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1
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HITCHCOCK: Can you believe this, Scully?
2
00:00:06,942 --> 00:00:08,193
Looks like we're the
only responsible people
3
00:00:08,277 --> 00:00:09,528
who show up on time anymore.
4
00:00:09,612 --> 00:00:10,904
And they're always calling us lazy.
5
00:00:10,988 --> 00:00:12,781
But where are they now? I don't see them.
6
00:00:12,865 --> 00:00:14,765
They're not here. But you know who is?
7
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Hitchcock and Scully. The oafs.
8
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The bozos. The…
9
00:00:17,493 --> 00:00:18,953
Idiots! What are you doing here?
10
00:00:19,037 --> 00:00:20,621
The building's being fumigated.
11
00:00:20,705 --> 00:00:22,164
There were so many emails.
12
00:00:22,248 --> 00:00:23,541
There were? We didn't…
13
00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:25,835
[THUDS]
14
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Lightweight.
15
00:00:27,253 --> 00:00:28,504
That's your takeaway?
16
00:00:28,671 --> 00:00:30,673
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
17
00:00:49,024 --> 00:00:50,858
Just doesn't seem like
he should be that fast
18
00:00:50,942 --> 00:00:52,068
for how big he is. Yeah.
19
00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:53,403
Gah, I hate Wario.
20
00:00:53,570 --> 00:00:54,696
Peralta, my office.
21
00:00:55,197 --> 00:00:56,239
Oh, Kevin's here.
22
00:00:56,615 --> 00:00:57,907
And you both look so upset.
23
00:00:57,991 --> 00:00:59,701
Oh, no. Did they stop funding the arts?
24
00:00:59,785 --> 00:01:01,869
They did, but that doesn't matter anymore.
Nothing does.
25
00:01:01,953 --> 00:01:03,455
Cheddar has been kidnapped.
26
00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:04,998
Someone took our fluffy boy.
27
00:01:05,123 --> 00:01:06,583
Oh, my God! What happened?
28
00:01:06,708 --> 00:01:08,125
Well, Cheddar and I walked
to the bakery together.
29
00:01:08,209 --> 00:01:09,209
We shared a plain scone.
30
00:01:09,293 --> 00:01:10,752
Then we went to the
park and I let him off leash.
31
00:01:10,836 --> 00:01:12,421
He never came back.
32
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Someone took our fluffy boy.
33
00:01:14,215 --> 00:01:15,215
Right. You mentioned that.
34
00:01:15,299 --> 00:01:16,300
Now just to be clear,
35
00:01:16,384 --> 00:01:18,010
you didn't actually see
someone take him, right?
36
00:01:18,094 --> 00:01:19,845
So there's a chance
Cheddar just ran away.
37
00:01:19,929 --> 00:01:21,013
You know like, some dogs do.
38
00:01:21,097 --> 00:01:23,397
Cheddar isn't some dog.
He would never do that.
39
00:01:23,557 --> 00:01:24,684
Someone took our…
40
00:01:24,809 --> 00:01:26,268
Fluffy boy. Yes, I understand.
41
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I need you to drop everything.
42
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Nothing in the world
43
00:01:29,730 --> 00:01:31,398
is as important to me as this dog.
44
00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:32,524
I wouldn't say nothing. For example,
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00:01:32,608 --> 00:01:33,692
you and I are very close.
46
00:01:33,776 --> 00:01:34,776
We don't have time for this. Okay.
47
00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:37,194
In kidnapping, the first 48
hours are the most crucial.
48
00:01:37,278 --> 00:01:39,113
Right.
And in dog years, that's only seven hours.
49
00:01:39,197 --> 00:01:40,281
Why would you say that?
50
00:01:40,365 --> 00:01:41,866
This is why everyone
prefers that dog to you.
51
00:01:41,950 --> 00:01:43,200
Everyone? Okay, look.
52
00:01:43,284 --> 00:01:44,285
I'm just saying that
53
00:01:44,369 --> 00:01:45,745
before we jump to any conclusions
54
00:01:45,829 --> 00:01:47,371
-[CELL PHONE DINGS]
-we should consider the fact
55
00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:48,456
that there's no actual proof
56
00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:49,540
that someone kidnapped Cheddar.
57
00:01:49,624 --> 00:01:51,834
The text, it reads, "I've
kidnapped your dog."
58
00:01:51,918 --> 00:01:54,378
I see. Well, that seems like
pretty hard proof. That's good.
59
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:55,463
Good proof.
60
00:01:55,588 --> 00:01:57,506
♪ I said who's that mama ♪
61
00:01:57,590 --> 00:01:58,591
♪ Looking so cool ♪
62
00:01:58,717 --> 00:02:00,760
♪ I'm that mama looking so cool ♪
63
00:02:00,885 --> 00:02:02,053
Whoa. [GASPS] What?
64
00:02:02,178 --> 00:02:03,219
Oh, sorry, didn't see you there.
65
00:02:03,303 --> 00:02:04,346
Yeah, that was clear.
66
00:02:04,430 --> 00:02:05,597
What's going on?
Why are you dork dancing?
67
00:02:05,681 --> 00:02:09,393
A baby store in Dumbo is
having a contest to win a Snoog.
68
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:11,019
Who or what is a Snoog?
69
00:02:11,145 --> 00:02:13,856
Are you kidding me?
It's only the best stroller.
70
00:02:14,148 --> 00:02:16,066
It has the versatility of Sporjule,
71
00:02:16,191 --> 00:02:17,691
the safety rating of a Fajerb,
72
00:02:17,818 --> 00:02:20,320
and an even smoother
ride than the Kinderbuscht.
73
00:02:20,404 --> 00:02:21,404
Are you having a stroke?
74
00:02:21,488 --> 00:02:23,281
All the best strollers
are from Scandinavia
75
00:02:23,365 --> 00:02:25,075
where they don't hate
people for having children.
