and there's an opening now, so...

- Yeah?
- ...I want you to consider that.

Yeah, okay.

I'm just not gonna be a
doorman, Pop,
thank you.

There's nothing wrong
with being a doorman.

And a man your age
shouldn't be living with his father.

They're expelling him. They
expelled Ez.

They want me to put him
in a special needs school.

Nah, none of it's special.
It's all bullshit.

Yeah, there it is,
they're recommending drugs.

Put him in a gym,
let him work off that special sauce.

- Yeah.
- But you gotta keep fighting.

Yeah, keep fighting, right.
You know how much that's
costing me?

I'm paying for her lawyer, my lawyer.

Jenna knows I'm broke.
Can I have a fork, please?

She knows you're still not over
her, too.
That's one thing.

Just cut it out already, all
right?
Give me a break. Come on.

Okay, who cries after fucking a
stranger?

That's crazy. You gotta move
on, kiddo.

Believe me, I know what it's
like
to fuck things up with a woman

and to get stuck with a kid on
top of it.

More coffee?

Yeah, what, am I new here?
I'll take a coffee.

Tell me something good, Jayne.

I have something really, really good.

I'm not doing it. Nah, I write
for me now.

- Come here.
- For me.

Come here.

I'm not sitting on your lap.

I got something to tell you.

Come on.

You don't want me to get up.

All right, no one's gonna
hire me in late night anymore.

Conan fucking blackballed me.

Well, you punched him in the balls.

Well, I was aiming for his stomach.

He's so fucking tall!

Why are you so crazy?

Listen, Robert Segal
has heard great things about you.

Robert Segal. What, Kimmel's
booker?

He wants to see you
down at the Cellar tonight.

No, I can't. I can't do it tonight.

I'm taking Ezzie
to The Big Lebowski tribute.

We're gonna dress up like the characters,
throw shit at the screen.

- It's gonna be awesome.
- That's all cute, but not tonight.

I can't. I can't let the dude down.

You wanna do something for your
son?

You get Mr. Segal
to book you on Mr. Kimmel.

Okay, ready?
I'm getting the costume.

Okay.

Okay, this is cozy.

- This is gonna be itchy.
- I know.

Okay.

- Okay.
- Wait, not now, I got it.

I got it.

You look so cute!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm
sorry!

It's okay. Sorry. It's okay.

I'm sorry, Ezzie. It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay.

I got it, honey.

Wow, look at you.

- So, a lawyer walks into a bar--
- No, no. Don't do that, Bryce.

- It's Bruce.
- Ezzie! Ezzie!

And you're "Hay-zeus," the
bowler, right?

It's "Jesus," man.

- Jesus.
- Have you not seen the movie?

No, it's been a-- oh!
And here's the Big Lebowski!

I'm not Mr. Lebowski.
You're Mr. Lebowski.

I'm The Dude.

Well, not yet you're not.

Let's see.

Now you're The Dude.

Let me see.

Just in case.

Okay, he's with me.
He's not gonna have a meltdown.

Sure. Well,
we'll be back by 9:00,

so just the movie
and straight home.

- Promise?
- Yeah, I promise.

- Okay!
- Okay.

Okay.

- Straight home, guys.
- Yeah. You, too. Okay?

- Have fun!
- All right.

He didn't like my joke.

You're nice.

What's up, buddy?

Jack-Jack-Jacquelyn.

- What's up, Max?
- I'm gonna go get changed.

- Hey, Ezra.
- Hi.

Have you been
to a costume ball, then, love?

No. Big Lebowski, 7:00 p.m. show.

Oh! Great movie. Love it.

I'll have a White Russian.

Virgin White Russian for The Dude.

Actually, pineapple juice.
I'll have a pineapple juice.

- You make me think of pirates.
- Really? That's weird.

Yes.

Even though the pirate accent

is typically West Country English.

Yaarrgh!

The Irish are fine pirates.

Oh! Drop the lobe! Drop the lobe.

Max is stoned, everyone. Max is stoned.

Really, dude?

I don't know if anyone's

in an interracial relationship.

I'm in one. My girlfriend's
Puerto Rican.

- Yes! Thank you. I appreciate that.
- See him?

Okay, see the guy over there
with glasses?

That's him.
Okay, I need my Ezzie mojo, okay?

You ready to be my good luck
charm?

Find me a more unhappy human being.

Depressing. Why would I do that?

Don't be so literal, Ezzie.
Come on, let's go.

Every time my dad
interacts with a gay person, he
calls me.

Every interaction.

It doesn't matter how small it is.
He called me the other day.

He was like,
"Emma, I was at the grocery store,

and I looked over, and I saw a
lesbian."

And I was like, "That's great,
dad. How did you know she was a
lesbian?"

He said "Well, she looked like
you."
"Goodbye, Pop!"

Okay, guys, ready for your
next comic?

Gimme the mojo.
Gimme the mojo! Gimme the mojo!

One of my personal favorites.

He was a writer for some
of the biggest names in the business.

Now he writes for himself.

Clap it up for my buddy, Max
Bernal!

Let him hear ya!

Yes!

That's Emma Willmann! Give it
up!

- How we feeling?
- Good.

Now, take it easy. I don't
really care.

My son is here tonight!
That's right. My son is here tonight.

Dying of shame.

Stand up, and take the wig off,
Ez!

Stop talking about me!

Okay. I didn't expect that.
Uh, you know,

try to have a little respect,
okay, Ez?

I'm up here humiliating myself
to give you a better life.

All right.

I'm good to you, you little prick.

- Not like my old man.
- Pop-Pop!

That's right. Pop-Pop.

That's the last time
he'll speak, by the way.

Pop-Pop, that's actually
the perfect name for my old man.

Pop-Pop. It's like two gunshots.

One to the head,
one to the heart. "Pop! Pop!"

Let me tell you a little bit
about my old man.

This guy, you know, he was a--
one of the top gourmet chefs

in New York City back in the day.

Worked at all the top restaurants.
It's true, you know.

Every one of which he got
shit-canned from

because nobody
could stand working with him.

I mean, the guy got driven out
of town,

and the only place
he could find a job as a chef

was at a steakhouse in Nebraska.

- Ooh!
- That's right.

You know cuisine in Nebraska, man.

There isn't any.

I mean, you kill it, they grill it,
you get a Michelin tire, see?

So, I'm five years old,
I'm living in Nebraska,

it's my birthday party,
and you know, it's a lot of pressure.

I mean, you know, I've got
these fat farmers' kids staring
at me.

I'm the only thing standing
between them and the cake, so,
you know...

Papier-mâché bib, it's 1980,
so you know everything I'm
wearing

is made out of napalm.

I bend down, blow out my candles,

I'm about to do it when I hear
my pop say,

"Blow out your fucking candles,
Max!"

I flinch. I fall forward.

Candle lights me up.
I light up like a fucking road flare.

I'm telling you, I am on fire!

My old man,
he grabs his Dr. Pepper,

he puts me out like a
campfire, and says,

"You want some cake, Maxie?"

I says, "No, Pop.

- I want my eyebrows back!"
- I want my eyebrows back!

Thanks, kid.

I'm gonna go kill my son.

Hey, I think it's great
that you memorized my set,

but you can't be steppin'
on my punchline, buddy.

I can't let the train go off
the rails!

Okay, Ez, here comes Mr. Happy now.

Okay, just whatever you're
thinking,
don't say it, okay, please.

- Good set.
- Thank you.

- I think I'll book your kid.
- Ha!

You're still not funny, Bob.

Ezzie, meet Mr. Segal.
Bob, this is my son, Ezra.

So, um, next week, a producer
comes in

- to see you and Sal Argento.
- All right.

And then, one of you is doing
the Kimmel show in Los Angeles.

Mr. Segal, are you sad
because you're bald?

- He's dark.
- Mm.

Like his daddy.

- Get your best stuff together, Max.
- Okay.

- All right? You're gonna need it.
- All right. All right.

Sad and bald? That's you not
talking?

- I was just asking a question.
- Okay.

Come on, let's get out of here
before your mother kills me.

Sorry. Sorry.

Well...

Oh, my god.

Okay.

Snug as a bug in a rug.

Okay. All right, all right.

I wasn't doing anything.

Hey. We had a good time, right?

Just one more.

All right, all right! Hey. I
love you.

Good night.

Who says autistic kids can't
communicate?

"Ah, get out of my room!"
And I'm out. Yeah.

He's the best communicator in
the world.

You can use the sensory brush
next time.

Nah, nah, nah,
the brushing thing is your thing.

What is he, an alpaca?

You did a set at the Cellar,
and you promised me you
wouldn't.

