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1
00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:11,179
* frozen in
A time and space divide *
2
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:17,551
* but how would the universe
3
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,621
* survive?
4
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,657
* duck dodgers
5
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,025
* of the 24th
6
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:27,795
* and 1/2 century
7
00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:34,034
* protecting the powerless
8
00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:36,437
* and the weak
9
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,374
* duck dodgers
10
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:44,578
* he's fighting tyranny
11
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,916
* in the 24th
12
00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:54,188
* and 1/2 century
13
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:14,442
Duck dodgers:
This is the universe.
14
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,278
I work here
In the 24th 1/2 century--
15
00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:19,113
That is,
Since I was thawed out
16
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:23,217
After being accidentally frozen
351 years ago.
17
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:26,154
Yep. Duck dodgers.
That's me.
18
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,122
I joined earth's
Galactic protectorate,
19
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,558
And they gave me
My very own crew.
20
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:33,594
Yes, sir. The protectorate
Is a swell outfit.
21
00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:36,497
They protect earth
From martian attacks
22
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:38,866
And do lots
Of other good stuff...
23
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,569
Except for today.
24
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:44,305
Today, they plan
To court-martial me
25
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:45,839
And throw me in jail.
26
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:48,642
[crowd murmuring]
27
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:51,145
Judge: order! Order!
28
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,214
This court will come to order.
29
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:54,482
Who brings the charges
30
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,750
Against this
Protectorate officer?
31
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,018
I do, your honor.
32
00:01:58,085 --> 00:01:59,853
Captain
Star johnson.
33
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,257
I charge
Duck dodgers with
Gross incompetence
34
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:04,992
And the dereliction
Of duty
35
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,027
In fighting
The martians.
36
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,229
[grumbling]
37
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:11,565
I call
Dr. I.Q. Hi
To the stand.
38
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,301
Hey, doc.
Don't forget to mention
39
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,503
My 60 hours
Of community service.
40
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:18,906
You are the chief scientist
For the galactic protectorate,
41
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,375
Are you not?
42
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:24,011
I confess!
I did it! I did it!
43
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,247
Ahem. This trial
Isn't about you.
44
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:29,082
It's about dodgers.
45
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,451
Oh, yes. Of course.
46
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,253
Uh, funny how
A guilty conscience
47
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,721
Plays tricks
On the mind.
48
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:36,924
Can you explain to the court
Your role in this affair?
49
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,959
Well, I guess,
In a way,
50
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:41,662
I'm responsible
For all of this.
51
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,097
Not in any
Criminal respect.
52
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,300
I mean that
I revived dodgers
53
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,202
From a state
Of suspended animation.
54
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:50,871
I was able
To bring him back
Using the science
55
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,706
Of the 24th 1/2 century.
56
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:53,974
Ain't the future great?
57
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:56,310
After that,
I was able to secure
Him an appointment
58
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:59,046
To starship captain
For the protectorate.
59
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:01,081
And what was
Your motive for this?
60
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:03,016
Well,
He's a great asset.
61
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,385
His coming
From the past
62
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,153
Provides us
With a unique
Perspective.
63
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,721
It's pretty
Standard sci-fi
Reasoning.
64
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:11,792
What orders
Did you give dodgers
On june 23 of this year?
65
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:15,829
Dodgers was assigned
The important duty
Of moon patrol.
66
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:18,366
Your honor, as my first
Piece of evidence,
67
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:21,034
I would like to introduce
The holo-projection records
68
00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:22,970
From this incident.
69
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:38,051
Woman: oh, manfred,
Our love just
Cannot be.
70
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,087
Shameless hussy.
71
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:42,055
Uh, captain dodgers.
Yo.
72
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:43,357
Didn't I.Q. Hi
Tell us
73
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:45,025
To be on the lookout
For martians?
74
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:46,894
That he did...
75
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,897
And I don't see
Any martians.
76
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,533
I just figured we
Could be, you know,
77
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,635
Actively scanning space
For enemy ships.
78
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,405
Why don't you
Actively scan
My personal bathroom
79
00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:00,808
For what's giving off
That funky smell?
80
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:01,909
B-b-but, captain.
81
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,110
That'll be all,
Cadet.
82
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,978
I'll give him
A funky smell.
83
00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:06,714
I can hear you.
84
00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,123
Robot centurion,
85
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,257
Is the fleet in position?
