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1
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- right now,
The galaxy is being saved
2
00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:10,709
By heroes.
3
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,165
- (growling)
4
00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:49,350
- "Bonafide heroes" is
Holo-recorded on location
5
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:52,419
With the men and women
Of the galactic proctectorate.
6
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:53,888
Good evening.
7
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:57,090
I'm ruggedly handsome
Veteran screen action hero
8
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:58,359
Kirk manlord.
9
00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:02,629
Welcome to another edition
Of "Bonafide heroes."
10
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,031
Tonight we profile
11
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:07,634
Galactic protectorate captain
Duck dodgers,
12
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,036
A bonafide hero.
13
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:12,606
It's an uncompromising,
Unpredictable ride,
14
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:17,377
Just like my new movie,
"Manbeast ragewar iv,"
15
00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,646
Opening this friday.
16
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,749
As our cameras
Invade his privacy,
17
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,284
We'll meet
His most trusted friends,
18
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:25,819
His most hated foes,
19
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:28,889
And several less significant
Figures in his life.
20
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:32,325
Finally, captain dodgers himself
Will tell us,
21
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:33,694
In his own words,
22
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:37,898
What it means to be
A bonafide hero.
23
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:42,965
Like me, in my new movie,
"Manbeast ragewar iv."
24
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,821
- (snoring)
25
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,646
- ha ha ha! Ha ha...
26
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:02,823
Ha ha ha! Ha...
27
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:05,659
Ha ha ha!
28
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,628
Ha...
29
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:12,694
Wake up!
You are lazy and worthless!
30
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:18,500
Ha ha! And powerless to stop me!
31
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:23,710
You think I go away?
But I'm still here!
32
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:26,647
Ha ha!
33
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:29,483
You want peace and quiet?
34
00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:34,054
Too bad! Ha ha...
35
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:37,424
I'll never let you sleep again.
36
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:42,362
Ha ha!
37
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:46,934
Not broken. Ha ha ha ha!
38
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,551
Ha, ha, ha ha ha!
39
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,375
- captain dodgers
40
00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,610
Isn't really an early bird.
And he's not
41
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:57,611
A night owl, either.
42
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,847
Morning, noon, afternoon,
43
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,281
And evening are all bad.
44
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,716
He's ok at dusk.
45
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,786
Sometimes.
46
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,420
- can I ask you something,
Cadet?
47
00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:08,822
- yes, sir?
48
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,891
- why is there a camera crew
In our kitchen?
49
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,059
- that's the "Bonafide heroes"
Crew.
50
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,061
- what?
51
00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:16,197
- "Bonafide heroes."
The tv show.
52
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:19,066
- I can't hear you.
Why are you whispering?
53
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,901
- they're from
"Bonafide heroes."
54
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,003
- what's that? A charity?
55
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,206
I'm not falling
For that again!
56
00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:27,641
Unless they promise
To make me immortal.
57
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,176
- no, it's a tv show.
58
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,411
They're here
To follow you around,
59
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:32,412
Remember?
60
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,848
- ok.
61
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:37,551
So what's with the camera?
62
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,954
- it's a tv show!
63
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,722
- why are you here?
64
00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:43,458
- dodgers is hands-down
65
00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:45,793
The worst listener
Who has ever lived.
66
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,361
You'll have
A conversation with him,
67
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:49,863
And moments later,
He won't recall a single word.
68
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,899
It's uncanny.
69
00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:54,735
Sweet mother! Run!!
70
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,752
- (screaming)
71
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,378
- perfect.
72
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,648
Ok, I'm ready.
73
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:10,617
And...Action!
74
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:11,952
That means, "Start rolling."
75
00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:15,289
- they're already rolling,
Captain.
76
00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:19,526
- right,
Because I said, "Action!"
77
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:20,594
Amateurs.
78
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,196
- I'm still in the room,
Captain.
79
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:24,064
- he may look, talk, and eat
80
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:25,565
Like an utter buffoon,
81
00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:26,867
But make no mistake,
82
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,203
Dodgers is a genius.
