All language subtitles for s 12 e 5

This is

the last photo I have of

us as a family.

I try not to focus on photos I see of him

because

it brings so much sadness.

It makes me miss

all the fun times we have and I wish I

could go back in time and just enjoy one

of those amazing

memories. Sorry.

I'm sorry.

You'll probably think I'm crazy. He's all

I ever known. He's the only person that

made me feel safe and.

He's also the person that took away my

sense of safety as well.

So who am I supposed to go to to feel

safe now?OK,

sorry. I'm so sorry.

I don't have an angry bone in my body.

I'm not an aggressive person. How you

see me now is not always. I'm just laid

back. I didn't think Rob was

capable to come up with such a horrific

plan,

but my head was in the sand with him for

so many years. And I was convinced he

was a good guy. Tell us why.

Yeah, why?For reasons I didn't

do it.

My struggles that I had with my heart and

my head was that I was so

angry at Rod, but I also missed and

loved him so much. And I was like, what

is going on?You thought you could get

away with this.

I didn't

wish that I could have helped him. I

guess he was an amazing guy.

I know it seems weird that I'm crying

and trying to make excuses for his

behavior. When I know there

aren't any excuses. This is not who I am.

This did not happen. I did not do this.

This photo

is a picture of Rod and I when

we had just started dating. I believe I

was about 15 or

16 years old here.

Rodney was my first love. We went to

every prom together, every homecoming

together. We just did everything

together.

My father always said that he never had a

good feeling about him, but I saw Rod

differently than my dad did. He was just

amazing. I thought he was the whole

package. I just thought I was just so

lucky to have him and

just felt so on top of the world that he

chose me. I was in love. That's

the best way to describe it. We lived

with each other for a year and a half,

and then we got engaged.

We got married when I was 21.

This moment feels like it was forever

ago. I just...

was just a girl with a big dream that I

thought I was promised I was gonna get.

I try to look back on these memories and

not think about what he

did. As it turns

out, my dad's gut feeling about

Rod since the beginning was right.

Rod and I had been dating for a few

years, and I wasn't

aware of how wealthy his family was

until he inherited his great aunt

and uncle's

stock account. And he would day trade for

himself, so he would be at home a lot.

If something didn't go his way in the

stock market,He would throw a fit. No,

no, no, no And I would hear

random spurts of yelling or door

slamming or cursing coming from his

office. He would

slam the door so hard that it would

almost come off of the hinge. Rod?

Honey, talk to me. What's wrong?Get out!

As the frustration grew, he would put his

hands through the walls. He would pick up

items and throw them and just scream

random, horrible things.

It was really scary, because looking at

his eyes during these fits, he was

checked out.

His eyes were just blank and glazed over,

like nobody was home. Please, calm down.

Calm down. I asked if I could help,

and he turned around and just lashed out

at me that he is under pressure to provide

Such a big lifestyle. He would yell, just

get out. Just shut up and leave me

alone. And I

just turned around and walked out.

It did raise an eyebrow a little bit, but

I felt as though it was normal because

his parents do a lot of yelling.

So I was trying to look past it.

From then, I didn't go back into his

office when I heard him frustrated. I

just stayed away.

We were just in heaven when we found out

we were having twins. But

Rod started showing signs of

his feelings towards having kids being

an inconvenience.

When they wanted to sleep with us, he

never allowed it. He had

massive rules against playing with

glitter or slime. He would

also yell whenever they spilled

something. It came to the point that the

kids and I were walking on

eggshells.

That's when I learned to use the closet

as my best friend to try to get away from

him. Morgan, did you see what they

did?I would walk into my son or my

daughter's room and walk into their

closet and close the door behind me and

lock it and keep the light on. Come on,

everybody in. Morgan. And I would just

keep reassuring him that he's just having

a bad day and needs time to cool off

and we're just trying to stay out of the

way. Where are you?I would make it a

game and we would just do something in

there together.

