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1
00:00:01,877 --> 00:00:05,214
Grab your coat
And get your hat
2
00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:07,716
Leave your worries
3
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:09,384
On the doorstep
4
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:12,346
Just direct your feet
5
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,889
To the sunny side
6
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,265
Of the street
7
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:16,850
Vodka martini
and a seltzer, please.
8
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:17,935
You got it.
9
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:22,564
Leave your worries
On the doorstep
10
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,650
Just direct your feet
11
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:27,819
To the sunny side
Of the street
12
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:28,820
Thank you.
13
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:30,364
Thank you.
14
00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,203
I used to walk in the shade
15
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:42,000
With those blues on parade
But I'm not afraid
16
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,460
This rover...
17
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:52,719
If I never had a cent,
I'd be rich as Rockefeller
18
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,972
Gold dust at my feet...
19
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:57,057
Beer.
20
00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:02,563
I got spurs that jingle
Jangle, jingle
21
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,400
As I ride merrily...
22
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,687
Holy coyote.
23
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:26,772
What's that stink?
24
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,816
It smells like they're burning
the chef's special
25
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:30,984
up there at Melville's.
26
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,071
Smells like they're
burning the chef.
27
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,238
No, no, wait a minute.
28
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,615
I know what that smell is.
29
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:41,828
Ah.
30
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,330
Anybody mind if I smoke?
31
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,956
Not if you put
the lit end
32
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:46,249
in your mouth.
33
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,629
I learned how to smoke them
this way, Carla,
34
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,173
and I'll stick with it that way.
35
00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:01,223
Whoo, boy, is somebody
boiling tar in here?
36
00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,308
No, Sam,
I'm smoking my cigar.
37
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:07,145
Would someone please
boil some tar in here?
38
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,606
- Afternoon, everybody.
- Norm!
39
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,942
Hey.
40
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:13,318
What's new, Normie?
41
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,113
Terrorists, Sam.
42
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,948
They've taken over
my stomach
43
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,534
and they're
demanding beer.
44
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,119
It's a world
gone mad, Norm.
45
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,245
Ugh.
46
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:24,454
What's that stench?
47
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,498
- It's my cigar, Normie.
- Oh.
48
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,083
Let me know if it bothers you.
49
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,710
It bothers me.
50
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,420
Join the club.
51
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,590
New cologne, Sam?
52
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,719
It's a step up.
53
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:42,305
Do you have any idea
how much that cigar stinks, Coach?
54
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,640
Are you kidding?
55
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,225
It's right below my nose.
56
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,603
Sammy, all set to...
57
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:52,023
You bet, good buddy.
58
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,317
Did that gesture signify
59
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,486
a primitive mating ritual?
60
00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,656
Actually, me and Normie
are going up to the woods
61
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,491
to spend the day fishing.
62
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,535
- Fishing...
- Mm, yeah.
63
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:04,786
How lovely.
64
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,538
You know,
it's truly essential
65
00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:07,914
to one's peace of mind
66
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,207
now and then
67
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,418
to get back in tune
68
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,919
with the rhythms
of nature
69
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,338
and totally shed
the mechanized world.
70
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:16,548
Yeah, you're right.
71
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:18,550
Did you remember
to bring the TV set this time?
72
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:22,012
- Yeah. I got a portable VCR, Sam.
- Oh, good.
73
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,972
Yeah, yeah, we got, I rented, uh,
74
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,599
Porky's II and Splash.
75
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,517
All right!
76
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,104
I suppose you have
77
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,856
an electronic
fish tracking device too.
78
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,316
Oh, don't be silly.
79
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,109
That wouldn't be sportsmanlike, Diane.
80
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,736
We prefer depth charges.
81
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:38,987
Boom!
82
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:40,739
Yeah.
83
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:44,159
So, uh, you guys are, uh,
going fishing, huh?
84
00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:45,827
Yeah, yeah,
go pull some lip.
85
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,079
What do you got?
86
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:51,082
- Boy, I love fishing.
- Yeah.
87
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,585
I guess it's just one of those
spur-of-the-moment decisions, huh?
88
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,420
No, no, no, we planned this for weeks.
