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1
00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:04,463
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:07,049
Sam, more change, please.
3
00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:10,385
Boy, Lilith's really burning up
the phone there. What's the matter?
4
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:14,223
Oh, you don't want
to hear about our troubles.
5
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:17,100
Well, then again, since I've suffered
through so many of yours...
6
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,395
We're having a devil of a time
finding a baby-sitter
7
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:21,980
for little Frederick.
8
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:24,149
Jeez, what we wouldn't give
to get away together.
9
00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:26,401
Oh, me, too.
I live for that.
10
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,153
Really?
You could use a vacation?
11
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,447
No. I want you guys
to go away.
12
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,992
So you don't have any
relatives or friends
13
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,661
You can ask
to watch the baby?
14
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,829
Oh, I'd gladly ask my parents.
15
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:40,249
Of course, they're dead.
16
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:42,376
Well, as for friends, I--well...
17
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,087
Sorry. Stupid question.
18
00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:47,464
Frasier, good news.
I finally found a woman
19
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,758
with whom we can leave
our baby for one night.
20
00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:51,301
Oh, great.
Tell me about her.
21
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,845
Well,
she's 79 years old,
22
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,390
she can't see her hands
without her glasses,
23
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,518
but she assures me
she can smell smoke.
24
00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:01,103
Lilith, this is wonderful.
25
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,729
At last we'll have
a night alone together.
26
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,064
Yes, it's just what we need.
27
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,732
Our relationship
is at a point
28
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,735
where the rekindling of romance
is both appropriate and welcome,
29
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,779
to say nothing of timely.
30
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:12,948
Stop, Lilith.
You're getting me hot.
31
00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:33,654
Hey, Cliff ie. Your beer
taste a little flat today?
32
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:35,739
No.
33
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,241
I don't know. Seems like it's off
34
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,577
by maybe a hop or two.
35
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:44,998
Well, it probably
has something to do
36
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,084
with that new
pasteurization process.
37
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:51,505
You know, they put it
in big sterilized vats...
38
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,173
Ah, who gives a hoot?
39
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,844
What, no long-winded explanation?
40
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,639
Cliff just isn't
himself today.
41
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:03,016
Well, it's not just Mr. Clavin.
42
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,268
I'm feeling a little strange, too.
43
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,020
In fact, this whole place
feels weird.
44
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,772
Well, you know, Woody,
45
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:12,818
the Japanese believe that
every house has its own energy,
46
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,237
what they call
its "wah."
47
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,197
Now, Eastern culture submits
48
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,449
that if this wah
is somehow in disorder,
49
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,867
everyone that enters therein
50
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,911
will feel a sense of disconnection.
51
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,497
Mr. Clavin, I know why
you're not yourself.
52
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,998
Dr. Crane is yourself.
53
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,671
Damn it.
54
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:35,465
These decorations
are all wrong.
55
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,261
This is Saint Patrick's Day,
the busiest night of the year,
56
00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:42,222
and our name is misspelled
on every single item.
57
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,892
"Faith and Begorrah
from your friends at Chees."
58
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:54,568
Rebecca, the decorations
are the least of our problems.
59
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,236
I agree.
60
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,113
You're right, Norm.
I think unpaid bar tabs
61
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,907
come a lot higher
on our priority list.
62
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:06,246
Damn it! Would you look
how they misspelled Cheers!
63
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,247
Can you believe it?
64
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:17,215
What I'm talking about is,
65
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,176
if you guys want to worry
about something,
66
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:22,471
why don't you worry about
what evil, rotten practical joke
67
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:25,557
Gary's Old Town Tavern
is gonna play on us this year.
68
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:26,725
No, no, no, no, no.
69
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:29,311
We are not gonna continue
this feud with Gary, okay?
70
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,854
What are you talking about?
71
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,773
This is Saint Paddy's Day.
72
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,399
It's one of the busiest nights
of the year.
73
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,693
It's when Gary
wheels out the big guns.
74
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,487
He can't do anything worse
to us than he did last year.
75
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:39,529
Remember that?