Morgan. And I also got to

the point where I would put headphones in

there so I couldn't listen to his endless

banter and mean words. They have to learn

the value of things. Still, he would

still stand outside the door and

constantly talk. I don't want them to be

spoiled brats like you! Rod, please just

leave us alone. He would

pace back and forth and just be

screaming, yelling at horrible things.

I was a bitch, or I was a

horrible person, and I didn't care about

him. or I'm a bad mother.

Sometimes I would be in there for

20 minutes. Sometimes I might be in there

for an hour to two hours. It

just depended how long it took them to

cool down. Well, you can't keep doing

this.

But I never felt scared.

of him harming me or my children

physically. I didn't

get to experience other relationships,

and I thought that this type of

relationship was healthy. I didn't know

otherwise. By the time

I came out, he would turn

his manipulation side on and convince me

that, you know, he's going to be better.

When I look back now, it is just

mind-blowing. How

brainwashed I was to think that it was

OK. Going into the closet had

become a new normal for me, and I think

that I still do it to this day.

When I'm

overwhelmed or angry,

I go back into the closet because it

felt so normal and that's not healthy. I

know I

allowed it to become my new normal.

And that wasn't.

That wasn't working.

I started taking my kids to my

parents' house when Rod started having a

lot more of aggressive, I guess,

outburst, because I wanted to shield my

kids from that behavior.

On this particular night,He was

having one of his outbursts, and I just

felt as though it was getting a little

bit too harsh and strong for my kids,

and I decided to get them in the car and

take them over to my parents' house.

I walked out into the garage. I put my

kids in their car seat, buckled them up,

and at that point I turned around.

Rod was standing in the garage

holding a gun, and he put it to his head

as though he was about to shoot himself.

I just screamed and covered my eyes.

Then a few seconds later, I didn't hear

anything. And I slowly opened my

eyes and uncovered my face and looked up.

And he put the gun down by his

hips and turned around and walked back

into the house. That's

the kind of stuff he'd start to do for me

not to leave the house with the kids.

And that's where he got his control back.

He convinced me that I was the one at

fault. He would say, well,

I did that because you

were being unrealistic. You started the

fight. You

are the one that put the kids in the

car, so that made me angry.

He would just place all the blame on me,

and I'd be the one that ends up saying

sorry. I would

then go back into my head and convince

myself, that's no big deal. It's no big

deal. He just had a a bad day, so I could

get past it. I

just don't think I was ready at the

time to leave, because I still had hope

for him. But I was

in danger, and the worst was

still ahead of us.

Looking back on our

relationship, Rod,

starting to feel insecure and losing

control of the situation, changed

him, and then he started to

expose his manipulative ways.

It was like a talent for him. The key

could manipulate anything. It's

not just a simple thing, Morgan. Rod,

for you to get this angry is insane.

During one of Rod's meltdowns, it got

really heated and very ugly. And I had

said that I think I'm just going to take

the kids and go to my mom's or go to the

park or do something. Oh, no, you're not.

No, Rod, stop. Rod proceeded to say, you

can't take my kids from me. You can't

take my kids from me. They're not

leaving. They're not leaving. As he was

going up the stairs, he pretended to

fall down the stairs.

He found a way to trip himself to make it

look like I had pushed him.

Ohh And he looked at the twins and said,

Mommy just pushed me. Can you believe

that?Daddy! Did you

see that?Your mom just shoved me. I

immediately threw my hands up in the air

and I was like, babies, Mama didn't do

that. I promise you, I didn't do that.

They started crying because they saw

their father falling down the stairs. He

just kept saying, Oh my gosh, your mom

just pushed me down the stairs. I can't

believe she would hurt me. Morgan, I

can't believe this. Our kids aren't even

safe with you. I was

disgusted to think that he wanted my kids

to think that I hurt him. and turn them

away from me. I was looking at Rod,

saying, please stop. This is not OK

behavior. This is not healthy to do for

the kids.

Are you crazy?But it was a

game to him. All the things that Rod was

doing was the classic

case of a narcissistic person

losing control of

his main sense of power, which was

me. And as they start to lose that

control, they start to do odd

behaviors to gain that back.

