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1
00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:04,004
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:09,551
Are you going to make
a move in our lifetime?
3
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,178
Yeah, yeah.
4
00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:14,848
Oh, come on, Norm, why don't you
just give up. You're finished.
5
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:16,391
Oh, not necessarily.
6
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,435
He could move
this piece over to here.
7
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,105
My God, Woody,
that's brilliant.
8
00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:25,275
You're suggesting
that after two futile interpositions,
9
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,487
he attempt to force unobstructed
access to the eighth rank.
10
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,364
No, I'm saying
he should take your horsie
11
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,199
with his little pointy-headed thing.
12
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:36,620
No, not that one.
13
00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:38,205
Too late. Checkmate!
14
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,290
Good game, Norm.
15
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,750
Okay, next victim.
16
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:44,545
What's with this obsession
with chess here?
17
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,130
It's just a hobby, Sam.
You know, relieve the tension.
18
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,007
I got a better way
to relieve tension.
19
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,218
Her name's Tawney.
You want her number?
20
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:53,095
No, thanks, Sam.
21
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:56,098
I prefer something with a little
mental stimulation as well.
22
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,766
So read to her first.
23
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,062
No, thanks.
I'll stick to chess.
24
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:05,399
You know, that and fencing
were my two outlets during college.
25
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:07,234
Oh, boy, fencing.
26
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,486
I haven't had
the old épée out in years.
27
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:11,446
Boy, that'd make me
pretty tense, too.
28
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:26,938
Mind if I play, Dr. Crane?
29
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,816
Not at all, Woody. I've thrashed
everybody else in the bar.
30
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:33,445
You may as well be allowed
your chance at ignominious defeat.
31
00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:35,113
Well, thank you, Dr. Crane.
32
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,163
Hi, Sam.
33
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,290
Hi. Are you all right, Loretta?
34
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,125
I'm fine. And you?
35
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:51,171
Oh, I'm fine.
36
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,798
That's nice to hear.
37
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,092
Is Carla working tonight?
38
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,219
Yeah. She's right over there.
39
00:02:57,386 --> 00:03:00,597
Thank you, Sam.
It's been nice talking with you.
40
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:06,937
Excuse me, Carla,
but I caught Nick cheating on me,
41
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:09,064
and I've decided to leave him.
42
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,527
So you finally found out
my ex-husband is a jerk?
43
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,779
Well, I told you that
before you married the bum.
44
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,197
I've done my part.
45
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,158
Carla.
46
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:24,079
Don't ignore her
in her time of need.
47
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:26,540
Can't you tell
when a woman is dying?
48
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:30,085
Sure. When the roots
start showing, like that.
49
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:38,635
- Want a drink?
- A diet cola would be wonderful.
50
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:39,720
Okay.
51
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,559
Look, kid, I'm sorry
this happened to you.
52
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,437
Oh, thank you, Carla. Thank you.
53
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,939
I'm moved beyond recognition.
54
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:55,610
How long did it take you
to mend your broken heart?
55
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,446
I'll let you know
when it happens.
56
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:02,868
Loretta,
57
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,580
would you like to talk about it?
58
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:07,914
Not really.
59
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,377
To come home and find out
60
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,671
that a loved one
has been unfaithful
61
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,840
is a terrible blow.
62
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:21,052
The best therapy is to tell
how you feel about it.
63
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:22,471
I'm against it.
64
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,018
All right, Diane,
you've got your catharsis,
65
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,102
now leave the girl alone.
66
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,522
Well, at least
I'm trying to help.
67
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:34,524
You're merely
trying to figure out
68
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,526
why your king's
about to be mated.
69
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,321
Oh, my God.
70
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,657
Woody, you must
be an idiot savant.
71
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,577
Yeah, but I cover it
by smiling a lot.
72
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:53,335
Come on, Loretta.
Don't hold it inside.
73
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,297
Well, Nick, who is my husband,
74
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,508
has been seeing another woman.
75
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:03,804
I just realized it today when I found
blond hairs on Nick's shirt.
76
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,560
- Loretta, you're a blonde.
- Sure. Take his side.
77
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,272
Would you excuse us, please?
78
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,613
Look, it's closing time.
79
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:24,574
Loretta needs someone
to confide in right now.
