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1
00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:17,449
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:19,385
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:21,253
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:24,223
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,691
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:28,060
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:30,696
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:34,333
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
9
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:38,137
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:48,547
[ Cellphone ringing ]
11
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,351
[ Sighs ]
12
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:53,619
[ Cellphone beeps ]
13
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,320
Yes, Eric?
14
00:00:55,322 --> 00:01:00,125
[ Sobbing ]
15
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:04,329
Eric,
this isn't working.
16
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:06,665
Heidi, no, please!
17
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:09,368
Heidi, Heidi,
I would be nothing without you.
18
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:10,769
Okay?
I'm sorry.
19
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:12,371
Okay?
Please!
20
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:13,705
You called me a whore
21
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,607
and pushed me
in front of a car.
22
00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:17,476
Heidi,
I was in a bad mood.
23
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,812
I told you -- that's
what happens after I eat.
24
00:01:19,814 --> 00:01:21,480
My blood sugar spikes,
25
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:23,082
and I get all anxious
and then I crash --
26
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,817
Eric, you can't just
keep being mean to me
27
00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:26,652
and blaming it
on your blood sugar.
28
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,153
But it--
But it's true, Heidi!
29
00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:29,254
It's all my mom's fault.
30
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:30,656
She feeds me
all this crap,
31
00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:31,790
and my body doesn't know
how to process it.
32
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:32,758
Mom!
33
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,159
Mom!
34
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,727
Yes, hon?
35
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:38,530
You fucked up my life, Mom!
Fuck you!
36
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,265
How could you feed me
like that, you bitch?!
37
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,733
Get outta here!
38
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,669
Eric, if blood sugar
is really the problem,
39
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:46,772
then you need to change
how you eat, right?
40
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,408
Right. Like, what'd ya --
what'd ya mean?
41
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,110
Eric, every time
I've talked to you
42
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,744
about maybe being a vegan
with me,
43
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,513
you just tell me
vegans are pussies,
44
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,715
but then you try and blame
food and your mom for --
45
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,784
It is the food
and it is my mom, Heidi!
46
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,452
It is!
I wanna be vegan with you!
47
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,688
I need your help to show me how.
Please, Heidi.
48
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:04,223
I need you right now,
more than ever.
49
00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:05,390
I want to do this.
Please.
50
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,126
You really mean it?
51
00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:08,861
Yes, Heidi!
That's how much I love you.
52
00:02:08,863 --> 00:02:10,429
I'm vegan from now on.
53
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,697
All right, Eric.
54
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:14,199
We'll see how
this goes, okay?
55
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:15,300
I'll see you tomorrow.
56
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,302
Okay.
Okay, bye, honey.
57
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,370
[ Cellphone beeps ]
58
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,873
♪♪
59
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:24,443
[ Indistinct conversations ]
60
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,311
That dirty whore!
61
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,779
Who does that bitch
think she is?!
62
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:30,449
Packing my lunch for me?
Fuck her, dude!
63
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,317
Pissed off at your girlfriend
again, huh, Eric?
64
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,752
She's not
a girlfriend.
65
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,888
She's a controlling,
manipulative whore!
66
00:02:35,890 --> 00:02:37,623
That's enough,
Cartman.
67
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,391
I am so sick
of hearing you
68
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:40,692
call Heidi
horrible things!
69
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,427
That's because
you don't understand
70
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,163
how much it sucks
to be in a relationship.
71
00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,397
Hey, babe.
72
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,598
Oh, hey, babe.
What's going on?
73
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,467
What are you up to?
74
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:51,436
Nothing, just telling the guys
how awesome it is to be vegan.
75
00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,572
That's great.
You wanna come eat with me?
76
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:54,907
I can explain
what I packed.
77
00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:58,410
Yeah, sure.
That sounds awesome.
78
00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,945
I don't get it.
79
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,813
I just really
don't get it.
80
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,549
How is she still
supporting him?
81
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:04,917
She loves him,
I guess.
82
00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:06,418
But he clearly
sucks.
83
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:07,653
She has to know
he sucks.
84
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:08,787
What the hell
is going on?
85
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,589
Well, it's not
our problem.
86
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:11,957
It is our problem.
87
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,593
This is affecting us --
our whole school.
88
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:17,729
There's got to be a reason
she sticks by him.