83
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,871
Perhaps the only thing
Dodgers possesses
84
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,572
In greater abundance
Than brilliance
85
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:35,342
Is bravery.
86
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:36,711
- so...
87
00:04:36,778 --> 00:04:39,980
What life-threatening missions
Are on our agenda today,
88
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,649
My eager young space cadet?
89
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:45,286
- why are you talking like that?
90
00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:49,190
- ha ha ha!
A fine joke, young chum.
91
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:52,960
Even heroes like to laugh
Now and...Ha ha!...Then.
92
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:54,695
- actually, it's a slow day.
93
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,897
- a slow day in space?
94
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,498
Nonsense!
95
00:04:58,565 --> 00:04:59,600
- uh, yeah.
96
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,702
Anyway, we're on patrol
Until further notice.
97
00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:05,806
- very well. On my mark, patrol!
98
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,107
- we're already doing that.
99
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:11,412
- right,
Because I said, "Patrol!"
100
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:16,016
Anything unusual on our flashing
Thingies that scan stuff, cadet?
101
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,451
- you mean the scanners? No.
102
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:19,452
- now?
103
00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:20,754
- afraid not, sir.
104
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:21,755
- how about...
105
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,158
- all clear, captain.
106
00:05:24,225 --> 00:05:28,862
- good! That means
We're doing our job
107
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:32,066
And doing it well.
108
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:36,136
Cadet, isn't it time
For our secret meeting?
109
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:39,006
- uh, well, I...
What secret meeting?
110
00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:41,308
- yes,
What secret meeting indeed.
111
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:43,477
Well-played, cadet. Let's go.
112
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,914
I'm afraid this meeting
Is top secret, gents,
113
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,850
So no cameras allowed.
114
00:05:48,917 --> 00:05:53,386
- oh, sorry. It's a secret...
A secret...A secret...
115
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:54,588
It's classified.
116
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,957
- dodgers, a hero?
117
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,224
(laughs)
118
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:08,469
(hysterical laughter)
119
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:12,072
- what I'm saying is,
My beautiful face and charisma
120
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,641
May not be enough
To carry the show.
121
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,043
We need action.
122
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:18,379
- what do you want to do,
Make up a cris?
123
00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,881
- that's brilliant.
- oy. I wasn't serious.
124
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,249
- who cares? We're doing it.
125
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:24,017
And they'll never
Know the difference.
126
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:26,287
Oh, wait,
Who's that invisible guy
127
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:28,789
Who just escaped from prison?
128
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,090
- how do you know about that?
129
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,792
- hey, you can't
Miss everything,
130
00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:33,360
No matter how hard you try.
131
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:34,962
- they call him, "Camoman."
132
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:35,963
- "Camelman"?
133
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,932
- no, "Camo," as in camouflage.
134
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,767
- does he look like a camel?
135
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:44,138
- no, it's camo. C-a-m-o.
136
00:06:44,205 --> 00:06:45,473
And he's not invisible,
137
00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:47,674
He just blends
Into his surroundings.
138
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:48,976
Like a chameleon.
139
00:06:49,043 --> 00:06:50,244
- so why not call him,
"The chameleon"?
140
00:06:50,311 --> 00:06:52,313
- because that name's
Already taken.
141
00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:54,081
- by who?
- by the chameleon.
142
00:06:54,148 --> 00:06:55,683
- well, that's our guy.
143
00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:59,686
I mean, if you can't see him,
And we say he's here,
144
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,155
Who's to say he's not?
145
00:07:01,222 --> 00:07:02,757
- anyone
With a functioning brain.
146
00:07:02,824 --> 00:07:07,728
- and if we can get him to
Change his name to "Camelman,"
147
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,230
It'll be perfect!
148
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:12,233
- captain, this is a monumental
Violation of ethics.
149
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:17,299
- ethics? This is tv, cadet.
There are no ethics in tv.
150
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,673
- good point.
151
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:22,376
- hey, it finally worked!
152
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:25,079
Are there
Any unauthorized intruders
153
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,646
On board the ship, cadet?
154
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:27,647
- no.
- cadet!
