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1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:04,254
Cheers
is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:09,259
I'll tell you, Woody, the psychiatric profession
can get rough sometimes.
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,805
I think if I hear one more person telling me
about one more problem, I'll explode.
4
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:16,183
I know just how you feel Dr. Crane.
5
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,018
Actually, I suppose you do.
6
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,895
Our professions are very much alike.
7
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:24,399
We both have to listen patiently
while people unload their grief and suffering.
8
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,568
Sometimes it's just more than I can bear.
9
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,570
I know just how you feel, Dr. Crane.
10
00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:33,283
If only I had your ability to listen...
to a person's problem,
11
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:38,372
sympathize while going on calmly and happily.
How do you do it Wood?
12
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:40,791
I know just how you feel Dr. Crane.
13
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:47,089
- You're not listening to me, are you?
- I know just how you feel Dr. Crane.
14
00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,877
Fine. Here it is, troops.
15
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,837
The reason I called you in
was to tell you
16
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,757
I just got a chance to go out to
Moose River to do some fishing
17
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,675
with some old baseball buddies.
18
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:15,677
Ahh... a fishing trip.
19
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:19,222
Another desperate yet futile
attempt to forget me.
20
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:24,019
No, just another desperate
yet futile attempt to catch some fish.
21
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:27,439
Problem is I want to leave right now, so...
22
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:30,317
Who wants to be saddled
with taking charge of the place while I'm--
23
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,985
- Me, me, me!
- Me, me, me!
24
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:34,279
Wait a minute here.
25
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:38,367
All right, sit down. I guess I'm going to
have to make an executive decision here.
26
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,828
All right, hold out your fists.
27
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,831
One potato, two potato,
three potato, four--
28
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:48,293
Oh Sam, Sam, Sam,
this isn't fair.
29
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:49,503
It isn't?
30
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:53,924
No, everybody knows that when you do
One Potato, Two Potato with three people,
31
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:57,469
you end up with the same person
with whom you started.
32
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,808
Oh, yeah. All right, uh...
33
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:06,019
I've got something else here.
All right, you're right.
34
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:07,854
My dog died last night
35
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,815
What color is his blood?
36
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:16,154
What kind of disgusting game is that?
37
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,865
It's something I played when I was a kid.
38
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:19,866
Now, pick a color.
39
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,536
- What for?
- Your dog's blood.
40
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,583
This is horrible. You played
this as a child?
41
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,128
No wonder you're so disturbed.
42
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,964
Would you please pick a color
so I can spell it
43
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,465
and knock somebody out.
44
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:36,925
All right, mauve.
45
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:43,974
All right, uh...
46
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:49,312
- Here we go. We'll use a bat here.
- Good idea.
47
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,356
Okay. I'm in charge!
48
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:52,941
Sam.
49
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:56,778
Actually, I had this in mind, here.
Woody, you know how to do this.
50
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,572
There you go. All right, here.
51
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:07,414
Oh! He grabbed the little knobby thing
at the top! You can't do that.
52
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,584
- That's not part of the bat!
- It is so part of the bat.
53
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,295
- Well, can he grab it?
- Sure he can grab it.
54
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:16,131
Then you and I get three turns
trying to kick it
55
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,425
out of his fingers and the one
who kicks it out wins.
56
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,677
Well how do we decide who kicks first?
57
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,054
One potato, two potato--
58
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,932
You're going to have to make
a decision
59
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,769
like a rational, adult human being.
60
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:30,437
All right.
61
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,773
Okay. Woody's my man.
62
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:34,357
Oh, come on!
63
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,525
Why Woody?
64
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,069
Because he's the only person
who hasn't
65
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,155
irritated the hell out of me
in the last five minutes.
66
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:41,907
Come on, get out of here.
67
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,493
Let me go over some of the
management rules with him.
68
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,036
Go on, go on.
69
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:53,168
I think you're really going to enjoy
this weekend, boss.
70
00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:00,467
Okay. First rule--
keep this with you at all times.