89
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,265
[ School bell rings ]
90
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,668
[ Cheering ]
91
00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:26,271
Oh, Heidi.
92
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:27,506
Heidi,
you got a sec?
93
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,474
Oh, hey, Kyle.
Hey.
94
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,210
Uh, listen, uh --
95
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:33,278
I-I know you and Cartman
have an anniversary coming up,
96
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,813
and I was just wondering,
you know,
97
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,215
how do you think
he's doing?
98
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,316
As a boyfriend?
99
00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:38,884
Well,
what do you mean?
100
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,453
Well, you know, like,
some of us are thinking that,
101
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:44,323
uh, maybe he's not super
qualified to be with you.
102
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,891
Oh, God.
Not you, too.
103
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,460
Just, like, what are
the things about Cartman
104
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:51,230
that you find...
remotely redeeming?
105
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,498
Look, don't you think I get it
enough from my girlfriends?
106
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,667
"He sucks, Heidi.
What's wrong with you?
107
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,336
Why can't you admit
he's a loser?
108
00:03:57,338 --> 00:03:59,304
How could anyone
ever go with him?"
109
00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:01,006
I was just
following my heart.
110
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:02,574
Isn't that what
you're supposed to do?
111
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,842
You don't have
to get defensive.
112
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,244
I just --
Who's being defensive?!
113
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,678
He's great!
We're doing great!
114
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,680
I didn't make
a bad decision.
115
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:11,850
I don't need you to stand there
and say, "I told you so."
116
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:12,985
I didn't say,
"I told you" --
117
00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:14,820
You know, you don't know
what Eric's like
118
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,788
when we're alone,
okay?
119
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,758
He's actually
really good to me.
120
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,561
Wow.
121
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:28,267
[ Knocking on door ]
122
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:29,735
Heidi!
123
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,436
Oh, my God.
You're not gonna believe this.
124
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,038
What?
You were so right...
125
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,273
[ Door closes ]
...when you said there were
126
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:35,674
vegan options
for everything.
127
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,776
Remember how you told me
about Beyond Meat?
128
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,011
Yeah, the vegan meat
that's made
129
00:04:39,013 --> 00:04:40,779
with all vegetables
and plants.
130
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:41,980
Well, I tried it,
and you were right.
131
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,448
You can't even
tell the difference
132
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,716
between that
and real meat.
133
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:48,287
Really?
That's great, babe.
So now I've been trying all kinds of vegan foods.
134
00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,722
You gotta try this.
It's called Beyond KFC.
135
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,058
Oh, wow.
It's all plant-based.
136
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,493
Soy protein, and just --
Y-You gotta taste this.
137
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:55,827
Just try it.
138
00:04:57,597 --> 00:04:59,765
It tastes just like KFC.
139
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:02,634
I know, right?!
Isn't that crazy?
140
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,969
Like -- Like, seriously,
how could you even tell that this was vegan?
141
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:07,873
Try the -- try the Beyond
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy too.
142
00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:09,508
They say you can even drink
the Beyond Gravy by itself
143
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,676
as like a protein boost.
144
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:13,945
I don't know about you,
but I could eat this every day.
145
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,450
Yeah, it's really good.
146
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:19,685
Delicious.
147
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,754
[ School bell rings ]
148
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,823
Guys, listen.
149
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,825
I think I know why
Heidi won't admit
150
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:27,959
Cartman's
a horrible boyfriend.
151
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,728
Dude, are you
still on this?
152
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,563
Yeah!
It's important!
153
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,098
Maybe she's telling
the truth, Kyle.
154
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,100
Maybe Eric really does
love and support her
155
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,535
in ways
that we don't see.
156
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:37,969
You guys!
You guys!
157
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,938
Have you seen Heidi?
No.
158
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,341
Well, uh, we've been trying
some different foods lately,
159
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:45,077
and, uh, Heidi's put on
some pounds, you guys.
160
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,912
Heidi's
getting fat?
161
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,513
Yeah, Token,
don't start ripping on me
162
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,948
for having a fat girlfriend,
all right?
163
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,483
Just try
and be cool about it.
164
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:52,951
Hey, babe.
165
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:55,487
Oh, hey, hey, hey, Heidi.
What's going on?
166
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,524
I-I'm not feeling
the best again.
167
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,960
I might see if my mom
can come pick me up.
