All language subtitles for Cheers.S05E09.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Hey, Sam.

Hey, Woody.

Is it all right if I hang
some Christmas decorations in here?

Sure. Boy, is it that time again?

Wow. Christmas comes earlier
every year, doesn't it?

Well, no.
I think if you check, Sam,

it always comes
on the 25th of December.

Of course, of course.

Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, look at that,
will you?

Nice Rudolph.

- I made it myself.
- No kidding.

You know, Rudolph's my favorite guy
in the Christmas songs.

Yeah.

Apparently, then, Woody,
you're unaware

that the story of Rudolph
the red-nosed reindeer

is one of the most unrealistic

and therefore potentially damaging

in all of children's music.

It gives them
a horribly distorted view of reality.

Yeah, but got to admit it,
it's easy to whistle.

No, I'm serious.

First, the other reindeer
tease and then ostracize him,

and then when his abnormality
proves of service, they use him.

But then do they allow him
to play in their stupid reindeer games?

- Yes.
- Yes.

No, no. I know
how the song goes.

In fact, not only
do Donner, Blitzen, et. al

not love him
and laugh out with glee,

but they doubly despised
the bulbous-nosed little wimp.

Well, I gotta be off.
Happy holidays!

Prithee, friends,
what thinks thou?

You look ridiculous.

I beg your pardon.

This is an absolutely
authentic example

of feminine colonial headwear.

I'm sorry.
Thou lookest ridiculous.

Hey, Miss Chambers,
what's the pilgrim get-up for?

I was hoping somebody might ask.

We're going to have
to talk later, Woody.

My graduate American literature
professor, Dr. Narsutis,

annually recreates
the first thanksgiving dinner at his home.

He only invites two or three
favorite students

To break bread
with his family

and other honored guests,
such as William Styron,

and guess who's
going to be there.

William Styron?

Yes, Woody...

Heck, anybody could have got it
if they'd really been listening.

What a wonderful opportunity
for you, Diane.

Perhaps in the evening you can
establish a rapport with Mr. Styron

while passing the yams.

Who knows, come pie time, he may well
have taken you under his wing

and launched you
into the literary galaxy.

Frasier, you and I
are of like mind.

Except one of us is kidding.

Sam, I'd thought we'd spend
the holidays together,

but when you made
no move in that direction,

I made these alternate plans.
I hope it won't spoil your holiday.

Thank you.
No. I have other plans.

Oh, good.
I'm glad to hear that.

And in all fairness, I will understand
if you get an escort for the day.

It really wouldn't hurt my feelings
in the slightest.

Good. 'Cause I already have
a date with Wendy.

How could you?

Now you just said
that it was okay, didn't you?

Yes.

I'm sorry.

It's fine.

Enjoy.

Thank you.

Besides, I know we'll have
many holidays together

when you and I are one.

You already are one, Diane.

So, what's everybody else doing?

- I don't know.
- The usual.

Well, that sounds like fun, too.

Well, I'm on my own
this year.

- Kids aren't with you?
- No.

They're in Atlantic City with Nick.

This is my first Thanksgiving
away from home,

I mean, unless you count last year.

Wait a second. Listen to you.
Carla, you have a new place.

- You could have a little gathering.
- Forget it.

Oh, come on.

What could be more enjoyable

than opening your heart
with holiday cheer.

Opening yours
with a can opener?

That sounds great.

No, I meant the first part,
Miss Chambers.

Well, why not?

But it's going to have to be potluck.

Sammy, why don't you
bring your date and join us?

All right, tell you what, Carla.

I'm good for dessert.

So I've been told.

I'm glad you're all fending off
the holiday blues.

This time of year's
filled with arguments,

suicides, murders.

Yeah, I guess
it's the seasonal happiness of others

tends to throw a glaring light
on flaws

in our own interpersonal relationships.

But see, of course,
that's no problem for me. I'm alone.

Want to join us
for some bird, Frasier?

Could I?

Sure. The more the merrier.

So, what time do you
want us there, Carla?

What do you mean "us", Clavin?

Well, you know--

This party is for lonelies,
not home lies.

Besides, you'll be with your mother.

No, no. Not this year.

She's going down and ladling out
some cream-of-something

to the folks down at
the rescue mission.

