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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:19,385
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:21,253
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:24,223
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,691
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:28,060
♪ People spouting,
"howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:30,696
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:34,333
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
9
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:38,137
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:45,677
♪♪
11
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:47,780
Welcome to Netflix.
12
00:00:47,782 --> 00:00:51,350
Last year, we approved
16 original shows and movies,
13
00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:56,321
and this year, it is our goal
to make that number 1,087.
14
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:59,324
That's why we here at Netflix
are thrilled to be working
15
00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:02,528
with you two comedy geniuses,
Terrance and Phillip.
16
00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:08,333
[ Farts ]
17
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:09,835
[ Laughs ]
18
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:11,503
Classic stuff.
19
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:12,838
Now go ahead
and pitch what you're thinking
20
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,740
for your Netflix
original series.
21
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:18,177
Well, we were thinking
that we'd do a show
22
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,245
where Phillip and I
are on a farm.
23
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,147
With a cow.
24
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:24,516
[ Chuckling ] Okay,
I love it so far.
25
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:27,352
The sun is just starting
to come up, and then...
26
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:29,588
I fart on Phillip.
27
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:34,460
And I say, "Terrance!
You farted!"
28
00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:36,195
And I...
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00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:40,532
fart on Terrance.
30
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,434
And then it's like
a back and forth kind of thing?
It's sort of like a --
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00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:46,505
It's like a back and forth
kind of thing.
32
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:50,275
I fart on him.
33
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,677
He...
34
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:53,312
farts...
35
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:54,580
on...
36
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:55,747
On you. Got it.
37
00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:57,382
No!
38
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,284
On the cow.
39
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,153
[ Laughs ]
40
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:04,456
Welcome to Netflix,
you sons a bitches! Yeah!
41
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:07,526
Hooray.
42
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:10,696
[ School bell rings ]
43
00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:14,299
[ Children shouting excitedly ]
44
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,567
Come on, Tweek!
Hurry!
45
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,536
What's going on?
46
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:20,639
Tweek:
Cartman and his girlfriend
are fighting again!
47
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:24,376
[ Cartman grunting ]
48
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:25,777
God damn it.
49
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:27,212
Sweetheart!
Piece of shit!
50
00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:29,882
[ Cartman grunting ]
51
00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:31,583
Honey! I wanna watch
"Terrance and Phillip"
52
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,252
tonight with my friends!
53
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,753
You promised we'd have
a date night!
54
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,722
Ugh!
55
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,390
It's just one night, babe!
56
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,558
Stan is having
a viewing party, honey!
57
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:40,726
[ Grunts ]
58
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:42,327
So then why can't I come?!
59
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,263
"Terrance and Phillip"
is guys' night thing baby!
60
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,597
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
61
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,332
What the hell
are you all doing?!
62
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,767
Watching Heidi
get her bitch-ass kicked!
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00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:49,935
Fuck you,
Wendy!
64
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:51,436
Don't take that crap,
Heidi!
65
00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:52,905
Let Cartman have it!
66
00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:55,774
Guys! Guys, this has gone on
way too long!
67
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:58,744
Can't we all stop being
so mean to each other?
68
00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:02,948
Shut up, Kyle.
You sound like your mom.
69
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:06,218
[ Laughter ]
70
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,786
That was awesome, baby.
I love you.
71
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,521
I love you, too,
babe.
72
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,356
Aww...
Damn it.
73
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,592
Fights over.
Kyle ruined it!
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00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:19,264
All right, everyone.
Listen up.
75
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,500
As you know, there has been
a lot of bullying
76
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,669
and insensitivity
at our school.
77
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,737
To counteract this,
it is my firm belief
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00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,472
that South Park Elementary
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00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:30,342
is in desperate need
of a strong woman.
80
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,977
So in looking for
a new vice principal,
81
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:34,246
we wanted to find
a powerful, intelligent,
82
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:37,316
and independent female
to be a role model for us all.
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00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:38,617
And with that said,
I'd like to introduce
84
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,485
our new vice principal --
Strong Woman.
85
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:42,854
[ Claps ]
86
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,224
Thank you,
PC Principal.
87
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,792
All right, everyone.
Listen up.
88
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:48,627
I'm the new vice principal
of the school.
89
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,662
My name is Strong Woman.