- You're driving me crazy.
- I'm sorry, okay?

A guy from Kimmel came to see me,

- and I needed my good luck
charm, right?
- Oh.

You know me. I needed my mojo man.

Did you read Dr. Tamarova's
assessment?

Look at you. You are so pretty.
Come on. Give me a kiss.

- Brad's gone already.
- Stop it.

It's Bruce, and he's in the kitchen.

- Brian is in my kitchen?
- Hi, Max!

You know, he's never gonna
belong in our house.

Max. This is my house. Did you
read it?

Yeah, I read it. I read
it, yes.

But it was a mugging.
They just want him out of there.

The Board of Ed will pay for him
to go to a special needs school.

He doesn't need a special school.

Max, he led 20 kids
onto Washington Street.

- It was incredibly dangerous.
- Okay, but he's not dangerous.

He's a challenge.

Fuck. Nobody wants to do the
fucking work.

The work? The work. All I do is work.

You come here, you play dress up
to take him to comedy club.

- Bring him home at midnight.
- That's not what I meant, okay?

Look, we're on the same team, Jen.

You know how he thinks.
I know how he thinks.

He just needs to be seen, Jen,
you know?

And heard and-- and appreciated
for what he has to offer.

Yes, yes, but he also needs
to be able to give us a hug

without screaming.

It's an opportunity, Max.

He'll be with trained teachers
and aides

in a school built for him,

how he needs to learn.

No bullies.

He'll be with kids just like him.

- Nice. Kids like him, huh?
- Okay.

- That's not what I meant.
- You know what? I know what you meant.

Here's the thing, I'm a kid
like him.

And kids like us, you know what
we need?
To be with all kinds of kids.

So, no, I will not accept
her recommendation fucking ever.

- You all right?
- No.

It never fails!

Every time we get close to something

that might actually work,

Max has to blow it up!

This is the third school
that Ezra's been expelled from.

There's no other options.
What am I supposed to do?

Well,
I could get rid of Max for you.

- Oh, you can do that
for me?
- Yeah. I'm a lawyer.

I have no moral compass.

Besides, I know a guy.
They call him Jimmy the Hatchet.

Bang, bang, bitches. Cut off
his head,
and feed him to the fishes!

Get down! Get down!

It won't be
too much longer, sweetie,

but you scared the hell out of me.

Honey, why'd you sneak out
of the house like that?

Hmm? Please don't do that ever.

- Say you'll never do that.
- I won't ever do that.

Miss Demuzio saw you run in the street,

and then a taxi came out
and then he hit you.

- I mean, you could've been--
- A dog tried to bite me.

I had to get away from his teeth.

Hey, Jen. They're almost ready
for him.

No!

- It's okay.
- Hey.

- Hey. Dad's here.
- What's happening?

Hey, buddy. Hey, hey. You okay?

What's going on? Huh? What
happened?

- 14th Street Viaduct to
Manhattan Avenue.
- What?

- Three blocks to the park at--
- Hey, hey, I know--

- I know you know where Pop-Pop
lives.
- I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry, okay? Just tell
me what--

- You're mad.
- No, I'm not mad.

Okay, I'm not mad--

Okay, you know what?
Yeah, I'm a little bit mad.

Eyes. Eyes. Ezzie.

- What were you doing running
outs--
- Can I talk to you for a second?

Hey--

Ezra Bernal.

- Why's he in the middle of the
hallway?
- They need to run tests.

What do you mean tests?
What tests? You mean like
X-rays?

- Psych evaluation.
- What do you mean psych eval--

Hey, where you going? Hey, no, thanks.

- I had the same reaction.
- What psych evaluation?

- He got hit by a cab.
- It's protocol for children.

- Excuse me. Is there a problem?
- Yeah. We need to see a doctor, please.

- I'm Dr. Kaplan.
- Oh, okay. We-- hey, stop!

Sir, you need to let the man do
his job.

Yes. Let's just relax. Just--

- Dad?
- Yeah, I'm right here, buddy.

- We're here, honey.
- Don't worry.

We're gonna sort this out
in a minute, okay?

They made me draw pictures,

stuck lights in my eyes
and asked me questions.

What kind of questions?

They asked me if Mom or Dad
ever tried to hit me.

If I had ever tried to hurt myself.

Okay, I'm sorry
they asked you that kind of stuff.

Are they gonna make me live

somewhere else?

- Like in a hospital?
- No.

They can't.

You have family,
and they have to answer to us.

- So, that's not gonna happen.
- Okay.

Next move.

- You sure you want to do that?
- Oh, yeah.

KO.

You had to do that, didn't you, huh?

Hi.

Thank you for your patience.

I know it's been a long night.

I have some good news.

We are going to send Ezra home
this morning.

But because of his age

and because a witness
saw him run in front of a cab--

That's bullshit.

Please. Let him finish.

Ezzie would never just
run in front of a cab.

- Just listen to the doctor.
- I know this is traumatic,

but I'm doing what the law says
I must do.

Ezra is technically a ward of
the state.

- You don't have that right.
- Legally, he does actually.

Let's just hear the doctor out.

Ezra has a history
of fleeing

and putting himself
in danger.

Now, I'm not going to put him
into a pediatric psych ward.

But I am going to require him
to attend a school for special needs.

And I would like to try
a prescription for Risperdal.

Risperdal? That's an antipsychotic.

- Your son has been a danger to himself.
- He has not!

Max! He nearly died! That
happened.

Just let him finish. Let him finish.

We are going to
revisit this
in three months.

But right now,
Risperdal is the correct medication.

- Max.
- No, no. I just--

- You got a lot of Risperdal here.
- Max.

What do the drug companies
give you for pushing this on
kids?

You get a free fucking badge?

- Hey, Max, come on. Take it easy.
- Take it easy.

Now, I see where
the dangerous behavior comes from.

- Oh, excuse me?
- Max!

You son of a bitch!

- No. I'm not doing that.
- Max.

I got Dr. Wells
to drop the assault charge,

- but you gotta go with the program.
- Fuck that guy.

- He's a drug dealer.
- He's in control is what he is.

Of the special ed school,
the medications, all of it.

And what about the, uh,
about the restraining order?

Three months. You can't go near Ezra.

I'm sorry. It's the judge's
decision.

I can probably get it down
to a month if you use the
behavior cards.

Fuck those cards. He pisses on those.

You want to go home
or you wanna spend another
night in here?

It's up to you.

Must have been humiliating
being rescued by your wife's
boyfriend.

Please stop talking.

She's obsessed with this retard crap.

Hey, what's wrong with you, huh?

Nobody says "retard" anymore,
okay?
Nobody. Don't say it again.

Okay. I won't say it.

You know, it's a felony having this.

That's a lot of bullshit.

I served my country.
I have a right to have this.

Food. You served food.

I had no choice.
Now they're telling me I can't
see Ezra.

I-- I got no say
in what drugs they're gonna
give him.

What school they're gonna put
him in.
What the f--

You got anything to say?

- She cut you out good. I know.
- She didn't do this.

She didn't have to.
I just picked you up from prison.

What are you talking about?

- That's the best you got?
- What am I gonna say?

You rush in blind,
you get knocked on your ass.

You can't control your own power,

then what the hell do you have?
Nothing.

Says the guy who knocked out a customer

because his steak was
overcooked?

That was a perfect steak.

Ah, you see now, there it is.

- There's my twisted
moral compass.
- That's right. Whatever.

Whatever's right. Yeah.

Maybe if that were true,
we'd still be in Nebraska,

I'd still have a mother,
what do you think?

What are you doing? What are
you doing?

Stop.

I'm sorry, all right?

I just-- I didn't mean to bring
that up.

Fucking guy says to me,
"Hey, stupid, there's no blood
on my plate."

I say, "Hey, I'm sorry."
And I punch him in the face.

I say, "Now there is blood on
your plate."

What are you talking about?
I'm talking about my mother.

Now what, now you're gonna
start blaming everything

that's wrong with you and your life
on me and your mother?

Get the fuck out of here!

You know what? You're a fucking
asshole!

Fuck you.
Learn how to fucking cook a steak.

Move the car!

Got it?

Good job.

Do you really think you should wear
the dinosaur costume

on your first day at a new
school?

Hmm.

Hey, it's gonna be great.

There's gonna be all these new
kids, and you're gonna find
the nicest ones.

Hey, psst, Ezra.

Ezzie.

Ezzie.

Okay, everybody.
Inside!

You've got to head in, Ezra.

What class do you have? Art?

You know,
I was thinking about it recently.

This fucked-up game
we used to play when I was a kid.

You remember Musical Chairs?

- Yeah!
- Yeah?

- Whoo!
- Whoo! Really? Jesus Christ!

