All language subtitles for Cheers.S04E25.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Oh, hey, I bet you can't guess
who I met at Janet's house last night.

- Sam, please.
- What?

This is really getting out of hand.

In the month that you've been dating
the lovely Councilor Eldridge

you've done nothing
but drop names.

You'd think you'd never seen
a celebrity before.

So spare me your stargazing.

Hey, hey, Gary Hart.

- Gary Hart, there he is.
- Oh, hey, senator.

Hi, Sam, you left your coat
in my car last night.

That's sweet of you to bring it by.
Thank you.

Least I could do
for a Trivial Pursuit partner.

By the way, thanks for your help
with those sports questions.

Well, that's my strong point.

Thank you for helping me
with everything else.

- That's my strong point.
- Yeah.

Gary.

What say you park her down here,
and I'll buy you a brewski, eh?

Thanks. I think I'll take a rain check.

Oh, well, in that case
you can buy me one.

Just kidding, you know. Sort of.

- Sam, I better run. Thanks.
- Yeah.

- Good to see you again.
- Thank you. Thanks for dropping by.

Oh, my God, it's Gary Hart.

Did you see Gary Hart?
I saw Gary Hart. Senator Gary Hart.

Could have been President Gary Hart.
Could still be President Gary Hart.

Gary Hart, that's Gary...

I was just showing you
how silly it looks.

Please, don't do it again.

Frasier, it was awfully nice of you
to invite me out for a drink.

Oh, well, it's my pleasure, Jim.

I just couldn't bear
to see you so down in the dumps

after you lost the election.
I thought this might cheer you up.

I'm sure it will.

Woody...

...let me get a Scotch on the rocks.

- Oh, well, make that two.
- Coming right up.

Say,

aren't you that guy

that Janet Eldridge whipped
in the election?

- Woody.
- Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

I guess you just look like him.

Did that Fleener guy
take a shellacking or what?

All right.

Jim, you have to look on
the bright side of this.

Yeah.

Well, for example, what were the
positive things about your campaign?

Well... Well, of course,
there was Diane.

Diane?

She was wonderful.
She was absolutely wonderful.

You know, a man could go far
with a woman like that at his side.

In fact, now that the campaign is over,
I thought I might ask her out.

Well, I think that's wonderfully
open-minded of you,

considering her operation.

What operation was that?

Well, she had a sex-change operation.
Surely you knew.

Sex change?

No, I, I-- Diane?

Hi, Frasier.

- Jim, what are you doing here?
- Diane, Diane,

what a courageous person you are.

- What are you talking about?
- What a wonderful job they did.

I, I-- Of course, now that I know,
I can tell the difference.

Well, I think I'm gonna be going now.

Bye, Diane.

It's great to see old Jimbo again,
isn't it?

Frasier, have you been telling people
I had a sex-change operation again?

No. He guessed.

Why, thank you, gentlemen.

Well, you look nice too,
Miss Eldridge.

Sam, we didn't expect to see you
here today.

Well, Janet wanted me
to change my tie.

Why don't you sit down here.
I think the black one's under the bar.

I just wore this
as a kind of gag anyway.

Good one.

Do you...?
Do you want a white wine?

- I'd love it.
- All right. Woody, would you do that?

- And a club soda for myself.
- Sure, Sam.

- Hello, Sam.
- Oh, hi.

- My, going formal again.
- Yeah.

You've logged a lot of hours
in the tuxedo lately.

Kind of getting used to
the old monkey suit.

You know, I never realized until now
just how appropriate that nickname is.

That's very funny.

My, aren't we a grumpy primate?

She's jealous you're going to a party
at the mayor's house, and she's not.

As a matter of fact,
I have a wonderful evening planned.

My date Gregory and I
are going to the theatre

and then to a late-night supper
and dancing.

Boy, does that bring back memories.

Oh, are you recalling
a similar evening, Woody?

No, I just remembered your date called
and cancelled.

He said that he had to go on duty
at the hospital,

and that he was really very sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry too, sweetheart.

Well, it's okay. Really.

It's not like I went out and spent $312
on a new dress.

Then you'd really feel dumb.

- Evening, everybody.
- Hey, Norm!

What's going down, Mr. Peterson?

My cheeks on this barstool.

What's the problem there, Norm?

Trouble, Cliff ie, with a capital D.

Vera's younger sister, Donna,
is coming to visit.

She insists on prancing
around the house

wearing next to nothing.

She's always exercising in front of me
in skimpy little leotards and stuff.

She'll shower with the door half open,
right in front of me.

I see your problem here.

Sounds like you got a case
of the frustrated female over there.

I know just what to do.
We'll try a little Acu-Clavin on her.

- Let me go get the car.
- Thank you for changing, Sam.

I mean, it did say on the invitation,
black tie.

Leash optional.

Well, Diane.

The election is long over and
you must be tremendously relieved.

- About what?
- Remember, you were so concerned

I was going to abandon Sam
after he'd served my political purposes.

Obviously you were wrong
about Sam and I.

- Wrong about Sam and me.
- That too.

