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1
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♪ frozen in a time and space ♪
2
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:14,448
♪ divide ♪
3
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♪ but how ♪
4
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,585
♪ would the universe ♪
5
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:22,223
♪ survive? ♪
6
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♪ duck dodgers of the 24th and 1/2 century ♪
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♪ protecting the powerless ♪
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♪ and the weak ♪
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♪ duck dodgers, he's fighting ♪
10
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♪ tyranny ♪
11
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♪ in the 24th ♪
12
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♪ and 1/2 century ♪
13
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- this is doctor I.Q. Hi
Calling duck dodgers.
14
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,711
Come in, duck dodgers.
15
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:18,812
(snoring)
16
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- dodgers!!!
- ahhh!
17
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(crash)
18
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- look at you.
19
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Lackadaisical attitude,
Atrocious eating habits.
20
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,020
- (burp)
21
00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,988
- questionable health.
- what do you mean?
22
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,657
I'm in the best shape
Of my life.
23
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,260
(sloshing)
24
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:35,896
- report to my lab at 7:00 a.M.
Sharp tomorrow morning.
25
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,665
- hmmm, 7:00
Might be tricky for me.
26
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,434
How about 11:00?
27
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,802
Ish.
28
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,819
7:00 is good.
29
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:01,655
- dodgers, I can't stop you
30
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,224
From being
A washout on your time,
31
00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:05,893
But when you're forced
To share a seat it would be nice
32
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,229
If you'd at least attempt
To act like an officer.
33
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:10,064
You know,
If I didn't know better,
34
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:14,201
I'd say you have some doubts
About my captaing abilities.
35
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:17,104
- I think you are
Completely devoid of merit.
36
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,772
- it's just too bad
You don't have the courage
37
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,341
To speak your mind.
38
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:22,510
- you're a danger to yourself
And everyone around you!
39
00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:25,679
- why don't you tell me
What you really think, johnson?
40
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,348
Or are you too scared?
41
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:30,851
- a disgrace to all
Who wear the uniform.
42
00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:32,719
A biological mistake.
43
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,188
- oh, don't try
To sweet talk me now.
44
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,158
It's too late.
45
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:41,061
- the doctor will see you now.
46
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,164
- good morning gentlemen...
Dodgers.
47
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,600
As you may have noticed,
I have developed
48
00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:49,069
A biogenetic purification
And detoxification system
49
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:52,072
To filter and eradicate
Bodily pollutants
50
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:55,676
And repair cellular damage.
51
00:02:55,742 --> 00:03:00,392
It extracts
Your body's toxins?
52
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,415
Bad go, good stay.
53
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,552
- oh, in that case, hook me up.
54
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:07,221
I ate a marshmallow
And chili fries pizza last night
55
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:11,291
That for some strange reason
Left me queasy.
56
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:12,560
- I must warn you,
57
00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:15,929
So far the purifier
Has only been tested on animals,
58
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:20,034
But the animals seem fine.
59
00:03:20,101 --> 00:03:21,869
- I volunteer to be
A test subject.
60
00:03:21,936 --> 00:03:23,471
For the protectorate.
61
00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:28,538
- if this thing melts my brain,
I get a pay bump, right?
62
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,414
- well?
63
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:37,285
- I feel fantastic!
64
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,820
Even the knee I injured
Playing rocketball in college
65
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:40,821
Feels brand new.
66
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:41,822
- wonderful.
67
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,739
Now, the real test.
68
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,012
- (screaming)
69
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:12,519
- ha ha ha ha!
- aha ha ha ha!
70
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,687
(dodgers screaming)
71
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:14,504
- oh.
72
00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:27,434
Uh, dodgers,
Maybe you should rest for a bit.
73
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,969
- I can't, sir.
74
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:30,371
Protecting the galaxy
And all of its inhabitants
75
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:32,640
Is an extraordinary
Responsibility.
76
00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:35,109
If every single being
Entrusted to my care
77
00:04:35,176 --> 00:04:38,179
Isn't resting easy, how can I?
78
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:41,748
See you up there, captain.
79
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,483
- who was that?
80
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:46,100
- I have no idea.
81
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:52,559
- sir, you have pecs.
82
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,395
- it's the captain's obligation
83
00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:57,198
To be sound in mind
And body, cadet.
84
00:04:57,264 --> 00:05:01,935
- ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Good one, sir.