155
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,616
- (sighs)
156
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,318
I mean, yes, captain,
157
00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:33,787
There is an intruder
On board the ship.
158
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,223
- great scott! An intruder!
159
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,092
Are you picking up
Anything unusual
160
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:41,028
About this
Highly dangerous intruder?
161
00:07:41,095 --> 00:07:43,230
- oh, yes. According
To my magic fairy wand,
162
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:46,166
The intruder is
Invisib...Invisib...
163
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,603
You can see right through him.
164
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,804
- great scott!
Right through him!
165
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:51,972
That is unusual.
166
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:55,409
Why it must be
The invisible camelman!
167
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:58,312
"A crim...A criminal
Who recently escaped
168
00:07:58,379 --> 00:08:01,248
"From the galactic protectorate
Penitentiary,
169
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,750
"And is able to blend
Into his sur...
170
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,386
Surroundings at will."
171
00:08:05,453 --> 00:08:09,356
And where on the ship is this
Mysterious camelman, cadet?
172
00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:12,226
- it's "Camoman,"
And my crystal ball says
173
00:08:12,293 --> 00:08:15,629
He's on the deck
Of lies and deceit.
174
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:19,866
Or the cargo bay.
175
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,302
- the cargo bay!
176
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:24,171
What a fitting setting
For a climactic showdown
177
00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:27,107
With an elusive,
Unstoppable foe, hmm?
178
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,310
- uh, yeah.
Should we go down there,
179
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,478
Or are we pretending
To do that, too?
180
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:32,814
- knock it off!
181
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,916
All right, no, no, no, no.
Don't use that last part.
182
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,617
No, or this.
183
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,353
- (hysterical laughter)
184
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,922
You're killing me!
185
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:45,092
- yes, I'm dodger's archenemy.
186
00:08:45,159 --> 00:08:47,627
But I'm also
So much more than that.
187
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:48,395
For instance,
188
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:50,597
I'm a novice gourmet chef.
189
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:51,432
Did you know that?
190
00:08:51,499 --> 00:08:54,634
And I sculpt clay unicorns.
191
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:59,139
- (snickering)
192
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,109
- but my true passion
Is singing.
193
00:09:02,176 --> 00:09:03,577
Would you like to hear a song?
194
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,812
- let's just say
The commander is to singers
195
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,747
What dodgers is to captains.
196
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,483
They're both appalling.
197
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:13,220
Centurions, on the other hand,
Have wonderful singing voices.
198
00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:15,189
In fact,
We all have the same voice.
199
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:16,624
-don't you agree?
- yes, I do.
200
00:09:16,691 --> 00:09:18,392
- he's very smart.
- and very well-spoken.
201
00:09:18,459 --> 00:09:19,993
- that's why we chose him
To speak for us.
202
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,728
- really, did you?
- I did, too.
203
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,597
- (hysterical laughter)
204
00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:26,266
A hero!
205
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:29,933
Oh, mommy, make it stop!
206
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,140
- we should organize this stuff.
207
00:09:33,207 --> 00:09:35,942
- it is organized.
Don't touch anything.
208
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,045
- there he is. Do you see him?
209
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:41,482
- camoman?
Oh, yeah, I see him.
210
00:09:41,549 --> 00:09:43,016
Yep, there he is, all right.
211
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,919
- stay here. I'll handle him.
212
00:09:44,986 --> 00:09:48,489
Justice is blind, camelman,
But I'm not!
213
00:09:48,556 --> 00:09:51,625
I see you, and you're guilty!
214
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:56,029
- oh, he worked on that line
For an hour.
215
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,231
- hah!
216
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,733
Oof! Unh! Oof! Oh!
217
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,068
Ohh! Oof!
218
00:10:01,135 --> 00:10:05,205
- guess who gets
To clean this up?
219
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,207
- not bad, camelman!
220
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,309
- ow!
221
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,542
- but not good enough!
222
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,659
(crash)
223
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,451
- let's see
How easy it is for you
224
00:10:17,518 --> 00:10:22,518
To turn invisible and escape
From prison this time!
225
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:24,025
- well done, sir.
226
00:10:24,092 --> 00:10:27,461
Maybe camoman has a message
For the viewing public.