71
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,226
Oh, Woodie. There's a letter
from Indiana.
72
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:13,021
Oh boy! It's from my girlfriend Beth.
73
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,106
So, how are things in the great Midwest?
74
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:18,068
Well, everybody gather round
and we'll find out.
75
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:23,073
Oh, great! Let's pull up the stove,
whittle a tetch and chaw some tabacky.
76
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,411
Wait, Beth writes the greatest letters
in the world.
77
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,080
I can't wait for you to hear this.
78
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:36,211
"Dear Woody, this is the hardest letter
I've ever had to write.
79
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,256
What I have to say is that
I care about you very much,
80
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:41,675
but I'm afraid
we can't stay together anymore.
81
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,302
You see, I've fallen in love
with Leonard Twilley
82
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:47,347
and we're flying up to Niagara Falls
on the 20th to be married.
83
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,724
We're gonna drop by
and see you on our way.
84
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:52,018
I feel I have to explain in person.
85
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,938
I hope you understand
and find it in your heart to forgive me.
86
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:58,275
See you Saturday. Love, Beth."
87
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:02,946
Well, this isn't quite as
good as her usual letters.
88
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,579
I'm so sorry, Woody.
89
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:13,456
I can't believe it.
Beth and Leonard Twilley.
90
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,877
Woody, today's Saturday, you know.
Uh, she could be here any minute.
91
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:22,090
Gosh, I'm feeling kind of bad.
Listen, if you'll excuse me,
92
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,800
I think I'd like to be alone now.
93
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:31,224
Oh, I guess it'd be easier if I left.
94
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:34,603
Uh, wait a sec, Wood.
95
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:39,107
You know, maybe this is really
a blessing in disguise.
96
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,943
You see, sometimes in
order to achieve maturity,
97
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:45,280
it's necessary to disengage oneself
from relationships
98
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:49,326
that keep one's growth rooted
in an artificially prolonged period of stasis.
99
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:50,911
I know just how you feel, Dr. Crane.
100
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,373
Woody, come on.
101
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,542
Sometimes thing work out
for the best, you know?
102
00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:58,752
Look at it this way.
103
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,046
Boston's crawling with
beautiful single women.
104
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:02,422
Just get out there.
105
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:03,882
He's right you know?
106
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,926
Take it from one who knows.
107
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,470
Yeah, but since Sammy's not
here, just take it from us.
108
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,640
Yeah, you know, he is,
uh, right there, Woody.
109
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:15,101
You know, the best way to forget about Beth
is go out there, find some skirt,
110
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,854
have her, use her, and throw her away.
111
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,066
Maybe you guys are right.
112
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,485
Maybe the best way to get over this
113
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:26,363
is to make wild, crazy, passionate love
114
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:29,366
to the first available woman
who comes along.
115
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,243
Woody, don't listen to them.
116
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:36,623
It's not necessary for you
to suppress your grief in debauchery
117
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:39,417
It's important for you to experience it.
118
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,796
People grow from intense suffering.
119
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:46,841
Yeah? Then how come I haven't grown an inch
since I've known you?
120
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:56,059
Oh, boy, Normie, look at this.
121
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:59,145
Another psychic's head exploded.
122
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:06,194
Kind of makes you wonder why anyone
goes into that line of work, doesn't it?
123
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,864
Excuse me.
124
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,867
I've been experiencing grief all afternoon.
125
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,787
And instead of killing myself,
I'd like to take you out to dinner.
126
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,040
Sounds great, but no, thank you.
127
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,084
Did I say it was my treat?
128
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,881
Woody, you've hit on nearly
every woman in the bar.
129
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,591
Why are you
so persistent?
130
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,552
Well, when Beth gets here,
you know,
131
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,595
I want to show her that
I got someone else, too.
132
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:36,266
If there's one thing I can't stand,
it's that look of pity in her eyes.
133
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:41,771
I'm sure she's far too wrapped up
in her own happiness to have time to pity you.
134
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,026
Well, that is
a comfort.
135
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:49,738
Hi, Woody.