85
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:04,104
I have your schedule for today.
86
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:06,340
You start with a 45-minute nap,
87
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,742
Followed by
A 15-minute post-nap nap,
88
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,878
A quick steam, a long steam,
89
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,947
Nacho break,
Post-nacho break nap...
90
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,282
- no more shirking duties.
91
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:18,052
Today we're
Going to make a difference.
92
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:23,118
- who are you, seriously?
Where's captain dodgers?
93
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:28,195
- hmmmm.
94
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:29,930
That's an explodicon ship.
95
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,333
Looks like we've got another
Explosive smuggler.
96
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,034
Pull up next to them and...
97
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:37,637
- greetings, captain,
Looks like you could use a hand.
98
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,139
- actually, no, we can handle...
99
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,975
- my pleasure.
Dodgers out.
100
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,992
- (grumbling)
101
00:05:49,017 --> 00:05:53,020
- I'm afraid I must insist
That you return to explodicon
102
00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:55,423
Or face immediate arrest.
103
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:58,692
- for hauling
Completely harmless baby food?
104
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:01,609
This is an outrage!
105
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:06,699
(boom)
106
00:06:10,972 --> 00:06:14,507
- let's move along, cadet.
There's nothing to see here.
107
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,210
- but, sir, the colors.
108
00:06:16,277 --> 00:06:17,211
- no time to dawdle.
109
00:06:17,278 --> 00:06:21,682
The universe is counting on us.
110
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:24,585
- as you can see,
At any given moment
111
00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:28,623
The probability
Of dodgers being asleep is 97%.
112
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,691
-so, basically, we...
- greetings.
113
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:33,427
I'm sorry to interrupt
Your secret meeting.
114
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,897
I realize this may be
Somewhat unorthodox,
115
00:06:35,964 --> 00:06:39,500
But since you represent
The primary threat to earth,
116
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I felt it was
Only fair to warn you
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That I no longer take naps.
118
00:06:44,305 --> 00:06:45,605
Thank you for your time.
119
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,607
Dodgers out.
120
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:48,876
- who was that?
121
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,378
- it can't be.
122
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:52,713
Somehow dodgers
Has acquired the perfect body
123
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To match his perfect mind.
124
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,184
We're doomed.
125
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,852
- I wouldn't say perfect.
126
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:02,589
Chiseled, sure,
But not perfect.
127
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,659
Hee hee hee...
128
00:07:04,726 --> 00:07:07,562
- dodgers, I have a very
Important mission for you.
129
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:10,364
Ambassadors
From felinia and caninus
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Are meeting
For a historic summit.
131
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- the summit is off.
132
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,536
I brokered a treaty hours ago.
133
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:18,406
- well, I guess that brings us
To your next assignment:
134
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:19,373
Recovering the gem of re...
135
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,641
- sir, it's on your desk.
136
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,578
I hope you don't mind,
137
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:27,314
But I also handed out missions
To the other captains.
138
00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:28,949
- of course I mind!
139
00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,285
Handing out missions
Is my job.
140
00:07:31,352 --> 00:07:32,620
What am I supposed to do now?
141
00:07:32,687 --> 00:07:35,989
- you could take a nap
Like the cadet.
142
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,992
(snoring)
143
00:07:38,059 --> 00:07:41,728
- I called you all here to
Discuss the dodgers dilemma.
144
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,130
- why is it a dilemma for you
145
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:45,232
That you've made
Your greatest captain
146
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:49,503
Even greater?
147
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,372
- she means
Captain dodgers, sir.
148
00:07:51,439 --> 00:07:53,808
- oh, well, see for yourselves.
149
00:07:53,875 --> 00:07:56,510
- duck dodgers,
Galactic protectorate captain
150
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,580
Who thinks oversleeping
Is no quacking matter.
151
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,449
Combating what he calls
A laziness epidemic,
152
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:02,917
Dodgers has
Vowed to wake
153
00:08:02,984 --> 00:08:06,921
Even the heaviest sleepers
In the galaxy at dawn,
154
00:08:06,988 --> 00:08:11,158
No matter where they are
Or how tired they may be.
155
00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:14,061
(yawning)
156
00:08:14,128 --> 00:08:15,730
- we'll hear you out.