It's like a roomful
of pharmaceutical executives.

You know, I was thinking about
this game.

But you know what the catch is.

If you got a dozen kids,
you only got 11 chairs.

So, who doesn't get a chair,

"Fuck you, you're out," right?

Yeah, it's brutal, it's brutal.

I mean, these kids,
they turn into savages, man, right?

They bite each other,
they kick each other.

They poke each other's eyes out.

What sadist invented this game?

And why do they even call it
Musical Chairs?

There's nothing remotely musical
about Musical Chairs, man.

It's like, uh-- it's like the original
Squid Game or something.

You know, I just, uh--
I got out of prison a couple
days ago.

It's a true story.

Thank you. Thank you.

You know, I, um, put in some
hard time.

Toughest 14 hours of my life.

But, um...

yeah, this doctor, doctor.

Fucking doctor.

Tried to push some drugs
on my kid, so,

you know,
I had to knock him out,

and, uh, they threw me in jail.

Uh, but they offered me a deal.

If I let them give my son

the same drugs
they give to the criminally insane,

they'd drop all the charges.

So I, uh...

took the deal.

My son needed me to go to bat
for him...

and I sold him right the fuck out.

Where are you?
What are you doing? You have a spot.

- You need to get back here.
- I'm not coming back.

Listen, Max,
I really, really want you to fly.

Really high. I really do.

But you have got
to stop bombing the runway.

You know the bit I did
about the meds and Ez,

it's all true, right?

Okay, fine. Then come back and
tell them.

But you gotta come back here.

And they'll understand.
Listen, Kimmel loves kids.

So do I.

Shhh.

Hey, remember when we did
that drill down the fire escape?

You wanna do it again?

Okay.

You gotta trust me, buddy.

Oh, yeah, I got a nice bed
for you back here, Ez, huh?

You got your Star Wars pillow.
I got snacks.

This is gonna be fun!

Hey. What are you doing?
What are you doing?

Don't worry about it.
Go back in the house.

- What do you mean?
- Don't worry about it.

You're not taking the car.

- Just having a little
father-son time.
- You're not taking the car.

- It's a Thrilla in Manila!
- We're not fighting, Ezra.

We're not fighting, just talking.

Frazier whipping the
mighty Ali!

There's a court order out
for you. Are you crazy?
What are you doing?

Down goes Frazier!
Down goes Frazier!

I gotta get him to bed.

Get in the car, Ezra.
Hey, listen to me, okay?

I saw him at that school,
I saw him on those drugs.

They were killing him.
I need to get him away from here.

You're doing it wrong.
What the hell is the matter
with you?

Pop, I swear to God, stop, okay?
Just stop.

You told me to fight, I'm
fighting.
Let's get in the car, Ez.

You're not fighting, you're
running!
What are you doing?

I'm not running. Ezra, get in
the car!

Okay. It's okay.

- I got some waffles for you.
- No.

There's no waffles. Ez, get in
the car.

- You want fresh
whipped cream?
- Stop it, please.

Listen, we're family.
We're the Rice Krispie boys.

He's Snap, you're Crackle, and
who am I?

- Pop-Pop!
- That's right!

And we're not fighting,
we're just sparring.

So show me what you got.

That's it! And, and--

- Oh!
- All right! Knock out!

Good job. Come on, buddy.

In the car. Come on. Let's go.

- This is a mistake.
- Let's go. Okay. Says who?

- Can Pop-Pop come?
- No, Pop-Pop can't come.

Pop-Pop's gonna hold the fort down.
Right, Pop-Pop?

- Where are you taking him?
- I'm going to Nick's in Michigan.

Oh, Jesus. That Greek prick.
Of all the fucking people--

Stop it. He's my best friend.

That guy's a fucking thief!

I take him into my house,
he steals from me.

He didn't steal your saucepan.

I'm not stealing your clothes.
Nobody's stealing anything, okay?

You're making a mistake.
You can't do this.

You know what? Take this, please.
Already have enough problems.

- Thank you!
- This is crazy!

- Say, "Bye, Pop-Pop!"
- Bye, Pop-Pop!

Bye, Pop-Pop!

What the fuck am I doing?

♪ Sisyphus peered
Into the mist ♪

♪ A stone's throw
From the precipice, paused ♪

♪ Did he jump or did he fall

♪ As he gazed into the maw
Of the morning mist? ♪

♪ Did he raise both fists
And say
"To hell with this" ♪

♪ And just let the rock roll?

♪ Let it roll

♪ Let it crash down low

♪ There's a house down there
But I lost it long ago ♪

Ezzie? Ezzie?

Ezzie?

Ezra?

♪ See my house down there
But I lost it long ago ♪

Ezzie?

Ezra? Ezra!

- Did you get a good
night's sleep?
- No.

I bet it's Mom.

I bet you're right. Ugh.

Parental abduction is defined
as one parent taking a child

without permission from the
other parent.

- Yeah.
- You kidnapped Ezra?

I can't be kidnapping if I'm
his father.

Of course it can!
You have a restraining order!

I'm saving my son's life.

Ezzie needs somebody to
advocate for him

the way you and I used to dotogether.

You know I'm right.

No! No, you're not right, Max.
You are wrong, okay?

You need to bring him home now!

- Is that Ezra?
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

- Let go!
- No bananas!

- No bananas!
- No bananas!

- Get his inhaler!
- Excuse me!

Okay, Ezzie. It's all right, breathe.

Breathe! Breathe.
Breathe. Breathe, all right.

I got you. It's okay.
Come on. Come on, come on.

Where's the bathroom?
Where's the bathroom?

Come on. You're okay.

He's all right.

Look, I didn't know that there were

bananas in the oatmeal, right?

- What you're doing is insane!
- Nah, I don't think it is.

That's the problem. You're not thinking.

Trust me, this is very,

very, very bad.

In fact, this is a crime.

Bring him back!

Max?

Holy shit! He hung up on me
again!

Fuck!

You know, you can call the police.

No, I'm not--
I'm not gonna make this worse.

I'm not traumatizing my son.

Hey, buddy,
what's the deal with the
bananas?

- Hmm?
- I start gagging, and I can't
breathe.

Well, okay, but we know that
you're not allergic to bananas, right?

Because we saw that doctor, remember?

So, maybe the banana thing's
in your mind, you know?

I'm growling and I'm mooing,
what am I?

I got no idea, but you're
freakin' me out
there with no shirt on.

Mad cow disease!

Oh, is that original material?

- SpongeBob.
- Ah, I see.

That's why it wasn't funny.

Are you going to prison?

Look, Ez, Dad made a big decision
when I was upset,

and that's never a good idea.

"Bang, bang, bitches.

I'll cut off his head
and feed him to the fishes!"

Okay. Maybe no more Breaking Bad.

Mom might be right about that one.

Bruce wants to kill you.
You can't go home.

- Okay, he's definitely not a
fan--
- No! That's what he said!

What?

- When?
- When I got hit by the cab.

I was coming to Pop-Pop's
to warn you about Bruce.

Okay, hold that thought, buddy.

Are you telling me

that you didn't run
into the street on purpose?

Ezzie?

Ezzie, I need your eyes, okay?

This is very important.

Are you saying that
you didn't run into the street
on purpose?

Am I nuts? A dog tried to bite me.

Did you tell Mom this?

- Don't be mad.
- Nobody's mad.

- There was--
- I wasn't supposed to tell you?

Yes, of course. Hey.

Telling the truth,
that's your biggest superpower.

Huh?

Thanks for telling me.

You know what?

You know what?

I think we gotta dance.

I think we gotta dance.

Come on. Let's find a good station.

Ah! There it is.
Ah. Can you move your butt
muscles?

Come on. Let's go.
Move it up. Into your chest.

Into your shoulders.
Ah, yeah! Let it roll.

Let it roll. Down to the ass.
Back up to the shoulders.

Now some pops. Some claps. Huh?
Elbows up.

Ah, yeah, let it roll.

Let it roll. Come on.
Up into your chest, dude.

Into your chest, Ezzie.

Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Let it roll. Let it roll.

♪ Express yourself

I need to rinse!

Coming.

Hey, Jayne.

- Where the hell are you?
- Uh,

I'm just taking a little time
off with Ez.

Not a good time to take off, Max.

Yeah. I-- I know. I know.
I-- I screwed up.

Yes, you did, and they were
pissed!

Yeah, look, I had a bad night.
It happens, right?

No.[scoffs] Sal Argento had a
bad night.

Yeah. I guess that's something, right?

No, what's something is having
a manager

who gets Jimmy Kimmel to watch
the video.

Video?

What-- what video?

The one I made with my phone!