- Oh, how sweet.
- Why don't you join her?

Are you kidding?
I did my part this year.

I was in "Hands Across America,'
remember?

Okay.

Norm, how about you and Vera?

No, I can't make it this year.

Why not? I mean,
we've never even met Vera.

We've got to go
to Vera's mother's.

Such a drag--
no beer,

no TV, heat turned up to 80.

That's all right, Normie.

You got to do what your little wifey
wants you to do.

You got them or you don't.

You know something,
Cliff?

You're absolutely right.

Eight years I've been going
to that old bat's house.

I think Vera owes me one,
all right?

I'm going to march into that house.
I'm just gonna say, "Vera...

"This year we're going to Carla's
for Thanksgiving.

That's the last I want to hear
on the subject."

- Yeah!
- Good for you, Norm.

Okay, Norm's out!

Count me in, all right?
You'll see.

Well... my house, noonish?

This is going to be
the greatest!

I'm so relieved.

Now I don't worry about
my poor little Thanksgiving orphans

Whilst I sup with the literati.

Boy, you know, I don't know
who's luckier.

You, 'cause you get to go
to that great party

or us because you get to go
to that great party.

- Hey!
- Oh!

And there's the gun,
ending the first half...

This is like
being back home.

Hey, Carla, look,
I want to tell you

how much I appreciate
you inviting me over here.

Don't mention it.

I really appreciate it.

No, I mean, don't
ever mention to anyone

that I let you in this house.

May I change the channel

or are you guys watching
this half time salute

to our fabulous universe?

Yeah, go ahead.

Oh, the parade!

And who's this flying our way?

None other than
a 60-foot mighty mouse.

All right!
Mighty Mouse!

I'll get it.

Afternoon, everybody.

- Normie!
- Norm!

Where's Vera?

She's... going to put on
a little more make-up.

That first coat
didn't really take.

She is coming, isn't she?

Well... maybe.

What are you saying there, Normie?

We had the worst fight
of our marriage.

Oh, gee. That's tough.

She knew how much
this meant to me,

and she still insisted
on going to her mother's.

So I told her,
"Look, I'm going to Carla's.

You want to meet me there?
Fine.

If you want to go to your mother's,
you can just stay there."

Brutal.

You know, Norm,
I don't think you should worry about it.

She'll probably come to her senses
and show up.

The important thing is
that you're here with us now.

This is gonna be
the best thanksgiving ever.

All right, Woody.

I brought that turkey.

That turkey seems
kind of big and raw.

You think it's gonna be ready
in time for dinner?

I had planned on just a bit more
cooking time, Woods

but traffic on I-93
was bumper to bumper.

I-93? I took side streets.

I got here in 35 minutes, buddy.

You didn't take Mass Avenue.

No. Commonwealth--

I swear to god--

Commonwealth runs--

I need the quickest way
to get to the kitchen now.

Come on. I'll show you
where everything is.

Hey. No waiting around
for my contribution.

Here you go.

- Popcorn balls.
- Chow down.

Are these what you brought
to the Halloween party.

Yeah. They're a perennial favorite,
Wood man.

Yeah, but aren't these
the ones you brought to...

Let me.

Hi.

Hi, Sammy. I thought
maybe you were Vera.

Boy, I can't wait to meet her.

Hey, Sammy.

How are you, Sam?

Where's your date?

Aw, well, change of plans.

Her sister showed up
from out of town

and they didn't like my idea.
So what the hell.

Hey, guys.

Hey. Yeah.

Watching. Great.

You know, the important thing
is that you're here now.

We're all here.
This is gonna be the greatest.

Who needs family?

You know Woody, you're right.

Family is not necessarily limited
to blood relations.

That's right.

It's better than hanging out
with a bunch of dingbat cousins

all day long, that you don't see
but once a year.

Or waiting for some nutty old aunt

to show up
and spoil all your fun.

Gobble, gobble.

Carla, open the door.

No!

It's Thanksgiving, Carla.

Oh, okay.

Maybe she'll choke
on a drumstick.

Thank you, Carla.

Hello, everyone.

Hey, Miss Chambers.

Hey, uh...

Diane.

Carla, I like what you've
done with the place.