157
00:08:15,797 --> 00:08:18,566
- the old dodgers may have been
Lazy, unreliable, argumentative,
158
00:08:18,633 --> 00:08:20,667
Unappealing,
Bad at math, sloppy...
159
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,668
- uh, sir.
160
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,604
- you get the idea.
161
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,340
One more...
He had terrible grooming habits.
162
00:08:26,407 --> 00:08:28,675
This dodgers, however,
Is too helpful.
163
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:29,810
- too polite.
164
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,445
- much too focused.
165
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,314
- dare I say it?
Too well-groomed.
166
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,983
- then it's agreed.
167
00:08:35,049 --> 00:08:38,452
We all prefer the old dodgers,
So how do we get him back?
168
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,488
- the only way
To restore dodger's
169
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:42,689
Undesirable characteristics
170
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,158
Is to re-toxify him.
171
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,059
But his purification
Becomes permanent
172
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,461
After 24 hours.
173
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,230
After 7:00 a.M. Tomorrow
Fit and intelligent
174
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,533
Will be dodgers natural state.
175
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,368
As impossible as that sounds.
176
00:08:54,435 --> 00:08:58,339
- we'll have to operate as one
With flawless precision,
177
00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,608
Like a military strike team.
178
00:09:00,675 --> 00:09:03,910
- is there any way
You could give me muscles?
179
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,780
Bigger muscles, I mean.
180
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,449
- it's simple, dodgers.
181
00:09:08,516 --> 00:09:11,285
You'll be participating in
A cultural exchange with mars.
182
00:09:11,352 --> 00:09:13,721
I'll observe as you,
The cadet, and star johnson
183
00:09:13,788 --> 00:09:15,922
Interact with the queen
And commander
184
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,525
In a social capacity.
185
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:20,127
All you have to do is share
Your favorite leisure activities
186
00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:21,562
With the others.
187
00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:23,798
Like playing video games,
Eating onion rings,
188
00:09:23,865 --> 00:09:26,701
And playing video games
While eating onion rings.
189
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:29,670
- I no longer have any interest
In those activities.
190
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,473
Work permitting,
I enjoy reading nonfiction,
191
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:34,841
Gourmet cuisine,
And recreational geometry.
192
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,377
If that interests any of you,
193
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:41,443
You're welcome to join me
In the ship's new library.
194
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,268
Oh.
195
00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:02,336
- what are you doing?
196
00:10:02,403 --> 00:10:04,705
- neutralizing the target.
197
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,174
- we were supposed to
Make him play video games.
198
00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:11,591
- oh, sorry.
Look, he's fine.
199
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:19,320
- go on amp one.
200
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:23,857
- go on amp two.
201
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:26,794
(feedback, roaring guitar)
202
00:10:26,861 --> 00:10:31,861
- it's only rock n' roll,
But I don't like it.
203
00:10:33,935 --> 00:10:38,935
To enemies, friends,
Rivals, and superiors,
204
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,808
May we work hard, rest never,
205
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:45,875
And sleep only when required
By protectorate code.
206
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:51,218
All this food
Is making me hungry.
207
00:10:51,285 --> 00:10:54,522
For training.
208
00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,190
- I'm afraid
We now have no choice
209
00:10:56,256 --> 00:11:00,906
But to take
More drastic steps.
210
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,466
Oh, ok.
211
00:11:05,533 --> 00:11:06,968
I reconfigured the wind tunnel
212
00:11:07,035 --> 00:11:09,903
To accelerate absorption
Of every bodily pollutant
213
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,238
I could find.
214
00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:14,341
Put simply,
I put dodgers in a junk tornado.
215
00:11:14,408 --> 00:11:15,442
- is this going to work?
216
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:16,477
- who can say?
217
00:11:16,544 --> 00:11:19,880
Science is an inexact, uh...
218
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:20,881
Science.
219
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,716
- well, is it safe?
220
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:23,551
- safe enough.
221
00:11:23,617 --> 00:11:25,567
- aah!
(thud)
222
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:34,161
- morning, dodgers.
How do you feel?
223
00:11:34,228 --> 00:11:36,330
- I could go for some breakfast.
224
00:11:36,397 --> 00:11:37,998
- (cheering)
225
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:42,436
- who's up for onion rings?
226
00:11:42,503 --> 00:11:43,938
Boy, these guys really need
227
00:11:44,005 --> 00:11:46,940
To start taking
Better care of themselves.
16083
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