90
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,497
I've already spent a few days
here at the school
91
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,366
watching and observing,
92
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:56,501
and we definitely have things
we can all be working on.
93
00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:57,669
Hey!
Stotch!
94
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,271
You do not disrespect
Strong Woman
95
00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:01,506
by talking
when she's talking.
96
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,475
You really think I couldn't have
handled that myself?
97
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,544
Oh! Uh, I was just
making sure everything was --
98
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,746
You really had to grab the mic
out of my hand like that?
99
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,348
Shit. I mean -- No, sorry.
Sorry, I'm not --
100
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:10,882
Uh, here you go.
101
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:12,384
I want the girls
here at this school
102
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:13,885
to know that they can talk to me
about anything.
103
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,520
But I also want
the boys to know
104
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,789
that what I'm looking for
is a better place for everybody.
105
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,324
Turning this school around
106
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:20,559
is going to take work
from everyone.
107
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:23,362
From everyone.
108
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:25,864
I'm sorry. Am I not
doing this correctly?
109
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:29,534
No. No. Sorry!
I thought I'd add --
Just add for emphasis.
110
00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:32,904
You felt it wasn't
strong enough, me saying it?
111
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:36,775
No, I'm --
Uh, I'm sorry.
112
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,844
I'm looking forward to being
your vice principal.
113
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:41,580
And I'm looking forward to
turning this school around.
114
00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:42,681
All right. Now,
if we have any que--
115
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:44,416
I'm not finished.
116
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,717
Right!
Oh, I'm sorry.
117
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,686
Pay attention, everybody!
118
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:51,056
♪♪
119
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:54,393
It's "The Terrance
& Phillip Show!"
120
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,727
On Netflix.
121
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:58,730
♪♪
122
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,599
Hey, Terrance!
123
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:05,304
What did the black lawyer
say to the Muslim priest?
124
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:08,373
I don't know, Phillip.
What?
125
00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:16,048
[ Farts ]
126
00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:17,516
[ Laughs ]
127
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,851
[ Laughs ]
128
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,053
[ Laughter ]
129
00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:22,054
[ Doorbell rings ]
130
00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:24,990
Come in!
[ Door opens ]
131
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,326
Did we miss it?
It's just starting.
132
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:28,927
Oh, look, honey --
Kyle's mom is here!
133
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,629
Shouldn't you be at Temple,
Ms. Broflovski?
134
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,898
[ Laughter ]
135
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,499
Hola.
136
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,668
Would you like to buy
some chimichangas?
137
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,603
Sí, mi amigo!
138
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:41,440
Here. I'll give you
two pesos.
139
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:42,741
[ Farts ]
[ Farts ]
140
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:44,609
[ Laughing and farting ]
141
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:46,078
[ Laughter ]
142
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,879
Dude,
that's awesome!
143
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:50,916
[ Laughter ]
144
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,684
Wha-What's wrong,
dude?
145
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,086
For the first time,
I feel kinda bad
146
00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:56,555
for the person
being farted on.
147
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,457
Ohp. Kyle's mom doesn't like
the cartoon, guys.
148
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:01,593
Better shut it off.
[ Laughter ]
149
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:04,129
Baby, I fuckin' love you
so much.
150
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:09,368
All right, everyone.
Listen up.
151
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:11,370
As you all know, we've been
looking for a strong woman
152
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:13,739
to take on the roll of
vice principal at this school.
153
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:15,707
We couldn't be happier
with the selection we've made,
154
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,143
and we're sure she'll be making
our school a better place.
155
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:20,479
So with that,
let me turn over the floor
156
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,647
to our new vice principal --
Strong Woman.
157
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:25,050
[ Applause ]
158
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,386
Thanks, everyone.
All right. Listen up.
159
00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:28,687
I fully appreciate
that some of you
160
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,722
might be uncomfortable
with me being here.
161
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,858
Earlier today, I noticed that
some faculty
162
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:36,395
weren't sure whether to call me
Miss Woman or just Strong.
163
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:37,863
If I were a man,
you'd probably address me
164
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,664
as Vice Principal Woman,
165
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:40,966
so why would it should it be
any different, huh?
166
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:44,069
We good?
M'kay.