He wants to book you.

- What?
- I need to rinse!

So you have to get yourself to LA.

They're not gonna fly you.
Is that gonna be a problem?

Uh, no.

- Uh, when?
- Next Friday,

4:00 pm in the Kimmel studio.

Rinse!

Okay. All right. I'm coming. Uh...

- He loved you, Max.
- He loved me, really?

I love you, Jayne.

You're full of shit. Bye.

Rinse!

Okay. I'm coming. I'm coming.
Hey, ow!

Shit! That's boiling hot!
Come on, get out!

Get out! Get out! Get out! Come
on.

What-- what are you doing?
Why-- don't you feel it? It's
hot!

- I don't-- I don't feel hot!
- Okay, it's hot, though.

Okay? Look at your arms.
They're all red!

Mom checks the temperature!

That's fine, but if you see steam,
it means it's too hot, okay?

- God damn it!
- My stupid brain.

- Stop, no. Hey, come on. Sit down.
- Stupid! Stupid!

- Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
- Stop that, okay?

You're not stupid!
You're not-- stop hitting yourself.

Hey, hey, hey, listen to me.
Hey, hey. You're not stupid.

You're not stupid. You're
smart, okay?

If you see steam, it means it's
too hot.
Easy-peasy, okay?

It's on the cards.

We don't have the fucking cards!

I'm sorry.

- Mom uses Bactine.
- Oh, yeah? Well, guess what.

We don't have Bactine, so you
and I,

we're gonna have
to figure it out together, all
right?

There we go. Nice.

You know what? I got a better idea.

I got a better idea. Let go. Here.

Ready? Come on. Stand up.
Stand up. Arms up.

Huh? Armpits. Isn't this fun?

Huh? Does Mom do stuff like
this? No?

I didn't think so. Okay.

We got this!

Why do you always yell?

Because Pop-Pop
used to lock me in the attic

chained to a radiator.

I had to yell so he'd remember
to feed me.

There are no radiators in attics.

You are good. Nothing gets past you.

Boom. There you go.

I want to talk to you about something.

I just got off the phone with
Aunt Jayne.

Turns out Jimmy Kimmel wants me
to be on his show in Los Angeles.

That's far.

Yeah, it is far.

Did you get the part about
Jimmy Kimmel wanting me
to be a guest on his show?

Yeah?

So, you got anything for me?

Any advice for your dad?

Be polite.

"Be polite."

Anything else?

- Nope. Now stop asking me.
- Okay.

But where am I gonna get my
mojo from?

- Mojo man!
- That's right.

Good. Okay.

Let's have a staring contest.

- I don't want to.
- Come on.

- For me? Please.
- No.

- Pretty please?
- No.

What if I make it worth your
while?

If I win, we go trick-or-treat?

Yeah, deal.

Ready? Come on.
First one that blinks loses.

Go, one, two,

three, four...

- Are you autistic?
- ...five, six...

- seven...
- Mom says you are.

...eight--
Mom thinks everyone's autistic--

- nine, ten...
- She thinks you got it from
Pop-Pop,

who gave it to you, who gave it
to me.

Listen to me.
Nobody knows for sure, okay, honey?

Nobody.

But it doesn't matter
'cause you're awesome.

Fourteen, 15, 16...

- Does Mom love me?
- ...seventeen.

Buddy, Mom loves you
more than anything in the world.

Yeah. Okay?

She and I, we're just having
a disagreement right now.

- You blinked! I win!
- Uh! Oh, you did so good.

You did so good. You win.

Good job, buddy.

Let's go. Bring it. Yeah, baby!
Whoo!

Stan, can you open up,
please!

Stan!

We need to talk!

Stan?

Hey, I know you're in there!

Open the door!

Open the door!

Stan, just talk to me, please?

I'm worried about them.

Please?

You don't give a shit!

Huh?

You're going to let Max
ruin his life again!

And your boys too!

Jerk!

♪ Watching a stretch of road

♪ Miles of light explode

♪ Drifting off a thing

♪ I'd never done before ♪

♪ Watching a crowd roll in

♪ Out go the lights it begins

Hey! There they are!

- Hey!
- Hey!

Hello, baby!

Ezzie, get on out here
and give your Uncle Nicky a hug!

Oh, come on, come here!
Hey, where you going, kid? Oh,
I got you.

Oh, that's it. That's it!
You are dead. You're so dead!
Oh!

Hi! I'm Margaret.

How are you?

Wanna help me set the table?

Come on.

- Oh, you're...
- Oh! Look at you!

No chance! Jesus Christ, man.
Huh?

Bottomless s'mores when you run
a camp.

- Endless s'mores.
- Can you get that?

- I'm not gonna carry anything.
- Okay.

What's up with the, uh--
the bad habit there?

That's Sister Margaret from Senegal.

Oh. That's way outta town.

Yeah, she's, uh,
staying with a family in Ann Arbor.

She goes to Michigan.

You know that they want nuns
to have a bachelor's degree?

- Why the fuck would I know that?
- I mean, can you imagine that?

Four years of college
before you can say your vows.

But as long as
she's on my staff,

Catholic church pays
half my expenses.

Huh. Scammin' the Vatican.
I'm proud of you.

- Yeah, huh.
- There's no cheese on it.

Wait 'til you try it. It's
incredible.

She uses ancient
Senegalese spices.

I got the spice
from Costco.

- Whoa!
- Costco.

That sounds exotic! Costco.

I thought you brought it from Senegal.

No. You're mixing up the cheeses.

And she puts goat--
she puts goat in the lasagna.

- What's wrong?
- Metal hurts my teeth.

Okay, but you know,
plastic hurts the planet. So...

Oh, I got some plastic
right in the store room, I can
just--

No, no. We're okay.
We're gonna use the fork.

It's okay--

It's mind over matter
like the bananas.

Come on, Ezzie, try it.

Ezzie.

E-- Ez, come on. That's not polite.

Pick up the fork and try it please.

- Ez?
- I-- I need plastic.

- Mom has plastic!
- Okay. Well, Mom's not here.

Ezra. Where you going?

- Ezra?
- I need plastic!

- You don't listen to me!
- Sorry, guys.

Ez, come on. Come on back, please.

It hurts me!

- Because they're razor sharp!
- Ezzie! Ezzie!

- It's not in my mind!
- Ezzie!

- Ezra, come and sit down!
- I'm not taking it!

I'll make you a deal. I'll let
you eat with your fingers

if you try a fork once.

- It hurts! It hurts!
- Once, Ezra.

I would take that deal.

- I need plastic!
- Sounds like a good deal.

Plus, I'm gonna use my fingers, too.

So will I.

Once, Ezzie?

Deal?

Okay! Let's do it! Let's get to
work!

All right!

Come on, Max. Join the party.

Join the lasagna party. Now--
oh, God.

- Oh, man. Of course.
- Oh, my!

"They each shouldered the heavy pack
and the water skin

which was their share,

then turned from the light
that lay on the lands outside

and plunged into the forest."

You can go now.

Ezzie, did you just--

For me?

You can go now.

Okay?

Goodbye.

Okay.

Max, oh, my goodness,
I have a crush on your son.

Ah, he'll break your heart.

Don't worry. I can take it.

All right, but you know what?

If there's no future, Sister,
let's not lead him on.

Hey, hey. I haven't taken my
vows yet.

- Oh!
- Uh-oh. [chuckles] Okay.

Good night.

- Good night.
- Smoking, huh?

The wages of sin is death.

Did she just bless you?

She does it every time she leaves.

I think it's making me a better man.

Look, I-- I don't want to be sacrilegious,
but I think this could be love.

Hey.

I'm Greek Orthodox,

and we don't go there.

Okay?

And she, oh-- she's a holy spirit.

- All right. Here you go.
- I'm just saying, man.

House in the woods, summer
camp, hot nun.

Yeah, it sure beats
telling dick jokes to drunken tourists.

Hey, it's a living.

It wasn't for me.

So why are you here?

What do you mean? I needed a
little Nicky.

You got a little bit of Nicky,

and, uh, Nicky's a little concerned.

You haven't signed
the papers yet, have you?

Seriously?

- That's it. You blew my high.
- Are you gonna cry?

Do you wanna cry? You wanna let
it go?

Come to Papa Bear. Come on.

I tried to give her everything, Nick.

But where would she put it?

- God bless Steven Wright.
- Ah.

"All those who believe in psychokinesis

- raise my hand."
-"Raise my hand."

I broke into Jenna's house
in the middle of the night,

and I kidnapped Ezra.

All right, I'll play along.

Why did you break into Jenna's
house
and kidnap Ezra?

Ezzie snuck out of Jenna's
and got hit by a cab.