168
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,962
Pick you up?
That could be tough.
169
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:07,099
I -- I know,
but I just feel bloated.
170
00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:08,934
I think there might
have been something bad
171
00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,702
in that Beyond Arby's.
172
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,770
Yeah,
well, cool babe.
173
00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,438
Maybe you should, uh,
174
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,006
just waddle on down
to the nurse's office.
175
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,541
Can you come with?
176
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:17,909
Oh, sure.
177
00:06:19,645 --> 00:06:20,946
We have to help
that girl.
178
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,848
Can't you see
what's happening?
179
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:25,016
Kyle,
it's none of our business.
180
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,518
You're wrong.
181
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,754
In a way...
182
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:32,124
I think we're all going out
with Cartman right now.
183
00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:33,892
Uh-huh.
184
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,627
Yeah, I understand that,
faggot.
185
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:37,996
And you should understand
how my balls are gonna taste
186
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,965
when your country
starts needing money.
187
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,666
I don't give two shits
about a treaty.
188
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:42,701
You're a Polish midget.
189
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:43,869
[ Knock on door ]
Come in.
190
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,739
Uh-huh. Hang -- Hang on.
I'm gonna call you back.
191
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,541
Yeah, go fuck yourself,
retard.
192
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:50,809
[ Receiver clicks ]
193
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,878
Mr. President,
we have a problem.
194
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,513
People are
pretty upset.
195
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,681
Oh, don't tell me
people are still mad
196
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,150
about that nigger thing.
197
00:06:58,152 --> 00:07:01,820
It's pronounced "Niger,"
Mr. President.
198
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,655
And it's a country
in Africa.
199
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,557
Ooh, aren't we fancy.
200
00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,959
Okay, I don't want
a bunch "Nigers" in Africa
201
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,194
aiding terrorists.
202
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:10,729
Mr. President,
203
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,063
you need to be
a little more careful.
204
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,865
There's
an investigation.
205
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,600
A worker
with ties to Russia
206
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,170
was found
raped and executed.
207
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:20,539
Raped and executed?
208
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:21,673
Oh, you mean
fucked to death?
209
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,141
Oh, yeah, that was me.
210
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,677
Mr. President, people
are starting to question
211
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:26,878
your oath
to the office!
212
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,713
My oath to the office
213
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,049
was that I would fuck
everyone to death, remember?
214
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,717
Ooh, I 'member!
215
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:34,186
-Me, too. I 'member!
-I 'member that.
216
00:07:34,188 --> 00:07:35,921
You guys be quiet.
217
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,456
And you guys
just get out there
218
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,524
and put a positive spin
on this whole thing.
219
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:42,194
How are we supposed to put
a positive spin on it?
220
00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:44,095
It's getting pretty hard
to keep defending you.
221
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,531
Maybe it's time
we put our foot down.
222
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,033
Oooh.
223
00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:49,100
[ Beep, whir ]
224
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:51,603
[ Door closes, locks ]
225
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,772
Hope you brought
some condoms.
226
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:56,174
[ Ball bouncing ]
227
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,657
Hello.
228
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,626
I know things have been
difficult between us lately.
229
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:17,629
I know you think
all boys are sort of pigs,
230
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,531
but just know that
a lot of us boys
231
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:23,134
think girls are amazing
and smart and beautiful.
232
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,070
Not -- Not like
hot beautiful,
233
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,671
I mean like
inside beautiful.
234
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:27,906
I -- I'm not saying
you're hot.
235
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,074
You're not --
You're not hot.
236
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,642
I'm not saying
you're ugly.
237
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,811
It doesn't matter.
You're all hot on the inside.
238
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,946
If we could all just see
inside you, it would be hot.
239
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:35,981
Oh, shit.
240
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,616
What do you want,
Kyle?
241
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:39,017
It's Heidi Turner.
242
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:39,918
You guys shouldn't
criticize her so much
243
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,620
for going with Cartman.
244
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,121
Why not? Eric Cartman
is a horrible person.
245
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,123
I know!
I-I know that, okay?
246
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,925
Trust me, I hate Cartman
as much as any of you.
247
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,094
But just, give her some space,
you know?
248
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,096
You can't keep saying,
"We told you so,"
249
00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,764
because if you make her
feel dumb,
250
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:53,899
she just doubles down
and tries to prove to herself
251
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,033
that it wasn't dumb.