167
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,004
So I've been getting to know
some of the students here,
168
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,506
and I'm definitely hearing
169
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,074
a lot of frustration
and confusion
170
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,443
over issues that all the schools
are facing right now.
171
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,845
I also spent some time
observing in the cafeteria
172
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,547
and was pretty shocked by the
abusive and intolerant language.
173
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:56,748
[ Hootie and the Blowfish's
"Hold My Hand" plays ]
174
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,184
Not sure if any of you
have noticed,
175
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:01,686
♪ With a little love ♪
but a lot of the girls
are eating their lunches
176
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:02,921
♪ And some tenderness ♪
out on the playground
to avoid being around
177
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,157
the toxic environment
that's been created.
178
00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:08,026
♪ We'll walk upon the water ♪
It's my intention to make
the cafeteria...
179
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:10,929
♪ We'll rise above the mess ♪
180
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,732
♪ With a little peace ♪
P.E. class is another
huge problem at this school.
181
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:17,436
♪ And some harmony ♪
The girls' gym outfits...
182
00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:19,037
♪ We'll take
the world together ♪
...seem not to have been
updated since the '60s.
183
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,006
We have a lot of work to do
here, I intend to do it quickly.
184
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,741
Excuse me.
I-I'm sorry,
185
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:25,777
but, uh, is anyone else
hearing Hootie and the Blowfish
186
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,679
like very, very softly?
187
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,748
♪ 'Cause I wanna run with you ♪
188
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,183
Yeah, yeah.
I hear it.
189
00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:34,453
It's - It's coming
from over here somewhere.
190
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,555
Excuse me, everyone.
I, um -- I need to get
to the restroom.
191
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,722
Sorry.
I'll be right back.
192
00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:45,597
[ Children shouting, laughing ]
193
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:47,566
[ Farts, laughs ]
194
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,901
[ Farts ]
[ Laughter ]
195
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:50,902
Hold on, hold on.
Over here. Over here.
196
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:54,072
[ Farting ]
197
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,475
[ Farts ]
[ Laughs ]
198
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,043
[ Farting, laughing ]
199
00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:02,481
♪♪
200
00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:03,748
Join together,
let no man --
[ Farts ]
201
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,083
Ugh!
202
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:13,058
♪♪
203
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:21,233
♪♪
204
00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:25,504
Man: That's it.That's it, Kyle.
205
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:37,716
♪♪
206
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,985
No more.
207
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:44,256
No more of them doody jokes.
208
00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:46,825
No more watching cartoonsof people --
209
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:50,629
people having to go doody,
210
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:53,932
and poo-pooingon each other's heads.
211
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:56,167
It's not funny anymore,is it, Kyle?
212
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:59,804
♪♪
213
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:05,210
[ Hootie and the Blowfish's
"Hold My Hand" plays ]
214
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,244
♪ With a little love ♪
215
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,113
[ Music plays muffled ]
216
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,881
♪ And some tenderness ♪
217
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,716
[ Music plays normally ]
218
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,719
[ Muffled ]
♪ We'll walk upon the water ♪
219
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,022
[ Music stops ]
220
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:18,557
Hello there, Mister...
221
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:19,724
Principal, is it?
222
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,560
That's right.
I'm PC Principal.
223
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:22,994
What's bringing you
in today?
224
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,730
I'm, uh, having this problem
with my ears.
225
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,567
There's like a persistent kind
of a...ringing going on.
226
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:31,303
Okay.
Can you describe the ringing?
227
00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:33,805
It's, uh,
Hootie and the Blowfish.
228
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,707
You're hearing a song?
229
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:38,310
Yeah, um, [clears throat]
there's a new woman
230
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:40,979
that has joined our faculty.
Her name is Strong Woman.
231
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,614
And, uh, she seems
to have set off
232
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,249
some kind of device
in my ears.
233
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:47,252
So, maybe you're having
some feelings for her.
234
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,187
No, that couldn't be it.
We work in the same place,
235
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,989
so it'd be impossible
for me to like her.
236
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,224
I'm thinking there must be
some kind of device in my ears.
237
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,060
Well, I looked,
238
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,862
and Hootie and the Blowfish
aren't in your ears.
239
00:09:57,864 --> 00:10:01,366
I believe your hearing them
in your mind and your heart.
240
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,702
Oh. dude.
241
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,136
Bro.