76
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,531
The place was packed
and Gary and his goons
77
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,367
filled our stairwell
with potatoes.
78
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:47,120
Yeah, and just my luck
I was sitting on the bottom step
79
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,497
Tying my shoe
at the time.
80
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,501
Lucky for me you guys
were able to dig me out.
81
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,128
I'd hate to be the second
member of my family
82
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,798
buried alive by potatoes.
83
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,638
Well, this year,
things are going to be different.
84
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,306
Now, after that potato incident,
85
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,016
I went over there
and I had a little chat with Gary.
86
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:09,643
I said we gotta cool it
'cause this stuff
87
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:10,936
is ruining our business,
88
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,479
and he agreed.
89
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:15,732
So we drew up
this little document to that effect.
90
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:19,444
"We, the managers of Cheers
and Gary's Old Town Tavern,
91
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,322
do solemnly swear
to cut it out."
92
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,325
That ought to hold up in court.
93
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,787
I have to do something
about these decorations.
94
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,163
What are you gonna do, replace them?
95
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,873
No, there's no time for that.
96
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,418
I have to go to the deli
and buy some cheese.
97
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:37,337
People will be expecting it.
98
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,801
Fill up your beer
for you there, Norm?
99
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:44,636
No, thanks.
I'm not quite finished with this one.
100
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:53,645
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
I'm full!
101
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:56,857
Aw, man, that's it.
102
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,483
What's going on
around here today?
103
00:05:58,650 --> 00:05:59,901
Everybody's acting weird.
104
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:02,195
It's time to give old
Tecumseh a belly rub.
105
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,905
- There you go.
- Who's Tecumseh?
106
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,824
The old wooden Indian
by the door.
107
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,284
Isn't that Phil?
108
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:13,582
Where--
where is he?
109
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,208
Did you guys move him?
110
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,420
Well... spread out.
111
00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,005
We got to find him
here, guys.
112
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:21,673
This is very weird.
113
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,341
I could swear
I saw him here yesterday
114
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,886
and the day before,
and the day before that.
115
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,804
No, no, no. That was me.
116
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,517
Sammy, he's not here.
117
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,436
Who in his right mind
118
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,688
would want to walk off
with Tecumseh?
119
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:38,899
Gary.
120
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,400
Oh, man.
121
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,943
Boy, fun is fun,
122
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,529
and I like being humiliated
as much as the next guy,
123
00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:47,115
but--yeah, but this,
taking Tecumseh,
124
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:49,451
that... that crosses the line.
125
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,202
Sammy's right!
126
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,163
I'll tell you what, he can take Cliffie,
127
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,247
he can strip him naked,
128
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,207
he can paint him green,
tie him up like a shamrock,
129
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,667
drag him through
the streets of Boston,
130
00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:00,003
but this is going too far.
131
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:02,464
This time...
it's personal.
132
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:03,924
Hey.
133
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,216
Get Gary!
Get Gary!
134
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,468
Get Gary!
Get Gary!
135
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:07,719
Get Gary!
Get Gary!
136
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,773
Ah, Saint Paddy's Day,
137
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:23,318
the day Saint Patrick
drove all the snakes out of Ireland.
138
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:27,948
Boy, if that isn't the biggest
Freudian dream of all time.
139
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,077
Five more Irish coffees, Woody.
140
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,746
Oh, gosh, I wish Sam would
hurry back from Gary's.
141
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,414
I'm at my wits' end here.
142
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:37,958
How can you tell?
143
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:42,754
Hello, duckling.
144
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,381
Sugar pants.
145
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:50,470
I've been anxiously awaiting
our appointed rendezvous.
146
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:53,598
Hey, Dr. Crane.
Mrs. Dr. Crane.
147
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:55,642
So you guys, you're here
on your night off, huh?
148
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,520
You have a marvelous
grasp of the obvious.
149
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:03,483
Well, that's what comes
from working with your hands.
150
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,571
So what are you guys
going to do?
151
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:12,075
Well, we plan to recreate
our very first romantic liaison.