76
00:02:25,159 --> 00:02:27,035
I saw Midsommar.
Those people have their own problems.
77
00:02:27,119 --> 00:02:30,538
This Snoog is my dream
stroller, but it's way too expensive.
78
00:02:30,705 --> 00:02:31,705
What's the contest?
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00:02:31,789 --> 00:02:32,790
It's an endurance competition.
80
00:02:32,874 --> 00:02:34,667
Everyone has to stand
with one hand on the stroller,
81
00:02:34,751 --> 00:02:36,251
and if you let go, you're out.
82
00:02:36,335 --> 00:02:37,962
Last person holding on wins.
83
00:02:38,254 --> 00:02:39,672
Sounds painful. Can I come?
84
00:02:39,797 --> 00:02:41,132
Aw, for moral support?
85
00:02:42,383 --> 00:02:43,384
Sure. That.
86
00:02:44,677 --> 00:02:46,011
Okay, sir, the kidnappers
should be calling
87
00:02:46,095 --> 00:02:47,096
with his demands any minute.
88
00:02:47,180 --> 00:02:48,222
If we can trace his location,
89
00:02:48,306 --> 00:02:49,640
we can find your fuzzy boy.
90
00:02:49,724 --> 00:02:51,141
Not fuzzy. He's fluffy.
91
00:02:51,225 --> 00:02:52,476
KEVIN: We don't know what he is anymore.
92
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,311
He could be fuzzy. He could be anything.
93
00:02:54,395 --> 00:02:56,146
Raymond, he could be scruffy.
94
00:02:56,230 --> 00:02:57,772
Now you've upset Kevin.
I hope you're happy.
95
00:02:57,856 --> 00:02:58,898
Why would I be happy?
96
00:02:58,982 --> 00:03:01,109
I clearly just mixed up fuzzy and fluffy.
97
00:03:01,234 --> 00:03:03,069
"Just?" You're fired.
I want your shield and your piece.
98
00:03:03,153 --> 00:03:04,153
That seems a little extreme.
99
00:03:04,237 --> 00:03:05,238
Jake is right. Thank you, Kevin.
100
00:03:05,322 --> 00:03:06,489
Just suspend him without pay.
101
00:03:06,573 --> 00:03:08,199
-Why did you ask for my help?
-[CELL PHONE BUZZING]
102
00:03:08,283 --> 00:03:10,535
He's calling. Sir, remember, we
need two minutes for the trace.
103
00:03:10,619 --> 00:03:11,619
Two minutes. Understood.
104
00:03:11,703 --> 00:03:12,870
So just keep him talking and stay calm.
105
00:03:12,954 --> 00:03:14,604
Peralta, I'm in complete control.
106
00:03:14,873 --> 00:03:16,332
-VOICE [DISTORTED]: Hello.
-Shut your damn mouth.
107
00:03:16,416 --> 00:03:17,583
I'm the one talking here.
108
00:03:17,667 --> 00:03:18,751
Then this is over. [LINE DISCONNECTS]
109
00:03:18,835 --> 00:03:21,285
And he hung up.
Well, that could have gone better.
110
00:03:21,922 --> 00:03:23,922
JEFFORDS: Come on, Terry.
You can pick up that paper.
111
00:03:24,006 --> 00:03:25,716
[GROANING]
112
00:03:26,884 --> 00:03:28,384
No, forget it. [SIGHS WEARILY]
113
00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:29,845
It's only a first offense.
114
00:03:29,970 --> 00:03:31,596
Uh, is everything okay, Lieutenant?
115
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:32,848
You've been groaning all morning.
116
00:03:32,932 --> 00:03:34,099
I'm sore from my workout.
117
00:03:34,183 --> 00:03:36,018
My muscles hurt so bad. Look.
118
00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:39,187
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
119
00:03:39,271 --> 00:03:40,321
Come with me, friend.
120
00:03:40,523 --> 00:03:41,940
I have exactly what you need.
121
00:03:42,024 --> 00:03:44,401
Bone broth.
It's an old Boyle family recipe.
122
00:03:44,527 --> 00:03:46,987
I drink it after every
workout and I'm never sore.
123
00:03:47,112 --> 00:03:48,530
Boyle, I don't think we're maxing out
124
00:03:48,614 --> 00:03:49,740
at the same weight at the gym.
125
00:03:49,824 --> 00:03:52,274
Oh, Terry. They're just numbers.
You'll get there.
126
00:03:53,243 --> 00:03:54,577
Hey. There you are.
127
00:03:54,661 --> 00:03:56,287
And, oh, my God. What is happening?
128
00:03:56,371 --> 00:03:59,290
I've gotten mad, and
now I'm getting even.
129
00:03:59,374 --> 00:04:01,208
Okay, look. Sir, I know you're upset.
130
00:04:01,292 --> 00:04:04,044
But you need to stay calm
and treat this like any other case.
131
00:04:04,128 --> 00:04:05,171
I mean, I can't believe
I'm gonna say this,
132
00:04:05,255 --> 00:04:07,047
but now is not the
time to go all John Wick.
133
00:04:07,131 --> 00:04:09,049
Who's that? A friend of yours?
[SCOFFS] I wish.
134
00:04:09,133 --> 00:04:10,176
But he's not a real person.
135
00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:11,677
He's a movie assassin that
goes nuts when someone
136
00:04:11,761 --> 00:04:12,762
messes with his dog.
137
00:04:12,846 --> 00:04:15,514
Then call me John Wicks
because I'm about to go nuts.
138
00:04:15,598 --> 00:04:18,225
It's Wick.
Singular, and you already did go nuts.
139
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,942
It cost us the trace, remember?
140
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,061
Look, I need you to focus.
The kidnapper texted his demands.
141
00:04:22,145 --> 00:04:24,189
How much does the bastard
want for my little doggy?
142
00:04:24,273 --> 00:04:25,398
Oh, that's just it.
He doesn't want money.