242
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:13,078
[ Knock on door ]
243
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:17,916
Strong Woman:
You may enter.
244
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,250
Vice Principal Woman?
245
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,953
Yes?
What can I do for you?
246
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,622
My name's Kyle,
247
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,624
and I've been doing
a lot of changing lately.
248
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:27,892
I came because I might
be able to offer some...
249
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:29,361
insight into
our problems here.
250
00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,630
Please.
By all means.
251
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:33,999
You see, there's a culture
at this school
252
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,834
that embraces meanness,
253
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,370
and I believe now it comes
from a Canadian TV show.
254
00:10:38,372 --> 00:10:40,739
All the boys watch it.
I did, too.
255
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,374
We all laughed
while they...
256
00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:44,709
farted
on innocent people's heads.
257
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:46,144
The thing is...
258
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,213
I never felt for the person
being farted on...
259
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:50,815
until now.
260
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,884
I want to work with you
to try open people's eyes.
261
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,353
Because I get it now.
262
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:58,723
You want to blame farts?
263
00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:00,659
That seems kind of ridiculous,
doesn't it?
264
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:02,927
What?
265
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,262
I mean, it's a slippery slope
266
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,196
when we start
pointing the finger
267
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,165
for our own short comings.
268
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,334
But -- But I thought for sure
you would be on my side.
269
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,936
Kind of sounds like something my
mother would say, actually.
270
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,372
What?!
Oh, forget it!
271
00:11:17,109 --> 00:11:19,411
Cartman: May I haveyour attention please?
272
00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:21,246
Mrs. Broflovski,your tampons
273
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:22,681
are availableat the front desk.
274
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,816
Mrs. Broflovski,your tampons are
availableat the front desk.
275
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:27,318
Thank you.[ Laughs ]
276
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,287
[ Laughter ]
277
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:32,123
Heidi: [ Laughs ] Come on.We gotta get outta here!
278
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,392
[ Growls ]
279
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:38,029
♪ Hold my hand ♪
280
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,098
♪ Want you to hold my hand ♪
281
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,200
♪ Hold my hand ♪
282
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,468
You wanted to see me,
PC Principal?
283
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,003
♪ I'll take you to -- ♪
Oh, yes!
284
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,337
Yes, Mackey, uh...
285
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,039
I just wanted to see
how you thought
286
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,441
it was going with
Strong Woman.
287
00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:51,876
Well, she seems to be
acclimating fine, m'kay.
288
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,078
The kids really respect her.
289
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,879
Do you know, um...
290
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,449
Do you know if Strong Woman
has a boyfriend?
291
00:11:57,451 --> 00:11:58,717
What?!
292
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:00,018
Nothing.
Just forget it.
293
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,820
Are you out of your
fuckin' mind?!
294
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,456
Askin' if a co-worker is
available in today's times?!
295
00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:06,991
I just wanted to know
because if she's unavailable,
296
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:09,127
then maybe I can get my head
off of her, all right?!
297
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,229
Oh, boy, this is bad.
298
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,364
This is real bad.
299
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,365
I don't know
how it happened.
300
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,900
I know it's inappropriate,
301
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,235
and yet I can't stop
thinking about her.
302
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,970
I think I'm sick.
303
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:22,941
Look, this is real fuckin' fire
you're playin' with, m'kay?
304
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,043
I'm gonna get someone
down here from HR!
305
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:28,046
HR? Is that, like,
Hootie removal?
306
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,914
No, Human Resources!
307
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,382
The people that come in
to make sure everything's
308
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:32,817
kept on the level.
309
00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:38,923
We gotta get you
back on track!
310
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:42,227
Is Canada a bad influence
on the United States?
311
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:45,897
A group of young people called
"Millennials Against Canada"
312
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:49,033
think so, and we are joined by
their leader, Kyle Broflovski.
313
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:50,969
Thanks for having me, Tom.
314
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:54,105
Young man, you say Canada is to
blame for most of our problems.
315
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,808
All I'm saying is that there's
a culture that originates
316
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,843
from Canada which is at least
partly to blame for the state
317
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:00,178
of our country now.
318
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:01,846
To respond to this,
we're now joined
319
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:03,515
by the Canadian Minister
of Streaming.
320
00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:05,817
Thanks for having me, buddy.