80
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,368
Sam, why don't you
go on home
81
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:27,911
and we ladies
will take care of her.
82
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,664
What is this "we" bit?
83
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:34,209
I feel very strongly
that it's our duty as women
84
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:37,420
to be there for another woman
when she wants to talk.
85
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,632
Just as I feel strongly
that it's my duty as a man
86
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:42,592
to be there for a woman
when she doesn't want to talk.
87
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:43,635
Same kind of thing.
88
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,640
We'll miss that kind
of poignancy, Sam.
89
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:50,934
What do you say, we do it?
90
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,728
Oh, all right.
But only because no living thing
91
00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,356
should be subjected
to a night alone with you.
92
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,776
That's the spirit.
93
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,863
- Let's wrap it up, guys.
- Oh. All right, Sam.
94
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,198
We can finish this up tomorrow, Woody.
95
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,700
Who's winning now,
Dr. Crane?
96
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,618
Oh, what does it matter
who's winning?
97
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:14,916
We'll just start up
fresh tomorrow, okay?
98
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:16,918
All right.
99
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:29,431
Oh, Carla, I still love him.
100
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,349
Nothing you can do.
101
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,685
We're talking about Nick Tortelli.
102
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,687
He wants you,
you got no choice.
103
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,690
This is the part I don't get.
104
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,987
Here's a man
that quicksand would spit up...
105
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:51,202
...and yet he has this strange
Svengali-like power over you.
106
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:55,665
Oh, yes. From the moment
I first saw him,
107
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,585
I knew I'd follow him
to the ends of the earth.
108
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,004
Where he's obviously
spent a lot of time.
109
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,884
You know, there's
something about him.
110
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:09,846
He knows women,
like a jeweler knows jewels,
111
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,681
like a meat-cutter knows meat.
112
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:15,352
Like a marine biologist
knows marines.
113
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,820
Knowing me as well as I do,
114
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,782
I'll probably end up
crawling right back to him.
115
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:33,244
Yeah, and he'll be there waiting
with that cute look on his face
116
00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:35,163
and those three little words,
117
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,832
"She's my cousin!"
118
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,797
You're not crawling back to him.
119
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,800
We're gonna fight this together.
You don't need that reptile.
120
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,677
You can take care of yourself.
121
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,261
But what'll I do?
122
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,180
Well, you must be
good at something.
123
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,810
Well... I'm great at singing.
124
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:57,894
Okay.
125
00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:00,105
In fact, before I married Nick,
126
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:03,817
I was on my way
to becoming a taller, blonder,
127
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,403
less Mormon Marie Osmond.
128
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,825
Loretta, if Nick's going
to treat you this way,
129
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:14,828
you can't let him come
between you and your career.
130
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:18,540
You're right.
I've got to sing again.
131
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,834
Do you think Sam
would let me sing here?
132
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,878
Let me take care of it.
I can talk him into anything.
133
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,217
No, Diane, I told you,
absolutely not.
134
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:33,138
I wish you'd reconsider.
Loretta needs a job.
135
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,807
And you've never
had a singer before.
136
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,559
Oh, I've had a singer.
137
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,437
You probably mean...
138
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,024
Yes, in the bar.
139
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,109
- Right.
- It might be good for business.
140
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,235
Yeah...
141
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:49,988
I don't need a singer.
142
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,573
Can you waitress?
143
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:55,493
No, but I can do a salute
to waitresses in my act.
144
00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:00,123
It's only temporary
until she can get back on her feet.
145
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,666
Okay, all right. Okay.
146
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:06,004
I ran across an interesting fact
the other day.
147
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:09,174
You know if I took
a ride in a spaceship
148
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,634
at the speed of light
for ten years,
149
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,636
when I returned,
I'd be ten years older,
150
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,889
but everybody else here
would be 80 years older.
151
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,017
Now, do you realize
the ramifications of that?
152
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,479
Yeah, for once you'd be
the best player on our softball team.
153
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:26,983
I just can't discuss
science with you.
154
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:30,278
Cliff, give me a break. Hey!
155
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:34,908
- Carla.
- Nick.
156
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,159
Long time no see.
157
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,244
You do something
to your hair?
158
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,497
- No.
- Think about it.
159
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,292
Nick,
160
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,920
be a cannibal, eat a rat.
