All language subtitles for Cheers.S04E22.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Hey, Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.

Hey, man, where's this
relief waitress you hired?

Oh, don't worry, Sam,

she's a great waitress,
a complete professional.

Well, how come she's not here?

Well, she called and said
she'd be about 20 minutes late.

She wants to get in
all her breaks before she starts.

Oh, there she is.
Hey, Corinne, over here.

When you asked them
for a waitress,

did you tell them this was a bar,
not a truck stop?

Hi, honey. Is this it?

Yep, Corinne, this is my boss,
Sam Malone.

Hi, honey. Just give me
some checks and we're all set.

Okay, Woody, why don't you
show her where they are?

It's right down here.

Would you look
at the size of this place?

My dogs'll be barking tonight.

Pardon me, am I mistaken, or did you
used to work at the Hungry Heifer?

- Sure, I worked there.
- Yeah?

Say, I know you. The girls there
had a pet name for you.

- What was that?
- That guy who comes back.

Hey, listen, thanks for helping out.

From now on
let me pick the waitresses.

My customers are used to something
with a little more sex appeal.

Sam. Where'd you get the fox?

- Afternoon, everybody.
- Norm!

- How's life in the fast lane, Normie?
- Beats me. I can't find the on-ramp.

Hey, hey, your brow is
a little furrowed there, my friend.

What's the boney, Maroney?

Well, Vera's getting the urge
to go on vacation again.

Don't worry. It'll pass.
Happens every year.

I think she's serious this time.
Maps have been unfolded.

- Where does she wanna go?
- The tropics.

Says she wants to lay in the sand
and bake in the sun.

I offered a compromise.

I said, just turn up the radiator
and stick your feet in the cat box.

- And she didn't go for that?
- No, no. It's my own damn fault.

You know,
I think I've spoiled that woman.

Mr. Peterson, if you want
the vacation of a lifetime,

without spending a fortune,
I have one word for you.

- Yeah?
- Hanover, Indiana.

All right. Well, what would I do for
excitement in, say, Hanover, Indiana?

Well, if you leave right away,
you can catch the Corn Parade.

Now, that's kind of like
the Rose Parade.

But instead of using flowers
for the floats--

- They use corn.
- You've heard of it.

Well, hold on a second.

- Carla, it's for you.
- Who is it?

I don't know.
It's one of your daughters.

- Which one?
- I couldn't tell.

- It sounded like, "Humanity."
- Oh, it's Anne Marie.

She's wearing a retainer on her teeth,
and she's feeling a little insecure.

Anne Marie?

No, I didn't know it was you
from your ugly voice.

Hon, no. Anne Marie,
people are not gonna make fun of you

every time you open your mouth.

Honey, your family are not people.

Yeah, right, goodbye.

Poor kid.

I remember when I was
at that awkward age.

Any little difference between me
and the other children

and I was embarrassed and humiliated
in front of what felt like the world.

- Hi, Diane.
- And on it goes.

You left your sweater
at my apartment.

Oh, thank you, Dennis.

And thanks for bringing it by
in this all-too-brief visit.

- Why are you dressed like that?
- I'm working the Renaissance Faire.

Don't they have
dressing rooms there?

I thought you'd get a kick out of it.
You said it was your favorite era.

Dennis, there's a time and place
for everything.

And the time for this
was the 14th century.

I'm sorry.

So are we still on for Saturday night?

Next Saturday would be impossible.

You don't wanna
go out with me again, do you?

I didn't say that, Dennis.
You're putting words in my mouth.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.

No, no, they're the right words.

I'll give you a call, Dennis.

All right. I know what's coming.
Let's get on with it.

- What? What are you talking about?
- You know. Dennis.

He didn't, well...

- He didn't look very ordinary.
- Oh, nonsense.

I thought he looked great.

Especially if he was gonna
spend the day in Sherwood Forest.

You're not being very fair.
Dennis is a really special guy.

Yeah, and I sensed that, Diane.
I said to myself--

As soon as he walked in, I said,
now there's a sissy with a dream.

Dennis Kaufman
is a brilliant puppeteer.

He does a wonderful
Punch and Judy.

He'd better have a wonderful punch
if he's gonna dress like Judy.

Oh, you really pick them, Diane.

Next to him,
even Frasier looks like Rambo.

Look what I've stooped to.
Dennis is a fine human being,

and I hustled him out of here
like he had the plague.

All in an effort
to avoid your childish gibes.

How will I ever make it up to him?

Well, you could always
offer to set his hair.

Fine, fine. Thank you all.

Oh, come on. You're overreacting.

We were simply indulging in a couple
of yuks. Were we not, guys?

Well, I can understand
why you act like this,

and Sam stooping to such
puerile behavior.

You're jealous. But I don't know
why everyone else jumps in.

Now, Woody here was the
only one of you mature enough

to refrain from jumping on
your mudslinging bandwagon.

Well, why should I, Miss Chambers?
I liked Denise.