252
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,169
Why do you care?
Do you like Heidi?
253
00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,704
No!
254
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,640
Oh, my God.
He so likes Heidi.
255
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:02,274
Obvi.
256
00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:04,075
No, I don't!
257
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:06,011
Do I?
258
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,181
Hey, Kyle!
259
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:11,683
Hey, I was thinkin' about
what you said --
260
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,184
how we should all help Heidi
break up with Eric?
261
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,887
You're right.
It's our moral obligation.
262
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,690
Yeah, no, we're not
getting involved in that.
263
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:19,791
Oh, we're not?
264
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,226
Yeah, no,
yeah, I, uh --
265
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,261
I think we need
to stay out of it.
266
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,896
Oh.
Okay, then.
267
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:28,800
Cartman, can we talk?
268
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,168
Sure, Kyle.
What's up?
269
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,337
I just -- I hope that
maybe you can realize
270
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,972
what you have with Heidi
271
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,675
and -- and just try
to be good to her, okay?
272
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:38,810
Kyle, let me tell you something
about relationships.
273
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,145
There's always two sides.
Okay?
274
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,147
You compromise,
she compromises.
275
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,848
Sometimes you criticize
each other,
276
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:45,817
but it's all part of trying
to make each other better.
277
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,152
Some day, maybe you'll
have a girlfriend
278
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,186
and you'll understand.
279
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,120
Oh, here she comes.
280
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,291
[ Beating drum ]
Boom-baba, boom-baba!
281
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,826
Clear the hallway,
everyone!
282
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:58,997
Heidi's comin' troo!
Wha--What are you doing, Eric?
283
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,799
I was just practicing marching
bass drum for my buddy Kyle.
284
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,033
It's his favorite.
285
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,234
Oh, okay.
286
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,070
Um, are we still on
for lunch?
287
00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:06,838
You betcha.
Can't wait.
288
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,673
Okay.
See ya.
289
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:11,977
[ Beating drum ]
Boom-baba, boom-baba, boom!
290
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,815
♪♪
291
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,350
Some concern
292
00:10:18,352 --> 00:10:20,719
over the President's competency
again today.
293
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,887
It was during
a Middle East peace conference
294
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:25,357
when the President referred to
the people of Saudi Arabia
295
00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:28,093
as "a bunch
of dirty sand Nigers."
296
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:29,761
Though the comments
seem divisive,
297
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,262
Speaker of the House
Paul Ryan
298
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:34,132
says he's sticking
by his President 100%.
299
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,736
Reporter: Speaker Ryan,
it's the anniversary
300
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:38,937
of the President
being elected.
301
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,939
How do you think
he's doing?
302
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,240
Well,
what do you mean?
303
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,042
He's great.
We're doing great.
304
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,011
A lot of people judge him
and just see the negative.
305
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,013
People don't know how great
the President can be
306
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,748
behind closed doors.
307
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,283
They don't get to see
all his good qualities.
308
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:56,121
Uh-huh. And is that semen
on your black eye?
309
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,056
Oh! No, I-I, uh --
I tripped on a doorknob!
310
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,858
That's just --
That's doorknob cum.
311
00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:12,971
You doing okay,
Heidi?
312
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:16,007
I keep thinking
Eric's going to change.
313
00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:20,945
[ Sighs ]
Heidi...
314
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,313
People like Cartman,
315
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,916
they always make things
someone else's fault.
316
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,686
We all wrongly see ourselves
as the victim sometimes,
317
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:30,321
but Cartman sees himself
as the victim all the time.
318
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,791
He'll always find someone
to blame for his shortcomings,
319
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:35,694
and because of that,
he's never gonna change.
320
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,762
Before we started
going out,
321
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:39,998
I was
in a really bad place.
322
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,201
I felt pushed away
by society.
323
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,103
Then this guy came along
324
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,838
who told me all the things
I wanted to hear,
325
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,708
and I just went
with it.
326
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,409
Does that make me
a bad person?
327
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:52,911
[ Rihanna's "Unfaithful"
playing ]
No, Heidi.
328
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:55,780
Good people make bad decisions
every day.
329
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:58,416
I've been defending him
for so long.
330
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,151
I don't know how
I'm gonna face people
331
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,820
if I finally give up.
