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1
00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:04,463
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:06,298
Hey, guys, mail's in.
3
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:08,675
All right. Let's see.
4
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,135
Mr. Peterson,
5
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:11,887
Mr. Peterson,
6
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,056
Mr. Peterson...
7
00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:16,391
Occupant...
8
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:18,977
Mr. Peterson,
9
00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:20,729
Mr. Boyd.
10
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:21,813
Oh, hey, that's me.
11
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,942
Oh, yeah. I ordered this weeks ago.
12
00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,819
This is a whole big book
of crossword puzzles.
13
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,238
All right, let's check them out.
14
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:31,698
This is great because it has
all the answers in the back,
15
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,326
so we don't have to worry
about all those confusing clues.
16
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,870
- All rightie.
- All right.
17
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,498
One across. Penguin.
18
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:40,707
Okay.
19
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,586
Hey, it fit!
20
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,046
All right. Hey.
21
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,757
These are great
once you get the hang of them.
22
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,433
Hey, Miss Howe. You look nice.
What's the occasion?
23
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,894
Well, I just signed up
with an executive placement agency,
24
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,522
and I have all sorts of interviews
lined up this afternoon.
25
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,482
I feel really great about it.
26
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:51,028
I'm finally gonna get myself
out of this brain-dead mausoleum.
27
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,822
Oh, no offense, guys.
28
00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:00,120
- Well, I'm off.
- Good luck, Miss Howe.
29
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,539
Thanks but I don't need it.
I'm wearing my lucky dress.
30
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:03,624
I can't lose.
31
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,752
Hi, Sam. I'm off to get a job.
Nothing can stop me now.
32
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,587
- In that?
- Who am I fooling?
33
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,756
They're not gonna hire
a loser like me.
34
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:16,178
Hey, I just saw
the neatest little present
35
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,304
in this kids' shop.
36
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:18,930
Look at this.
37
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,767
Does this say
little Freddy Crane or what?
38
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,311
"Babe hound in training."
39
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:27,898
Afternoon, all.
40
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,651
Hey, it's Dr. Crane
and Dr. Sternin-Crane
41
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:34,488
and little Frederick
Crane-Sternin-Crane-Crane.
42
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,074
What can I get you?
43
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,992
I know I could use a glass of water.
44
00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,287
Hey. It's my best pal.
45
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:43,955
Well, hello to you, too, Sam.
46
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,207
Oh, hey, Frase.
47
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:47,918
Hi there.
48
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,378
Gimme five.
49
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:50,545
Pow!
50
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,090
So what are you guys doing here?
51
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:56,301
Someone got a little thirsty
while we were playing in the park.
52
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,220
So he needs some juice?
53
00:02:58,387 --> 00:02:59,721
You said it. Scotch on the rocks.
54
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,265
I'm joking.
55
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:06,311
No, Sam. Just a little apple juice
and a couple of ginger ales, and...
56
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,611
- We're having quality family time.
- That's right.
57
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,239
I canceled every single one
of my appointments today.
58
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,116
And I called in sick to the lab.
59
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,702
I placed some gauze
over the telephone
60
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,705
and altered my voice
so as to appear ill.
61
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,707
And the Oscar goes to...
62
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:30,752
Here we are, dear.
63
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:34,798
So we decided to have
a lovely afternoon with a picnic,
64
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,800
and now we're off to go fly a kite.
65
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,552
I noticed it was windy, too.
66
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,929
I went out and got
little Frederick this kite.
67
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,389
What do you think?
68
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,768
I got an idea.
Why don't we go try these babies?
69
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,687
I'll be right back.
I'm going to get my jacket.
70
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:50,355
Sam is tagging along?
71
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,691
We need some time to ourselves.
72
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,943
Well, you know, darling, it is Sam.
73
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:59,072
Frasier, am I going
to have to play bad cop?
74
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,075
Now let me understand.
75
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,036
Are you saying
that up until this point,
76
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,496
you've been playing good cop?
77
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:13,545
I got an idea.
We can tie your little kite to this.
78
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:14,963
It'll make a great tail.
79
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,848
Coming! I'm coming.
80
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,562
- Oh, it's you.
- Yeah, hi. Hi, Lilith.
81
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,732
Hey, look at you.
You got hair like a woman.
82
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,737
I'm here to watch Huckleberry Hound.
83
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:41,531
At 5:53 a.m.?
