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1
00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:04,254
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:06,381
Here's something
about a show of impressionists
3
00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,175
coming to Boston this fall.
4
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,595
Why wait? I do one
that'll knock your socks off.
5
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:14,306
He's talking
about French painters, doofus.
6
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:15,599
Yeah? Well, so am I.
7
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,518
I do a great Cézanne.
8
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:18,977
- Get out of here...
- Well, I do.
9
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,103
Watch this, man.
10
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:23,023
Hold that pose,
the light is perfect.
11
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:28,028
Hey, you better smile
when you say that, pilgrim.
12
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,990
Now, now. Just a darn second
there, young fella.
13
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,119
Okay, I got one. Watch this.
14
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:41,792
Hey, fellas.
15
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:44,545
I believe we might be in
for just a little rain
16
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,088
'fore this day is over.
17
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:47,756
Woody, who is that?
18
00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:50,926
It's Dwight Womack,
mayor of Hanover, Indiana.
19
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,681
No, Woody,
when you do impressions,
20
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,808
you got to do impressions
of famous people.
21
00:00:57,975 --> 00:00:59,518
Well, if I could do
somebody famous,
22
00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:01,395
why would I be doing
Dwight Womack?
23
00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,148
- Yeah, good point.
- He's got a point.
24
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,727
- Hey, everybody.
- Hey, Sam.
25
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,520
Sam... Sam...
26
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,734
This is our first time
back in Cheers
27
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:33,111
since, you know, yesterday.
28
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,490
Don't you think we should
announce our engagement?
29
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,950
All right. Okay.
Well, go ahead.
30
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,119
Oh, no. You do it.
You're the man.
31
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:42,829
All right. Listen up, everybody.
32
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,457
I have an announcement to make.
Diane and I decided to...
33
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,584
Oh, Sam,
what are you gonna say?
34
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:49,586
Well, I was just
gonna tell them that...
35
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:52,673
I see.
36
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,925
Well, what do you
want me to say?
37
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,680
Oh, come on, Diane.
Nobody knows who the Lunts are.
38
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,770
Due to our desire to be... what?
39
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,271
- Conjoined.
- Conjoined.
40
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,234
Diane and I would like you
41
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:15,862
to celebrate with us
by toasting our nuptials.
42
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,700
No, Woody. That's...
43
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,039
What Sam
so eloquently expressed
44
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,624
was that he and I have officially
45
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,960
become engaged to be married.
46
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:35,507
How 'bout that, all?
47
00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:39,010
Married, Sam. I thought you said
you'd never marry Diane.
48
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:42,347
Well, I never said that exactly.
49
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:45,016
No, I think the exact words were,
"I'd rather have every hair on my body,
50
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,476
pulled out simultaneously."
51
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,398
Well, that's just an expression.
52
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,566
I mean...
53
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,151
No, seriously, you know, I...
54
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,528
We all knew it was gonna happen
sooner or later.
55
00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,780
I just thought
I'd get it over with.
56
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,324
Well, Diane, Sam,
congratulations to both of you.
57
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,576
Diane, I hope you're
planning to stay
58
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,995
for the entire ceremony
this time. Ours was...
59
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,665
Ours was very touching, I thought.
60
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,543
Well, another one bites
the matrimonial dust.
61
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,295
I guess that leaves
only one stud
62
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,505
to satisfy all the babes
in this bar.
63
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:17,883
Hey, I can handle it, too.
64
00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:21,636
Hi.
65
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,431
I bet you never thought
you'd see the day.
66
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,017
Nice shirt, Sam. Is it new?
67
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,227
No, it's not.
68
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,146
Did you hear
what I said up there
69
00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,356
about me and Diane
getting engaged?
70
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,400
The beer distributor called.
He wanted to know
71
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,903
if he can change
the delivery day to Wednesday.
72
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:45,786
Carla, I know that we haven't
always seen eye to eye, but...
73
00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:48,455
...you could at least wish us well.
74
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,915
I need a draft.
75
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,626
Fascinating.
76
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,878
She's experiencing denial.
77
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,339
What's that mean, Dr. Crane?
78
00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,299
Well, simply put,
79
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,051
it means that the human mind
80
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:04,513
blocks out that
which it cannot emotionally accept.
81
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,182
What's that mean, Dr. Crane?
82
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,896
It means that you
don't understand this,
83
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:13,980
and you never will.
84
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,196
I think perhaps I should get
personally involved in this.
85
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:23,365
And after all,
Carla is a good friend.
