All language subtitles for Cheers.S06E07.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Let's just concentrate
on the left side, okay?

- Yeah.
- We have a boy.

No, no, no, wait, it's a girl.

It's a boy again. This is weird.

All right, maybe it's a girl. I--

You're still trying to figure out
what Carla is, huh?

No, Cliff, we're trying to find out
what sex my babies are.

If the ring goes back and forth,
it's a boy.

If it goes around in a circle,
it's a girl.

And if it just dangles there
doing nothing, it's a Clavin.

I can tell you something
we used to do on the farm.

We'd take a fresh-laid chicken egg
and we'd put it on a spoon

and hold it over
the woman's stomach.

If it dipped down, it was female,
if not, male.

Yeah? So how often did you
predict the sex of the babies?

Never, this was to predict
the sex of the chicken.

You take a spoon, right?
And you hold it over...

Good afternoon, everybody.

Sam, you got room
for one more toss pot?

Yeah.

- Let me have a beer, will you?
- You betcha.

How you been there, Frasier?

You know how it is
for a psychiatrist this day and age.

Divorces, hopelessness over
financial situations, rampant paranoia.

Thriving, never better.

Oh, and get this.
I just heard a little bit of information

about someone
with whom we're all acquainted.

Is it juicy?

Well, yes.

- Could it embarrass someone?
- Oh, most definitely.

- Is it me?
- No.

Spill it.

Well, I had lunch today
with an ex-colleague of mine

who attended
the University of Connecticut

at the same time
as a certain Miss Rebecca Howe.

Now, it seems that
this particular Rebecca Howe

was known as, well, let's just say it,
the party girl on campus.

Our Rebecca? Miss Granite Panties?

The one who goes through life
with her knees bolted together?

- There's gotta be a mistake.
- Yeah.

So does anyone know
what college ours went to?

It wouldn't surprise me one bit
if it was Rebecca.

No, no, I mean,
it's those quiet, reserved types

who, when properly stimulated,

turn into your average
churning hunk of burning funk.

Cliff ie, can you tell me exactly
at what point in your life

you came to that big fork in the road
where reality took a left

and you hung a sharp right?

Excuse me,
is there a Cliff Clavin here?

Would Mr. Clavin know
what this is about?

Yeah, I'm a neighbor of his,
Jim McNulty.

- His mother said he'd be here.
- All right, just a minute.

Mr. Clavin,
are you here for a Jim McNulty?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

You know how it is. Some guys in bars
don't like you to know they're here.

Hey, Cliff, remember me?

Yeah, yeah, Jim McNulty,
you own the house down the corner.

You ever gonna take
those Christmas lights down?

Yeah, as soon as a weekend goes by
you don't have another garage sale.

Listen, I-- I've been going around
to good neighbors like yourself

hoping I can get your support.

Well, what am I looking at here?

It's a petition agreeing not to sell out
to these big developers

who've been trying to buy up
our houses and build mini malls.

Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo.

You know, new development
only increases property values.

I wouldn't sign that petition
if you beat me senseless.

It may be too late,
but let's give it a try.

You know,
I'll never understand people like you.

You got no conscience,
no sense of community.

No interest in keeping
our neighborhood beautiful.

If you wanna beautify
the neighborhood,

why don't you stay indoors?

Yeah, at least
I don't live with my mother.

I don't blame you,
I've seen your mother.

Yeah, my mother's a saint.

- Yeah, Saint Bernard.
- Oh, yeah?

Forget it.

Yeah, I'm out of luck.
Somebody's already using the pool table.

The lady in question.

Sam, find out
where she went to college.

Yeah, okay.

- Afternoon, Sam.
- Hey, boss.

- How's business today?
- Oh, pretty slow.

Me and the guys are
just sitting around talking about

where everybody went to college.

You were?

Well, I was wondering
what it'd be like to go to college.

Well, picture a place
with 20,000 people

all acting the way you do.

Sounds like fun. Listen,

where did you go to college?

The University of Connecticut.

Hey, am I missing something here?

No, no, no, not at all.

We're just such big fans
of their football team.

You know,
the Fighting insurance Salesmen.

Boy, oh, boy, don't you just love
this Yorkshire pudding, Ma?

It's a real delicacy.

The English didn't think so.

Actually, Yorkshire pudding
was invented

in the late 1770s
during a beef shortage.

A person could be given
a little bit of beef

and soak up the gravy
with the pudding,

thereby fooling his stomach
into thinking

he was having a fuller dinner
than he actually was.

And you wonder why
nobody asks us out anymore.

- So how was your day?
- Okay, Ma.

Oh, our neighbor Nut Butt McNulty
stopped in Cheers today.

He was circulating
some kind of petition.

- The one to stop development?
- Yeah.

I signed it.

- You did?
- Well, who in his right mind wouldn't?

Besides you, of course.

But, Ma, we're for progress here.

Clifford, if we don't stop these people,
we could lose our home.