84
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,241
Yeah. Yesterday me and Freddy
85
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,910
decided we were going
to watch some cartoons.
86
00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,788
Who decided?
The child can barely speak.
87
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,956
Well, he can nod.
Hey, Frasier.
88
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,709
Hey, Freddy, we're going
to watch the cartoons.
89
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,803
That wasn't Sam Malone, was it?
90
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,598
Please tell me
that was an armed intruder.
91
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,768
It was Sam.
Frasier, you've got to do something.
92
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:11,895
Every day he gets here a little earlier,
93
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,605
and every night
he leaves a little later.
94
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,649
Well, darling, he is a friend of ours.
95
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,193
It's getting so we can't
make love in the morning.
96
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,279
I didn't know we could
make love in the morning.
97
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,868
We can't. It was just a "for instance."
98
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,706
The point is I don't like people
seeing me in my nightgown.
99
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,750
It undermines my authority.
100
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:36,127
I really wouldn't
worry about that, dear.
101
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,507
Frasier, do something.
102
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,759
Well, my love, let's...
103
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:47,806
Let's try to use some insight
into what Sam's going through.
104
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:50,851
His affection for Frederick is...
105
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,645
...is not unusual,
under the circumstances.
106
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:57,524
After all, he's an aging playboy
who is just now coming to realize
107
00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:02,821
that he has nothing
and that he's got no progeny left
108
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,614
to carry on his name.
109
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,492
That is a frightening
revelation for any man.
110
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:11,830
- Frasier, it's 5:55 in the morning.
- The heave-ho.
111
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,711
Sam, could you
come down here, please?
112
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,840
Oh. Good timing. Commercial's on.
113
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,259
Sam, there's something
we have to ask you.
114
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:26,553
Good. Cause there's something
we have to ask you, too.
115
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,971
What's for breakfast?
116
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,808
He's reacting to the nightgown.
117
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,522
Sam, as much as we adore you
118
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:40,317
and are happy that you've taken
such an interest in Frederick,
119
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,862
we're just not getting
enough private time to ourselves.
120
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:47,032
Oh. Say no more. I understand.
You guys want to be alone.
121
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,576
Why don't Freddy and I
go over to my apartment?
122
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,036
You can catch up with us later.
123
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:54,164
No, no, Sam. You misunderstand.
We're not saying that we want
124
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,333
to be intimate
with each other right now.
125
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:58,168
God forbid while the sun's out.
126
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,174
No. We're just saying
127
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,217
that we'd like to spend
the day with our son,
128
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,802
just the three of us.
129
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,640
Well, shoot. You should
have told me sooner.
130
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,892
I mean, I don't want
to horn in on you guys.
131
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,727
Tell you what, Freddy,
we'll have to watch cartoons
132
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,145
some other time, all right?
133
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,356
Why don't you now
go over to your daddy?
134
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,274
There we go. Go to daddy.
135
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:25,987
Go on, Freddy. It's okay.
136
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,198
Oh, fine.
137
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:29,658
Now you see what you've done?
138
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,743
My son likes you
better than he likes me.
139
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,080
No. Don't be silly.
Come on, go to daddy.
140
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:36,665
You'll have fun. He loves you.
141
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,333
Oh. Now you're being sarcastic.
142
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,128
I'm not being sarcastic. Come on.
143
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,922
Go to your daddy. Go on.
144
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,883
Okay. Come on.
Go to your other daddy.
145
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:48,802
Go to uncle Frasier.
146
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,263
Sam, you have turned
my son against me.
147
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,933
If you two don't mind,
I think I'll take our little wishbone
148
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,726
into the kitchen for breakfast.
149
00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,646
Well, this is...
150
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:02,774
Frase, I'm sorry.
151
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,276
Sam, he's my son!
I made him. I get to keep him!
152
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:09,864
Come on, Frase, calm down.
153
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:13,201
This is my house, my child,
and my wife who thanks to you
154
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:15,286
I don't even have time
to make love to in the morning!
155
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,247
- I thought you said...
- All right, I'm raving!
156
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,006
I'm sorry. It's just...
157
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:27,465
I like your kid.
158
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,842
I didn't know I liked kids before.
159
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,469
If you like kids so much,
why don't you get one of your own?
160
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,555
Oh, Sam.
161
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,140
Look, I'm sorry.
162
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:36,599
You know I love you.
163
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,435
I think you're one
of the greatest guys in the world.