152
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,536
If memory serves, we began
with a lovely meal at Melville's
153
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:17,080
and then an after-dinner drink here,
and then we adjourned
154
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,582
to Lilith's tastefully
decorated condominium,
155
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,418
where we engaged in an
evening of love-making,
156
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:24,254
which I might say was
rather... meaningful,
157
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:28,133
not to mention
sweet and sweaty.
158
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:34,139
Well, I'm not hungry,
you've had your drink.
159
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:37,767
I say we jump right
to the final stop on our itinerary.
160
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,352
Do you think the people who live
161
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,604
in that condominium now
would mind?
162
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,692
I don't see why.
We're an attractive couple.
163
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,657
Carla, how come we can't
tell Miss Howe
164
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,200
What Sam's doing
to Gary?
165
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,286
Oh, you know her.
She thinks that anything
166
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,580
that destroys property,
costs money,
167
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,999
or wastes time
is stupid.
168
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:04,044
I don't know.
She's got an attitude problem.
169
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,296
Yeah, what is with her?
170
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,551
Ho! Ho! Ho!
171
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,386
Hoo, pow!
Hoo, pow!
172
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,056
Hoo, pow!
Hoo, pow!
173
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,600
Yo, caballeros.
174
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,101
Did you head them off
at the pass?
175
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,645
Oh, yeah. We just shut down
Gary's Old Town Tavern
176
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,981
on one of the busiest bar
nights of the year.
177
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,901
Yeah!
Yay! Go! Go! Go!
178
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:31,279
Yeah, we got padlocks
on all the doors,
179
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:34,032
front and back.
We got toxic spill warning signs.
180
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:36,242
We have police tapes
blocking off all the entrances.
181
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,162
I mean, people are gonna be
afraid to drive down the streets.
182
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,416
And to top it all off,
183
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:47,504
my friend Normie here
sent 38 pizzas over to Gary's house.
184
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,047
Actually, I sent them over to my house.
185
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,423
So if anyone
wants to come over,
186
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,050
come on, we gotta
get to them before Vera,
187
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:54,052
otherwise we got nothing left
but the crust.
188
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,512
- Ho!
- Hey!
189
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,061
Morning, everyone.
190
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,063
- Norm!
- Hey!
191
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,314
What are you up to, Norm?
192
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:09,943
My ideal weight
if I were 11 feet tall.
193
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,869
So, we have any retaliation
from the old Gar-Meister?
194
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,454
No, no, no,
but that's because
195
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,081
we outsmarted them
once again.
196
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,875
We had a man inside
the whole time.
197
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,669
Hey, hey.
198
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:31,089
Yep. I stood exactly where
Tecumseh stands all night long.
199
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:34,342
It's given me a new appreciation
for Tecumseh
200
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:35,677
and everything he does for us.
201
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,096
You stood there
all night long?
202
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,515
What a stupid thing
to do.
203
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:43,768
Oh, yeah?
I stand there for one night
204
00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,270
and you think that's stupid?
205
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:46,896
He stands there for years
206
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,273
and you rub him for luck.
207
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:50,441
Who's the stupid
one, Carla?
208
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:59,242
Hey, I hear you guys
shut down Gary's last night.
209
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,452
Oh, now, he started it
when he stole Tecumseh.
210
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:05,123
When you draw first blood like that,
you got to expect anything to happen.
211
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,166
Right.
212
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,001
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- What?
213
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,128
They're bringing
Tecumseh back.
214
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,838
- Ha ha!
- Oh, yeah!
215
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,506
We brought Gary
to his knees
216
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,508
and now he's returning our statue
217
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:16,801
as a token of surrender!
218
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:18,094
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
219
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,388
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah!
220
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,682
Oh, good.
Tecumseh's back.
221
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,392
Yep. Gary sent him.
222
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,144
Gary? No, I had him revarnished.
223
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,855
Doesn't he look
shiny and new?
224
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,273
You want to sign for this, lady?
225
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,441
Sure.
226
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,488
Say, Rebecca?
227
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,199
So you mean that--
228
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:43,036
That Gary had nothing to do
with Tecumseh being missing?
229
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,579
Absolutely not.
230
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,835
What's wrong?