Well, it's probably about time
we got out of this rattrap anyway.

Clifford, this rattrap is where you,

for want of a better term, grew up.

I think it's time
somebody looked at the scrapbook.

Oh, come on, Ma,
not the scrapbook.

Yes, Clifford, the scrapbook.

Misty watercolor memories
of the way we were.

Oh, look at this one.

No, Mom, I'm not gonna look.
You're not gonna get me this time.

Oh, we had fun that day.

Ma, it is not working.

Oh, I'd forgotten this one.

This has got to be the handsomest
picture of you I ever laid eyes on.

Which?

Oh, Ma, come on. That one--

My ears are even
covered with acne.

I'm your mother, Clifford.
I'm looking at your soul.

Oh, hey. Look, that's me,
sliding down the old banister.

I always thought you spent
entirely too much time doing that.

It was fun.

Oh, look, there's your
favorite hiding place in the closet.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- You used to be in there for hours.

It's because you always
locked the door on me, Ma.

Well, look at the result.
You're a very polite young man.

Oh, now, there's where we planted
the elm tree in the yard.

- Yeah.
- Oh, you named him Elmer.

And look at our Elmer now.
So tall and strong.

Just like my boy.

Yeah, yeah, I can remember
raising him from a sapling, Ma.

I even carved my first slingshot
out of his branches.

And cried every winter
when the leaves fell.

Yeah, yeah, you know,
that tree is like a brother to me, Ma.

Just imagine, you know,
something that I planted and I nurtured

is gonna be there
for future generations to enjoy.

Unless they chop it down
to put up a Jiffy Lube.

Come on, Ma.
They wouldn't do that, would they?

They'll do that
as soon as look at you.

Oh, Ma. No, they won't.

No, they're not gonna
cut down my tree.

And they're not gonna touch
this house either.

And they're not gonna take our land.

That's my boy.
Where are you going?

Oh, well, it may sound
a little bit silly and all, Ma,

but I'm gonna go out there
and sit in my tree.

You go right ahead.

Never fails.

Well, interestingly enough,
Yorkshire pudding was invented

in the 1700s during a beef shortage.

All right, stop everything.
I've got a major news flash.

I just had lunch with Miss Howe's
former college classmate,

and it seems that she had
a nickname at UConn.

Give, give.

Well, he wasn't sure
how she came by this appellation,

but it seems that at some point
during her little sojourn there,

she became known
as Back Seat Becky.

Boy, what do you suppose
that means?

- Woody, what that means is--
- Cliff, Cliff.

Why don't you let someone
who's been there tell it.

Wood, she likes to do
her cushion-pushing on four wheels.

Miss Howe? Really?

You know, back where I come from,

we used to say something
about girls like that.

- What?
- Let's date them.

Oh, lookit here.

Something tells me I'm gonna be
completely obnoxious about this.

- What's so funny?
- We were talking about nicknames.

You know, different funny nicknames
that people have.

- Did you ever have a nickname?
- As a matter of fact, no.

Really? Nothing, huh?

Not a Sparky or Lefty
or Bubba or something?

Sorry.

Guys, we ought to give
Rebecca here a nickname.

You know, something that kind of
fits her personality.

- All right.
- You know, kind of dignified,

kind of business-like.

Kind of reserved.

Let me think.

Anybody?

Back Seat Becky.

Gee, that-- That works for me.

I kind of liked Bubba.

Oh, God.

And you probably know
the whole sordid story.

Well, actually, no.

- Well, that's because there isn't one.
- Come on. Don't worry about that.

Listen, the truth is,
I'm looking to buy a new car

and I need an expert opinion.

Now, what model do you think
has the best rear shocks?

Have you driven a Ford lately?

I guess she gives new meaning
to the term "four on the floor."

All right, all right. if you insist
on an explanation, I will give it to you.

You know how sometimes as a joke

you call someone the exact opposite
of what they really are?

Well, I was really shy in college,

so my friends thought it would be
a huge gas to call me Back Seat Becky.

Well, it's simple, it's logical,

and we don't believe it for a second.

Hey, wait a minute, I believe her.

Us virgins have to stick together.

I told you the truth.

If you don't wanna believe it, fine.
Just believe whatever you want.

All right, here's the real truth.

I was very aggressive in college,
a real go-getter.

I never took a back seat to anyone.

No, no, no.

No, Mr. Cronin, I'm not listening.
The case is closed.

I'm not taking any offers,
and that's final.

I'm sorry if I've upset you,
Mrs. Clavin.

Clifford, would you tell this gentleman,
please, we're not selling our house.

I was just trying to make an offer
on your house,

and your mother won't listen.

Well, that's because she has got
more sense in her bony little frame

than you have in your little finger.

Reverse that.

You are not gonna run
the Clavins off our land.

I don't care what you offer us.
You just can't put a price on love,

family, or on memories.

Take it or leave it, 250,000.

Two hundred and--
Oh, my God, we're rich.