143
00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:27,942
He requested all the files
we worked from May 2004.
144
00:04:28,026 --> 00:04:29,027
It's a lead.
145
00:04:29,152 --> 00:04:30,653
He's gotta be connected to
one of those cases somehow.
146
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:31,738
Interesting.
147
00:04:32,155 --> 00:04:33,573
You know what else is interesting? Hmm?
148
00:04:33,657 --> 00:04:34,657
Grenades.
149
00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:35,742
Just please, stop it.
150
00:04:35,826 --> 00:04:37,619
I'm gonna take Kevin to the park
where Cheddar was kidnapped
151
00:04:37,703 --> 00:04:40,121
and look for clues. I need you to
stay here, go through those files
152
00:04:40,205 --> 00:04:41,998
and put together a list
of potential suspects.
153
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,667
Can you do that? Okay, fine.
154
00:04:44,126 --> 00:04:45,877
I'll go through the files. Great.
155
00:04:47,837 --> 00:04:50,088
You realize I can't leave until
you put the grenades back, right?
156
00:04:50,172 --> 00:04:51,840
Oh, but you let John Wicks have grenades?
157
00:04:51,924 --> 00:04:53,926
It's Wick. Singular.
158
00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:55,428
Just put 'em back.
159
00:04:58,055 --> 00:04:59,973
Okay, Kevin.
We need to recreate your morning
160
00:05:00,057 --> 00:05:01,225
and see if we can find some clues.
161
00:05:01,309 --> 00:05:03,018
All right.
Cheddar and I entered on the east side
162
00:05:03,102 --> 00:05:04,812
of the park over past those trees.
163
00:05:05,354 --> 00:05:06,730
Oh, how he loved those trees.
164
00:05:06,814 --> 00:05:08,023
Jake, I don't know if I can do this.
165
00:05:08,107 --> 00:05:09,650
Yeah, you can do this.
I'm right here with you.
166
00:05:09,734 --> 00:05:10,734
We're gonna get through it together.
167
00:05:10,818 --> 00:05:12,268
Now let's go. [CLEARS THROAT]
168
00:05:13,945 --> 00:05:16,072
Oh. Hey, Kev, bud.
169
00:05:16,156 --> 00:05:17,240
Couldn't help but
notice that when I said,
170
00:05:17,324 --> 00:05:18,324
"Let's go," you didn't go.
171
00:05:18,408 --> 00:05:19,784
You stayed here and stared at that bench.
172
00:05:19,868 --> 00:05:21,161
Cheddar loved benches.
173
00:05:21,328 --> 00:05:23,228
He'd run up to them, sniff their legs.
174
00:05:23,371 --> 00:05:24,372
Paw at them with his…
175
00:05:24,456 --> 00:05:25,832
Paws. Sure, that's what you paw with.
176
00:05:25,916 --> 00:05:27,500
[CLEARS THROAT] I'm sorry.
This is impossible.
177
00:05:27,584 --> 00:05:29,043
Everything I see reminds me of Cheddar.
178
00:05:29,127 --> 00:05:31,337
The grass, the asphalt, squirrels.
179
00:05:31,421 --> 00:05:33,130
Cheddar loved squirrels. Oh, stop.
180
00:05:33,214 --> 00:05:34,382
He loves to chase them.
181
00:05:34,466 --> 00:05:35,591
I suppose I should say "loved."
182
00:05:35,675 --> 00:05:38,261
He'd never get there. He's like..
. Kevin, stop. All right?
183
00:05:38,345 --> 00:05:40,345
We need to get over to that
gate and recreate your morning.
184
00:05:40,429 --> 00:05:42,013
And if seeing all these
things is too much,
185
00:05:42,097 --> 00:05:44,391
then just focus only on me, all right?
186
00:05:44,475 --> 00:05:45,559
Stare straight into my eyes.
187
00:05:45,643 --> 00:05:48,193
Very good.
I'll stare straight into your eyes. Okay.
188
00:05:48,312 --> 00:05:49,396
Oh, wow. Piercing.
189
00:05:49,605 --> 00:05:51,148
Huh, okay, so let's do this.
190
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,734
And we are headed to the east gate.
191
00:05:53,943 --> 00:05:55,902
We're doing great.
This is working. I can do this.
192
00:05:55,986 --> 00:05:57,028
Here we go. I'm doing it.
193
00:05:57,112 --> 00:05:58,113
You're looking away. No, I'm not.
194
00:05:58,197 --> 00:05:59,197
Stop looking away. I'm not.
195
00:05:59,281 --> 00:06:00,282
Don't look away. But I see leaves.
196
00:06:00,366 --> 00:06:02,033
No! Cheddar loved playing in leaves.
197
00:06:02,117 --> 00:06:03,285
Didn't matter what kind.
198
00:06:03,369 --> 00:06:06,038
Oak, maple, elm… Wait.
199
00:06:06,163 --> 00:06:08,581
I hate to cut you off,
but look what I found.
200
00:06:08,873 --> 00:06:11,000
Security camera.
Cheddar loved security cameras.
201
00:06:11,084 --> 00:06:12,168
How is that possible?
202
00:06:12,835 --> 00:06:14,629
SANTIAGO: Oh, Rosa.
203
00:06:14,754 --> 00:06:16,046
There she is.
204
00:06:16,130 --> 00:06:17,548
The Snoog.
205
00:06:18,091 --> 00:06:20,217
Look at those sexy lines.
206
00:06:20,301 --> 00:06:22,762
Oh, I just wanna get
behind that thing and push.
207
00:06:22,887 --> 00:06:24,179
Aw, man. You're grossing me out.
208
00:06:24,263 --> 00:06:25,264
[GASPS]
209
00:06:25,431 --> 00:06:27,031
What is Teddy doing here? Teddy?
210
00:06:27,183 --> 00:06:28,476
Oh, my gosh. Hey, Amy.
