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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:10,477 ♪ frozen in a time and space ♪ 2 00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:14,448 ♪ divide ♪ 3 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,483 ♪ but how ♪ 4 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,585 ♪ would the universe ♪ 5 00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:22,223 ♪ survive? ♪ 6 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:27,290 ♪ duck dodgers of the 24th and 1/2 century ♪ 7 00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:35,435 ♪ protecting the powerless ♪ 8 00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:39,040 ♪ and the weak ♪ 9 00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:43,510 ♪ duck dodgers, he's fighting ♪ 10 00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:47,648 ♪ tyranny ♪ 11 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,750 ♪ in the 24th ♪ 12 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:53,867 ♪ and 1/2 century ♪ 13 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:16,343 - this is doctor I.Q. Hi Calling duck dodgers. 14 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,711 Come in, duck dodgers. 15 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:18,812 (snoring) 16 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,046 - dodgers!!! - ahhh! 17 00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:21,081 (crash) 18 00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:22,216 - look at you. 19 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:24,651 Lackadaisical attitude, Atrocious eating habits. 20 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,020 - (burp) 21 00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,988 - questionable health. - what do you mean? 22 00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,657 I'm in the best shape Of my life. 23 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,260 (sloshing) 24 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:35,896 - report to my lab at 7:00 a.M. Sharp tomorrow morning. 25 00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,665 - hmmm, 7:00 Might be tricky for me. 26 00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,434 How about 11:00? 27 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,802 Ish. 28 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,819 7:00 is good. 29 00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:01,655 - dodgers, I can't stop you 30 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,224 From being A washout on your time, 31 00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:05,893 But when you're forced To share a seat it would be nice 32 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,229 If you'd at least attempt To act like an officer. 33 00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:10,064 You know, If I didn't know better, 34 00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:14,201 I'd say you have some doubts About my captaing abilities. 35 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:17,104 - I think you are Completely devoid of merit. 36 00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,772 - it's just too bad You don't have the courage 37 00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,341 To speak your mind. 38 00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:22,510 - you're a danger to yourself And everyone around you! 39 00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:25,679 - why don't you tell me What you really think, johnson? 40 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,348 Or are you too scared? 41 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:30,851 - a disgrace to all Who wear the uniform. 42 00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:32,719 A biological mistake. 43 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,188 - oh, don't try To sweet talk me now. 44 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,158 It's too late. 45 00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:41,061 - the doctor will see you now. 46 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,164 - good morning gentlemen... Dodgers. 47 00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,600 As you may have noticed, I have developed 48 00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:49,069 A biogenetic purification And detoxification system 49 00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:52,072 To filter and eradicate Bodily pollutants 50 00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:55,676 And repair cellular damage. 51 00:02:55,742 --> 00:03:00,392 It extracts Your body's toxins? 52 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,415 Bad go, good stay. 53 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,552 - oh, in that case, hook me up. 54 00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:07,221 I ate a marshmallow And chili fries pizza last night 55 00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:11,291 That for some strange reason Left me queasy. 56 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:12,560 - I must warn you, 57 00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:15,929 So far the purifier Has only been tested on animals, 58 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:20,034 But the animals seem fine. 59 00:03:20,101 --> 00:03:21,869 - I volunteer to be A test subject. 60 00:03:21,936 --> 00:03:23,471 For the protectorate. 61 00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:28,538 - if this thing melts my brain, I get a pay bump, right? 62 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,414 - well? 63 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:37,285 - I feel fantastic! 64 00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,820 Even the knee I injured Playing rocketball in college 65 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:40,821 Feels brand new. 66 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:41,822 - wonderful. 67 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,739 Now, the real test. 68 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,012 - (screaming) 69 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:12,519 - ha ha ha ha! - aha ha ha ha! 70 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,687 (dodgers screaming) 71 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:14,504 - oh. 72 00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:27,434 Uh, dodgers, Maybe you should rest for a bit. 73 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,969 - I can't, sir. 74 00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:30,371 Protecting the galaxy And all of its inhabitants 75 00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:32,640 Is an extraordinary Responsibility. 