86
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:18,592
Yes, commander,
87
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,094
Safely hidden
On the dark side
Of the moon.
88
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,030
Peachy.
89
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:28,802
Centurion: commander,
90
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:31,204
We've detected
A protectorate spacecraft.
91
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,840
What?!
92
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:35,142
[toilet flushes]
93
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:37,611
[panting]
94
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:40,147
What does he do
In that bathroom?
95
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:41,582
Engine noises?
96
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,751
Why, there shouldn't be
Another ship for...
97
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,085
Miles.
98
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,019
[gasp]
99
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,888
Captain dodgers!
100
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,057
[stuttering]
101
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:53,093
Find your center,
Honey-baked.
102
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,162
M-m-martians!
103
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,698
Did you say something
About martians?
104
00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,199
Aah!
105
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:01,101
Prepare for
Emergency evasion.
106
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,703
Fire the overthrusters!
107
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:03,337
Uh, check.
108
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,138
Engage the superdrive.
109
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,073
Superdrive engaged.
110
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,509
Deploy the...
The, um...
111
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:10,143
I think it's
The yellow button.
112
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,279
It's, uh,
Usually flashing.
113
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,482
It makes the engine
Go whoosh!
114
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,854
The enemy ship
Has been identified,
Commander.
115
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,122
It's duck dodgers.
116
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:25,526
Dodgers?!
Vaporize him.
117
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,067
Ooh!
118
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,168
Damage report.
119
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:39,072
I think
I'm gonna be...Ok.
120
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,141
Not you, stupid.
The ship!
121
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,943
Oh. The ship's
Messed up.
122
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,044
[crash]
123
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,549
Whoa!
124
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,788
Cadet, you can hack
Into the earth's
Defensive shield
125
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,090
With this computer
Doohickey, can't you?
126
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,159
That would be
Against reg--reg--
127
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:00,160
That's a no-no.
128
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:01,161
[crash]
129
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,163
I'm on it. We're in.
130
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,798
You're pretty good
At this.
131
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,468
Now slide over
And watch a pro at work.
132
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:10,137
Just a matter of pressing
A few buttons.
133
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,845
Quick! The martians
Are right behind us!
134
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:23,751
And the shield is ready
To be energized...
135
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:24,818
Now!
136
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,693
Uh, you destroyed
The shield.
137
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,896
That means the earth
Is d-d-d-d-doomed!
138
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:38,065
Star johnson:
That brings us
To the next count.
139
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:42,335
Duck dodgers went awol
During a full-scale
Martian attack.
140
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,204
Man: throw him in jail!
141
00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:45,506
The only thing
That spared us
142
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:48,942
Was a freak accident
Onboard the martian ship.
143
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:49,910
I object!
144
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,278
On what grounds?
145
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,546
On the grounds,
Sir,
146
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:54,548
That I am
That freak accident.
147
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,917
What are you
Talking about?
148
00:06:56,984 --> 00:07:00,320
You'll see
When I present
My glorious defense.
149
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:03,557
I call my one and only
Surprise witness,
150
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:06,193
The martian queen.
151
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:13,534
I sure hope dodgers
Knows what he's doing.
152
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,471
I present
Her excellence,
153
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:20,207
The queen of mars!
154
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:24,845
Thank you for honoring
The universal court treaty
Of 2173, your highness.
155
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,847
Please,
Take the witness stand.
156
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,616
It sure looks
Like he knows
What he's doing.
157
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,551
So, my raven-haired
Beauty,
158
00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,520
Please state your name
For the court.
159
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,421
I don't have
Raven hair.
160
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,824
My hair is white
As snow.
161
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:40,227
Don't try and pull any
Of your martian tricks.
162
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,328
Identify yourself!
163
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:43,463
I am the queen of mars.
164
00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,833
Aha. I knew
You looked familiar.
165
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:49,102
You summoned me here,
Captain dodgers.
166
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,671
Why, yes, I did.
167
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:52,840
I sure hope he knows
What he's doing.
168
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:55,442
Your highness,
When I subpoenaed you
169
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:57,878
To testify before
This august body,
170
00:07:57,945 --> 00:08:02,315
I requested a copy
Of the holo-recordings
From your command ship.
171
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:03,316
Have you complied?
172
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:04,484
Yes, I have.
