All language subtitles for Cheers.S05E20.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

What are you doing there, Norm?

Vera signed me up to give a speech
at her women's auxiliary club.

- I hate public speaking.
- Yeah, you're not alone there, pal.

Yeah, it's awful, you know? You--

You're standing there in front of
a group of total strangers...

Palms sweating, your throat dry.

Your mouth feels like
it's full of cotton.

Your knees practically buckling.

It could be a miserable experience.

- So... what's the topic?
- "Poise, the key to success."

Thanks, Mom. Yeah, don't worry about it.

I'll find somebody to sit for the kids.

Bye.

- She can't do it?
- She's scared to.

Maybe I'll watch
the kids for you, Carla.

It's not fair. This always happens to me
when I have a date on a weeknight.

- Who's the lucky guy?
- My butcher.

Oh, yeah? What happened to Eddie?

Eddie's in Vancouver.
My butcher's three blocks down.

Life is short.

I wouldn't mind looking after
your kids for you, Carla.

What am I gonna do now, huh?

Well, I'd do it,
but I'm working on Wednesday.

Yeah.

Yeah, Vera and I would love to,
but we have this thing Wednesday night.

Yeah, Diane and I have a thing, too.

- Yeah.
- Maybe it's the same thing.

- I don't think so.
- Oh, no.

I'm... I'm not busy Wednesday.

Well, guess I'm gonna have to
cancel my date.

Well, is this a day to press
in your memory books, or what?

Well, you guys sound pretty chipper.

Shall I tell them, Lilith?

Out with it, or I'm liable
to burst with anticipation.

Drs. Sternin and Crane
are proud to announce

that they are now officially
POTOSSLQ's.

It means "persons of the opposite sex
sharing living quarters."

Yes.

You see, it's a little
lovers in-joke we picked up

from a Census Bureau acronym.

I love those.

Well, man, that's great.

- Congratulations.
- Yes. Yes.

This is quite a surprise.

You've only known each other
a few months,

and you're moving in together.

That's pretty impetuous.

Well, a week ago we decided
to take a chance on cohabitation,

but we waited a week
before announcing the news

so as to avoid putting any undo pressure

on the success or failure
of the endeavor.

And now we are pleased to announce
the effort a limited success.

Yes. Pretty darn impetuous.

Well, we thought that the two of you
were responsible

for Lilith and I finding each other
in this cockeyed world,

so we... we thought we'd like
to have you over for dinner

on Wednesday night
as our very first guests.

- Why, we'd be honored.
- Yeah, I'll be there.

Great, we'll get away from
the Hurly-burly of this place

and concentrate completely
on the lost art of conversation.

I'll be there anyway.

All right, Wednesday night it is, then.

Shall we say... what? 8:00-ish?

Wonderful.

You don't know how happy this makes me.

So, you and Diane have this thing
Wednesday night, huh?

Why don't you just come out and say it?!

You don't want to spend
an evening alone with my kids.

We don't want to spend an evening alone
with your kids.

Neither do I.

Well, what choice do I have?

Carla, I think Cliff might be interested
in watching them.

What are you doing Wednesday night?

Pumping iron.

Okay, Cliff, you're up.

Be at my house Wednesday at 6:00,

but remember, you asked for it.

Obviously she doesn't think
that I can handle the kids.

Yeah, but my guess is
that they'll settle down

once they're confronted
with a strong male authority figure.

You're bringing your mom?

I'm home, sweet potato!

Just a moment, cinnamon bear.

How was your day?

I want to take you now by the dip.

You impulsive man,
we have guests coming.

Yes, I know.
It'll be our little joke on them.

Every time they say the word "dip,"
we'll become giddy with remembrance.

The word itself will become a syllable
filled with our overwhelming passion.

Dear, you're using sex
to express your aggression

toward the confines of polite society.

- Dip.
- I love it!

What is that heavenly aroma coming from
the kitchen?

- Dinner.
- Oh, yes, of course. Dinner.

Well, I'm sorry I'm late, by the way.

- I got--
- No explanation is necessary.

I know you far too well to have
expected you to be on time tonight.

Oh, right. Why is that?

Because I've learned that a certain
self-centered insensitivity

is a fundamental part
of your psychological makeup,

and it only endears you to me.

I'm so glad you shared that with me.

Of course, you can't
know everything about me.

I mean, who would have thought
that I'd enjoy living with you,

but here we are.

You didn't expect
to enjoy living with me?

Well, you do have
an uncompromising quality,

but a very attractive one it is, though.

Well, if you were hesitant, why do it?

Well, it's the way you arranged it,
isn't it?

It was your idea.

Yes, well, you see, you're forgetting
the passive-aggressive trick you have

of leading someone else into doing
something that you want to do,

thereby absolving yourself
of responsibility.

And very adorable it is,
too, my little parsnip.

Why do you insist on
displaying your magazines

in that insipid accordion design?

I'm sorry if this one little touch
of theatrical flair

is too much for your retentive nature.