332
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,389
♪♪
333
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,357
♪ Story of my life ♪
334
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,093
♪ Searching for the right ♪
335
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:11,362
♪ But it keeps avoiding me ♪
336
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:13,031
♪ Sorrow in my soul ♪
337
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,466
♪ 'Cause it seems that wrong ♪
338
00:12:14,468 --> 00:12:18,203
♪ Really loves my company ♪
339
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:21,840
♪ I don't wanna
do this anymore ♪
340
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:24,976
♪ I don't wanna
be the reason why ♪
341
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:28,146
♪ Every time
I walk out the door ♪
342
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:31,816
♪ I see him die
a little more inside ♪
343
00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:35,019
♪ I don't wanna
hurt him anymore ♪
344
00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:39,190
♪ I don't wanna
take away his life ♪
345
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:44,496
♪ I don't wanna
do this anymore ♪
346
00:12:44,498 --> 00:12:46,197
[ Muffled ]
Please, Heidi!
347
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,098
[ Sobbing ]
348
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,201
♪ Whoa ♪
349
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:53,538
♪ Anymore ♪
350
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:57,142
[ Knocking on door ]
351
00:12:57,144 --> 00:13:00,211
[ Crying ]
352
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:02,380
Hi...
353
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,481
Hi...
354
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:06,050
Hi...Hi...Hi...
355
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:10,388
[ Doorbell rings ]
356
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,892
Hi...Hi...Hi...
357
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,193
What do you want?
358
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:19,097
He-He-He-Heidi broke up with me,
Token.
359
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,199
[ Whimpers ]
360
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,500
So?
361
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,836
I have nothing now, Token.
362
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,205
She was my whole world.
363
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,874
C-Can I just stay here
with you please?
364
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,910
What?! Why?!
You still have a house!
365
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:34,379
I know how you feel now,
Token.
366
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,247
To be pissed of
at the world.
367
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,516
To feel completely screwed over
by society.
368
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:39,918
I totally get it now.
369
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,886
I wanna do what you guys do
370
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:44,255
and go disrespect the flag
and flip cars over and stuff.
371
00:13:46,926 --> 00:13:51,229
[ Doorbell rings ]
372
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,464
Token, pleeeeease.
373
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,300
I'm sorry for everything!
374
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:58,036
I really understand now
how you guys feel.
375
00:13:58,038 --> 00:14:00,271
Please, what time
is your family gonna go
376
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,973
disrespect the flag tonight?
377
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:03,608
I wanna go with.
Get outta here!
378
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,610
What's going on?
Nothing, Mom.
379
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:09,013
Heidi broke up
with meeeee...
380
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,616
Token, he's freezing.
Come on in out of the snow.
381
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:14,252
Thank youuuuu...
382
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,386
No!
383
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,291
Okay, we're safe to talk.
384
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,093
It's not safe!
385
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,995
Nowhere's safe,
don't you understand?
386
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,597
We're all about to
get killed!
387
00:14:25,599 --> 00:14:28,433
Shh! Keep your voices down!
Look at this?
388
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:31,002
What are
all these numbers?
389
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,937
The latest approval ratings.
390
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:35,073
I've been researching
our own independent poll.
391
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:37,475
The president is tanking.
392
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:41,279
These numbers are so low
that we might just have an out.
393
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,648
Well, don't you guys
see what this means?
394
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:45,950
I don't know anything,
I'm just a turtle.
395
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:48,887
It means that the swing voters
are turning against him.
396
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,488
It's those people who matter.
397
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:53,124
Those are the ones who can
finally turn this thing around!
398
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,126
And then we don't have to
get killed!
399
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:57,195
We can't let the president
know about this.
400
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,297
Just let him--
What are you guys talking
about?
401
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:00,665
No, nothing!
402
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:01,966
-Nope!
-Nothing, Mr. President.
403
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,301
Oh, okay...
404
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,136
Just having a little chat
or something?
405
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,038
It's an opinion poll,
Mr. President.
406
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,606
Your numbers are down,
407
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,608
and I wanted to show you
so you could do something!
408
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,443
Oh, you bitch!
409
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,512
I was the one who researched
the poll, Mr. President!
410
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,114
Let me see that...
411
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:19,450
Huh...
Isn't that interesting.