136
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:54,200
- Oh, hi, Beth. Hi, Leonard.
- Did you get my letter?
137
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,037
- Yeah, I got it.
- Are you mad?
138
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,039
Oh, no, I'm not mad at all.
139
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:02,667
You know, you're the last person
in the world I ever wanted to hurt.
140
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,879
Hey, I'm fine, really.
Can I get you guys something to drink?
141
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,298
- Wine.
- How 'bout a brewski?
142
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,133
brewski.
143
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:16,306
Woody, we didn't mean
for this to happen.
144
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,058
It was fate.
145
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:21,978
I was in Fryer's Hardware Store
looking at some copper tubing.
146
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,106
Beth was buying a lawn sprinkler,
and, well...
147
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:27,025
I never stood a chance.
148
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:32,447
Oh, Leonard, I can't stand it.
Look what we've done to him.
149
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,449
I know, it's worse than
I thought it would be.
150
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,784
Oh, please, guys, don't do that.
151
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,995
How can we happily walk down the aisle
knowing we're leaving him here like this?
152
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:40,705
I won't be in the mood
for any cake.
153
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,457
Beth, Leonard, just--
154
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:46,294
I keep getting this picture of you
sitting alone in your room, night after night,
155
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,088
and it makes me want to cry.
156
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,341
Hi, Beth.
Nice to meet you, Leonard.
157
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:55,595
Woody, uh, don't you think it's time
to tell Beth about you-know-who?
158
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,013
Who?
159
00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:01,434
Well, that lovely young lady
you've been seeing so much of.
160
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,394
- Is this true?
- Yes.
161
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,023
I'm glad you found someone, Woody.
162
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,608
What's she like?
163
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:13,530
Well, uh, she's about four, five,
five, five feet four or five.
164
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,115
She's kind of hard to describe.
165
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,744
Cornflower-blue eyes,
166
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:23,414
Titian hair, Raphael esque figure.
167
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,958
And she smells good.
168
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:29,504
I feel so much better
knowing you won't be alone.
169
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:33,466
Well, come on, Leonard.
we'd better be going.
170
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,971
It was nice seeing you, Woody.
171
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,348
Bye, Beth.
172
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:41,724
Good luck.
173
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,018
Yeah, good luck, Beth.
174
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,396
Well, it's too bad
you two had to leave.
175
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,648
I know you would have
enjoyed meeting Woody's girlfriend.
176
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,651
- She's extraordinary.
- Yeah, we could have had dinner tonight.
177
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,612
Actually, our plane doesn't leave
till midnight.
178
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:58,074
Oh, that's right. Well,
we can all have dinner together.
179
00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,534
Oh, great.
180
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,661
- 8:00 Okay?
- Yeah. fine.
181
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,960
Way to go, Miss Chambers.
What am I gonna do now?
182
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,671
I'm sorry, Woody. I have a strict rule
183
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,840
about meddling in other people's affairs.
184
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,687
Why did Miss Chambers have
to shoot my big mouth off for me?
185
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,108
Boy, this is the worst thing
that's ever happened to anybody.
186
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:35,862
Oh, I don't know, about that, Woody.
Did you ever have your head explode?
187
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:41,326
Woody, as a way of apologizing,
188
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:44,621
let me try to think of another way out of this.
189
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,706
Now, let's see...
190
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,209
I'm sure we can think of something.
191
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:52,086
Well, it better be good,
'cause I need a date quick.
192
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,715
Oh, boy, it's too bad
Sammy's not here to help ya.
193
00:11:57,008 --> 00:12:00,303
Hey, Sammy may not be here,
but his inventory is.
194
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:02,764
Yeah, Woody.
195
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:03,890
- Hey hey hey!
- Woody,
196
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:07,227
put that down on the bar very carefully
and walk away.
197
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,649
Yeah, it's a little bit too hot
for you to handle there, Woodman.
198
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,693
I'll tell ya what I'll do. I'll give you
the number of one of my tootsies.
199
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,530
I think he'd prefer something
that lives above ground.