227
00:10:27,528 --> 00:10:30,364
- he has the right
To remain silent, cadet.
228
00:10:30,431 --> 00:10:33,300
You're not suggesting I trample
On his rights, are you?
229
00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:35,503
- uh, no,
But here's a suggestion:
230
00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:37,371
Help clean up
This absurd mess you made!
231
00:10:37,438 --> 00:10:40,073
- I can't do everything, cadet.
232
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,011
Doing everything is your job.
233
00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:46,079
- so what are you going to do
For the rest of the show?
234
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,014
- what do you mean?
235
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,215
There's more?!
236
00:10:48,282 --> 00:10:49,784
- heroic stuff.
237
00:10:49,851 --> 00:10:53,387
We'll be right back
With more heroic stuff,
238
00:10:53,454 --> 00:10:56,990
Including a preview
Of "Manbeast ragewar iv,"
239
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,959
After these messages.
240
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:03,697
Stay frosty.
241
00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:06,163
- (men shouting)
242
00:11:13,541 --> 00:11:15,576
- are they men, sire?
243
00:11:15,643 --> 00:11:18,879
- they're not just men,
Mcchirpy.
244
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:21,281
They're manbeasts.
245
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:24,985
- aye! It's going
To be a war, then.
246
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:28,088
- not just a war, old friend.
247
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,424
A ragewar!
248
00:11:30,491 --> 00:11:34,361
Now, go get them!
249
00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:37,865
- by meself?
250
00:11:37,932 --> 00:11:40,401
- welcome back
To "Bonafide heroes."
251
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,003
I'm kirk manlord,
252
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:46,241
And that was a preview
Of "Manbeast ragewar iv."
253
00:11:46,307 --> 00:11:50,177
Here with me is my sidekick
In the movie, mcchirpy.
254
00:11:50,244 --> 00:11:52,513
- actually,
I'm george mcculless,
255
00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:54,749
And I prefer "Co-star."
256
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,183
- glad to have you, mcchirpy.
257
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:59,786
And now we return
To captain duck dodgers,
258
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,355
Bonafide hero.
259
00:12:01,422 --> 00:12:06,326
- my name is george! George!!
260
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,862
- after catching bad guys,
261
00:12:07,929 --> 00:12:10,197
There's nothing
I like to do more
262
00:12:10,264 --> 00:12:12,767
Than unwind with my axe.
263
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:16,002
- dodgers is the worst
Guitar player in existence.
264
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,071
He should be behind bars.
265
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:19,273
He's that bad.
266
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,475
He's a punk. Really.
267
00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:23,310
- yup, just me and my axe.
268
00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:25,446
(sproing)
269
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,047
- uh, yeah.
270
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:30,183
- oh, hello, captain dodgers.
271
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,320
Dr. I.Q. Hi here.
272
00:12:33,387 --> 00:12:35,056
- yeah, we know who you are.
273
00:12:35,123 --> 00:12:39,493
- yes, well, I hear
Congratulations are in order
274
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:42,195
For your capture of camoman.
275
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:45,031
So, congratulations.
276
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,266
- thanks, chief.
277
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,402
Just another day on the job.
278
00:12:48,469 --> 00:12:52,306
- right. So, good job.
279
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,607
- uh-huh.
280
00:12:53,674 --> 00:12:56,710
Was there anything else
You wanted?
281
00:12:56,777 --> 00:13:00,180
- um...Not that I can think of.
282
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:01,881
- ok, bye.
- no, no, wait!
283
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,484
- dodgers, old pal.
284
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:06,020
Kudos on the camoman collar.
285
00:13:06,087 --> 00:13:09,523
Why, it reminds me of the time
That I, star johnson,
286
00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:12,159
Single-handedly netted
An invisi-cougar
287
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,794
Using nothing but a shoelace.
288
00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,796
Oh, yes, tiny though
It might have been,
289
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,564
It was wrapped
Not once, not twice,
290
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:21,068
But thrice around
That animal's neck,
291
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,369
And pi...
292
00:13:22,436 --> 00:13:24,705
- I have no idea who that was.