But, Ma-- Ma, you can't do this.

A Clavin cannot be bought off.

I'm only a Clavin by marriage,
Clifford.

Oh, guys, you gotta help me.
She's gonna go through with this.

Well, why don't you offer
to buy the place back?

Sammy, say, I don't have
enough money for a down payment.

Oh, wait a minute, can either
of you guys lend me $50,000?

I'm sorry, Cliff, you never paid me back
that million from last week.

Well, it's been a pleasure
doing business with you, Mrs. Clavin.

Thank you.

There, there, there!
Now what are you gonna do?

Well, first I'm going to take
this contract down to the office.

Then I'm gonna call my wife

and ask her what I'm supposed
to pick up at the grocery store.

Oh, Ma. But after all
we've been through together.

Just last night you were saying
how much the house meant to you.

Last night I was poor,
tonight I'm not.

I never thought I'd have the chance,
but now I can go to Florida.

Florida? Oh, for crying out loud.

Who would ever wanna live
in that stink hole?

Clifford, I'm doing this as much for you
as I am for myself.

You're 39 years old.
It's time to cut the cord.

Oh, Ma, I'm not leaving that house.

- Clifford--
- I am not leaving that house.

Well, I'm afraid
you're gonna have to.

Oh, yeah, fine.
Yeah, go off by yourself.

See how you like it. Yeah, after a week
of cooking your own meals,

doing your own dishes,
washing your own hair, you'll be back.

Oh, well, well, well,
if it isn't the ultimate driving machine.

Okay, okay, I give up.

Look, I'll tell you the real story,

but it's kind of personal,
so can we do this in private?

Sure, you bet, you bet.

Say, if you're too embarrassed
to say something, feel free to act it out.

I was living in a women's dorm
on campus,

and one night a fire broke out.

Well, I didn't have time
to change,

so I had to run out into the parking lot
wearing only a teddy.

Black, but see-through.

All of a sudden I was caught
in this fire engine's headlights.

I didn't know what to do.

I looked all around and suddenly
I spotted this open convertible.

I climbed and I slunk down
into the back seat.

Suddenly, this hulking fireman
was standing over me.

He was magnificent.

I looked in his eyes.

I knew what he wanted,
and I wanted it too.

I peeled off
his black rubber raincoat.

He ripped off my teddy.

I can still feel the heat on my flesh...

...but it wasn't the fire,
it was us.

When it was over, I opened my eyes
and I noticed we weren't alone.

Others had watched
and not said a word.

And that's why I'm known
as Back Seat Becky.

Satisfied?

Thanks for the story, Carla.
Here's your 10 bucks.

Yeah, the $20 one
would've killed him.

So wait a minute, wait a minute,

why do they call you
Back Seat Becky?

That'll cost you a hundred.

Hey, you know, you're kind of a pig.

Maybe we can be friends.

Excuse me,
I've got to find Norm Peterson.

Mr. Peterson know
what this is about?

Never mind, there he is.

- Norman.
- Hi.

- You've got to help me, I'm desperate.
- Why?

Cliff's locked himself in the house.

No, I've tried everything.
He won't budge.

Ours is the last house on the block
scheduled for demolition.

And that's today.

I'm at my wit's end,
you've got to help me.

I'll talk to him, I'll see what I can do.

Oh, thank you, Norm.
I hope he doesn't try anything crazy.

The last thing on earth I want to see

is my son's face
on the 11 o'clock news.

There's a whole city out there
that agrees with you.

--The world's biggest ass!

Clifford, now take off
those silly handcuffs.

I can't.

I flushed the key.

Norman, go outside
and see if you can find some tin snips.

Ask for Biff.
He loaned us the hardhats.

Clifford, sometimes
I really worry about you.

Look what they did to Elmer.

I'm sorry, dear, but what can we do?

Come on, Ma,
you're the one that taught me

that if you believe in something,
if you really want it,

then you're just
gonna have to fight for it.

The house is sold.
They're gonna tear it down.

Well, then I am going down with it.

Clifford, does this house
really mean that much to you?

Yeah, Ma. Yeah, it really does.

Then it means that much to me too.

I don't know what we'll do.

We'll find a lawyer.

We're gonna fight this together.
We'll save our home.

- Oh, Ma, together? Really?
- Really, son.

Wait, wait, wait! What are
you gonna do with that thing?

Oh, I'm cutting your handcuffs off.

Well, that's a little bit dangerous.

No, no, I'm wearing a hardhat.

Heck with the hardhat.
Get that thing away from me!

Cut the post.

Isn't that a little drastic?

No, Ma, I think we're gonna
remodel in here anyway.

There. I think we're gonna
beat this thing.

So do I.

Now, we're going to find a lawyer.

But first I wanna treat you boys
to a Popsicle.

What was that?

Probably just a squirrel on the roof.

Big one.

Ma, go!

Imagine, we got a quarter
of a million for this dump.