173
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:05,853
Ladies and gentlemen,
174
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,388
What you are about to see
Is a compilation
175
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:10,691
Of protectorate
And martian holo-records
176
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:13,293
That will reveal the truth.
177
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,729
Cast your eyes
On yonder view screen
178
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:18,699
And prepare to be amazed.
179
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:21,869
Th-th-that means
The earth is
D-d-d-d-doomed!
180
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:24,137
Not while
I'm on the job.
181
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:28,108
Let's see.
Maybe we've got some kind
Of special weapon.
182
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,209
What's in the hold?
183
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:33,113
473,000 pounds
Of russet
Idaho potatoes.
184
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:33,981
Potatoes.
185
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:36,617
Uh, yeah. Potatoes.
Ha ha ha!
186
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,919
I guess the earth
Really is doomed.
187
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:42,289
Maybe, but then again,
Maybe not.
188
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,791
Meet me
In the cargo hold
189
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:47,327
And don't forget
Your potato peeler.
190
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,362
Commander,
Earth is defenseless.
191
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,164
Now is our time
To strike.
192
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,132
Excellent.
193
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,533
We'll pummel
Their cities
194
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,703
With our
Antimatter rockets.
195
00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,071
Bring the weapons
On-line.
196
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,674
No. I mean now
Is an excellent time
197
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:03,677
For my robot brothers
And I to go on strike.
198
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:06,647
We haven't had a cost
Of living increase
In years.
199
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,148
First, you destroy
The earth,
200
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:11,585
Then maybe
We'll discuss
Having sundays off.
201
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:14,387
Power to the workers!
202
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:17,090
How's operation spud
Going, cadet?
203
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,292
24,323 pounds down.
204
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:22,930
448,677 pounds to go.
205
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,265
[clanking]
206
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,736
Excellent. Keep peeling.
207
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,373
Target the earth cities.
208
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,208
[beeping]
209
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,245
Earth cities targeted.
210
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,985
I'm closing in
On the martian ship.
211
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,354
Are those potatoes ready, cadet?
212
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,356
L-l-last one.
213
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:53,126
I'm only gonna get
One pass at this.
214
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,328
Cadet: trust your
Feelings, captain.
215
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:59,366
Nah. I'm pretty sure
I'm gonna use this expensive
Targeting computer.
216
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,341
The weapons are ready,
Commander.
217
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,843
On my command.
218
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:13,380
I wish to savor this moment.
219
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,414
Target in range.
220
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:15,983
[beeping]
221
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,384
Fire!
222
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,024
Fire!
223
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,406
Yippee!
224
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,641
Crud.
225
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,112
And there you have it.
226
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,214
Instead of destruction
And mayhem,
227
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,951
Delicious salty snacks
Rained from the heavens,
228
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:53,787
Courtesy of your friendly
Neighborhood duck dodgers.
229
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,655
[crowd murmuring]
230
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:57,290
Order in the court.
231
00:10:57,357 --> 00:11:00,861
This trial is not over
Until I render my decision,
232
00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:03,430
And in the trial
Of duck dodgers,
233
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,365
I find the defendant...
234
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,204
100%...
235
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:12,572
Not guilty.
236
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,307
[cheering]
237
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:18,378
Salty snacks?
238
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:19,880
Why didn't
You tell me
239
00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:22,215
He was such
A tactical genius?
240
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,616
Who knew?
241
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,386
Dodgers, I don't
Know what to say.
242
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:30,157
Maybe you are
A great protectorate
Space captain.
243
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,992
I.Q. Hi:
Dodgers, I just
Got the bill
244
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,061
For the planetwide
Potato chip cleanup.
245
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:37,297
You owe us
48 million trillion
Astro dollars.
246
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:40,667
It looks like
You'll be working
Nights and weekends
247
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:44,071
For the next
350 years.
248
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:48,175
Well, there's nothing
Like job security.
249
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,487
This may be the end.
250
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,022
Sudden death is imminent.
251
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,557
I can't remember
A more dire situation.
252
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,026
Announcer:
Well, this is it.
253
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:06,960
The bottom of the ninth
With two outs
254
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,195
And two men on base.
255
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:11,064
Here's the windup
And the pitch.
256
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,901
Computer:
Receiving urgent s.O.S.
257
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,203
What?! Put it back.
Put it back!
258
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:17,004
[click]
259
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,305
Ha ha ha!