211
00:06:28,601 --> 00:06:30,853
Oh, right. Boring ex-boyfriend Teddy.
Hey, Teddy.
212
00:06:30,937 --> 00:06:32,062
-Hey, Rosa.
-SANTIAGO: What are you doing here?
213
00:06:32,146 --> 00:06:34,689
You promised you would stop
showing up at places to propose to me.
214
00:06:34,773 --> 00:06:36,900
Quit flattering yourself.
I only did that four times.
215
00:06:36,984 --> 00:06:38,276
[LAUGHS] Also, I'm taken now.
216
00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:39,861
I got married, last year,
217
00:06:39,945 --> 00:06:41,795
in the spiciest little city, Phoenix.
218
00:06:41,905 --> 00:06:42,906
Mmm. It was very posh.
219
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:44,699
We served a flight of
large batch pilsners.
220
00:06:44,783 --> 00:06:46,117
I don't know if you remember, but I love…
221
00:06:46,201 --> 00:06:47,201
ALL: Pilsners.
222
00:06:47,285 --> 00:06:48,286
Yeah, we remember.
223
00:06:48,370 --> 00:06:49,704
Yeah, long story short.
We're pregnant now,
224
00:06:49,788 --> 00:06:51,956
and I'm, uh, gonna try to
win this sexy little number.
225
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,708
-Oh, God. Is that what I sound like?
-DIAZ: Yep.
226
00:06:53,792 --> 00:06:55,543
Excuse me?
Are you here for the competition?
227
00:06:55,627 --> 00:06:57,629
Uh, yes. Hi, I'm Teddy Ramos.
228
00:06:57,796 --> 00:06:59,046
Took my wife's last name.
229
00:06:59,548 --> 00:07:00,590
Very brave.
230
00:07:00,881 --> 00:07:01,882
He's the worst.
231
00:07:02,049 --> 00:07:03,509
Hi, I'm Amy Santiago.
232
00:07:03,884 --> 00:07:07,054
I am so sorry, but pregnant
women aren't allowed to compete.
233
00:07:07,346 --> 00:07:09,046
Not after what happened last year.
234
00:07:12,226 --> 00:07:13,769
Are you gonna say what happened?
235
00:07:13,853 --> 00:07:15,228
It's part of the settlement. We can't.
236
00:07:15,312 --> 00:07:18,399
Okay. Well, uh, good news.
237
00:07:18,774 --> 00:07:21,944
I'm not pregnant.
I just had a huge lunch.
238
00:07:22,111 --> 00:07:23,362
I'm so sorry. I just can't.
239
00:07:23,446 --> 00:07:24,905
All right. I'll compete for her.
240
00:07:24,989 --> 00:07:26,115
What? You will?
241
00:07:26,282 --> 00:07:28,032
But I know you think
these strollers are dumb.
242
00:07:28,116 --> 00:07:30,242
They are.
But I can't let that boring bastard win.
243
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:32,620
So we decided to paint
the baby room white.
244
00:07:32,912 --> 00:07:34,372
I mean, you used to have sex with him.
245
00:07:34,456 --> 00:07:35,582
I know.
246
00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:39,126
Charles, this Boyle
bone broth is incredible.
247
00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:40,795
I'm not sore at all anymore.
248
00:07:40,879 --> 00:07:41,879
I told you it works.
249
00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:44,090
The Boyles used to drink it
during potato digging season
250
00:07:44,174 --> 00:07:45,925
to keep everyone healthy in the furrows.
251
00:07:46,009 --> 00:07:47,802
You know, I bet we could sell this stuff.
252
00:07:47,886 --> 00:07:49,054
You really think so?
253
00:07:49,179 --> 00:07:50,930
[GASPS] We can call our
company "The Bone Boys."
254
00:07:51,014 --> 00:07:52,974
No! "More Bone, Less Moan."
255
00:07:53,058 --> 00:07:55,017
No! "Workplace Bone Buds."
256
00:07:55,101 --> 00:07:56,393
That's the one. I'm registering it.
257
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,395
Uh, we can name the company later.
258
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,397
Anyway, I know just who to pitch this to.
259
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:02,524
My buddy who invented Muscle Malt.
260
00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:05,276
[GASPS] This is great!
We're the perfect partners.
261
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,070
When it comes to cooking, you got me.
262
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,322
When it comes to being
ripped, you also have me.
263
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,615
And you have a little connection.
264
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,701
We're gonna be rich. [LAUGHS]
265
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:13,911
Sir, we're back.
266
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,245
Did you find anything in the case files?
267
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:16,413
Yes. Most of them were useless,
268
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:17,597
but one caught my eye.
269
00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:20,792
On May 15th, 2004, detectives
arrested Frank Kingston,
270
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:22,334
leader of the 16th Street Gang.
271
00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:24,628
Thanks to the testimony
of a confidential informant,
272
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,881
Kingston served 16 years.
273
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,424
He just got out last month.
274
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,050
And you think he wants
the file to figure out
275
00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:32,219
which one of his guys
turned on him to get revenge.
276
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:33,887
It's a Vendetta.
[IN ITALIAN ACCENT] Vendetta.
277
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:34,972
Sure.
278
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,850
So now I know who the
sumbitch is who took my dog.
279
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:41,311
The only problem is, I have no
idea where to find that sumbitch.
280
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:42,771
Well, Raymond, I think
we can help you find
281
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:43,856
that sumbitch. Jake?
282
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,190
Sumbitch. We all got to say it.
283
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,316
Let me show you what we found.
284
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,152
A security camera grabbed
some footage of Cheddar
285
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,653
being picked up and put into a car
286
00:08:50,737 --> 00:08:52,405
which was registered to an
anonymous shell company
287
00:08:52,489 --> 00:08:53,489
on Dean Street.
288
00:08:53,573 --> 00:08:55,200
We can be there in 15 minutes.
289
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:57,119
That's weird. It's sunny outside.
290
00:08:57,869 --> 00:08:58,911
Why is that weird?