What?

His doctor said
he might've done it on purpose.

Shit!

You think that was true?

No! Wha-- you kidding me?

Every day he wakes up,
that kid chooses life.

Oh, good.

That's good.

So why'd you do it?

Jenna thinks he should go
to a special needs school, and
I don't.

- Why not?
- Because in public school,

you know, he'll learn how to fight,
learn how to protect himself.

What are you, the great Santini?

What are you-- what are you
talking about?

I see people move away from Ez, right?

He has a temper tantrum
or he's just walking down the street.

You know, people aren't trying
to be mean,
it's just that it's easier.

You know the word "autism"
comes from the Greek

"in your own world."

I don't want him
in his own world, Nick. I--

I want him in
this world.

You make it back okay?

Put Max on the phone.

Oh, my God.

I don't have your pan.

Hello.

- Hello?
- Yeah, I'm right here, Pop.

What do you think,
the world stopped for you

- to hang out with this idiot?
- What are you talking about?

She took my son and I took him
back!

You made a promise,
you didn't keep your promise.

She's throwing rocks at my
window now.

- Hang up the phone.
- Hello?

I'm coming there tomorrow!

- No!
- Then listen to me carefully.

Call Ezzie's mom.

- You hear me? Call Ezzie's mom.
- I don't have your pan.

- Where are you?
- Uh, don't worry about it.

- Where are you? Where are you?
- You know, Jen, I gotta say,

in spite of everything
that we've been through,

I-- I really believed you
when you said that no matter what,

we were gonna treat
each other like family,

and we were gonna be
honest with each other.

- Remember you said that?
- You haven't been honest, Max.

You took him,
and you need to bring him home!

L-Let me ask you something.

Did Ezra tell you that
the reason he ran into the street

was because he thought
he was gonna get bit by a dog?

Yes, I mean, what difference
does it make?

He ran out of the house
in his pajamas, barefoot,

and he nearly got hit by a cab!

Yeah, because he heard your boyfriend
say he was gonna kill me.

Yeah, and he was coming to
warn me.

Okay, y-- you're scaring me
now, Max.

I'm scaring you?
Why don't you ask your
boyfriend?

You know Ezzie doesn't lie!

Okay. Hey, hey, you-- you're
right.

You are family. You are.

But you need
to just bring him home now, okay?

Come home,
and we'll talk about all of this.

None of this is easy,

but all I ever wanted
was just to protect our boy.

Well, I'm protecting him now.

And leave my father alone.

You waited four days
to call about a missing child

taken by a man you're divorcing,

who has a restraining order
keeping him from seeing that child.

- Is that about right?
- I know how it sounds.

He's his father.

You don't think he'd hurt your
son?

No. No, no, absolutely not.

All right. Um, let's make a few calls.

We'll see if we can find him,
and, um, put a trace on his phone.

No disrespect, Mike, but no.

I'm sorry, miss, but right now
I'm not feelin' good about this.

- You understand?
- Yeah, I understand.

Good, because from a missing
and exploited child perspective,

we need to issue an Amber Alert now.

Are you sure this situation
warrants--

Margo, let's just start
with a missing person's report

Amber is for situations
exactly like this one.

And we're late, ma'am.

I'm afraid it's not your decision.

You know how to do
it?

Hey, that's nice. Thank you.

- Packed up and ready to go.
- Okay.

I don't think
that kid's ready to go, though.

- Hmm?
- You see him over there

- making lanyards with Sister
Margaret?
- Yeah.

Kid's trying to steal my girl.

They look good together.

I think it's the autism. Chicks
dig it.

Sometimes I think
I might be on the spectrum.

I think you check a lot of the boxes.

- Yeah.
- But, nah, I just think

you're a strange dude.

Yeah, I'm just uncomfortable
in social situations.

It's good you're out here.

- Yeah. Keeps me away from...
- Everyone.

- People.
- Yeah. Yeah.

You guys are welcome to stay.

Oh, buddy. I'd love to stay,
but we can't.
I gotta be in LA.

What's in LA?

I booked Kimmel.

- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Yeah, it's not--

You wouldn't lead with that?
That's amazing!

- Yeah, it's okay.
- Max, come on!

- Kimmel, that's great!
- Yeah.

Best I did is get bumped from Arsenio.
Worst night of my life.

Hasselhoff segment ran long.

I'll tell you what, you go to LA,

you work on your set, you get relaxed,

you get focused, you get centered,
take care of yourself.

Leave Ezra with me.

Me and Margaret will take care
of him--

I can't do it, buddy.

- I gotta have him with me.
- Why not?

Because I need him.
He keeps my feet on the ground.

All right, fine.

I'll bake you a cake
and bring it to you in prison.

Okay, well, make sure
you throw Stan's saucepan in there.

I don't have the pan.

Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Carlton.
Have a lovely day.

Where are they?

What do you mean? Just call him.

He doesn't answer. He's just
like you.

I-- well, I can't talk.
I'm working. I can't.

Hello, Mrs. C.
And how are you today, young
ladies?

- Hi, Stan!
- Score a goal,

there's a box
of Cracker Jacks in there for you.

Cracker Jacks are no good for
her teeth.

There's gonna be an Amber Alert.

What do you mean?
You called the cops on him?

Where is Ezzie?

He's with his father.
You shouldn't have done that.

That's a-- that's a very bad
thing to do.

- I did a bad thing?
- Yes.

- You're making it so he can't
see him.
- Max did that!

- What did you expect him to do?
- Not kidnap him!

You made it kid-- you made it kidnapping.

Please. Please.

- Stan, I don't--
- How could you do that?

Amber Alert. Do you know what
that is?

- I don't wanna fight.
- Well, I don't wanna fight either,

but all of a sudden
you don't believe in him.

Now you're gonna-- Amber Alert?

I got tired of not knowing
what he was gonna do on any
given day.

I'm already so tired with Ezzie.
Please, I just--

I'm-- I'm scared. I'm tired.
I'm alone. And I need help.

Rice Krispies boys make me
really tired.

All right, well, we're gonna
have to--

we're gonna have to get to 'em
before the cops do.

- We?
- Yeah, we. Yeah.

The shift ends, we start driving.

Take 11 hours to get to Michigan.

Hopefully, get to them by tomorrow.

He's at Nick's?

Yes. He's with Nick.
I'm not happy about that, but yes.

Unfortunately,
we're going to Nick's. Yeah.

I have a self-destructive
personality.

But it's okay
'cause I recently had a breakthrough.

After thousands
of hours of hypnosis therapy,

I finally met my inner child.

And he had a gun.

Yeah, oh, hey. What's up,
little guy?

Whoa. Okay. Well, what?

Okay, come on.
Put-- put the gun down. Put the
gun down.

I'm trying to do a show here.

Can you get back in my psyche
please?
Thank you.

Anyway, my therapist said to me,
"Max, you're an adult now.

You don't need your inner child.
He can't help you anymore."

I said, "Oh, yeah, really, Mark?

He's got a gun. What do you got?

I'm taking this little sociopath
with me everywhere I go."

Thank you, Lansing!

Great audience. Have a great
night!

Come on, everybody,
let's hear it for Max Bernal!

Let's have a, um, whiskey neat

and another pineapple juice
for my manager here.

Pineapple juice coming right up.

You really should get the boy home.

- Okay.
- He's your son, right?

Uh, yeah. That's-- uh, that's
my son.

It's after 12:00. I was
watching him.

He doesn't seem happy here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.
You were watching him during my
set?

- And now I'm offended. I got
this, Ez.
- No, Dad, Dad...

- I got it.
- No child should be in this club.

Especially not a child with issues.

- Issues?
- Yeah.

- I can't hear.
- Really? Let me ask you something.

Do I come to where you work
and knock the cock outta your
mouth?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- That's my wife.
- Oh, really?

I'm sorry to hear that,
but she should mind
her own fucking business.

Hey, hey, hey!

Dad!

Come on, Ezra!

- They were the owners.
- Like I said, Ez, I didn't know.

- They were the owners.
- We covered this already, okay?

That's enough now.

- I wanna go home.
- Hey, buddy, I'm sorry, okay?

- I want to go home!
- It was my bad.

Okay, listen to me, Ezzie, okay?

Sometimes life's gonna get
messy, okay?

And if it does, that's okay.

You know, people say life's
gotta be neat,

it's gotta be nice, but it
doesn't.

- You hear me?
- Yes.

Okay.

All right, that's good.

Go to sleep. That's--

that's a good idea.

I really appreciate
this, Stan.

A mother's job is never done.

Or a father's.

I guess I don't even know anymore.

Here. Turn here. Here.

There he is. There he is.
Get close. Look, look.

