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1
00:00:51,223 --> 00:00:54,778
I was right. I was right.
2
00:00:54,882 --> 00:00:57,643
Now, that's nice. That's
got me, that's good.
3
00:00:57,747 --> 00:00:59,749
Most people don't
get me, you know.
4
00:01:00,474 --> 00:01:02,786
Nobody's direct anymore,
you notice this?
5
00:01:03,442 --> 00:01:06,480
Everybody's got, like,
a secret language.
6
00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:09,724
It's like a code for what
they really wanna say.
7
00:01:09,828 --> 00:01:12,451
Like the doctor who first
told me my son was autistic.
8
00:01:12,555 --> 00:01:15,247
You know, he says to me, he says,
"You know, the autistic mind
9
00:01:15,351 --> 00:01:19,803
is wired in brilliant
and revolutionary ways."
10
00:01:19,907 --> 00:01:22,323
I said, "Oh, yeah?
11
00:01:22,427 --> 00:01:23,945
How so?"
12
00:01:24,049 --> 00:01:26,327
Because, you know,
my son didn't speak.
13
00:01:26,431 --> 00:01:28,985
Didn't speak at all for years.
14
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,332
Communicated only
in grunts, growls
15
00:01:31,436 --> 00:01:33,576
and ear-piercing screams.
16
00:01:40,445 --> 00:01:43,965
And then when he finally started
speaking, he wouldn't shut up.
17
00:01:44,069 --> 00:01:47,348
It's true. He
wouldn't. He wouldn't.
18
00:01:47,452 --> 00:01:50,224
That doctor could've saved us both a
lot of time if he'd just said the truth.
19
00:01:50,248 --> 00:01:52,871
Just slap those bitches,
and show 'em who's boss!
20
00:01:52,974 --> 00:01:55,874
- Ezra!
- Autistic kids don't give a fuck, man.
21
00:01:55,977 --> 00:01:59,602
- Say my name! Say my name!
- They don't. They don't.
22
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,301
You look good.
23
00:02:10,302 --> 00:02:11,855
How's work?
24
00:02:11,959 --> 00:02:12,959
Good.
25
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:15,790
When did Ezra see Breaking Bad?
26
00:02:15,894 --> 00:02:17,585
We binged it last weekend.
27
00:02:20,657 --> 00:02:23,015
- Maybe we should be a little more careful.
- What... what do you mean?
28
00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:25,051
He's been reading the New
York Times since he was five.
29
00:02:25,075 --> 00:02:26,491
He can handle Walter White.
30
00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:28,872
- Thank you for coming in.
- Hi!
31
00:02:28,976 --> 00:02:31,254
- Hi, Jenna.
- Mrs. Lee, hi. Nice to see you.
32
00:02:31,358 --> 00:02:33,670
Max, you both know Dr. Tamarova.
33
00:02:33,774 --> 00:02:34,774
Mm-hmm.
34
00:02:36,294 --> 00:02:38,192
Ezra, please stay with Anthony.
35
00:02:38,296 --> 00:02:40,436
Hi, hi, Ms. Cathro.
36
00:02:40,539 --> 00:02:41,816
Uh, what... what's happening?
37
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:43,818
Why is Ezra not with
the rest of the class?
38
00:02:43,922 --> 00:02:45,475
He's really been
acting out today.
39
00:02:45,579 --> 00:02:47,139
I have other students
who want to learn,
40
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,547
who count on me
to keep them safe.
41
00:02:48,651 --> 00:02:50,491
- I'm getting so tired of this shit.
- Max, please.
42
00:02:50,515 --> 00:02:52,689
No, you know that he's
bullied here, right?
43
00:02:52,793 --> 00:02:55,727
Yeah, maybe he was trying to make
that vicious little kid laugh.
44
00:02:55,830 --> 00:02:57,867
Ezzie came home with a
bloody lip last week.
45
00:02:57,970 --> 00:02:59,282
Anybody get expelled for that?
46
00:02:59,386 --> 00:03:00,604
Spoke to that boy's
parents as well.
47
00:03:00,628 --> 00:03:01,905
Right, but Ezzie's the bad one.
48
00:03:02,009 --> 00:03:03,424
No, no, Ezra is not bad,
49
00:03:03,528 --> 00:03:05,909
but today, he was a danger
to himself and others.
50
00:03:06,013 --> 00:03:08,153
There it is, there it
is. The secret language.
51
00:03:08,257 --> 00:03:09,844
- I was waiting for it.
- Max.
52
00:03:09,948 --> 00:03:11,639
- Huh?
- Max! Stop.
53
00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:19,751
You can't expel him. He's
been working very, very hard.
54
00:03:19,854 --> 00:03:21,787
And, yes, he has
had his bad days,
55
00:03:21,891 --> 00:03:24,756
but he's also met
a lot of the goals
56
00:03:24,859 --> 00:03:26,240
that you set for him.
57
00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:28,380
Ms. Lee, please.
58
00:03:29,347 --> 00:03:30,831
Y-You can't drop him.
59
00:03:31,521 --> 00:03:33,868
Max, this autism
shit, it's depressing.
60
00:03:33,972 --> 00:03:35,560
You can talk about
whatever you want
61
00:03:35,663 --> 00:03:37,089
if you give us a reason
to want to listen.
62
00:03:37,113 --> 00:03:39,702
And I want to listen. I
think my cousin's autistic.
63
00:03:39,805 --> 00:03:42,636
- But it's gotta be funny.
- See, the sign says comedy on it.
64
00:03:42,739 --> 00:03:44,603
- It's not a funeral parlor.
- Huh.
65
00:03:44,707 --> 00:03:46,098
What is this, a
fucking intervention?
66
00:03:46,122 --> 00:03:49,159
I disagree. You need
to go deeper, further.
67
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:50,471
Make a whole set out of it.
68
00:03:50,575 --> 00:03:51,793
Well, make a whole
evening out of it.
69
00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:53,681
You know, "Disabilities
with Max."
70
00:03:53,785 --> 00:03:55,585
Well, I'm not telling
jokes. I'm storytelling.
71
00:03:55,683 --> 00:03:57,454
I know you're not, but
you gotta make it funny.
72
00:03:57,478 --> 00:03:59,618
Sad stories, Jackie, you
should see his sad stories.
73
00:03:59,722 --> 00:04:01,033
Oh, I've seen 'em plenty.
74
00:04:01,137 --> 00:04:02,242
Divorce is not for pussies.
75
00:04:02,345 --> 00:04:03,898
Nosy, dark, and sexy.
76
00:04:04,002 --> 00:04:05,635
Sorry to interrupt, I
just wanted to tell you
77
00:04:05,659 --> 00:04:07,385
- I loved your set.
- There you go.
78
00:04:07,488 --> 00:04:09,352
- Thank you.
- You're welcome. I'm Susan.
79
00:04:09,456 --> 00:04:10,698
Can I buy you a drink?
80
00:04:10,802 --> 00:04:12,907
I'd save the dough.
This guy is in mourning.
81
00:04:19,811 --> 00:04:21,640
Hey.
82
00:04:21,744 --> 00:04:24,022
- Are you crying?
- Ah, come on.
83
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,337
I'll call you.
84
00:04:29,614 --> 00:04:30,614
Really?
85
00:04:31,926 --> 00:04:33,273
No.
86
00:04:46,562 --> 00:04:48,943
He cried, didn't he?
87
00:04:50,393 --> 00:04:53,016
It's his kid, my grandson.
88
00:04:56,917 --> 00:04:57,987
You hungry?
89
00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,437
Fix you something to eat.
90
00:05:08,446 --> 00:05:10,033
It's a bigger number
than we discussed,
91
00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:13,554
but it's exactly the
neighborhood that you wanted.
92
00:05:13,658 --> 00:05:15,384
Listen, th-there
are multiple bids,
93
00:05:15,487 --> 00:05:17,731
so I think we have to
come in above the ask.
94
00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:22,045
I wish that wasn't the
case, but, unfortunately,
95
00:05:22,149 --> 00:05:23,564
it's still a seller's market.
96
00:05:24,496 --> 00:05:26,705
Ezra! Breakfast!
97
00:05:46,553 --> 00:05:49,659
- Where'd you get the shirt?
- Come on. Cut it out. It's not your shirt.
98
00:05:49,763 --> 00:05:51,868
- You sure it's not my shirt?
- I'm sure.
99
00:05:55,216 --> 00:05:58,323
Enrico moved to the Ritz.
100
00:05:58,427 --> 00:06:00,498
And my building is
still a union house,
101
00:06:00,601 --> 00:06:01,947
and there's an
opening now, so...
102
00:06:02,051 --> 00:06:04,225
- Yeah?
- I want you to consider that.
103
00:06:04,329 --> 00:06:05,641
Yeah, okay.
104
00:06:05,744 --> 00:06:07,446
I'm just not gonna be a
doorman, Pop, thank you.
105
00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:09,150
There's nothing wrong
with being a doorman.
106
00:06:09,230 --> 00:06:11,992
And a man your age shouldn't
be living with his father.
107
00:06:13,476 --> 00:06:17,100
They're expelling
him. They expelled Ez.
108
00:06:17,204 --> 00:06:18,940
They want me to put him
in a special needs school.
109
00:06:18,964 --> 00:06:21,795
Nah, none of it's special.
It's all bullshit.
110
00:06:21,898 --> 00:06:23,900
Yeah, there it is, they're
recommending drugs.
111
00:06:27,007 --> 00:06:29,250
Put him in a gym, let him
work off that special sauce.
112
00:06:29,354 --> 00:06:31,149
- Yeah.
- But you gotta keep fighting.
113
00:06:31,252 --> 00:06:33,610
Yeah, keep fighting, right. You
know how much that's costing me?
114
00:06:33,634 --> 00:06:35,060
I'm paying for her
lawyer, my lawyer.
115
00:06:35,084 --> 00:06:36,993
Jenna knows I'm broke.
Can I have a fork, please?
116
00:06:37,017 --> 00:06:39,167
She knows you're still not over
her, too. That's one thing.
117
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:41,987
Just cut it out already, all
right? Give me a break. Come on.
118
00:06:42,091 --> 00:06:44,265
Okay, who cries after
fucking a stranger?
119
00:06:44,369 --> 00:06:46,889
That's crazy. You
gotta move on, kiddo.
120
00:06:46,992 --> 00:06:49,005
Believe me, I know what it's like
to fuck things up with a woman
121
00:06:49,029 --> 00:06:51,134
and to get stuck with
a kid on top of it.
122
00:06:51,238 --> 00:06:53,551
More coffee?
123
00:06:53,654 --> 00:06:55,518
Yeah, what, am I new
here? I'll take a coffee.
124
00:06:58,866 --> 00:07:00,834
Tell me something good, Jayne.
125
00:07:00,937 --> 00:07:03,423
I have something
really, really good.
126
00:07:03,526 --> 00:07:05,459
I'm not doing it. Nah,
I write for me now.
127
00:07:05,563 --> 00:07:06,874
- Come here.
- For me.
128
00:07:06,978 --> 00:07:08,117
Come here.
129
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:09,532
I'm not sitting on your lap.
130
00:07:09,636 --> 00:07:10,809
I got something to tell you.
131
00:07:10,913 --> 00:07:12,362
Come on.
132
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:13,985
You don't want me to get up.
133
00:07:14,088 --> 00:07:17,264
All right, no one's gonna
hire me in late night anymore.
134
00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:19,300
Conan fucking blackballed me.
135
00:07:19,404 --> 00:07:21,406
Well, you punched
him in the balls.
136
00:07:21,510 --> 00:07:23,097
Well, I was aiming
for his stomach.
137
00:07:23,201 --> 00:07:24,651
He's so fucking tall!
138
00:07:27,343 --> 00:07:29,069
Why are you so crazy?
139
00:07:29,172 --> 00:07:32,900
Listen, Robert Segal has
heard great things about you.
140
00:07:33,004 --> 00:07:35,178
Robert Segal. What,
Kimmel's booker?
141
00:07:35,282 --> 00:07:37,698
He wants to see you down
at the Cellar tonight.
142
00:07:37,802 --> 00:07:39,528
No, I can't. I
can't do it tonight.
143
00:07:39,631 --> 00:07:41,426
I'm taking Ezzie to The
Big Lebowski tribute.
144
00:07:41,530 --> 00:07:44,025
We're gonna dress up like the
characters, throw shit at the screen.
145
00:07:44,049 --> 00:07:46,604
- It's gonna be awesome.
- That's all cute, but not tonight.
146
00:07:46,707 --> 00:07:48,064
I can't. I can't
let the dude down.
147
00:07:48,088 --> 00:07:50,539
You wanna do something
for your son?
148
00:07:50,642 --> 00:07:54,059
You get Mr. Segal to
book you on Mr. Kimmel.
149
00:07:54,163 --> 00:07:57,097
Okay, ready? I'm
getting the costume.
150
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,200
Okay.
151
00:07:59,237 --> 00:08:00,721
Okay, this is cozy.
152
00:08:04,449 --> 00:08:06,934
- This is gonna be itchy.
- I know.
153
00:08:07,038 --> 00:08:08,039
Okay.
154
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,181
- Okay.
- Wait, not now, I got it.
155
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:15,598
I got it.
156
00:08:15,702 --> 00:08:18,636
You look so cute!
157
00:08:18,739 --> 00:08:21,604
I'm sorry! I'm
sorry! I'm sorry!
158
00:08:21,708 --> 00:08:24,883
It's okay. Sorry. It's okay.
159
00:08:24,987 --> 00:08:27,299
I'm sorry, Ezzie. It's okay.
160
00:08:27,403 --> 00:08:29,163
It's okay. It's okay.
161
00:08:30,475 --> 00:08:31,580
It's okay.
162
00:08:56,259 --> 00:08:57,606
I got it, honey.
163
00:08:58,676 --> 00:09:00,401
Wow, look at you.
164
00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:03,543
- So, a lawyer walks into a bar...
- No, no. Don't do that, Bryce.
165
00:09:03,646 --> 00:09:05,821
- It's Bruce.
- Ezzie! Ezzie!
166
00:09:05,924 --> 00:09:07,719
And you're "Hay-zeus,"
the bowler, right?
167
00:09:07,823 --> 00:09:09,687
It's "Jesus," man.
168
00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:11,112
- Jesus.
- Have you not seen the movie?
169
00:09:11,136 --> 00:09:13,587
No, it's been a... oh! And
here's the Big Lebowski!
170
00:09:13,691 --> 00:09:16,003
I'm not Mr. Lebowski.
You're Mr. Lebowski.
171
00:09:16,107 --> 00:09:16,935
I'm The Dude.
172
00:09:17,039 --> 00:09:18,592
Well, not yet you're not.
173
00:09:18,696 --> 00:09:20,249
Let's see.
174
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,044
Now you're The Dude.
175
00:09:22,147 --> 00:09:24,494
Let me see.
176
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:25,944
Just in case.
177
00:09:26,048 --> 00:09:28,568
Okay, he's with me. He's
not gonna have a meltdown.
178
00:09:28,671 --> 00:09:30,949
Sure. Well, we'll
be back by 9:00,
179
00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:32,744
so just the movie
and straight home.
180
00:09:32,848 --> 00:09:34,435
- Promise?
- Yeah, I promise.
181
00:09:34,539 --> 00:09:35,609
- Okay!
- Okay.
182
00:09:35,713 --> 00:09:37,507
Okay.
183
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,958
- Straight home, guys.
- Yeah. You, too. Okay?
184
00:09:40,062 --> 00:09:41,822
- Have fun!
- All right.
185
00:09:41,926 --> 00:09:43,134
He didn't like my joke.
186
00:09:54,421 --> 00:09:55,698
You're nice.
187
00:09:55,802 --> 00:09:57,562
What's up, buddy?
188
00:09:57,666 --> 00:09:59,046
Jack-Jack-Jacquelyn.
189
00:09:59,150 --> 00:10:01,152
- What's up, Max?
- I'm gonna go get changed.
190
00:10:01,255 --> 00:10:02,981
- Hey, Ezra.
- Hi.
191
00:10:03,085 --> 00:10:05,190
Have you been to a
costume ball, then, love?
192
00:10:05,294 --> 00:10:07,503
No. Big Lebowski,
7:00 p.m. show.
193
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,470
Oh! Great movie. Love it.
194
00:10:09,574 --> 00:10:11,576
I'll have a White Russian.
195
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,890
Virgin White Russian
for The Dude.
196
00:10:14,993 --> 00:10:17,617
Actually, pineapple juice.
I'll have a pineapple juice.
197
00:10:25,038 --> 00:10:28,248
- You make me think of pirates.
- Really? That's weird.
198
00:10:28,351 --> 00:10:29,351
Yes.
199
00:10:29,387 --> 00:10:32,321
Even though the pirate accent
200
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,426
is typically West
Country English.
201
00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:36,256
Yaarrgh!
202
00:10:36,359 --> 00:10:37,740
The Irish are fine pirates.
203
00:10:39,915 --> 00:10:42,780
Oh! Drop the lobe!
Drop the lobe.
204
00:10:42,883 --> 00:10:47,094
Max is stoned,
everyone. Max is stoned.
205
00:10:47,198 --> 00:10:48,061
Really, dude?
206
00:10:48,164 --> 00:10:49,062
I don't know if anyone's
207
00:10:49,165 --> 00:10:50,857
in an interracial relationship.
208
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,893
I'm in one. My
girlfriend's Puerto Rican.
209
00:10:52,997 --> 00:10:55,171
- Yes! Thank you. I appreciate that.
- See him?
210
00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:57,346
Okay, see the guy over
there with glasses?
211
00:10:57,449 --> 00:11:00,107
That's him. Okay, I need
my Ezzie mojo, okay?
212
00:11:00,211 --> 00:11:01,971
You ready to be my
good luck charm?
213
00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:05,941
Find me a more
unhappy human being.
214
00:11:06,044 --> 00:11:09,013
Depressing. Why would I do that?
215
00:11:09,116 --> 00:11:11,187
Don't be so literal,
Ezzie. Come on, let's go.
216
00:11:11,291 --> 00:11:14,087
Every time my dad interacts
with a gay person, he calls me.
217
00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:16,158
Every interaction.
218
00:11:16,261 --> 00:11:18,308
It doesn't matter how small it
is. He called me the other day.
219
00:11:18,332 --> 00:11:20,000
He was like, "Emma, I
was at the grocery store,
220
00:11:20,024 --> 00:11:22,095
and I looked over,
and I saw a lesbian."
221
00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:25,522
And I was like, "That's great, dad.
How did you know she was a lesbian?"
222
00:11:25,546 --> 00:11:28,273
He said "Well, she looked
like you." "Goodbye, Pop!"
223
00:11:28,377 --> 00:11:30,897
Okay, guys, ready
for your next comic?
224
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,416
Gimme the mojo. Gimme
the mojo! Gimme the mojo!
225
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,246
One of my personal favorites.
226
00:11:35,349 --> 00:11:37,776
He was a writer for some of the
biggest names in the business.
227
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:38,974
Now he writes for himself.
228
00:11:39,077 --> 00:11:40,630
Clap it up for my
buddy, Max Bernal!
229
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:41,631
Let him hear ya!
230
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,875
Yes!
231
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,501
That's Emma
Willmann! Give it up!
232
00:11:50,951 --> 00:11:53,160
- How we feeling?
- Good.
233
00:11:53,264 --> 00:11:55,438
Now, take it easy.
I don't really care.
234
00:11:55,542 --> 00:11:59,132
My son is here tonight! That's
right. My son is here tonight.
235
00:12:00,996 --> 00:12:02,549
Dying of shame.
236
00:12:02,652 --> 00:12:04,309
Stand up, and take
the wig off, Ez!
237
00:12:04,413 --> 00:12:08,072
Stop talking about me!
238
00:12:08,175 --> 00:12:10,591
Okay. I didn't expect
that. Uh, you know,
239
00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:12,215
try to have a little
respect, okay, Ez?
240
00:12:12,283 --> 00:12:14,872
I'm up here humiliating myself
to give you a better life.
241
00:12:14,975 --> 00:12:17,046
All right.
242
00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:18,738
I'm good to you,
you little prick.
243
00:12:18,841 --> 00:12:20,809
- Not like my old man.
- Pop-Pop!
244
00:12:20,912 --> 00:12:22,949
That's right. Pop-Pop.
245
00:12:23,052 --> 00:12:25,054
That's the last time
he'll speak, by the way.
246
00:12:25,158 --> 00:12:28,161
Pop-Pop, that's actually the
perfect name for my old man.
247
00:12:28,264 --> 00:12:30,922
Pop-Pop. It's like two gunshots.
248
00:12:31,026 --> 00:12:33,476
One to the head, one to
the heart. "Pop! Pop!"
249
00:12:34,201 --> 00:12:35,731
Let me tell you a little
bit about my old man.
250
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,827
This guy, you know, he was a...
one of the top gourmet chefs
251
00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:40,518
in New York City
back in the day.
252
00:12:40,621 --> 00:12:43,279
Worked at all the top
restaurants. It's true, you know.
253
00:12:43,383 --> 00:12:45,695
Every one of which he
got shit-canned from
254
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,732
because nobody could
stand working with him.