86
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:27,077
I think I could help her
alleviate her suffering.
87
00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:29,120
Besides, there's
nothing good on TV.
88
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,375
So I don't see any ring here.
89
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:34,709
What gives, you guys?
90
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,419
Well, we're doing
a little window shopping,
91
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,255
but she's got her eye
on a big old diamond
92
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,549
in the window of Barton and Lyle.
93
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,926
No, Sam.
94
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:45,095
Now, that's much too expensive.
95
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,389
I would be content
with any one
96
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,558
of the smaller stones
we saw today.
97
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:50,642
Now, wait a second.
98
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,477
Hey, Woody,
give me the phone there, will ya?
99
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,229
Listen, you might as well
have the best ring.
100
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,605
You got the best husband.
101
00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:00,277
Any wonder I love you?
102
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,903
I'm twice blessed.
103
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,281
I'm getting
the most wonderful guy,
104
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,324
and one hell of a rock.
105
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,163
Yeah, let me...
106
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,082
Let me find out
just how much this thing is.
107
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:16,209
Yeah, there you go, Sammy.
108
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,294
Beats "a rock."
109
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:20,922
Hi, you got a ring in the window
there by the door.
110
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,591
It's a big diamond
with two little diamonds
111
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:23,758
on either side there.
112
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:24,885
Yeah, that's the one.
113
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,761
Yeah, how much does that cost?
114
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,143
How much?
115
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,312
5,200.
116
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,523
What am I gonna do here?
117
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,859
- I have Bruce.
- What?
118
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,319
A friend of mine
in the jewelry business.
119
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,654
He buys diamonds
and gold wholesale
120
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:45,906
and then you don't have
to pay the markup.
121
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,282
It's like a zillion percent.
122
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,159
- You know, that's kinda silly...
- No.
123
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:50,785
It's the same gold,
same diamonds.
124
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,998
Well, if it's the same ring,
it's the same ring, isn't it?
125
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,625
Absolutely. Give me the phone.
126
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:58,877
- I'll call now.
- All right. Go on, do it.
127
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,046
Uh, Sam, I don't think
that's a good idea.
128
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:02,213
Why not?
129
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,633
Diane's not the kind of woman
who'd like to find out
130
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,343
that her ring was bought
from a jeweler
131
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:09,012
who begins every transaction
with "Psst! Buddy."
132
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,016
No, you make it...
133
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:14,643
You're making it sound
worse than it is.
134
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,603
I mean, I'm sure
everything's legit.
135
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,188
All right, fine, Bruce. Great.
136
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,273
Sammy, come here.
137
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,869
Not bad for 1,200 bucks.
138
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,037
Yeah, I'll say.
139
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:37,582
Carla, you see the ring
that Sammy got for Diane here?
140
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,210
You know, I'm thinking about
having my house texture coated.
141
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:43,338
You have your choice
of 24 decorator colors.
142
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:44,589
Amazing.
143
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,508
Yeah, and surprisingly reasonable.
144
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:51,680
Hey, guys, wanna see
a classic here? Watch this.
145
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,641
- Hi, Diane.
- Hey, Sam.
146
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,850
Oh, boy, hey, you know,
147
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,769
that finger looks
a little warm there.
148
00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,938
Maybe you should cool 'er down
with some ice.
149
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,816
- Sam!
- What? What's the matter?
150
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:06,653
- What's wrong?
- Nothing. It's beautiful.
151
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,365
Just think,
152
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,909
hours ago, I was admiring
153
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,536
this magnificent ring
in the window,
154
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:17,080
thinking it was
an unattainable treasure.
155
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,876
And now, here it is,
on my finger.
156
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,254
Yeah, there it is, all right.
That's the one.
157
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,132
- How about that?
- Thank you.
158
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,258
Thank you.
159
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,427
- Thank you.
- Yeah, yeah.
160
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:33,722
Hey, Carla, do you realize
161
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:35,724
that when Sammy
and Diane get married
162
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,058
Diane's gonna be your boss?
163
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,060
Nice shirt, Norm. Is it new?
164
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:43,440
Sam...
165
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:49,863
I felt that I couldn't possibly
ask you for this,
166
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,991
but now that you've actually
gone out and purchased it,
167
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,325
I can tell you.
168
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,162
This is the only ring
I ever wanted.
169
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:00,874
Where's the box?
170
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:02,459
Box?
171
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,378
Yeah, you know,
the one it came in.
172
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,755
Oh, yeah.
173
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,965
This one didn't seem to come
with one of those, did it?
174
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,096
Really?