231
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:54,339
We shut down Gary's bar
232
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,257
on one of the busiest
nights of the year.
233
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,384
We did that for
no good reason at all.
234
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,388
What?
What are you talk--
235
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,765
What did you do?
236
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:06,768
Well, sweetheart...
237
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:10,355
You remember this treaty
you and Gary signed?
238
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:13,274
- Yes.
- Gentlemen...
239
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,694
We're at war.
240
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,538
I don't understand why
you guys think it is so cool
241
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:30,166
to play these stupid
practical jokes?
242
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:33,294
Honey, it's what keeps
the child in us alive.
243
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:38,591
Otherwise, we'd be just
mature adults.
244
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:42,428
Yeah. I'd lie awake at night
worrying about that one.
245
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,764
Listen to me, all of you.
246
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:47,267
I want you call Gary
right now and apologize
247
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:51,271
before he gets the idea of getting even
and blows us to bits
248
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,314
with an all-in-good-fun
toilet explosion.
249
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,735
You're right.
There's that attitude.
250
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:02,573
Apologize.
A lot of good that would do.
251
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:05,952
Gary just gets meaner
when he smells weakness.
252
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,455
- I got to respect the guy.
- Well, one thing is clear.
253
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,249
He is going to retaliate, okay?
254
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,543
In fact, he may have already put
some deadly plan in action.
255
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:17,171
This beer you just poured me, Sam,
could be filled with toxins.
256
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,881
So what do we do?
257
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:20,800
We take our chances.
258
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,221
Hey, Woody, open that door there
259
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,682
and see if Gary's done anything
to the outside of the bar, will ya?
260
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,772
Snow.
261
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,611
Gary made it snow.
262
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:45,658
Gary can't make it snow,
grain brain.
263
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:49,537
Oh, it's a good thing, 'cause
we'd never be able to top that.
264
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,875
Hold it. Hold it.
Hold it. Hold it. Hold it.
265
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,877
He may have planted
somebody in the bar.
266
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:57,503
Now, you see
any strange faces?
267
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,340
Just glance around
nonchalantly.
268
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,216
Come on,
Gary's smarter than that.
269
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:03,801
He knows we'd be
on the lookout for a stranger,
270
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:06,054
so he'd plant somebody we do know.
271
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:10,433
Yeah. Probably try to turn
one of our own against us.
272
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:14,354
So the idea is,
who do we suspect the least?
273
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,107
I think it's me.
274
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:24,030
Aw, come on, Woody!
275
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:27,033
How could Gary
turn you against us?
276
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,202
I don't know,
but if he can make it snow...
277
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,746
He didn't make it snow,
you idiot!
278
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,123
All right, just calm down.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down.
279
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,708
Look, I just can't help it, Sam.
280
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,461
It's this waiting.
It's making me crazy.
281
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,172
Hey, you know Gary.
He always retaliates
282
00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,549
and with great cruelty and force
283
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,135
and always within 24 hours.
284
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,721
Boy, I really do
respect that guy.
285
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,598
Carla's absolutely right.
286
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,141
Every time that damn door opens,
287
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,018
I keep thinking to myself,
this could be the big one.
288
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:58,689
Excuse me.
ls the manager here?
289
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:01,567
Why? Who wants to know?
290
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,152
I'm the fire marshal.
291
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,571
You're due for your routine
six-month inspection
292
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,116
for safety code violations.
293
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,201
Oh...
294
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:15,373
Well, we're really
glad you're here.
295
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,959
Why don't you have a seat.
296
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,502
Can I take your hat?
297
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:20,878
- Thanks.
- Sure.
298
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:23,131
You probably want to be checking
299
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,801
if this fire extinguisher
is fully operational.
300
00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,177
Of course.
301
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:29,637
Okay.
302
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,146
What are you doing?
303
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,690
Well, this hat
is now up to code.
304
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,904
What are you doing?
305
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,323
Well, we're just...
we're just...
306
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,784
...demonstrating our fire
preparedness.
307
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,619
Gentlemen, seltzer drill.
308
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:54,871
Seltzer drill!