255
00:12:47,836 --> 00:12:49,492
I mean, the guy got
driven out of town,
256
00:12:49,596 --> 00:12:52,116
and the only place he
could find a job as a chef
257
00:12:52,219 --> 00:12:54,739
was at a steakhouse in Nebraska.
258
00:12:54,843 --> 00:12:56,706
- Ooh!
- That's right.
259
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,917
You know cuisine
in Nebraska, man.
260
00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,746
There isn't any.
261
00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:06,820
I mean, you kill it, they grill
it, you get a Michelin tire, see?
262
00:13:06,924 --> 00:13:09,340
So, I'm five years old,
I'm living in Nebraska,
263
00:13:09,443 --> 00:13:12,170
it's my birthday party, and you
know, it's a lot of pressure.
264
00:13:12,274 --> 00:13:14,966
I mean, you know, I've got these
fat farmers' kids staring at me.
265
00:13:15,070 --> 00:13:18,798
I'm the only thing standing between
them and the cake, so, you know...
266
00:13:19,522 --> 00:13:23,009
Papier-mâché bib, it's 1980, so
you know everything I'm wearing
267
00:13:23,112 --> 00:13:24,527
is made out of napalm.
268
00:13:24,631 --> 00:13:27,254
I bend down, blow
out my candles,
269
00:13:27,358 --> 00:13:29,222
I'm about to do it
when I hear my pop say,
270
00:13:29,325 --> 00:13:31,603
"Blow out your
fucking candles, Max!"
271
00:13:33,157 --> 00:13:36,160
I flinch. I fall forward.
272
00:13:36,263 --> 00:13:39,094
Candle lights me up. I light
up like a fucking road flare.
273
00:13:39,197 --> 00:13:41,682
I'm telling you, I am on fire!
274
00:13:41,786 --> 00:13:44,237
My old man, he grabs
his Dr. Pepper,
275
00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:46,446
he puts me out like
a campfire, and says,
276
00:13:46,549 --> 00:13:49,967
"You want some cake, Maxie?"
277
00:13:50,070 --> 00:13:51,451
I says, "No, Pop."
278
00:13:51,554 --> 00:13:53,714
- "I want my eyebrows back!"
- I want my eyebrows back!
279
00:13:56,007 --> 00:13:57,664
Thanks, kid.
280
00:13:57,767 --> 00:13:59,528
I'm gonna go kill my son.
281
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:02,531
Hey, I think it's great
that you memorized my set,
282
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,440
but you can't be steppin'
on my punchline, buddy.
283
00:14:04,464 --> 00:14:06,949
I can't let the train
go off the rails!
284
00:14:07,053 --> 00:14:09,641
Okay, Ez, here
comes Mr. Happy now.
285
00:14:09,745 --> 00:14:13,507
Okay, just whatever you're thinking,
don't say it, okay, please.
286
00:14:13,611 --> 00:14:14,923
- Good set.
- Thank you.
287
00:14:15,026 --> 00:14:17,028
- I think I'll book your kid.
- Ha!
288
00:14:17,132 --> 00:14:18,581
You're still not funny, Bob.
289
00:14:18,685 --> 00:14:21,826
Ezzie, meet Mr. Segal.
Bob, this is my son, Ezra.
290
00:14:21,930 --> 00:14:24,277
So, um, next week,
a producer comes in
291
00:14:24,380 --> 00:14:26,796
- to see you and Sal Argento.
- All right.
292
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,938
And then, one of you is doing
the Kimmel show in Los Angeles.
293
00:14:30,041 --> 00:14:33,182
Mr. Segal, are you sad
because you're bald?
294
00:14:34,218 --> 00:14:36,013
- He's dark.
- Mm.
295
00:14:36,116 --> 00:14:38,222
Like his daddy.
296
00:14:38,325 --> 00:14:40,258
- Get your best stuff together, Max.
- Okay.
297
00:14:40,362 --> 00:14:42,812
- All right? You're gonna need it.
- All right. All right.
298
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,714
Sad and bald? That's
you not talking?
299
00:14:47,817 --> 00:14:50,406
- I was just asking a question.
- Okay.
300
00:14:50,510 --> 00:14:53,582
Come on, let's get out of here
before your mother kills me.
301
00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,446
Sorry. Sorry.
302
00:15:01,762 --> 00:15:02,762
Well...
303
00:15:08,183 --> 00:15:10,426
Oh, my god.
304
00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:12,152
Okay.
305
00:15:12,256 --> 00:15:14,258
Snug as a bug in a rug.
306
00:15:18,434 --> 00:15:20,609
Okay. All right, all right.
307
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:22,024
I wasn't doing anything.
308
00:15:24,854 --> 00:15:27,581
Hey. We had a good time, right?
309
00:15:27,685 --> 00:15:29,480
Just one more.
310
00:15:29,583 --> 00:15:32,690
All right, all right!
Hey. I love you.
311
00:15:34,381 --> 00:15:35,658
Good night.
312
00:15:41,216 --> 00:15:43,218
Who says autistic kids
can't communicate?
313
00:15:43,321 --> 00:15:46,393
"Ah, get out of my
room!" And I'm out. Yeah.
314
00:15:46,497 --> 00:15:48,464
He's the best
communicator in the world.
315
00:15:48,568 --> 00:15:50,432
You can use the sensory
brush next time.
316
00:15:50,535 --> 00:15:52,710
Nah, nah, nah, the brushing
thing is your thing.
317
00:15:52,813 --> 00:15:54,470
What is he, an alpaca?
318
00:15:54,574 --> 00:15:57,232
You did a set at the Cellar, and
you promised me you wouldn't.
319
00:15:57,335 --> 00:15:59,268
- You're driving me crazy.
- I'm sorry, okay?
320
00:15:59,372 --> 00:16:01,270
A guy from Kimmel
came to see me,
321
00:16:01,374 --> 00:16:04,342
- and I needed my good luck charm, right?
- Oh.
322
00:16:04,446 --> 00:16:06,413
You know me. I
needed my mojo man.
323
00:16:06,517 --> 00:16:09,071
Did you read
Dr. Tamarova's assessment?
324
00:16:11,901 --> 00:16:14,387
Look at you. You are so pretty.
Come on. Give me a kiss.
325
00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:16,009
- Brad's gone already.
- Stop it.
326
00:16:16,113 --> 00:16:18,287
It's Bruce, and
he's in the kitchen.
327
00:16:19,909 --> 00:16:22,326
- Brian is in my kitchen?
- Hi, Max!
328
00:16:22,429 --> 00:16:24,269
You know, he's never
gonna belong in our house.
329
00:16:24,362 --> 00:16:26,502
Max. This is my house.
Did you read it?
330
00:16:26,606 --> 00:16:28,780
Yeah, I read it.
I read it, yes.
331
00:16:28,884 --> 00:16:31,000
But it was a mugging. They
just want him out of there.
332
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,716
The Board of Ed will pay for him
to go to a special needs school.
333
00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:35,270
He doesn't need
a special school.
334
00:16:35,373 --> 00:16:37,858
Max, he led 20 kids
onto Washington Street.
335
00:16:37,962 --> 00:16:40,654
- It was incredibly dangerous.
- Okay, but he's not dangerous.
336
00:16:40,758 --> 00:16:42,001
He's a challenge.
337
00:16:42,104 --> 00:16:44,106
Fuck. Nobody wants to
do the fucking work.
338
00:16:44,210 --> 00:16:46,902
The work? The work.
All I do is work.
339
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,629
You come here, you play dress
up to take him to comedy club.
340
00:16:49,732 --> 00:16:51,987
- Bring him home at midnight.
- That's not what I meant, okay?
341
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,229
Look, we're on the
same team, Jen.
342
00:16:53,253 --> 00:16:56,153
You know how he thinks.
I know how he thinks.
343
00:16:56,256 --> 00:16:58,189
He just needs to be
seen, Jen, you know?
344
00:16:58,293 --> 00:17:02,400
And heard and... and appreciated
for what he has to offer.
345
00:17:02,504 --> 00:17:05,058
Yes, yes, but he also needs
to be able to give us a hug
346
00:17:05,162 --> 00:17:06,301
without screaming.
347
00:17:09,166 --> 00:17:10,443
It's an opportunity, Max.
348
00:17:10,546 --> 00:17:13,998
He'll be with trained
teachers and aides
349
00:17:14,102 --> 00:17:15,275
in a school built for him,
350
00:17:15,379 --> 00:17:17,139
how he needs to learn.
351
00:17:18,485 --> 00:17:19,831
No bullies.
352
00:17:21,454 --> 00:17:23,283
He'll be with kids
just like him.
353
00:17:26,217 --> 00:17:28,668
- Nice. Kids like him, huh?
- Okay.
354
00:17:28,771 --> 00:17:31,498
- That's not what I meant.
- You know what? I know what you meant.
355
00:17:31,602 --> 00:17:34,053
Here's the thing,
I'm a kid like him.
356
00:17:34,156 --> 00:17:37,539
And kids like us, you know what we
need? To be with all kinds of kids.
357
00:17:37,642 --> 00:17:40,921
So, no, I will not accept her
recommendation fucking ever.
358
00:17:53,555 --> 00:17:55,695
- You all right?
- No.
359
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,491
It never fails!
360
00:17:58,594 --> 00:17:59,985
Every time we get
close to something
361
00:18:00,009 --> 00:18:01,045
that might actually work,
362
00:18:01,149 --> 00:18:02,805
Max has to blow it up!
363
00:18:02,909 --> 00:18:05,429
This is the third school that
Ezra's been expelled from.
364
00:18:05,532 --> 00:18:09,088
There's no other options.
What am I supposed to do?
365
00:18:09,191 --> 00:18:11,607
Well, I could get
rid of Max for you.
366
00:18:11,711 --> 00:18:13,885
- Oh, you can do that for me?
- Yeah. I'm a lawyer.
367
00:18:13,989 --> 00:18:15,370
I have no moral compass.
368
00:18:15,473 --> 00:18:19,512
Besides, I know a guy. They
call him Jimmy the Hatchet.
369
00:18:19,615 --> 00:18:23,274
Bang, bang, bitches. Cut off his
head, and feed him to the fishes!
370
00:18:36,425 --> 00:18:39,946
Get down! Get down!
371
00:18:51,578 --> 00:18:53,166
It won't be too much
longer, sweetie,
372
00:18:53,270 --> 00:18:55,755
but you scared the
hell out of me.
373
00:18:58,792 --> 00:19:01,416
Honey, why'd you sneak out
of the house like that?
374
00:19:01,519 --> 00:19:04,384
Hmm? Please don't do that ever.
375
00:19:05,247 --> 00:19:09,286
- Say you'll never do that.
- I won't ever do that.
376
00:19:09,389 --> 00:19:11,633
Miss Demuzio saw you
run in the street,
377
00:19:11,736 --> 00:19:13,980
and then a taxi came
out and then he hit you.
378
00:19:14,083 --> 00:19:16,131
- I mean, you could've been...
- A dog tried to bite me.
379
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,260
I had to get away
from his teeth.
380
00:19:18,364 --> 00:19:20,504
Hey, Jen. They're
almost ready for him.
381
00:19:20,607 --> 00:19:22,161
No!
382
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:24,301
- It's okay.
- Hey.
383
00:19:24,404 --> 00:19:27,166
- Hey. Dad's here.
- What's happening?
384
00:19:27,269 --> 00:19:29,098
Hey, buddy. Hey, hey. You okay?
385
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:32,378
What's going on?
Huh? What happened?
386
00:19:32,481 --> 00:19:35,381
- 14th Street Viaduct to Manhattan Avenue.
- What?
387
00:19:35,484 --> 00:19:37,624
- Three blocks to the park at...
- Hey, hey, I know...
388
00:19:37,728 --> 00:19:39,764
- I know you know where Pop-Pop lives.
- I'm sorry.
389
00:19:39,868 --> 00:19:42,422
Don't be sorry, okay?
Just tell me what...
390
00:19:42,526 --> 00:19:43,941
- You're mad.
- No, I'm not mad.
391
00:19:44,044 --> 00:19:45,356
Okay, I'm not mad...
392
00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:47,265
Okay, you know what? Yeah,
I'm a little bit mad.
393
00:19:47,289 --> 00:19:49,222
Eyes. Eyes. Ezzie.
394
00:19:49,326 --> 00:19:52,260
- What were you doing running outs...
- Can I talk to you for a second?
395
00:19:54,814 --> 00:19:55,884
Hey...
396
00:19:59,784 --> 00:20:01,441
Ezra Bernal.
397
00:20:01,545 --> 00:20:03,937
- Why's he in the middle of the hallway?
- They need to run tests.
398
00:20:03,961 --> 00:20:06,377
What do you mean tests? What
tests? You mean like X-rays?
399
00:20:06,481 --> 00:20:08,183
- Psych evaluation.
- What do you mean psych eval...
400
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,933
Hey, where you going?
Hey, no, thanks.
401
00:20:11,037 --> 00:20:13,037
- I had the same reaction.
- What psych evaluation?
402
00:20:13,073 --> 00:20:15,144
- He got hit by a cab.
- It's protocol for children.
403
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:18,128
- Excuse me. Is there a problem?
- Yeah. We need to see a doctor, please.
404
00:20:18,182 --> 00:20:21,668
- I'm Dr. Kaplan.
- Oh, okay. We... hey, stop!
405
00:20:21,772 --> 00:20:23,636
Sir, you need to let
the man do his job.
406
00:20:23,739 --> 00:20:25,741
Yes. Let's just relax. Just...
407
00:20:25,845 --> 00:20:27,743
- Dad?
- Yeah, I'm right here, buddy.
408
00:20:27,847 --> 00:20:29,400
- We're here, honey.
- Don't worry.
409
00:20:29,504 --> 00:20:31,224
We're gonna sort this
out in a minute, okay?
410
00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:51,422
They made me draw pictures,
411
00:20:51,526 --> 00:20:55,426
stuck lights in my eyes
and asked me questions.
412
00:20:56,393 --> 00:20:58,395
What kind of questions?
413
00:20:58,498 --> 00:21:03,089
They asked me if Mom or
Dad ever tried to hit me.
414
00:21:03,192 --> 00:21:05,367
If I had ever tried
to hurt myself.
415
00:21:07,231 --> 00:21:09,785
Okay, I'm sorry they asked
you that kind of stuff.
416
00:21:11,408 --> 00:21:15,826
Are they gonna make me live
417
00:21:15,929 --> 00:21:17,276
somewhere else?
418
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,624
- Like in a hospital?
- No.
419
00:21:20,727 --> 00:21:22,281
They can't.
420
00:21:22,384 --> 00:21:25,698
You have family, and they
have to answer to us.
421
00:21:25,801 --> 00:21:29,736
- So, that's not gonna happen.
- Okay.
422
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,186
Next move.
423
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,533
- You sure you want to do that?
- Oh, yeah.
424
00:21:34,362 --> 00:21:36,295
KO.
425
00:21:36,398 --> 00:21:39,090
You had to do that,
didn't you, huh?
426
00:21:42,370 --> 00:21:44,095
Hi.
427
00:21:44,199 --> 00:21:45,511
Thank you for your patience.
428
00:21:45,614 --> 00:21:47,927
I know it's been a long night.
429
00:21:48,030 --> 00:21:49,238
I have some good news.
430
00:21:49,342 --> 00:21:51,275
We are going to send
Ezra home this morning.
431
00:21:51,379 --> 00:21:53,622
But because of his age
432
00:21:53,726 --> 00:21:56,176
and because a witness saw
him run in front of a cab...
433
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,488
That's bullshit.
434
00:21:57,592 --> 00:21:58,834
Please. Let him finish.
435
00:21:58,938 --> 00:22:00,974
Ezzie would never just
run in front of a cab.
436
00:22:01,078 --> 00:22:03,322
- Just listen to the doctor.
- I know this is traumatic,
437
00:22:03,425 --> 00:22:05,462
but I'm doing what the
law says I must do.
438
00:22:05,565 --> 00:22:07,256
Ezra is technically
a ward of the state.
439
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:10,121
- You don't have that right.
- Legally, he does actually.
440
00:22:10,225 --> 00:22:11,502
Let's just hear the doctor out.
441
00:22:11,606 --> 00:22:13,435
Ezra has a history of fleeing
442
00:22:13,539 --> 00:22:14,988
and putting himself in danger.
443
00:22:15,092 --> 00:22:18,302
Now, I'm not going to put him
into a pediatric psych ward.
444
00:22:18,406 --> 00:22:22,617
But I am going to require him to
attend a school for special needs.
445
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,620
And I would like to try a
prescription for Risperdal.
446
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,830
Risperdal? That's
an antipsychotic.
447
00:22:28,933 --> 00:22:31,557
- Your son has been a danger to himself.
- He has not!
448
00:22:31,660 --> 00:22:34,353
Max! He nearly
died! That happened.
449
00:22:34,456 --> 00:22:36,009
Just let him finish.
Let him finish.
450
00:22:36,113 --> 00:22:38,702
We are going to revisit
this in three months.
451
00:22:38,805 --> 00:22:41,946
But right now, Risperdal
is the correct medication.
452
00:22:47,745 --> 00:22:49,816
- Max.
- No, no. I just...
453
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,336
- You got a lot of Risperdal here.
- Max.
454
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,304
What do the drug companies give
you for pushing this on kids?
455
00:22:55,408 --> 00:22:56,685
You get a free fucking badge?
456
00:22:56,789 --> 00:22:58,525
- Hey, Max, come on. Take it easy.
- Take it easy.
457
00:22:58,549 --> 00:23:00,527
Now, I see where the
dangerous behavior comes from.
458
00:23:00,551 --> 00:23:02,553
- Oh, excuse me?
- Max!
459
00:23:02,657 --> 00:23:04,037
You son of a bitch!
460
00:23:09,836 --> 00:23:11,804
- No. I'm not doing that.
- Max.
461
00:23:11,907 --> 00:23:13,540
I got Dr. Wells to drop
the assault charge,
462
00:23:13,564 --> 00:23:15,670
- but you gotta go with the program.
- Fuck that guy.
463
00:23:15,773 --> 00:23:18,120
- He's a drug dealer.
- He's in control is what he is.
464
00:23:18,224 --> 00:23:21,883
Of the special ed school,
the medications, all of it.
465
00:23:24,333 --> 00:23:27,923
And what about the, uh,
about the restraining order?
466
00:23:29,615 --> 00:23:32,790
Three months. You
can't go near Ezra.
467
00:23:32,894 --> 00:23:36,104
I'm sorry. It's the
judge's decision.
468
00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:39,314
I can probably get it down to a
month if you use the behavior cards.
469
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,868
Fuck those cards.
He pisses on those.
470
00:23:41,972 --> 00:23:45,320
You want to go home or you wanna
spend another night in here?
471
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:46,528
It's up to you.
472
00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:04,443
Must have been humiliating being
rescued by your wife's boyfriend.
473
00:24:04,546 --> 00:24:06,272
Please stop talking.
474
00:24:06,375 --> 00:24:08,274
She's obsessed with
this retard crap.
475
00:24:08,377 --> 00:24:10,379
Hey, what's wrong with you, huh?
476
00:24:10,483 --> 00:24:14,522
Nobody says "retard" anymore,
okay? Nobody. Don't say it again.
477
00:24:14,625 --> 00:24:16,109
Okay. I won't say it.
478
00:24:18,664 --> 00:24:20,217
You know, it's a
felony having this.
479
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,598
That's a lot of bullshit.
480
00:24:21,701 --> 00:24:24,117
I served my country. I
have a right to have this.
481
00:24:24,221 --> 00:24:26,119
Food. You served food.
482
00:24:28,743 --> 00:24:32,263
I had no choice. Now they're
telling me I can't see Ezra.
483
00:24:33,161 --> 00:24:36,095
I... I got no say in what
drugs they're gonna give him.
484
00:24:36,198 --> 00:24:38,407
What school they're gonna
put him in. What the f...
485
00:24:44,206 --> 00:24:45,898
You got anything to say?
486
00:24:46,001 --> 00:24:49,798
- She cut you out good. I know.
- She didn't do this.
487
00:24:49,902 --> 00:24:51,673
She didn't have to. I just
picked you up from prison.
488
00:24:51,697 --> 00:24:52,836
What are you talking about?
489
00:24:53,008 --> 00:24:54,572
- That's the best you got?
- What am I gonna say?
490
00:24:54,596 --> 00:24:56,529
You rush in blind, you
get knocked on your ass.
491
00:24:56,633 --> 00:24:57,953
You can't control
your own power,
492
00:24:57,979 --> 00:24:59,128
then what the hell
do you have? Nothing.
493
00:24:59,152 --> 00:25:00,647
Says the guy who
knocked out a customer
494
00:25:00,671 --> 00:25:01,752
because his steak
was overcooked?
495
00:25:01,776 --> 00:25:02,880
That was a perfect steak.
496
00:25:02,984 --> 00:25:04,295
Ah, you see now, there it is.
497
00:25:04,537 --> 00:25:06,515
- There's my twisted moral compass.
- That's right. Whatever.
498
00:25:06,539 --> 00:25:07,678
Whatever's right. Yeah.