Excuse me. Sam's waiting.

I'd love to belt you.

Welcome to the losers' club, baby.

Now that you've paid your dues,
here's your membership card.

Yeah, we're a pair, aren't we?

A couple of chumps that life
just kicked in the teeth,

and why am I
talking like Broderick Crawford?

Frasier, I know

you think I'm jealous
of Janet and Sam's relationship,

but I'm not.

I just don't want to see him get hurt.

That's really all there is to it.

I think you're kidding yourself, Diane.
We both know the reason

you've been down
in the dumps lately.

But believe me,
there's no need to be.

Sam is not really happy
with that woman.

Just imagine the mental strain
it must be

trying to use
the right fork all the time.

Don't give up hope. I haven't.

You're a lovely man.

I'm sorry I hurt you.

I wish there was some way
I could make you forgive me.

Well, marry me. Bear my children.
Let me die in your arms.

I was thinking more along the lines
of making fudge.

Well, I like your fudge.

- Hey, Diane, I'm leaving.
- Okay.

I'm gonna shut off the light
and lock you in.

- Okay.
- Don't forget to cover the pool table.

- Okay.
- Make sure you pull your arms off

- and stuff them down your throat.
- Okay.

What did...?

I'm sorry, honey. Let me just check
and make sure Woody remembered.

Go ahead.
I know it's had you preoccupied.

You hardly slept a wink
during the mayor's entire speech.

Oh, darn it, Woody.
I knew he'd forget.

He forgot to leave the check
for the beer man.

Or did I forget to tell him?

No, no, no,
he forgot to remind me to tell him.

That's what it was.

Did you have
a good time tonight, Sam?

I had a great time.

- That was nice.
- Yeah, nice in a great sort of way.

By the way, wasn't it funny
running into one of your old girlfriends

- working for the caterer tonight?
- Was that weird?

- Come on, what are the odds on that?
- Pretty good, I'd say.

We run into your girlfriends
all over town.

I'd like to point out that we...

...didn't see one in the limo
on the way home.

What's the longest relationship
you've ever had, Sam?

Oh, let's see. I went out with
one person there for a whole year.

- Mind if I ask who she was?
- No, not at all. Any time.

Oh, right, you're asking now.
Well, all right.

You're not gonna believe this.

Nobody did.
I mean, I even have trouble believing it.

It was Diane.

Unbelievable, huh?

No, actually it explains
quite a few things.

Well, that's... That's Diane for you.
Unbelievable and explaining things.

But anyway, that's all over now.

Since things are over
between you and Diane,

I wonder why she continues
to work here.

Why, she's gotta work someplace.

Does she owe you money
she's trying to work off?

No. No.

Would you lose customers
if she leaves?

No. As a matter of fact,
I'd probably get a few back

if I did let her go.

Sam, nobody said anything
about letting her go,

but, as a matter of fact,
you might be doing her a favor.

Unless, of course,
there are still feelings

left between you two
that I should know about.

Don't be silly. Of course not.

I'm glad to hear that.

You know how much I care for you.

What are we doing here?
Let's go home.

Listen, don't worry about that.

Diane is probably staying here

because she thinks
that I can't do without her.

- Sam?
- Yeah?

Do you really think
that talented, bright, lovely woman

belongs in a bar serving drinks?

I guess not.
I mean, no, of course not.

Maybe she just needs a friendly shove
out of the nest.

I hadn't thought about that before,
in that way.

The sooner you do it,

the sooner she'll be out
of this dead-end job

and on to something
a lot more meaningful in her life.

- Yeah, I guess so.
- Oh, Sam, what am I doing?

I'm not being honest.

The truth is...

...I'm just not comfortable
with Diane working here.

I mean, you've had a past with her.
And I'm as insecure as anybody.

Are you saying that you think
I should fire her?

Sam, it's not my business.

And I'm not trying to interfere.
But if I were you,

I'd do it right away.

Tomorrow.

- Tomorrow?
- Yes. Why not?

Yeah, why not?

I mean, tomorrow is as good
as any time, I guess.

Hey, Carla?
Carla, is Diane here yet?

No, Diane is not here yet.

That is the third time
you've asked me that.

Why would you, or anyone
for that matter, want to see her?

Well... Just curious. No reason.

Well, when she gets here,
I'll make an announcement, okay?

What's your problem?

Carla...

...has it ever occurred to you
that Diane doesn't really belong here?

You mean this bar or this planet?

Either way, it's yes.

Sometimes I think this place
just isn't good enough

for somebody like her, you know?

I mean, she's a cocktail waitress.
That's a dead-end job.

There's no future, no reward.

She, she's-- She's a junior
cocktail waitress.

You are a senior cocktail waitress.
There's a big difference.

Listen, Sam,
I know what this is all about.

You're not really that serious
about this Eldridge babe, are you?

To tell you the truth,
I don't know how serious I am.

But I do know that I'm having
the best time of my life.

And as you know,
my life has been wall-to-wall fun.

She's smart,
but at the same time

she doesn't make me feel not smart.