I guess you're not taking them anywhere

today.

Our daily routine is he was always the

one that would read the current events

and catch up on everything, and if it was

bad or, you know, a criminal case or

something he heard in our area. He would

always inform me of it and tell me about

it. Did you read about this?He would give

me certain situations and scenarios, and

he would walk through it with me. That is

so scary. Radha told me,

listen, if somebody comes and attacks

you, you need to do.

This, this, and this. He gave me, like, a

step-by-step. The first step would be to

get your hands on them immediately. Get a

mark, scratch, get your DNA underneath

something. What if I can't?And

then look between the glove

and the wrist of the arm so you can get,

you know, the skin color. So he taught me

all of these certain tactics and things

to look for. And I just felt like he

was really caring for me and trying to

teach me what to do. I don't know

what I would do if anything ever happened

to you. I didn't raise any red flags at

that point, but he did tell me,

which now seems disturbing, that if I was

ever sexually assaulted, just lay there

and let it happen, because fighting would

only make it worse and more

painful. He tried to

pretend. He felt as though women should

never be touched and hurt, but now

looking back on it,All the signs showed

he was completely capable of it.

He was planning for this.

Towards the end of our relationship, Brod

got more and more comfortable to have his

outburst in public. Brod and I

were invited to go to a friend's birthday

party, and they had rented a boat.

And we decided to go and take it as a

kid-free weekend. My parents watched the

kids. Everyone was drinking. All

of us were laughing, having a good time.

It was right at dusk

when I decided to

go downstairs to our room. Rod came in

shortly after me and

just started saying, you're embarrassing

me. You're acting immature. You're you're

annoying people. You're making a

spectacle out of yourself. And

then I just said, fine, I'm just going to

go to bed then. All of a sudden, his

clenched fists were striking my

face.

He was hitting me. He was grabbing me,

scratching me. When he

stopped hitting me, at that point, he

turned the light on. There was blood

everywhere from my nose bleeding.

But he did a lot of gaslighting.

Jesus Christ, Morgan. You can't keep

acting like this when you drink this

much. Rod told me I got aggressive, and

he said he was trying to hold me back,

and I was trying to hit him. He would

turn it on me, saying, stop, Morgan.

You've got to stop this. I love you.

Don't do this to me. All I did was try

and calm you down. And started to

tell me that he still loves me.

He's not mad what I did. It's OK.

It's not your fault.

And said that I probably needed

a little bit of help. and that I need to

start acting mature. He

had the ability to convince me that I was

the one that did it. I'm not going to let

you hurt yourself like this.

And that's where he got

his control back. He convinced me that I

was the one at fault. Sleep it off.

I'll be back in a little bit. My

friends didn't buy the

story. After that,

Those friends refused to talk to me

because they didn't understand why I

didn't have enough respect for myself to

speak out and say, no, this was wrong.

That was the start of him physically

starting to hurt me. After the night on

the boat, anytime we would argue,

he had this look in his eye of desire to

want to hurt me, and he had never had

that before. It was very obvious that.

He wasn't my Rod anymore.

Rod and I have always had a

very healthy sex life.

But as time went on, our

already healthy sex life didn't seem

enough for him. It didn't seem to fulfill

him. Another night, Rod. Come on.

Two seconds. And it just

got to the point where he got so angry if

I ever said no. Stop.

He would get aggressive, and there was a

few times that he would force

himself on top of me and and start having

sex with me. Run! Run!

Get off of me! It wasn't consensual, and

he would just say certain comments like,

just give it a minute, just give it a

minute, and just blow me off.

And after he was done, I would say, Rod,

I was telling you the whole time to stop.

I wanted you to stop.

And he's like, oh, how dare you say that?

Like you're saying I went against your

word. He's like, you wanted it.

Like you didn't like it.

And he would convince me that I was being

overdramatic. I don't understand why you

have to be so theatrical about

everything. I would consider it

a form of rape, and he didn't take no for

an answer.

After those sexual encounters, I was

like, this is enough. I don't have to

keep dealing with it. I need to start

thinking of how to to get away.

