All language subtitles for Cheers.S05E04.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.

So grab your rod, reel,
and join us next week

when Jim takes us trolling
on lake winnipesaukee.

Nice show.

Well, if you ask me,
there's something wrong

with watching televised fishing.

Not the same impact
as watching it live, Woody?

Hey, you know something?
I got a great idea. What's to stop us

from taking a little
fishing trip ourselves?

We don't want to?

Come on, it would be fun,
you know? We could go

this very afternoon,
head out to lake winthrop.

What do you say?

All right, okay,
let's get organized here.

Woody, you be in charge

- of bait and tackle, okay?
— gotcha.

Cliffie, in charge of food

- and transportation. — okay.

What are you in charge of,
Mr. Peterson?

Finding a reason not to go.

Here we go.

Gladiator film festival
at the majestic.

Hey, that's a good one.

Degustibus nomnis depandem!

- Hi, Sam.

Some customer was in
with some tickets to some concert.

Sounded foreign and dull.

I thought you wouldn't
want to miss it.

Thank you.

Jean-Pierre rampal?

It was just some customer.
Didn't really catch his name.

He's a flautist.

Nothing less than brilliant.

No other player
could so eloquently fuse

the world of classical music
to that of modern jazz.

What a perfect performer
for us to see

on this, our first official date together

in our newfound relationship.

What should I wear,

something long or tea length?

Why don't you wear something
you can stretch out in.

The seat next to you
is gonna be empty.

- Sam. — come on, please,

can't you scrape
somebody else up to go? Please.

And the operative word
there is "scrape."

There's only one man
I want to be with.

No. I'll go alone.

And it'll be fine.

Miss chambers, I might be back

from my fishing trip
in time to take you

if I don't stop
to clean up first.

No, thank you, Woody.
That's very sweet.

Maybe next time.

Okey-doke, but I don't know

when I'm gonna
be going fishing again.

Cliffie, it was not ten.
I had 11 of them, 11!

You're wrong, normie. Wrong!

How was the gladiator
film fest, fellas?

Not now, Sammy.
We're awash in controversy.

You had ten, norm, just like me.

- Ten what? — anachronisms.

Those things that aren't
in the time period

in which the film was set.

I mean, I like to see
who gets the most.

Today it was me. 11.

Normie, you had ten just like me.
There was no way

was Caesar Augustus
wearing reeboks.

So, you guys ready
to go fishing?

We got to, you know,
Woody, couple beers first.

You know, I worked up
a powerful thirst

watching Thracian dogs
smite spartan pigs.

Greetings, everyone.

Hey, frasier, how about a beer?

Well, Sam, just make it
a club soda.

I've got to appear on TV today.
I want to keep my wits about me.

- Oh, my.
- No kidding?

- What's the TV show?
- It's a local talk show

called psychology this week.

- Maybe you've heard of it.
- — I know all about that show.

It's where once a week
a couple of shrinks get together

and debate certain aspects
of the psychological condition.

That's right.

Man, we had to pick today
to go fishing, huh, cliff?

I'm surprised.
I didn't know you were a fan.

Well, he was,
but he stopped watching

when they lost the hostess
with the big hindenburgs.

It's on at 4:00.
It promises to be very cerebral

and, I might add,
darn entertaining.

Unfortunately, frasier, it interferes

with another highly cerebral event,

the raiders/patriots game.

Yeah, right.

I realize that football's a rarity
on television in the fall,

but don't you think
we could spare half an hour

to see our friend frasier?

Do you have any idea
how much action you can miss

in a half an hour of football?

About 18 seconds.

All right.
I guess it won't hurt. Much.

Thank you, Sam.

Cheers.

Yeah, hold on a second.

You want to tell me
what the taxicab was doing

parked in front of
the temple of Athena?

All right. It was...

Probably taking
Demetrius to the airport.

Well, thank you.

As it turns out,

you can now watch your game
with a clear conscience.

I won't be doing
that show after all.

What changed your mind, frasier?

Well, Dr. Foster had to cancel and...

Dr. Sternin is going
to take his place.

Lilith sternin?

You mean that...