Hey, kids!
260
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,940
Male voice: our world
Has been invaded
261
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,241
By a hostile life form
262
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,877
Intent on destroying
All life on our planet.
263
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,113
Rescue us from
Our terrible predicament.
264
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:29,449
We implore you
To do your duty
As a protectorate--
265
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:31,618
Boy, does he have
The wrong number.
266
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:32,719
What was that?
267
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,454
Just a peanut butter
Commercial.
268
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:37,357
That's funny.
It sounded like
An urgent s.O.S. To me.
269
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:42,062
Well, cadet,
I believe you are
Sadly, sadly mistaken.
270
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,932
Computer:
Receiving urgent s.O.S.
271
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:48,368
Or maybe
I was sadly,
Sadly mistaken.
272
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:58,178
Cadet, I've landed
On the planet's surface.
273
00:12:58,245 --> 00:12:59,379
Do you read me?
274
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,281
Loud and clear, captain.
275
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:03,917
Breathtaking.
276
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:06,219
Yes, sir. A real honey
Of a place.
277
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,520
[splat]
278
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,423
All right. Who forgot
To clean up after fido?
279
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,593
The captain
Stepped in poo again.
Ha ha ha!
280
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,662
Yuck,
And these are new boots.
281
00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,230
There.
282
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,598
Hey, down here.
283
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:20,300
Yes. A honey
Of a place with--
284
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:21,301
Down here.
285
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:22,269
We are the goozers,
286
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,037
And we have
Summoned you here.
287
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:27,240
Some of the most
Hideous, revolting,
Yucky, stinky,
288
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,677
Creepy, smelly,
Pukey, nasty,
289
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:33,881
Grossenheimer,
Slug-like aliens.
290
00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,983
Did I mention
They're sickening,
Ghastly,
291
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:37,918
Pustule-looking
Creatures?
292
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,119
Uh, c-c-captain,
293
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,288
Hadn't you better
Begin the operation?
294
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:44,491
This will be a pleasure.
Dodgers out.
295
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:46,193
[engine starts]
296
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,695
You don't understand!
297
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,398
Come to papa, pusbuckets.
298
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:52,765
But we...
299
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,067
[muffled]
Called you.
300
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:57,037
Like shooting monkeys
At the zoo.
301
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,840
Yee-haw!
302
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,376
Booger. 12:00.
303
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:07,080
There seems to be
Some misunderstanding.
304
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:08,681
I know what
You're thinking.
305
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:11,851
Did he fire 6 shots
Or only 5?
306
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,686
Well, due to a previous
Head injury,
307
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:15,889
I kind of lost track
Myself,
308
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:18,258
So I've got to ask you
The question.
309
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:21,628
Do you feel lucky,
Punk?
310
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,330
[splat]
311
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:26,099
I'm sorry we had
To tackle you, captain.
312
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:29,069
Aah! Get them off me! Aah!
313
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:31,671
You could have killed me,
You evil alien invaders!
314
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:34,307
Like, what did I ever
Do to you?
315
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,345
What we've been trying
To tell you is,
316
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:41,081
All: we're not
The evil invaders.
317
00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:42,916
We sent the distress signal.
318
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,152
You know, you really
Should have said
Something
319
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,420
Before I started
Freezing everybody.
320
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:48,755
But we--
Say,
321
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,390
If you disgusting
Scumballs
322
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:51,791
Aren't the invaders,
323
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,326
Then who is?
324
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,327
They are.
325
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:57,664
They're
The catapoids,
326
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,366
And they must
Be stopped
327
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:00,667
Before the sun sets.
328
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,070
Let's not be
Too hasty, goo boy.
329
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:07,207
I'll handle
This investigation
Personally.
330
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:10,410
Hold on, girls!
Daddy's coming!
331
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:16,149
Now to find captain dodgers.
332
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,351
Goozer:
Everything's
Gonna be ok.
333
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,219
Just stay cool.
334
00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:21,188
Sorry.
Figure of speech.
335
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,822
Excuse me,
My fine pustule,
336
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,557
B-b-but have you
Seen captain dodgers?
337
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,393
Not since
He confused us
With the invaders
338
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,095
And drove around
Like a maniac,
339
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,063
Shooting at us
With that stupid
Freeze ray,
340
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,364
Incapacitating
Most of us,
341
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,100
Especially
The women,
The children,
342
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,401
The elderly,
The weak,
And the sick,
343
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,103
And then he left us
To clean up his mess
344
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,937
So he could
Fraternize with
The evil invaders.