164
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,354
It's just a little bit early
on Saturday morning
165
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,314
to lose the love of your child.
166
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,610
Now, if you can just excuse me,
167
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:51,364
I'm gonna go try to bond with my son
over a bowl of Froot Loops.
168
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,867
Oh, God, I love Froot Loops.
169
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,244
Sorry. Sorry.
170
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:08,465
Oh, hey, Miss Howe,
how was your interview?
171
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,175
Did it go any better
than the others?
172
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,343
Oh, yeah. It was the usual, you know.
173
00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:13,803
I was sitting in the waiting room
174
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,347
and got nervous
and had a quick cigarette,
175
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,391
and that was pretty much that.
176
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,989
Think you could stop
throwing that thing?
177
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,407
Why? It gives me something to do.
178
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,664
We got to talk.
179
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,708
It's ever since
I've been hanging around
180
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,418
with Frasier's kid...
181
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,511
Sammy, you don't expect me
to pay for this beer, do you?
182
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:56,387
No.
183
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,555
Good.
184
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:07,690
Come on. What's wrong?
185
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,694
Do you think guys have
a biological clock, you know,
186
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,239
like they know
when it's time to have a kid?
187
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,449
Oh, yeah. Usually when they say,
188
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,409
"Hey, Carla, you want
to go out tonight?"
189
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,329
Come on. What's on your mind?
190
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,540
Well, I've been thinking.
191
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,167
You know, I'm not
that young anymore.
192
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:29,379
It's not that I'm old.
It's just that I'm not young.
193
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,756
I'm not old old. I'm just youngish.
194
00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:33,466
I'm... I'm a youngish man.
195
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,844
Please go on.
196
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,429
Well, I'm thinking about...
197
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,890
I'm thinking about being a dad.
198
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:42,559
What?
199
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,561
Yeah.
200
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,521
I've been playing around all my life,
201
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,815
and, I don't know,
maybe I'm missing something.
202
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,192
Have you thought
about getting a dog?
203
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:53,194
I don't want a dog.
204
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:58,116
I want someone to be with,
to take care of, to watch grow.
205
00:10:58,283 --> 00:10:59,993
Have you thought
about getting a plant?
206
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,122
You don't think
I'll be a good father?
207
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:05,582
Oh, no.
208
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,542
No. I think you'd be a great father.
209
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,044
So you have a mother picked out?
210
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,463
No. Not really.
211
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,384
Does that mean...
You're not going to ask me?
212
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,846
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't think about that.
213
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:20,889
Yeah. Would you?
214
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,348
What are you, nuts?
215
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,145
You think I'm gonna
go through labor an eighth time
216
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,147
because you're a little lonely?
217
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:31,774
Selfish bastard.
218
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:38,364
You know, it doesn't matter.
What the heck. I know a hundred women.
219
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,743
What am I talking about?
I know thousands of women.
220
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:45,163
What am I talking about?
I know tens of thousands of women.
221
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,748
What am I talking about...
222
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:51,377
Sammy, now, just think
about this for a minute.
223
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,963
Do you really, really want this?
224
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,591
Yeah. I really, really want this.
225
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:58,760
Come on, Sam.
226
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,721
Do you have any idea
what it means to have a kid?
227
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:06,559
It's changing dirty diapers
and getting spit-up stains
228
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,770
on the shoulders
of your best clothes.
229
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,105
Ear infections
in the middle of the night
230
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:13,900
and shoving antibiotics
down their throats
231
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,195
and worrying about them
every day and every night
232
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,863
for the rest of your life.
233
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,115
How does that sound?
234
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,243
Sounds cool.
235
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,748
Yeah. It is, kind of.
236
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,296
Would they, like,
really spit up on leather?
237
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,841
Oh, they know fabrics.
238
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,852
So who's going to be the mom, Sam?
239
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,063
I haven't figured that out yet, Woody,
240
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,774
but she's got to be
somewhere in here...
241
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,818
Or here...
242
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:05,827
What about Miss Howe?
She's getting up there like you.
243
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,205
She's probably about
ready to have a kid.
244
00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:10,748
She's very responsible.
245
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,875
I think that was
my best interview yet.
246
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,585
I think they really
were impressed with me
247
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:17,422
until I accidentally knocked
the CEO into the fax machine
248
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,549
and sent a copy
of his butt to Wichita.
249
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,429
See, Sam? You could
have asked her just now.