Pardon my French,
woman you once dated?

That's a rather
charitable description, cliff.

I just hope they can find
someone to replace me

as readily as they did Dr. Foster.

Can't handle debating a woman?

A woman, yes.
An ice cube in heels, no.

Look, I have no intention
of entering a debate

with those cold, gray eyes
and those clever smirking lips.

I'd rather clip my nails
in a cuisinart.

Oh, my!

- What's wrong?
- Don't you see? Frasier's in love.

- He's what?
- Oh, come on, Sam.

You're forgetting I was once
romantically involved with frasier.

I know when he's enamored
of someone.

Didn't you see
his nostrils flare?

And everyone knows

that hate is not
the opposite of love,

indifference is.

Well, whatever you say.
I really don't care.

Touché, Sam.

Let's be honest.

Quite often you've expressed feelings

of antagonism towards me,

and we both know
how much you love me.

I do not love you, Diane,
and I have the nostrils to prove it.

You're wrong about frasier.

I mean, I know
psycho—babble when I hear it,

and I also...

Frasier...

There's a theory
going around the bar

that you're ticked off
with Dr. Sternin

because you're in love with her.
What do you think?

Well, it sounds like someone

who doesn't know
shortcake from shinola.

Hey, good guess.
Good guess, Diane.

Oh, well,

that's nothing but
mere cocktail—party psychology.

Believe it or not, Sam,
it's actually possible

to have hostile feelings
toward someone

without being in love with them.

You mean I can actually
hate Diane

without having it mean
anything more than I hate her?

Feel free.

I better cancel that appearance
before it's too late.

Frost warning.

Good afternoon, Dr. Crane.

Dr. Sternin.

What a lovely surprise.

I hope I can regard that

as civility in light
of today's situation

rather than sarcasm
at my expense.

No, that was completely
at your expense.

You know, I wasn't gonna do
today's show

when I heard
you were the other guest.

But then I realized
I'd relish proving

my superiority
over you in public.

Yes, that appeals to me, too.

So I felt we should
at least discuss

some procedures of conduct.

Don't you dare.

My mistake.

So, am I to assume
that you just naturally thought

that I'd be
at this drinking establishment?

Actually, knowing
your obsessive compulsiveness,

I checked with your service,
and indeed you'd left them

a very complete itinerary
of your day.

I trust all went well
at the dry cleaners?

Thank you, yes.

Then I can assume
from your questioning

that you're attempting
to make idle conversation

rather than articulating

some controlled dysfunction
with my personal habits.

That's correct.

Are they fighting?

First of all,

I think any mention
of our past relationship

could tarnish
the objectivity factor of the show.

You call that a relationship?

I mean, we dated one time.

The closest we came
to physical contact

was when you closed
the car door on my hand.

Are you repressing?

Forgive me.
Actually you're quite right.

Yes, I should be straightforward
in telling you

that you are passionless,
stoic, and emotionally numb.

- Apology accepted.
- Merci.

Yeah, I'm sure they're fighting.
He just asked for mercy.

Secondly, I think perhaps...

Look, Dr. Sternin,
if you'll excuse me,

I have to cash a check
and fill up my gas tank

- before the show.
— yes, I know.

Have the attendant make sure
your tires aren't as inflated as your ego.

You know, you perplex me.

Yes, normally, people
of your limited physical appeal

make up for it
with an actual personality.

Dr. Sternin, excuse me.

I overheard Dr. Crane's remarks.

If it's any consolation,
I can empathize

with your hurt feelings,

if you'd like to share
any of them with me.

As a fellow woman,
I would consider it an honor.

Who are you?

Diane chambers.

I'm an old friend of Dr. Crane's,

a student, and until
my imminent marriage,

an employee at cheers.
Please, let's sit down.

Well, I suppose
I am just a little sensitive

when it pertains
to my appearance.

Well, if I may be so bold
as to step into your arena,

I believe that frasier's hostility

is masking
a deep attraction to you.

Thank you, Diane.
It's been a long time

since I've had
such a good laugh.

Why would frasier crane
be attracted to me?

- I'm not that kind of woman.
- — but you can be.