309
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,664
Hut!
Seltzer drill.
310
00:15:56,831 --> 00:16:00,835
Yo! Whoa! Whoo!
311
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,591
What are you doing?
312
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:17,602
- You see, these pants were a tinderbox.
- You guys are crazy!
313
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:18,936
- Whoo!
- Yeah.
314
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,399
Whoo!
315
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,236
Sam, excuse me.
316
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:28,905
Will you be sure
and let me know
317
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,615
when the fire marshal
gets here?
318
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:35,286
F-fire marshal?
319
00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:38,789
Yes. We're due for our routine
six-month inspection.
320
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:41,667
Be sure and tell me
when he gets here.
321
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:45,588
Oh, don't worry.
I have a feeling he'll be in touch.
322
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:48,966
- Ooh.
- Guys, guys, we're going nuts here.
323
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,677
I tell you, man,
it's just sheer luck
324
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,971
that no one was hurt
in this situation,
325
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:55,890
other than Rebecca.
326
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:58,184
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
327
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,353
- This might be part of Gary's master plan.
- What?
328
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,271
- What?
- Keep us on the edge, put us off balance.
329
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:05,358
Yeah. Mr. Clavin's right.
I think Gary's probably playing with us,
330
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,485
like a rat with a mouse.
331
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:11,322
That's a cat and mouse, Woody.
Cat and mouse.
332
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,491
Sam, a cat and a mouse
don't play together.
333
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:14,909
They're mortal enemies.
334
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,953
They don't even
know the same games.
335
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,374
Think before you speak, Sam.
336
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,460
All right, all right,
but what do we do about Gary?
337
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,879
What are we supposed to do,
just sit here and wait and worry?
338
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,756
Well, what other
choice do we have?
339
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:29,882
Fail-safe.
340
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,092
- What?
- Huh?
341
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:32,260
Sure. Fail-safe.
342
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:34,303
Our situation here greatly parallels
343
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,180
that film of the early 1960s
344
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:39,559
that delighted and disturbed
audiences of that time.
345
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,519
So your idea is
we schneid ourselves
346
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,521
before Gary does it to us?
347
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,315
Do something to ourselves
to get back
348
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:47,900
for what we did to Gary?
349
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,860
Oh, that's crazy.
Come on.
350
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,696
No, no.
Wait a minute.
351
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:54,532
It might just convince Gary
not to do anything to us.
352
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:57,618
We'd be the master
of our own fate.
353
00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:01,205
And, fellas, bottom line is,
we'd be getting it over with.
354
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:03,040
- All right.
- What do you think?
355
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,792
I buy it.
All right. Sammy's right.
356
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,669
I say we screw ourselves!
357
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:07,920
Screw ourselves!
358
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,755
Screw ourselves!
Screw ourselves!
359
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,555
Carla, where are Sam
and Woody?
360
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,307
Oh, you'll find out
soon enough.
361
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:23,144
Don't worry your flat
little head about it.
362
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,687
You did not
answer my question,
363
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:28,524
and for your information,
my head is not flat.
364
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,742
All right,
but it is not little.
365
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:47,710
Say, Carla,
where's the inner circle?
366
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:51,130
Oh, Sammy and the guys
had to do something,
367
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,548
but they'll be back soon.
368
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,342
Oh, don't tell me
I missed something.
369
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:55,968
No, no.
370
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,887
Now, Carla, I expressly posted
my beeper number.
371
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,139
If anything juicy happens,
I'm to be paged.
372
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,726
Frasier, an observation.
373
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:06,812
You are spending
way too much time here.
374
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,610
So, how was your night off?
375
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,320
Bet you spent a lot of time
376
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,988
worrying about
that kid of yours.
377
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,698
No, not a bit.
We had a wonderful time.
378
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:18,991
We knew he was in good hands,
379
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,160
so we just sat back
and relaxed.
380
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:24,288
We had a much needed,
healthy night away from him.
381
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:26,749
That's terrific.
382
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,751
Oh, by the way,
your sitter called and she said
383
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,003
that Frederick
rolled over by himself
384
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,505
for the first time.