I filed for a divorce.

Shortly after I had filed for divorce, I

was at my mom's house. Who

keeps calling you?

And he decided to sit in my parents'

driveway and refused to leave because

he wanted to see his kids. Oh, my

God. What?What

is it?He's outside.

That's when all of the calls started

coming in. Rod started calling me,

texting me.

What's going on?I'm so sorry. I can

change. You know, I need to see my

kids. That's when all of that started.

Rod had refused to leave,

even though my parents had asked him to.

And we had to have the cops called.

He told the cops, I'm allowed to sit

here. Minding my business. They said,

You're not allowed to sit in someone's

driveway. I mean, you can sit on the

street, and I can't tell you to leave. So

he moved his car out onto the street and

just sat there.

Is he gone?I tried to convince him to

leave, but he did not. And during that

time, he was sitting there, he was

constantly calling me. Rod, there

is nothing to talk about. Go away!

All in all, Rod was probably there about

two hours. He finally just left on his

own.

And a few days later, Rod finally agreed

to the divorce because he said, I know

I'll win you back. My family and

I felt Rod's behavior

was unhealthy. We found

it really concerning. We tried to

empathize with it, but we knew it wasn't

right.

I filed for divorce just a few weeks

before Halloween. And it

was agreed upon that I would be staying

in the houseAfter Rod moved out,

I promised the kids we would carve

pumpkins. It was going to be a fun,

just a little family gathering with me,

my kids, my mom and my

dad. And as we were getting started,

Rod showed up

like nothing ever happened. Happy

Halloween and forced himself in

on that little gathering.

Hi. I was angry. I was sad. I was scared.

I was nervous. But the kids were really

excited to see Rod. What do you want to

make?He knew that if he had walked in

when the kids were around, he would be

able to be safe and be in there, because

he knows I wouldn't start an issue.

Both my parents and I looked at each

other like, OK, let's not cause a

situation. But

at the end of the night, I addressed

it with him and said that. You

technically trespassed and walked in on

this house that you weren't invited on

and were separated. This moment was for

me and my kids. You can't just keep

showing up here like this. And

he just got angry and left.

You are making a big mistake.

Thanksgiving, he showed up. The same

thing happened on Christmas.

At this point, it was getting to where

it was really freaking me out. I was

starting to feel unsafe and just felt

grossed out, like he's a stalker or he's

just-- something was off.

Rob was obsessed with me. He couldn't

live without me. He was going crazy with

the thought that I couldn't be his, and

if I couldn't be his, I would be nobody's

at all.

New Year's Eve week, Rod wrote me an

e-mail, a pretty lengthy one,

expressing that he had the possibility of

having pancreatic cancer and

that he felt alone and afraid,

and he wanted me to help,

I guess, support him emotionally.

Regardless of the things that Rod had

done to me in the past, he was the father

of my children and I cared for him and I

I wanted to be there for him during. this

rough time.

And I told him he could sleep on the

sofa. I

didn't think that Rod was capable of such

a heinous lie. Thanks again for doing

this. But he was already prepping

for his next plan.

I think this could actually be really

good for us, you know?

Okay, um, Rod, we talked about

this, okay?This is only

temporary, all right?When Rod moved out

of the house, I decided to add a

few more things to our security system to

make me feel a little bit more

comfortable being home alone. I'm going

to turn in. Let me know if you need

anything else. I added more cameras

to the front and the back of the house,

changed all the locks in my house. I

took Rod's name and

information off all of the accounts for

the security system. I felt like I

covered my bases.

But in the middle of the night, he

tampered with the alarm downstairs in a

way that I would never catch it.

After the first day and the first night,

he had started to persuade me into

getting back with him. Come on,

this is nice. Let me-- Let me show you

I've changed. He started becoming

really aggressive with those type of

comments. And

I told him no. He got angry

at that point and got his stuff and he

left. That was his last shot

before planning his big attack.