89
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,839
- Check this little lake right here.
- Oh, that looks good.
90
00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:00,801
I guess you just forgot to tell me,
your best buddy.
91
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,302
I don't know.
I don't remember.
92
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,221
Well, I do.
You didn't.
93
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,723
Well, maybe you remembered
to mention it
94
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,559
in front of some other best friend
who lives
95
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,520
for doing manly things in the wild.
96
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,773
Cliff ie, you want to go fishing with us?
97
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:17,442
Aw, no, that's okay, Sam.
I don't want to infringe
98
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:18,652
on you and Norm's good time.
99
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,487
You're gonna have to
if you want to come along.
100
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:23,824
Come on, come on,
let's go fishing.
101
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,283
All right, all right, all right.
102
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,910
I'd better check
my social calendar.
103
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,870
That's the wall
of the men's room.
104
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:32,123
You know, I wouldn't mind
doing a little fishing either.
105
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,667
Me neither, Sammy.
106
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,961
You got room
for some more company?
107
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,546
What the hell?
Let's make it a party.
108
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:38,964
Hey, hey, hey,
wait, wait a minute.
109
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,216
I thought it was just going
to be us three buddies, huh?
110
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,426
- Oh, come on, Cliff.
- It's not that I mind.
111
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:44,845
It's just that
I'm a little surprised
112
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,596
you guys are so eager
to go someplace
113
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,098
you're obviously
not wanted.
114
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,642
There's some gear
in the back there, guys.
115
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,063
Oh, hello, Diane.
116
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,356
Hi, Frasier.
117
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,069
Frasier...
118
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,154
your lips
are troubled.
119
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:05,907
No wonder.
120
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:08,285
Look at the hell
he puts them through.
121
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,331
Well, this has been
a bad day.
122
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,250
Bad week. Bad month.
123
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:16,918
This time of the year
is murder
124
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,837
on the psychiatric
profession.
125
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,756
Well, just sit down
and relax, huh?
126
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,425
Scotch, Sam.
127
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:25,719
You got problems there, Frase?
128
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,138
Oh, it's all the neuroses I face
day in and day out.
129
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,140
It can't help but have
a negative effect on me.
130
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,225
Well, why don't you just do
what I did?
131
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,311
Throw her clothes in the hallway
and lock the door.
132
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,983
Sam, Diane
is my salvation.
133
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,151
It's my patients
134
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:42,694
that have caused
this distress.
135
00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:43,778
Well, think of it--
136
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:44,988
Day after day,
137
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,656
miserable people
coming into your office
138
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:47,824
and pouring out
139
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,576
their litany of depression
and anxiety.
140
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,286
The only way my situation
could be any worse
141
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,580
is if I actually
listened to them.
142
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,540
Even at a time
like this,
143
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,459
his humor survived.
144
00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:00,045
I know exactly
what you're saying, Doc.
145
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,379
I do.
146
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,173
After all the years
behind this bar,
147
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,550
I've learned how to make
a lot of people happy.
148
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:06,968
Oh, how's that,
Coach?
149
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:10,639
Well, whatever problem they got,
I point out the bigger problem.
150
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:14,184
Now, in your case, you know,
you're going bald.
151
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,815
I am. Yeah.
152
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,443
Now I'm depressed
and losing my hair.
153
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:24,861
Well, that's nothing.
154
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:26,196
It's child's play
155
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,073
compared to that big mole
you got on your neck.
156
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,743
Now, please, Coach, no more.
157
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:32,953
I'm cheered up now.
158
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,579
Any time, Doc.
159
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,374
All right, Sammy,
160
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,417
just one quick stop
to change clothes
161
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,794
and we'll be all set.
162
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,420
Okey-dokey.
163
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:44,130
Hope things look up
for you there, Frasier.
164
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,632
Going fishing, are you?
165
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:46,633
Yeah.
166
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,218
Oh, well, how idyllic.
167
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,886
The peace of the woods.
168
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:53,848
Away from the noise, the crime,
and the borderline psychotics.
169
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,725
Well, actually, Cliff ie's
coming along, too.
170
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,103
Just kidding.