293
00:13:24,772 --> 00:13:27,074
- sir, we're being hailed again.
294
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,509
- no more calls, cadet.
295
00:13:28,576 --> 00:13:30,745
I can only take
So much praise per day.
296
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:34,114
- but, sir, it's captain soleil.
297
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,116
- aye, aye, captain.
298
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,651
Yeah, captain aurora soleil
299
00:13:37,718 --> 00:13:40,120
And I have quite a history.
300
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:41,121
She had a crush on me
301
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,556
From the day I met her.
302
00:13:42,623 --> 00:13:45,693
- have I ever had a crush
On captain dodgers?
303
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,728
Not that I'm aware of.
304
00:13:47,795 --> 00:13:50,364
- we dated for months...
Years, I mean.
305
00:13:50,431 --> 00:13:52,399
She was obsessed with me.
306
00:13:52,466 --> 00:13:56,169
- go out with him?
You mean, on a date?
307
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:58,572
No! Absolutely not!
308
00:13:58,639 --> 00:14:00,307
Never! Not even once!
309
00:14:00,374 --> 00:14:02,743
No, never!
Ever!
310
00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:04,578
- when she asked me
To marry her,
311
00:14:04,645 --> 00:14:06,147
I had to break it off.
312
00:14:06,214 --> 00:14:10,785
Duck dodgers is a lone wolf,
A free bird, a han solo...
313
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:13,353
- what in blazes
Is going on here?!
314
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,623
What are you doing on my yacht?
315
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:17,925
- marry him? Are you insane?!
316
00:14:17,992 --> 00:14:22,992
Who said that?!
Let me see your notes.
317
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,432
- oh, hello, aurora.
318
00:14:25,499 --> 00:14:26,667
- captain dodgers, are you...
319
00:14:26,734 --> 00:14:28,936
- call me "Shnookums,"
Baby cakes.
320
00:14:29,003 --> 00:14:31,772
- call me "Captain soleil,"
Captain dodgers.
321
00:14:31,839 --> 00:14:34,475
Are you claiming
You've captured camoman?
322
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,377
- claiming, nothing! We got him!
323
00:14:36,444 --> 00:14:39,247
- really? Because I've been
Tracking camoman for weeks,
324
00:14:39,314 --> 00:14:42,150
And my sources suggest
He's still at large.
325
00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:44,051
- sounds like you need
Better sources.
326
00:14:44,118 --> 00:14:46,053
- my sources include
A laser retinal sensor
327
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,589
Placing camoman
On a milky way cruise liner
328
00:14:48,656 --> 00:14:50,357
8 minutes ago.
329
00:14:50,424 --> 00:14:52,526
With 99% certainty.
330
00:14:52,593 --> 00:14:53,928
- sounds thin.
331
00:14:53,995 --> 00:14:57,197
If he really was there,
Why didn't you bag him?
332
00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:59,033
- he disappeared. He does that.
333
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:01,802
- hi, aurora.
You look lovely today.
334
00:15:01,869 --> 00:15:04,404
- thank you, cadet.
So do you.
335
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:05,906
- hee hee hee...Ooh!
336
00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,275
- captain,
I'd like to see camoman.
337
00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:09,543
(crash)
338
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:11,846
- so would I,
But no one can see him.
339
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:14,247
That's his thing, rember?
340
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,216
- you can
If he stands near plaid.
341
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:17,551
He can't mic plaid.
342
00:15:17,618 --> 00:15:20,120
But I'm sure
You already knew that.
343
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,222
- of course.
344
00:15:21,289 --> 00:15:24,057
Cadet, fetch the prisoner
And my kilt.
345
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,860
(imitates static)
346
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:30,926
Oh, no, looks like
Transmission is breaking up!
347
00:15:31,565 --> 00:15:33,567
- no, the transmission is fine.
348
00:15:33,634 --> 00:15:36,203
- call you back. Bye!
349
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,504
- dodgers, don't you dare hit...
350
00:15:37,571 --> 00:15:39,006
- whew.
351
00:15:39,073 --> 00:15:41,074
- sir, we have
An unauthorized intruder
352
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,477
In the evaporation room.