499
00:25:07,885 --> 00:25:09,242
Maybe if that were true,
we'd still be in Nebraska,
500
00:25:09,266 --> 00:25:10,946
I'd still have a mother,
what do you think?
501
00:25:12,580 --> 00:25:13,971
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
502
00:25:13,995 --> 00:25:15,962
Stop.
503
00:25:16,066 --> 00:25:18,378
I'm sorry, all right?
504
00:25:18,482 --> 00:25:20,082
I just... I didn't
mean to bring that up.
505
00:25:20,208 --> 00:25:22,738
Fucking guy says to me, "Hey, stupid,
there's no blood on my plate."
506
00:25:22,762 --> 00:25:24,842
I say, "Hey, I'm sorry."
And I punch him in the face.
507
00:25:24,868 --> 00:25:26,328
I say, "Now there is
blood on your plate."
508
00:25:26,352 --> 00:25:28,330
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about my mother.
509
00:25:28,354 --> 00:25:30,332
Now what, now you're gonna
start blaming everything
510
00:25:30,356 --> 00:25:32,403
that's wrong with you and your
life on me and your mother?
511
00:25:32,427 --> 00:25:34,394
Get the fuck out of here!
512
00:25:34,498 --> 00:25:35,958
You know what? You're
a fucking asshole!
513
00:25:35,982 --> 00:25:38,433
Fuck you. Learn how to
fucking cook a steak.
514
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,780
Move the car!
515
00:25:42,299 --> 00:25:43,299
Got it?
516
00:25:50,307 --> 00:25:51,307
Good job.
517
00:25:57,107 --> 00:25:59,016
Do you really think you should
wear the dinosaur costume
518
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,904
on your first day
at a new school?
519
00:26:01,007 --> 00:26:02,007
Hmm.
520
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,218
Hey, it's gonna be great.
521
00:26:05,322 --> 00:26:09,602
There's gonna be all these new kids,
and you're gonna find the nicest ones.
522
00:26:13,744 --> 00:26:15,297
Hey, psst, Ezra.
523
00:26:16,333 --> 00:26:17,645
Ezzie.
524
00:26:19,508 --> 00:26:20,855
Ezzie.
525
00:26:49,642 --> 00:26:51,368
Okay, everybody. Inside!
526
00:26:59,652 --> 00:27:01,689
You've got to head in, Ezra.
527
00:27:04,761 --> 00:27:07,626
What class do you have? Art?
528
00:27:14,149 --> 00:27:15,829
You know, I was thinking
about it recently.
529
00:27:15,910 --> 00:27:17,990
This fucked-up game we used
to play when I was a kid.
530
00:27:18,084 --> 00:27:19,914
You remember Musical Chairs?
531
00:27:20,017 --> 00:27:21,260
- Yeah!
- Yeah?
532
00:27:21,363 --> 00:27:23,987
- Whoo!
- Whoo! Really? Jesus Christ!
533
00:27:24,090 --> 00:27:27,024
It's like a roomful of
pharmaceutical executives.
534
00:27:27,128 --> 00:27:29,613
You know, I was thinking
about this game.
535
00:27:29,717 --> 00:27:31,063
But you know what the catch is.
536
00:27:31,166 --> 00:27:34,618
If you got a dozen kids,
you only got 11 chairs.
537
00:27:34,722 --> 00:27:37,483
So, who doesn't get a chair,
538
00:27:37,586 --> 00:27:41,038
"Fuck you, you're out," right?
539
00:27:41,142 --> 00:27:43,109
Yeah, it's brutal, it's brutal.
540
00:27:43,213 --> 00:27:46,388
I mean, these kids, they turn
into savages, man, right?
541
00:27:46,492 --> 00:27:49,875
They bite each other,
they kick each other.
542
00:27:49,978 --> 00:27:52,636
They poke each other's eyes out.
543
00:27:52,740 --> 00:27:54,673
What sadist invented this game?
544
00:27:56,088 --> 00:27:58,124
And why do they even
call it Musical Chairs?
545
00:27:58,228 --> 00:28:02,301
There's nothing remotely musical
about Musical Chairs, man.
546
00:28:02,404 --> 00:28:05,442
It's like, uh... it's like the
original Squid Game or something.
547
00:28:08,617 --> 00:28:11,448
You know, I just, uh... I got
out of prison a couple days ago.
548
00:28:11,551 --> 00:28:12,725
It's a true story.
549
00:28:12,829 --> 00:28:14,140
Thank you. Thank you.
550
00:28:14,244 --> 00:28:17,316
You know, I, um, put
in some hard time.
551
00:28:17,419 --> 00:28:20,629
Toughest 14 hours of my life.
552
00:28:20,733 --> 00:28:22,321
But, um...
553
00:28:25,082 --> 00:28:27,775
yeah, this doctor, doctor.
554
00:28:27,878 --> 00:28:29,086
Fucking doctor.
555
00:28:29,190 --> 00:28:30,881
Tried to push some
drugs on my kid, so,
556
00:28:30,985 --> 00:28:32,434
you know, I had
to knock him out,
557
00:28:32,538 --> 00:28:34,126
and, uh, they threw me in jail.
558
00:28:36,818 --> 00:28:38,924
Uh, but they offered me a deal.
559
00:28:41,512 --> 00:28:43,169
If I let them give my son
560
00:28:43,273 --> 00:28:46,966
the same drugs they give
to the criminally insane,
561
00:28:47,070 --> 00:28:49,348
they'd drop all the charges.
562
00:28:51,557 --> 00:28:53,421
So I, uh...
563
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:57,320
took the deal.
564
00:28:59,979 --> 00:29:02,188
My son needed me to
go to bat for him...
565
00:29:09,402 --> 00:29:11,750
and I sold him
right the fuck out.
566
00:29:20,793 --> 00:29:23,347
Where are you? What are
you doing? You have a spot.
567
00:29:23,451 --> 00:29:25,453
- You need to get back here.
- I'm not coming back.
568
00:29:25,556 --> 00:29:30,596
Listen, Max, I really,
really want you to fly.
569
00:29:30,699 --> 00:29:32,425
Really high. I really do.
570
00:29:32,529 --> 00:29:35,497
But you have got to
stop bombing the runway.
571
00:29:35,601 --> 00:29:37,706
You know the bit I did
about the meds and Ez,
572
00:29:37,810 --> 00:29:39,294
it's all true, right?
573
00:29:39,398 --> 00:29:41,987
Okay, fine. Then come
back and tell them.
574
00:29:42,090 --> 00:29:44,196
But you gotta come back here.
575
00:29:44,299 --> 00:29:46,888
And they'll understand.
Listen, Kimmel loves kids.
576
00:29:48,338 --> 00:29:49,338
So do I.
577
00:30:04,423 --> 00:30:07,426
Shhh.
578
00:30:08,116 --> 00:30:11,464
Hey, remember when we did that
drill down the fire escape?
579
00:30:15,399 --> 00:30:16,469
You wanna do it again?
580
00:30:19,334 --> 00:30:20,888
Okay.
581
00:30:20,991 --> 00:30:22,475
You gotta trust me, buddy.
582
00:30:24,201 --> 00:30:26,321
Oh, yeah, I got a nice bed
for you back here, Ez, huh?
583
00:30:26,376 --> 00:30:28,447
You got your Star Wars
pillow. I got snacks.
584
00:30:28,550 --> 00:30:29,828
This is gonna be fun!
585
00:30:30,587 --> 00:30:33,486
Hey. What are you doing?
What are you doing?
586
00:30:33,590 --> 00:30:35,270
Don't worry about it.
Go back in the house.
587
00:30:35,350 --> 00:30:37,111
- What do you mean?
- Don't worry about it.
588
00:30:37,214 --> 00:30:38,560
You're not taking the car.
589
00:30:38,975 --> 00:30:40,780
- Just having a little father-son time.
- You're not taking the car.
590
00:30:40,804 --> 00:30:42,964
- It's a Thrilla in Manila!
- We're not fighting, Ezra.
591
00:30:43,048 --> 00:30:44,335
We're not fighting,
just talking.
592
00:30:44,359 --> 00:30:46,258
Frazier whipping the mighty Ali!
593
00:30:46,361 --> 00:30:48,753
There's a court order out for you.
Are you crazy? What are you doing?
594
00:30:48,777 --> 00:30:51,263
Down goes Frazier!
Down goes Frazier!
595
00:30:51,366 --> 00:30:52,540
I gotta get him to bed.
596
00:30:52,643 --> 00:30:55,301
Get in the car, Ezra.
Hey, listen to me, okay?
597
00:30:55,405 --> 00:30:57,786
I saw him at that school,
I saw him on those drugs.
598
00:30:57,890 --> 00:30:59,868
They were killing him. I need
to get him away from here.
599
00:30:59,892 --> 00:31:02,077
You're doing it wrong. What the
hell is the matter with you?
600
00:31:02,101 --> 00:31:03,734
Pop, I swear to God,
stop, okay? Just stop.
601
00:31:03,758 --> 00:31:05,840
You told me to fight, I'm
fighting. Let's get in the car, Ez.
602
00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:07,980
You're not fighting, you're
running! What are you doing?
603
00:31:08,004 --> 00:31:09,522
I'm not running.
Ezra, get in the car!
604
00:31:09,626 --> 00:31:10,938
Okay. It's okay.
605
00:31:11,041 --> 00:31:12,363
- I got some waffles for you.
- No.
606
00:31:12,387 --> 00:31:14,389
There's no waffles.
Ez, get in the car.
607
00:31:14,493 --> 00:31:16,944
- You want fresh whipped cream?
- Stop it, please.
608
00:31:17,047 --> 00:31:19,463
Listen, we're family. We're
the Rice Krispie boys.
609
00:31:19,567 --> 00:31:21,569
He's Snap, you're
Crackle, and who am I?
610
00:31:21,672 --> 00:31:22,950
- Pop-Pop!
- That's right!
611
00:31:23,053 --> 00:31:24,813
And we're not fighting,
we're just sparring.
612
00:31:24,917 --> 00:31:25,987
So show me what you got.
613
00:31:26,091 --> 00:31:27,782
That's it! And, and...
614
00:31:27,886 --> 00:31:30,750
- Oh!
- All right! Knock out!
615
00:31:30,854 --> 00:31:32,028
Good job. Come on, buddy.
616
00:31:32,131 --> 00:31:33,615
In the car. Come on. Let's go.
617
00:31:33,719 --> 00:31:36,515
- This is a mistake.
- Let's go. Okay. Says who?
618
00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:39,345
- Can Pop-Pop come?
- No, Pop-Pop can't come.
619
00:31:39,449 --> 00:31:41,358
Pop-Pop's gonna hold the
fort down. Right, Pop-Pop?
620
00:31:41,382 --> 00:31:43,601
- Where are you taking him?
- I'm going to Nick's in Michigan.
621
00:31:43,625 --> 00:31:45,938
Oh, Jesus. That Greek prick.
Of all the fucking people...
622
00:31:46,042 --> 00:31:47,629
Stop it. He's my best friend.
623
00:31:47,733 --> 00:31:48,872
That guy's a fucking thief!
624
00:31:48,976 --> 00:31:50,736
I take him into my
house, he steals from me.
625
00:31:50,839 --> 00:31:52,462
He didn't steal your saucepan.
626
00:31:52,565 --> 00:31:54,958
I'm not stealing your clothes.
Nobody's stealing anything, okay?
627
00:31:54,982 --> 00:31:57,294
You're making a mistake.
You can't do this.
628
00:31:57,398 --> 00:31:59,721
You know what? Take this, please.
Already have enough problems.
629
00:31:59,745 --> 00:32:01,195
- Thank you!
- This is crazy!
630
00:32:01,298 --> 00:32:02,851
- Say, "Bye, Pop-Pop!"
- Bye, Pop-Pop!
631
00:32:02,955 --> 00:32:04,094
Bye, Pop-Pop!
632
00:32:22,664 --> 00:32:24,149
What the fuck am I doing?
633
00:32:28,498 --> 00:32:30,776
♪ Sisyphus peered
Into the mist ♪
634
00:32:30,879 --> 00:32:34,469
♪ A stone's throw From
the precipice, paused ♪
635
00:32:36,023 --> 00:32:37,438
♪ Did he jump or did he fall
636
00:32:37,541 --> 00:32:40,268
♪ As he gazed into the
maw Of the morning mist? ♪
637
00:32:40,372 --> 00:32:42,891
♪ Did he raise both fists
And say "To hell with this" ♪
638
00:32:42,995 --> 00:32:45,687
♪ And just let the rock roll?
639
00:32:48,104 --> 00:32:49,898
♪ Let it roll
640
00:32:50,002 --> 00:32:53,212
♪ Let it crash down low
641
00:32:53,316 --> 00:32:57,320
♪ There's a house down there
But I lost it long ago ♪
642
00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:02,290
Ezzie? Ezzie?
643
00:33:02,394 --> 00:33:03,567
Ezzie?
644
00:33:03,671 --> 00:33:05,155
Ezra?
645
00:33:05,259 --> 00:33:09,435
♪ See my house down there
But I lost it long ago ♪
646
00:33:09,539 --> 00:33:10,539
Ezzie?
647
00:33:11,437 --> 00:33:13,750
Ezra? Ezra!
648
00:33:26,383 --> 00:33:28,592
- Did you get a good night's sleep?
- No.
649
00:33:31,492 --> 00:33:33,045
I bet it's Mom.
650
00:33:33,149 --> 00:33:34,633
I bet you're right. Ugh.
651
00:33:34,736 --> 00:33:37,360
Parental abduction is defined
as one parent taking a child
652
00:33:37,463 --> 00:33:39,638
without permission
from the other parent.
653
00:33:40,363 --> 00:33:43,124
- Yeah.
- You kidnapped Ezra?
654
00:33:43,228 --> 00:33:45,299
I can't be kidnapping
if I'm his father.
655
00:33:45,402 --> 00:33:47,139
Of course it can! You
have a restraining order!
656
00:33:47,163 --> 00:33:48,336
I'm saving my son's life.
657
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,269
Ezzie needs somebody
to advocate for him
658
00:33:50,373 --> 00:33:52,237
the way you and I
used to dotogether.
659
00:33:52,340 --> 00:33:53,652
You know I'm right.
660
00:33:53,755 --> 00:33:56,758
No! No, you're not right,
Max. You are wrong, okay?
661
00:33:56,862 --> 00:33:59,071
You need to bring him home now!
662
00:34:01,177 --> 00:34:02,971
- Is that Ezra?
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
663
00:34:03,075 --> 00:34:04,387
- Let go!
- No bananas!
664
00:34:04,490 --> 00:34:06,423
- No bananas!
- No bananas!
665
00:34:06,527 --> 00:34:08,011
- Get his inhaler!
- Excuse me!
666
00:34:08,115 --> 00:34:09,540
Okay, Ezzie. It's
all right, breathe.
667
00:34:09,564 --> 00:34:12,395
Breathe! Breathe. Breathe.
Breathe, all right.
668
00:34:12,498 --> 00:34:14,742
I got you. It's okay.
Come on. Come on, come on.
669
00:34:14,845 --> 00:34:16,525
Where's the bathroom?
Where's the bathroom?
670
00:34:16,571 --> 00:34:19,091
Come on. You're okay.
671
00:34:22,405 --> 00:34:23,509
He's all right.
672
00:34:23,613 --> 00:34:25,339
Look, I didn't know
that there were
673
00:34:25,442 --> 00:34:27,824
bananas in the oatmeal, right?
674
00:34:27,927 --> 00:34:30,482
- What you're doing is insane!
- Nah, I don't think it is.
675
00:34:30,585 --> 00:34:32,622
That's the problem.
You're not thinking.
676
00:34:32,725 --> 00:34:34,486
Trust me, this is very,
677
00:34:34,589 --> 00:34:35,728
very, very bad.
678
00:34:35,832 --> 00:34:37,005
In fact, this is a crime.
679
00:34:37,109 --> 00:34:38,800
Bring him back!
680
00:34:40,250 --> 00:34:42,149
Max?
681
00:34:42,563 --> 00:34:44,875
Holy shit! He hung
up on me again!
682
00:34:46,463 --> 00:34:47,464
Fuck!
683
00:34:49,121 --> 00:34:50,812
You know, you can
call the police.
684
00:34:53,677 --> 00:34:55,852
No, I'm not... I'm not
gonna make this worse.
685
00:34:55,955 --> 00:34:58,165
I'm not traumatizing my son.
686
00:35:17,632 --> 00:35:20,428
Hey, buddy, what's the
deal with the bananas?
687
00:35:22,948 --> 00:35:26,227
- Hmm?
- I start gagging, and I can't breathe.
688
00:35:26,917 --> 00:35:29,344
Well, okay, but we know that you're
not allergic to bananas, right?
689
00:35:29,368 --> 00:35:31,474
Because we saw that
doctor, remember?
690
00:35:31,577 --> 00:35:34,822
So, maybe the banana thing's
in your mind, you know?
691
00:35:40,655 --> 00:35:44,521
I'm growling and I'm
mooing, what am I?
692
00:35:44,935 --> 00:35:48,076
I got no idea, but you're freakin'
me out there with no shirt on.
693
00:35:48,180 --> 00:35:50,113
Mad cow disease!
694
00:35:50,217 --> 00:35:52,943
Oh, is that original material?
695
00:35:53,047 --> 00:35:54,428
- SpongeBob.
- Ah, I see.
696
00:35:54,531 --> 00:35:55,981
That's why it wasn't funny.
697
00:36:09,339 --> 00:36:10,858
Are you going to prison?
698
00:36:13,826 --> 00:36:17,105
Look, Ez, Dad made a big
decision when I was upset,
699
00:36:17,209 --> 00:36:18,728
and that's never a good idea.
700
00:36:18,831 --> 00:36:20,247
"Bang, bang, bitches.
701
00:36:20,350 --> 00:36:23,008
I'll cut off his head and
feed him to the fishes!"
702
00:36:23,111 --> 00:36:26,114
Okay. Maybe no
more Breaking Bad.
703
00:36:26,218 --> 00:36:28,324
Mom might be right
about that one.
704
00:36:28,427 --> 00:36:30,947
Bruce wants to kill
you. You can't go home.
705
00:36:31,050 --> 00:36:34,778
- Okay, he's definitely not a fan...
- No! That's what he said!
706
00:36:34,882 --> 00:36:35,882
What?
707
00:36:37,125 --> 00:36:39,231
- When?
- When I got hit by the cab.
708
00:36:39,335 --> 00:36:42,338
I was coming to Pop-Pop's
to warn you about Bruce.
709
00:36:43,373 --> 00:36:44,823
Okay, hold that thought, buddy.
710
00:36:51,347 --> 00:36:53,211
Are you telling me
711
00:36:53,314 --> 00:36:55,592
that you didn't run into
the street on purpose?
712
00:36:56,731 --> 00:36:58,423
Ezzie?
713
00:36:58,526 --> 00:37:00,183
Ezzie, I need your eyes, okay?
714
00:37:00,287 --> 00:37:02,012
This is very important.
715
00:37:03,013 --> 00:37:06,293
Are you saying that you didn't
run into the street on purpose?
716
00:37:06,396 --> 00:37:08,743
Am I nuts? A dog
tried to bite me.
717
00:37:11,090 --> 00:37:12,299
Did you tell Mom this?
718
00:37:15,578 --> 00:37:17,856
- Don't be mad.
- Nobody's mad.
719
00:37:17,959 --> 00:37:19,523
- There was...
- I wasn't supposed to tell you?
720
00:37:19,547 --> 00:37:21,066
Yes, of course. Hey.
721
00:37:21,169 --> 00:37:23,724
Telling the truth, that's
your biggest superpower.
722
00:37:23,827 --> 00:37:24,966
Huh?
723
00:37:25,312 --> 00:37:26,554
Thanks for telling me.
724
00:37:27,935 --> 00:37:28,936
You know what?
725
00:37:29,730 --> 00:37:30,800
You know what?
726
00:37:30,903 --> 00:37:32,180
I think we gotta dance.
727
00:37:32,284 --> 00:37:33,734
I think we gotta dance.
728
00:37:34,148 --> 00:37:36,599
Come on. Let's find
a good station.
729
00:37:36,702 --> 00:37:38,980
Ah! There it is. Ah. Can
you move your butt muscles?
730
00:37:39,084 --> 00:37:41,569
Come on. Let's go. Move
it up. Into your chest.
731
00:37:41,673 --> 00:37:44,538
Into your shoulders.
Ah, yeah! Let it roll.
732
00:37:44,641 --> 00:37:47,334
Let it roll. Down to the ass.
Back up to the shoulders.
733
00:37:47,437 --> 00:37:50,958
Now some pops. Some
claps. Huh? Elbows up.
734
00:37:51,061 --> 00:37:52,546
Ah, yeah, let it roll.
735
00:37:52,649 --> 00:37:54,455
Let it roll. Come on. Up
into your chest, dude.
736
00:37:54,479 --> 00:37:55,825
Into your chest, Ezzie.
737
00:37:55,928 --> 00:37:58,517
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Let it roll. Let it roll.
738
00:37:58,621 --> 00:38:00,347
♪ Express yourself
739
00:38:06,318 --> 00:38:08,251
I need to rinse!
