All language subtitles for I.Dont.Like.Driving.S01E05.SPANISH.WEBRip.x264

BABIECA DRIVING SCHOOL

Does anyone know what this is?

The speed limit on highways?

Incorrect.

It's our intensive 'Made in Cuenca'
method success rate.

Celebrities who have passed through here:

Paco León, Macaco,
El Juli and vice versa...

Were they smarter than you?

No, but they learned
because they enjoyed driving.

- You, what's your name?
- Ángel.

Ángel, why have you come
to Cuenca to get your license?

Because they said
here it's easier to pass.

Expelled.

It's not "easier to pass" here.

Passing here is like anywhere else,
am I clear?

- Where are you going?
- You said I'm "expelled".

It was a joke, pal, sit down.

You, the one quiet in the back there.

Why are you here?

I'd rather you ask someone else.

I'm asking you.
Why do you want to get your license?

Well, so I can drive. The usual.

Nothing usual about that.

You usually get your license
when you're 20 and look at you.

In the mornings,
we'll prep for the theoretical test

doing several online mock test.

And in the afternoons, practical lessons.

OK, let's get started on the "tes".

- I've already passed the theoretical test.
- Do you have your certificate?

No, but I can get it.

You were one
of Lorenzo's students, right?

Yes.

I don't know what my brother's said,
but we're in Cuenca.

I can't ask each
student for their casuistry

and adapt my training method
accordingly, you see.

Do I have to take it again?

You signed up for the full package.
I'll do my end of the deal.

Up to you if you want to do the same.

I DON'T LIKE DRIVING

Hi, it's Iria. Leave a message.

Hi, Iria.

Just to say, I've taken a few days off
from the university

and I've come to Cuenca.

There's a school where you can get
your license in a week.

We'll see if...

Anyway...

They say it's where all
the celebrities come.

I haven't seen any so far.

That's not why I'm here, obviously.

They say you can get fast-tracked.

They have a 95% success rate.

I guess... you really have
to screw things up to flunk.

Just wanted to let you know,
I'll be away for a few days.

Take care. Big kiss. Bye.

What are you afraid of?

- Me?
- You look tense.

You, looking at me like that
makes me nervous.

- Lopetegui...
- Can we go by first names?

No.

We've started off the wrong foot,
I want you to pass.

You have to gain confidence,
feel secure and vice versa.

And I, so help me god,
I'm going to assist you.

- For success rates.
- Exactly.

The problem is you come
with many little habits...

that my brother has drilled into you.

Let's see if we can undo it in a week.

What am I doing wrong?

If you mean your life in general,
I'm sure everything,

- but that's none of my business.
- I mean driving-wise.

What's important is you like driving
and my brother hasn't taught you that.

OK, so what now?

Get comfy in the seat.
Relax your shoulders.

Relax them. Relax.

- Relax, damn it!
- I'm trying.

Here, to enjoy driving

all you gotta do is "fake it",
just pretend.

If you don't like it,
just pretend, damn it.

Lie to yourself,
I'm sure it's not the first time.

- Pardon me?
- Just fucking relax!

Relax! Come on! One, two, three... go!

You like driving. Do you like to drive?

- Yes?
- Can you feel it?

- Not really.
- Not really

Well, you'll catch on eventually.

Come on, first gear
before it's Christmas.

- Camino driving school.
- Hi, Elisa, it's Pablo.

Hello, Pablo!

Look, I'm going to need
my theory test certificate.

Sure, come by whenever
and I'll give you a copy.

I can't, actually. Can you send it to me?

Where?

- Can you fax it?
- Fax it?

Or e-mail it?

Why don't you download it from
the DfT app? Do you have it?

The app? No.

Download it, it's all there.

- OK. Great, thank you.
- Everything OK?

- Yeah, it's all good.
- You sound a little...

Sorry, I've been trying to download
this app and it's not happening.

Sometimes it's the wifi,
but I'm sure it's not that.

So what is it then?

Certain apps aren't compatible
with your cell phone's operating system.

What's my phone's operating system?

I don't know. I'm not...

Why did you say it doesn't work?

No, I said maybe...

No, no, no, no, no.

You first said
it doesn't work on my phone.

- I'm just saying.
- "I'm just saying" means nil.

Not only do words matter,
they are essential.

If they didn't, then why care at all.

No. Choose your words with
a bit more care, please.

Yes... if you don't mind.

Hotel Astoria Cuenca, good evening.

Yes.

- Next round is on me.
- Let's see, please.

- Can we order another round?
- No, it's closed.

Let's party in my room!

Please!

- It's the old guy?
- Tell him to come over.

It's recording. Just say it, damn it.

Even though Daniel is a famous singer,

here he's just another student
looking for a wheel deal.

Daniel Selvas, thank you
for choosing Babieca Driving School.

Everyone knows you pass faster here,

but what I always say:

You don't count the days,
you make the days count.