353
00:15:43,544 --> 00:15:44,745
- a real one?
354
00:15:44,812 --> 00:15:47,414
Uh, I mean, another one?
355
00:15:47,481 --> 00:15:48,749
On screen!
356
00:15:48,816 --> 00:15:51,184
- (evil laughter)
357
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:52,486
- sir, it must be...
358
00:15:52,553 --> 00:15:53,987
- a malfunction!
359
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,656
Darn cheap ship.
360
00:15:55,723 --> 00:15:57,091
Oh, uh, cadet?
361
00:15:57,158 --> 00:15:59,526
- time for another
Secret meeting?
362
00:15:59,593 --> 00:16:00,594
- you got it.
363
00:16:00,661 --> 00:16:01,695
- I don't know a duck dodgers.
364
00:16:01,762 --> 00:16:03,464
- wrong!
- of course!
365
00:16:03,531 --> 00:16:06,199
I've been best friends
With duck dodgers since birth!
366
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:07,601
- no!
367
00:16:07,668 --> 00:16:10,504
- psst! Did you know
That opening your own tollbooth
368
00:16:10,571 --> 00:16:12,506
On a public road is illegal?
369
00:16:12,573 --> 00:16:14,140
Isn't that weird?
370
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,077
- no!!
371
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,111
- hi, officer.
You look great in blue.
372
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,447
Can I wear your badge?
373
00:16:19,514 --> 00:16:23,450
- sir, camoman is on the ship.
We have to catch him.
374
00:16:23,517 --> 00:16:25,485
- no, we already caught him.
375
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,154
- we caught
The pretend camoman.
376
00:16:27,221 --> 00:16:29,357
I'm talking about
The real camoman.
377
00:16:29,424 --> 00:16:32,293
- cadet, as far as
Those cameras are concerned,
378
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:36,263
The pretend camelman
Is the real camelman.
379
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,200
- camoman!
Camoman!!
380
00:16:39,267 --> 00:16:41,269
- whatever.
We committed to a story line.
381
00:16:41,336 --> 00:16:44,404
We can't change it now.
It's unprofessional.
382
00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:45,973
- harboring
An escaped felon isn't?
383
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:50,845
- no. Besides, if we ignore him,
I bet he'll just go away.
384
00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:53,981
- so we're pretending
The real criminal isn't here,
385
00:16:54,048 --> 00:16:57,084
Because we pretended a pretend
Criminal was here first?
386
00:16:57,151 --> 00:16:59,187
- didn't follow that, but yes.
387
00:16:59,253 --> 00:17:01,154
- that's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
388
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:03,156
- cadet, it's tv.
389
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,392
- you win.
390
00:17:04,459 --> 00:17:07,394
- great. I've got an idea
For our next scene.
391
00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:08,863
Let's hit the gym.
392
00:17:08,929 --> 00:17:11,264
- hit the gym? You?
393
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,266
(muttering)
394
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,371
- (evil laughter)
395
00:17:16,437 --> 00:17:18,906
- I gave up bounty hunting
Because of dodgers.
396
00:17:18,973 --> 00:17:20,908
Actually, dodgers had
Nothing to do with it,
397
00:17:20,975 --> 00:17:25,546
But you're free
To say he did if you want.
398
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:26,647
- unh!
399
00:17:26,714 --> 00:17:28,348
- eat on your own time, frank!
400
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:31,752
- ooh! Ahh! Ohh!
401
00:17:31,819 --> 00:17:33,587
Whew, what a workout!
402
00:17:33,654 --> 00:17:35,323
I really pushed it today.
403
00:17:35,390 --> 00:17:37,624
- yeah, you're pushing it,
All right.
404
00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:41,061
- look at me!
I'm drenched in sweat!
405
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:42,295
- yeah, sweat.
406
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,296
- I said "Sweating"
407
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:44,364
Not "Swimming!"
408
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:46,100
- why don't you do it then?
409
00:17:46,167 --> 00:17:48,435
- yeah, got to keep myself
In shape
410
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:51,572
To take down scum like camo guy.