412
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,219
But it's not a problem.
413
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,988
See, I know something
about societal psychology
414
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,990
that you three turd balls
don't.
415
00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:27,525
Everything's gonna be fine.
416
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:31,396
[ Sniffling ]
417
00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:35,633
So...
418
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,001
You guys about done
with the soup?
419
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,636
Don't you like it,
Eric?
420
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,171
Well, yeah, no,
it's great.
421
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,506
It's just -- well,
what time do you guys
422
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,241
usually go out and disrespect
the flag and stuff?
423
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,276
What?
Oh, no...
424
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,211
Don't tell me you guys
already disrespected the flag
425
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:48,646
and flipped over cars today?
Did I miss it?
426
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,348
What the hell
are you talking about?
427
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,250
I told you
not to let him in.
428
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,552
Please, I don't know what to do
with all this anger and hurt!
429
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:57,055
I'm sorry your girlfriend
broke up with you, Eric,
430
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,090
but maybe
you'll get back together.
431
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:02,260
No, no, we've broken up before,
but this time is different.
432
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:04,395
I can tell.
Something's changed with her.
433
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,164
Heidi won't even
answer my phone calls.
434
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:08,166
Heidi?
Turner?
435
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,568
The Turners' daughter?
Yeah...
436
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,570
I thought she was
with that Kyle Broflovski kid.
437
00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:17,575
What?
I saw them at the park today
holding hands.
438
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:20,745
[ Upbeat, whimsical music
plays ]
Kyle.
439
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,081
Kyle?
440
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,283
Kyle!
441
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,352
Kyle, Kyle!
442
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:30,254
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle!
443
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,023
Kyle!
444
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:35,326
♪♪
445
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,261
Kyle...
446
00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:41,366
Kyle!
447
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:44,202
[ Laughing ]
448
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:49,440
♪♪
449
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:54,545
♪♪
450
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,414
Kyle...
451
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:58,082
Yeah. Kyle.
452
00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:03,287
[ School bell rings ]
453
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:09,127
Cartman: Kyle!
454
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:12,397
[ Western music plays ]
455
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,098
I should have known.
456
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,700
You lying snake!
457
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,335
Cartman, I didn't mean
for things to happen
458
00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:18,669
the way they did.
459
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,405
Did it bother you
that I was happy?
460
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:22,540
Is that why you took her
from me, Kyle?!
461
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,208
Cartman, you weren't happy.
Shut up, Kyle.
462
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,743
All you did was bitch about her
all the time!
463
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,078
You're not gonna talk your way
out of this one!
464
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,813
This is the end, Kyle.
465
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,615
It's you or me!
466
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:32,683
Come on, Cartman, I-
You took everything from me!
467
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:34,218
Stop it.
468
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,254
All you've ever done
is work to ruin my life!
469
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,423
Well, now I'm gonna
finally fight back!
470
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,058
Fuck him up, Eric!
471
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,092
Aah!
[ Grunts ]
472
00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:43,561
Fuck you, Kyle.
473
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,296
I'm sorry, Cartman.
474
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:48,332
You just have to accept
that Heidi's moved on.
475
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,571
[ Girls giggling ]
476
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,174
Guys, I just wanna say
here's to Heidi!
477
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:58,309
Welcome back
to the land of the living!
478
00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,111
[ Cheering ]
To Heidi!
479
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,513
[ Chuckles ] Thanks, guys!
Thanks for taking me out.
480
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,148
This is really fun!
-No worries!
481
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,217
We're just glad you
finally came to your senses!
482
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,785
Yeah! No kidding!
483
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,420
We seriously thought you might
marry that piece of shit!
484
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,355
[ Laughter ]
485
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:14,625
Well, you know he -- he actually
had some good qualities too.
486
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,461
Uhh, yeah, like what?
Racism?
487
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:18,229
Or the sociopath part?
488
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:20,665
[ Laughter ]
489
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,366
Yeah, I mean,
no offense, Heidi,
490
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,168
But what the fuck
were you thinking?!
491
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:25,570
Guys, she's admitted
she made a mistake.
492
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,505
You make a mistake
on your homework.
493
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,740
What Heidi did was more like
a momentary loss of all sanity.
494
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:32,410
[ Laughter ]
495
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:35,113
It was just
what I believed in.