175
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,640
Well, I'm surprised
they didn't give you one,
176
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,727
especially considering
how much this must have cost.
177
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:21,895
Oh, well, they did.
178
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,106
It's just that I told them,
"Keep the box. She'll just wear it."
179
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:28,860
That's what I said, all right.
180
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,074
- Sam...
- Yeah?
181
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,534
This may sound frivolous
182
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,537
but every woman wants
to keep the box
183
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:41,581
that her engagement
ring came in.
184
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,167
I already have a space
reserved for it
185
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,502
in my memento drawer,
186
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,378
right between
my French club pin
187
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:48,588
and my retainer.
188
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:52,467
All right.
189
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,135
I mean, fine, honey.
190
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,054
I'll just... well, I'll go back
191
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,389
and I'll get the box.
192
00:09:58,556 --> 00:09:59,974
Don't forget
your receipt there, Sammy.
193
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,229
They'll probably
remember your face.
194
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:19,911
You can relax, everybody.
195
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,163
- I got the box.
- All right.
196
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,832
They just gave it to you?
197
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,084
No, I had to buy something.
198
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:27,961
Oh, yeah? What did you get?
199
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,213
Sterling silver corncob holders.
200
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,425
290 bucks. You believe that?
201
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:35,927
Why'd you buy those things?
202
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:37,887
Well, everything else
seemed like such a rip-off.
203
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,016
I'm still way ahead, though. It's okay.
204
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,726
Oh, yeah. Sure.
205
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:46,604
Oh, Sam, there you are.
206
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,773
Yeah, and here you are,
my little darling.
207
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,441
One ring box, just your size.
208
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,026
How about that?
Are you happy?
209
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,611
Deliriously.
210
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,530
I just wish I'd gone with you
211
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,365
when you went back
to Barton and Lyle's.
212
00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:59,701
I want to buy myself that dress.
213
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,286
Which dress is that?
214
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,454
The one in the window?
215
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,957
Right next door
in Justine's window?
216
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,333
Don't you remember?
I was admiring it
217
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,336
- as we walked by.
- Sure, yeah.
218
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,839
Yeah. It's perfect. I'd love it.
219
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,632
Well, it's kind of slack now.
220
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,384
Why don't you take off,
do a little shopping?
221
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,803
- Really?
- Yeah. Go ahead.
222
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:19,929
Sam.
223
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,557
- I'll get my purse.
- All right.
224
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,392
So, Sammy,
225
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,144
when Diane sees the ring
226
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,395
in the window
of the fancy store
227
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,106
and also on her finger,
what do you think she'll say?
228
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:32,859
Well, I'm off.
229
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:35,987
No, Diane, wait a second here.
230
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,990
I can't... I can't let you
go through with this.
231
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:41,117
- What?
- Well...
232
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,287
I bought that dress for you.
233
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:48,041
Sam Malone.
234
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,001
I don't believe you.
235
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:52,212
No, it's a fact.
It's in my car right up there.
236
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,131
You scamp! Go get it, please.
237
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,843
You know, I was kinda hoping
to surprise you with it.
238
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,596
Well, I already know
about it now.
239
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,641
Right. What am I standing
here for then?
240
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:10,480
Say, you know, that's such
an interesting dress.
241
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,650
How would you describe
that color?
242
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,944
- Pink.
- Pink. Right.
243
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:17,946
You always know
the perfect word.
244
00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:21,032
Pink. Who would've thought?
245
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,208
I wonder what's keeping Sam.
246
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,543
He's certainly been gone
a long time.
247
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:33,836
Where is Sam?
248
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,340
Where is Sam?
249
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,803
I think she's starting to relate
to her environment again.
250
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,055
Well, I think we've made
great progress.
251
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,599
Carla, can you tell me
who Sam is?
252
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,893
Of course. He's my boss.
253
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:51,729
Did you know that
he is now engaged to be married?
254
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,606
Yes, I'm very happy for him.
255
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:54,941
See how well we've done?
256
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,443
Carla,
257
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,905
who is the charming soul
258
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,366
that has agreed to marry him?
259
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:04,826
Norm.
260
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,788
Well, I'm not
the miracle worker.
261
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,585
Here we go.
262
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,549
The one you wanted
and three more.
263
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,926
- Oh, Sam!
- What?
264
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:25,013
You impetuous fool.
I love them.
265
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,265
- Great.
- Thank you.
266
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,351
Wait a minute. You were gone
an awfully long time.
267
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:32,270
I thought you were
just going to your car.