411
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:53,107
Not that he was a challenge.
412
00:17:53,174 --> 00:17:56,343
I eat bad guys like him
For breakfast.
413
00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:58,111
I also eat bacon!
414
00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,146
- uh, captain?
415
00:17:59,213 --> 00:18:02,115
- not now, cadet.
I'm ruminating.
416
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:02,883
- but, sir...
417
00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,552
- later! That's an order!
418
00:18:04,619 --> 00:18:07,688
And put a little more magic
In those fingers, would you?
419
00:18:07,755 --> 00:18:10,591
Honestly, my work is never done.
420
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,093
Much better.
421
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:15,061
You see, the key to leadership
Is yelling.
422
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:16,097
And bacon.
423
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,965
Oh, is it time
For a mirror break?
424
00:18:18,032 --> 00:18:20,233
- no, I want to show you
Something.
425
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,536
It's a surprise.
426
00:18:21,603 --> 00:18:23,971
- cadet, I look at a mirror
Every two minutes.
427
00:18:24,038 --> 00:18:25,973
Nothing I see
Will be a...Surprise?
428
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:30,611
- hi.
- aah!
429
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,679
It's camelman!
430
00:18:32,746 --> 00:18:34,248
I'm startled because he escaped,
431
00:18:34,315 --> 00:18:38,052
Not because I've never
Seen him before in my life.
432
00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:40,154
- good cover, sir.
- thank you.
433
00:18:40,221 --> 00:18:42,322
Man, I've broken
Like 200 of these.
434
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:43,757
I wonder if that's bad.
435
00:18:43,824 --> 00:18:46,294
- dodgers? Yeah, he's ok.
436
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:48,162
You guys want to shoot me
Lifting an engine block
437
00:18:48,229 --> 00:18:50,331
Or running real fast
Or something?
438
00:18:50,398 --> 00:18:53,801
- I don't care if the scanners
Say camoman is down here.
439
00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:55,936
I just cleaned this place up!
440
00:18:56,003 --> 00:18:57,871
Let's wait until he goes
Somewhere else, huh?
441
00:18:57,938 --> 00:18:59,240
- like where, the kitchen?
442
00:18:59,307 --> 00:19:01,575
Name one show where
The climactic showdown
443
00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:02,977
Takes place in a kitchen.
444
00:19:03,043 --> 00:19:06,480
- "Iron chef," every episode.
445
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:07,481
- name two.
446
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,183
- fine, but can this be the last
447
00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:10,918
Climactic showdown
You have today?
448
00:19:10,985 --> 00:19:13,321
- if you play your cards right.
We'll see.
449
00:19:13,387 --> 00:19:15,722
Good thing I saved
These old work suits, huh?
450
00:19:15,789 --> 00:19:17,158
- where did you work,
451
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:19,793
At the small and short man's
Ugly suit store?
452
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:20,861
- yes, why?
453
00:19:20,928 --> 00:19:22,963
- uh, just curious.
454
00:19:23,030 --> 00:19:25,666
- we know you're in here,
Cameoman!
455
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:27,335
- camoman!
456
00:19:27,401 --> 00:19:30,904
- right! So show yourself
Where the camera can see you!
457
00:19:30,971 --> 00:19:34,121
Light them up, cadet!
458
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:37,678
- hey, guys, listen!
459
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,513
Let me explain
What I'm doing here.
460
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:40,747
- ready, cadet?
461
00:19:40,814 --> 00:19:42,883
- all systems plaid, sir.
462
00:19:42,950 --> 00:19:45,352
- no, wait!
The reason I'm here is...
463
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:48,289
(crash)
464
00:19:48,356 --> 00:19:53,356
- give it up, camelman!
You're not going anywhere!
465
00:19:53,894 --> 00:19:55,796
And neither are we!
466
00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:57,898
- fine! The only reason
I'm even here
467
00:19:57,965 --> 00:20:00,334
- is because I want to be on tv.
- what?!
468
00:20:00,401 --> 00:20:03,837
- yeah, I heard they were
Shooting "Bonafide heroes" here.