On New Year's Eve, I was getting

pretty intense text messages from

Rod.

constantly asking me if he could take me

out on New Year's Eve, if I could give

him one date, if I would start dating him

to win me back. I

messaged him and said, I'm turning my

phone off for the evening, and I'm going

to go stay at my parents' house for the

night, and left it at that.

And said I went home for the

evening to to be alone.

It was probably about 8:00. My kids were

with my sister. I was thinking in my

head, OK, I'm just going to watch a

movie, relax, got in my pajamas,

popped some popcorn. I turned

all the lights off. I set my security

alarm.

That's when I felt the sense of someone

watching me. It was the first time I'd

ever felt

uneasy in my house.

I just had this really bad feeling.

I kind of looked out the windows a little

bit, but it's so dark you can't really

see past you. I

couldn't shake the feeling of thinking

someone was watching me or I was being

followed, but I just told

myself, oh, stop it. Like, it's fine.

I just brushed it off. It's been a hard

day. Let's just relax.

When the movie is over, I took myself to

bed, and I just

instantly fell asleep.

I remember being woken up,

not by a sound, but

what felt like somebody staring at me.

And I opened up my eyes, and I saw

this figure standing in my bedroom

doorway.

I screamed so loud that my

throat was in excruciating pain. I didn't

think it was possible to be able to

scream like that.

The attacker jumped on me. I

didn't have enough time to get my legs

out from the covers or to be able to do

anything to get away. I was

slammed down back on the mattress. He

instantly put a gun to my forehead. The

scariest part was that his

face was covered, but his voice was

like a disguise. It sounded like Batman.

It was really deep and really scary.

The attacker looked at me and said,

you have messed with the wrong people,

and you're going to pay. And

they started yelling at me, where's your

jewelry?Where's your jewelry?And I was

like, I don't have any. I don't have any

jewelry. I tried to tell myself to remain

calm and to remember a few things that

Rod had taught me. The first thing I

tried was to get a mark on

his body, a scratch or something that

would leave my-- his DNA underneath my

fingernails.

But it's like he was one step ahead of

me. He grabbed my arms immediately and

put them to where I couldn't touch him.

And then I tried to look to see. His

wrist, where the gloves are to see his

the color of his skin, but

they were tucked into his glove and

there's no way that I could see them.

That was when he started beating me with

the butt of the gun.

After that, he took my

arms, flipped me over onto my

stomach and

zip tied my hands to the back of my body.

And then shoved my head

into the pillow and the mattress,

causing me to

be smothered.

I couldn't breathe anymore. I

was thinking,

OK, this is it. I'm

gone. I'm not going to make it. I don't

know why this is happening, but

I couldn't fight anymore.

And I started to hit the point

of passing out.

And the last thought I had was, oh my

gosh, like, if I hadn't divorced

Rod, I would have had somebody here to

keep me safe. What did I do?Now my

kids aren't going to have a mom.

At the point of passing out, he

let go and let me.

Look at a large gasp of air.

It's like he was losing the nerve to do

it.

And then he got quiet, picked my head

up, and like yanked a pillowcase over

my head and lifted me

off the bed. And he walked me outside and

he pushed me down on the deck pretty

aggressively.

He had said, you're going to wish that

you'd never done this. This is the

biggest mistake you've ever made.

And I said, I don't know what I've done.

I don't know what I've done. And

he said to me, do not get

up until you hear three

car honks

or we will shoot you in the face.

Don't move it or we will kill you.

OK. I could hear the

footsteps of

him walking off the deck. But

I kept waiting, and I didn't hear

anything.

I was telling myself, OK, don't try to

run. Like, really listen for the car

honks. These people could be sitting in

here watching me throughout these

windows, and if I move, I'm I'm a goner.

And I just laid there

and waited. and what seemed like forever.

And then I heard footsteps walking down

on the concrete on the sidewalk.

And the footsteps

stopped.

I became really

nervous because I wasn't sure

where that person was.

Until I heard Rod

screaming, oh, baby, what happened?

What happened?

The pillowcase was ripped off my head,

and it was Rod

standing there.

Who did this to you?