268
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,689
Well, I got a parking ticket,
269
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:38,026
and I wanted to fight it in court.
270
00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:45,366
Do I detect
a snafu there, Sammy?
271
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:48,077
Every damn dress
in the window was pink.
272
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,331
Boy, that must've cost you
a pretty penny.
273
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,000
That's all right.
I'll get some of it back.
274
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,918
She couldn't possibly
like all four of them.
275
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,087
Oh, Sam, I love all of them.
276
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,091
I can't decide which one
to wear tonight to dinner.
277
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,260
Oh, God. Oh, boy, right.
278
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:06,387
What did we say? 7:00?
279
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,556
Could we make it
a little later?
280
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:11,267
I have to stop by the store
to get the ring appraised.
281
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,269
Pardon me?
282
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,481
The insurance man said
283
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,983
that there has to be
an appraisal on file
284
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:23,488
in order to have this covered
in my theft policy.
285
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,657
Boy, they don't
make it easy, do they?
286
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,496
I tell you what.
Why don't you let me handle that?
287
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:32,914
I'll have it appraised.
288
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,123
Yeah, why don't you
give me the ring?
289
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,541
No, Sam.
290
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,920
Just as our love is forever,
so is this ring.
291
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:42,256
From here on out,
it will never leave my finger.
292
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,300
Beautiful.
293
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,094
That's really beautiful.
294
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,554
Woody, you want to get me
some aspirin there?
295
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,016
Sam, I think this has gone too far.
296
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,310
You're caught
in a quagmire of deceit.
297
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,437
You're just
gonna sink deeper and deeper,
298
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:57,605
and to what avail?
299
00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:59,315
To my butt's avail.
300
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,319
Yeah, maybe you're right.
301
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:06,823
I should just bite the bullet
and be honest with her.
302
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,825
I mean, I really want
this relationship to work.
303
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,743
Yeah. Me, too, Sammy.
304
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,082
- Diane...
- Yes?
305
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,251
I have something
I want to say to you.
306
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,461
I'm afraid you're not
gonna like it.
307
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,881
After receiving
this beautiful symbol
308
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:25,216
of our relationship,
309
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,386
a symbol
that has touched me very deeply,
310
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,806
nothing you say
could ever disappoint me.
311
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:33,683
What is it?
312
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,146
I have to go to the doctor.
313
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:42,108
- What for?
- No, it's nothing serious.
314
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:45,194
It's... I just figured, you know,
we're getting married,
315
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:46,696
I might as well
have a checkup,
316
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:49,323
make sure the old evinrude's
still cranking.
317
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,328
I don't see any cause
for alarm in that.
318
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,415
In fact, I think
it's quite sensible.
319
00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:58,749
Good, good.
320
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:02,086
- I love the dresses.
- Me, too. Thanks so much.
321
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:03,463
Lovely.
322
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,465
So, what now, Kemo-Sammy?
323
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,219
It's no problem.
I'll just go back to the store
324
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:12,388
and I'll handle it.
325
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,558
I tell you, though.
No way in the world
326
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,393
am I gonna buy
that expensive ring.
327
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,354
- The ring is bought?
- Oh, yeah.
328
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,452
You shelled out
for the ring in the window,
329
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:35,495
didn't you, Sammy?
330
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:37,580
Yeah.
331
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,250
I got a real interesting price on it.
332
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:43,628
- Full price?
- Right around there, yeah.
333
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:46,881
As soon as I switch this one
334
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:50,092
for the ring on her finger,
my problems are over.
335
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:53,763
Sam, what did the doctor say?
336
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:55,848
Same thing he always does: "Wow."
337
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:05,858
- But you're fine, yes?
- Oh, yeah, no problem there.
338
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,193
No...
339
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,611
You know, actually,
340
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,571
I was sitting
in the waiting room there
341
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:11,697
and I realized that I...
342
00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:15,451
...I never officially
put that ring on your finger,
343
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,495
and I'd, well, I'd kind of like to.
344
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:21,332
Sam, you're just
sweeping me off my feet.
345
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,961
Okay, well, close your eyes.
346
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:26,462
Why?
347
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,798
There's something
I want to say to you,
348
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:31,926
and I might get embarrassed
if you saw me.
349
00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:36,597
Okay. I can't wait
to hear this.
350
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,605
Diane, you're really neat.
351
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,821
I think this big step
we've taken
352
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,990
has made you positively goofy.
353
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:56,450
Well, maybe it has.
That's me, just one big goof.