161
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,799
The magic is still there, Carla.
162
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,342
Whatever happened
between us?
163
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:55,261
You lied, you cheated,
you neglected the kids,
164
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,138
you never came home,
and you drank too much.
165
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,057
Nah. It had to be
more than that.
166
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,064
Say the word, blondie,
and we can happen.
167
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:15,073
I'd rather be the love toy
of a Greek army battalion.
168
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:17,826
Who wouldn't?
169
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,454
But dreaming gets you nowhere.
170
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,624
- Nicky!
- Loretta.
171
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,501
I've decided to forgive you
172
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:29,003
for bursting in on me
and Miss Romero in the shower.
173
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,507
I'm sorry, Nicky.
174
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,509
You oughta be.
It was very embarrassing.
175
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,928
- Let's go home.
- Okay.
176
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,388
Be strong.
177
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,599
I mean... no.
178
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,188
That sounded negative to me.
179
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:49,607
I'm here for you.
180
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:54,070
I'm not going home with you.
I'm leaving you, Nick.
181
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:57,699
Get in the car, sugar lump.
Don't make me mad, now.
182
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,242
Hey, Nick, why don't you
leave her alone?
183
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,119
Sam, she's coming home with me.
184
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:04,414
In case you've forgotten,
she is my betrothed.
185
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,793
She doesn't want to go
back to him. Please, help her.
186
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:09,961
Nick, come on. Beat it.
187
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,421
She doesn't want
to be around you now.
188
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:14,632
Sam, buddy, it's not a good thing
for them to see us fighting here.
189
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,885
These people,
they look up to us.
190
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,261
We're role models.
191
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,891
Then don't make me ask again.
192
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,351
Okay, I'm not looking for trouble.
193
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,811
But mark my words,
194
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:28,730
I'm coming back
for my woman.
195
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,525
Oh, Sam, you stood up for me.
196
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,819
Nobody's ever done
that for me before.
197
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:39,282
- Sam, I'm aghast.
- What?
198
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:40,909
You of all people.
199
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:43,203
Have you no respect
for our blessed union?
200
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,664
Oh, come on, Nick.
There's nothing going on here.
201
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,082
I'm not interested in Loretta.
202
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,126
I got one thing
to say to you, Sam,
203
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:53,463
two can play the same game.
204
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:54,881
You took my woman...
205
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,472
I'm going to take yours.
206
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,017
Me? You're taking me?
207
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,938
The only thing
you should be taking is penicillin.
208
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,068
This is great.
Nick's gonna cast a love spell
209
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,654
on Miss Goody-Two-Shoes
and I get to watch.
210
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:21,032
Actually, I'm not gonna make
my romantic approach tonight.
211
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,368
It's getting too late for that.
212
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:27,538
Ah, yes. Goodness,
look at the time.
213
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:33,378
Time...
214
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,048
Time to lay back.
215
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,092
Time...
216
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,762
...to forget your inhibitions.
217
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,806
This is diabolical.
218
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,350
From this day forward,
219
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,227
there will be
nobody for you but me.
220
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,938
You will fall
hopelessly in love
221
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,692
and follow me
to the ends of the earth.
222
00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,738
Oh, yeah. And bring a six-pack.
223
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,370
God, the man is insane to think
224
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,997
that anyone would be
gullible enough
225
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:11,666
to fall for that idiotic nonsense.
226
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:38,234
Thank you. You've been
a wonderful audience.
227
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:44,365
- Expecting someone, Diane?
- No, not really.
228
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,451
Sure you are.
229
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,286
He's out there somewhere...
230
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,538
...waiting.
231
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:54,000
I've heard so much
about Nick Tortelli's magic,
232
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,003
but it's been a week
and I haven't seen any evidence of it.
233
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,379
Well, don't you see
what he's doing?
234
00:13:58,546 --> 00:13:59,922
It's all part of his plan.
235
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,842
You know, like when the drums stop
in a jungle movie?
236
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,553
You sit and wonder,
237
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,348
what are the natives doing?
238
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:12,101
And then you start to sweat.
239
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,270
He's a genius.
240
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,154
Woody, I refuse
to continue playing
241
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:24,947
if every time you take
one of my pieces you go...
242
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:29,077
Sorry, Dr. Crane.