740
00:38:08,355 --> 00:38:10,391
Coming.
741
00:38:14,430 --> 00:38:15,431
Hey, Jayne.
742
00:38:15,534 --> 00:38:17,571
- Where the hell are you?
- Uh,
743
00:38:17,674 --> 00:38:19,273
I'm just taking a
little time off with Ez.
744
00:38:19,297 --> 00:38:21,160
Not a good time
to take off, Max.
745
00:38:21,851 --> 00:38:24,302
Yeah. I... I know. I
know. I... I screwed up.
746
00:38:24,405 --> 00:38:26,027
Yes, you did, and
they were pissed!
747
00:38:26,131 --> 00:38:28,616
Yeah, look, I had a bad
night. It happens, right?
748
00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:31,861
No.[scoffs] Sal Argento
had a bad night.
749
00:38:31,964 --> 00:38:34,450
Yeah. I guess that's
something, right?
750
00:38:34,553 --> 00:38:36,624
No, what's something
is having a manager
751
00:38:36,728 --> 00:38:39,178
who gets Jimmy Kimmel
to watch the video.
752
00:38:39,282 --> 00:38:40,870
Video?
753
00:38:40,973 --> 00:38:42,389
What... what video?
754
00:38:42,492 --> 00:38:44,391
The one I made with my phone!
755
00:38:44,494 --> 00:38:46,427
He wants to book you.
756
00:38:46,531 --> 00:38:48,602
- What?
- I need to rinse!
757
00:38:48,705 --> 00:38:50,811
So you have to get
yourself to LA.
758
00:38:50,914 --> 00:38:53,261
They're not gonna fly you.
Is that gonna be a problem?
759
00:38:53,365 --> 00:38:54,884
Uh, no.
760
00:38:55,194 --> 00:38:57,438
- Uh, when?
- Next Friday,
761
00:38:57,542 --> 00:38:59,337
4:00 pm in the Kimmel studio.
762
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:01,269
Rinse!
763
00:39:01,373 --> 00:39:03,444
Okay. All right.
I'm coming. Uh...
764
00:39:04,065 --> 00:39:06,205
- He loved you, Max.
- He loved me, really?
765
00:39:06,309 --> 00:39:07,552
I love you, Jayne.
766
00:39:07,655 --> 00:39:09,726
You're full of shit. Bye.
767
00:39:09,830 --> 00:39:10,727
Rinse!
768
00:39:10,831 --> 00:39:13,454
Okay. I'm coming.
I'm coming. Hey, ow!
769
00:39:13,558 --> 00:39:15,870
Shit! That's boiling
hot! Come on, get out!
770
00:39:15,974 --> 00:39:18,010
Get out! Get out!
Get out! Come on.
771
00:39:18,114 --> 00:39:20,195
What... what are you doing? Why...
don't you feel it? It's hot!
772
00:39:20,219 --> 00:39:22,877
- I don't... I don't feel hot!
- Okay, it's hot, though.
773
00:39:22,981 --> 00:39:24,638
Okay? Look at your
arms. They're all red!
774
00:39:24,741 --> 00:39:26,778
Mom checks the temperature!
775
00:39:26,881 --> 00:39:30,091
That's fine, but if you see steam,
it means it's too hot, okay?
776
00:39:30,195 --> 00:39:31,748
- God damn it!
- My stupid brain.
777
00:39:31,852 --> 00:39:33,932
- Stop, no. Hey, come on. Sit down.
- Stupid! Stupid!
778
00:39:34,026 --> 00:39:35,856
- Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
- Stop that, okay?
779
00:39:35,959 --> 00:39:38,134
You're not stupid! You're
not... stop hitting yourself.
780
00:39:38,237 --> 00:39:40,619
Hey, hey, hey, listen to me.
Hey, hey. You're not stupid.
781
00:39:40,723 --> 00:39:42,203
You're not stupid.
You're smart, okay?
782
00:39:42,276 --> 00:39:45,866
If you see steam, it means
it's too hot. Easy-peasy, okay?
783
00:39:47,626 --> 00:39:50,180
It's on the cards.
784
00:39:50,284 --> 00:39:51,975
We don't have the fucking cards!
785
00:39:53,494 --> 00:39:54,909
I'm sorry.
786
00:39:55,565 --> 00:39:57,774
- Mom uses Bactine.
- Oh, yeah? Well, guess what.
787
00:39:57,878 --> 00:39:59,742
We don't have
Bactine, so you and I,
788
00:39:59,845 --> 00:40:01,951
we're gonna have to figure
it out together, all right?
789
00:40:02,054 --> 00:40:04,505
There we go. Nice.
790
00:40:04,609 --> 00:40:05,793
You know what? I
got a better idea.
791
00:40:05,817 --> 00:40:07,784
I got a better
idea. Let go. Here.
792
00:40:08,095 --> 00:40:11,581
Ready? Come on. Stand
up. Stand up. Arms up.
793
00:40:12,168 --> 00:40:14,688
Huh? Armpits. Isn't this fun?
794
00:40:14,791 --> 00:40:17,484
Huh? Does Mom do
stuff like this? No?
795
00:40:17,587 --> 00:40:19,278
I didn't think so. Okay.
796
00:40:19,382 --> 00:40:20,832
We got this!
797
00:40:21,626 --> 00:40:23,213
Why do you always yell?
798
00:40:24,836 --> 00:40:27,321
Because Pop-Pop used
to lock me in the attic
799
00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:28,529
chained to a radiator.
800
00:40:28,633 --> 00:40:30,876
I had to yell so he'd
remember to feed me.
801
00:40:30,980 --> 00:40:33,258
There are no
radiators in attics.
802
00:40:33,707 --> 00:40:35,847
You are good. Nothing
gets past you.
803
00:40:37,711 --> 00:40:38,953
Boom. There you go.
804
00:40:39,057 --> 00:40:40,921
I want to talk to
you about something.
805
00:40:41,024 --> 00:40:43,717
I just got off the
phone with Aunt Jayne.
806
00:40:44,614 --> 00:40:48,376
Turns out Jimmy Kimmel wants me
to be on his show in Los Angeles.
807
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:49,654
That's far.
808
00:40:50,309 --> 00:40:52,001
Yeah, it is far.
809
00:40:52,657 --> 00:40:56,868
Did you get the part about Jimmy Kimmel
wanting me to be a guest on his show?
810
00:40:56,971 --> 00:40:58,179
Yeah?
811
00:40:58,283 --> 00:41:00,250
So, you got anything for me?
812
00:41:00,354 --> 00:41:01,735
Any advice for your dad?
813
00:41:03,875 --> 00:41:04,945
Be polite.
814
00:41:05,048 --> 00:41:06,118
"Be polite."
815
00:41:07,430 --> 00:41:08,638
Anything else?
816
00:41:09,743 --> 00:41:12,504
- Nope. Now stop asking me.
- Okay.
817
00:41:13,954 --> 00:41:15,414
But where am I gonna
get my mojo from?
818
00:41:15,438 --> 00:41:18,510
- Mojo man!
- That's right.
819
00:41:18,614 --> 00:41:20,443
Good. Okay.
820
00:41:20,857 --> 00:41:22,376
Let's have a staring contest.
821
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,136
- I don't want to.
- Come on.
822
00:41:24,240 --> 00:41:25,759
- For me? Please.
- No.
823
00:41:26,553 --> 00:41:28,002
- Pretty please?
- No.
824
00:41:28,416 --> 00:41:30,142
What if I make it
worth your while?
825
00:41:32,455 --> 00:41:35,907
If I win, we go trick-or-treat?
826
00:41:37,115 --> 00:41:38,565
Yeah, deal.
827
00:41:39,013 --> 00:41:41,878
Ready? Come on. First
one that blinks loses.
828
00:41:41,982 --> 00:41:44,122
Go, one, two,
829
00:41:44,225 --> 00:41:45,813
three, four...
830
00:41:45,917 --> 00:41:48,402
- Are you autistic?
- Five, six...
831
00:41:48,954 --> 00:41:50,542
- seven...
- Mom says you are.
832
00:41:50,646 --> 00:41:53,338
Eight... Mom thinks
everyone's autistic...
833
00:41:53,441 --> 00:41:55,685
- nine, ten...
- She thinks you got it from Pop-Pop,
834
00:41:55,789 --> 00:41:57,273
who gave it to you,
who gave it to me.
835
00:41:57,376 --> 00:41:59,862
Listen to me. Nobody knows
for sure, okay, honey?
836
00:41:59,965 --> 00:42:01,104
Nobody.
837
00:42:01,277 --> 00:42:03,141
But it doesn't matter
'cause you're awesome.
838
00:42:03,244 --> 00:42:04,625
Fourteen, 15, 16...
839
00:42:04,729 --> 00:42:06,834
- Does Mom love me?
- Seventeen.
840
00:42:08,077 --> 00:42:10,976
Buddy, Mom loves you more
than anything in the world.
841
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:12,253
Yeah. Okay?
842
00:42:12,391 --> 00:42:14,197
She and I, we're just having
a disagreement right now.
843
00:42:14,221 --> 00:42:18,190
- You blinked! I win!
- Uh! Oh, you did so good.
844
00:42:18,294 --> 00:42:20,468
You did so good. You win.
845
00:42:20,572 --> 00:42:22,540
Good job, buddy.
846
00:42:22,643 --> 00:42:26,095
Let's go. Bring it.
Yeah, baby! Whoo!
847
00:42:27,786 --> 00:42:29,236
Stan, can you open up, please!
848
00:42:30,513 --> 00:42:31,514
Stan!
849
00:42:32,964 --> 00:42:35,794
We need to talk!
850
00:42:35,898 --> 00:42:37,451
Stan?
851
00:42:37,555 --> 00:42:39,073
Hey, I know you're in there!
852
00:42:39,177 --> 00:42:40,903
Open the door!
853
00:42:41,662 --> 00:42:42,836
Open the door!
854
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,669
Stan, just talk to me, please?
855
00:42:49,221 --> 00:42:51,361
I'm worried about them.
856
00:42:54,192 --> 00:42:55,193
Please?
857
00:43:05,168 --> 00:43:06,238
You don't give a shit!
858
00:43:06,894 --> 00:43:07,894
Huh?
859
00:43:07,999 --> 00:43:10,173
You're going to let Max
ruin his life again!
860
00:43:10,277 --> 00:43:12,762
And your boys too!
861
00:43:13,729 --> 00:43:15,593
Jerk!
862
00:43:32,851 --> 00:43:35,820
♪ Watching a stretch of road
863
00:43:37,131 --> 00:43:40,341
♪ Miles of light explode
864
00:43:41,653 --> 00:43:44,587
♪ Drifting off a thing
865
00:43:45,139 --> 00:43:48,073
♪ I'd never done before ♪
866
00:43:49,972 --> 00:43:53,147
♪ Watching a crowd roll in
867
00:43:54,459 --> 00:43:57,738
♪ Out go the lights it begins
868
00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:02,053
Hey! There they are!
869
00:44:02,605 --> 00:44:03,675
- Hey!
- Hey!
870
00:44:03,779 --> 00:44:05,746
Hello, baby!
871
00:44:05,850 --> 00:44:09,543
Ezzie, get on out here and
give your Uncle Nicky a hug!
872
00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:12,995
Oh, come on, come here! Hey, where
you going, kid? Oh, I got you.
873
00:44:13,098 --> 00:44:16,067
Oh, that's it. That's it! You
are dead. You're so dead! Oh!
874
00:44:17,620 --> 00:44:20,002
Hi! I'm Margaret.
875
00:44:20,105 --> 00:44:21,313
How are you?
876
00:44:22,590 --> 00:44:24,385
Wanna help me set the table?
877
00:44:25,973 --> 00:44:27,354
Come on.
878
00:44:27,941 --> 00:44:31,496
- Oh, you're...
- Oh! Look at you!
879
00:44:31,599 --> 00:44:34,568
No chance! Jesus
Christ, man. Huh?
880
00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:37,536
Bottomless s'mores
when you run a camp.
881
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:39,642
- Endless s'mores.
- Can you get that?
882
00:44:39,746 --> 00:44:41,068
- I'm not gonna carry anything.
- Okay.
883
00:44:41,092 --> 00:44:42,828
What's up with the, uh...
the bad habit there?
884
00:44:42,852 --> 00:44:44,820
That's Sister
Margaret from Senegal.
885
00:44:44,923 --> 00:44:46,753
Oh. That's way outta town.
886
00:44:46,856 --> 00:44:49,341
Yeah, she's, uh, staying
with a family in Ann Arbor.
887
00:44:49,445 --> 00:44:50,722
She goes to Michigan.
888
00:44:50,964 --> 00:44:53,207
You know that they want nuns
to have a bachelor's degree?
889
00:44:53,311 --> 00:44:56,383
- Why the fuck would I know that?
- I mean, can you imagine that?
890
00:44:56,486 --> 00:44:59,075
Four years of college before
you can say your vows.
891
00:44:59,179 --> 00:45:00,870
But as long as
she's on my staff,
892
00:45:00,974 --> 00:45:02,872
Catholic church pays
half my expenses.
893
00:45:02,976 --> 00:45:05,254
Huh. Scammin' the
Vatican. I'm proud of you.
894
00:45:05,357 --> 00:45:07,290
- Yeah, huh.
- There's no cheese on it.
895
00:45:07,394 --> 00:45:09,637
Wait 'til you try
it. It's incredible.
896
00:45:09,741 --> 00:45:11,570
She uses ancient
Senegalese spices.
897
00:45:11,674 --> 00:45:12,794
I got the spice from Costco.
898
00:45:12,882 --> 00:45:14,781
- Whoa!
- Costco.
899
00:45:14,884 --> 00:45:17,404
That sounds exotic! Costco.
900
00:45:17,507 --> 00:45:19,406
I thought you brought
it from Senegal.
901
00:45:19,509 --> 00:45:21,546
No. You're mixing
up the cheeses.
902
00:45:21,649 --> 00:45:24,066
And she puts goat... she
puts goat in the lasagna.
903
00:45:24,169 --> 00:45:27,276
- What's wrong?
- Metal hurts my teeth.
904
00:45:28,208 --> 00:45:31,625
Okay, but you know, plastic
hurts the planet. So...
905
00:45:31,729 --> 00:45:34,052
Oh, I got some plastic right in
the store room, I can just...
906
00:45:34,076 --> 00:45:35,836
No, no. We're okay.
We're gonna use the fork.
907
00:45:35,871 --> 00:45:36,906
It's okay...
908
00:45:37,010 --> 00:45:38,056
It's mind over matter
like the bananas.
909
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:39,806
Come on, Ezzie, try it.
910
00:45:40,807 --> 00:45:41,980
Ezzie.
911
00:45:42,084 --> 00:45:43,844
E... Ez, come on.
That's not polite.
912
00:45:43,948 --> 00:45:45,950
Pick up the fork
and try it please.
913
00:45:46,053 --> 00:45:48,193
- Ez?
- I... I need plastic.
914
00:45:48,297 --> 00:45:50,920
- Mom has plastic!
- Okay. Well, Mom's not here.
915
00:45:51,024 --> 00:45:53,129
Ezra. Where you going?
916
00:45:53,647 --> 00:45:56,201
- Ezra?
- I need plastic!
917
00:45:56,305 --> 00:45:58,790
- You don't listen to me!
- Sorry, guys.
918
00:45:58,894 --> 00:46:00,654
Ez, come on. Come
on back, please.
919
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:02,104
It hurts me!
920
00:46:02,207 --> 00:46:04,037
- Because they're razor sharp!
- Ezzie! Ezzie!
921
00:46:04,140 --> 00:46:05,832
- It's not in my mind!
- Ezzie!
922
00:46:05,935 --> 00:46:08,248
- Ezra, come and sit down!
- I'm not taking it!
923
00:46:08,351 --> 00:46:09,812
I'll make you a deal. I'll
let you eat with your fingers
924
00:46:09,836 --> 00:46:11,665
if you try a fork once.
925
00:46:11,769 --> 00:46:14,564
- It hurts! It hurts!
- Once, Ezra.
926
00:46:15,842 --> 00:46:17,050
I would take that deal.
927
00:46:17,153 --> 00:46:19,604
- I need plastic!
- Sounds like a good deal.
928
00:46:19,707 --> 00:46:21,779
Plus, I'm gonna use
my fingers, too.
929
00:46:21,882 --> 00:46:23,090
So will I.
930
00:46:25,368 --> 00:46:26,784
Once, Ezzie?
931
00:46:28,647 --> 00:46:29,959
Deal?
932
00:46:31,754 --> 00:46:35,275
Okay! Let's do it!
Let's get to work!
933
00:46:35,378 --> 00:46:36,724
All right!
934
00:46:37,139 --> 00:46:39,486
Come on, Max. Join the party.
935
00:46:40,004 --> 00:46:42,661
Join the lasagna
party. Now... oh, God.
936
00:46:42,765 --> 00:46:44,387
- Oh, man. Of course.
- Oh, my!
937
00:46:44,491 --> 00:46:47,321
"They each shouldered the
heavy pack and the water skin
938
00:46:47,425 --> 00:46:48,702
which was their share,
939
00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:52,464
then turned from the light
that lay on the lands outside
940
00:46:52,568 --> 00:46:54,708
and plunged into the forest."
941
00:47:39,787 --> 00:47:41,410
You can go now.
942
00:47:46,484 --> 00:47:47,934
Ezzie, did you just...
943
00:47:51,834 --> 00:47:52,973
For me?
944
00:47:54,078 --> 00:47:55,596
You can go now.
945
00:47:56,321 --> 00:47:57,321
Okay?
946
00:47:58,772 --> 00:48:00,256
Goodbye.
947
00:48:03,397 --> 00:48:04,467
Okay.
948
00:48:21,795 --> 00:48:25,661
Max, oh, my goodness, I
have a crush on your son.
949
00:48:25,764 --> 00:48:27,007
Ah, he'll break your heart.
950
00:48:27,111 --> 00:48:28,698
Don't worry. I can take it.
951
00:48:28,802 --> 00:48:30,217
All right, but you know what?
952
00:48:30,321 --> 00:48:32,875
If there's no future, Sister,
let's not lead him on.
953
00:48:32,979 --> 00:48:35,119
Hey, hey. I haven't
taken my vows yet.
954
00:48:35,222 --> 00:48:37,707
- Oh!
- Uh-oh. [chuckles] Okay.
955
00:48:45,060 --> 00:48:46,371
Good night.
956
00:48:46,475 --> 00:48:48,097
- Good night.
- Smoking, huh?
957
00:48:48,201 --> 00:48:50,513
The wages of sin is death.
958
00:48:51,031 --> 00:48:52,791
Did she just bless you?
959
00:48:53,068 --> 00:48:54,828
She does it every
time she leaves.
960
00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:56,726
I think it's making
me a better man.
961
00:48:59,143 --> 00:49:03,216
Look, I... I don't want to be sacrilegious,
but I think this could be love.
962
00:49:03,906 --> 00:49:04,906
Hey.
963
00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:06,012
I'm Greek Orthodox,
964
00:49:06,115 --> 00:49:07,358
and we don't go there.
965
00:49:07,461 --> 00:49:09,049
Okay?
966
00:49:09,153 --> 00:49:11,431
And she, oh...
she's a holy spirit.
967
00:49:11,534 --> 00:49:13,916
- All right. Here you go.
- I'm just saying, man.
968
00:49:14,020 --> 00:49:16,470
House in the woods,
summer camp, hot nun.
969
00:49:18,093 --> 00:49:21,061
Yeah, it sure beats telling
dick jokes to drunken tourists.
970
00:49:21,165 --> 00:49:22,545
Hey, it's a living.
971
00:49:24,030 --> 00:49:25,548
It wasn't for me.
972
00:49:27,999 --> 00:49:29,242
So why are you here?
973
00:49:29,345 --> 00:49:30,985
What do you mean? I
needed a little Nicky.
974
00:49:32,210 --> 00:49:33,798
You got a little bit of Nicky,
975
00:49:33,901 --> 00:49:38,320
and, uh, Nicky's a
little concerned.
976
00:49:38,423 --> 00:49:40,770
You haven't signed the
papers yet, have you?
977
00:49:41,185 --> 00:49:43,014
Seriously?
978
00:49:46,224 --> 00:49:49,089
- That's it. You blew my high.
- Are you gonna cry?
979
00:49:49,193 --> 00:49:50,988
Do you wanna cry?
You wanna let it go?
980
00:49:51,091 --> 00:49:52,817
Come to Papa Bear. Come on.
981
00:49:53,473 --> 00:49:55,371
I tried to give her
everything, Nick.
982
00:49:55,475 --> 00:49:56,855
But where would she put it?
983
00:49:59,375 --> 00:50:01,895
- God bless Steven Wright.
- Ah.
984
00:50:01,999 --> 00:50:04,277
"All those who believe
in psychokinesis
985
00:50:04,380 --> 00:50:07,728
- raise my hand."
- "Raise my hand."
986
00:50:07,832 --> 00:50:10,524
I broke into Jenna's house
in the middle of the night,
987
00:50:10,628 --> 00:50:11,939
and I kidnapped Ezra.