321
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:08,386
Minister, how do you answer
to these angry millennials?
322
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,288
Well, they're pissed off
because their country sucks,
323
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,823
so they wanna point
the finger at us.
324
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,458
I'm saying we're
all guilty, too.
325
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,426
I grew up watching
Terrance and Phillip,
326
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,929
and I thought
it was funny.
So, you thought it was funny,
327
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,398
but now it's not funny?
No, it was never funny.
I see it differently now!
328
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,866
Oh, so you want to censor it?
329
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,234
We don't want to censor it,
330
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,103
we just want to
get rid of it!
331
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:27,205
Uh-huh.
You sound like a Jewish Mother.
332
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:30,074
Oh, see?! That's what I'm
talking about right there!
333
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,911
That kind of mean, degrading,
Canadian trash.
334
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,979
Now, I resent that!
I find that racist.
335
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,414
Canadians should care about
the rest of the world!
336
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:37,949
You are a racist, fwiend!
337
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,384
And if you have a problem
with Canada,
338
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:40,585
maybe you should talk to
your backward president!
339
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,320
-Maybe I will!
-'Kay, go ahead!
340
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,822
Maybe I know
the president.
341
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,123
Oh, sure you do,
just like all Jewish moms
342
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,457
because you don't understand
how --
343
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:47,892
Stop calling me that!
Can I finish?!
344
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,160
That's all you know
is how to be mean and --
345
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,562
There's not a --
Can I finish please?!
346
00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:52,263
Because you were all
raised on it yourselves!
347
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:56,067
Please, can I finish?!
348
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,468
All right, I'm finished.
349
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,938
All right, everyone, listen up.
350
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,240
As you know we want to provide
a safe work environment
351
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,842
for all our employees.
352
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:05,510
Sometimes feelings do arise
353
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:08,413
and we are tempted by the devil
to act upon them.
354
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,515
So we've been reaching out
to Human Resources Division
355
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,283
as I think we can all
use someone to tell us
356
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:15,119
about what is and isn't
considered misconduct.
357
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:16,888
She has some great advice
for us,
358
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,090
so now please welcome
Heather Conduct.
359
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,525
Go ahead, Miss Conduct.
360
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,594
Hello, everyone,
my name is Miss Conduct.
361
00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:24,462
I'm here to talk about
making sure we avoid
362
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:27,432
any trouble at this school,
m'all right?
363
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,400
M'kay.
364
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:30,235
M'all right.
365
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:32,170
Now, by a show of hands,
366
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:35,540
who's ever had inappropriate
feelings for a co-worker?
367
00:14:44,116 --> 00:14:47,285
Well, hello there,
little girl.
368
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:50,521
Are you selling
girl scout cookies?
369
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:53,191
Why, yes I am.
How about a snickerdoodle?
370
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:58,429
All right.
You asked for it.
371
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:01,065
[ Farts ]
372
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,533
[ Laughs ]
373
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,002
[ Laughs ]
374
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:07,372
Oh! Oh, I think
I shit my pants.
375
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,340
[ Whistle blows ]
376
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,376
All right! That's it!
Everyone stop!
377
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,912
We're shutting it down!
378
00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:21,419
We are
Millennials Against Canada!
379
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,221
We demand this kind of bullying
380
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,189
Canadian entertainment
be stopped!
381
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,358
Didn't think I'd live
long enough to see
382
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:31,963
this all happen again.
383
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:35,266
More and More millennials
are turning into Jewish mothers
384
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,569
today as they demand
the censorship of entertainment.
385
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:41,572
The protesters say they're
not giving up and are demanding
386
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:44,442
to speak with the president
of the United States.
387
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:45,977
[ Cellphone ringing ]
388
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,612
Here you go! Call is
coming in on your phone!
389
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,347
Good give it here!
Yes, hello?
390
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:52,283
This is the leader of
the Millennials Against Canada.
391
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,519
Kyle, what the fuck
are you doing?
392
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:57,255
Oh, I'm sorry I'm taking
a stand and doing something.
393
00:15:57,257 --> 00:16:00,224
I realize this doesn't gel
with your nihilism!
394
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,560
Okay, dude. I didn't
want to have say this,
395
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,963
but you're really starting
to sound like your mom.
396
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:06,130
I'm not like my mom!
397
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,465
I'm gonna make a difference!