291
00:08:58,995 --> 00:09:02,123
Because a [BLEEP] storm is
about to rain down on that punk.
292
00:09:02,207 --> 00:09:04,792
Oh, my God!
I fell for it, and I loved it.
293
00:09:04,876 --> 00:09:06,878
All right, let's gear up.
Kevin, you stay here.
294
00:09:06,962 --> 00:09:09,262
And don't worry.
We're gonna get your dog back.
295
00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:11,550
So we did not get your dog back.
296
00:09:11,675 --> 00:09:13,176
Unfortunately, he wasn't here.
297
00:09:13,885 --> 00:09:15,928
No, no, no. I think Captain
Holt's taking it really well.
298
00:09:16,012 --> 00:09:17,388
[SCREAMS]
299
00:09:17,638 --> 00:09:18,848
So we'll see you soon.
300
00:09:19,306 --> 00:09:20,557
WOMAN: Wow, five hours.
301
00:09:20,641 --> 00:09:22,517
This is the most exciting
contest we've had.
302
00:09:22,601 --> 00:09:24,311
Of course, the incident
last year was exciting,
303
00:09:24,395 --> 00:09:26,147
but we all know how that ended.
304
00:09:27,565 --> 00:09:28,566
No, we don't.
305
00:09:28,691 --> 00:09:30,067
Right. Because of the gag order.
306
00:09:30,151 --> 00:09:31,152
[SCOFFS]
307
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,361
Are you sure you wanna
keep doing this, Rosa?
308
00:09:33,445 --> 00:09:34,488
You really don't have to.
309
00:09:34,572 --> 00:09:36,656
My feet hurt a little, but I
can go as long as it takes.
310
00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:37,949
We're having a great time back here.
311
00:09:38,033 --> 00:09:40,410
I was just telling my buddy Reggie
here about this great salsa that I make.
312
00:09:40,494 --> 00:09:41,995
It's so mild you barely taste it.
313
00:09:42,079 --> 00:09:44,129
That's it. I can't take anymore. I'm out.
314
00:09:44,414 --> 00:09:46,332
Bye, Reggie. I'll send you
that article about mailboxes.
315
00:09:46,416 --> 00:09:47,466
REGGIE: Please don't!
316
00:09:47,584 --> 00:09:50,544
Oh, my God. Teddy is boring
people out of the competition,
317
00:09:50,628 --> 00:09:52,380
and he doesn't even realize it.
318
00:09:52,922 --> 00:09:54,048
Can't let him get to you, Rosa.
319
00:09:54,132 --> 00:09:55,758
It's fine. I can handle boring.
We're friends.
320
00:09:55,842 --> 00:09:58,135
Ooh, guys, you will
never believe who I saw
321
00:09:58,219 --> 00:09:59,619
at Bush Gardens last summer.
322
00:10:00,054 --> 00:10:02,265
My neighbor. Yeah. Just walking around.
323
00:10:02,682 --> 00:10:05,893
The kidnapper said, he would call
with drop instructions at 8 a.m.
324
00:10:05,977 --> 00:10:09,146
It is now 8:01. Cheddar's dead.
325
00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:10,980
Cheddar is not dead.
It's just one minute.
326
00:10:11,064 --> 00:10:12,732
Perhaps the kidnapper's watch is slow.
327
00:10:12,816 --> 00:10:14,567
Oh, dear God. If his watch is slow,
328
00:10:14,651 --> 00:10:16,611
there's no telling what else
this psychopath is capable of.
329
00:10:16,695 --> 00:10:18,071
KEVIN: Raymond, Cheddar is fine.
330
00:10:18,155 --> 00:10:19,155
He's coming back to us
331
00:10:19,239 --> 00:10:22,117
and that is why I bought a
new GPS tag to put on his collar.
332
00:10:22,201 --> 00:10:24,536
Thank you, Kevin.
At least some of us are thinking clearly.
333
00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:25,954
KEVIN: Yes, crystal clear.
334
00:10:26,038 --> 00:10:27,455
In fact I bought five GPS tags.
335
00:10:27,539 --> 00:10:29,624
One for his collar and
one for each arm and leg.
336
00:10:29,708 --> 00:10:31,584
I'm going to make
bracelets to put them on,
337
00:10:31,668 --> 00:10:33,294
and I'll never lose my Cheddar again.
338
00:10:33,378 --> 00:10:35,463
Okay, a little unsettling,
but I like your positivity.
339
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:37,298
-[CELL PHONE BUZZING]
-HOLT: Three minutes after 8:00.
340
00:10:37,382 --> 00:10:38,507
This man is unhinged.
341
00:10:38,758 --> 00:10:39,758
You said you'd call at 8:00.
342
00:10:39,842 --> 00:10:41,009
VOICE [DISTORTED]: My watch is slow.
343
00:10:41,093 --> 00:10:43,011
Put the files on a flash
drive and have your husband
344
00:10:43,095 --> 00:10:45,848
bring it to the 9th Street
entrance of Prospect Park at noon.
345
00:10:45,932 --> 00:10:47,141
My husband? No.
346
00:10:47,433 --> 00:10:48,684
I'm not involving him in this.
347
00:10:48,768 --> 00:10:50,602
-I'll bring them myself.
-I don't trust you.
348
00:10:50,686 --> 00:10:52,146
I told you not to look
for me, but you did.
349
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:53,772
Send your husband or the deal is off.
350
00:10:53,856 --> 00:10:54,857
[LINE DISCONNECTS]
351
00:10:54,982 --> 00:10:56,150
Clearly, we're not doing this.
352
00:10:56,234 --> 00:10:58,861
No, it's fine. We can just alter
the files and give him fakes.
353
00:10:58,945 --> 00:11:00,195
-He'll never know.
-HOLT: It's not that.
354
00:11:00,279 --> 00:11:02,322
It's that I refuse to put
Kevin in harm's way.