988
00:50:15,736 --> 00:50:17,117
All right, I'll play along.
989
00:50:17,221 --> 00:50:19,706
Why did you break into
Jenna's house and kidnap Ezra?
990
00:50:19,809 --> 00:50:22,709
Ezzie snuck out of Jenna's
and got hit by a cab.
991
00:50:22,812 --> 00:50:23,986
What?
992
00:50:24,297 --> 00:50:26,540
His doctor said he might've
done it on purpose.
993
00:50:26,644 --> 00:50:27,644
Shit!
994
00:50:27,679 --> 00:50:29,543
You think that was true?
995
00:50:29,647 --> 00:50:32,305
No! Wha... you kidding me?
996
00:50:32,408 --> 00:50:35,239
Every day he wakes up,
that kid chooses life.
997
00:50:35,825 --> 00:50:37,103
Oh, good.
998
00:50:38,207 --> 00:50:40,278
That's good.
999
00:50:40,692 --> 00:50:41,969
So why'd you do it?
1000
00:50:42,625 --> 00:50:45,018
Jenna thinks he should go to a
special needs school, and I don't.
1001
00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:47,113
- Why not?
- Because in public school,
1002
00:50:47,216 --> 00:50:49,839
you know, he'll learn how to fight,
learn how to protect himself.
1003
00:50:49,943 --> 00:50:51,196
What are you, the great Santini?
1004
00:50:51,220 --> 00:50:52,900
What are you... what
are you talking about?
1005
00:50:52,980 --> 00:50:55,155
I see people move
away from Ez, right?
1006
00:50:55,569 --> 00:50:58,193
He has a temper tantrum or he's
just walking down the street.
1007
00:50:58,296 --> 00:51:02,093
You know, people aren't trying to
be mean, it's just that it's easier.
1008
00:51:02,197 --> 00:51:04,268
You know the word "autism"
comes from the Greek
1009
00:51:04,371 --> 00:51:05,648
"in your own world."
1010
00:51:05,752 --> 00:51:08,341
I don't want him in his
own world, Nick. I...
1011
00:51:13,380 --> 00:51:14,795
I want him in this world.
1012
00:51:26,704 --> 00:51:28,050
You make it back okay?
1013
00:51:28,395 --> 00:51:29,776
Put Max on the phone.
1014
00:51:29,879 --> 00:51:32,192
Oh, my God.
1015
00:51:32,296 --> 00:51:34,021
I don't have your pan.
1016
00:51:34,125 --> 00:51:35,437
Hello.
1017
00:51:38,164 --> 00:51:40,166
- Hello?
- Yeah, I'm right here, Pop.
1018
00:51:40,269 --> 00:51:41,902
What do you think, the
world stopped for you
1019
00:51:41,926 --> 00:51:44,146
- to hang out with this idiot?
- What are you talking about?
1020
00:51:44,170 --> 00:51:46,172
She took my son and
I took him back!
1021
00:51:46,275 --> 00:51:48,243
You made a promise, you
didn't keep your promise.
1022
00:51:48,346 --> 00:51:50,210
She's throwing rocks
at my window now.
1023
00:51:50,314 --> 00:51:51,867
- Hang up the phone.
- Hello?
1024
00:51:51,970 --> 00:51:53,420
I'm coming there tomorrow!
1025
00:51:53,524 --> 00:51:54,973
- No!
- Then listen to me carefully.
1026
00:51:55,077 --> 00:51:56,941
Call Ezzie's mom.
1027
00:51:57,044 --> 00:51:59,909
- You hear me? Call Ezzie's mom.
- I don't have your pan.
1028
00:52:06,364 --> 00:52:08,435
- Where are you?
- Uh, don't worry about it.
1029
00:52:08,539 --> 00:52:11,542
- Where are you? Where are you?
- You know, Jen, I gotta say,
1030
00:52:11,645 --> 00:52:13,923
in spite of everything
that we've been through,
1031
00:52:14,027 --> 00:52:16,247
I... I really believed you when
you said that no matter what,
1032
00:52:16,271 --> 00:52:18,135
we were gonna treat
each other like family,
1033
00:52:18,238 --> 00:52:19,733
and we were gonna be
honest with each other.
1034
00:52:19,757 --> 00:52:21,838
- Remember you said that?
- You haven't been honest, Max.
1035
00:52:21,862 --> 00:52:24,520
You took him, and you
need to bring him home!
1036
00:52:24,624 --> 00:52:25,832
L-Let me ask you something.
1037
00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:27,810
Did Ezra tell you that the
reason he ran into the street
1038
00:52:27,834 --> 00:52:30,526
was because he thought he
was gonna get bit by a dog?
1039
00:52:30,630 --> 00:52:33,322
Yes, I mean, what
difference does it make?
1040
00:52:33,426 --> 00:52:36,394
He ran out of the house
in his pajamas, barefoot,
1041
00:52:36,498 --> 00:52:38,155
and he nearly got hit by a cab!
1042
00:52:38,258 --> 00:52:40,374
Yeah, because he heard your
boyfriend say he was gonna kill me.
1043
00:52:40,398 --> 00:52:41,758
Yeah, and he was
coming to warn me.
1044
00:52:41,848 --> 00:52:44,747
Okay, y... you're
scaring me now, Max.
1045
00:52:44,851 --> 00:52:47,647
I'm scaring you? Why don't
you ask your boyfriend?
1046
00:52:47,957 --> 00:52:49,235
You know Ezzie doesn't lie!
1047
00:52:49,338 --> 00:52:51,375
Okay. Hey, hey,
you... you're right.
1048
00:52:51,478 --> 00:52:53,791
You are family. You are.
1049
00:52:54,309 --> 00:52:57,208
But you need to just
bring him home now, okay?
1050
00:52:58,692 --> 00:53:01,005
Come home, and we'll
talk about all of this.
1051
00:53:01,488 --> 00:53:02,765
None of this is easy,
1052
00:53:02,869 --> 00:53:06,044
but all I ever wanted was
just to protect our boy.
1053
00:53:06,493 --> 00:53:08,081
Well, I'm protecting him now.
1054
00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:09,634
And leave my father alone.
1055
00:53:14,743 --> 00:53:18,022
You waited four days to
call about a missing child
1056
00:53:18,125 --> 00:53:19,955
taken by a man you're divorcing,
1057
00:53:20,058 --> 00:53:22,820
who has a restraining order
keeping him from seeing that child.
1058
00:53:22,923 --> 00:53:25,616
- Is that about right?
- I know how it sounds.
1059
00:53:26,444 --> 00:53:27,652
He's his father.
1060
00:53:27,756 --> 00:53:29,206
You don't think
he'd hurt your son?
1061
00:53:29,309 --> 00:53:30,931
No. No, no, absolutely not.
1062
00:53:31,311 --> 00:53:33,313
All right. Um, let's
make a few calls.
1063
00:53:33,417 --> 00:53:36,523
We'll see if we can find him,
and, um, put a trace on his phone.
1064
00:53:36,627 --> 00:53:38,422
No disrespect, Mike, but no.
1065
00:53:38,525 --> 00:53:42,149
I'm sorry, miss, but right now
I'm not feelin' good about this.
1066
00:53:42,253 --> 00:53:43,979
- You understand?
- Yeah, I understand.
1067
00:53:44,082 --> 00:53:47,776
Good, because from a missing
and exploited child perspective,
1068
00:53:47,879 --> 00:53:50,227
we need to issue
an Amber Alert now.
1069
00:53:50,330 --> 00:53:52,332
Are you sure this
situation warrants...
1070
00:53:52,436 --> 00:53:54,955
Margo, let's just start with
a missing person's report
1071
00:53:55,059 --> 00:53:57,164
Amber is for situations
exactly like this one.
1072
00:53:57,268 --> 00:53:58,959
And we're late, ma'am.
1073
00:53:59,063 --> 00:54:01,583
I'm afraid it's
not your decision.
1074
00:54:03,895 --> 00:54:05,483
You know how to do it?
1075
00:54:22,293 --> 00:54:25,710
Hey, that's nice. Thank you.
1076
00:54:26,159 --> 00:54:28,748
- Packed up and ready to go.
- Okay.
1077
00:54:31,578 --> 00:54:33,546
I don't think that kid's
ready to go, though.
1078
00:54:33,649 --> 00:54:35,030
- Hmm?
- You see him over there
1079
00:54:35,133 --> 00:54:37,446
- making lanyards with Sister Margaret?
- Yeah.
1080
00:54:37,550 --> 00:54:39,690
Kid's trying to steal my girl.
1081
00:54:39,793 --> 00:54:42,244
They look good together.
1082
00:54:42,348 --> 00:54:44,902
I think it's the
autism. Chicks dig it.
1083
00:54:45,730 --> 00:54:48,250
Sometimes I think I
might be on the spectrum.
1084
00:54:48,906 --> 00:54:50,386
I think you check
a lot of the boxes.
1085
00:54:50,459 --> 00:54:52,047
- Yeah.
- But, nah, I just think
1086
00:54:52,150 --> 00:54:53,980
you're a strange dude.
1087
00:54:54,083 --> 00:54:57,259
Yeah, I'm just uncomfortable
in social situations.
1088
00:54:57,363 --> 00:54:58,674
It's good you're out here.
1089
00:54:58,778 --> 00:55:01,988
- Yeah. Keeps me away from...
- Everyone.
1090
00:55:02,091 --> 00:55:04,611
- People.
- Yeah. Yeah.
1091
00:55:05,232 --> 00:55:07,683
You guys are welcome to stay.
1092
00:55:07,787 --> 00:55:11,066
Oh, buddy. I'd love to stay,
but we can't. I gotta be in LA.
1093
00:55:11,446 --> 00:55:12,895
What's in LA?
1094
00:55:14,932 --> 00:55:16,071
I booked Kimmel.
1095
00:55:18,556 --> 00:55:20,396
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Yeah, it's not...
1096
00:55:20,420 --> 00:55:23,009
You wouldn't lead with
that? That's amazing!
1097
00:55:23,112 --> 00:55:25,252
- Yeah, it's okay.
- Max, come on!
1098
00:55:25,356 --> 00:55:26,944
- Kimmel, that's great!
- Yeah.
1099
00:55:27,047 --> 00:55:30,499
Best I did is get bumped from
Arsenio. Worst night of my life.
1100
00:55:30,603 --> 00:55:32,777
Hasselhoff segment ran long.
1101
00:55:32,881 --> 00:55:35,332
I'll tell you
what, you go to LA,
1102
00:55:35,435 --> 00:55:36,930
you work on your
set, you get relaxed,
1103
00:55:36,954 --> 00:55:39,104
you get focused, you get
centered, take care of yourself.
1104
00:55:39,128 --> 00:55:40,198
Leave Ezra with me.
1105
00:55:40,302 --> 00:55:41,383
Me and Margaret will
take care of him...
1106
00:55:41,407 --> 00:55:42,580
I can't do it, buddy.
1107
00:55:42,684 --> 00:55:44,144
- I gotta have him with me.
- Why not?
1108
00:55:44,168 --> 00:55:46,929
Because I need him. He
keeps my feet on the ground.
1109
00:55:47,274 --> 00:55:49,069
All right, fine.
1110
00:55:49,173 --> 00:55:51,244
I'll bake you a cake and
bring it to you in prison.
1111
00:55:51,348 --> 00:55:54,212
Okay, well, make sure you
throw Stan's saucepan in there.
1112
00:55:54,316 --> 00:55:56,353
I don't have the pan.
1113
00:55:59,045 --> 00:56:02,428
Okay, Mr. and Mrs.
Carlton. Have a lovely day.
1114
00:56:04,671 --> 00:56:06,155
Where are they?
1115
00:56:06,259 --> 00:56:08,226
What do you mean? Just call him.
1116
00:56:08,330 --> 00:56:10,401
He doesn't answer.
He's just like you.
1117
00:56:10,505 --> 00:56:12,679
I... well, I can't talk.
I'm working. I can't.
1118
00:56:12,783 --> 00:56:15,302
Hello, Mrs. C. And how are
you today, young ladies?
1119
00:56:15,406 --> 00:56:16,856
- Hi, Stan!
- Score a goal,
1120
00:56:16,959 --> 00:56:18,696
there's a box of Cracker
Jacks in there for you.
1121
00:56:18,720 --> 00:56:20,249
Cracker Jacks are no
good for her teeth.
1122
00:56:20,273 --> 00:56:22,206
There's gonna be an Amber Alert.
1123
00:56:22,551 --> 00:56:24,080
What do you mean? You
called the cops on him?
1124
00:56:24,104 --> 00:56:25,382
Where is Ezzie?
1125
00:56:27,556 --> 00:56:29,903
He's with his father. You
shouldn't have done that.
1126
00:56:30,007 --> 00:56:32,112
That's a... that's a
very bad thing to do.
1127
00:56:32,216 --> 00:56:33,804
- I did a bad thing?
- Yes.
1128
00:56:33,907 --> 00:56:36,082
- You're making it so he can't see him.
- Max did that!
1129
00:56:36,185 --> 00:56:38,291
- What did you expect him to do?
- Not kidnap him!
1130
00:56:38,395 --> 00:56:40,914
You made it kid... you
made it kidnapping.
1131
00:56:43,192 --> 00:56:44,815
Please. Please.
1132
00:56:44,918 --> 00:56:47,369
- Stan, I don't...
- How could you do that?
1133
00:56:47,473 --> 00:56:49,129
Amber Alert. Do you
know what that is?
1134
00:56:49,233 --> 00:56:51,684
- I don't wanna fight.
- Well, I don't wanna fight either,
1135
00:56:51,787 --> 00:56:53,547
but all of a sudden you
don't believe in him.
1136
00:56:53,617 --> 00:56:55,308
Now you're gonna... Amber Alert?
1137
00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:57,804
I got tired of not knowing what
he was gonna do on any given day.
1138
00:56:57,828 --> 00:57:01,038
I'm already so tired with
Ezzie. Please, I just...
1139
00:57:01,418 --> 00:57:05,387
I'm... I'm scared. I'm tired.
I'm alone. And I need help.
1140
00:57:06,112 --> 00:57:08,735
Rice Krispies boys
make me really tired.
1141
00:57:16,847 --> 00:57:18,780
All right, well,
we're gonna have to...
1142
00:57:18,883 --> 00:57:21,472
we're gonna have to get
to 'em before the cops do.
1143
00:57:23,336 --> 00:57:25,131
- We?
- Yeah, we. Yeah.
1144
00:57:25,234 --> 00:57:27,029
The shift ends,
we start driving.
1145
00:57:28,410 --> 00:57:29,730
Take 11 hours to
get to Michigan.
1146
00:57:29,825 --> 00:57:31,724
Hopefully, get to
them by tomorrow.
1147
00:57:32,932 --> 00:57:34,243
He's at Nick's?
1148
00:57:35,175 --> 00:57:38,213
Yes. He's with Nick. I'm not
happy about that, but yes.
1149
00:57:38,731 --> 00:57:41,147
Unfortunately, we're
going to Nick's. Yeah.
1150
00:57:41,561 --> 00:57:43,425
I have a self-destructive
personality.
1151
00:57:45,013 --> 00:57:47,464
But it's okay 'cause I
recently had a breakthrough.
1152
00:57:47,567 --> 00:57:50,536
After thousands of hours
of hypnosis therapy,
1153
00:57:50,639 --> 00:57:52,745
I finally met my inner child.
1154
00:57:54,263 --> 00:57:55,299
And he had a gun.
1155
00:58:01,478 --> 00:58:03,445
Yeah, oh, hey. What's
up, little guy?
1156
00:58:03,549 --> 00:58:06,137
Whoa. Okay. Well, what?
1157
00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:09,762
Okay, come on. Put... put the
gun down. Put the gun down.
1158
00:58:09,865 --> 00:58:11,349
I'm trying to do a show here.
1159
00:58:11,453 --> 00:58:13,869
Can you get back in my
psyche please? Thank you.
1160
00:58:13,973 --> 00:58:17,701
Anyway, my therapist said to
me, "Max, you're an adult now.
1161
00:58:17,804 --> 00:58:20,600
You don't need your inner child.
He can't help you anymore."
1162
00:58:20,704 --> 00:58:22,326
I said, "Oh, yeah, really, Mark?
1163
00:58:22,429 --> 00:58:23,914
He's got a gun. What do you got?
1164
00:58:24,017 --> 00:58:26,433
I'm taking this little sociopath
with me everywhere I go."
1165
00:58:26,537 --> 00:58:28,332
Thank you, Lansing!
1166
00:58:28,435 --> 00:58:30,403
Great audience.
Have a great night!
1167
00:58:33,924 --> 00:58:37,444
Come on, everybody, let's
hear it for Max Bernal!
1168
00:58:37,790 --> 00:58:39,723
Let's have a, um, whiskey neat
1169
00:58:39,826 --> 00:58:41,863
and another pineapple
juice for my manager here.
1170
00:58:41,966 --> 00:58:43,692
Pineapple juice coming right up.
1171
00:58:43,796 --> 00:58:45,556
You really should
get the boy home.
1172
00:58:45,660 --> 00:58:46,971
- Okay.
- He's your son, right?
1173
00:58:47,075 --> 00:58:49,111
Uh, yeah. That's...
uh, that's my son.
1174
00:58:49,215 --> 00:58:51,251
It's after 12:00.
I was watching him.
1175
00:58:51,355 --> 00:58:52,908
He doesn't seem happy here.
1176
00:58:53,046 --> 00:58:56,187
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. You
were watching him during my set?
1177
00:58:56,291 --> 00:58:58,200
- And now I'm offended. I got this, Ez.
- No, Dad, Dad...
1178
00:58:58,224 --> 00:58:59,995
- I got it.
- No child should be in this club.
1179
00:59:00,019 --> 00:59:02,159
Especially not a
child with issues.
1180
00:59:02,262 --> 00:59:03,263
- Issues?
- Yeah.
1181
00:59:03,505 --> 00:59:05,276
- I can't hear.
- Really? Let me ask you something.
1182
00:59:05,300 --> 00:59:07,485
Do I come to where you work and
knock the cock outta your mouth?
1183
00:59:07,509 --> 00:59:08,545
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1184
00:59:08,648 --> 00:59:09,994
- That's my wife.
- Oh, really?
1185
00:59:10,477 --> 00:59:12,283
I'm sorry to hear that, but she
should mind her own fucking business.
1186
00:59:12,307 --> 00:59:13,377
Hey, hey, hey!
1187
00:59:18,278 --> 00:59:19,694
Dad!
1188
00:59:21,316 --> 00:59:22,420
Come on, Ezra!
1189
00:59:28,116 --> 00:59:31,947
- They were the owners.
- Like I said, Ez, I didn't know.
1190
00:59:32,569 --> 00:59:35,468
- They were the owners.
- We covered this already, okay?
1191
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:37,090
That's enough now.
1192
00:59:37,815 --> 00:59:41,094
- I wanna go home.
- Hey, buddy, I'm sorry, okay?
1193
00:59:41,198 --> 00:59:42,717
- I want to go home!
- It was my bad.
1194
00:59:42,820 --> 00:59:44,719
Okay, listen to me, Ezzie, okay?
1195
00:59:45,202 --> 00:59:48,170
Sometimes life's
gonna get messy, okay?
1196
00:59:48,274 --> 00:59:51,967
And if it does, that's okay.
1197
00:59:52,071 --> 00:59:53,669
You know, people say
life's gotta be neat,
1198
00:59:53,693 --> 00:59:55,626
it's gotta be nice,
but it doesn't.
1199
00:59:57,007 --> 00:59:58,836
- You hear me?
- Yes.
1200
01:00:00,631 --> 01:00:01,908
Okay.
1201
01:00:03,392 --> 01:00:04,670
All right, that's good.
1202
01:00:06,637 --> 01:00:07,983
Go to sleep. That's...
1203
01:00:09,191 --> 01:00:10,399
that's a good idea.
1204
01:00:20,582 --> 01:00:22,619
I really appreciate this, Stan.
1205
01:00:28,521 --> 01:00:30,212
A mother's job is never done.
1206
01:00:31,248 --> 01:00:32,629
Or a father's.
1207
01:00:35,701 --> 01:00:37,772
I guess I don't
even know anymore.
1208
01:00:48,955 --> 01:00:50,785
Here. Turn here. Here.
1209
01:00:58,309 --> 01:01:00,726
There he is. There he is.
Get close. Look, look.
1210
01:01:00,829 --> 01:01:02,762
Okay. Okay.
1211
01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:06,145
Shit!
1212
01:01:06,248 --> 01:01:08,526
Look at your guilt on your face.
1213
01:01:08,630 --> 01:01:10,528
- What are you doing?
- What am I doing?
1214
01:01:10,632 --> 01:01:12,461
- Run, Zorba, run!
- Get off my property!
1215
01:01:12,565 --> 01:01:14,498
Yeah, run! Come on, run!
1216
01:01:14,601 --> 01:01:15,958
- Fuck you, Stan!
- Yeah, fuck you!
1217
01:01:15,982 --> 01:01:18,398
Come on, I told you, I
don't know where they went!
1218
01:01:18,502 --> 01:01:20,711
I thought you had
more sense, Nick.