469
00:20:03,904 --> 00:20:07,507
I love that show!
Kirk manlord rules!
470
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:08,842
- really? That's it?
471
00:20:08,909 --> 00:20:10,878
- I'm an escaped convict.
472
00:20:10,945 --> 00:20:14,148
Why else would I board
A protectorate ship?
473
00:20:14,215 --> 00:20:17,584
- you want to be on tv, huh?
474
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,120
- I'm a sneaky bad guy.
475
00:20:19,186 --> 00:20:21,021
And when I break the law,
476
00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:22,689
I know only one person
477
00:20:22,756 --> 00:20:23,857
Can catch me:
478
00:20:23,924 --> 00:20:25,826
Captain duck dodgers,
479
00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:28,462
The smartest, bravest,
480
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,764
Coolest...Uh...
481
00:20:30,831 --> 00:20:31,799
- hunkiest.
482
00:20:31,865 --> 00:20:35,035
- really? Is that even a word?
483
00:20:35,102 --> 00:20:37,504
...Hunkiest hero anywhere.
484
00:20:37,571 --> 00:20:38,839
How was that? Good?
485
00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:41,708
- solid, babe. That's a wrapper.
486
00:20:41,775 --> 00:20:43,144
- wait, we're still doing
487
00:20:43,210 --> 00:20:45,579
The heroic cooking segment,
Right?
488
00:20:45,646 --> 00:20:46,396
- no.
489
00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:53,854
- inspiring stuff.
490
00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:55,089
On behalf of mcchirpy
491
00:20:55,156 --> 00:20:57,758
And everyone
At "Bonafide heroes,"
492
00:20:57,825 --> 00:20:59,527
I thank you for joing us.
493
00:20:59,594 --> 00:21:04,594
And order you to go see
"Manbeast ragewar iv."
494
00:21:04,798 --> 00:21:05,833
Good night.
495
00:21:05,899 --> 00:21:07,501
- I look like an idiot.
496
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:08,869
- hold on, kirk!
497
00:21:08,936 --> 00:21:11,538
I have a few parting
Thoughts before we go!
498
00:21:11,605 --> 00:21:12,739
- actually, the show's over.
499
00:21:12,806 --> 00:21:14,208
- oh, no, it's not!
500
00:21:14,275 --> 00:21:18,311
This show ain't over
Until I say it's over!
501
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:22,950
Hey!!
502
00:21:23,017 --> 00:21:24,718
- cadet, have you seen my brain?
503
00:21:24,785 --> 00:21:26,787
I can't remember
Where I left it.
504
00:21:26,854 --> 00:21:30,891
You're not rolling yet,
Are you?
505
00:21:30,958 --> 00:21:32,325
- well, as long
As the liquid is blue,
506
00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:33,728
It's harmless.
507
00:21:33,795 --> 00:21:38,795
If it turns red, well,
I will have 5 seconds to live.
508
00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:41,469
♪ I am a pirate king ♪
509
00:21:41,536 --> 00:21:46,536
- ♪ he is the pirate king ♪
510
00:21:56,317 --> 00:21:58,152
- I still love duck dodgers.
511
00:21:58,219 --> 00:22:01,155
But he'll never, ever know.
512
00:22:01,222 --> 00:22:03,772
Is that thing on?
513
00:22:14,602 --> 00:22:17,104
- I can't believe
They made dodgers a captain.
514
00:22:17,171 --> 00:22:19,006
I'd be a better captain
Than him.
515
00:22:19,073 --> 00:22:22,523
I've got my own helmet.
516
00:22:25,145 --> 00:22:26,780
- so whose voice do you do?
517
00:22:26,847 --> 00:22:28,015
- yours.
518
00:22:28,082 --> 00:22:29,917
- well, keep practicing.
519
00:22:29,983 --> 00:22:31,351
How about you, slim?
520
00:22:31,418 --> 00:22:34,387
- (stammering)
521
00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:35,722
Think about it.
522
00:22:35,789 --> 00:22:38,592
Th-th-th-th
Uh, line?
523
00:22:38,658 --> 00:22:41,394
- that's all, folks!
35945
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