76 00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:35,109 If every single being Entrusted to my care 77 00:04:35,176 --> 00:04:38,179 Isn't resting easy, how can I? 78 00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:41,748 See you up there, captain. 79 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,483 - who was that? 80 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:46,100 - I have no idea. 81 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:52,559 - sir, you have pecs. 82 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,395 - it's the captain's obligation 83 00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:57,198 To be sound in mind And body, cadet. 84 00:04:57,264 --> 00:05:01,935 - ha ha ha ha ha ha! Good one, sir. 85 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:04,104 I have your schedule for today. 86 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:06,340 You start with a 45-minute nap, 87 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,742 Followed by A 15-minute post-nap nap, 88 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,878 A quick steam, a long steam, 89 00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,947 Nacho break, Post-nacho break nap... 90 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,282 - no more shirking duties. 91 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:18,052 Today we're Going to make a difference. 92 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:23,118 - who are you, seriously? Where's captain dodgers? 93 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:28,195 - hmmmm. 94 00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:29,930 That's an explodicon ship. 95 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,333 Looks like we've got another Explosive smuggler. 96 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,034 Pull up next to them and... 97 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:37,637 - greetings, captain, Looks like you could use a hand. 98 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,139 - actually, no, we can handle... 99 00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,975 - my pleasure. Dodgers out. 100 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,992 - (grumbling) 101 00:05:49,017 --> 00:05:53,020 - I'm afraid I must insist That you return to explodicon 102 00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:55,423 Or face immediate arrest. 103 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:58,692 - for hauling Completely harmless baby food? 104 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:01,609 This is an outrage! 105 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:06,699 (boom) 106 00:06:10,972 --> 00:06:14,507 - let's move along, cadet. There's nothing to see here. 107 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,210 - but, sir, the colors. 108 00:06:16,277 --> 00:06:17,211 - no time to dawdle. 109 00:06:17,278 --> 00:06:21,682 The universe is counting on us. 110 00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:24,585 - as you can see, At any given moment 111 00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:28,623 The probability Of dodgers being asleep is 97%. 112 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,691 -so, basically, we... - greetings. 113 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:33,427 I'm sorry to interrupt Your secret meeting. 114 00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,897 I realize this may be Somewhat unorthodox, 115 00:06:35,964 --> 00:06:39,500 But since you represent The primary threat to earth, 116 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:41,402 I felt it was Only fair to warn you 117 00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:44,238 That I no longer take naps. 118 00:06:44,305 --> 00:06:45,605 Thank you for your time. 119 00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,607 Dodgers out. 120 00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:48,876 - who was that? 121 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,378 - it can't be. 122 00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:52,713 Somehow dodgers Has acquired the perfect body 123 00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:55,182 To match his perfect mind. 124 00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,184 We're doomed. 125 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,852 - I wouldn't say perfect. 126 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:02,589 Chiseled, sure, But not perfect. 127 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,659 Hee hee hee... 128 00:07:04,726 --> 00:07:07,562 - dodgers, I have a very Important mission for you. 129 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:10,364 Ambassadors From felinia and caninus 130 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,666 Are meeting For a historic summit. 131 00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:13,767 - the summit is off. 132 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,536 I brokered a treaty hours ago. 133 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:18,406 - well, I guess that brings us To your next assignment: 134 00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:19,373 Recovering the gem of re... 135 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,641 - sir, it's on your desk. 136 00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,578 I hope you don't mind, 137 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:27,314 But I also handed out missions To the other captains. 138 00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:28,949 - of course I mind! 139 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,285 Handing out missions Is my job. 140 00:07:31,352 --> 00:07:32,620 What am I supposed to do now? 141 00:07:32,687 --> 00:07:35,989 - you could take a nap Like the cadet. 142 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,992 (snoring) 143 00:07:38,059 --> 00:07:41,728 - I called you all here to Discuss the dodgers dilemma. 144 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,130 - why is it a dilemma for you 145 00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:45,232 That you've made Your greatest captain 146 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:49,503 Even greater? 147 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,372 - she means Captain dodgers, sir. 148 00:07:51,439 --> 00:07:53,808 - oh, well, see for yourselves. 