- No, that's Dennis.
- I know.

Hey, Normie?

You feel like doing something
adventurous tonight?

I'm already doing that, Cliff ie.

Vera's trying on a new
facial mask this evening,

and I kind of wanna rush home
and watch it crack.

- All right.
- Why? What did you have in mind?

Well, I heard from one of the guys
down in the junk-mail room

that there's a new act down at
the old Wham Bam Room.

Oh, hot dog.

Presenting the finest
in nudie entertainment.

Come on, Fras, what do you say?
Let's go.

Oh, you're inviting me along
to this evening of devilment?

- You got a credit card, don't you?
- There you go.

You know, I'm not so sure if it really
fits in with my image, you know?

A desperately lonely character
on the make?

- Well, I guess I'm in.
- All right.

Oh, sure.
Just when I'm about to have fun.

- That's Mrs. Benedict.
- How did you know that?

Because she's the person
I'd least like to hear from.

Even her beep is whiny.
Excuse me, just two seconds.

Guys, Carla, get your coats.
You're coming over to my place.

Tonight, on the tube,
The Magnificent Seven.

Cliff ie, the Wham Bam Room
will always be there,

but only tonight will the Seven ride.

Say no more.
Bronson, McQueen, Coburn.

- Don't think I ever saw that one.
- You're kidding.

Then tonight you become a man.

- Well, I'm off.
- Hey, change of plans, Frasier.

The Magnificent Seven,
Sammy's TV, tonight.

The Seven? Great.
I never miss a Horst Buchholz film.

Listen, I-- Tell you what.
I'll catch up to you

just as soon as I talk Mrs. Benedict
out of her hamper.

You guys do this a lot?

Well, yeah, every time
one of the classics is on TV,

we all head over to Sammy's,
make some popcorn,

and glue our eyeballs to the set.

You know, I'm not ordinarily a fan
of American Westerns,

but because The Magnificent Seven
is a remake of the far superior

and more complex Japanese film,
The Seven Samurai,

a comparison will be interesting.

We'll be sure to do that. Now you don't
mind locking up, do you, sweetheart?

Oh, of course not.

We didn't hear anything.

No, no, I'm gonna check this out.

I'm sorry. You wanna come
with us, sweetheart?

No. I don't wanna ruin your fun.

When I first walked into this place,
I felt like an alien,

and four years later,
I still feel like an alien.

Well, if the antenna fits.

Diane, wait a second.

- I just wanna go home, Sam.
- Well, maybe if you...

I don't know, guys.

I don't feel good
about the movie tonight.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Cheers.

Oh, hi, Diane. Why aren't you here?
Are you sick or something?

Oh, well, you sound all stuffed up.

Well, I hope you feel better.
Bye-bye.

- What's the matter with her?
- She said she's got this allergy

where you weep uncontrollably.

What do you think, guys?
Do you think we hurt her feelings

a little bit too much last night?

Hey, maybe we ought to
do something to make it up to her.

- Like send her a bouquet of flowers.
- Oh, cliché city, huh?

You know, whenever I break the heart
of a member of the gentler sex,

I always send her a nice
box of dried figs.

Figs won't do it.

Let me see if I can explain this.

Diane has always tried
to take part in your activities.

Why don't you return the favor
by joining her

in something she finds entertaining?

Oh, boy. All right,

what egghead torture
do we have to endure now?

Well, how about the opera?

- Oh, man, come on.
- Oh, gross.

It's not like we threw her
down a flight of stairs. Come on.

Tell you what. Leave it to me.

I'll make all the arrangements,
right down to her favorite flowers.

All you guys have to do
is just show up.

All right, what do you say, guys?
I mean, it's the least we could do.

- Well?
- All right, all right, all right.

Do me a favor, just pick an opera
where it doesn't sound like

somebody backing over a cat.

Please.

We do happen to be in luck.

You see, they're playing
Diane's favorite tomorrow night.

Lucia di Lammermoor
by Donizetti.

Yeah? Well, count me out.

You know, every time we had
a family gathering,

they always tried to get me
interested in opera.

I just couldn't stand it.

It's just a bunch
of fat, homely people screeching

and trying to stab each other.

Well, Carla, you know,
not all operas are like that.

I was talking about
the family gathering.

Check it out, boys. Better than
the sky view seats at Fenway.

Look at these chairs.
They're not even bolted down.

Oh, hey, that's class for you.

Boy, you gotta really hand it
to Frasier, don't you?

He really knows what melts
Diane's butter. Look at this.

All right, all right,
now if we stick together tonight,

I think we won't have
any casualties.

Hey, hey, just as long as you
remember your job there, Woody.

Anybody starts falling asleep,
give them a nudge.

Hey, don't worry, Mr. Clavin.
There's no way I'm gonna fall asleep.

I had a four-hour nap this afternoon,
drank 12 cups of coffee,

and I'm wearing extra-tight shoes.