We'll go into my retentive nature later.

For now, we have guests coming.

You know, I see what
you're trying to do here.

You want me to begin the argument
that you wish you could start yourself.

Well, I will not do it.

If you want to have an altercation,
you will have to--

How could you be late
on a night like this?!

Didn't you know I'd be nervous
making my first dinner in your house

while your stupid friends
are looking at me

and judging my every move?!

I'll never forgive you for this!

Never! Never! Never! Never!

Just a minute!

Darling, I think
that was a real breakthrough.

So come out of the bathroom,
and after dinner we'll build on it.

But our-- our guests are here now.

Dear heart? Darling?

Coming! Coming!

Hi! Come in. Come in.

I hope we're not early.

Oh, no, no, no.
Your timing is just perfect.

Boy, am I hungry.

- Sam!
- Well... you know.

So, where's your lovely
POTOSSLQ?

She's around somewhere.

Peace blossom?

Don't make yourself too beautiful.
I can hardly stand to look at you now!

Lilith, please come out, darling.
Please.

What was that?

Got something stuck in her--
contact lens.

Oh, I hate that.

Well, listen, here.
Come. Sit down. Relax.

Pour yourself some wine, whatever.
Just make yourselves comfortable.

Diane, could you hand me
that cheese knife, please?

Thank you, Diane.

Enjoy. I'll be right back.

What do you think you're doing?!

Might I have a little privacy?

We can resolve all this later,

but for now,
these people may be my friends,

but they are not the greatest
conversationalists in the world,

and I could use your help!

Good chips.

Lilith.

Welcome to our home.

I am so happy for the both of you.

Yeah, absolutely. Congratulations.
Yeah, that's great.

I love what you've done with this place.

Oh, yes. I love the masculine touches.

Thank you.

Say, that uh, that dip looks good.

- Dip?
- Dip?

Yeah, the... the dip.
Could you... pass it, please?

Yes, of course.
Be my guest. Here you are.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, that is great dip.

Yeah, yeah. Try it.

Delicious, Lilith.

Frasier, have you tried
some of Lilith's dip?

Yes, I have. Yes.

Well, then, I don't have to
tell you how good it is.

It's quite good.

Well, I don't mean to hog it here.

You guys look hungry. Help yourself.

So, Frasier...

Was it good for you, too?

What the hell's in this dip?

Well, may I...

...propose a toast?

To your house.

- Our house?
- Hear, hear.

Yes.

Our house

Oh, I love that.

Is a very, very, very fine house

With two cats in the yard

Life used to be so hard

Now, everything is easy 'cause of you

And our house

Is a very, very, very fine house

With two cats in the yard

Life used to be so hard

Et cetera, et cetera.

You know what I love
about your relationship?

No.

You never seem to have
an unexpressed thought.

Yeah, I've noticed that.

How do you maintain
that level of honesty?

Well, it's simple.

Frasier and I keep no secrets
from each other.

Come on.

You don't mean to tell me
you tell each other everything?

- Certainly.
- Exactly.

We've bared our souls to each other.

Now, no guy's gonna tell his
brand-new girlfriend

about all the women he...

You know.

But there must be no secrets
in that area.

That's where honesty counts most.

Gee, you know, I'm afraid I don't think
that's such a good idea.

You mean, the two of you,
planning marriage,

haven't already had this discussion?

Of course we have.

Well, Diane's told us
about both of hers,

and we're just about up to
the Johnson Administration on mine.

Seriously, though.
I-- I think that we're...

all entitled to our little secrets.

Why?

They only lead to embarrassment
when they're inevitably revealed.

Exactly.

I know I feel better knowing
that Frasier's told you

he and I were once engaged,

so I don't have to worry
about you discovering it

at some inopportune moment.

Like now, for instance.

Dear. Dear, I thought I told you
that Diane and I used to date.

Date, yes. That you had decided to marry

and spend the rest
of your life with her, no.

Semantics.

Then why were you afraid
to tell me that one detail?

Because she still means something
to you, doesn't she?

She means absolutely nothing to me.

I mean, if I notice her at all,
it's merely as an annoyance,

like a bug flying around in a room.

Diane, Diane, be a dear.

Would you grab me the cheese knife,
please?

Frasier, I'm sorry this happened,

but I think it would be
best for everyone

if you told her the truth.

Diane's right.

All right, all right.

Darling, I am going to tell you
the whole truth.

Out with it.

All right...

Diane and I were engaged
to be married, and...

...she left me at the altar.

The whole experience was so...

humiliating, I've just been trying
to forget it ever since.

Your feelings for her were genuine?

Yes.

And it's only on account of her action

that you're not married to her
at this very moment?

Well, I-- I never really
looked at it that way.

And if Sam were out of the picture,
you'd throw me over

- and run back to her, wouldn't you?
- I don't love her anymore.

You switch your passions on and off
very quickly, Dr. Crane.

- I do not!
- Then you do still love her.

- Well, I never did.
- You were going to marry her.

