All language subtitles for Cheers.S04E18.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.

Mrs Tortelli?

Oh, you must be Vito Ragonzoni.

That's right.

The young man who wants
to take out my little Anne Marie.

- Yes, ma'am.
- Soda, Sam.

Thanks for coming by, Vito.

Anne Marie told me that you wanted
to take her to the movies,

and I just wanted to meet you, get to
know you a little better, you know.

Okay.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

Well...

You certainly are a fine-looking
young gentleman.

- No doubt about that.
- Thank you, ma'am.

So, what movie you taking
Anne Marie to see?

101 Dalmatians.

- Oh, that's a Walt Disney, isn't it?
- Yes, it is.

Oh, one of my favorites, as I recall.

It is not only entertaining--

Turn to the left, please.

--It has a nice message.
Now to the right.

Thank you.

Ms Tortelli, I'm getting the feeling
that you don't trust me too much.

Oh, gee, Vito, I'm sorry. I guess
I'm being a little overprotective.

You know, it's my little baby's
first date.

But now that I see you, I see you're
a fine upstanding gentleman,

so here, tell you what. Go on,
get out of here.

Have some popcorn on me.
Have a good time.

Thanks, Mrs Tortelli.

Sam...

...keep it in a safe place till the boys
from the lab get here.

A hearty Heigh-ho, everyone.

Hey, Frasier.

- What's with the bird there?
- Oh, do you like it?

I was doing some spring-cleaning
the other day,

and I came across old Plato here.
He was my father's pet.

Couldn't bear to part with him, not
even in death, so he had him stuffed.

He's really got a lot of
sentimental value for me.

He's an excellent example
of taxidermy.

Quite valuable, I'm sure.
And I'd like you to have him.

Frasier, I don't think so.

- Well, then toss it.
- All right.

Oh, and, Diane,

I came across these slides
of our trip to Europe.

I didn't want to throw them away
and didn't want them.

I thought perhaps you'd like them.

Oh, that's very thoughtful, Frasier.
I'd love to look at them.

Well, hey, I got a projector
and a screen in the backroom there.

You said that projector was broken

when I wanted to show my slides
of Colombian art.

Well, yes, it is broken when you wanna
show your slides of Colombian art.

I don't see any reason why we should
show these slides here.

Well, why not? I think those slides
might benefit everyone.

It's a chance to see Europe's
cultural and artistic highlights

with an informed commentary
by people who've been there.

Anyone who wants to see slides
of Diane's and my trip to Europe,

raise your hands.

You could make disgusting noises
and shadow animals.

Fine. I'll go set it up.

- Say, Cliff.
- Yeah?

Slides of the European trip, poolroom,
five minutes. Be there.

Hey. Hey, yeah, great.
Wouldn't miss it.

There's a major yawn.

- Afternoon, everybody.
- Norm!

- Norman.
- Hey, what's happening, Norm?

You know, it's a dog-eat-dog world,
Sammy,

and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear.

Yeah.

Vera has been phoning
every 15 minutes here.

So, what's this for?

Well, I told her you'd call
the second you got in.

- Well, you lied.
- All right.

Norman, maybe it's an emergency.

No, I know why she's calling.

You know the account-manager job
I'm up for?

Well, it's between me
and this one other guy,

and today's the day they're
making their decision.

Pins and needles time, huh?

Yeah. Vera's really a mess,
you know.

Except she's always had kind of a low
threshold for excitement, you know.

Yeah. You wouldn't believe
the tizzy she went into

the day she cracked open
a double-yolked egg.

I made the mistake of telling Vera
that if I get the promotion,

we could buy a new house.
You know, so...

It's always been a dream of hers
to have house with a bathroom so big,

if you fall down,
you won't hit your head on anything.

Well, now, that's smart. That's smart.

Because, little-known fact,
42 percent of all deaths in America

are caused by accidents
in the home.

So were you.

Anyway, these guys, they're really
giving us the full treatment.

- What?
- Yesterday, the executive wives

invited Vera to a luncheon
at a fancy French restaurant.

- Hey, hey.
- Experience really changed her.

She now refers to the Velveeta
as fromage, thank you.

Well, you must be getting pretty
excited about this yourself.

- Yeah.
- Not really.