Daniel, do the lion!

- I'm in love.
- Me too.

As you all know,
Daniel couldn't start yesterday

because of a professional commitment,

but today we're just going
to keep on trucking.

Sorry, did you not hear what I said?

Sorry.

Here he wants to be like everybody else
and we're going to respect that.

This isn't some fan club.

Well, we're all big fans,
but you catch my drift.

Sorry.

- If you don't mind...
- Excuse me?

Did you not hear him? Please, no photos.

Who me?

Let's get started with the "tes".

By the way, if anybody here thinks
they don't have to take the "tes",

because supposedly they already
passed the theoretical "tes",

without real proof,
feel free to do whatever you like.

It's a free country.

That person can just get up
and go home if he wish.

- Satur, by our first name?
- Of course, Daniel, no need to ask.

I've been driving
since I was five years old.

One thing's driving another's a license.

For starters,
both hands on the steering wheel,

I can also reach up to 240
on the Tarancón road

and drive with my knees,
which I'm not allowed to teach,

that's just me. I always say

your guardian angel can be sleeping
on the job, so watch out.

If you want a photo, you can just ask
and we'll take one, no problem.

But right now I'm trying to focus,
a little bit of respect.

I'm not taking your photo.
I don't know who you are or care.

Sure you know who I am. How do you not.

Daniel, concentrate, distractions
at the wheel cause accidents.

It's easy-peasy, Satur.

Daniel, just like I told Mr. Lopetegui.

Everyone's on equal footing here,
no favoritism.

Exactly.

If someone's likable or not differs,

but in principle zero favoritism.

- Hello?
- This is room 209.

This is the second night they're
having a party next door.

- A party?
- Music, screams, noise... listen.

- Can you hear it?
- No.

Who's making the noise?

The driving school people.

Well, you know what these kids are like,

They come to spend a week here
and like to let off a little steam.

No big deal.

You're also enrolled in Babieca, right?

Yes, so?

Why aren't you at the party?

Because I don't feel like it.

Is Satur teaching you?

- What does that have to do with anything?
- Satur is the best, huh?

I also got my license with him.

Satur is a big deal here in Cuenca,

he knows everyone because
he's also a city councilor... and more.

Like what?

Well, things.
A little bit of this and that.

Do you have another room
on another floor?

No, no, no. It's fully booked.

- Have you checked?
- Yes, I'm checking right now.

It's all fully booked.

Can I have coffee with milk, please?
Decaf better.

Ever notice.

How folks go out for drinks
with their babies in strollers...

I know Cuenca isn't exactly small,
but you get what I mean.

- Did you check out of the hotel?
- It's impossible to sleep

with your fan's constant partying.

Why aren't you hanging with them?

Waiting for it to warm up.
I'll drop by last thing.

Ah, of course. They're just warming up.

You don't like me very much, do you?

I'm indifferent.

Then why?

Why are you so defensive?
So awkward all the time.

Not because of you for sure.

Maybe because I'm starting
to run thin on time

that I can spend
on getting my goddamn license.

You have blocked trauma.

And it won't go until
you figure it out and sort it out.

Well, honestly, I've always thought
driving is for chumps.

Your problem is you dislike everyone.

Could be.

Before this I was a bullfighter.

And now I'm a singer,
but I was a bullfighter.

I didn't quit because I was scared.
I wasn't scared.

Once I was in front of a bull

and I felt... I too felt like an animal,

specifically a lion.

And can a lion kill a bull?

Why not?
In theory, it's totally possible.

I know you don't believe me.
You don't believe me.

I am a lion.

I'm not an isolated case.

Of people who are animals?

- Yes...
- No.

We are animals.

It hindered my chances in
the bullring but not on stage.

- Want to hear me roar?
- No thanks.

Sorry.

What?

- Good night.
- No, wait a minute.

If you could be any animal
which would you be?

- Hi, good evening.
- Good evening.

Do you have a room?

- How many do you need?
- Just one.

Ah, since you said "rooms".

- I was just saying.
- "I was just saying", no.

Words are important.

Words have meaning so choose carefully.

Do you have a room yes or no?

You're the Madrid professor
enrolled with Satur, right?

How do you know?

News travels fast around here,
and if Satur's involved...

What about Satur?

I'm sorry, we're fully booked.

- No vacancy?
- Nothing.

Mind if I sit over there?

To sleep?

Never mind. Good night.

Guys, I'm going to sleep I'm exhausted.

Yeah, me too.

ARTURO MACÍAS BRAVE SCHOONER

Hello. Yolanda?

Hello, how are you? It's Lopetegui.

Lopetegui.

There is your certificate.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I would have asked my wife,
but we're not getting along at the moment.

Now I understand why you look so down.

That's because
I haven't slept in two days.

So then? What's the scene in Cuenca like?

Why?

You want to hit the town?

Maybe.

Aren't you upset?

Because what I told you after the exam.