355
00:11:02,406 --> 00:11:05,324
Understood, but I think
maybe I have a way
356
00:11:05,408 --> 00:11:08,411
to put Kevin in danger
without putting Kevin in danger.
357
00:11:08,495 --> 00:11:09,829
[IMPERSONATING]
Well, hello there, Raymond.
358
00:11:09,913 --> 00:11:11,248
It's me, Kevin.
359
00:11:11,456 --> 00:11:13,291
[FLATLY] And I am
Detective Jacob Peralta.
360
00:11:13,375 --> 00:11:15,960
We didn't have anything else
to wear, so we just switched.
361
00:11:16,044 --> 00:11:17,045
He understands.
362
00:11:20,465 --> 00:11:22,509
Okay. If we're gonna pull this off,
363
00:11:22,634 --> 00:11:26,638
we need to teach you how to
move, talk, and act exactly like Kevin.
364
00:11:26,763 --> 00:11:28,931
In other words we have
ourselves a "Pygmalion" situation.
365
00:11:29,015 --> 00:11:31,392
Exactly, a "pig mailman" situation.
366
00:11:31,476 --> 00:11:32,559
Raymond. It'll be okay.
367
00:11:32,643 --> 00:11:34,352
What'll be okay? Let's get started.
368
00:11:34,436 --> 00:11:36,563
[IMPERSONATING] Yes!
Let's get started. It's getting worse.
369
00:11:36,647 --> 00:11:37,647
Spot on Kevin.
370
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,858
Look, Raymond. A yellow crested warbler.
371
00:11:39,942 --> 00:11:42,068
Look, Raymond. A yellow crested warbler.
372
00:11:42,152 --> 00:11:43,278
No, you're too excited.
373
00:11:43,362 --> 00:11:44,988
The warbler's a common bird. Ah.
374
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:48,575
And then I said, "Which 'Metamorphosis'?
Kafka or Ovid?"
375
00:11:48,659 --> 00:11:49,743
[LAUGHS]
376
00:11:49,827 --> 00:11:51,453
He loves it. He loves it.
377
00:11:51,537 --> 00:11:53,663
[SIGHS] So that's the joke.
Now you tell it.
378
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:54,831
Oh, okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
379
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:57,542
So a professor walks in
to a rare books collection…
380
00:11:57,626 --> 00:11:59,835
No, you've ruined it. Now it's not funny.
381
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:04,173
Look, Raymond. A yellow crested warbler.
382
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,008
HOLT: Ugh, not excited enough.
383
00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:07,968
They may be common,
but they're still birds.
384
00:12:08,052 --> 00:12:09,887
The 92nd Street Y had
a wonderful symposium
385
00:12:09,971 --> 00:12:11,264
on just that topic.
386
00:12:11,514 --> 00:12:12,964
That's it. You're getting it.
387
00:12:13,141 --> 00:12:14,725
Ah, cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool, cool.
388
00:12:14,809 --> 00:12:16,936
Don't say "cool," instead, say "indeed."
389
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:19,439
Oh, indeed, indeed,
indeed, indeed, indeed.
390
00:12:19,897 --> 00:12:20,898
It's weird.
391
00:12:20,982 --> 00:12:23,359
Look, Raymond. A yellow crested warbler.
392
00:12:23,484 --> 00:12:24,735
Yes!
393
00:12:24,819 --> 00:12:27,028
That's the right level of
excitement for such a bird.
394
00:12:27,112 --> 00:12:29,781
You captured the essence of Kevin.
You've done it.
395
00:12:29,865 --> 00:12:32,283
Correction, I've accomplished it.
396
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:33,534
Indeed. Indeed.
397
00:12:33,618 --> 00:12:34,702
Indeed, indeed, indeed, indeed.
398
00:12:34,786 --> 00:12:36,913
ALL: Indeed, indeed, indeed,
indeed, indeed, indeed.
399
00:12:36,997 --> 00:12:38,123
It's growing on me.
400
00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:41,084
Oh, my God! Rosa?
401
00:12:41,168 --> 00:12:43,045
I can't believe you're still here.
402
00:12:43,253 --> 00:12:44,754
I can't believe Teddy looks so normal.
403
00:12:44,838 --> 00:12:47,548
I'm gonna win you that Snoo.
Slog. Snat, whatever.
404
00:12:47,632 --> 00:12:49,384
My brain is broken.
I haven't slept in 72 hours.
405
00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:51,094
You've only been doing
the competition for one night.
406
00:12:51,178 --> 00:12:53,096
I mean, you're allowed to
not sleep for other reasons.
407
00:12:53,180 --> 00:12:55,973
Okay. I got you a coffee. Oh, thank you.
408
00:12:56,098 --> 00:12:58,348
Just need to put my
left hand on the stroller.
409
00:12:59,185 --> 00:13:00,560
My right hand grabs the cup.
410
00:13:00,644 --> 00:13:01,896
My mouth do the sipping.
411
00:13:02,021 --> 00:13:03,397
What's happening?
412
00:13:03,481 --> 00:13:06,483
My broken brain won't talk to
my body, so I'm doing it. Blink.
413
00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:08,527
Rosa, you don't have to do this.
You can stop.
414
00:13:08,611 --> 00:13:10,196
Snarl at Amy. [SNARLS]
415
00:13:10,404 --> 00:13:11,947
Teddy and I are the only ones left.
416
00:13:12,031 --> 00:13:13,991
I'm gonna win this no matter how
much he talks about light rail systems.
417
00:13:14,075 --> 00:13:16,034
Ooh, you should ride the
one in Akron, by the way.
418
00:13:16,118 --> 00:13:17,119
Very little noise.
419
00:13:17,203 --> 00:13:19,788
Oh, my God! Enough about light rails.
Let's talk trams.
420
00:13:19,872 --> 00:13:21,080
Amusement parks get it.