250
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,932
Wait a minute. Here you go.
251
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:29,517
Now, this could work out.
252
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,102
What am I doing?
What am I going to say?
253
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,229
I have to figure out
how to word this.
254
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:34,397
Hold on a second.
255
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,858
Excuse me. Miss?
256
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,402
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
257
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,237
Just hypothetically, now,
258
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,323
say someone you've been
dating a couple times
259
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,074
calls you up and says,
260
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:48,911
"Hey, we had some laughs together.
What say we have a baby?"
261
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:50,455
I'm not talking commitment here.
262
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,957
Don't misunderstand me.
Maybe yes, maybe no.
263
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:58,087
Picture is, get pregnant,
have the baby, give it to me, go away.
264
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,760
You know, just offhand,
how would you react to that?
265
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,012
How would I react
if a guy called me up
266
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,306
and asked me
to be a breeder for him?
267
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,768
To be sort of an incubator for his seed?
268
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,188
Yeah. Exactly.
But wait a second. Let me...
269
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:18,483
Let me get a pencil.
I want to write this down.
270
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:19,609
Okay.
271
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:25,990
Okay. "Incubator"...
272
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:30,620
"Breeder"...
273
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,790
Red flag words.
274
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:39,045
You know, if it's a boy,
275
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,964
I just hope he names it
Clifford Clavin Malone.
276
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,386
I don't care what he names it
as long as he doesn't bring it in here.
277
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,763
If there's one thing
I can't stand it's babies.
278
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,598
Come on, Mr. Krapitz.
279
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:53,726
Wouldn't you like a helpless
little guy, all soft and cuddly,
280
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,145
who you could burp
every once in a while?
281
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,191
Yeah, we need
another one of those.
282
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,614
Sam.
283
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:10,076
Listen, Sam, I...
284
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,870
I'd like to apologize
about this morning
285
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,330
when I kicked you out.
286
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:16,332
I...
287
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,376
I forgot how much
Freddy means to you
288
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,086
and how much you mean to him.
289
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,756
I also forgot that Lilith
and I have two tickets
290
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,883
to Jerome Robbins' Broadway tonight,
a hundred bucks a throw.
291
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,343
If you think I'm gonna
miss that, you're nuts.
292
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,345
Have fun, Freddy. Daddy loves you.
293
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,602
You want me to lock up, Sam?
294
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,730
No, thanks.
I got to wait for Frasier and Lilith.
295
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,357
- Good night.
- Good night.
296
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:44,485
Hey, little buddy.
297
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:46,612
So...
298
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,449
What do you want
to watch here, Frederick?
299
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:54,078
- The congress and the administration...
- 24-hour news.
300
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,289
The city council both turned down...
301
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,832
Headline news.
302
00:15:58,541 --> 00:15:59,834
Local news.
303
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,753
Aw, hey. Elvis.
304
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,340
Night and you
305
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:11,637
And blue Hawaii
306
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:17,810
Hey, Sam.
307
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,687
- What?
- Sam.
308
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:21,898
Who's there?
309
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:24,275
No, up here, Sam. It's me, Elvis.
310
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:29,614
Elvis?
311
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,991
Yeah, come on over here, man.
I don't want to have to shout at you.
312
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,246
I'm having a dream about Elvis.
313
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,585
What do you want with me, Elvis?
314
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:49,175
I want to tell you something.
You're right about wanting a child.
315
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,676
The best thing
that ever happened to me
316
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,094
was having Lisa Marie.
317
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,263
Here. Isn't she precious?
318
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,142
Yeah. And she's a real cutie.
319
00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:01,979
You'd be happy to know, Elvis,
she turned out to be a real babe.
320
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,273
Sam, don't make me
come through this TV.
321
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:08,819
I'm sorry.
322
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,239
This baby's going
to need a mama, Sam.
323
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:15,785
Yeah, I know that, Elvis,
but I can't think of anybody.
324
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,870
I just think you're
overlooking someone.
325
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,331
- Who?
- Miss Rebecca Howe.
326
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,793
- Rebecca?
- Miss Rebecca.
327
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:28,422
She's been a true friend,
328
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,841
and you've been
through so much together.
329
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,719
There's a lot of love in her heart.
She has no one to give it to.
330
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,305
And she's a handsome woman.
331
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,391
Miss Rebecca? Really?
332
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,644
Think about it, Sam.
I know I'm right.