398
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,533
It's gonna feel real good!
399
00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:10,301
Kyle? Kyle!
400
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,703
Don't do this man!
401
00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:13,037
You can't mess
with this shit
402
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:14,372
while You Know Who
is in office!
403
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,307
We're all gonna die!!
404
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,511
♪♪
405
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,647
M'all right,
so now everyone,
406
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,016
we're gonna do some
role playing, m'all right,
407
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:28,386
talk about appropriate ways
we can talk in the workplace.
408
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,722
Can I -- Can I get a volunteer
to role play with me?
409
00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:33,224
M'all right?
How about you Mister, uh...
410
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,059
Mr. Mackey.
411
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:37,495
M'all right, come on up here.
412
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,564
M'all right now,
we're just gonna pretend
413
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:40,765
it's a normal morning
before work
414
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,533
and we're startin' the day.
M'all right?
415
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,303
Oh, Mr. Mackey,
good morning.
416
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:48,139
Good morning, uh,
Miss Conduct.
417
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,407
Now did you have
a nice night?
418
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,709
Yeah, yeah, it was good.
419
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,178
M'all right, okay, well,
good luck today,
420
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,580
and I hope that
our working relationship
421
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:58,016
can continue be honest
and straightforward.
422
00:16:58,018 --> 00:17:01,019
Oh, I'm very open and honest,
I promise you that.
423
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:03,755
I can see that, you've got
very honest eyes, m'all right.
424
00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,456
M'all right, I probably
shouldn't have said
425
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,724
"You have honest eyes,"
m'all right.
426
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,493
That's a bit crossin'
the line commenting
427
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:10,628
on his physical attributes,
m'all right? That's bad.
428
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:13,297
I'm gonna stick to just talking
about work only, m'all right?
429
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:15,400
So, uh, Mr. Mackey,
what methods do you use
430
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,135
for counseling the students?
431
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,337
Oh, I mostly use
a semi-cognitive approach
432
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:20,805
adapted
by Kiezrick Solomon.
433
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,440
Wow, you studied Solomon?
434
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,442
He was actually my thesis
in college.
435
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:27,211
Are you serious? Nobody I talk
to has ever even heard of him!
436
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,613
No! Same here!
437
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:30,648
What made you attracted
to his work?
438
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,650
Well, it's just such
a natural approach, m'kay.
439
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,485
M'all right.
M'all right.
440
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:35,586
When I read it, you know,
first, I was like,
441
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,622
"Whoa, okay."
M'all right.
442
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,323
"This just really makes
sense," you know?
443
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:41,192
[ Chuckles ]
Well, m'all right.
444
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,794
Mmm'kay.
445
00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:44,295
M'all right.
446
00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:54,372
Mister President, you need
to do something
447
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,474
about your millennials!
448
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:59,811
What do you want me to do?
449
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:02,346
Terrance and Phillip
are Canada's largest export!
450
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:05,249
They account for 80%
of our gross national product!
451
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,852
If your citizens mess with them,
they mess with all of us.
452
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:11,522
Look, I'm president
of the United States.
453
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:14,192
I can't get involved
in every petty little protest
454
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,827
against a third world country.
455
00:18:15,829 --> 00:18:18,196
Third world country?!
How dare you!
456
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:19,764
Canada is second world at least!
457
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,400
Now, you listen here,
Mr. Buddy!
458
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,403
Either you stop the embargo on
the "Terrance and Phillip show,"
459
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:28,206
or we'll bring in our own troops
to stop it ourselves!
460
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:31,342
Are you threatening us,
you beady-eyed Canuck?
461
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,678
I'm simply telling you
that Canada will do
462
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,546
what it must
to protect itself!
463
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:38,683
Then I guess both our countries
better be prepared.
464
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:42,253
[ Dramatic music plays ]
465
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,688
And then, you know, I was looking for
something to get away from the city.
466
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,290
I've never really been
a city person.
467
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,525
M'all right. M'all right.
468
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,227
I definitely get that.
M'all right.
469
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,294
I like hiking around,
being around in nature, m'kay.
470
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,230
I agree, I agree,
the city's bad.
471
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:54,866
I love hiking, too. What are
some of your favorite places?
472
00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:56,868
Well you know Mount Evans
is always nice.