- Come on, man. Come on. Come on.
- All right, all right, I'm psyched.

All right.

Norman.

If diligence, dedication and
the old-fashioned puritan work ethic

have anything to do with it, I'm sure...

Good luck, Norman.

Well, it's time I stopped avoiding
the success

that's been nipping at my heels
all these years.

- My whole life stands before me.
- Right.

I'm poised here on the brink
of destiny, guys.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Look out, world, get off my runway.

Ho! Look out!

Hey, is everybody ready
for the slide show?

Yeah, what the hell.
I got nothing better to do.

All right, everybody. Filter on in here.
There's plenty of seats for everybody.

Yup, come along, now. Come along.

Now, if everybody's passports
are in order,

we begin our sojourn
in merry old England.

Yes. Here's Diane
at the Tower of London.

Where's the tower?

It's right there.
She's standing in front of it.

Yeah.

And here she is at
the changing of the guard.

- Where are the guards?
- Well, if you look very closely,

you can see them in the reflection
of her sunglasses.

Which hide her eyes.
Which hide her emotions.

And here she is in front of Big Ben.

That wall looks just like
the other wall.

But imagine that at the top of this wall
there's a clock.

Do you actually ever take pictures
of things where you could

see the things themselves?

- Well, I'm sure I must have.
- Well...

Scenery at last.

Now, this is Diane boating
on the Seine.

- Oh, yeah.
- You know,

I think that was my last carefree day
on the Continent.

But I digress.

Yeah. Here she is pretending to enjoy
herself in front of Notre Dame.

I was enjoying myself.

Of course you were.
I didn't mean to imply anything else.

And on to sunny Italy.

Boy, she doesn't look happy there,
does she?

- No.
- How could she?

She was much too preoccupied
with thoughts of desertion.

- Frasier.
- I'm sorry. ignore that.

Ah, yes, beautiful Florence.

She looks just like Miss Chambers.

It is Diane, Woody.

I think this is the night
I proposed to her.

Yes. You see, she's laughing at me.

I am not laughing at you.
I'm smiling for the camera.

Of course you were.
You're about to rip out my heart.

Yes. Yes, here she is plotting her
betrayal in front of the Ponte Vecchio.

How appropriate,
in the country of Lucrezia Borgia.

- Frasier, you're incorrigible.
- Oh, Diane, wait.

No, wait. Hey, let her--

Well, that was a thrill a minute,
huh, Norm?

I'd say your Florida slides
were better than that, Cliff ie.

Oh, I got them in the trunk of my car.

It's a good place for them.

I'm sorry. I am so sorry.
I thought I was getting better.

Frasier, sit down.

You keep saying you're getting better,

but I haven't seen any evidence of it.

Now, hard as it may be, you've got to
stop being preoccupied with me.

- Get a hold of yourself.
- Enough said.

You don't have to hit Frasier Crane
over the head.

Unless, of course, you'd like to.
Where is your sense of humor?

Frasier, here.

Listen, been a long time since
I went out and raised a little hell.

What do you say you and I go out
and get crazy?

You know, a couple of guys giving
the women of Boston their best shot?

- Well, this is a pity offer, isn't it?
- Basically.

Okay.

Might be just what the doctor ordered.
Rattle my cage a little.

All right, that's the ticket. Listen,
I got a few things to do for a while,

so why don't you just sit down here
and be a good little boy,

and Sammy Claus will take you out
later and get your tree trimmed.

- Hey, Norm.
- Jeff. What are you doing here?

I just wanna have a beer
with the new accounts manager.

- Did I get the job?
- I haven't heard anything definite,

but if I had an extra dollar to wager,
I'd bet it on Norm Peterson.

Since I don't,
could you buy me a beer?

All right. Woody, two beers.

- Come on. Have a seat.
- Great, great.

I just wanted to come down
and wish you good luck.

There's a lot of scuttlebutt
around the water cooler

that you and Morrison
are neck and neck.

But there's a lot of us down in
the trenches who are pulling for you.

Thanks. That means a lot
coming from your peers.

I just hope when you're up
in the executive suite

and I'm down in steerage
we can still be friends.

Of course. Were we before?

"Were we before?"
Oh, God, that's great.

Oh, I tell you, it's gonna be so great

to have somebody up there with
a sense of humor. That's terrific.