345
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:40,307
Ha ha ha!
Good old captain dodgers.
346
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,175
Uh, do you know
Where he is?
347
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:44,144
He's with them--
The catapoids--
348
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:45,912
And he's in
Incredible danger,
349
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:49,449
For at sunset,
They will turn.
350
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,084
Uh, t-t-turn?
351
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,785
Oh, that doesn't
Sound good.
352
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:56,156
Hurry! You've got to
Do something before
It's too late!
353
00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:57,490
Uh, t-t-too late?
354
00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:01,228
Yes. Too late.
355
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:04,097
Duck dodgers:
It's true we've only
Known each other
356
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,732
For 6 1/2 hours,
357
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:09,836
But I already feel
A deep spiritual
Connection with you.
358
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,438
By the way,
What's your name?
359
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:14,274
[hissing]
360
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,744
Right. I'll just
Call you cookie.
361
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:21,548
Potatoes, carrots,
And onions.
362
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:24,684
Now I know what
A pot roast feels like.
363
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,057
Great view.
364
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,960
Say, this one's
A little loose.
365
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:35,262
Thanks.
366
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,997
You are a naughty
Little minx,
Aren't you?
367
00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:39,266
[hissing]
368
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:43,236
Mother warned me
About girls like you.
369
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,205
The captain's
In tr-tr-tr--
370
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:47,207
Oh, he's in for
A world of hurt.
371
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:50,009
What's this?
More food.
372
00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:51,211
Thank you,
My beauty.
373
00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:53,846
Each girl
More lovely
Than the last.
374
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:55,682
Step forward,
My exotic beauty,
375
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:58,285
For I am
A gentle lover.
376
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:02,355
Your breathtaking beauty
Intoxicates me.
377
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,591
Hello, sir.
You can talk!
378
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:05,792
American!
379
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,260
Of course I can,
Captain dodgers.
380
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,262
Oh, my gosh.
How'd you know
My name?
381
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,198
Sir, I'm the cadet.
382
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:12,699
You are not going
To believe this.
383
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:15,635
You have the same name
As my assistant.
384
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,504
Sir,
It's j-j-just me.
385
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:18,571
I'm wearing a wig.
386
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:19,972
Me, too!
387
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,541
Technically,
It's a toupee--
388
00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:24,777
Very expensive from
A nationally known
Hair association.
389
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,079
Where'd you
Get yours?
390
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,680
Well, I just made it
A few minutes ago
391
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:30,150
From some weeds I found
Out in the woods.
392
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,451
Man, I got ripped off.
393
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,786
I paid a thousand bucks
For this thing.
394
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:37,190
C-c-captain,
I think we've gotten
A bit off track.
395
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:38,491
Do you remember
The cadet?
396
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,059
Vaguely.
397
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:41,361
Try and picture him.
398
00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:42,229
Ok.
399
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,331
Now picture me.
Got it.
400
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,399
Eh, do you notice
Any similarities?
401
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:48,401
Nope.
Absolutely none.
402
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:52,372
Try a little harder.
C-c-concentrate.
403
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:55,508
Cadet?
404
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,243
Uh, yes.
405
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:58,645
You're a woman?
406
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:03,516
No! This is just
A stupid disguise!
407
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,018
I put it on
So I could sneak in
And rescue you!
408
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,787
Oh, but I don't
Want to be rescued.
409
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:12,225
I've decided to make
A new life for myself
Here with these girls.
410
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,527
B-b-but, sir,
They're not really girls.
411
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,296
Don't you think
I can tell
The difference
412
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:18,465
Between a real girl
And an imposter?
413
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:19,599
Well...
414
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:22,435
Girls, take this
Home-wrecker
Into custody.
415
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:25,572
Time to switch to plan "B."
416
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,407
[hissing]
417
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:33,546
I'll use this laughing gas
To incapacitate those catapoids
418
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:37,049
And warn captain dodgers
Of his imminent demise.
419
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,219
[click click]
420
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:40,520
I don't understand.
421
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,555
Captain dodgers said
He inspected the armory,
422
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,225
And everything
Was in tiptop shape.
423
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,061
[grunting]
424
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:53,200
He never...Does his...