What do you want?

Well, I decided I'd rather
be among friends

Than with my stuffy old professor.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

What happened?

- Oh...
- Come on.

I'm afraid
my golden afternoon

turned to dross.

I thought it was clouding up.

The moment I arrived
at the home of my professor

I was greeted by a man
with a clipboard

who handed me a tray
and told me to serve

a daiquiri to Miss Radziwill.

We students were invited
as domestic help.

Heh heh heh!

It might be all right

when you're
a wide-eyed 19-year-old,

but it's not all right
when you're... not.

We're all very sorry, Diane.

Thank you, Sam.

At least you told that pinhead off,
didn't you?

Oh, I dropped the tray,
burst into tears,

took a moment to freshen up
my mascara, and fled.

The important thing
is you're here now.

This is gonna be great.

Somebody put a gag
on Andy Hardy.

You know Diane, if I were you,
I'd call that guy up

and nail his sheepskin
to the wall.

You're absolutely right.

Hey! Better yet,
why don't you go on over there

and tell him in person?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Good idea.

Hello. Dr. Narsutis?
This is Diane Chambers.

Yes, the one who fled.

Listen--I beg your pardon?

Well, yes, of course
I accept your apology.

He's invited me back.

Go. Go.

Best thing that
could happen.

Dr. Narsutis,
I'm sorry. I can't.

I'm here with my friends,
my support system,

and there's really
no place I'd rather be.

I trust this won't
affect my grade.

Thank you.

Good day, Sir.

Turned him
down, huh?

Now that I find myself
in the warmth of your company,

how could I possibly go?

The street.

I-93.

You holiday hooligans,

give me a beer.

So, Sam--thanks.

Where's your date?

Oh, change of plans.

Her sister showed up.

Of course she did.

Chortle, chortle.

No, I'm serious. I had a date,
and it fell through.

You don't have to convince me, Sam.
I believe you.

I'm telling you the truth.

And I love you for it.

How's the turkey doing there,
Norm?

I'd say pretty good
for about five minutes.

Half time's over.
The game's back on.

Oh, you're
watching sports?

Don't worry about it, Diane.
Game's almost over.

Oh, I hope so.

I deliver his mail.

Isn't this game
over yet?

Not yet.

Well, their uniforms

are different colors
than before.

They gotta to change them
every time they score a touchdown.

Normie, where the hell's that bird?

It's a big turkey.

So are you.

Now wait a minute!

Diane, you're absolutely right.

Let's turn it back on football, guys.

No, no, no!
Enough is enough!

I don't think
watching television

was the pilgrim's original intent

when they created
the holiday.

Well, uh...

- No, hey...
- Come on!

Look, look, look.
The turkey's probably almost done.

Let's adjourn to the dining room.

Wonderful idea, Norman.
Wonderful.

Okay. We'll be sitting
boy, girl, boy, girl.

Clavin, you can sit anywhere.

Somebody save me a seat.
I got to see a man about a horse.

He doesn't really have to
see a man about a horse.

Yes. All right.

What do you say
we dig into this jell-o surprise here?

We're not eating
until the turkey's on the table.

Everybody went to a lot of bother
to make this fine meal.

We're not gonna eat
it in pieces.

Keep your hands
off the food.

Listen, guys, the turkey's
not exactly browned just yet.

So, what color is it, then?

Off-white.

I reset the timer
and turned up the gas.

I expect the little pop thing
will be popping out any time now.

I hope in a hurry
because I'm starved.

Well, I suggest we take advantage
of the delay

and engage in one of my family's
favorite little Thanksgiving traditions.

Sam, I know you're standing
in the hallway. get in here.

Rats.

In lieu of grace,

we stand up and take turns

toasting that for which
we are thankful.

Since you're already standing, Sam,
why don't you begin?

All right. I'm, uh...

I'm thankful that I...
have a super car

and a cool stereo

and that I'm not dressed
in a pilgrim's outfit.

You make a mockery
of everything.

Oh, well...

Hey, can I go next?

I don't see a line.

Woody! Woody! Woody!

Woody! Woody! Woody!

I'm thankful
I'm an American.

Hey, all right.

I'm thankful for the upbringing
my parents gave me.