I thought it added
243
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:30,703
a little bit of excitement
to the game.
244
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,121
Well, it doesn't!
245
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:35,958
Okay, Woody.
246
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,253
You know, I think it's time
we took off the gloves.
247
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:43,257
I've allowed you
to defeat me several times
248
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,134
because I was
going easy on you
249
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,970
so as not to crush
your natural enthusiasm.
250
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:52,725
But I think it's time you took
a giant step toward maturity.
251
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,436
There are a great many lessons
to be learned in defeat.
252
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,605
Chief among them
is how to lose gracefully.
253
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,110
Checkmate.
254
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,072
You missed my king!
255
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,078
Dr. Crane!
256
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,210
- Good night, Loretta.
- Good night. Thanks, Sam.
257
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:24,257
Never again does
she sing in this bar.
258
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:26,968
Yes, dear.
259
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:34,475
You know, Sammy,
I know you kind of like Diane.
260
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,061
But you're going
to have to face it.
261
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:38,479
She's his now.
262
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,273
Oh, come on,
will you stop it.
263
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,732
Nick and Diane,
264
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,443
they don't even belong
on the same planet.
265
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,195
The guy doesn't have
any table manners.
266
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:47,989
I mean, he thinks
he's God's gift to women.
267
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:50,867
When was the last time
he even picked up a book?
268
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,035
How's that different
from you, Sam?
269
00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:55,955
All right, well,
there's a big difference.
270
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,542
There's a big difference
between thinking you're God's gift
271
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:00,751
and knowing it.
272
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,134
You know, Sammy,
I think Nick is getting to you.
273
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,386
Why? You think I'm worried
about this? You kidding?
274
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:13,014
Well, look at this. You added
these receipts all wrong.
275
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,056
I did not.
276
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:17,477
Then you're saying we took in
$32 million tonight?
277
00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:20,938
Well, there was that party
of ten in the corner table.
278
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,900
Yeah. I'm gonna go add these
on the machine, okay?
279
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,109
Maybe you better.
280
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,197
Diane, I'm gonna go home now
281
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:31,324
and watch the last half
of the Celtics game,
282
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,159
- all right?
- Okay, Sam.
283
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,997
- See you in the morning.
- Okay. I'll be dreaming of you.
284
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,249
I'll be dreaming of me, too.
285
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:47,840
Closing!
286
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,067
Good evening, Miss Chambers.
287
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,236
Nick.
288
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,363
You'd better be here
289
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:14,158
to tell me that you've given up
your quest to win my favor.
290
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,577
Please, Miss Chambers.
291
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,371
This is for you
292
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,958
and you alone, my sweet.
293
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,432
God, you've gotta be kidding.
294
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,394
In matters of a more,
Nick Tortelli never kids.
295
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,603
Sit.
296
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,481
- I am not a dog.
- Of course you're not.
297
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,858
Do you think I'd spend
this kind of dough on an ugh-o?
298
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,654
Now, come on.
299
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:54,198
We have a night
of magic ahead of us.
300
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,408
Let us commence.
301
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,827
Nick, there will be no dinner,
302
00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,829
no magic, no us.
303
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,206
You and I have to talk.
304
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:03,791
Now, please. Sit down.
305
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:06,669
Okay.
306
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:18,764
Nick.
307
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,310
Will you give up on me.
308
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,979
You and I are an impossibility.
309
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,941
The only thing you instill in me
is the desire to flee...
310
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,070
And then to be defleaed.
311
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:37,992
I'm sensing
312
00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:40,620
that we're not gonna hit
the sheets together.
313
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:44,749
That is correct.
314
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:46,042
Save it.
315
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,713
Why are you wasting
your time on this?
316
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,131
Loretta's the woman for you.
317
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,508
She's spending
all of her time with Sam.
318
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:57,219
Women can't get
their eyes off of that guy.
319
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,722
I guess in his own way
he's good-looking.
320
00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:03,434
Well, Nick,
you're every bit as...
321
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,686
...mistaken as you can be.
322
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:11,025
Sam and Loretta
are not an item.
323
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:12,443
Sam is mine,
324
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:15,529
so why don't you do
something decent for once
325
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,865
and go back and make
your marriage work.
326
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:19,367
Get up! Get up!
327
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:20,701
What's going on here?