Okay. Okay.

Shit!

Look at your guilt on
your face.

- What are you doing?
- What am I doing?

- Run, Zorba, run!
- Get off my property!

Yeah, run! Come on, run!

- Fuck you, Stan!
- Yeah, fuck you!

Come on, I told you,
I don't know where they went!

I thought you had more sense, Nick.

Yeah, well,
I thought you had a heart, Jenna.

- Think about Ezra!
- My kid is out there!

- Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Where is he?

I'm gonna plunge this
into your heart right now

unless you tell me exactly
where they are!

Where are they?

They went to go do Kimmel in LA!

He got Kimmel?

Yeah.

I know. He booked Kimmel.

Can you believe it?

I mean, he's funny but--

Wait, please don't tell Max
that I ratted him out.

I'm not strong.

- Ow!
- Stop whining!

God.

Meet me in the car.
I've got some unfinished business.

Please, please,
don't leave me alone with him.

Okay, I'm going to put this
in as loving a way as possible.

You need help!

Oh, hi, this is Jayne Green's
assistant.

I was wanting to confirm
the date and time
for Max Bernal's appearance.

Yes, I, uh, accidentally
deleted an email.

Oh, great! Thank you so much.

Appreciate it. Take care.

Let's go.

I'm gonna get a coffee.

- Ooh, there's candy.
- Hey, you've had enough sugar.

Uh, can I have a black coffee
please?

- Sure thing.
- Thanks.

Hey, dude, where can I get
a local motel you can suggest?

Uh, yeah,
you got the Jersey plates, right?

- Uh-huh.
- '71 El Do?

- Yeah.
- Sweet.

Yeah. Hey, hey, sir, you--
you got a great-- great eye for cars.

Ah, only sort of.
Uh, my grandma's got an El Do.

So, five exits, Best Western,
includes breakfast and biscuits.

- Oh. Great. Which way? That way?
- That way.

Hey, look, I'm on TV!

Yeah, look at that, buddy.
Your commercial's running everywhere.

- This should help.
- Yeah.

Child actor, we're on our way
to Hollywood

for a big screen test.

- Not true.
- Why don't you go

- wait for me in the car, yeah?
- Hey, wait!

Have I seen you in anything?

Sanford and Son. It will be
remade!

Hey, let me get your autograph.
Sign it "To Tim."

"You'll never catch me alive,
Tim!"

DUI Checkpoint. What the
hell?

- Whoa!
- What's wrong?

Nothing! Go back to sleep, buddy.

- Come on, it's late.
- What are you doing?

- Just taking a shortcut.
- To where?

- Best campsite in Nebraska.
- This isn't a shortcut!

- Yeah, it is!
- No, it's not!

I can see the road right
there-- shit!

Fuck!

Ez? Ez, where are ya? You okay?

Ezzie?

I want to go home!

Ez.

Ez! Fuck! Fuck! Hey, come on,
buddy!

Okay.

Come on, where are you?

Ez?

Ezzie?

Fuck!

Ezzie!

Ezzie!

Ez!

Ezzie!

- Hey! Stop!
- No!

Stop!

- Hey! Hey! I said stop, okay?
- Ow!

Stop! I said stop!

I told you to stop!

What are you gonna do?

Hit me? You wanna hit me? Come
on, hit me!

No! I'm-- I'm not, I'm not.

No, I just-- you scared me, buddy.

You freaked me out. I'm sorry.
Okay?

Why did you take me?

Why did you take me
if you don't know how to help
me?

I don't know, buddy.

You're my superhero.
I just-- you're everything.

You're my mojo.

I'm not your superhero!

I'm not your mojo! I'm not your
buddy!

I'm your son! And you're my dad!

My dad! My dad! My dad! My dad!
My dad!

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

- I hate you.
- It's okay.

I hate you.

- Hello?
- Pop?

Hello?

I almost hit my kid.

Wh-- what happened?

What h-- what happened?

- I-- I almost--
- What?

I almost hit Ezra.

Where are you? Shit.

- I-- I'm in the-- I'm in the woods.
- Where, where, where?

The fucking woods.
I don't know where, okay?

I just-- I almost hit Ezra, and
I--

I don't know where to put all
this, Pop.

I don't know where to put
all this fucking rage.

You don't put it anywhere.
You just-- you bury it.

Yeah, okay.
But I'm asking you, what do I
do?

You know what to do!
You can't--

I don't.
I don't know what to do, man.

I'm in a forest,
I'm losing my shit,

and I don't know what to do,
so I thought that maybe,

just maybe you might just be
like a normal dad

and give me some fucking
advice!

Max, shut up.
What are you talking about?

I'm trying to talk to you about
it now.

And then you want some advice?

I'll give you some advice.

It's this simple.

Bite your arm off, tie yourself
to a tree,

do whatever you need to do
to not hit your kid.

It's that simple.

You understand?

Look what happened with us.
It killed me.

You cannot hit him. You cannot
hit him!

Okay, I-- Yeah, I get it.

Are you sure you do?
Because if you did,

you'd know it's time
to throw in the towel

on this stupid trip.

- It's not a stupid trip.
- Yes, it is.

It's not, Pop. It's not stupid.

Yes, it is. It's stupid.

How are you gonna feel
if you end up back in jail?

Then what?

Where are you? I'll come get you.

Fuck. Fuck.

You can't even say the word.

It's just a word.

Autism.

Yeah, whatever.

Saying it out loud,
it'll help Ezzie in his life.

Nah, you know,
I don't-- I'm not sure about that.

We gotta be able
to talk about this and not...

Okay, tell me.
What do you want to talk about?

I don't want to be hiding about it.

I want to talk about it.
I want to give it a name.

I want to get--
I want to get all the help we
can get.

Who's hiding? Who's hiding?
Nobody's hiding.

Max is hiding him right now!
He took him, he's hiding him!

He's not hiding him,
he's taking him somewhere.

You think he's gonna kill him?
He's gonna--

I don't think--
of course I don't think that.

I don't think that, but he
scared me.

You know he's gonna take him
somewhere or do something.

But that doesn't mean
he's gonna do anything bad to him.

I don't know.

The fragility of Max
and his mental state,

and his situ-- he's--
he flies off the handle.

He doesn't know how to control Ezzie.

He doesn't know everything that
he needs.

No, he doesn't.
But neither do you. Nobody knows.

- I--
- It's what it is.

It's a condition that just is there.

We have to deal with it.

And I know you--
I know you think

my side gave him
what you say he's got.

- I never said that.
- You didn't have to.

I never said that.

And my wife did the same thing.
I had the same fights with her.

- Do not compare me to his mother.
- I'm not comparing you, but--

Don't compare me to his mother.

I'm not comparing you,
but there is a similarity.

I'm sorry. It is what it is.

I devoted my life to this family.

I'm devoting my life to this family.
That woman abandoned him.

I don't even know what happened
because you don't talk about it,

and Max doesn't talk about it,
so nobody talks about anything.

But-- but what she did was unforgivable.

Don't compare me to her.

How dare you.

It was a--

it was a long time ago,
so it's all over with now.

I can't believe
you grew up around here.

Yeah, I know, right?

Pop-Pop met my mother in New York,

and then, well, we all moved to Nebraska.

Why did your mother leave?

Uh, you know, it's funny, buddy.

I-- I don't really know.

That's not funny.

You're right. It's not funny.

You know, I just--
I woke up one morning, and she
was gone.

And I guess, uh,

I guess after so many years,

I just worked it out for myself

that she must have been
pretty sad

to do something like that, right?

She was a terrible mother.

You're right. She was.

She was.

All right, come on. Let's
go.

Hey, folks, thank you again.

- Thank you so much.
- Bye. Be safe now.

What a nice couple.

I bet-- I bet they've been together
since they were your age.

- I'm going to die a virgin.
- What? No, that's bullshit.

Someone out there who loves dinosaurs,

Dostoevsky and Family Guy.

- You watch.
- And live action D&D.

And live action D&D.
There you go. You know what you want.

What are we doing here?

The lady who lives here
is an old friend of your dad's.

This place looks like
a demon movie waiting to happen.

Let's hope not, huh?

Ah!

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, hey!

- Hi.
- What--

- Hi.
- Oh, no!

- Hi!
- Hi, Grace. Hi!

What are you doing here?

That's a-- that's a long story.

Um, Grace, this is Ezra.

Nice to meet you, Ezra.

Heard a lot about you.

- I've never heard about you.
- Yeah.

- Who's here, Mom?
- Oh, wow.

- You're--
- This is my Ruby.

Way different from your baby picture.

I hope so.

- Hi.
- This is an old friend, Max.

And his son Ezra.