And by the way, that was a brilliant job
you did on the Stallings audit.

I mean, who else would've figured out
how to write off Mrs Stallings'

- breast reduction as a depreciation?
- Yeah.

You know, I hear that Stallings will be
eligible for parole in our lifetime.

Does anyone have more fun
than bookkeepers?

Oh, face it, Norm,
you deserve to win.

You're more experienced,
you're a nicer guy,

and you got some professional ethics,
unlike Morrison.

What are you talking about?

Are you kidding?

You don't know about Morrison
and the boss's wife?

They've been making it every
Tuesday night for the past five months.

- Jeffrey, I can't believe that.
- No, I'm serious.

Once a week?

Well, I guess if you're young,
you can handle that kind of schedule.

I better shove off.

- Mrs Reinhardt?
- Mrs Reinhardt.

- Hey, Norm?
- Yeah.

Would you promise me one thing?
When you get the promotion

and it's time to hire an assistant,
you'll remember my name?

- Sure. Yeah. What's that last name?
- You big lug, you.

That's Warren, with two R's.
W-A-R-R-E-N.

Well... Woody,
a little champagne, please.

Sammy, some cigars for all my friends.
On the new accounts manager.

No kidding, Norm? You got the job?

No, not yet, but just learned a little bit
of information about my competition

that ought to clinch it
when I accidentally let it slip.

All right, Norm.

- Hey, Norm?
- Yeah.

Norm, I might have spoken out of turn
about Morrison and Mrs Reinhardt.

You wouldn't let it go any further,
would you?

Jeffrey, I'm insulted, man.

So as I was about to say,
Jeff here lets it slip

that my competition's making
the sheets sing with the boss's wife.

Oh, yeah, that's pretty hot
information there, isn't it?

You're gonna rat on him?

No, I'm gonna sing "Moon River"
outside their motel room.

I know you want this job pretty bad.
You think that's the way to go about it?

I have to agree, Norman.
This just isn't you talking.

You're not the ruthless, cutthroat,
aggressive type.

I don't know where you guys
got the idea that I'm just some

passive, easygoing lump.

Norm, if your buns didn't fall asleep,
you'd never get off the bar stool.

They're wide awake now, guys,
and I want this promotion.

I want it for Vera. She deserves it.

Norman, think for a moment
what you're about to do.

This could even backfire on you.

You don't even know
if this terrible rumor is true.

Well, I have a pretty good idea
it might be.

Mrs Reinhardt came on to me
at the Christmas party.

What did she say?

"Move it. You're standing
in front of the cheese dip."

But she said it with bedroom eyes.

I'm telling you, this is a mistake.

You guys all think that this is a bad idea
for me to use this information?

Of course we do.

Not everybody.

You know, Norm,
this Morrison is an adulterer

and shouldn't be allowed
to prosper by it.

Now, if we let this type of un-American
activity go unchecked,

before you know it,
our leaders will be in chains,

our women will be learning
how to shot put,

and all we vital American males
will be force-fed borscht

along with generous helpings
of Das Kapital.

That's not those fish eggs, is it?

No, but it smells as bad.

Well, then you tell them
Woody Boyd says nyet.

Attaboy, Woody.

Norman, a snitch is the lowest thing
on this earth.

You know it. Little kids know it.
Old ladies know it.

Dirty, rotten-toothed prisoners
in dark, wet cells know it.

Norman, if you tell on this guy,
and your friends find out about it,

- they are gonna hate your guts.
- How are they gonna know?

I'll squeal like a stuck pig.

Norm, come on. You can't do this.

All right. You're right, you're right.

Guys don't tell on other guys.

It's just not right. I can't do it.

Hey, Frasier, I'm ready if you are.

Oh, wonderful.
Let's begin our evening of revelry.

All right. Now, listen.
I wanna get one thing straight.

Tonight, I don't wanna hear one word
about Diane Chambers. Okay?

We're gonna get out there and get
your mind on more pleasant things.

Agreed. Where are we going?

Well, I think the first thing we need
is some female companionship.

I know a couple of the hot spots,

so why don't we just
mosey along here.

Let me tell you how
this evening's gonna go here.

Now, we're gonna probably walk
into some really nice little spot there.

You're gonna see a beautiful woman
across the room.