I can't, I can't, I can't…
421
00:13:21,164 --> 00:13:22,415
If most cities adopted
amusement park method…
422
00:13:22,499 --> 00:13:24,667
Oh, put your hands over your ears.
423
00:13:25,001 --> 00:13:26,002
Oh, no. Wait, Rosa.
424
00:13:26,086 --> 00:13:28,254
Hands are off. We have a winner.
425
00:13:28,338 --> 00:13:29,672
-[BUZZER SOUNDS]
-Me?
426
00:13:29,881 --> 00:13:32,384
[SIGHS] I won the stroller.
Whoo-hoo! [LAUGHS]
427
00:13:32,592 --> 00:13:33,884
Oh, I see what I did wrong.
428
00:13:33,968 --> 00:13:35,761
It's okay. Come on, let's get you home.
429
00:13:35,845 --> 00:13:37,305
Excuse me. Amy?
430
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,598
You can have the
stroller for the right price.
431
00:13:39,682 --> 00:13:40,892
Okay. How much?
432
00:13:43,103 --> 00:13:44,437
Amy Santiago, will you marry me?
433
00:13:44,521 --> 00:13:45,814
No!
434
00:13:46,106 --> 00:13:47,565
Okay, I'm approaching the drop site.
435
00:13:47,649 --> 00:13:48,690
I don't see anything unusual.
436
00:13:48,774 --> 00:13:50,275
We have eyes on you.
437
00:13:50,359 --> 00:13:52,486
-Just be natural.
-PERALTA: Indeed, I will.
438
00:13:52,611 --> 00:13:54,988
Oh, look, a yellow crested warbler.
439
00:13:55,114 --> 00:13:56,114
Very good.
440
00:13:56,198 --> 00:13:57,449
-[CELL PHONE RINGING]
-He's calling.
441
00:13:57,533 --> 00:13:59,159
Wait, Kevin, we didn't go over
how you answer the phone.
442
00:13:59,243 --> 00:14:00,660
HOLT: There isn't time. Just answer.
443
00:14:00,744 --> 00:14:01,745
Okay.
444
00:14:01,829 --> 00:14:03,705
You've reached Professor Kevin Cozner.
445
00:14:03,789 --> 00:14:06,239
Please start speaking
when I finish this sentence.
446
00:14:06,458 --> 00:14:09,210
VOICE [DISTORTED]: Pick up the
book on the bench and head south.
447
00:14:09,294 --> 00:14:10,295
He hung up.
448
00:14:11,380 --> 00:14:13,530
And he had me pick up
a copy of The Tempest.
449
00:14:13,882 --> 00:14:15,299
Oh, no, Raymond. Do you know
450
00:14:15,383 --> 00:14:16,383
what's happening in the park today?
451
00:14:16,467 --> 00:14:17,593
The Shakespeare Festival
452
00:14:17,677 --> 00:14:19,553
which will be attended by…
453
00:14:19,637 --> 00:14:21,055
Guys, I'm in a sea of Kevins.
454
00:14:21,139 --> 00:14:22,557
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
455
00:14:23,599 --> 00:14:26,018
Okay, between us, I think
we made enough broth.
456
00:14:26,144 --> 00:14:28,020
Did you edit the
presentation like I asked?
457
00:14:28,104 --> 00:14:30,856
You mean, did I remove the
tasteful photos of me stretching?
458
00:14:30,940 --> 00:14:33,150
They weren't tasteful.
You were in a thong.
459
00:14:33,234 --> 00:14:34,235
[CELL PHONE BUZZING]
460
00:14:34,986 --> 00:14:37,613
All right, Muscle Malt
Kenneth is on his way up.
461
00:14:37,738 --> 00:14:40,700
Hey, I just wanna say, no
matter how this turns out,
462
00:14:41,033 --> 00:14:43,034
it was really fun
working on this with you.
463
00:14:43,118 --> 00:14:46,288
Aw, Terry, it's gotta turn out well.
I invested $11,000 in it.
464
00:14:46,496 --> 00:14:47,914
$11,000!
465
00:14:48,039 --> 00:14:50,041
It only cost 30 bucks to make the broth.
466
00:14:50,125 --> 00:14:53,002
Yeah, but it cost $11,000
to buy the domain name.
467
00:14:53,086 --> 00:14:55,338
Workplacebonebuds.com. I am all in.
468
00:14:55,464 --> 00:14:57,673
Boyle, why in the
world would you do that?
469
00:14:57,757 --> 00:15:00,802
You are such a…
An amazing business partner.
470
00:15:00,886 --> 00:15:02,678
Kenneth, I'd like you to meet my amazing
471
00:15:02,762 --> 00:15:03,930
business partner, Charles.
472
00:15:04,014 --> 00:15:05,015
Hey. Hello.
473
00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:06,307
I'm excited to see what
you guys have here.
474
00:15:06,391 --> 00:15:10,060
Well then, take a sip, and feel
the soreness start to drain away.
475
00:15:10,478 --> 00:15:11,479
[JEFFORDS CHUCKLES]
476
00:15:12,813 --> 00:15:15,316
[SLURPS] Mmm. It's good. Very tasty.
477
00:15:15,441 --> 00:15:17,151
Not only is it delicious,
478
00:15:17,276 --> 00:15:19,820
it's high on amino
acids and low in sodium.
479
00:15:19,904 --> 00:15:21,780
Well, not exactly low in sodium.
480
00:15:21,864 --> 00:15:23,031
It definitely has salt in it.
481
00:15:23,115 --> 00:15:25,075
Not in the batch I made. I left it out.
482
00:15:25,201 --> 00:15:27,744
Terry doesn't like to get all bloaty.
You left out the salt?
483
00:15:27,828 --> 00:15:30,372
That stops the fermentation.
The salt keeps it stable.
484
00:15:30,456 --> 00:15:32,374
Oh! Ah! God, what is happening?
485
00:15:32,458 --> 00:15:34,508
-They're all gonna blow.