171
00:07:58,269 --> 00:07:59,688
I was just kidding,
Cliff.
172
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,147
Okay, Coach, good night.
173
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,148
So long, Sam.
174
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,692
See you, guys.
Be back later.
175
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,528
Sam, it looks like
you might have room
176
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:07,862
for one more in your car.
177
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,781
Isn't there someone else
you'd like to invite?
178
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,116
A certain
179
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,326
very depressed
gentleman?
180
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:18,039
The bass are about this big
up there, Frasier.
181
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,249
Want to go get one?
182
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,584
Well, I've never been fishing,
but, you know,
183
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,586
it might be
just what I need right now.
184
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,630
If none of you mind,
you can count me in.
185
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:26,756
Goody.
186
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,469
Well, watch out, fish,
here I come.
187
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:35,765
You want to come along?
188
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,852
We're running a little low
on bait.
189
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,895
Aw, cut it out, you kidder.
190
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:41,938
Now, Sam...
191
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,940
Take care
of my fella.
192
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,859
He's a tenderfoot.
193
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,612
How come you're not
going on
194
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,156
that fishing trip,
Coach?
195
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,657
I don't like
the smell of them.
196
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:53,950
Yeah, fish stink.
197
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,577
No, the guys.
198
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:59,789
Out in that sun all day,
stuck in the muck.
199
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,499
Who needs it?
200
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,298
- Hey, Coach?
- Yeah?
201
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,883
Want to play
Red Sox trivia?
202
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,259
Yeah, sure, fire away.
203
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,803
Oh, good. I got some real
tough ones for you this time.
204
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,972
Ready? Number one.
205
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:19,309
What over-.300 hitter
was called--
206
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:20,810
Jimmy Foxx.
207
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,103
Right.
208
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,688
But that was just
an easy warm-up.
209
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,440
Now we're going to start. Okay?
210
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:26,524
Shoot.
211
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,235
What Red Sox shortstop
succeeded--
212
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,695
Don Buddin.
213
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:33,156
I'm thinking of an outfielder.
214
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:34,616
Conigliaro.
215
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,243
Boy, you are good.
216
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,536
Try me now.
217
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:39,954
Uh...
218
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:42,582
Who was the only man
to pinch hit--
219
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:43,833
Lu Clinton.
220
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,376
You sure
you want to go on?
221
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:46,544
Nah, I don't know.
222
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,755
It's just not as much fun
as it used to be.
223
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,715
Think we've been
playing together too long?
224
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:53,093
Well, was the answer
to your next question
225
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,136
going to be Frank Malzone?
226
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,514
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
227
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,274
Looks like you had a good time.
228
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,026
Oh, great time, Diane,
great time.
229
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,653
I'm so glad.
230
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,115
Where's Frasier?
231
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:23,248
Did I say something amusing?
232
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:26,334
You're going to get a giggle
out of this, Diane.
233
00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,294
Frasier's still up in the woods.
234
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,587
He's snipe hunting.
235
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:35,218
You sent him on a snipe hunt?
I love it.
236
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,971
What's
a snipe hunt?
237
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,514
A snipe hunt's
an age-old custom
238
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,182
wherein we take
an initiated hunter,
239
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,225
like your Dr. Crane,
240
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:43,852
put him in a clearing
with a gunnysack,
241
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,645
and the rest of us
go into the bush
242
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,522
to beat out
the snipe to him.
243
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,359
Rather
an elemental sport,
244
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,987
but I still don't see
the humor in it.
245
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,738
The humor, Diane, is that,
246
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,740
while the guy's out there
with a gunnysack,
247
00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:58,992
we go off,
248
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,618
have a nice dinner
in a restaurant,
249
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,203
and come back here
for some beers.
250
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,457
Well, you see,
251
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,459
there's no such thing,
really, as a snipe,
252
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,044
so there's
no real reason
253
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,796
for any of us
to hang around,
254
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,798
but-- but since
the bagger
255
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,091
doesn't know that,
256
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,926
he stays and we leave.
257
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:23,183
I swear to you,
this is really funny, Diane.
258
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,311
You should have seen
your buddy out there,
259
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,312
Frasier.