Not one ounce in my body believes that

By chance, he was just hanging out in the

neighborhood at 2:00 AM.

He generally looked shocked when he saw

my face, not in the way of, oh, my gosh,

who could do this to my life?But, oh, my

gosh, look what I did to her.

I instantly looked at him and said, was

this you?And he responded with,

no. I was

at my house, and someone was tapping on

my window. and was saying your name like

you were in danger. He said I couldn't

really hear what they were saying, so I

instantly jumped in my car and came here.

How did you know that I was here?

And I said back to him, the last time we

spoke, I told you I was going to

my mom's house. Why didn't you go to my

mom's house?Uh, uh, uh,

it was just natural. I always think

you're here, so I guess I was just--Just

ran straight here first and forgot.

And at that moment, I thought to myself,

Morgan, be quiet. You are possibly still

alone with your attacker, and you need to

be cautious of what you say before help

gets here. There is still a chance of

me not coming out of this alive.

Just be quiet. Go along with him. Don't

do anything to try to provoke him.

So I instantly stopped myself and didn't

say anything else. And he got on the

phone, and he called 911

and had stated that

we had an intrusion or a break-in.

But he said, it's not a

big deal. We don't need the red lights or

anything. She's fine. It's It's no big

deal.

And you said somebody is tapping on your

window. You live on the first floor.

Somebody's tapping on my window that's in

my bedroom. Immediately, I called her,

and I called her and I sent her a

voicemail. I texted her and I drove shit

over you.

Rod was trying to

Portray his story as if he was warned by

somebody that I was in

danger and came over trying to

find me or save me. I just saw when I

grabbed her and pulled the shield and

then picked it up. I looked and I said,

are you OK?And she was just and I

saw that she had hands inside. His

story was very sloppy and it was far from

the truth. And the detective felt the

same exact way and and this whole thing

about. I'm getting somebody knocking on

my window or my building or whatever, and

then she's being beat up at the same

time. That's That's way out there,

OK?The officer asked

me who I thought it could have been,

if it was possible that my ex-husband was

capable of this. And

that's when I said,

I think so. You knew she was to be at her

parents' house. You knew she was here.

How'd you know she was here?I didn't know

she was here. The

detectives started to turn the

story around on Rod

and hit him pretty fast. It

took him by surprise because they had

originally been praising him for being

the big hero.

There's no way in hell somebody knocked

out your window and said her

name. And you immediately come over here

because you're going to check on them.

They found the zip

ties in his his

apartment. They had

found his computer

that was showing he was Googling how

to kill somebody,

how to shoot somebody in the heart,

learning about strangulation. You

wouldn't come over here as the hero. One

arm. I wasn't trying to be a hero. I was

making sure she was OK. And that was

when the cops discovered his

suicide letter

and his final letter to me. So

he had planned on killing

me and then killing himself.

I guess because if he couldn't have me,

he didn't want anybody else to have me.

So this is all premeditated. It wasn't

just a moment

of insanity.

I watched them handcuff him at about

7:00 in the morning. And I just remember

standing there, seeing that, just going,

this is this is it. He's gone.

He's out of my life.

This is a picture of somebody that is

mentally disturbed and

needs a lot of help. This is not my

husband in this picture. This is

my attacker.

I think he always thought he could get

away with it.

It's hard to know what he's thinking or

why he did what he did.

But he wasn't capable of living alone. I

wish I could say I never had to speak

with Rod again. But the plea deal that

was offered to Rod was parole at 20

years, depending on his behavior.

And when he gets out of prison,I am sure

he's going to want to see his children,

and it seems inevitable

that I'll have to.

But when it's time for Rod to come up for

parole, I will fight it. I feel that

he needs to serve his full time.

I am not going to allow him

to push me into a corner and be afraid

anymore. To this day,

Rod has not told me why he did what he

did. And that was something I was

struggling with. I wanted to know all the

answers. But I don't

think I would believe him if he did tell

me. With

every action, there's a

consequence. And this time, Rod got

caught, and he's going to pay for that.