Ah, that talent isn't inherited?

I knew you didn't mean it,
because you then gave me an A.

I'd boost your grade
for bringing my certificate,

but I've never given anyone an A+.

Did Ramon give you any flack when
you picked up the car?

Not at all. He thinks I'm your mistress.

- Don't say things like that Yolanda.
- I didn't say anything.

I can't wait to see the look
on Satur's face when he sees this.

I'm dying to meet Lorenzo's
legendary brother,

Is he a scumbag like they say?

He's an idiot.

To mess with me,
he refers to me as mister.

He thinks vice versa means etcetera.
Attention, vice versa means etcetera.

I hope you haven't corrected him.

I hope you haven't driven
from Madrid like that.

- Like what?
- Like...

Having a license is different to driving.

To start with,
both hands on the steering wheel.

Ten and two.
That's eleven and one. Ten and two.

That's it. Look forward.

- So, satisfied?
- I told you on the first day,

it's the whole
nine yards for everyone here.

But is it valid or not?
It has the official DfT stamp.

Yolanda, please...

What kind of father brings
his own daughter to bail him out?

- She's my student not my daughter.
- And Lorenzo's too.

Even worse. What's my brother
taught you? To complain?

Let me tell you, it never works.

Lorenzo is a very good teacher.

At least he doesn't bully you in class.
He's an educator.

My brother can be as much
of an educator as you want,

I'm an entrepreneur.
Excuse me, I have a class.

- Since when with the first names?
- Please...

You don't teach we just do mock tests.

By the way pronounced tests, not "tes".

And vice versa is not etcetera.

You're getting them confused.

- Sorry, I couldn't resist.
- No, I'm glad you brought it up.

Any 5th grader knows that etcetera

means when you list a series of things.

Vice versa doesn't.
I mean the other way...

The only person getting things
mixed up is you professor.

Ready. Use vice versa
correctly in a sentence.

Enlighten me. Use vice versa correctly.

To get your license, you have
to take both tests.

The theoretical test is worthless without
the practical test and vice versa.

Nailed it that time.

It's practically impossible
for a student to fail in this school.

Practically.

But in a bag there's always a bad nut.

Excuse me.

The driving school called.

You must vacate
the room as soon as possible.

But I've paid for the entire week.

Satur personally called
to say the package is canceled.

- I'm not vacating my room.
- But we're heading to Madrid.

- I don't feel like it now.
- Sir, please don't put me in a bind.

Here Satur is a councilman
among other things.

Like what?

For everyone's sake, vacate the hotel.

I finished your book.

My novel?

The ending resembling
"The Sixth Sense" was the least of it.

Right? I've always maintained
it was a minor coincidence.

Yes.

The worst is the long-winded digressions
that completely drags you away.

Switching points of view for
no apparent reason, Lopetegui.

- Plot inconsistencies...
- Like which?

Sorry, but you're
the one who taught me literary analysis.

No, that analysis sounds just fine.

I finished it at least,

because my dad
didn't get passed chapter one.

You gave it to your dad to read?

I've spoken to dad about you.

Why not? You're my professor
and you're both writers.

Well, one more than the other.

If you knew him, you wouldn't say that.

He's a proper writer.
I'm just frustrated.

Those things are mutually compatible.

Well, yes.

Professor, where are you going?

Aren't you...? Holy crap, you're him!

- Nice to meet you, Daniel Selvas.
- Hello.

Of course, the driving school for celebs.

Want a drink in my room?

I've asked the others to come by.

Your friend can come along, if she wants.

No. She's not my friend,
she's my student from uni.

We were just leaving.

It's only Wednesday.
What about your license?

Forget the license. Not happening.

I might stick around.

What?

Lopetegui, Daniel Selvas
is inviting us to a party.

It's low key, no photos.

It may get a little rowdy later on.

I can't promise anything.

Suit yourself. I'm leaving.

- How are you going to get back?
- Driving, give me the keys.

If the cops pull you over?

I could care less, arrest me.

And if banned from getting
my license, better.

Enough, just let him go.

Exactly.

Seeing that I'm already all
the way out here...

Very well.

Just so you know he's a lion.

Yeah, I already noticed.

No, no. I'm being serious.
He's a real lion.

Yeah, yeah, I've noticed.

Well take care.

What is he, your dad?

STORIES

Elena's family Sunday meal

always consisted of
a garlic soup as a starter

and baked lamb as a main course.

The two dishes that Elena
despised above all others were,

in this order,
garlic soup and baked lamb.

Don't give it another thought.

The more you think on it,
the longer it'll take.

Babieca driving school,
we are the wheel deal.

My sword was Tizona

And my horse Babieca

My sword was Tizona

You were my Doña Jimena

I crossed a sad desert

Which looked like Arizona

It was a land of the unfaithful

Full of gypsies and non-gypsies

It was a land of the unfaithful

What I saw on the back of my horse