I mean hot, sexy.

A woman you dream about.

All right, now, her friend is for you.

Got it?

Good Lord. That's my boss,
Mr Reinhardt.

That's the poor sap, huh?

Cliff ie, quick, breath test.
What do you smell when I do this?

Milwaukee.

Mr Reinhardt.
Hi, sir, how are you do--?

Coincidence that you caught me in
here. I was just using the washroom.

- What do you say we...?
- At ease, Peterson.

We know you spend a lot of time here.
This is where we send your checks.

That's very good.
That's good, sir. That's good.

Well, have a seat.
So to what do I owe this pleasure?

Well, I wanted to come
and tell you in person.

It's not the easiest thing
I've ever had to say,

but you didn't get the job.

I appreciate your coming here
to tell me that, sir.

It was a tossup between you
and Morrison right up to the end.

I have to tell you, in virtually every way,
you match up perfectly.

You both exemplify the high standards
we expect from our employees.

In fact, we can't find a black mark
against either one of you.

Your behavior and Morrison's,
in and out of the office, is impeccable.

If there were--
if there were just one thing,

one tiny thing to tip the scale
in your favor,

I'd go to bat for you.

Sir, I think I ought
to tell you something.

This is terribly personal,
and it could really be painful for you.

Probably gonna change your life
in every way, but...

...before I get into it,

would you like a cheese doodle?

I have a craving for... Could I have
some cheese doodles, please?

- No, Norman.
- Yeah, yes, Norm. Yes, yes.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Yes, yes, do it, do it. Yes, yes, yes.

Who are those people, Peterson,

and why doesn't one of them
want you to have a cheese doodle?

She's actually-- She's trying to help me
watch my dairy intake, sir.

Well, what was the terribly personal
thing you were gonna tell me

- that's gonna change my life?
- Oh, that.

It was-- That was nothing. You had
something in between your teeth.

Do you have a--? No, no, no. It's--
I guess, you know, it's gone now.

That combination of syllables
in your last sentence

- must have just kicked it right out, sir.
- I see.

- Well, I'd best be going.
- Sir.

There's something you're
not telling me here.

I mean, why didn't I get this job?

Oh, I suppose I owe you
the truth, Peterson.

Well, yeah, you do.

It's your wife.

What does my wife
have to do with this?

Well, she didn't fit in with
the other company wives.

That's-- Vera's a wonderful woman.
What are you talking--?

Well, yes, I'm sure
in her own circle she is,

but that lunch the other wives took
her to yesterday was sort of a test.

A spouse has to be able to mix easily
with other people in the company.

That's just great. Well, that's great.
Sir, tell you what.

If my wife isn't good enough
for this company, neither am I.

Oh, I'm sorry you feel that way,
Peterson. But I understand.

And I admire you
for your loyalty to her.

Now, wait a minute. Morrison's wife is
somehow more acceptable than mine?

No. As a matter of fact,
Morrison's never had a wife.

Oh, yeah, well, I wouldn't be too sure
about that one, sir.

- Good luck.
- All right, fine.

I'm so sorry, Norman.

Thanks. That was the easy part.

Now I have to break the news
to Vera.

What are you gonna tell her?

The truth, I guess.

When she went to lunch with the
other wives, she didn't pass muster.

Well, maybe she couldn't reach it.

Hi, Vera.

Listen, honey, no point
beating around the bush here.

I didn't get the promotion.

In fact, I just got so mad at the guy,
I just went ahead and quit.

Yeah. Yes. Yes, they did,
they gave me a reason, hon.

They said...

...that...

...well, what they said was, I'm just not
the right man for the job, you know.

You just face it, honey, I'm a loser.

I don't know why you just don't go just
pack up your bags and leave me.

Hello?

That's very funny. That's cute.

Listen, sweetie.
There's something I have to tell you.

Even on a terrible day like today,

I feel like I'm the luckiest man
in the world, because I married you.

I don't know.
I've had two, three, maybe.

I'll talk to you later. Yeah.

- Norman?
- Yeah.

That's one of the finest things
I have ever seen a man do.

Yes.

How great, I'm unemployed.

Don't worry, Mr Peterson.
Something else will come along.

No, no, I mean, great, I'm unemployed.
Give me a beer here.