All language subtitles for Cheers.S06E20.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Payday. Payday.

Sam, Carla, Woody.

Oh, come to papa, baby.
Boy, have I got plans for you.

No kidding, what are you gonna do?

Put it in the bank.

Oh, don't get arrested, buddy.

Hey, Shoulder Pads, freeze.

- Yes, Carla?
- I seem to be a little short.

Yes, but you have
a warm personality.

When you added up my paycheck,
I think you forgot

to count a couple of fingers and toes.

Oh, I'm afraid I had to dock you
two and three-quarters hours

for being late last week.

I had good excuses.

Three deaths in the family
since Monday?

It's been a bad week.

Carla, here's a little
time-management trick that I use.

I set my watch ahead a half an hour.

That way, when I think I'm getting
someplace on time,

I'm actually fooling myself
into getting there early.

You know, that makes
good business sense, boss.

I guess if I set my watch
an hour ahead,

- it'd be twice as good, huh?
- Right.

Hey, what do you know,
it's lunchtime.

No wonder I'm so hungry.

What you reading, Cliff ie?

The Massachusetts Scientific Journal.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

You know, this magazine is sent
to some of the most prestigious

and high-minded intellectuals
in the greater metropolitan area.

How come you have it?

Some guy on my route left town
and didn't leave a forwarding address.

Oh, hey, Carla, lookie here.

It says the Britain institute's
doing research on twins.

Maybe you can get

your gruesome twosome
in there, huh?

Yeah, right,
like I got nothing better to do

than schlep little Elvis
and Jesse around.

Especially so some pointy-heads
can plug electrodes into their skulls

to see what makes them slobber.

That's too bad.
They're offering 50 bucks apiece.

I always wondered
what makes them slobber.

Sorry I'm late.

Where's Sam?

He's upstairs having lunch
with Evan dreck.

Oh, God, Mr. Drake shows up
on a day that I'm late?

Well, don't worry, I covered for you.
Told him you were drunk.

What does this mean?

When did Evan
start taking Sam to lunch?

When did the two of them
become good friends?

When did I start talking to myself?

Hey, maybe he's gonna put Sam
in charge of the bar again.

What? Don't make me laugh.

Sam, I'm serious
about that offer, now.

I wanna move you up.
What do you say?

Oh, boy, sounds tempting.

The more I see you behind that bar,
the more convinced I am

that your talents are being wasted.

Yeah, I know, but they
won't let me bring a bed in here.

Yes, boy, thank you.

- Great, great.
- Of course I will.

I'll get the ball rolling.

Hello, Mr. Drake.
It's so wonderful to see you again.

Yeah, I'm gonna use your phone.

You scum-sucking,
power-hungry, backbiting creep.

- You stole my job.
- No, come on, that's not true.

But I will bite your back
for you if you want.

Oh, well, then what were you talking
to Evan about?

He offered me an executive position
down at headquarters.

You scum-sucking,
power-hungry, backbiting creep.

Hi, Mr. Drake.
I was just congratulating Sam.

Great. It's all set, Sam.

Hey, listen,
I'm really excited about this,

but are you sure that I'm qualified?

I mean, you know,
I never even finished college.

- How far did you get?
- Halfway through the application.

- I still have it here.
- No, that's okay. You're qualified.

- See you tomorrow.
- All right.

Something funny is going on here.

Why did he hire Sam?

Why is he making him an executive?
What's the matter with me?

Well, for one thing, Miss Howe,
you talk to yourself an awful lot.

Mr. Malone, I hate to rush you,
but people are waiting.

Have you made a decision yet?

Yes, Mimi, I have.

I'll take the tuna on toast
with iced tea.

Got it.

Oh, and after lunch,
we'll finish the memo I was drafting.

Where did we leave off?

"To Whom it May Concern."

Boy, I like the way that sounds.

Mr. Malone, some gentlemen
are here to see you

from the firm of
Peterson, Clavin and Boyd.

Peterson, Clavin and Boyd.

Mimi, tell them

I'm in an important meeting
and can't see them, please.

Oh, I can't believe it.

Hey, get in here, you mugs.

Hey, look at you!

Sam, don't be nice, now.
If you really have a meeting,

- we don't wanna bother you.
- No, come on. Get in here.

- Major corporate digs, buddy.
- Yeah.

Talk about your office in the sky.

Hey, oh, hey, lookit down there.

There's a guy washing windows.

That's one job you wouldn't catch me
doing for all the bridges in Bridgeport.

Standing on a platform there,
suspended hundreds of feet

- over certain death.
- You said it.

Let's throw something at him
and scare him, huh?

Hey, you know, actually,
these windows don't open.

You're in what's called
a climate-controlled office.

- Very impressed, Sam.
- Yeah.

Hey, Sammy, you do look every inch
the corporate muckety-muck there.

- Doesn't he?
- Well, you know, I don't wanna brag.

Mimi, get in here
and brag for me, will you?

Just kidding, Mimi.

While I have you,
Mr. Drake is on his way over.

Oh, guys, I'm sorry.

Oh, sure, sure.
That's okay. That's all right.

We're late for our
next appointment anyway, boys.