260
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:28,605
He's a real sport, Diane.
261
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,773
He was practicing the bagger's position...
262
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,820
And Sammy made up
this terrific snipe call.
263
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,577
Actually, somebody else made that up.
264
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,412
You could hear him
doing it for miles away.
265
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:50,460
In other words,
you abandoned Frasier in the woods.
266
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:53,254
Well, that's another way of putting it,
267
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,924
but it doesn't sound as funny that way.
268
00:11:57,508 --> 00:12:00,178
Of all the immature,
low-minded,
269
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,013
aberrant behavior
ever exhibited here,
270
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,181
this is the lowest, Sam.
271
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:05,058
Whoa, what do you
mean, Sam?
272
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,643
You're the ringleader.
273
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,019
You could have stopped it.
274
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:10,730
These lemmings
don't have minds of their own.
275
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:13,775
Yeah, she's right, you know, Sam.
276
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:15,443
Yep, sad, but true, Sammy.
277
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:16,486
She is not.
278
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,239
Oh, of course not.
Whatever you say, boss.
279
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,448
Hey, would you guys...
280
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:23,409
Oh, come on.
You're overreacting here, Diane.
281
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:24,994
It's a harmless little prank, that's all.
282
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,288
I mean, all guys fall for it.
283
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,040
It's fun.
284
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,708
Did you ever fall for it?
285
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,919
Well, no, not personally, but,
286
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,754
I know a lot of my
close friends have,
287
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,339
and, boy, did they have
a terrific time.
288
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:38,591
You have to be
a certain kind of guy.
289
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,635
A real dink.
290
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,263
Thanks a lot, Carla.
291
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,305
Oh, come on.
292
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,057
Look, Frasier's got
a sense of humor.
293
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:48,393
I bet he's up
in the woods right now,
294
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,770
laughing himself silly.
295
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:54,232
I am sure that he is not.
296
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,484
Ah...
Like many who enter
297
00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:58,528
the psychiatric profession,
298
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:01,489
Frasier is a sensitive
and trusting man.
299
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,157
You took advantage of his trust.
300
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,910
He turned to you for a much-needed
day of relaxation
301
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:07,412
and instead,
you gave him this.
302
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:11,416
A cruel, malicious,
destructive, moronic prank.
303
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:14,002
A good-natured, fun,
character-building,
304
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,753
moronic prank.
305
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,841
If there's a shred of decency
left among you,
306
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,884
you'll go back and find him.
307
00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:27,307
I'll go.
308
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:32,228
Thank you for that brief flash
of humanity.
309
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,856
I can't believe this.
310
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:42,780
So you're here.
311
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,825
Well, I'm furious with all of you
for what you did to me.
312
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,202
Frasier, I can explain.
313
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,495
Why did you introduce me
314
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,247
to that--
to that intoxicating sport?
315
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:52,498
I'm positively hooked on it.
316
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,138
I was hoping
you'd come back here
317
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:09,140
when you couldn't find me,
and I want to apologize.
318
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,142
After a couple of hours
in the position,
319
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,144
I heard some snipe rustling
in the bush,
320
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,771
so I went off to pursue them
321
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,565
and, well,
I got lost in the woods.
322
00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:19,150
And I scrambled about
for a while
323
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:21,861
until I heard the sound of cars
on the highway.
324
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,030
So I flagged down
an 18-wheeler, and then, uh,
325
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,490
made my way back to safety.
326
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:28,284
Good friends, I'm...
I'm sorry.
327
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:29,535
I let you down.
328
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,537
It's the last thing
I wanted to do.
329
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,332
Frasier, are you sure
you're all right?
330
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:35,625
All right?
331
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,418
Diane, I'm aglow.
I'm transported.
332
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,462
Of course, I don't expect
you to understand.
333
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:42,465
It has to do with the unspoken bond
between men.
334
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,260
Sorry, I'm a little emotional.
335
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:47,553
Coach, set up my buddies.
336
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,305
I want to drink
to the camaraderie of this night.
337
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:50,890
Oh, you don't have
to do that, Frasier.
338
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,183
Oh, nonsense.
339
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:54,185
Hey, hey, he wants
to buy his friends a drink.