Hi.

Do you wanna come play with
Harper and me?

Come on! Harper!

- This is a surprise.
- Yeah, I know.

- Mm.
- You think we can go inside?

I'm kind of a fugitive from the law.

- What the hell?
- I'm not joking.

Come on!

Harper!

Does...

does Harper always follow you?

All the time.

Lucky dog.

Get off of me!

Ridgeway has tried to push me
into Jack's pond.

- You loved it!
- You wish!

- You moving on my
girl, man?
- Uh, I'm not his girl.

Introduce us, Rubes.

- Ezra, Ridgeway and Cally.
- Where are you from?

He's from back east.

Wow, look at him go.

Please don't be a dick.

"No one cared who I was
until I put on the mask."

That was pretty random, freak.

"Who is Bane? Why does he wear
the mask?"

Dark Knight is my obsession.

Let's go.

So tell me again.

Oh, I just ran out of patience.

Which happens to all parents.

Yeah, but what I was seeing--

He wasn't safe.

And now he is?

Appears safe to me.

- Ugh... I don't know, Max.
- What?

Why don't you let me call Jenna?

No, no, no, no.
Look, I already called her, okay?

She knows he's okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm not gonna fight you on it,
all right?

So eat your sandwich, wash up,

and hitchhike off to LA.

Look, I know this all seems
insane, but...

- Yeah.
- ...I didn't know where else to go.

So...

So let me help you.

I can't-- I got-- I gotta
finish this, Grace.

I do, you know. That kid is--

is the one thing that I can't
get wrong.

That's right. That's right, you
can't.

- Because he's perfect.
- No.

He's not, Grace. He's not perfect.

And everybody's trying to make
him be

just like everybody else.

Me included, right?

And then
one day he might magically wake up

and become the coolest, most
amped up

and normal kid
that's ever walked the face of
the earth.

And that is not gonna happen.

It's not.

It's not. It's never gonna happen.

So, I have to protect him,

you know, and if I can't
protect him,

well, then, he's not gonna make it.

And I--

Do you want caramel or fudge?

Both.

You're so bad.

Oh, my God! You have to try
this, Ezra!

Come on. I won't take no for an answer.

Uh-uh.

You won't regret it.

♪ Torn down

How good is that?

♪ Full of aching

♪ Somehow

You okay?

♪ Our youth would take the
blame ♪

♪ Worn out

Yeah, I mean, nobody
uses it.

Oh, my God.

- Here she is!
- Oh!

I gotta lay hands on her.

Oh, I'm getting the vibes.

We did everything in this bucket.

You know what?

If she starts, take her.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay. Thank you.

I'll-- I'll get it back to you
just as soon all this blows over.

It's okay. It's gonna be fine, Max.

It's gonna be fine.

You just need to stop biting
the dog.

♪ Climb down

- What-- what do you mean?
- Sixth grade.

A dog was coming toward us,
and you bit the dog.

Oh!

- Yeah, well--
- You bit it.

I was-- I was trying to protect you.

- Oh, right. Come on!
- I was protecting you.

Come on! I mean, the dog
wasn't even gonna bite me or you.

The poor thing ran off
with its tail between its legs.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Listen, not everyone
is trying to bite you, Max.

♪ Hallowed

You want to feed him?

Have you ever ridden one before?

How would you feel if you left here

and didn't even pet
one of these gorgeous animals?

Like a loser.

Okay.

So, let's start with how to
greet a horse.

You approach a horse from the side
so he can see you.

Then you pat him right here
on the side of his face.

Then you say in the nicest way,
"Hello, Bosco."

Hello, pasture king.

I bet he likes pastures.

And he likes you.

You can tell?

You bet.

Just look him in the eye.

Looking a horse in the eye
is like sharing your soul.

You just made a friend for life.

♪ I will carry you always

Uh, Mom, Tom's at the door.

- Ooh!
- Who's Tom?

- All right, uh, Max, keys are
in the car.
- Okay.

Cally, Ridgeway, show him the
horse trail.

- Ruby, take Ezra, go get his bags.
- Okay.

Go. Go! Go!

Okay, don't forget your
dinosaur, okay?

- Go, go.
- Hey.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

- Hey, Tom, what's up?
- Sorry to bother you, Grace.

I got a couple swear

they gave a father and kid
a ride

and dropped them off here.

Seems the father
kidnapped the kid from New Jersey.

That's horrible. What can I do?

I'm sorry.
Would you mind if I had a look
around?

- This woman's really upset.
- No, not at all. Come on in, Tom.

- Yeah.
- Thanks. It'll just be a minute.

- Hey! Don't flood it!
- Okay.

I guess this is it.

All right, you two, get a room!

"I don't mean to be rude,
but that was not as easy as it looked,

so I would appreciate it
if you wouldn't distract me."

The Princess Bride.

Kid's a genius.

Can we get a horse?

Dude, we live in Hoboken.

Yeah. That's what I thought.

Hey, Ez, you understand
why I'm doing this, don't you?

Of course, you want to be on
Jimmy Kimmel.

Any father would.

No, no. That's not it.

I mean, s-sure, but it's more
than that.

You know, um...

you know how Pop-Pop gave up
being a chef

and then he took that job as a
doorman?

Well, he did that for me.

That makes no sense.

Well, that makes perfect sense,
actually, buddy.

Because--

because, you know, a dad's job

is to take his son down the field.

- What field?
- Any field, you know?

Football field.

Football causes brain injuries.

Okay, that's true, but in this case,
it's a metaphor, right?

- Right.
- So-- so a dad's gotta--

he's gotta go down that field, right?

And-- and if he gets tackled
before he scores--

- Game over.
- Except that it's not.

'Cause all that dad wants, right,

is... is for that kid to pick
up the ball
where his dad got tackled

and to take it the rest of the way.

- Touchdown!
- Exactly.

He's gotta keep going until he scores.

Anyway...

that's why I'm going to Kimmel.

You're a good dad.

You want some coffee?

Yeah. Love some.

Why don't you get a table
in the House of Pies over there.

I'll meet you right there.
I just wanna fill it up.

I'll see you inside.

See you inside.

What do you wanna drink?

"Life's a sport, drink it up."

Okay. What's that code for?

"Looks like we've got
another mystery on our hands."

I love the quotes, okay,
but not for every situation, right?

This nice lady's got her work
to do.

Iced tea, please.

My man, Ezra.

Dropping quotes and flying
without a net

so that he could order himself
a--

"Iced tea, please."

- Where you going?
- Hey, what's going on?

My name's Ezra.

And I'm going to tell you all a joke.

Where do horses go when they're
sick?

To the horsepital!

Yeah.

Thank you!
You've been a wonderful
audience!

Wow. First original joke.

- I'm proud of you.
- New material is not easy.

Hey, buddy, I'm gonna go,
um, wash my hands, okay?

- I'll be right back.
- Okay.

Okay.

To the horsepital.

To the horsepital.

What are you doing here?

Never mind that.
Listen, I need to--

- How did you find me?
- We don't have time for this.

How did you find me all the
way out here?

We were at the House of Pies.
I saw you over there.

- Who? We who?
- Me and Jenna. She's there.

- It's okay.
- Je-- Okay.

Oh, Pop, you got some balls.
Listen to me.

- Will you shut up?
- No, you shut up.

I'm trying to tell you something.

You go back
to the House of Pies,

and you never saw me.

Shut up. I'm trying to tell you something.

I'm not here to stop you.

I'm here to apologize.

- For what?
- Well-- Look.

I'm sorry.

I-- you know, I-- that's all,
I'm sorry.

What are you talking about?
What happened? What?

Your mother left, and--

and I loved her, but I--
I was impossible to live with,

and I never really
told you about any of that, and
so, I--

- I'm sorry.
- What do you mean?

Mom left because I was a pain
in the ass.

- That's what you told me.
- No, I was the pain in the ass.

It was me. All I ever did was
fight. And every fight
I ever had

was against someone
I thought had it in for me.

And those kinds of fights
you never really win.

You just go from one person to another
until there's nobody left.

And then when I wasn't
fighting, I was--

I was-- I was hiding--
I was hiding

in restaurant kitchens,
boxing gyms.

I was-- Now I'm hiding
holding doors open for strangers.

I'm-- I'm-- I just--

I hid because I didn't know
what else
to do, I--

I didn't know how to do
what I see you doing.

What?

You're fighting for something

that means something.

Maybe it's too much,
but you're trying to do the
right thing.

And you're in the fight
of your life for your son.

And if you get arrested,
you're gonna get arrested.

But as far as I'm concerned,
you're my heavyweight champion.

'Cause I had a problem.

I had a problem with your mother,
and I'll never forget.