Maybe I just thought I loved her.

How do I know you don't
just think you love me?!

Well, I don't. I mean, I-- I did.
I-- I never--

I will not be grilled
like a common criminal!

Cheese knife?

All right. Thank you very much. Bye.

Ordering another round
for the corner table, honey.

All right, Corinne. Now, listen...

thanks a lot for subbing
at such short notice.

Hey, this is my life.

Well, it shouldn't...
it shouldn't be so bad, you know.

It's not really very crowded tonight.

That's what you said the last time.

When I got home, my can was dragging
this far off the ground.

Thanks for sharing that with us,
Corinne.

Well, that was Carla's daughter.

She said that the kids are gonna
drop off Mr. Clavin.

All right. All right.

I don't think her kids
are old enough to drive.

What was that?

- Cliff, buddy!
- Are you all right?

Wait, there's a note.

"Don't open until Christmas."

Shoot.

Now, look here, Lilith,
you needn't worry

about Frasier carrying a torch for me.

I assure you, he feels nothing
but resentment toward me.

He knows I was using him
to forget the real love I felt,

and feel, for Sam here.

Is there any more Chex mix?

You see, Sam is my real love.

I'm ashamed to say that Frasier
was a convenient dalliance on my part

at a time when I needed someone.

Anyone.

I'm sorry it was him.

So, essentially, Frasier was a toy

you played with briefly
and then threw away.

Well, it wasn't that bad.

A fellow human being
whose emotions you twisted

for your own satisfaction
with no consideration for his feelings.

Frasier had some fun.

We would speak nothing but French
on Sundays.

I heard it all.

How could I have been so blind?

Don't blame yourself.

That's right. You can't blame anyone
in these situations.

He can blame you.

Now, look here...

Our relationship was a 2-way street.

Yes, and I was run over
in both directions.

Oh, Frasier, you had fun.

Diane, I never had a whit of fun,
especially on Sundays!

And the only thing more egregious
than your French pronunciation

is your syntax!

- Dinner, everyone.
- Wait, wait, wait.

Come on, this whole thing
has gone on too far here.

Listen up.

See, this is what happens
when you open old wounds.

I mean, I don't know what happened
between Frasier and Diane,

but it seems to me
they had a little fun.

But they just weren't right
for each other.

But now that they've found somebody
that is right for them,

I think you both should be happy
for each other.

And leave it at that.

Je regretter, mes ami.

I'm sorry, too, Diane.
I don't know what came over me.

Diane, can you forgive me?

I'm the one who's sorry.

And happy for both of you.

Thank you.

- And thank you, Sam.
- Yes.

Well, I just thought it went on
long enough.

Besides, I--
I have to use the bathroom here.

Would anyone like some more lasagne?

No, thank you.
I think we've had our fill.

Fine, then I'll just get the coffee.

Lasagna?

I wasn't even thinking Italian.

Well, I was closest.
I said something with meat.

That will be all, then, Jill.

You can come by
and clean up in the morning.

Thank you, Dr. Sternin.

You mean you had someone back there
helping you with this?

With the side dishes, yes,
but at the risk of sounding immodest,

I have to take credit
for the lasagne myself.

- Oh, well--
- Well, bravo!

Well, shall we adjourn to the living
room for some coffee?

Nice.

May I propose another toast?

Why stop at seven?

Well, we have all learned
a valuable lesson this evening.

We shouldn't be frightened of the past
or of any affairs our lovers have had.

Indeed, we should be grateful
for those past experiences

because they've made him or her
the person we love today.

- Hear, hear.
- Well said.

Let me, uh,
fill some of these wine glasses here.

Sam Malone!
You beautiful man.

Where have you been keeping yourself?

Hey, Jill. How the hell you been?

Great. Just great.

Well, you still doing massage?

Just the way you like 'em.

Who's this, Sam?

You know, it's getting kind of late.
Maybe you ought to take off.

Bye-bye.

Why is it...

...that we cannot go to one single,
solitary place

in the entire city of Boston

without running into some woman
that you've had a fling with?

Come on, you're exaggerating here.

At the market, at the movies,

when we got our blood test,
for heaven's sake.

Well, what are we supposed to do, move?
I mean, come on.

Excuse me.

Now, don't-- no, don't-- don't go--

What are you so upset about?

I wasn't even dating you
when I went out with Jill.

That's when you were
living with Frasier.

She lived with you?

Well, only briefly...

You said you'd never lived
with anyone but me!

Yeah, perfect. That's good.

What are you doing?

I should have thought of this earlier.

Yeah.

What was that?

Frasier, what are you doing?

Frasier, the door seems to be jammed.

Frasier?

Sam, open the door.

Macanudo?

- Don't mind if I do.
- Open this door!

You know, I don't think I can stand
this caterwauling in here.

Why don't we go upstairs?

Frasier, open up!

I've got all 13 episodes
of I, Claudius on tape.

Great, man. I love gladiator flicks.

Frasier, we are not amused!