340
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,186
Come on.
341
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:56,479
As you know,
as you know,
342
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:57,688
it is the bagger's
prerogative.
343
00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:58,981
Oh, what a marvelous tradition.
344
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,358
Let's drink to it.
345
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:01,734
Frasier,
may I have a word
346
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:02,944
in private with you?
347
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,487
It's about
what happened tonight.
348
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:05,696
Well, not now, Diane.
349
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,365
You're interfering
with male bonding.
350
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,451
To snipe hunting.
351
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:11,452
All right.
352
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:12,787
The most humane of sports.
353
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,414
No guns, no knives.
354
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,749
Just a man
and a plain, simple bag.
355
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,543
Like you and Diane.
356
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:23,005
Frasier--
Oh, come on, Diane.
357
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,549
Guys make jokes
about their mates,
358
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:25,758
right, guys?
359
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,635
Right. Right.
360
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:28,886
Look, you probably all think
361
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:30,304
I'm being a bit manic about this,
362
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,056
but the fact is,
I haven't spent that much time
363
00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,224
out of doors in my life,
364
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,559
and I was exhilarated by it.
365
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:37,687
It was a revelation to me
how quiet it was.
366
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:40,523
I heard an owl
for the first time.
367
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:41,899
You know, I finally understand
368
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:44,152
why guys get hung up
on going to the woods.
369
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,319
Camping, fishing.
370
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:48,406
Yeah, yeah, just wait till
the first time you come back home
371
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,616
with a snipe strapped
to the hood of your car, huh?
372
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:51,826
Yeah.
373
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,663
Yep, that's a thrill of a lifetime.
374
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:56,956
Yep.
375
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,125
Yeah, my one regret
is we didn't get a snipe.
376
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,334
And it's all my fault.
377
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:01,961
I let you guys down.
378
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,045
No...
379
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,672
No, no, you didn't
disappoint us, Frasier.
380
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:05,798
No, as a matter of fact,
381
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,216
if there's one thing
you didn't do,
382
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,801
it was disappoint us.
383
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,012
Say, I-- I--
384
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:14,265
I think it's time that we told you
a little something here, Frasier.
385
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:15,600
You see,
the fellas and I--
386
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:16,851
Frasier,
I hate to interrupt,
387
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:19,228
but I really think
you should go freshen up.
388
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:21,022
Oh, you're right, Diane.
I'm filthy.
389
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:26,944
Oh, oh, and...
I want to thank all of you
390
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:30,698
for, well, caring enough
to include me tonight.
391
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,330
Oh, I don't believe it.
392
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,831
That guy
is a bigger boob
393
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,208
than Cliff.
394
00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,212
No argument here.
395
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:48,633
So, what was
the problem there?
396
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,551
I was just going
to tell him the truth.
397
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:51,886
Oh, do you have to?
398
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,096
Oh, what's the good
of giving a guy the shaft
399
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,098
if you can't laugh
in his face about it?
400
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,684
You listen to me,
Sam Malone.
401
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,603
Now this may be hard
for you to understand--
402
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:01,854
Most things are--
403
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,565
But finding out
in front of all these people
404
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,859
that he was the butt
of your joke
405
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,528
would be devastating
to Frasier.
406
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,531
He's always been
the odd man out.
407
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:13,824
Even when he was a child
408
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,244
and the kids would
choose up sides for softball,
409
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:18,246
he was always
the last one picked.
410
00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:21,082
"You take the girl
and we'll take Frasier."
411
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,584
Yeah, I remember.
412
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,503
I always used to feel sorry
for those guys.
413
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,630
Even when
I was doing it to them.
414
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:31,467
Yeah, Frasier was lucky.
415
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:35,429
Some children were laughed
off the playground entirely.
416
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,349
Oh, hey, not me, of course.
417
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:39,809
Yeah, I was always out there.
418
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,102
And you still are.
419
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:46,190
Well, you know,
maybe I'm just lucky,
420
00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:48,651
but nothing like that
ever really happened to me.
421
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,236
No, wait, now,
wait a minute, Sam.
422
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,821
What about
when I told you
423
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,155
that you weren't
even invited
424
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,241
to the Red Sox
alumni dinner this year?