473
00:18:56,870 --> 00:18:58,236
[ Chuckles ] M'all right.
M'all right.
474
00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,904
[ Siren wailing ]
475
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:02,373
[ Alarm bell rings ]
476
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,508
What the hell is that?
477
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,476
There's some kind of...
478
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,545
military alert going out.
479
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,547
All right,
military alert everyone.
480
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:10,815
Let's get to the hallways
481
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:11,616
and get the students
to the gymnasium.
482
00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,584
Come on. Let's move!
483
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,320
[ Helicopter blades whirring ]
484
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,689
[ Sirens wailing ]
485
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,691
It's the National Guard!
486
00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:22,293
The National Guard?!
487
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:24,595
It's the President!
He wants to talk to you.
488
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,564
Yes, this is
Millennials Against Canada.
489
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:28,733
Yeah, listen this thing
is kind of escalating.
490
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:30,768
You people need to
call it quits.
491
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,503
We can't do that,
Mr. President.
492
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,238
Someone has to do
what's right!
493
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,908
What exactly do you want?
494
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,809
What do I want?!
495
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,745
I want a world...
496
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:43,681
where laughter doesn't come
at someone else's expense,
497
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:48,186
where people can live freely
without fear of being farted on.
498
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:52,790
I want a world where you aren't
ridiculed for trying to help!
499
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,760
A world where a nice girl
that I liked
500
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:58,196
isn't turned into
another Eric Cartman!
501
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,698
These Canadians are
in the way of that world
502
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,367
and everything they do
and everything they have done
503
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,603
needs to be erased
from the Earth!
504
00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:08,973
Geez, I got a little chub.
505
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:11,709
[ Children screaming ]
506
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,679
Let's go!
Everyone to the gymnasium now!
507
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:16,647
You heard her!
Move it people!
508
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:19,617
[ Screaming continues ]
509
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,319
I have to make sure all
the classrooms are empty.
510
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,954
You go take cover
with the kids!
511
00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:24,422
I'm coming, too!
512
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,557
I'm your Vice Principal!
513
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,359
All right, come on!
514
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:31,862
Oh, no.
What's wrong?
515
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:34,265
Vice Principal Woman,
I need to ask you something.
516
00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:36,367
Okay.
This is very difficult,
but, uh...
517
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:37,868
What? What?!
518
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:38,936
[ Clears throat]
Well, as you can see,
519
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,504
there is a door
in front of us.
520
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:41,806
Yes, there is.
521
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:45,443
I would like to open this door for you,
however I understand the gender-based biases
522
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,311
that this could imply.
Why do you need to
open the door?
523
00:20:47,313 --> 00:20:48,746
I don't need to open
the door.
524
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:52,016
I'd just be opening it and holding it the same way I
would for counselor Mackey, a student, or anyone else.
525
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,551
Somebody's going to have
to open the door,
526
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:58,422
or we could die out here.
527
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:03,928
♪♪
528
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:09,734
♪ With a little love
and some tenderness ♪
529
00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:13,504
♪ We'll rise above the mess ♪
530
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:19,377
♪ With a little peace,
and some harmony ♪
531
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:20,645
♪ We'll take the world
together ♪
532
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,013
[ Missile whistling ]
533
00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:25,916
♪ We'll take 'em by the hand ♪
534
00:21:25,918 --> 00:21:31,622
♪ 'Cause I've got
a hand for you ♪
535
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:35,593
♪ 'Cause I wanna run with you ♪
536
00:21:35,595 --> 00:21:38,296
♪ Yesterday ♪
537
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:41,899
♪ I saw you standing there ♪
538
00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:44,735
♪ Your head was down,
your eyes were red ♪
539
00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:46,470
♪ No comb had touched
your hair ♪
540
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:54,745
♪ I said get up,
and let me see you smile ♪
541
00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:57,648
Cartman: May I haveyour attention please?
542
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,083
Mrs. Broflovski,your tampons are
availableat the front desk.
543
00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:01,886
Mrs. Broflovski,your tampons
544
00:22:01,888 --> 00:22:03,454
are availableat the front desk.
545
00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:04,789
Thank you.[ Laughs ]
546
00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:06,724
[ Laughter ]
547
00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:09,660
Heidi: [ Laughs ] Come on.We gotta get outta here!
41075
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