200
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,244
Wait a minute.
201
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:29,540
Do you really think it's proper to be rifling
through a man's personal papers?
202
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:32,168
No matter how close a
friend, no matter how...
203
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:35,213
- Miss Chambers, you're in here.
- Give me that.
204
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:40,218
"Diane Chambers. Probably the most
incredible woman I ever met.
205
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,970
Don't you agree, Diane?"
Well...
206
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,351
Hey, here's one.
207
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:51,104
Three stars. "Tina Wilson.
208
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:55,316
Fun, sexy, easy."
Well, she sounds interesting.
209
00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:58,695
And you know just what to do
with sweet Tina Wilson.
210
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,781
Have her, use her,
and I'll throw her away
211
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,034
I don't think you're
going to get an answer
212
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,286
Why not?
213
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,038
I'm sweet Tina Wilson.
214
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,002
What would be
a good time to call you?
215
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:21,009
Ah, it's not workin'.
I'm no good at this.
216
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:23,720
No, no, no, Woody.
Don't give up so easily.
217
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:28,016
Oh, here's one. Oh, look at this here,
the ultimate one, too, huh?
218
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,560
- She's got a whole page to herself.
- Yeah.
219
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,520
"Desiree Harrison."
220
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:33,855
Look at all those stars!
221
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:36,774
Yeah, any more stars
you'd have to pledge allegiance to her.
222
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:41,612
Yeah, hey.
"The best, the best, the best."
223
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,531
Hey, get on the
horn there, Woods.
224
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:47,994
Woody, something tells me
you shouldn't do this. Please reconsider.
225
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:50,788
Oh, that's easy for you to say.
You got him into this.
226
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:53,499
Why don't you do something
extraordinary for once and butt out?
227
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:58,880
What do I say to her?
228
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:03,176
- Uh, tell her you're a friend of Sam Malone.
- Good.
229
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:08,681
Hi, uh, De, Desiree?
Yeah, I'm a friend of Sam Malone.
230
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:15,146
- Hold on. She want to know why I called.
- Tell her that Sammy said she was the best.
231
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:17,690
- And you want to find out for yourself.
- Oh, good.
232
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:21,694
Uh, yeah, Sam says you're the best
and I wanna find out for myself.
233
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,490
- Hold on. She wants to know my name.
- Wing it.
234
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,785
Yeah, it's Woody Boyd.
235
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,287
Yeah, how about 7:00 tonight?
236
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:32,538
Yeah?
237
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,708
Okay, uh, well,
I'll see ya here in the bar.
238
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,668
Great.
239
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,087
All right, Woody!
240
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,299
Well, seein' as how
it's Gomer's night out...
241
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,012
That leaves me
in charge of the bar.
242
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,348
Oh, not necessarily.
243
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:54,852
Woody, who do you assign
to take command of the bar?
244
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,897
Well, I don't know how to
choose between the two of you.
245
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,191
Oh, I know, I know.
We're both your friends.
246
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,902
No, it's not that. You ruined
One potato, Two potato.
247
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,323
Okay, why don't we let the bar decide?
248
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,743
Well, that seems the fair
and democratic thing to do.
249
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:17,333
We should each make a speech
presenting our best arguments
250
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:21,129
as to why we should be in charge of the bar
and we'll leave it up to you.
251
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:24,590
Carla, the floor is yours,
and not for the first time, I might add.
252
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:34,559
If I'm elected, no way
will Diane make a speech.
253
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:49,949
Hubba-hubba!
254
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,326
How do I look? ls my tie crooked?
255
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,370
No, but your pants are on backwards!
256
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,123
Made you look!
257
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:02,962
That's very funny, Mr. Clavin, but I guess
I'm not in the mood for that clever humor
258
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,006
You and the rest of creation.
259
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:08,593
Yeah, I'm worried about
my date with, uh, Desiree.
260
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:12,722
She's one of Sam's women.
She may be too much for one man.
261
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,145
- Is there somebody here named Woody?
- Yeah.