354
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:02,707
Yeah, they haven't found a chick
that can outsmart me.
355
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,875
All right, Sammy.
356
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,336
Did he say "chick" or "chimp"?
357
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,053
Cheers.
358
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,765
No, I'm sorry.
359
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,643
Norman is
uncharacteristically absent.
360
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:25,563
May I take a message for him?
361
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:30,109
Bruce wants to know
about the ring.
362
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,119
Yes, I think it's safe to say
363
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:43,873
that Sam's fiancée
was completely fooled by it.
364
00:18:58,179 --> 00:18:59,263
Boy, I'm starved.
365
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:01,474
I hear it's a great restaurant.
366
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,568
We're quite the little
chatterbox tonight.
367
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,570
You want me to talk?
368
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,157
- Well, it's not necessary.
- Fine, I'll talk.
369
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:22,036
I don't appreciate
being given junk jewelry
370
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:23,788
and then lied to about it.
371
00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:25,748
Now, wait a second.
That is not junk jewelry...
372
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,793
No. Sam, please,
no more lies.
373
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:32,672
How could you pledge your troth
with a paste ring?
374
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:35,633
No, that is not a paste ring.
All right, there was another ring,
375
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,636
but I switched it for the one
in the window. I swear to God I did.
376
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,471
Oh, please,
don't bother swearing.
377
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:41,972
You had no idea what I did...
378
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:43,724
Love obviously
means nothing to you.
379
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,893
- I'd rather go without them.
- What are you... No!
380
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:55,653
Explain that part
about switching rings again.
381
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,200
There is something shiny.
382
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:04,704
No, just another
paper wrapper.
383
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,211
Look at us. We're filthy.
384
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,296
Yeah.
385
00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:18,134
By the way, I hate that dress.
386
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:24,807
Considering the circumstances
under which it was obtained,
387
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:27,184
it's hardly
one of my favorites anymore.
388
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:28,394
Oh, good.
389
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,439
On account you're not wearing it
when you visit me
390
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:33,524
in the poorhouse
that you put me in.
391
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,985
Sam, get off it.
392
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:40,573
No, wait. Let's tally up
the damages here.
393
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,868
The first ring was $1,200.
394
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:46,537
The box was $290.
395
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:51,417
Four lovely pink frocks
was a mere $950.
396
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,962
The damages on the car
will be at least a grand.
397
00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,631
And let's not forget
about the $5,200 bite
398
00:20:57,798 --> 00:20:59,717
I was hoping to avoid
in the first place.
399
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:04,472
Bringing it
to a grand total of $9,000,
400
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,599
for a ring I no longer have.
401
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:09,560
Well, I hasten to add
402
00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:12,313
that this was all
of your own volition.
403
00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:17,359
- $290 for the box?
- Yeah.
404
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,113
Do you like corn on the cob?
405
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,787
I guess I'm just stupid
406
00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:31,248
to think that I could make
someone like you happy
407
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:33,876
on a budget
of someone like me.
408
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,342
- I'm sorry.
- Well, you should be.
409
00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:47,139
All right! I said I was.
410
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,726
Give me a bit of slack.
411
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,399
Even if...
412
00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:01,237
...had that been
the bargain ring,
413
00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:03,823
it would have been
sinfully impetuous of me
414
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:05,074
to cast it away.
415
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:08,244
Well, here's
the bargain ring right now.
416
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:10,412
Why don't you give it
the old heave ho, too?
417
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:18,671
I'm somehow reminded of a fable
418
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:22,758
penned by an anonymous
18th century author...
419
00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:27,137
...concerning the young mistress
420
00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:29,306
of a great feudal estate,
421
00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:31,976
and a wood chopper
who worked on the estate.
422
00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:33,102
Diane,
423
00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:35,563
not now, please.
424
00:22:40,484 --> 00:22:42,236
Could I just
tell you the moral?
425
00:22:43,946 --> 00:22:44,905
What?
426
00:22:45,948 --> 00:22:47,366
You're really neat.
427
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:57,042
Hardly original, I know.
428
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,670
The fact remains that...
429
00:23:01,547 --> 00:23:03,173
...no matter what the cost,
430
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:07,511
a ring is, above all else,
431
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:09,847
a symbol of the feelings
432
00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:13,017
that two people
have for each other.
433
00:23:16,270 --> 00:23:19,481
So truly, Sam,
this is the ring I want.
434
00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:25,446
Let me do this.
435
00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:35,247
But nothing says
we can't keep looking.
436
00:23:48,052 --> 00:23:53,057
No!
29465
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