1219
01:01:20,815 --> 01:01:23,058
Yeah, well, I thought
you had a heart, Jenna.
1220
01:01:23,162 --> 01:01:25,371
- Think about Ezra!
- My kid is out there!
1221
01:01:25,474 --> 01:01:26,579
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Where is he?
1222
01:01:26,786 --> 01:01:28,246
I'm gonna plunge this
into your heart right now
1223
01:01:28,270 --> 01:01:29,903
unless you tell me
exactly where they are!
1224
01:01:29,927 --> 01:01:31,032
Where are they?
1225
01:01:31,135 --> 01:01:33,068
They went to go do Kimmel in LA!
1226
01:01:35,864 --> 01:01:37,072
He got Kimmel?
1227
01:01:37,176 --> 01:01:37,935
Yeah.
1228
01:01:38,039 --> 01:01:39,350
I know. He booked Kimmel.
1229
01:01:40,558 --> 01:01:41,558
Can you believe it?
1230
01:01:41,628 --> 01:01:45,011
I mean, he's funny but...
1231
01:01:45,115 --> 01:01:47,496
Wait, please don't tell
Max that I ratted him out.
1232
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:49,498
I'm not strong.
1233
01:01:49,602 --> 01:01:50,465
- Ow!
- Stop whining!
1234
01:01:50,568 --> 01:01:52,018
God.
1235
01:01:52,122 --> 01:01:53,858
Meet me in the car. I've got
some unfinished business.
1236
01:01:53,882 --> 01:01:55,919
Please, please, don't
leave me alone with him.
1237
01:01:59,198 --> 01:02:02,442
Okay, I'm going to put this in
as loving a way as possible.
1238
01:02:03,271 --> 01:02:04,755
You need help!
1239
01:02:04,859 --> 01:02:06,757
Oh, hi, this is Jayne
Green's assistant.
1240
01:02:06,861 --> 01:02:10,416
I was wanting to confirm the date
and time for Max Bernal's appearance.
1241
01:02:12,936 --> 01:02:15,732
Yes, I, uh, accidentally
deleted an email.
1242
01:02:18,493 --> 01:02:20,702
Oh, great! Thank you so much.
1243
01:02:20,806 --> 01:02:22,428
Appreciate it. Take care.
1244
01:02:23,843 --> 01:02:24,982
Let's go.
1245
01:02:32,093 --> 01:02:33,508
I'm gonna get a coffee.
1246
01:02:33,611 --> 01:02:36,200
- Ooh, there's candy.
- Hey, you've had enough sugar.
1247
01:02:38,133 --> 01:02:39,573
Uh, can I have a
black coffee please?
1248
01:02:39,652 --> 01:02:41,033
- Sure thing.
- Thanks.
1249
01:02:43,587 --> 01:02:47,833
Hey, dude, where can I get a
local motel you can suggest?
1250
01:02:47,936 --> 01:02:49,869
Uh, yeah, you got the
Jersey plates, right?
1251
01:02:49,973 --> 01:02:51,181
- Uh-huh.
- '71 El Do?
1252
01:02:51,284 --> 01:02:52,458
- Yeah.
- Sweet.
1253
01:02:52,838 --> 01:02:55,806
Yeah. Hey, hey, sir, you... you
got a great... great eye for cars.
1254
01:02:55,910 --> 01:02:58,395
Ah, only sort of. Uh, my
grandma's got an El Do.
1255
01:02:58,498 --> 01:03:01,053
So, five exits, Best Western,
includes breakfast and biscuits.
1256
01:03:01,156 --> 01:03:02,916
- Oh. Great. Which way? That way?
- That way.
1257
01:03:02,951 --> 01:03:04,850
Hey, look, I'm on TV!
1258
01:03:05,436 --> 01:03:07,794
Yeah, look at that, buddy. Your
commercial's running everywhere.
1259
01:03:07,818 --> 01:03:09,061
- This should help.
- Yeah.
1260
01:03:09,164 --> 01:03:10,797
Child actor, we're on
our way to Hollywood
1261
01:03:10,821 --> 01:03:12,133
for a big screen test.
1262
01:03:12,236 --> 01:03:13,396
- Not true.
- Why don't you go
1263
01:03:13,444 --> 01:03:15,688
- wait for me in the car, yeah?
- Hey, wait!
1264
01:03:16,137 --> 01:03:18,795
Have I seen you in anything?
1265
01:03:18,898 --> 01:03:22,143
Sanford and Son.
It will be remade!
1266
01:03:23,938 --> 01:03:26,181
Hey, let me get your
autograph. Sign it "To Tim."
1267
01:03:26,285 --> 01:03:28,183
"You'll never catch
me alive, Tim!"
1268
01:03:40,747 --> 01:03:43,164
DUI Checkpoint. What the hell?
1269
01:03:56,142 --> 01:03:57,764
- Whoa!
- What's wrong?
1270
01:03:57,868 --> 01:03:59,490
Nothing! Go back
to sleep, buddy.
1271
01:03:59,594 --> 01:04:01,158
- Come on, it's late.
- What are you doing?
1272
01:04:01,182 --> 01:04:03,046
- Just taking a shortcut.
- To where?
1273
01:04:03,149 --> 01:04:05,945
- Best campsite in Nebraska.
- This isn't a shortcut!
1274
01:04:06,049 --> 01:04:07,429
- Yeah, it is!
- No, it's not!
1275
01:04:07,533 --> 01:04:09,949
I can see the road
right there... shit!
1276
01:04:10,053 --> 01:04:11,986
Fuck!
1277
01:04:12,089 --> 01:04:14,160
Ez? Ez, where are ya? You okay?
1278
01:04:14,264 --> 01:04:16,024
Ezzie?
1279
01:04:16,128 --> 01:04:17,612
I want to go home!
1280
01:04:17,715 --> 01:04:18,958
Ez.
1281
01:04:19,062 --> 01:04:22,928
Ez! Fuck! Fuck!
Hey, come on, buddy!
1282
01:04:25,206 --> 01:04:26,206
Okay.
1283
01:04:27,070 --> 01:04:28,347
Come on, where are you?
1284
01:04:29,141 --> 01:04:30,141
Ez?
1285
01:04:31,281 --> 01:04:32,281
Ezzie?
1286
01:04:35,388 --> 01:04:36,388
Fuck!
1287
01:04:39,427 --> 01:04:40,497
Ezzie!
1288
01:04:45,226 --> 01:04:46,399
Ezzie!
1289
01:04:56,754 --> 01:04:57,997
Ez!
1290
01:05:04,590 --> 01:05:05,867
Ezzie!
1291
01:05:16,015 --> 01:05:17,465
- Hey! Stop!
- No!
1292
01:05:17,568 --> 01:05:18,845
Stop!
1293
01:05:19,363 --> 01:05:21,365
- Hey! Hey! I said stop, okay?
- Ow!
1294
01:05:21,469 --> 01:05:23,609
Stop! I said stop!
1295
01:05:23,712 --> 01:05:25,576
I told you to stop!
1296
01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:27,199
What are you gonna do?
1297
01:05:27,716 --> 01:05:30,685
Hit me? You wanna hit
me? Come on, hit me!
1298
01:05:30,788 --> 01:05:32,135
No! I'm... I'm not, I'm not.
1299
01:05:32,238 --> 01:05:33,595
No, I just... you
scared me, buddy.
1300
01:05:33,619 --> 01:05:35,897
You freaked me out.
I'm sorry. Okay?
1301
01:05:36,001 --> 01:05:37,830
Why did you take me?
1302
01:05:38,244 --> 01:05:40,591
Why did you take me if you
don't know how to help me?
1303
01:05:40,695 --> 01:05:42,248
I don't know, buddy.
1304
01:05:42,352 --> 01:05:44,388
You're my superhero. I
just... you're everything.
1305
01:05:44,492 --> 01:05:46,149
You're my mojo.
1306
01:05:46,252 --> 01:05:48,806
I'm not your superhero!
1307
01:05:48,910 --> 01:05:51,050
I'm not your mojo!
I'm not your buddy!
1308
01:05:51,154 --> 01:05:53,466
I'm your son! And you're my dad!
1309
01:05:53,570 --> 01:05:56,711
My dad! My dad! My
dad! My dad! My dad!
1310
01:05:56,814 --> 01:05:59,196
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
1311
01:05:59,300 --> 01:06:01,164
- I hate you.
- It's okay.
1312
01:06:01,267 --> 01:06:04,132
I hate you.
1313
01:06:37,821 --> 01:06:39,616
- Hello?
- Pop?
1314
01:06:41,549 --> 01:06:42,549
Hello?
1315
01:06:42,619 --> 01:06:43,930
I almost hit my kid.
1316
01:06:44,034 --> 01:06:45,277
Wh... what happened?
1317
01:06:46,071 --> 01:06:47,210
What h... what happened?
1318
01:06:47,313 --> 01:06:48,970
- I... I almost...
- What?
1319
01:06:49,074 --> 01:06:50,661
I almost hit Ezra.
1320
01:06:51,007 --> 01:06:52,698
Where are you? Shit.
1321
01:06:52,801 --> 01:06:56,357
- I... I'm in the... I'm in the woods.
- Where, where, where?
1322
01:06:56,460 --> 01:06:58,180
The fucking woods. I
don't know where, okay?
1323
01:06:58,221 --> 01:07:01,258
I just... I almost
hit Ezra, and I...
1324
01:07:01,362 --> 01:07:02,787
I don't know where
to put all this, Pop.
1325
01:07:02,811 --> 01:07:05,435
I don't know where to put
all this fucking rage.
1326
01:07:05,849 --> 01:07:09,197
You don't put it anywhere.
You just... you bury it.
1327
01:07:09,577 --> 01:07:12,856
Yeah, okay. But I'm
asking you, what do I do?
1328
01:07:12,959 --> 01:07:14,075
You know what to
do! You can't...
1329
01:07:14,099 --> 01:07:15,524
I don't. I don't
know what to do, man.
1330
01:07:15,548 --> 01:07:17,378
I'm in a forest,
I'm losing my shit,
1331
01:07:17,481 --> 01:07:19,690
and I don't know what to
do, so I thought that maybe,
1332
01:07:19,794 --> 01:07:21,530
just maybe you might
just be like a normal dad
1333
01:07:21,554 --> 01:07:22,807
and give me some fucking advice!
1334
01:07:22,831 --> 01:07:24,292
Max, shut up. What
are you talking about?
1335
01:07:24,316 --> 01:07:25,836
I'm trying to talk
to you about it now.
1336
01:07:25,869 --> 01:07:26,949
And then you want some advice?
1337
01:07:26,973 --> 01:07:28,044
I'll give you some advice.
1338
01:07:28,147 --> 01:07:29,424
It's this simple.
1339
01:07:29,528 --> 01:07:31,599
Bite your arm off, tie
yourself to a tree,
1340
01:07:31,702 --> 01:07:34,153
do whatever you need to
do to not hit your kid.
1341
01:07:34,257 --> 01:07:36,052
It's that simple.
1342
01:07:37,329 --> 01:07:38,468
You understand?
1343
01:07:38,571 --> 01:07:40,332
Look what happened
with us. It killed me.
1344
01:07:40,435 --> 01:07:42,644
You cannot hit him.
You cannot hit him!
1345
01:07:44,922 --> 01:07:46,821
Okay, I... Yeah, I get it.
1346
01:07:47,511 --> 01:07:48,833
Are you sure you do?
Because if you did,
1347
01:07:48,857 --> 01:07:50,180
you'd know it's time
to throw in the towel
1348
01:07:50,204 --> 01:07:51,239
on this stupid trip.
1349
01:07:51,343 --> 01:07:53,034
- It's not a stupid trip.
- Yes, it is.
1350
01:07:53,138 --> 01:07:54,587
It's not, Pop. It's not stupid.
1351
01:07:54,691 --> 01:07:57,211
Yes, it is. It's stupid.
1352
01:07:57,314 --> 01:07:59,454
How are you gonna feel if
you end up back in jail?
1353
01:07:59,558 --> 01:08:00,558
Then what?
1354
01:08:03,182 --> 01:08:05,150
Where are you?
I'll come get you.
1355
01:08:10,569 --> 01:08:12,709
Fuck. Fuck.
1356
01:08:46,260 --> 01:08:47,916
You can't even say the word.
1357
01:08:48,020 --> 01:08:49,194
It's just a word.
1358
01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:51,265
Autism.
1359
01:08:53,370 --> 01:08:54,751
Yeah, whatever.
1360
01:08:56,925 --> 01:09:01,447
Saying it out loud, it'll
help Ezzie in his life.
1361
01:09:01,551 --> 01:09:05,417
Nah, you know, I don't...
I'm not sure about that.
1362
01:09:07,798 --> 01:09:10,560
We gotta be able to talk
about this and not...
1363
01:09:11,388 --> 01:09:13,055
Okay, tell me. What do
you want to talk about?
1364
01:09:13,079 --> 01:09:14,479
I don't want to be
hiding about it.
1365
01:09:14,529 --> 01:09:16,128
I want to talk about it.
I want to give it a name.
1366
01:09:16,152 --> 01:09:18,130
I want to get... I want to
get all the help we can get.
1367
01:09:18,154 --> 01:09:19,948
Who's hiding? Who's
hiding? Nobody's hiding.
1368
01:09:20,052 --> 01:09:22,641
Max is hiding him right now!
He took him, he's hiding him!
1369
01:09:22,744 --> 01:09:24,515
He's not hiding him, he's
taking him somewhere.
1370
01:09:24,539 --> 01:09:26,438
You think he's gonna
kill him? He's gonna...
1371
01:09:26,541 --> 01:09:28,578
I don't think... of
course I don't think that.
1372
01:09:28,681 --> 01:09:31,477
I don't think that,
but he scared me.
1373
01:09:31,581 --> 01:09:33,962
You know he's gonna take him
somewhere or do something.
1374
01:09:34,066 --> 01:09:36,551
But that doesn't mean he's
gonna do anything bad to him.
1375
01:09:36,655 --> 01:09:37,656
I don't know.
1376
01:09:37,759 --> 01:09:39,485
The fragility of Max
and his mental state,
1377
01:09:39,589 --> 01:09:42,557
and his situ... he's...
he flies off the handle.
1378
01:09:42,661 --> 01:09:44,697
He doesn't know how
to control Ezzie.
1379
01:09:44,801 --> 01:09:46,803
He doesn't know
everything that he needs.
1380
01:09:46,906 --> 01:09:49,426
No, he doesn't. But neither
do you. Nobody knows.
1381
01:09:49,530 --> 01:09:51,048
- I...
- It's what it is.
1382
01:09:51,152 --> 01:09:52,878
It's a condition
that just is there.
1383
01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:55,467
We have to deal with it.
1384
01:09:55,570 --> 01:09:57,158
And I know you...
I know you think
1385
01:09:57,262 --> 01:09:59,333
my side gave him what
you say he's got.
1386
01:09:59,436 --> 01:10:00,931
- I never said that.
- You didn't have to.
1387
01:10:00,955 --> 01:10:02,163
I never said that.
1388
01:10:02,577 --> 01:10:04,245
And my wife did the same thing.
I had the same fights with her.
1389
01:10:04,269 --> 01:10:06,523
- Do not compare me to his mother.
- I'm not comparing you, but...
1390
01:10:06,547 --> 01:10:07,787
Don't compare me to his mother.
1391
01:10:07,858 --> 01:10:10,033
I'm not comparing you,
but there is a similarity.
1392
01:10:10,136 --> 01:10:12,242
I'm sorry. It is what it is.
1393
01:10:12,346 --> 01:10:14,037
I devoted my life
to this family.
1394
01:10:14,140 --> 01:10:17,868
I'm devoting my life to this
family. That woman abandoned him.
1395
01:10:18,938 --> 01:10:21,527
I don't even know what happened
because you don't talk about it,
1396
01:10:21,631 --> 01:10:24,323
and Max doesn't talk about it,
so nobody talks about anything.
1397
01:10:24,427 --> 01:10:26,567
But... but what she
did was unforgivable.
1398
01:10:27,395 --> 01:10:28,672
Don't compare me to her.
1399
01:10:30,087 --> 01:10:31,261
How dare you.
1400
01:10:31,365 --> 01:10:33,781
It was a...
1401
01:10:33,884 --> 01:10:36,784
it was a long time ago,
so it's all over with now.
1402
01:10:45,724 --> 01:10:47,864
I can't believe you
grew up around here.
1403
01:10:47,967 --> 01:10:49,279
Yeah, I know, right?
1404
01:10:49,693 --> 01:10:51,281
Pop-Pop met my
mother in New York,
1405
01:10:51,385 --> 01:10:53,456
and then, well, we
all moved to Nebraska.
1406
01:10:53,559 --> 01:10:54,802
Why did your mother leave?
1407
01:10:58,702 --> 01:11:01,429
Uh, you know, it's funny, buddy.
1408
01:11:01,533 --> 01:11:03,259
I... I don't really know.
1409
01:11:03,362 --> 01:11:04,398
That's not funny.
1410
01:11:05,744 --> 01:11:07,332
You're right. It's not funny.
1411
01:11:10,024 --> 01:11:12,751
You know, I just... I woke up
one morning, and she was gone.
1412
01:11:14,891 --> 01:11:17,100
And I guess, uh,
1413
01:11:17,203 --> 01:11:18,515
I guess after so many years,
1414
01:11:18,619 --> 01:11:20,103
I just worked it out for myself
1415
01:11:20,206 --> 01:11:22,692
that she must have
been pretty sad
1416
01:11:24,176 --> 01:11:25,695
to do something
like that, right?
1417
01:11:26,661 --> 01:11:29,077
She was a terrible mother.
1418
01:11:32,426 --> 01:11:33,703
You're right. She was.
1419
01:11:36,326 --> 01:11:37,362
She was.
1420
01:11:40,951 --> 01:11:43,160
All right, come on. Let's go.
1421
01:11:43,264 --> 01:11:44,507
Hey, folks, thank you again.
1422
01:11:44,610 --> 01:11:47,130
- Thank you so much.
- Bye. Be safe now.
1423
01:11:47,233 --> 01:11:48,614
What a nice couple.
1424
01:11:49,201 --> 01:11:52,480
I bet... I bet they've been
together since they were your age.
1425
01:11:52,584 --> 01:11:56,070
- I'm going to die a virgin.
- What? No, that's bullshit.
1426
01:11:56,553 --> 01:12:00,005
Someone out there
who loves dinosaurs,
1427
01:12:00,108 --> 01:12:02,318
Dostoevsky and Family Guy.
1428
01:12:02,421 --> 01:12:04,803
- You watch.
- And live action D&D.
1429
01:12:04,906 --> 01:12:08,185
And live action D&D. There you
go. You know what you want.
1430
01:12:08,841 --> 01:12:11,775
What are we doing here?
1431
01:12:11,879 --> 01:12:15,986
The lady who lives here is
an old friend of your dad's.
1432
01:12:16,815 --> 01:12:19,196
This place looks like a demon
movie waiting to happen.
1433
01:12:19,300 --> 01:12:21,820
Let's hope not, huh?
1434
01:12:21,923 --> 01:12:24,547
Ah!
1435
01:12:28,689 --> 01:12:30,415
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, hey!
1436
01:12:30,518 --> 01:12:32,727
- Hi.
- What...
1437
01:12:32,831 --> 01:12:35,281
- Hi.
- Oh, no!
1438
01:12:35,385 --> 01:12:36,904
- Hi!
- Hi, Grace. Hi!
1439
01:12:37,007 --> 01:12:38,077
What are you doing here?
1440
01:12:38,181 --> 01:12:40,148
That's a... that's a long story.
1441
01:12:40,252 --> 01:12:43,738
Um, Grace, this is Ezra.
1442
01:12:46,258 --> 01:12:48,053
Nice to meet you, Ezra.
1443
01:12:48,156 --> 01:12:49,503
Heard a lot about you.
1444
01:12:50,780 --> 01:12:52,816
- I've never heard about you.
- Yeah.
1445
01:12:52,920 --> 01:12:54,680
- Who's here, Mom?
- Oh, wow.
1446
01:12:54,784 --> 01:12:57,234
- You're...
- This is my Ruby.
1447
01:12:57,338 --> 01:12:59,029
Way different from
your baby picture.
1448
01:12:59,133 --> 01:13:00,133
I hope so.
1449
01:13:00,168 --> 01:13:02,170
- Hi.
- This is an old friend, Max.
1450
01:13:02,274 --> 01:13:03,655
And his son Ezra.
1451
01:13:04,656 --> 01:13:05,898
Hi.
1452
01:13:06,002 --> 01:13:08,038
Do you wanna come play
with Harper and me?
1453
01:13:12,284 --> 01:13:13,768
Come on! Harper!
1454
01:13:15,287 --> 01:13:17,289
- This is a surprise.
- Yeah, I know.
1455
01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:20,810
- Mm.
- You think we can go inside?
1456
01:13:20,913 --> 01:13:23,399
I'm kind of a
fugitive from the law.
1457
01:13:23,502 --> 01:13:24,986
- What the hell?
- I'm not joking.
1458
01:13:25,918 --> 01:13:26,919
Come on!