It just takes a little softening
of the edges.

Perhaps loosen the bun a bit

to release some of the tension
in your face.

I'm afraid
it's not as easy as all that.

That's nonsense.
Look, I'm not far from here.

Why don't you
come over to my place,

and I'll show you what I mean.

We'll just put
a little more make-up on

I really don't think
I can do that.

Come on, Dr. Sternin.

You're going to be
on television today.

A little refinement
of your appearance

might give you an edge
in the debate.

Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt.

Good. Let me get my things.

Sam, may I have
my purse, please?

And I'm going to be taking
my lunch a little early today.

Thank you for showing up at all.

You're welcome.

Shall we go?

You know, I've always envied
women like you

who can simply
tumble out of bed each morning

looking blonde and perky.

Well, I must admit,

in my case, there's
a little labor involved.

She calls in local 416.

Come on, guys.

Okay, the tank's full
and the gear's all loaded.

I got everything we could
possibly need for a fishing trip.

Hey, Woody, look, we're right
in the middle of the game.

I got a battery-operated
portable TV in the car.

We got a few beers
to finish here yet, buddy.

I got a cooler full
icing down in the trunk.

Yeah, I think the kid's
outlasted us, norm.

Hot dog! Look out, trout!

If you guys don't mind,
I'll do the driving.

All right, I got shotgun.

Wouldn't it be more sporting
to use a fishing pole?

This is going to be great!

It's a fumble!

Willard picks it up...

Come on! Come on!

Oh, come on! What are you doing?

Now let's all check our watches.

Did we not promise
to watch frasier's show at 4:00?

- Everybody see it? — yeah!

All right, fine.
I'm not gonna play cat and mouse

with the silly remote control box.

You know, all you people
ever see of frasier crane

is an ordinary Joe
sitting at the bar

being one of the guys.

You should see him
in his métier.

He's a brilliantly
perceptive man.

Does somebody have a box
that will shut her up?

No, but I'd be glad
to do it manually.

No. Come on, you guys,
we made a promise.

Thank you, Sam.

First I'd like to introduce
Dr. Frasier crane.

Dr. Crane is an eminent psychiatrist
here in the Boston area,

specializing in the treatment
of phobias.

Joining Dr. Crane
in this discussion is Dr. Lilith sternin.

Dr. Sternin is a member
of the psychiatric staff

at Boston general hospital.

- Welcome, Dr. Sternin.
- Thank you.

Dr. Crane.

You really made her
look beautiful, Diane.

Physician, heal thyself.

You've made many
excellent points, Dr. Sternin.

How do you respond
to them, Dr. Crane?

Dr. Crane?

Excuse me.
What was the question?

Yes, of course. Excuse me.

Yes. My method of flooding...

Seeks out the patient's...

Most sensitive
and vulnerable spot...

In the defense system and...

Penetrates...

Probing deeper and deeper...

Into the patient's psyche,

thrusting over and over...

Thereby uncovering the reality
behind the irrational fear.

Thank you, Dr. Crane.

Anything to add, Dr. Sternin?

Although Dr. Crane's method is faster...

A slow and methodical approach

can be much more rewarding.

Gentle stroking of the psyche

will bring about
a far more intense

release of emotion,

building...

Until the patient quite often
will literally cry out

in the release
of satisfaction and joy.

Point well taken.

This intellectual stuff's
getting me all hot.

This is embarrassing.
We shouldn't be watching this.

Well, maybe just a little longer.

And that concludes
this afternoon's program.

Dr. Sternin, Dr. Crane,

thank you for joining us.

Excuse me.

For a written transcript
of this afternoon's show,

please send a self-addressed
stamped envelope

to psychology this week,

box 84037,

Boston, Massachusetts,

what was that box number again?

Hey, fellas,
how was the fishing trip?

Would've been a little better
without cliff's jabbering.

Guy catches one fish,
turns into Ernest Hemingway.

- Congratulations, cliff.
- — thank you, Sammy.

Yeah, it was man against fish.

The rest of the world
was shut out.

He was a good fish,

a clean fish,

a strong fish.

Get that stinking
slimy thing out of here,

and take your fish with you.