I feel important when I'm around her.
I like that.

- Oh, puke.
- What?

Will you cut it out?

I mean, that is the sappiest junk
I've ever heard.

Look, you've proven your point.

You can go out
with classy dames like her.

You can go out with anybody.

Now, you've had your fun.

I want you to just quit fooling around,
march right out there,

and find yourself
an airhead with big casabas.

What the heck
has gotten into you, Carla?

Look, Sammy, it's just not right.
You are not a one-woman guy.

I mean, it's like the time
of your great sickness.

- When I went out with Diane.
- That's right.

You're starting to get me worried.

No, no, no, you're nuts.
You're nuts, Carla.

When Diane gets here,
say something.

- Afternoon, everybody.
- Norm!

Hey, Mr. Peterson.
Can I pour you a beer?

Well, okay, Woody,
but be sure to stop me at one.

Make that 1:30.

So, Normie,
did Vera's sister, Donna, show?

Yeah, she showed all right, Cliff.
She showed plenty.

Well, don't tell me she's still
prancing around in her Skivvies, eh.

All right, listen to this.

I have to go to the room
to get something, right? So I knock.

Once, twice, no answer.

So in I go, right?

There she is, sitting on the bed,
doing her nails, buck-naked.

Buck?

Totally buck.

She tried to cover herself up,
but believe me,

an emery board doesn't hide much.

My nerves are just frazzled.
I don't know what I should do, Cliff ie.

Well, I've got you covered here,
Normie. You need to relax.

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Relax.

- Right.
- Yeah, see, why don't you and I

go over to your house
and watch some tube, eh?

Cheers. Oh, just a minute.

It's for you, Mr. Peterson.

Oh, hey, Miss Chambers.

Hello, Woody.

- Where's Sam?
- He's in his office.

He's dying to see you.

Do you have an envelope
behind the bar, Woody?

Oh, Normie, you're as white
as a sheet. What's cooking?

Oh, that was Vera.
Her aunt's taken sick.

She has to go to Springfield
for a few days.

That leaves me at home alone
with Donna.

Just you and the siren.

Hey, Mr. Peterson,
maybe you can use that siren thing

to scare off your sister-in-law.

- Hi, Diane.
- Hello, Frasier.

Oh, say, what--?
What's the matter with you?

Sam thinks he's going to fire me.

But I have a little surprise for him.

- I'm resigning.
- You're leaving Cheers?

- That's right.
- Well, great.

You can work for me.
I need a new receptionist.

Frasier, you have
a wonderful receptionist.

Mrs. McGrady has worked for you
and your family for 20 years.

Well, yes, but I caught her in a typo
the other day, so she's history.

- Thank you, Frasier. I don't think so.
- Okay.

But one word from you
and that blue-haired head rolls.

Is she here yet? Oh, good, good.

You're just the person I wanna see.

Sweetheart, you are far too bright,
talented and lovely to waste your--

Before you go any further, read this.

All right.

Well, does this--?
Does this mean you're quitting?

Isn't that what it clearly states
on page five?

But why?
I mean, I don't understand why.

My reasons are enumerated here
above the graph.

Oh. Oh, well, this--
This is great.

I mean, it's not great. It's awful.

But I mean it's, well, it's great for you.
Don't you think?

I mean, it's probably
best for everybody in the long run.

Personally, I feel awful about this.

I know what you were going to do.

You were going to fire me.

What makes you say that?

Let's just say a woman knows.

You were going to fire me.

And what have I done?
I've made it easier for you.

People have always made
things easier for you.

Well, I'm not going to let you
off the hook.

I withdraw my resignation.

Fire me, if you can.

But I don't think you have the guts.

After all we've gone through,
the good times and the bad,

I say you don't have the courage
to fire me to my face.

- You're fired.
- Too late. I resign.

No, you can't do that.

No, you took back your resignation
and you dared me to fire you.

No, you can't do that.
You're fired. I did it.

The last time we had
an official parting of the ways

there was some question
as to who left whom.

That is why this time I've gone to
the trouble of tendering my resignation

in the written form.

Legal precedent states
that the written document

always supersedes
the spoken word,

especially when it's spoken
by a goof.

Oh, fine. Fine. Who cares?
See you in the funny papers.

Oh, that's perfect.

The funny papers.

Don't say another word.

Let that be the last utterance
I remember.

And now I'm off to begin a new life.

- I shall forget you in a trice.
- Oh, a trice?

Please, let that be the last word
I hear from you.

You troglodyte.

That's even better!

Attention, everyone.
May I have your attention, please?

I have resigned.

I know this comes as a shock,
but I've decided that I...

...no longer fit into
the scheme of things around here.

I go willingly with a gladful heart,

for it has been my pleasure
to serve you,

and my privilege to know you,
lo, these many years.

I shall miss you all.

But weep no tears
for Diane Chambers.

She's tougher than you think.

She's going to be okay.
You bet she is.

So this is goodbye.

For there's one thing I know,
you will never, ever see me again.

Farewell.

Hey, look, everyone. It's Diane.