Inspections!
425
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,236
Oh, d-d-dear.
426
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,340
Not exactly
What I had in mind,
427
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,074
But I still have to warn--
428
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,376
Ha ha! Oh, my.
429
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,345
The laughing gas is--ha ha--
Taking effect.
430
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:08,548
Promise me
You'll always be
This sweet.
431
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,317
[hissing]
432
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:13,220
I am one lucky duck.
433
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:17,224
Psst! Captain dodgers,
I'm here to warn you.
434
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:18,425
Warn me about what?
435
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,327
About the horrible
Catapoids.
436
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:21,828
The girls--ha ha!
437
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:22,862
They're not
What they seem.
438
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:24,264
They're--ha ha ha!
439
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,233
They're evil monsters.
Ha ha ha!
440
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,100
They're gonna--ha ha!
They're gonna--ha ha!
441
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,102
They're gonna--ha ha--
Rip--ha ha ha!
442
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,304
They're gonna rip--ha!
443
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:32,639
Rip you to shreds! Ha!
444
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,441
Ha ha! And they'll feast--
Ha ha ha!
445
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,643
Feast--ha ha--
On your flesh!
446
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,878
Ha ha ha!
In some kind of--ha ha--
447
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,247
Unholy ritual!
448
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:43,316
Ha ha ha!
If they're gonna
Do all that to me--
449
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:44,351
Ha ha ha!
450
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,052
What are they
Gonna do to you?
451
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:47,787
Ha ha ha!
452
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,890
Well, I suppose
There will be
A lot of--ha ha ha!
453
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:52,792
A lot of screaming!
Ha ha ha!
454
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,894
Severe pain! Ha ha ha!
455
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:57,129
Oh, and then
The protectorate
456
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,098
Will have--ha ha!
Will have--ha ha!
457
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:01,801
Notify my mother!
Ha ha ha!
458
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,570
Hello, ladies! Ha!
459
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:06,038
I'd better get out
Of here, huh? Ha ha!
460
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:07,139
Ha ha ha!
461
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,075
You better run
Like the dickens!
462
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,743
Ha ha ha!
463
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:14,814
I guess it's time
To pull out the--ha ha ha!
464
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,549
Heavy artillery!
465
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:19,686
Ha ha ha!
466
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:25,124
Duck dodgers:
This planet's sunsets
Are so lovely.
467
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:26,559
I can't wait
Till we settle down
468
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:29,696
And enjoy little moments
Like these all the time.
469
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,131
[hissing]
470
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:35,167
Heh heh. I just love
Baby talk.
471
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,270
[hissing]
472
00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:46,513
[roaring]
473
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,683
What say you
Give us a kiss?
474
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,152
Mmm.
475
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:56,723
Come on, sweetheart.
Lay one on me.
476
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,858
Wow! What a kisser!
477
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,927
[birds chirping]
478
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:06,833
S-s-spit out that duck,
You big ugly caterpillar, you.
479
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:08,301
[laughing]
480
00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:30,423
48.2 kilomiles.
481
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,759
A new personal record.
482
00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:36,262
[laughing]
483
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:38,765
B-b-bye-bye, buggy.
484
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:46,038
[buzzing]
485
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:49,642
I think you have my duck.
486
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:00,487
Ahh.
487
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:03,322
Aah! Monsters! Aah!
488
00:22:03,390 --> 00:22:05,558
Announcer:
And the chicago androids
489
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:08,695
Have beaten the transfardians
Of lathica.
490
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,364
Oh, phooey.
I must have
Fallen asleep
491
00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:13,165
And missed the end
Of the game.
492
00:22:13,232 --> 00:22:15,101
I just had
The worst dream.
493
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,236
There were
These pretty girls
Who talked funny,
494
00:22:17,303 --> 00:22:20,139
And they turned
Into these big ugly
Caterpillar things
495
00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:22,509
That had stinky breath.
496
00:22:22,575 --> 00:22:24,544
Man, it was terrible!
497
00:22:24,611 --> 00:22:27,313
Don't worry, captain.
It was just a bad dream,
498
00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:29,115
And dreams
Can never hurt you.
499
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,550
That's good
To hear...
500
00:22:30,617 --> 00:22:32,885
Because when I saw
This ugly thing,
501
00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:35,054
I thought it might
Have been real.
34433
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