1459
01:13:32,994 --> 01:13:34,030
Harper!
1460
01:13:37,896 --> 01:13:38,896
Does...
1461
01:13:39,932 --> 01:13:42,279
does Harper always follow you?
1462
01:13:42,383 --> 01:13:43,488
All the time.
1463
01:13:43,591 --> 01:13:45,351
Lucky dog.
1464
01:13:45,662 --> 01:13:48,838
Get off of me!
1465
01:13:48,941 --> 01:13:52,358
Ridgeway has tried to
push me into Jack's pond.
1466
01:13:52,462 --> 01:13:54,395
- You loved it!
- You wish!
1467
01:13:54,499 --> 01:13:57,640
- You moving on my girl, man?
- Uh, I'm not his girl.
1468
01:13:59,262 --> 01:14:00,643
Introduce us, Rubes.
1469
01:14:00,746 --> 01:14:03,922
- Ezra, Ridgeway and Cally.
- Where are you from?
1470
01:14:06,303 --> 01:14:07,788
He's from back east.
1471
01:14:08,202 --> 01:14:09,686
Wow, look at him go.
1472
01:14:09,790 --> 01:14:12,793
Please don't be a dick.
1473
01:14:12,896 --> 01:14:15,865
"No one cared who I was
until I put on the mask."
1474
01:14:15,968 --> 01:14:18,833
That was pretty random, freak.
1475
01:14:18,937 --> 01:14:21,698
"Who is Bane? Why does
he wear the mask?"
1476
01:14:21,802 --> 01:14:23,148
Dark Knight is my obsession.
1477
01:14:25,219 --> 01:14:26,219
Let's go.
1478
01:14:28,118 --> 01:14:29,257
So tell me again.
1479
01:14:29,361 --> 01:14:31,674
Oh, I just ran out of patience.
1480
01:14:31,777 --> 01:14:33,158
Which happens to all parents.
1481
01:14:33,261 --> 01:14:35,574
Yeah, but what I was seeing...
1482
01:14:35,678 --> 01:14:36,713
He wasn't safe.
1483
01:14:38,370 --> 01:14:39,475
And now he is?
1484
01:14:43,202 --> 01:14:44,549
Appears safe to me.
1485
01:14:47,379 --> 01:14:50,831
- Ugh... I don't know, Max.
- What?
1486
01:14:50,934 --> 01:14:52,246
Why don't you let me call Jenna?
1487
01:14:52,349 --> 01:14:54,269
No, no, no, no. Look, I
already called her, okay?
1488
01:14:54,351 --> 01:14:55,525
She knows he's okay.
1489
01:14:57,976 --> 01:14:58,976
Okay.
1490
01:14:59,529 --> 01:15:00,703
Yeah.
1491
01:15:01,117 --> 01:15:03,706
I'm not gonna fight
you on it, all right?
1492
01:15:03,809 --> 01:15:06,329
So eat your sandwich, wash up,
1493
01:15:06,432 --> 01:15:08,055
and hitchhike off to LA.
1494
01:15:09,574 --> 01:15:12,715
Look, I know this all
seems insane, but...
1495
01:15:12,818 --> 01:15:14,751
- Yeah.
- I didn't know where else to go.
1496
01:15:14,855 --> 01:15:15,925
So...
1497
01:15:17,167 --> 01:15:19,238
So let me help you.
1498
01:15:19,342 --> 01:15:22,587
I can't... I got... I
gotta finish this, Grace.
1499
01:15:22,690 --> 01:15:25,521
I do, you know. That kid is...
1500
01:15:26,176 --> 01:15:27,937
is the one thing that
I can't get wrong.
1501
01:15:28,040 --> 01:15:29,732
That's right. That's
right, you can't.
1502
01:15:29,835 --> 01:15:31,527
- Because he's perfect.
- No.
1503
01:15:31,906 --> 01:15:33,701
He's not, Grace.
He's not perfect.
1504
01:15:33,805 --> 01:15:36,083
And everybody's
trying to make him be
1505
01:15:36,186 --> 01:15:37,325
just like everybody else.
1506
01:15:37,429 --> 01:15:39,465
Me included, right?
1507
01:15:39,569 --> 01:15:41,709
And then one day he
might magically wake up
1508
01:15:41,813 --> 01:15:45,023
and become the
coolest, most amped up
1509
01:15:45,126 --> 01:15:49,199
and normal kid that's ever
walked the face of the earth.
1510
01:15:49,303 --> 01:15:50,787
And that is not gonna happen.
1511
01:15:52,444 --> 01:15:53,444
It's not.
1512
01:16:00,210 --> 01:16:01,570
It's not. It's
never gonna happen.
1513
01:16:01,626 --> 01:16:02,666
So, I have to protect him,
1514
01:16:02,765 --> 01:16:04,974
you know, and if I
can't protect him,
1515
01:16:05,077 --> 01:16:06,700
well, then, he's
not gonna make it.
1516
01:16:06,803 --> 01:16:08,253
And I...
1517
01:16:20,506 --> 01:16:22,923
Do you want caramel or fudge?
1518
01:16:24,062 --> 01:16:25,132
Both.
1519
01:16:25,235 --> 01:16:26,996
You're so bad.
1520
01:16:27,721 --> 01:16:29,861
Oh, my God! You have
to try this, Ezra!
1521
01:16:31,241 --> 01:16:33,140
Come on. I won't take
no for an answer.
1522
01:16:34,313 --> 01:16:35,625
Uh-uh.
1523
01:16:38,352 --> 01:16:39,353
You won't regret it.
1524
01:16:43,426 --> 01:16:45,117
♪ Torn down
1525
01:16:45,221 --> 01:16:46,118
How good is that?
1526
01:16:46,222 --> 01:16:48,327
♪ Full of aching
1527
01:16:48,431 --> 01:16:49,605
♪ Somehow
1528
01:16:49,708 --> 01:16:50,882
You okay?
1529
01:16:50,985 --> 01:16:53,436
♪ Our youth would
take the blame ♪
1530
01:16:53,539 --> 01:16:54,713
♪ Worn out
1531
01:16:54,817 --> 01:16:56,473
Yeah, I mean, nobody uses it.
1532
01:16:56,577 --> 01:16:58,717
Oh, my God.
1533
01:17:00,374 --> 01:17:02,134
- Here she is!
- Oh!
1534
01:17:02,238 --> 01:17:03,238
I gotta lay hands on her.
1535
01:17:03,308 --> 01:17:04,930
Oh, I'm getting the vibes.
1536
01:17:05,034 --> 01:17:06,552
We did everything
in this bucket.
1537
01:17:06,656 --> 01:17:08,727
You know what?
1538
01:17:08,831 --> 01:17:10,073
If she starts, take her.
1539
01:17:11,212 --> 01:17:12,489
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
1540
01:17:12,593 --> 01:17:14,215
Okay. Thank you.
1541
01:17:14,664 --> 01:17:17,771
I'll... I'll get it back to you
just as soon all this blows over.
1542
01:17:17,874 --> 01:17:19,635
It's okay. It's
gonna be fine, Max.
1543
01:17:20,566 --> 01:17:21,706
It's gonna be fine.
1544
01:17:22,051 --> 01:17:24,122
You just need to
stop biting the dog.
1545
01:17:25,261 --> 01:17:26,469
♪ Climb down
1546
01:17:26,572 --> 01:17:28,678
- What... what do you mean?
- Sixth grade.
1547
01:17:28,782 --> 01:17:31,854
A dog was coming toward
us, and you bit the dog.
1548
01:17:31,957 --> 01:17:32,786
Oh!
1549
01:17:32,889 --> 01:17:34,477
- Yeah, well...
- You bit it.
1550
01:17:34,580 --> 01:17:36,237
I was... I was trying
to protect you.
1551
01:17:36,341 --> 01:17:38,274
- Oh, right. Come on!
- I was protecting you.
1552
01:17:38,377 --> 01:17:41,553
Come on! I mean, the dog wasn't
even gonna bite me or you.
1553
01:17:41,657 --> 01:17:44,556
The poor thing ran off with
its tail between its legs.
1554
01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:46,075
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1555
01:17:48,491 --> 01:17:51,218
Listen, not everyone is
trying to bite you, Max.
1556
01:17:54,635 --> 01:17:56,326
♪ Hallowed
1557
01:17:56,706 --> 01:17:58,052
You want to feed him?
1558
01:17:59,709 --> 01:18:01,228
Have you ever ridden one before?
1559
01:18:03,817 --> 01:18:05,370
How would you feel
if you left here
1560
01:18:05,473 --> 01:18:07,821
and didn't even pet one
of these gorgeous animals?
1561
01:18:07,924 --> 01:18:09,167
Like a loser.
1562
01:18:10,099 --> 01:18:11,169
Okay.
1563
01:18:11,272 --> 01:18:13,930
So, let's start with
how to greet a horse.
1564
01:18:14,517 --> 01:18:17,554
You approach a horse from
the side so he can see you.
1565
01:18:18,003 --> 01:18:20,868
Then you pat him right here
on the side of his face.
1566
01:18:21,420 --> 01:18:25,390
Then you say in the nicest
way, "Hello, Bosco."
1567
01:18:29,739 --> 01:18:31,189
Hello, pasture king.
1568
01:18:34,779 --> 01:18:36,884
I bet he likes pastures.
1569
01:18:36,988 --> 01:18:38,506
And he likes you.
1570
01:18:38,610 --> 01:18:39,611
You can tell?
1571
01:18:39,715 --> 01:18:40,854
You bet.
1572
01:18:42,131 --> 01:18:43,684
Just look him in the eye.
1573
01:18:44,547 --> 01:18:47,550
Looking a horse in the eye
is like sharing your soul.
1574
01:18:56,145 --> 01:18:57,836
You just made a friend for life.
1575
01:18:57,940 --> 01:19:03,635
♪ I will carry you always
1576
01:19:03,739 --> 01:19:06,155
Uh, Mom, Tom's at the door.
1577
01:19:07,328 --> 01:19:09,365
- Ooh!
- Who's Tom?
1578
01:19:09,468 --> 01:19:11,712
- All right, uh, Max, keys are in the car.
- Okay.
1579
01:19:11,816 --> 01:19:13,818
Cally, Ridgeway, show
him the horse trail.
1580
01:19:13,921 --> 01:19:15,681
- Ruby, take Ezra, go get his bags.
- Okay.
1581
01:19:15,785 --> 01:19:17,787
Go. Go! Go!
1582
01:19:17,891 --> 01:19:19,411
Okay, don't forget
your dinosaur, okay?
1583
01:19:19,478 --> 01:19:20,928
- Go, go.
- Hey.
1584
01:19:22,309 --> 01:19:23,309
I'm sorry.
1585
01:19:25,070 --> 01:19:26,485
That's okay.
1586
01:19:40,568 --> 01:19:43,882
- Hey, Tom, what's up?
- Sorry to bother you, Grace.
1587
01:19:43,986 --> 01:19:45,056
I got a couple swear
1588
01:19:45,159 --> 01:19:46,439
they gave a father
and kid a ride
1589
01:19:46,471 --> 01:19:47,610
and dropped them off here.
1590
01:19:47,713 --> 01:19:49,992
Seems the father kidnapped
the kid from New Jersey.
1591
01:19:50,095 --> 01:19:52,615
That's horrible. What can I do?
1592
01:19:53,133 --> 01:19:54,938
I'm sorry. Would you mind
if I had a look around?
1593
01:19:54,962 --> 01:19:57,793
- This woman's really upset.
- No, not at all. Come on in, Tom.
1594
01:19:57,896 --> 01:19:59,587
- Yeah.
- Thanks. It'll just be a minute.
1595
01:20:04,903 --> 01:20:07,181
- Hey! Don't flood it!
- Okay.
1596
01:20:11,703 --> 01:20:13,291
I guess this is it.
1597
01:20:29,583 --> 01:20:31,481
All right, you two, get a room!
1598
01:20:33,690 --> 01:20:38,212
"I don't mean to be rude, but
that was not as easy as it looked,
1599
01:20:38,316 --> 01:20:41,353
so I would appreciate it if
you wouldn't distract me."
1600
01:20:41,767 --> 01:20:42,941
The Princess Bride.
1601
01:20:44,046 --> 01:20:45,185
Kid's a genius.
1602
01:21:00,027 --> 01:21:01,166
Can we get a horse?
1603
01:21:03,479 --> 01:21:04,549
Dude, we live in Hoboken.
1604
01:21:07,103 --> 01:21:08,587
Yeah. That's what I thought.
1605
01:21:10,693 --> 01:21:14,283
Hey, Ez, you understand why
I'm doing this, don't you?
1606
01:21:14,386 --> 01:21:16,561
Of course, you want
to be on Jimmy Kimmel.
1607
01:21:16,664 --> 01:21:17,664
Any father would.
1608
01:21:17,734 --> 01:21:19,909
No, no. That's not it.
1609
01:21:20,565 --> 01:21:24,258
I mean, s-sure, but
it's more than that.
1610
01:21:24,362 --> 01:21:26,778
You know, um...
1611
01:21:26,882 --> 01:21:29,298
you know how Pop-Pop
gave up being a chef
1612
01:21:29,401 --> 01:21:32,266
and then he took that
job as a doorman?
1613
01:21:32,922 --> 01:21:34,648
Well, he did that for me.
1614
01:21:37,168 --> 01:21:38,790
That makes no sense.
1615
01:21:39,342 --> 01:21:43,346
Well, that makes perfect
sense, actually, buddy.
1616
01:21:43,933 --> 01:21:45,038
Because...
1617
01:21:46,418 --> 01:21:49,697
because, you know, a dad's job
1618
01:21:49,801 --> 01:21:52,321
is to take his son
down the field.
1619
01:21:52,838 --> 01:21:55,496
- What field?
- Any field, you know?
1620
01:21:55,600 --> 01:21:56,601
Football field.
1621
01:21:56,704 --> 01:21:58,361
Football causes brain injuries.
1622
01:21:58,465 --> 01:22:01,917
Okay, that's true, but in this
case, it's a metaphor, right?
1623
01:22:02,020 --> 01:22:06,162
- Right.
- So... so a dad's gotta...
1624
01:22:06,266 --> 01:22:07,957
he's gotta go down
that field, right?
1625
01:22:08,061 --> 01:22:11,167
And... and if he gets
tackled before he scores...
1626
01:22:11,271 --> 01:22:14,032
- Game over.
- Except that it's not.
1627
01:22:14,136 --> 01:22:15,896
'Cause all that
dad wants, right,
1628
01:22:16,000 --> 01:22:21,315
is... is for that kid to pick up
the ball where his dad got tackled
1629
01:22:21,419 --> 01:22:23,041
and to take it the
rest of the way.
1630
01:22:23,145 --> 01:22:24,456
- Touchdown!
- Exactly.
1631
01:22:24,560 --> 01:22:26,700
He's gotta keep going
until he scores.
1632
01:22:30,773 --> 01:22:31,773
Anyway...
1633
01:22:34,432 --> 01:22:36,054
that's why I'm going to Kimmel.
1634
01:22:42,750 --> 01:22:43,751
You're a good dad.
1635
01:23:24,344 --> 01:23:28,555
You want some coffee?
1636
01:23:28,658 --> 01:23:29,763
Yeah. Love some.
1637
01:23:31,558 --> 01:23:33,639
Why don't you get a table in
the House of Pies over there.
1638
01:23:33,663 --> 01:23:36,459
I'll meet you right there.
I just wanna fill it up.
1639
01:23:36,735 --> 01:23:38,392
I'll see you inside.
1640
01:23:38,496 --> 01:23:39,566
See you inside.
1641
01:23:39,911 --> 01:23:40,946
What do you wanna drink?
1642
01:23:41,050 --> 01:23:42,741
"Life's a sport, drink it up."
1643
01:23:42,845 --> 01:23:44,226
Okay. What's that code for?
1644
01:23:44,329 --> 01:23:46,607
"Looks like we've got another
mystery on our hands."
1645
01:23:46,711 --> 01:23:50,128
I love the quotes, okay, but
not for every situation, right?
1646
01:23:50,232 --> 01:23:52,510
This nice lady's
got her work to do.
1647
01:23:52,613 --> 01:23:54,029
Iced tea, please.
1648
01:23:55,858 --> 01:23:57,066
My man, Ezra.
1649
01:23:57,170 --> 01:23:59,965
Dropping quotes and
flying without a net
1650
01:24:00,069 --> 01:24:02,520
so that he could
order himself a...
1651
01:24:02,623 --> 01:24:04,073
"Iced tea, please."
1652
01:24:14,566 --> 01:24:17,638
- Where you going?
- Hey, what's going on?
1653
01:24:17,742 --> 01:24:18,950
My name's Ezra.
1654
01:24:19,054 --> 01:24:21,263
And I'm going to
tell you all a joke.
1655
01:24:22,471 --> 01:24:24,542
Where do horses go
when they're sick?
1656
01:24:25,888 --> 01:24:27,510
To the horsepital!
1657
01:24:30,651 --> 01:24:31,756
Yeah.
1658
01:24:31,859 --> 01:24:34,310
Thank you! You've been
a wonderful audience!
1659
01:24:36,001 --> 01:24:38,314
Wow. First original joke.
1660
01:24:38,418 --> 01:24:41,006
- I'm proud of you.
- New material is not easy.
1661
01:24:53,881 --> 01:24:57,230
Hey, buddy, I'm gonna go,
um, wash my hands, okay?
1662
01:24:57,333 --> 01:24:58,576
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
1663
01:24:58,679 --> 01:24:59,887
Okay.
1664
01:25:01,751 --> 01:25:02,751
To the horsepital.
1665
01:25:04,271 --> 01:25:05,271
To the horsepital.
1666
01:25:05,307 --> 01:25:06,549
What are you doing here?
1667
01:25:06,653 --> 01:25:08,009
Never mind that.
Listen, I need to...
1668
01:25:08,033 --> 01:25:09,494
- How did you find me?
- We don't have time for this.
1669
01:25:09,518 --> 01:25:11,012
How did you find me
all the way out here?
1670
01:25:11,036 --> 01:25:12,738
We were at the House of
Pies. I saw you over there.
1671
01:25:12,762 --> 01:25:14,833
- Who? We who?
- Me and Jenna. She's there.
1672
01:25:14,937 --> 01:25:16,697
- It's okay.
- Je... Okay.
1673
01:25:16,801 --> 01:25:19,010
Oh, Pop, you got some
balls. Listen to me.
1674
01:25:19,114 --> 01:25:20,574
- Will you shut up?
- No, you shut up.
1675
01:25:20,598 --> 01:25:21,978
I'm trying to tell
you something.
1676
01:25:22,082 --> 01:25:23,362
You go back to
the House of Pies,
1677
01:25:23,428 --> 01:25:24,705
and you never saw me.
1678
01:25:24,809 --> 01:25:26,442
Shut up. I'm trying
to tell you something.
1679
01:25:26,466 --> 01:25:27,812
I'm not here to stop you.
1680
01:25:31,747 --> 01:25:34,094
I'm here to apologize.
1681
01:25:34,198 --> 01:25:36,200
- For what?
- Well... Look.
1682
01:25:36,303 --> 01:25:38,547
I'm sorry.
1683
01:25:38,650 --> 01:25:42,171
I... you know, I...
that's all, I'm sorry.
1684
01:25:42,827 --> 01:25:45,174
What are you talking
about? What happened? What?
1685
01:25:46,313 --> 01:25:48,798
Your mother left, and...
1686
01:25:48,902 --> 01:25:51,456
and I loved her, but I... I
was impossible to live with,
1687
01:25:51,560 --> 01:25:53,572
and I never really told you
about any of that, and so, I...
1688
01:25:53,596 --> 01:25:55,219
- I'm sorry.
- What do you mean?
1689
01:25:55,322 --> 01:25:56,922
Mom left because I
was a pain in the ass.
1690
01:25:56,979 --> 01:25:59,164
- That's what you told me.
- No, I was the pain in the ass.
1691
01:25:59,188 --> 01:26:01,880
It was me. All I ever did was
fight. And every fight I ever had
1692
01:26:01,984 --> 01:26:03,720
was against someone I
thought had it in for me.
1693
01:26:03,744 --> 01:26:05,584
And those kinds of fights
you never really win.
1694
01:26:05,677 --> 01:26:09,302
You just go from one person to
another until there's nobody left.
1695
01:26:09,405 --> 01:26:13,168
And then when I wasn't
fighting, I was...
1696
01:26:13,271 --> 01:26:15,480
I was... I was
hiding... I was hiding
1697
01:26:15,584 --> 01:26:17,689
in restaurant
kitchens, boxing gyms.
1698
01:26:17,793 --> 01:26:21,245
I was... Now I'm hiding holding
doors open for strangers.
1699
01:26:21,348 --> 01:26:23,385
I'm... I'm... I just...
1700
01:26:26,353 --> 01:26:28,528
I hid because I didn't
know what else to do, I...
1701
01:26:29,874 --> 01:26:32,394
I didn't know how to do
what I see you doing.
1702
01:26:32,497 --> 01:26:33,257
What?