- So where's Diane?
- Oh, she's powdering her nose.

She started to cry again.
I mean, what a woman, huh?

Do you believe that?
She started to cry when we told her

we're gonna take her to the opera, she
cried when she saw us in our tuxes.

And she cried
when she saw the limo.

She's got it under control, though.
She said she won't do it anymore.

No, thank you. I'll seat myself.

Oh, this is the best box.

- Now, you promised--
- I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

Madame, your seat.

No, no. Come on, yeah, that's good.

Gentlemen.

What a glorious night.

Somebody pinch me.
That's just an expression, Cliff.

On second thought, don't pinch me.
If this is a dream,

I do not want to awaken.

Listen, I know that you're all
novices to the opera,

so I'd like to give you
a little background.

Tonight's performance is in Italian.

I'm sure that you will find it
both enlightening and entertaining.

Oh, by the way,
does anyone need opera glasses?

Oh, no, no. I brought
a pair of my own there, Diane.

Cliff ie, think those are
powerful enough, pal?

You better believe it, Norm. Get a load
of the warheads on that cellist.

No, hey, hey, hey.
Don't, don't, don't.

So...

...this charming piece
is in three acts.

It begins with Edgardo leaving for France

to renew his vow of love for Lucia.

Though both houses
have maintained a feud for years.

Enrico, Lucia's brother,
arranges a marriage

between his friend Arturo and Lucia

by tricking her into believing
that Edgardo has been untrue.

But let's watch.

The maestro.

Wasn't that lovely?

Good night. Good night.

So how'd it go?

Well, I had a problem
with one of the customers.

- Oh, yeah, what?
- He refused to keep his hands on me.

- Go home. I'll finish up here.
- Thanks.

Yeah.

Diane, you probably noticed
I wasn't there tonight.

Oh, yes. Thank you, Carla.

- It was a really sweet gesture.
- You're welcome.

- May I offer you a cognac?
- Yes, that would be lovely.

Thank you again, Sam,
for your thoughtfulness.

It may not seem like much to you,
but it really meant a lot to me.

No, no, it seemed like
quite a bit to us too.

This evening was so special,
so wonderful to me.

And it was all your doing.

Well, there were
some other people involved.

Oh, no, you're their leader.
They do nothing without you.

- Well...
- But so gallant.

Well, thank you.
I can't help helping, I guess.

Every detail was so well-thought-out,
right down to your choice of opera.

Oh, well, I knew that
Lucy... was your favorite.

It was perfect.
You hit all the right chords.

Well, I think I know you
pretty well by now.

Sam, I confess,
I underestimated you.

I had no idea you thought so much
about me in ways other than sexual.

Unfortunately, I can't possibly
do that at the moment.

Oh, Sam.

You moved me very deeply tonight.

Well, it moves me deeply
to move you deeply.

Speaking of depths,
would I be sinking to one

if I were to suggest that we carry
this conversation back to my place?

- Sam, my God.
- Oh, dear, what?

I wasn't expecting this.

I'm experiencing emotions
I haven't felt for so long.

My heart's saying yes,
my mind's saying no.

Well, why don't you let some other
part of your body break the tie for you?

I think I'd better go.

My purse.

Oh, boy.

Oh, Sam, I can't fight it.

Everything tonight has been
leading me right into your arms.

Let me get this clear here.
You're saying that we--

We always get into
so much trouble when we talk.

Let's not. Let's just do.

From now on, no words.

I can't believe this.
This is like a dream I had once.

- This was good back here.
- Yeah, it was.

This is becoming
the most perfect evening

we've ever had together.

Oh, boy.

Sam?

- What is it?
- Oh, I--

I can't believe I'm about to say this.

I gotta be honest with you.

Frasier planned the whole evening.
I had nothing to do with it.

What do you think about that?

Now...

You're saying this to me now

is one of the most wonderful things
you have ever done.

Oh, boy.

I'm even more attracted to you now
than before.

Oh, that's great.
Oh, that's great. Let's go.

- Sam, wait.
- No, no, don't say wait. Don't say wait.

- We can't possibly have sex tonight.
- Sure we can. Sure we can.

No, don't you realize what you did?
You insisted on being honest to me.

Respecting me as a person.

Even though it meant risking
the loss of a night of passion.

Yeah, well, that kind of stuff
should be rewarded, you know?

Sam, you know,
for a change, tonight

you had the cooler head,
and you were right to stop me.

We are developing
a very special relationship,

and it would be wrong
to jeopardize it by having sex.

No. I want to jeopardize it with sex.

- It would be a test.
- Sam. Sam, we're regressing.

You're backsliding.
We're not ready yet.

Well, do you have an estimate
on when we might be ready?

I mean, is it minutes here?
Come on.

Sam, this was
a real breakthrough for us.

I think it's very important
for each of us to be alone.

No, I agree. As soon as we're done,
I'll leave. I promise.

- Good night, Sam.
- No, no, wait. Here.

Oh, no. No.