262
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:20,646
I'm Desiree.
263
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:25,109
Uh, just a minute, please.
264
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,404
Is it me or does she look different
than she did on the phone?
265
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,282
She comes highly recommended
by the master
266
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:32,783
All right, here goes nothing.
267
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,038
- So, you're Desiree.
- Yeah.
268
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:38,581
Hi. I'm Woody.
269
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,626
Can I get your coat?
270
00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:46,172
- What's she doin' here?
- That's Woody's date.
271
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,925
Woody's going out with Sam's cleaning lady?
272
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,765
- Cleaning lady?
- That's right. Sam says she's the best.
273
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,896
- So how are you?
- Fine. Shall we get started?
274
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,022
What? Right, right here?
275
00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:05,608
Here, or in the back if you prefer.
276
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:09,654
- Well, don't you wanna eat dinner first?
- No, I'd like to get right to it.
277
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:11,781
I'll stop to eat
when I get a little tired.
278
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,115
Wow.
279
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:16,077
I figure you probably
have your own equipment.
280
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,620
If not, I have mine out in the car.
281
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:22,083
- What sort of equipment?
- Well, the first thing we'll need is a bucket.
282
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:25,169
- Really?
- Yeah, and some rubber gloves
283
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:27,296
and one of those really hard
brushes with a long handle.
284
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,759
You've got
to be kidding me.
285
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:35,054
Well, I need something to get
to those hard-to-reach places.
286
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,808
Would you excuse me
for a moment, please?
287
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:43,312
Guys, I think there's things
about Sam that we don't know.
288
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:47,108
No, no, Woody, she's not Sam's date.
She's his maid.
289
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,568
Yeah, Carla told us.
290
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,570
Those stars mean
she's the best housekeeper around.
291
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,616
Oh, boy, do I feel stupid!
292
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:57,868
What am I gonna do now?
293
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,663
Maybe you should,
uh, tell her the truth.
294
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,624
Yeah, yeah, okay
295
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,797
Uh, listen, ma'am,
296
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,632
I think there's been a terrible mistake.
297
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,426
- I don't think I'm gonna be...
- Hi, Woody
298
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,971
So that's what you call titian hair.
299
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,390
Hi. I'm Beth.
300
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:20,683
I'm Desiree.
301
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,351
This is my fiancé, Leonard.
302
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:23,644
Good.
303
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:31,986
Yeah, they're gonna be joining us
for dinner tonight.
304
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,279
Dinner?
305
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,656
You wanna take me out to dinner?
306
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,908
Yeah. So what do you say?
307
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,329
Well, beats scrubbing grout
with a toothbrush.
308
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:45,875
You folks and your
big city expressions!
309
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:48,669
Yes, I thought we'd eat at Melville's.
310
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,838
- If that's okay with you, ma'am.
- Okay.
311
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:57,178
I was expecting
someone a little younger, Woody.
312
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,346
Me, too.
313
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:05,811
That was fun.
314
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,564
Nice seein' ya.
Listen, have a nice marriage.
315
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,566
Well, didn't somebody mention dancing?
316
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,360
We still have time before
our plane leaves.
317
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,111
Now you want to take me dancing?
318
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,364
It sure beats scrubbing grout
with a toothbrush.
319
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,741
Hey, I could live here.
320
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,035
Let me go freshen up.
321
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:24,664
Oh, dancing.
Hope my knees hold out.
322
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:29,543
- Is it any wonder I love her?
- I like her, Woody.
323
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:33,047
Yeah, listen, why don't you two have a seat?
I'll get you somethin' to drink.
324
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:41,555
Woody...
325
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:46,727
I know I got you into this,
but it's time to stop.
326
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:51,065
I know Beth hurt you,
but she doesn't deserve to be lied to.
327
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:54,902
Besides, would your mother be proud of you
if she knew what you were doing?
328
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,199
Let Beth know how you feel.
329
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,284
I think it would do you both good.
330
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,371
You're right, Miss Chambers.
331
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,957
I guess I owe Beth that much.