I wish that I had done what you did.

You might have to suffer consequences,

but it's-- it's worth it
'cause you did it for the right reasons.

You did it because you love
your kid.

Taking him out of the bed
in the middle of the night--

- A felony.
- No, no, no.

Took a lot of courage.

Believe it or not, it might've
been the best thing you ever
could've done.

And what you're always worried
about, not having a family,
you gotta stop that.

And I'm here, and Ezzie's there,

and the woman in the House of
Pies, well,

it'll all be all right with her.

That'll all work itself out
eventually, but you gotta know

that you have a family
that loves you

and that needs you
and that cares about you.

- Now be careful.
- Okay.

- I gotta get back.
- Okay.

Okay.

All right, so you recognize
any of these names, buddy?

Yeah. Sidney Poitier.

"They call me Mr. Tibbs."

Of course. Stupid question. My bad.

"Toto, I have a feeling
we're not in Kansas anymore."

- Dorothy is Liza Minelli's mom.
- Okay.

- And that's a fact.
- Pick up the pace, okay?

- Come on.
-"Crying?

There's no crying in baseball!"

Come on. Come on.

- Is Jimmy here?
- He might stop in to say hi.

Oh, good. My son's a big fan.

No, I'm not.

Park there.

- This is handicap.
- Yeah. Take the spot.

- It's handicap.
- Take that spot.

Do as much of your set
as you want for the soundcheck.

- How's the mojo today, good?
- Good till the last drop.

- Hey, Max.
- Yeah.

- See the box?
- Uh-huh.

Don't step outside the box,
don't look at Jimmy,

and do not go over your time.

- You good?
- Jesus. At ease.

- Batteries in this thing?
- I hope so.

- Ezra, I got a front row seat
for you.
- Okay.

Check, check, check.
Is that mic down over there?
That's it?

Great. Thanks.
How's everybody doing tonight?

Good? Hello? Ah.

I gotta stay in the box.
Gotta stay in the box.

Hi there.

Hi, did Max Bernal arrive
with a young boy?

Both very handsome.

Just have a way of looking at
things through a negative lens.

Which makes sense,
you know, I was a breach baby.

My dad says I came out with a
black eye.

He says I popped out,
and the first thing I said was,

"Who thought this was a good
idea?"

It's right through here.

My son came up to me
the other day,

he said,
"Dad, you're an awfulizer."

I said, "Honey,
I don't think "awfulizer" is a
word."

- He says, "Yes, it is."
- Yeah!

There he is, my son.

I think he might be on
to something actually.

I think I am an awfulizer.

Because truth be told

I can take any situation
and just...

make it worse.

Mr. Bernal. I'm Special Agent Costa.

FBI. We're here to take you
into custody.

Okay. I-- I can't believe this.

- Can you not do this in front
of my kid?
- Hi, Ezra.

I'm Jessica.

We're going to take
a little walk, all right?

I've travelled all the way
across the country with my son.

I understand
that you came across the country.

Ezzie, it's fine. It's
fine.

- Let's go get some
ice cream.
- Ezzie.

Your daddy just needs to talk
to my friend Joe.

Everything's fine, Ezra, okay?
My--

Don't touch my kid!

- Don't touch my son!
- He doesn't like to be
touched!

- Don't touch him!
- It's okay, Ezzie.

It's okay. It's okay. Look, I know.

I called you myself, and I made
a mistake.

It's okay, Ezzie.
It's okay. We're all here.

It's okay. It's okay, Ezzie.

- Ma'am, I need you to back off.
- I need you to back off!

This is my son. Hi!

Hey, baby. Ezzie. Hey, buddy.
You okay?

Hi. Hi.

Ezzie, I missed you.

Ez? You okay, buddy?

Did you have a good time?
How was the trip?

- I talked to a horse.
- What?

That's amazing.

I wish I'd been there.

I'm sorry, ma'am,
but we still need to arrest Mr. Bernal.

I'm the one who called you.
I made a mistake.

As you can see, my son is fine,
so--

- We don't have a choice, ma'am.
- You do have a choice.

I am his mother, this is his father,
this is his grandfather.

We are a family,
and we are taking him home together.

So thank you very much.
There's no need for any of this anymore.

- Okay, everybody just
stay calm.
- Hey, man. It's okay.

- You need to calm down.
- No, I am calm.

Hey! He's not resisting!

I'm not resisting.
She's not pressing charges,
right, Jenna?

- We're calling off the charges.
- Come on! Stop!

Dad!

Get off my dad!

- Get off!
- I gotta finish.

Dad, eyes. Dad! Dad! Eyes.

It's okay. It's okay.

You got tackled.

Give me the ball.

Calm down. It's
okay.

Okay.

- Okay. Let's go!
- Coming.

Come on, come on, come on.
We're gonna be late! Come on!

Morning. I know you have to deal
with this house arrest stuff,

but would you mind
picking him up from school?

I have an inspection I can't
get out of.

Yeah. Sure.
I just have to tell my
probation guy.

Okay. Hey, hey, hey.

Remember, just don't talk too fast.

What you did last night was brilliant.

"For Whom The Bell Tolls.
Today, it tolls for me."

That's gonna be a good presentation.

- All right, bye-bye. Break a leg.
- Come on.

Let's go before they lock us out.

- Want me to carry that?
- Sure.

You know, when Hemingway was my age,

you know what his parents
got him for his birthday?

No, what?

His dad got him a shotgun,

and his mom, a violin.

- Hemingway played the violin?
- No.

Fifty years later,
he used that shotgun to--

Really?

Look it up.

Wow. I did not know that.

Well, guess who's getting
violin lessons.

Oh, buddy, I'm so happy
you're excited about this
school, huh?

- Finally got it right.
- Yeah.

Mom was right.

Can't you cover that thing with
your sock?

What?
I don't like the way it feels
on my skin.

- Texture thing, you know?
- It's blinking.

- Beep.
- Okay. You know what?

Are you gonna bring it in?

Fine.

You can go now.

Okay.

Have a good day.

Remember, the last time
this guy was here, he got arrested.

Oh, wow.

- Max?
- Jimmy?

- Hey, man. How you doing?
- Man, you look great.

Great to have you here. This is Guillermo.

- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Top security guy.

- How's your son doing?
- Ezzie's great, man, yeah.

He'd be here, but you know,
I can't take him out of the state.

Yeah, right. Guess not.
Yeah, I guess he can't.

So, I was telling him,
remember the last time Max was here,

he was almost on the show,
but he got arrested.

He, um, rescued his son from school.

- Yeah?
- That's how I see it.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

But, uh, anyway,
it's great to have you here.

Sorry about that.

I forgot to tell you.

I gotta bring-- I had to bring
my probation officer with me.

- This is your probation officer?
- Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

- He has to stay with you all
the time?
- Yeah.

- He's very cute.
- Hey, man. What's up?

I'll be right here, all right?

At least he's a good-looking
guy.

- All right, well, break a leg.
- Okay.

- Glad you're finally here.
- Safety first.

- Yeah. Thanks.
- Yeah, that's true.

- I'll see you out there.
- Okay. See you.

♪ I remember that shirt you
had ♪

♪ Bought the same one
So we would match ♪

♪ Snuck into your bedroom
Window ♪

♪ Footprints let us go

♪ You wear a wig and glasses

♪ I smoke and hide the ashes

♪ I'll carry you downfield

♪ Code only yours to reveal

♪ So let yourself be Ezra

♪ We'll sing the words
To your song ♪

♪ So let yourself be Ezra

♪ You don't have to right
What's wrong ♪

♪ And in the morning
Can't you see ♪

♪ The sun is coming up
For you ♪

♪ Your timing's never
Too soon ♪

♪ Everybody needs a light

♪ We're dancing in the car

♪ We're fighting after dark

♪ But when the sun comes up

♪ I'm glad to be kids like us

♪ I hope you one day
You learn ♪

♪ I'm here to ease the burn

♪ Growing up never ends

♪ But we won't break,
We'll bend ♪

♪ So let yourself be Ezra ♪

♪ We'll sing the words
To your song ♪

♪ So let yourself be Ezra

♪ You don't have to right
What's wrong ♪

♪ And in the morning
Can't you see ♪

♪ The sun is coming up
For you ♪

♪ Your timing's never
Too soon ♪

♪ Everybody needs a light

♪ So let yourself be Ezra

♪ We'll sing the words
To your song ♪

♪ So let yourself be Ezra

♪ You don't have to right
What's wrong ♪

♪ And in the morning
Can't you see ♪

♪ The sun is coming up
For you ♪

♪ Your timing's never
Too soon ♪

♪ Everybody needs

♪ A light