496
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,614
Don't worry, Heidi,
497
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,849
we're not gonna keep telling you
we told you so!
498
00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:40,418
But we told you so!
[ Laughter ]
499
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,320
The only thing
I wanna know is
500
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,522
How did you bring yourself
to actually kiss him?
501
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,491
Girls: Ew!
502
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,826
Milly: Can you imagine? Eric
Cartman's breath on your mouth?
503
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:51,162
-Ew!
-Ugh!
504
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,497
[ Imitating Cartman ]
Heidi, come here.
505
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:53,865
I want to kiss you
with my tongue!
506
00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:56,300
-Ew!
-[ Laughs ]
507
00:18:56,302 --> 00:19:00,138
[ Sad music plays ]
508
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:05,810
♪♪
509
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,378
Hi, Eric.
510
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,213
What are you doing here?
511
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:12,150
I don't know.
I think I...
512
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:14,152
I just wanna make sure...
513
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,686
you're doing okay.
514
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:18,723
I want you to know...
I'll always care about you.
515
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,525
[ Sniffles ] That's good to know
'cause, like,
516
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,160
nothing helps more
when you're down
517
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:23,394
than knowing that your
girlfriend who broke up with you
518
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,596
might care.
519
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,498
I'm sorry
that I've hurt you.
520
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,635
I think maybe I am just stupid
and I don't know what I want,
521
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,570
and it ends up
hurting people.
522
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,739
No...
523
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:37,575
You need to know something,
Heidi...
524
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:39,443
None of this
is your fault.
525
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:40,811
But I'm the one who--
No.
526
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:44,549
Heidi,
none of this is your fault.
527
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,584
There's stuff
I never told you.
528
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,386
It's time...
529
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:49,487
It's time I did.
530
00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:57,895
[ Doorbell rings ]
531
00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:07,538
Hey.
Hey!
You all set to go?
532
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,907
I wanted to talk to you
first.
533
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,909
Okay, sure.
534
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:15,313
Kyle, I've been under
a lot of stress lately,
535
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:18,282
and it was all making me
really confused.
536
00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:20,318
Yeah,
that's understandable.
537
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,387
I was being manipulated,
and I didn't even see it.
538
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,256
I never do.
And...
539
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:27,258
I don't think you saw it either,
Kyle.
540
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,793
What do you mean?
541
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:31,729
I've come to realize that
it's not my fault,
542
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,598
it's your fault, Kyle.
543
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,600
You made all this happen.
544
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,702
Made me question who I was --
But, Heidi, I thought--
545
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:40,805
Shh. But it's okay.
You can't help it.
546
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,507
It's how you were raised...
what you were taught.
547
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:46,310
My heritage is Irish,
so I'm prone to being moody.
548
00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:49,580
And you're heritage...
well, you know...
549
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,449
You can be a little sneaky
sometimes
550
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:52,984
and not even realize it.
551
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,922
I'm sorry, Kyle, but...
552
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,258
everybody's trying to live life
the best they can.
553
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,826
It's hard enough
554
00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:03,661
without your people
always trying to get ahead.
555
00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:08,666
Dude...
556
00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,401
did she just call me
a dirty Jew?
557
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:23,514
♪ Happy anniversary to you... ♪
Cha, cha, cha.
558
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:26,951
♪ Happy anniversary to you... ♪
Cha, cha, cha.
559
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:30,521
♪ Happy anniversary,
Mr. President... ♪
560
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:34,725
♪ Happy anniversary to you ♪
561
00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:37,295
[ Applause ]
Congratulations,
Mr. President.
562
00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:40,464
Looks like many more years
of the same are to come.
563
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,668
Oh, I don't think so...
564
00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:46,704
I think the next three years
are going to be even better.
565
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,005
[ Laughs ]
566
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:50,841
[ Nervous laughter ]
567
00:21:54,946 --> 00:21:57,682
This is the end, Kyle.
It's you or me!
568
00:21:57,684 --> 00:21:59,684
Come on, Cartman, I--
You took everything from me!
569
00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:01,419
Stop it.
570
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,554
All you've ever done
is work to ruin my life!
571
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:05,456
Well, now I'm gonna
finally fight back!
572
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:08,025
-Fuck him up, Eric!
-Aah! [ Grunts ]
573
00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:09,527
Fuck you, Kyle.
40957
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