328
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,953
Surprise!
329
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,088
I just came
because I forgot my charts.
330
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,965
- Is this all for me?
- Of course it's for you.
331
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:37,968
It's my attempt to win
you back into my heart.
332
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,680
- Am I right, Miss Chambers?
- Oh, yes.
333
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,890
He's really a sweet guy,
isn't he, Loretta?
334
00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:44,558
He sure is.
335
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:48,854
Yeah. if he weren't already taken,
I'd snap him up for myself.
336
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,817
Well, I'll leave you two
lovebirds alone.
337
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,485
I'm just going
in the back to freshen up.
338
00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:56,696
I'll be out of here
in just a few minutes.
339
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,365
I really like that Debbie.
340
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:05,538
Loretta,
341
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,124
if I have caused you
any heartache,
342
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,583
I want to say I'm sorry,
343
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,378
but I really do love you,
and I know you love me.
344
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,922
And it's crazy for us
not to be together.
345
00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:17,258
You're the only woman
on earth for me.
346
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:21,595
How come the cake
says "Nick and Diane"?
347
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,098
Excuse me?
348
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,935
How come the cake
says "Nick and Diane"?
349
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:29,812
You know
what a lousy speller I am.
350
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:33,691
Right.
351
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:39,572
But wait.
352
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:41,699
That's pretty bad.
353
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,415
This wasn't for me
after all, was it?
354
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,293
This was for some girl
named Diane!
355
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:53,335
All right, all right.
356
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:57,590
It's no use.
We're through forever.
357
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:03,596
If you ever need a singer,
I'm available for any gig.
358
00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:07,558
Cut it.
359
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:10,811
Nick.
360
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,229
Carla.
361
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,403
What's all this?
362
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:21,822
This is for you, my sweet.
363
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:26,160
- All this is for me?
- Yeah.
364
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:29,997
If this is not an attempt
at reconciliation,
365
00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:32,082
I don't know what is.
366
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:33,834
This is.
367
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:38,631
You don't believe me?
368
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:43,719
Whose lipstick
is on the glass?
369
00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:44,929
What?
370
00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:46,806
I'm gonna have
the caterer flogged.
371
00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:48,891
Good night, Nick.
372
00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:51,477
I hope you guys got
your money up front.
373
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:00,820
Nick?
374
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:06,242
Diane.
375
00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:09,453
Diane, look how fate once again
376
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:11,497
has brought us
together this evening.
377
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:13,791
Excuse me
if I don't get up for you.
378
00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:17,461
Where's Loretta?
379
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:21,340
I don't know. She got up
and ran out on me.
380
00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:23,300
Apparently she didn't like the cake.
381
00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:26,178
Nick, do yourself a favor.
382
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,972
Get up out of that chair,
383
00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,807
march out that door...
384
00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:31,517
Do you mind?
385
00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:33,811
March out that door,
386
00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:36,856
find your wife,
take her in your arms,
387
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:40,776
sweep her up
off her feet and tell her
388
00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:44,321
that if our hearts cannot be
as one for all eternity,
389
00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:46,907
life will have lost all meaning.
390
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,409
Okay, I'll do that.
391
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:51,912
That's it, boys.
You're off the clock.
392
00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:53,539
Find your own ways home.
393
00:22:55,165 --> 00:22:56,750
Loretta!
394
00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,299
Did I miss something here?
395
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:06,760
Men.
396
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:09,221
They're so stupid.
397
00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:11,390
What are you doing here?
398
00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:13,392
Well, I thought
it was more important
399
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:14,518
for me to be here with you
400
00:23:14,685 --> 00:23:16,729
than watching some silly
old basketball game.
401
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:19,273
- Your TV's broken?
- Yeah.
402
00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:26,322
This whole thing is so sad.
Really, very sad.
403
00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:28,699
It's all right.
It's under warranty. It'll be okay.
404
00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:33,662
No. I'm talking about life.
405
00:23:35,289 --> 00:23:39,043
How a good woman can make
all the difference in the world
406
00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:41,795
and yet men are constantly
letting them slip away.
407
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:48,636
I hope you don't let
that happen to you...
408
00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:53,057
...and a certain
flaxen-haired beauty in your life.
409
00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:55,267
Don't worry.
410
00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:57,144
I won't.
27906
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