Frasier, I didn't expect
to see you here.

Thought you'd be exchanging
psychological positions with Dr. Sternin.

Please, Sam.

I made a complete fool
of myself today and Dr. Sternin.

If they'd have had a hose
at the studio,

they would have turned it on us.

Actually, that sounds
kind of fun.

I'll never be able to look her
in the eye again.

The only consolation is that
nobody ever watches that show.

Way to go, sex machine.

I'm ruined. Half of new england
saw me today as a rutting pig.

Come on, frasier,
you're not in rut, you're in love.

Nonsense. I don't think

that because two people
breathe heavily on a TV show

is any cause for them
to declare their undying love.

Breathe heavily?

I thought you were gonna
suck in a chair there.

Listen, a TV station

may not have been
the best place in the world

to sprout antlers,
but it happened. Go with it.

Dr. Sternin, you're back.

Diane, I'd like to thank you
for your pygmalion-like efforts.

I'd like to but I can't
because they've led to disaster.

Good evening, Dr. Crane.

Dr. Sternin,

- it's nice to see you again.
— and you.

I apologize for my
overzealous behavior

this afternoon
and for making fools of us both.

Yes, well, I would also
like to apologize

for my completely
unprofessional attitude and...

I promise you that that sort of thing
will never happen again.

Fine. I've already penned a letter

to the American
psychiatric association

apologizing for my behavior.
I would suggest that you do likewise.

Of course.

And I think perhaps for the sake
of our professional reputations,

it's best we put
this matter behind us

and go on with our lives.

That is probably wise.

You see, I've already lost
three patients

as a result of today's fiasco.

That's odd. I picked up three.

While we're
on the subject, Dr. Crane,

I suggest that your behavior indicates

an unacceptable level
of sexual frustration.

You strike me as a man
who needs professional help.

Or perhaps a girlfriend.

And you strike me as a woman
who could use a good cuffing.

- Good day, Dr. Crane.
- — good day, Dr. Sternin.

Just a moment, Dr. Sternin.

Sam,

isn't the refrigerator door stuck again?

I don't think so.

I think it is,

and we need a hairpin
to open it up.

Dr. Sternin,
could we borrow a hairpin?

I don't see
how a hairpin will help.

Strangely enough, it does.

Don't you see?

What these two people
who are such geniuses of romance

are trying to do

is to get you
to take your hair down,

thinking that it will stimulate me
like some pavlovian dog.

So why don't you
just oblige them,

get this silliness over with
so we can get on with our lives?

You mean like this?

Precisely.

- You know what?
- What?

I'm going to kiss you...

I'm going to kiss you hard,
and I'm going to kiss you long.

But make no mistake about it,
I am going to kiss you.

In fact, I'm going to kiss you
like you've never...

Yes, like that.

Now, listen, Lilith,

I think you and I have just been
too articulate for words.

We talk and we talk,
and what we really want to do

- is show how we feel.
— I think, Dr. Crane...

Look, I don't care
what you think.

We both want to be animals.
Now, I'm going back

to my tastefully decorated
townhouse and prove it.

But I suggest you come with me.

I think I see what you're trying
to do, Dr. Crane,

and I just want you to know...

It worked.

Let's go.

Isn't it exciting to see the blush
of newfound love on their faces?

Do you realize
we've just seen the birth of a new...

Don't you have some place to go?

Oh, yes...

The concert...

By myself.

I'll go.

And sure, I'll be alone,
but I don't care

because I'm in love,

and no one who's truly in love
can ever be alone.

And I know my fellow loves me.

He just doesn't know it yet.

So I'll go to this concert,
listen to the music,

and dream again of the day
when he'll be sitting beside me,

holding my hand,

sharing the moment.

That's my dream

and mine alone.

- No one can...
- — get her out of here!

- I'll go.
- — only if you really want to.

But this is not a date.

The fact that we sit together
has nothing to do with anything.

We're gonna take separate cabs,

I will not talk to you
during the intermission,

I'm not gonna take you
anywhere afterwards,

and we will not mention
this ever again, okay?

- Fine. — okay.

Is that love or what?