- Yeah.
- Where is that?

It's at the bottom
of the lobby escalator,

watching the secretaries
go up to the lunchroom.

All aboard for the Underalls Express.
Now leaving, Track 29.

You mugs.

- Sam.
- Oh, hey, Evan, yeah.

I'm sorry.
I was engrossed in my work.

Just came to check on you.
How are you doing?

It looks like you're making yourself
at home here.

Desk, supplies, huh?

And the requisite picture of your...

...self.

It's not really a great one,
but it's the only big one I have.

Yeah, well, you're all set then, huh?

Yeah, oh, yeah.
Full steam ahead. Take no prisoners.

- Excellent. All right.
- You know, I...

I do have one little question, though.

Shoot.

What do I do?

Yes. Well, now, yours being
a newly created position,

your responsibilities, as yet,
are not clearly defined.

- All right, that helps.
- Yeah.

- But we're looking for your input.
- input, gotcha. All right.

Listen, I'm gonna be late
for lunch, so...

...we'll talk later
at softball practice, huh?

- Oh, hey, we got a softball team?
- Oh, yeah, all the corporations do it.

It's a lot of fun.
Very casual. Wear cleats.

Hey, I'll have lots of input
for you then, sir.

Okay, all right.

Input, input.

Let's see here.

Mimi, call Maintenance.

Sports, ridiculous.

Stupid Sam.

What? An executive?

I'm sorry, are you talking to me?

No, I was talking to my...

Yes, I was.

So you say that they did
make Sam an executive?

- Oh, absolutely.
- Yeah, yeah.

Giving him the red-carpet treatment
over there.

He's a regular Armand Hammer.

Oh, that reminds me.

I gotta change the baking soda
in my refrigerator.

Hi, everybody.

I just got back from twin-testing,
and I would like to announce

that I now like science
100 bucks more than I used to.

- All right.
- I found out that little Elvis

is a lot more aggressive
in certain situations than Jesse.

Or is it vice versa?

Who cares? Not these twins.

People, I have an announcement.

Mr. Sam Malone, the newest member
of the corporate softball team,

just pitched a shutout
against General Electric.

I tell you, I love pinning back
the ears of a Fortune 500 company.

Makes you proud to be
part of the corporation, doesn't it?

Hey, you know, I never knew
that you were a cheerleader.

Although I've always admired
your pompoms.

Sam, why does your jersey
say "Heppel" on the back?

Some guy who used to work
for the company.

They haven't had time
to order mine yet.

Supply problems.

- Supply problems.
- Yeah.

Guess that happens a lot
in large corporations.

You know, Sam, they were really lucky
to get you on the team.

You wanna know how lucky?

They just made the playoffs
the day before they hired me.

Oh, my God. I finally figured it out.

Life makes sense
and I am not crazy.

Well, that's only a layman's opinion.

Sam is a ringer.

Evan just hired him
to win the championship.

In two weeks, he'll be out of there.

Now, Rebecca,
you can't tell him that.

At least let the man enjoy
his day in the sun.

All right. Sam has taken
enough hard knocks this year.

No, it's pleasure enough
for me to just know.

I won't break his heart.

Oh, hey, Rebecca?

The guys decided that
you could be our cheerleader

on one condition,

lose the bra.

I won't break his heart.

I will rip it from his chest.

Here are those copies
of your report, Mr. Malone.

Oh, great, you got colored paper.

Hey, look at that.

Lots of input.

Am I interrupting anything?

Oh, hey, Rebecca.
No, come on in.

Thank you, Mimi.

Well, Rebecca,
welcome to the executive office.

Would you like to have a seat
in the executive chair there?

Or maybe
on the executive sofa,

or how about
the executive lap?

No, but seriously,
what brings you down to corporate?

Oh, I have a little information
about your promotion,

and I'm gonna really enjoy
sharing with you.

Oh, yeah, listen,

before you do, there's something
I wanna talk to you about too.

Sit down, please.

I just wanna say that I'm sorry,

you know, for teasing you
the way I did and everything.

I know we both had
a lot of fun with it,

but it wasn't right.

- That's okay. I just wanted to tell you...
- No, see, it wasn't okay.

I mean, absolutely not. I...

I think I was just trying to, you know,
show off in front of the guys.

Truth is,

this is all kind of new to me.

I keep expecting someone
to come and say,

"Malone, job's over, you're through.
Get out of here. It's a big joke."

- Good. Is it my turn now?
- No, in a second.

You know, the first thing that I did

when I was alone in the office here,

I called my father

who I hadn't talked to
for over three years.

And when I told him
where I was sitting,

and what I was looking out at,
and what my title is,

for the first time ever,

he told me
how proud he was of me.

Anyway, what are you dying
to tell me here?

Just that we are
darn proud of you too.

Oh, thank you.
God, that's great, thank you.

Hey, get a load of this.

My folks, their wedding anniversary
is next month.

I'm gonna fly them in here

and I'm gonna give them
the grand tour.

- I just can't wait to see their faces.
- Stop.

What?

Sam, I didn't wanna
have to tell you this,

but now I have to.

All right, all right,
what have you got?