332
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,713
Oh, you won't tell my mother, will you?
333
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:17,967
Mum's the word.
334
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,928
You won't tell my mum, will you?
335
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:33,524
Excuse me, Beth, can
I talk to you for a moment?
336
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:36,193
- Sure Woody.
- Excuse us, Leonard.
337
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:40,990
Sure. You're not gonna steal her
back from me, are you, Woody?
338
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:43,200
- Go drink your beer, Leonard.
- Yes, dear.
339
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,374
Uh, listen, Beth.
340
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,172
Desiree's not my girlfriend.
341
00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,467
Well, I had a feeling.
342
00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:03,929
- What gave it away?
- She forgot your name during dinner.
343
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:09,018
See, I was so hurt, I, I didn't want you to
think that I was on my own.
344
00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:10,561
I'm sorry.
345
00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:14,774
But you know we couldn't have lasted.
We've grown apart.
346
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:19,445
We're just too different now.
You're the adventurous type
347
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,572
I just want to settle down
348
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:23,866
I love you, Beth.
349
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,119
I love you too, Woody.
350
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,623
Leonard's more a part of my world.
351
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:33,042
Maybe I could move back to Indiana.
352
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:36,921
- Do you want to do that?
- No.
353
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,882
And I could never live in Boston, so...
354
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:42,885
How does that leave us?
355
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:45,387
Real sad?
356
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:47,056
Yeah.
357
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:52,603
- Well, I hope you get happy.
- There's, uh, something I want to give you.
358
00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:54,772
On no, it's okay. The drinks are on me.
359
00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:57,942
No. I meant this.
360
00:22:02,613 --> 00:22:03,864
Good-bye, Woody.
361
00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:09,328
That, Leonard, is how the tractor was born.
362
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,252
Come on, Leonard. We
have a plane to catch.
363
00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:19,421
Okay. Well, good-bye.
364
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,967
You guys ever find yourselves in Indiana,
you know what to do.
365
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:25,678
Yeah, run screamin' to the airport.
366
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,057
See you, Woody.
367
00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:32,434
Bye, Leonard.
You take care of her.
368
00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:33,644
I will.
369
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:35,312
You better.
370
00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:43,779
Are you okay, Woody?
371
00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:48,367
I feel pretty bad.
372
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:53,330
It hurts, but at least it's settled.
Now I can go back to bein' Woody Boyd again.
373
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:56,792
Oh, hey, Woody Boyd,
what about Mrs. Clean in the back there?
374
00:22:57,543 --> 00:23:02,423
Come on, you guys. Take it easy.
She happens to be a very nice lady.
375
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:04,049
We had a good time tonight.
376
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:06,677
She talked about all
kinds of interesting things:
377
00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:08,053
Movies, sports...
378
00:23:08,262 --> 00:23:10,139
How to get cat hair out of the drapes...
379
00:23:15,978 --> 00:23:16,937
Good-bye, Woody.
380
00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:19,315
Uh, no, Desiree, please, don't go.
381
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:20,482
I'm not stupid.
382
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,526
Don't pay any attention to them.
383
00:23:24,153 --> 00:23:27,406
Look, I'm not exactly sure
what happened here tonight.
384
00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:30,034
Something tells me you
got trapped into this.
385
00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:32,411
So I'm gonna let you off the hook.
386
00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:36,832
Now, look, when I talked to you earlier today,
I admit I thought you were somebody else.
387
00:23:36,999 --> 00:23:39,335
But I had fun tonight. I like you.
388
00:23:41,629 --> 00:23:46,508
I guess what I'm tryin' to say is
I need somebody to talk to.
389
00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:49,762
What'd you have in mind?
390
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:53,849
I don't know. I thought maybe
a cup of coffee?
391
00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:56,810
Sure. Why not?
392
00:23:58,187 --> 00:24:02,274
This isn't gonna turn into one of those
May/December romances, is it?
393
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:06,195
Well, with the holidays comin' up,
December's no good, but May's okay.
29810