385
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,006
What? And we missed it?
386
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,175
We must be the worst
parents in the world.
387
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,885
Frasier, let's rush home,
388
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:40,763
fall to our knees
and beg his forgiveness.
389
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,891
I'll never get over this,
not until the day I die!
390
00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:47,770
New parents,
they're always suckers for that gag.
391
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:54,110
Well, my friends,
we did it.
392
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:55,861
We've saved the bar.
393
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,989
- Yay!
- Yahoo!
394
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:00,282
Where's the photographer?
395
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:01,492
Are you the guys?
396
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,035
No. We are the men!
397
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,955
Now take a photograph
of us in all our glory here.
398
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:08,666
Gentlemen, step
right up here in a line.
399
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,668
Right. Yeah. There we go.
400
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:14,213
Okay, smile, men.
This is for the Sunday paper.
401
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,673
Fellas, count of three.
402
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,174
One...
403
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,259
Two...
404
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,885
Three.
405
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:30,938
And here we go.
406
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:37,695
Okay, got it.
Thanks, guys.
407
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:40,948
Hope it grows back.
Doesn't always, you know.
408
00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:43,534
Man, you guys!
409
00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:45,202
You know, when I dreamed
this gag up,
410
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,455
I never thought you were
gonna go through with it.
411
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:51,292
I just thought you'd get
some rubber skullcaps or something.
412
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,669
Hey, come on,
give us a little credit here, will ya?
413
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:56,881
When a man has
a dirty job to do, he does it.
414
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:59,008
Wait a minute.
what's that behind your ear?
415
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:00,426
-Nothing.
- No, no, no, no.
416
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,344
No, no, what's that--
417
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:05,806
Hey, hey!
What the hell?
418
00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:08,934
Guys, we're talking
about my hair.
419
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:12,146
Oh, yeah. So?
420
00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:13,939
Without my hair,
I'd be just...
421
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,358
Just one of you guys.
422
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:17,943
Pardon me, Sammy,
if that fails
423
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,279
to bring a tear to my eye!
424
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:23,324
Fellas, I tried to do it,
I swear to God
425
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:25,117
but, man, I love my hair.
426
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:28,245
All right, fine, listen,
if you got a problem with this,
427
00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:29,830
just step outside right now.
428
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:33,292
Hang on a second,
here, huh?
429
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,586
What are we doing
to ourselves?
430
00:21:35,753 --> 00:21:38,339
I mean, it's bad enough
that Gary made us look like fools
431
00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:40,007
and now we're fighting
amongst ourselves?
432
00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:42,635
This is not
part of the deal.
433
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:45,137
Yeah, Woody's right.
434
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,222
Thank you, Mr. Peterson.
435
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:48,265
Now, let's just relax,
436
00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:49,975
shave Sam's head,
and discuss this rationally.
437
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,895
Hey! Get off me!
438
00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:55,439
Hey, guys, listen up, listen up.
I've got great news.
439
00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:56,982
- Yeah, listen up.
- Now, listen,
440
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,068
There's no need to retaliate
against ourselves.
441
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:00,361
What do you mean?
442
00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:02,988
Gary's has been closed
for the last month.
443
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,616
He's in Florida while his place
is being remodeled
444
00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:08,369
and he wasn't open
on Saint Patrick's Day.
445
00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:11,163
He doesn't even know
you guys did anything to him.
446
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,790
Isn't that a howl?
447
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,671
This is the worst thing
Gary's ever done.
448
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:21,173
We have got to teach
Gary a lesson.
449
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:26,053
He must never
do nothing again.
450
00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:27,847
Men, there's only
one thing left to do.
451
00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:29,139
Get Gary!
452
00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:30,724
Get Gary!
Get Gary!
453
00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:33,102
Get Gary!
Get Gary!
454
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:35,938
- First, we shave Sammy!
- No, get Gary!
455
00:22:36,105 --> 00:22:38,399
Shave Sammy!
Shave Sammy!
456
00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:40,734
Get Gary!
Get Gary!
457
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:43,112
- Get Gary!
- Shave Sammy!
31731
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