425
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:59,704
I wasn't invited
to the alumni dinner?
426
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,207
No, no, no, no,
what am I talking about?
427
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:05,126
They're not even
having a dinner.
428
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:06,669
But while I'm thinking about it,
429
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:08,254
can I have Saturday night off?
430
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,298
What for?
431
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:12,717
Death in the family.
432
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,761
Sure.
433
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,057
Hey, Sam, come on.
What's the poop here?
434
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,768
We got to tell Frasier.
You're holding up the laughfest, huh?
435
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,270
We don't have to tell Frasier,
436
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,148
and we're not going to,
ever.
437
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:28,899
Then why'd we do it?
438
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,652
Well, you're obviously
bored with lip diddling.
439
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,781
Well, he's going to find out
eventually, Diane.
440
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,783
Yeah, and we should be
the ones to tell him,
441
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,452
because we did
all the hard work.
442
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,622
He might not find out.
443
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,165
Frasier
isn't an outdoorsman.
444
00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,208
He doesn't hang around
with people like that.
445
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,877
If he should
find out about it,
446
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,211
years later,
447
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,838
he'll be able
to laugh about it
448
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,256
from a distance...
449
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:54,091
especially if some,
450
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:56,302
or all,
of you are dead.
451
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,597
Now, that isn't asking
too much, is it?
452
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:01,432
Well, Diane...
453
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:02,808
Sam?
454
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:03,893
What?
455
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,521
There's one other thing
I want you to know.
456
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,274
Lord knows why, but...
457
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,904
Frasier thinks of you
as a friend.
458
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,698
As a matter of fact,
459
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:21,202
he thinks of you as one
of his closest friends.
460
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,372
Get out of here.
461
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:25,831
He does, Sam.
462
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:32,380
Gee, what a boo-- boo--
bootiful guy he is.
463
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:33,714
All right, all right.
464
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,508
We'll do it your way.
465
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:39,553
Fellas, nobody tells Frasier the truth
about the snipe hunt, okay?
466
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,766
Well, it's
a stupid oversight.
467
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,142
If Sam Malone
isn't invited,
468
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,602
I'm not coming.
469
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,354
I'm only kidding. I'll be there.
470
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:49,897
Eight o'clock sharp.
471
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,110
Wrong number.
472
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,696
Thank you, everyone.
473
00:19:56,862 --> 00:20:00,116
Believe me, it's best
just to let this matter drop.
474
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:03,619
No need for Frasier to suffer
any embarrassment.
475
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,080
"Let the matter drop?"
476
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,248
I heard that, Diane.
477
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:08,457
I deserted my post,
478
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,418
and now I need a woman
to plead my case.
479
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,504
Well, Frasier,
if you feel that strong about it,
480
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:16,173
maybe we could
take another shot at it.
481
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:19,927
You'd do that for me?
482
00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:23,347
Oh, yeah, yeah,
you bet we would.
483
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:27,268
Fine!
484
00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,103
Well, let's get back out there!
485
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:30,312
Out where?
486
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,106
Out in the wilds,
where the snipe run free.
487
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:33,482
No...
488
00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,901
When I was in the men's room,
I looked in the mirror.
489
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,027
Do you know what I saw?
490
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:38,237
A quitter.
491
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:40,489
A man who
lets his buddies down.
492
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,241
I want to prove myself.
493
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,077
Yep, yeah, well, hear that guys?
494
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,328
Looks like, uh, Frase wants
495
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,997
to go back out there
again tonight.
496
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:49,999
Absolutely I want to go
back out there again tonight!
497
00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:52,501
Do you know what tonight is?
It's the night of the full moon.
498
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:53,669
Now, Sam told me
499
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,671
that the snipe run best
when it's a full moon.
500
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,799
- I said that.
- That's right!
501
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:00,760
And you said they'd be running
all night long, right?
502
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,678
I said that too.
503
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,054
Well, then what
are we waiting for?
504
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:05,473
Nothing.
Let's get outta here.
505
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,600
- Come on.
- Aw, Frase, you know,
506
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,393
I really got to hand it
to you, fella.