I did want to have to tell you this,
but I wanted to enjoy it.

Now you've ruined that
and I have to tell you anyway.

You're not gonna be here
next month.

What do you mean?

Malone, you're a ringer.

Oh, I did like doing it a little bit.

What do you mean, ringer?

I mean that Evan just hired you
to win the championship.

And when that's over, you're history.

Oh, boy.

I should have expected this.

Sam, it's just the way
of the business world.

No, I mean that you are jealous.

How petty of you.
I can't believe this.

You know, the fact that I play baseball
has nothing to do with this job.

I am a good executive.

You know, you are way off base.
I'm gonna prove it to you. Mimi.

Get Mr. Drake
on the phone right away.

- Right away, Mr. Malone.
- Sam, you don't have to do this.

- I was hired for a lot of reasons.
- Like what?

I'll tell you like what.
Like this report, for example.

This sucker is loaded with input.

Sam, as one friend to another,

I really am just trying to
do you a favor.

Mr. Drake is still in a sales meeting.

What do you mean a sales meeting?
Why aren't I there?

I'm the eastern... the western...
I'm the southwest...

I'm the eastern regional
sales manager.

I don't know, but he said
to rest up your arm

because you're starting tonight.

Well, it's just probably some mix-up.

You know, maybe I missed
a memo or something.

I'm gonna go
straighten this out right now.

Don't you have a job to go to
or something?

Mimi, call Maintenance.

All right, have your people coordinate
with Marketing,

we'll get this campaign
on the boards.

Will do.

- Sorry I'm late.
- I guess that about wraps it up.

Say, before you go, I just wanna say

that I'm really backed up
with paperwork

and won't be able
to make the game tonight.

Can't make the game?
Hey, wait a minute, Evan.

I didn't give up my office two weeks
to let this guy do paperwork.

- Easy, Heppel.
- Heppel?

What, you're Heppel?

I thought that you were supposed...

Oh, boy, I am a ringer.

That's right.
I'm right, aren't I? I'm a ringer?

I'm gonna be straight with you, Sam.

Sure, we originally hired you
to pitch for the softball team,

but actually, you've turned out to be
somewhat of a surprise.

Yeah, you're a much better hitter
than we anticipated.

Man, this really bites it.

I mean, here I thought
you wanted me for my mind,

and it turns out you just wanted me
for my body.

Where have I heard that before?

Is it really that bad, Sam?

You make good money, everyone
here likes you. What's the problem?

The problem is that as soon as
softball season's over, I'm out of here.

You don't have to be.
We'll find a place for you.

I mean, softball season next year.

No, you know,
if I'm gonna stay here,

I want it to be for legitimate reasons.
I mean, come on, Evan.

At least look at my report.

Now, if you think that I have
what it takes after looking at that,

to be an executive right here,
right now, the way I am,

then, you know, then fine.
But otherwise, I think,

you know, we should
just shake hands like gentlemen

and part company.

Lock up your women.
Sammy's back.

- Hey.
- Hey, Sam.

Sam, you know,
sorry to hear about the termination.

Yeah, tough luck, pal.

Yeah, hey, easy come, easy go.

No, the truth is, it was a shock.

But then I went into
the executive washroom,

and I splashed some water on my face
and I looked in the mirror

and the mirror looked back and said,

"You're not an executive, man.
Get back to where you belong."

- All right.
- Yeah.

I thought they only had mirrors like that
in the movies.

It's good to be back.

Well, Miss Howe
will sure be relieved.

She said you'd be shattered
and we should all be nice to you.

She did, huh?

Well, maybe I ought to go
set her mind at ease.

Hi, Rebecca.

How are you, Sam?

Well, I'm kind of shattered.

I was afraid you might be.

Do you mind if I stay in here
for just a while?

It's kind of hard for me to go back
out there after what happened.

I feel so humiliated.

You just take as long as you need.

Would you like to talk about it?

You mean, about how bad I feel?

Yeah, you know,
sometimes that helps.

Well, I feel pretty bad.

So...

...bad.

I know. And I feel terrible
that I had to tell you.

Oh, there's no sense in us
both feeling so bad.

I just hate to see you like this.

You know,
sometimes these things happen,

but you will always
have your job here.

Oh, it's not just losing the job.

It's that I was, you know,
taken advantage of.

I know. I know.

You know, that I was used.

That I was just, you know,
manipulated by somebody

who just cynically wanted
to get something from me.

Malone, what are you doing?

I'm feeling bad.

No, you are feeling pretty good.

Okay, I admit it.
I'm not a sad guy.

I'm a happy, horny guy.

You know, we need pity too.

Oh, God, you are choice, Malone.

You are just really choice.

You will do anything
for a roll in the hay.

If you will play on my sympathies,
then you will stoop to anything.

God, I am tired of fighting you.

I just don't have the strength
to do it anymore.

If this is what you really want,

then by all means.

Take me here,
take me now, please.

Are you serious?

Oh, yes, I want it bad.

Well, all right.

Is something wrong?

Oh, nothing. Oh, baby.

Let me get this straight.

Is this what I can expect
in the way of full participation?

Until I get tired.

Was it good for you?