I'm thankful for all the friends
I've made in Boston.

And I'm thankful
that I can do this.

Yo!

Put it away! Whew!

Man!

Can you guys do this?

Oh, my God!

That makes my thing
look kind of stupid.

Look at me wiggle my ears.
Watch this.

Look at these ears flapping.

Please, please!

We are not here to be thankful
for strange things

we can do with our bodies.

Norman, you're next.

I'm thankful there's a turkey
in the kitchen that needs to be checked.

Yeah, get the damn thing out here!

All right.

I guess I need to give you
an indication what I had in mind.

I, too, am very thankful for my health
and for my dear friends,

but on this very special occasion,

my mind goes back
over the years

to the people
who have influenced me.

I'd like to name
some for you.

Teilhard' Dechardin...

Georges Sand...

Caravaggio...

Oh, Emily Dickinson...

The Buddha...

Frank Lloyd Wright...

Jeanne D'arc...

Shari Lewis and Lambchop...

Guys, listen,
I'm having a slight problem

with the damn bird.

What color
is it now?

I think we're moving into
the earth tones.

This better be good news, Norm.

Look, I'm sorry, guys.
The little pop thing won't pop out.

Something's wrong with it.

Something's wrong with you.

No, no.
It's the little pop thing.

Could somebody
please explain to me

where the little pop thing is
on the turkey?

'Cause maybe it's
different in the city,

but in the country
where I come from,

turkeys aren't born
with little pop things.

The little pop thing
has a name!

It's called
a thermometer!

Now, can we all please say thermometer?

- Thermometer! Thermometer!
- Yeah!

We can say it 'til we're blue in the face.

It's not gonna make it
pop out any faster!

I think something's wrong
with your oven, Carla.

Hey, my oven was just fine

until you stuffed bird zilla inside!

Come on, you guys.
come on!

We don't have to bite
each others' heads off here.

It may be the only thing
we get to eat this day, Sammy.

Hey, guys,
this is thanksgiving.

And I still say
it's gonna be the greatest.

Who the hell do we
think we're kidding?

We're all a bunch
of pathetic dropouts...

Scorned by our loved ones,

as if anybody ever
loved us at all.

Will you lighten up,
man?

The only thing wrong here
is we're hungry.

Now, who else wants to join me
in these...

ice cold potatoes?

They'll go great here
with the jell-o soup.

I'm dying to try some of the hair
growing on the crudites.

Well, pass me my peas.

I made them,
so I know they're okay.

Was that remark
directed at me, Carla?

No. It was directed
at your stupid turkey

and your stupid stuffing

and your stupid gravy!

What's wrong
with my gravy?

Nothing! Except you could walk
across the skin on top of it!

I'm sorry, Julia Child.

Here's your perfect peas.

Oh, look. I spilled one.
Sorry.

Thank you.

Norm, I'm sorry about what I said
about your gravy.

- All right.
- It's okay.

So are the carrots.

Anybody want some of these,
uh...lovely yams?

Woody, would you care
to test the gravy skin?

People, people,
people, people!

Stop this immediately!

I have never been witness

to such a silly, Soph--

Sam Malone...

Kiss your butt good-bye!

See? I knew this
was gonna be the greatest.

Good bird.

Hey, Diane, may I say

You look saucy in cranberry.

Laugh while you can, Sam.

Just remember that revenge

ls a dish best served cold.

You won't know when
and you won't know where,

but I'm going to get you.

Now that we're done with dinner,
I'd like to make a toast

to our loved ones
who weren't fortunate enough

- to be here with us.
- That's a nice thought.

Mom, Dad.
Uncle Fergie.

My kids.

All right, Vera.

- Ma.
- Coach.

- Yeah!
- Hear hear.

Oh, God bless you all.

Well, I think we're about ready
for dessert.

Yeah.

Everybody get eat enough?

I never got a chance to try the potatoes.

Oh, well, here, let me...

Thank you.

Vera, you came.

Honey, I'm so happy.

Hey, you guys.

Come on, Vera, come on
and meet all the guys.

This is great.
We finally get to meet Vera.

Sam... think fast!

Everybody, this is Vera.

Charming friends, Norm.
Get your coat.

Yes, dear.