507
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:10,478
Yeah, you're
the first bagger
508
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,271
I ever met with enough stamina,
509
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,565
to go snipe hunting
twice in the same night.
510
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:15,941
Yeah, you're going to go down
511
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,193
in the annals of snipe hunting.
512
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,488
- Sam, please.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
513
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:21,489
Thank you very much
514
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,073
for making us promise
not to tell him.
515
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,743
This way we get to give him
a double whammy.
516
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:28,746
Frasier, before you go,
I need a moment alone with you.
517
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:30,331
Can't this wait
until tomorrow, Diane?
518
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:32,500
Yeah, we're feeling
the thrill of the hunt.
519
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:33,918
Yeah, so does Frasier.
520
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,252
Frasier...
521
00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:39,089
Women.
522
00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,801
I guess she wants
to kiss me or something, huh?
523
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:43,511
You have to indulge them,
you know.
524
00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,012
Dames.
525
00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:48,474
Yeah, that is why
I don't have a girlfriend.
526
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,559
Reason number 27.
527
00:21:55,356 --> 00:21:59,944
Frasier, sometimes people
do thoughtless things.
528
00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:02,112
They don't mean any harm.
529
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:04,406
They just don't know any better.
They're insensitive.
530
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:05,699
Well, good Lord, Diane,
531
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:07,952
you sound like the psychologist
I had when I was eight.
532
00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:09,203
What are you trying to say?
533
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:13,207
There's no such thing
as a snipe hunt.
534
00:22:13,374 --> 00:22:15,000
They played a childish prank
on you.
535
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,752
I know that.
536
00:22:16,919 --> 00:22:18,796
What?!
537
00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:20,589
Good Lord, Diane, I mean,
538
00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:22,925
a man does not crouch
in the woods for two hours
539
00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:25,553
without having
a revelation or two.
540
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:29,473
So this is part
of a plan
541
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,809
and I unwittingly
helped you?
542
00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:33,394
Yes.
543
00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:37,189
Frasier, how devious.
544
00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:40,359
But why didn't you tell me?
545
00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:42,695
Well, I couldn't trust you.
You'd have thought it was too cruel.
546
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:45,155
Oh, are you kidding?
I would've helped.
547
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,783
Frasier, this
is so unlike you.
548
00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:49,451
I know, but it's what guys do,
darling.
549
00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:51,328
We screw each other
to the wall.
550
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,833
Boy, it's great to be
one of the gang, I'll tell you.
551
00:22:56,542 --> 00:22:57,543
Now, you see,
552
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,169
when we get up to that clearing,
553
00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:01,255
I'm going to get them
to pose for a photo.
554
00:23:01,422 --> 00:23:03,507
And after they disappear
into the woods to beat out snipe,
555
00:23:03,674 --> 00:23:05,301
I'm going to rush to the car,
drive back here,
556
00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:07,136
and make you
one of my famous omelets.
557
00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:12,433
Frasier, I find
your cunning arousing.
558
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,477
Mm... Well,
that's what it's there for, baby.
559
00:23:17,438 --> 00:23:19,523
I've got to share this
with the troops, Diane.
560
00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:22,610
Men?
You're not going to believe this,
561
00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:26,238
but Diane there
just attempted to tell me
562
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,574
that there's no such thing
as a snipe.
563
00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:30,743
- No. No.
- No.
564
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:33,245
They will say anything
to keep you at home.
565
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:34,914
Diane, I promise you,
566
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,999
you will not become
a snipe widow.
567
00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:38,500
All right now, men,
568
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:39,919
let's go get one.
569
00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:41,211
To the woods!
570
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,136
Listen, I'm sorry,
but I swear to you,
571
00:23:49,303 --> 00:23:50,596
in years to come
572
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:53,182
we're going to all sit back
and have a good laugh over this.
573
00:23:53,349 --> 00:23:56,435
Not all of us will be laughing.
574
00:23:56,602 --> 00:23:59,521
You'll see. Trust me.
575
00:24:00,898 --> 00:24:03,025
Look, it's starting to snow.
576
00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:05,069
Don't worry, Frasier,
the colder the better.
40435
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