1703
01:26:33,360 --> 01:26:34,475
You're fighting for something
1704
01:26:34,499 --> 01:26:36,260
that means something.
1705
01:26:36,674 --> 01:26:39,504
Maybe it's too much, but you're
trying to do the right thing.
1706
01:26:39,608 --> 01:26:41,748
And you're in the fight
of your life for your son.
1707
01:26:41,851 --> 01:26:44,129
And if you get arrested,
you're gonna get arrested.
1708
01:26:44,233 --> 01:26:46,994
But as far as I'm concerned,
you're my heavyweight champion.
1709
01:26:48,927 --> 01:26:50,343
'Cause I had a problem.
1710
01:26:51,102 --> 01:26:53,794
I had a problem with your
mother, and I'll never forget.
1711
01:26:56,141 --> 01:26:57,798
I wish that I had
done what you did.
1712
01:26:59,559 --> 01:27:01,181
You might have to
suffer consequences,
1713
01:27:01,285 --> 01:27:04,598
but it's... it's worth it 'cause
you did it for the right reasons.
1714
01:27:04,702 --> 01:27:07,601
You did it because
you love your kid.
1715
01:27:08,844 --> 01:27:12,157
Taking him out of the bed in
the middle of the night...
1716
01:27:12,261 --> 01:27:13,883
- A felony.
- No, no, no.
1717
01:27:13,987 --> 01:27:15,402
Took a lot of courage.
1718
01:27:15,920 --> 01:27:18,416
Believe it or not, it might've been
the best thing you ever could've done.
1719
01:27:18,440 --> 01:27:22,167
And what you're always worried about,
not having a family, you gotta stop that.
1720
01:27:22,271 --> 01:27:25,205
And I'm here, and Ezzie's there,
1721
01:27:25,309 --> 01:27:27,587
and the woman in the
House of Pies, well,
1722
01:27:27,690 --> 01:27:29,140
it'll all be all right with her.
1723
01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:32,212
That'll all work itself out
eventually, but you gotta know
1724
01:27:32,316 --> 01:27:33,756
that you have a
family that loves you
1725
01:27:33,800 --> 01:27:35,698
and that needs you and
that cares about you.
1726
01:27:37,044 --> 01:27:38,598
- Now be careful.
- Okay.
1727
01:27:39,115 --> 01:27:40,531
- I gotta get back.
- Okay.
1728
01:27:42,257 --> 01:27:43,499
Okay.
1729
01:27:55,718 --> 01:27:58,065
All right, so you recognize
any of these names, buddy?
1730
01:27:58,169 --> 01:27:59,619
Yeah. Sidney Poitier.
1731
01:28:00,551 --> 01:28:03,174
"They call me Mr. Tibbs."
1732
01:28:03,278 --> 01:28:06,488
Of course. Stupid
question. My bad.
1733
01:28:06,591 --> 01:28:09,663
"Toto, I have a feeling
we're not in Kansas anymore."
1734
01:28:09,767 --> 01:28:11,872
- Dorothy is Liza Minelli's mom.
- Okay.
1735
01:28:11,976 --> 01:28:13,776
- And that's a fact.
- Pick up the pace, okay?
1736
01:28:13,874 --> 01:28:15,980
- Come on.
- "Crying?
1737
01:28:16,083 --> 01:28:18,741
There's no crying in baseball!"
1738
01:28:19,190 --> 01:28:21,641
Come on. Come on.
1739
01:28:23,643 --> 01:28:26,508
- Is Jimmy here?
- He might stop in to say hi.
1740
01:28:26,611 --> 01:28:28,164
Oh, good. My son's a big fan.
1741
01:28:28,268 --> 01:28:29,304
No, I'm not.
1742
01:28:31,029 --> 01:28:32,307
Park there.
1743
01:28:32,410 --> 01:28:34,274
- This is handicap.
- Yeah. Take the spot.
1744
01:28:34,378 --> 01:28:35,862
- It's handicap.
- Take that spot.
1745
01:28:38,727 --> 01:28:40,843
Do as much of your set as
you want for the soundcheck.
1746
01:28:40,867 --> 01:28:42,948
- How's the mojo today, good?
- Good till the last drop.
1747
01:28:42,972 --> 01:28:44,008
- Hey, Max.
- Yeah.
1748
01:28:44,111 --> 01:28:45,250
- See the box?
- Uh-huh.
1749
01:28:45,458 --> 01:28:46,745
Don't step outside the
box, don't look at Jimmy,
1750
01:28:46,769 --> 01:28:48,046
and do not go over your time.
1751
01:28:48,150 --> 01:28:49,289
- You good?
- Jesus. At ease.
1752
01:28:49,393 --> 01:28:50,818
- Batteries in this thing?
- I hope so.
1753
01:28:50,842 --> 01:28:52,913
- Ezra, I got a front row seat for you.
- Okay.
1754
01:28:53,017 --> 01:28:55,813
Check, check, check. Is that
mic down over there? That's it?
1755
01:28:55,916 --> 01:28:58,816
Great. Thanks. How's
everybody doing tonight?
1756
01:28:58,919 --> 01:29:01,370
Good? Hello? Ah.
1757
01:29:01,474 --> 01:29:03,648
I gotta stay in the box.
Gotta stay in the box.
1758
01:29:03,752 --> 01:29:04,787
Hi there.
1759
01:29:04,891 --> 01:29:07,376
Hi, did Max Bernal
arrive with a young boy?
1760
01:29:07,480 --> 01:29:08,929
Both very handsome.
1761
01:29:09,067 --> 01:29:11,553
Just have a way of looking at
things through a negative lens.
1762
01:29:11,656 --> 01:29:13,934
Which makes sense, you
know, I was a breach baby.
1763
01:29:14,038 --> 01:29:16,765
My dad says I came
out with a black eye.
1764
01:29:16,868 --> 01:29:18,812
He says I popped out, and
the first thing I said was,
1765
01:29:18,836 --> 01:29:20,562
"Who thought this
was a good idea?"
1766
01:29:20,665 --> 01:29:22,011
It's right through here.
1767
01:29:23,668 --> 01:29:24,921
My son came up to
me the other day,
1768
01:29:24,945 --> 01:29:26,947
he said, "Dad,
you're an awfulizer."
1769
01:29:27,051 --> 01:29:28,856
I said, "Honey, I don't
think "awfulizer" is a word."
1770
01:29:28,880 --> 01:29:30,399
- He says, "Yes, it is."
- Yeah!
1771
01:29:30,503 --> 01:29:31,780
There he is, my son.
1772
01:29:31,883 --> 01:29:33,482
I think he might be on
to something actually.
1773
01:29:33,506 --> 01:29:34,610
I think I am an awfulizer.
1774
01:29:34,714 --> 01:29:35,922
Because truth be told
1775
01:29:36,025 --> 01:29:38,027
I can take any
situation and just...
1776
01:29:38,131 --> 01:29:39,339
make it worse.
1777
01:29:39,443 --> 01:29:41,859
Mr. Bernal. I'm
Special Agent Costa.
1778
01:29:41,962 --> 01:29:44,758
FBI. We're here to
take you into custody.
1779
01:29:46,277 --> 01:29:48,037
Okay. I... I can't believe this.
1780
01:29:48,141 --> 01:29:50,246
- Can you not do this in front of my kid?
- Hi, Ezra.
1781
01:29:50,350 --> 01:29:51,558
I'm Jessica.
1782
01:29:51,662 --> 01:29:53,191
We're going to take a
little walk, all right?
1783
01:29:53,215 --> 01:29:55,666
I've travelled all the way
across the country with my son.
1784
01:29:55,769 --> 01:29:57,569
I understand that you
came across the country.
1785
01:29:59,255 --> 01:30:00,774
Ezzie, it's fine. It's fine.
1786
01:30:00,878 --> 01:30:03,536
- Let's go get some ice cream.
- Ezzie.
1787
01:30:03,639 --> 01:30:05,410
Your daddy just needs to
talk to my friend Joe.
1788
01:30:05,434 --> 01:30:07,367
Everything's fine,
Ezra, okay? My...
1789
01:30:07,471 --> 01:30:09,645
Don't touch my kid!
1790
01:30:09,749 --> 01:30:11,796
- Don't touch my son!
- He doesn't like to be touched!
1791
01:30:11,820 --> 01:30:13,442
- Don't touch him!
- It's okay, Ezzie.
1792
01:30:14,685 --> 01:30:15,938
It's okay. It's
okay. Look, I know.
1793
01:30:15,962 --> 01:30:17,526
I called you myself,
and I made a mistake.
1794
01:30:17,550 --> 01:30:19,690
It's okay, Ezzie. It's
okay. We're all here.
1795
01:30:19,793 --> 01:30:21,554
It's okay. It's okay, Ezzie.
1796
01:30:21,657 --> 01:30:23,394
- Ma'am, I need you to back off.
- I need you to back off!
1797
01:30:23,418 --> 01:30:24,798
This is my son. Hi!
1798
01:30:24,902 --> 01:30:28,043
Hey, baby. Ezzie.
Hey, buddy. You okay?
1799
01:30:28,146 --> 01:30:30,286
Hi. Hi.
1800
01:30:30,597 --> 01:30:33,738
Ezzie, I missed you.
1801
01:30:34,739 --> 01:30:37,570
Ez? You okay, buddy?
1802
01:30:37,673 --> 01:30:40,124
Did you have a good
time? How was the trip?
1803
01:30:43,368 --> 01:30:46,061
- I talked to a horse.
- What?
1804
01:30:46,164 --> 01:30:47,994
That's amazing.
1805
01:30:48,097 --> 01:30:49,513
I wish I'd been there.
1806
01:31:03,181 --> 01:31:06,530
I'm sorry, ma'am, but we still
need to arrest Mr. Bernal.
1807
01:31:06,633 --> 01:31:08,635
I'm the one who called
you. I made a mistake.
1808
01:31:08,739 --> 01:31:11,327
As you can see, my
son is fine, so...
1809
01:31:11,431 --> 01:31:13,478
- We don't have a choice, ma'am.
- You do have a choice.
1810
01:31:13,502 --> 01:31:16,540
I am his mother, this is his
father, this is his grandfather.
1811
01:31:17,023 --> 01:31:20,958
We are a family, and we are
taking him home together.
1812
01:31:21,061 --> 01:31:23,995
So thank you very much. There's
no need for any of this anymore.
1813
01:31:24,099 --> 01:31:26,791
- Okay, everybody just stay calm.
- Hey, man. It's okay.
1814
01:31:26,895 --> 01:31:28,495
- You need to calm down.
- No, I am calm.
1815
01:31:30,243 --> 01:31:31,831
Hey! He's not resisting!
1816
01:31:31,934 --> 01:31:34,050
I'm not resisting. She's not
pressing charges, right, Jenna?
1817
01:31:34,074 --> 01:31:36,214
- We're calling off the charges.
- Come on! Stop!
1818
01:31:36,318 --> 01:31:38,044
Dad!
1819
01:31:38,562 --> 01:31:40,874
Get off my dad!
1820
01:31:41,875 --> 01:31:43,532
- Get off!
- I gotta finish.
1821
01:31:43,636 --> 01:31:46,570
Dad, eyes. Dad! Dad! Eyes.
1822
01:31:46,673 --> 01:31:49,296
It's okay. It's okay.
1823
01:31:49,400 --> 01:31:50,400
You got tackled.
1824
01:31:52,265 --> 01:31:53,646
Give me the ball.
1825
01:32:09,454 --> 01:32:11,077
Calm down. It's okay.
1826
01:32:12,216 --> 01:32:13,216
Okay.
1827
01:32:35,066 --> 01:32:37,344
- Okay. Let's go!
- Coming.
1828
01:32:37,448 --> 01:32:40,416
Come on, come on, come on.
We're gonna be late! Come on!
1829
01:32:41,452 --> 01:32:43,672
Morning. I know you have to deal
with this house arrest stuff,
1830
01:32:43,696 --> 01:32:45,496
but would you mind picking
him up from school?
1831
01:32:45,525 --> 01:32:46,951
I have an inspection
I can't get out of.
1832
01:32:46,975 --> 01:32:49,356
Yeah. Sure. I just have
to tell my probation guy.
1833
01:32:49,460 --> 01:32:51,393
Okay. Hey, hey, hey.
1834
01:32:51,496 --> 01:32:53,740
Remember, just
don't talk too fast.
1835
01:32:53,844 --> 01:32:55,811
What you did last
night was brilliant.
1836
01:32:56,087 --> 01:33:00,609
"For Whom The Bell Tolls.
Today, it tolls for me."
1837
01:33:00,713 --> 01:33:02,922
That's gonna be a
good presentation.
1838
01:33:03,750 --> 01:33:05,486
- All right, bye-bye. Break a leg.
- Come on.
1839
01:33:05,510 --> 01:33:07,167
Let's go before
they lock us out.
1840
01:33:08,790 --> 01:33:10,446
- Want me to carry that?
- Sure.
1841
01:33:10,964 --> 01:33:13,657
You know, when
Hemingway was my age,
1842
01:33:13,760 --> 01:33:17,246
you know what his parents
got him for his birthday?
1843
01:33:17,350 --> 01:33:18,558
No, what?
1844
01:33:18,662 --> 01:33:21,665
His dad got him a shotgun,
1845
01:33:21,768 --> 01:33:24,115
and his mom, a violin.
1846
01:33:25,669 --> 01:33:28,568
- Hemingway played the violin?
- No.
1847
01:33:29,051 --> 01:33:31,295
Fifty years later, he
used that shotgun to...
1848
01:33:33,642 --> 01:33:34,712
Really?
1849
01:33:35,471 --> 01:33:36,576
Look it up.
1850
01:33:37,025 --> 01:33:38,751
Wow. I did not know that.
1851
01:33:38,854 --> 01:33:40,925
Well, guess who's
getting violin lessons.
1852
01:33:43,410 --> 01:33:46,034
Oh, buddy, I'm so happy you're
excited about this school, huh?
1853
01:33:46,137 --> 01:33:48,105
- Finally got it right.
- Yeah.
1854
01:33:48,208 --> 01:33:49,382
Mom was right.
1855
01:33:51,004 --> 01:33:52,937
Can't you cover that
thing with your sock?
1856
01:33:53,041 --> 01:33:55,181
What? I don't like the
way it feels on my skin.
1857
01:33:55,284 --> 01:33:57,493
- Texture thing, you know?
- It's blinking.
1858
01:33:57,597 --> 01:33:58,909
- Beep.
- Okay. You know what?
1859
01:33:59,012 --> 01:34:00,289
Are you gonna bring it in?
1860
01:34:01,428 --> 01:34:02,428
Fine.
1861
01:34:05,640 --> 01:34:06,986
You can go now.
1862
01:34:07,089 --> 01:34:08,089
Okay.
1863
01:34:16,202 --> 01:34:17,203
Have a good day.
1864
01:34:47,440 --> 01:34:50,201
Remember, the last time this
guy was here, he got arrested.
1865
01:34:50,305 --> 01:34:51,789
Oh, wow.
1866
01:34:51,893 --> 01:34:54,102
- Max?
- Jimmy?
1867
01:34:54,205 --> 01:34:56,276
- Hey, man. How you doing?
- Man, you look great.
1868
01:34:56,380 --> 01:34:58,278
Great to have you here.
This is Guillermo.
1869
01:34:58,382 --> 01:35:00,418
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Top security guy.
1870
01:35:00,522 --> 01:35:02,766
- How's your son doing?
- Ezzie's great, man, yeah.
1871
01:35:02,869 --> 01:35:05,261
He'd be here, but you know, I
can't take him out of the state.
1872
01:35:05,285 --> 01:35:08,047
Yeah, right. Guess not.
Yeah, I guess he can't.
1873
01:35:08,150 --> 01:35:11,775
So, I was telling him, remember
the last time Max was here,
1874
01:35:11,878 --> 01:35:14,743
he was almost on the
show, but he got arrested.
1875
01:35:14,847 --> 01:35:18,091
He, um, rescued his
son from school.
1876
01:35:18,195 --> 01:35:19,679
- Yeah?
- That's how I see it.
1877
01:35:19,783 --> 01:35:20,887
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1878
01:35:20,991 --> 01:35:23,027
But, uh, anyway, it's
great to have you here.
1879
01:35:23,131 --> 01:35:24,684
Sorry about that.
1880
01:35:24,788 --> 01:35:25,961
I forgot to tell you.
1881
01:35:26,410 --> 01:35:29,378
I gotta bring... I had to bring
my probation officer with me.
1882
01:35:30,828 --> 01:35:33,072
- This is your probation officer?
- Yeah.
1883
01:35:33,728 --> 01:35:35,074
Wow.
1884
01:35:35,177 --> 01:35:36,282
Yeah.
1885
01:35:36,385 --> 01:35:38,215
- He has to stay with you all the time?
- Yeah.
1886
01:35:38,318 --> 01:35:40,700
- He's very cute.
- Hey, man. What's up?
1887
01:35:40,804 --> 01:35:42,115
I'll be right here, all right?
1888
01:35:42,219 --> 01:35:44,359
At least he's a
good-looking guy.
1889
01:35:44,980 --> 01:35:46,500
- All right, well, break a leg.
- Okay.
1890
01:35:46,568 --> 01:35:49,157
- Glad you're finally here.
- Safety first.
1891
01:35:49,260 --> 01:35:50,660
- Yeah. Thanks.
- Yeah, that's true.
1892
01:35:50,710 --> 01:35:52,436
- I'll see you out there.
- Okay. See you.
1893
01:35:54,818 --> 01:35:57,752
♪ I remember that
shirt you had ♪
1894
01:35:57,855 --> 01:36:00,789
♪ Bought the same one
So we would match ♪
1895
01:36:00,893 --> 01:36:03,861
♪ Snuck into your
bedroom Window ♪
1896
01:36:03,965 --> 01:36:07,002
♪ Footprints let us go
1897
01:36:07,106 --> 01:36:10,178
♪ You wear a wig and glasses
1898
01:36:10,281 --> 01:36:13,422
♪ I smoke and hide the ashes
1899
01:36:13,526 --> 01:36:16,046
♪ I'll carry you downfield
1900
01:36:16,149 --> 01:36:19,601
♪ Code only yours to reveal
1901
01:36:19,704 --> 01:36:22,742
♪ So let yourself be Ezra
1902
01:36:22,846 --> 01:36:25,883
♪ We'll sing the
words To your song ♪
1903
01:36:25,987 --> 01:36:28,990
♪ So let yourself be Ezra
1904
01:36:29,093 --> 01:36:32,165
♪ You don't have to
right What's wrong ♪
1905
01:36:32,269 --> 01:36:35,341
♪ And in the morning
Can't you see ♪
1906
01:36:35,444 --> 01:36:38,309
♪ The sun is
coming up For you ♪
1907
01:36:38,413 --> 01:36:41,174
♪ Your timing's
never Too soon ♪
1908
01:36:41,278 --> 01:36:45,385
♪ Everybody needs a light
1909
01:36:57,156 --> 01:37:00,193
♪ We're dancing in the car
1910
01:37:00,297 --> 01:37:03,610
♪ We're fighting after dark
1911
01:37:03,714 --> 01:37:06,199
♪ But when the sun comes up
1912
01:37:06,303 --> 01:37:09,409
♪ I'm glad to be kids like us
1913
01:37:09,962 --> 01:37:12,896
♪ I hope you one
day You learn ♪
1914
01:37:12,999 --> 01:37:16,037
♪ I'm here to ease the burn
1915
01:37:16,140 --> 01:37:18,798
♪ Growing up never ends
1916
01:37:18,902 --> 01:37:21,628
♪ But we won't
break, We'll bend ♪
1917
01:37:22,215 --> 01:37:25,460
♪ So let yourself be Ezra ♪
1918
01:37:25,563 --> 01:37:28,670
♪ We'll sing the
words To your song ♪
1919
01:37:28,773 --> 01:37:31,846
♪ So let yourself be Ezra
1920
01:37:31,949 --> 01:37:35,021
♪ You don't have to
right What's wrong ♪
1921
01:37:35,125 --> 01:37:38,093
♪ And in the morning
Can't you see ♪
1922
01:37:38,197 --> 01:37:41,165
♪ The sun is
coming up For you ♪
1923
01:37:41,269 --> 01:37:43,961
♪ Your timing's
never Too soon ♪
1924
01:37:44,065 --> 01:37:47,551
♪ Everybody needs a light
1925
01:37:47,654 --> 01:37:50,450
♪ So let yourself be Ezra
1926
01:37:50,554 --> 01:37:53,868
♪ We'll sing the
words To your song ♪
1927
01:37:53,971 --> 01:37:56,560
♪ So let yourself be Ezra
1928
01:37:56,663 --> 01:38:00,046
♪ You don't have to
right What's wrong ♪
1929
01:38:00,150 --> 01:38:03,118
♪ And in the morning
Can't you see ♪
1930
01:38:03,222 --> 01:38:06,156
♪ The sun is
coming up For you ♪
1931
01:38:06,259 --> 01:38:08,986
♪ Your timing's
never Too soon ♪
1932
01:38:09,090 --> 01:38:12,507
♪ Everybody needs
1933
01:38:13,611 --> 01:38:16,511
♪ A light
146598
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