149 00:07:53,875 --> 00:07:56,510 - duck dodgers, Galactic protectorate captain 150 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,580 Who thinks oversleeping Is no quacking matter. 151 00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,449 Combating what he calls A laziness epidemic, 152 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:02,917 Dodgers has Vowed to wake 153 00:08:02,984 --> 00:08:06,921 Even the heaviest sleepers In the galaxy at dawn, 154 00:08:06,988 --> 00:08:11,158 No matter where they are Or how tired they may be. 155 00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:14,061 (yawning) 156 00:08:14,128 --> 00:08:15,730 - we'll hear you out. 157 00:08:15,797 --> 00:08:18,566 - the old dodgers may have been Lazy, unreliable, argumentative, 158 00:08:18,633 --> 00:08:20,667 Unappealing, Bad at math, sloppy... 159 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,668 - uh, sir. 160 00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,604 - you get the idea. 161 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,340 One more... He had terrible grooming habits. 162 00:08:26,407 --> 00:08:28,675 This dodgers, however, Is too helpful. 163 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:29,810 - too polite. 164 00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,445 - much too focused. 165 00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,314 - dare I say it? Too well-groomed. 166 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,983 - then it's agreed. 167 00:08:35,049 --> 00:08:38,452 We all prefer the old dodgers, So how do we get him back? 168 00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,488 - the only way To restore dodger's 169 00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:42,689 Undesirable characteristics 170 00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,158 Is to re-toxify him. 171 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,059 But his purification Becomes permanent 172 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,461 After 24 hours. 173 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,230 After 7:00 a.M. Tomorrow Fit and intelligent 174 00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,533 Will be dodgers natural state. 175 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,368 As impossible as that sounds. 176 00:08:54,435 --> 00:08:58,339 - we'll have to operate as one With flawless precision, 177 00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,608 Like a military strike team. 178 00:09:00,675 --> 00:09:03,910 - is there any way You could give me muscles? 179 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,780 Bigger muscles, I mean. 180 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,449 - it's simple, dodgers. 181 00:09:08,516 --> 00:09:11,285 You'll be participating in A cultural exchange with mars. 182 00:09:11,352 --> 00:09:13,721 I'll observe as you, The cadet, and star johnson 183 00:09:13,788 --> 00:09:15,922 Interact with the queen And commander 184 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,525 In a social capacity. 185 00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:20,127 All you have to do is share Your favorite leisure activities 186 00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:21,562 With the others. 187 00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:23,798 Like playing video games, Eating onion rings, 188 00:09:23,865 --> 00:09:26,701 And playing video games While eating onion rings. 189 00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:29,670 - I no longer have any interest In those activities. 190 00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,473 Work permitting, I enjoy reading nonfiction, 191 00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:34,841 Gourmet cuisine, And recreational geometry. 192 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,377 If that interests any of you, 193 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:41,443 You're welcome to join me In the ship's new library. 194 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,268 Oh. 195 00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:02,336 - what are you doing? 196 00:10:02,403 --> 00:10:04,705 - neutralizing the target. 197 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,174 - we were supposed to Make him play video games. 198 00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:11,591 - oh, sorry. Look, he's fine. 199 00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:19,320 - go on amp one. 200 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:23,857 - go on amp two. 201 00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:26,794 (feedback, roaring guitar) 202 00:10:26,861 --> 00:10:31,861 - it's only rock n' roll, But I don't like it. 203 00:10:33,935 --> 00:10:38,935 To enemies, friends, Rivals, and superiors, 204 00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,808 May we work hard, rest never, 205 00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:45,875 And sleep only when required By protectorate code. 206 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:51,218 All this food Is making me hungry. 207 00:10:51,285 --> 00:10:54,522 For training. 208 00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,190 - I'm afraid We now have no choice 209 00:10:56,256 --> 00:11:00,906 But to take More drastic steps. 210 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,466 Oh, ok. 211 00:11:05,533 --> 00:11:06,968 I reconfigured the wind tunnel 212 00:11:07,035 --> 00:11:09,903 To accelerate absorption Of every bodily pollutant 213 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,238 I could find. 214 00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:14,341 Put simply, I put dodgers in a junk tornado. 215 00:11:14,408 --> 00:11:15,442 - is this going to work? 216 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:16,477 - who can say? 217 00:11:16,544 --> 00:11:19,880 Science is an inexact, uh... 218 00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:20,881 Science. 219 00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,716 - well, is it safe? 220 00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:23,551 - safe enough. 221 00:11:23,617 --> 00:11:25,567 - aah! (thud) 222 00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:34,161 - morning, dodgers. How do you feel? 223 00:11:34,228 --> 00:11:36,330 - I could go for some breakfast. 224 00:11:36,397 --> 00:11:37,998 - (cheering) 225 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:42,436 - who's up for onion rings? 226 00:11:42,503 --> 00:11:43,938 Boy, these guys really need 227 00:11:44,005 --> 00:11:46,940 To start taking Better care of themselves. 16083

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