333
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,230
Now if you'll just excuse me,
334
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,982
I got to go back and
frolic on a beach
335
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,483
or jump in a stock car race
or something.
336
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,277
I don't know what they got me
doing in this one.
337
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,613
Later, Sam.
338
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:00,913
Isn't this sweet?
339
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,791
My son and his baby-sitter
passed out in a bar.
340
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:10,881
No. It's okay.
341
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,133
Sam.
342
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,637
I've got him, Sam. Thanks.
343
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:17,722
Yeah.
344
00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,644
Say, Frasier.
345
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,481
The weirdest thing
just happened to me.
346
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,276
I could have sworn
347
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:34,155
I just had a conversation
with Elvis Presley.
348
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:37,658
Well, Sam, I've had
four or five patients
349
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,201
that have had the same experience.
350
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:42,288
I'll simply tell you
what I told them.
351
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,165
The man is dead.
352
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,599
- Hi, Sam.
- Hi.
353
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,643
What are you doing back here?
354
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,353
It's my night to lock up.
355
00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,939
Besides, it looks like
I'll still be working here anyway.
356
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,108
Nobody else wants me.
357
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:12,735
I'm sorry to hear that.
358
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:16,614
Yeah, well, maybe I've been barking up
the wrong tree my whole life...
359
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:18,658
All these big dreams
360
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:22,536
about being a big
corporate executive,
361
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,288
having a lot of power,
362
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,749
a lot of control.
363
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,919
I don't know why I've been
knocking my brains out.
364
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,881
Maybe I should have settled
for some dumb, ordinary jerk
365
00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:35,508
and raised a family.
366
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:46,977
What?
367
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:48,854
It's just...
368
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,774
You know, I've been thinking
the same thing,
369
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:55,444
only, you know, I was thinking
that you should have a child
370
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,488
with someone who was good-looking
371
00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:59,365
and really cool.
372
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,868
Yeah, well, I don't know
anybody like that.
373
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:05,830
What about me?
374
00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:07,206
Why? You know somebody like that?
375
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,376
No. You know, I...
376
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,169
What I mean is,
I was thinking that...
377
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,423
...you and I should have
a baby together.
378
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:20,010
Oh, come on, Sam.
379
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,471
No. Why? Why not? Think about it.
380
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,433
You and I are good friends.
Hell, you're my best friend,
381
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,560
and we've been
through a lot together.
382
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:31,772
You have a lot of love to give,
and you're a handsome woman.
383
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,529
Well, I'm flattered.
384
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,949
I'm not ready
to have a baby, Sam.
385
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:44,785
I got a lot of things left to do in life.
386
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:45,953
Yeah? Like what?
387
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,122
- Like a lot.
- All right, name one.
388
00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:51,333
Well, I'd always planned
on growing old
389
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,960
and, you know, dying alone.
390
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,297
You can still do that.
391
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:58,174
You don't just, you know...
392
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,218
...go out and have a baby
with somebody.
393
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:04,513
- Why not?
- I don't know why not.
394
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,974
- Then why not?
- Why with you?
395
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,185
- Why not?
- We...
396
00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:14,106
Why not?
397
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,318
- I mean, we could.
- Yeah.
398
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:21,697
Your mom did it. My mom did.
Carla does it all the time.
399
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:27,036
I mean, I... why shouldn't we?
400
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:31,916
Maybe this would be something
that I'd finally be good at.
401
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,336
So, will you?
402
00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:38,214
Okay.
403
00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:42,051
Let's have a baby.
404
00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:53,270
I think this is gonna change
405
00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:54,814
- my whole life.
- Oh, yeah.
406
00:21:55,898 --> 00:22:00,110
I think no more Rebecca the jerk,
no more Rebecca the go on ball,
407
00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:01,737
Rebecca the loser.
408
00:22:02,404 --> 00:22:03,739
Rebecca the mother.
409
00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:06,617
I'm going to have
a brand-new human baby.
410
00:22:08,369 --> 00:22:11,080
I get to feed her,
and I get to hold her.
411
00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:13,541
I can't wait!
412
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:15,835
You know, a new life,
413
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:19,421
a new life that depends
completely on me.
414
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,516
Can you believe it?
I forgot my coat.
415
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:33,853
I guess I'm just
so excited about this.
416
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,814
I don't know.
I'm going to be a mommy!
417
00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:41,902
A mommy!
418
00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:47,908
You'd better be right, Elvis.
29053
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