-TERRY: Take cover!
486
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:40,840
So, uh, do we have a deal?
487
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:42,217
[ALL SCREAM]
488
00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:44,093
PERALTA: Still waiting for instructions.
Over.
489
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:45,428
HOLT: Wait. We don't have eyes on you.
490
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,430
Kevin, do you see Jake?
Yes, he's right there.
491
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,473
Oh, no, that's a different gentleman
wearing a handsome jacket.
492
00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:50,850
Everyone is so well dressed.
493
00:15:50,934 --> 00:15:52,560
Peralta, head for the north gate.
494
00:15:52,644 --> 00:15:53,936
We're having trouble finding you.
495
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:56,522
All right, Professor.
I'm assuming you're wearing a wire.
496
00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:57,690
A what?
497
00:15:58,233 --> 00:16:01,277
Ah, yes, a wire.
My husband asked me to wear that.
498
00:16:01,402 --> 00:16:03,196
We lost comms. Something happened.
499
00:16:03,904 --> 00:16:04,905
Cheddar!
500
00:16:05,113 --> 00:16:08,116
Uh, my fluffy boy. I've missed you so.
501
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,826
All right, put up your hands.
I'm gonna tap you down.
502
00:16:09,910 --> 00:16:11,578
There's no need for that.
Here, I have the drive.
503
00:16:11,662 --> 00:16:12,663
Just take it.
504
00:16:13,330 --> 00:16:15,624
Thanks. I'm still gonna pat you down.
505
00:16:15,749 --> 00:16:18,042
Be my guest, but you're
not gonna find anything.
506
00:16:18,126 --> 00:16:19,670
Here's a gun. Whoops.
507
00:16:21,129 --> 00:16:23,298
And another gun.
I forgot about that one too.
508
00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:25,383
So, the Professor's got two guns on him,
509
00:16:25,467 --> 00:16:27,344
and he's wearing a fake beard.
510
00:16:27,511 --> 00:16:29,304
Oh, please don't rip it off.
It hurts so much.
511
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:31,338
I think the Professor's actually a cop.
512
00:16:31,514 --> 00:16:33,140
Something tells me I
should check that drive.
513
00:16:33,224 --> 00:16:34,641
There's a laptop in the front seat.
Get it.
514
00:16:34,725 --> 00:16:37,019
If these files aren't the real
deal, you and the dog are dead.
515
00:16:37,103 --> 00:16:38,563
Oh, no need to worry,
516
00:16:38,813 --> 00:16:41,482
because everything is on the
level and will be completely fine.
517
00:16:41,566 --> 00:16:42,567
[GRUNTS]
518
00:16:42,858 --> 00:16:44,610
Cheddar, go! Go, boy!
519
00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:45,861
Hey, cop.
520
00:16:47,572 --> 00:16:49,122
Would you like to buy a laptop?
521
00:16:51,784 --> 00:16:53,076
There's no sign of Peralta out here.
522
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,412
Did you hear anything on the wire?
No, it never came back on.
523
00:16:55,496 --> 00:16:56,622
Do you think he's okay? Shh.
524
00:16:56,706 --> 00:16:58,039
What? Do you hear it?
525
00:16:58,123 --> 00:16:59,373
-[BELL JINGLES]
-Yes, I do.
526
00:16:59,457 --> 00:17:00,750
That's the jingle of Cheddar's collar.
527
00:17:00,834 --> 00:17:02,252
-[BARKS]
-And that's his bark!
528
00:17:03,128 --> 00:17:04,963
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING]
529
00:17:05,505 --> 00:17:07,549
Oh, it's our fluffy boy!
530
00:17:08,508 --> 00:17:09,634
Good dog.
531
00:17:10,051 --> 00:17:11,093
Good dog.
532
00:17:11,177 --> 00:17:13,677
Oh, Mr. Cheddar, how I've missed you.
We both have.
533
00:17:13,763 --> 00:17:16,015
I'm putting that GPS tag
on your collar immediately.
534
00:17:16,099 --> 00:17:17,141
Oh, damn it, it's not here.
535
00:17:17,225 --> 00:17:18,226
I'm wearing Peralta's pants.
536
00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:20,061
Ugh, and now my hands are sticky.
537
00:17:20,145 --> 00:17:23,022
Wait, so Peralta's wearing
your pants, which means…
538
00:17:23,106 --> 00:17:24,148
He doesn't have sticky hands.
539
00:17:24,232 --> 00:17:26,274
Yes, but also, he has the GPS tracker.
540
00:17:26,358 --> 00:17:27,359
[GASPS]
541
00:17:28,736 --> 00:17:32,197
Hey, so given the fact that
you haven't slept in forever,
542
00:17:32,281 --> 00:17:33,365
I feel like I should drive you home.
543
00:17:33,449 --> 00:17:34,950
I'm not going home. I'm going out.
544
00:17:35,034 --> 00:17:36,869
What? Really? What is your life?
545
00:17:36,994 --> 00:17:38,161
It's pretty good actually.
546
00:17:38,245 --> 00:17:39,621
Huh. By the way, I'm sorry
547
00:17:39,705 --> 00:17:40,872
that I I didn't win you that stroller.
548
00:17:40,956 --> 00:17:42,457
No, no, no. You were right.
549
00:17:42,541 --> 00:17:45,877
I don't need a Snoog.
It's way too fancy. It is stupid.
550
00:17:45,961 --> 00:17:47,629
It's not stupid.
I said you didn't need it
551
00:17:47,713 --> 00:17:48,713
because I already bought you a stroller
552
00:17:48,797 --> 00:17:49,798
for your shower this weekend.
553
00:17:49,882 --> 00:17:51,884
It's just isn't as fancy and I felt bad.
554
00:17:52,343 --> 00:17:55,845
Rosa, I would love any stroller you
got me because it came from you.
555
00:17:56,054 --> 00:17:57,096
It's a Luftroller.
556
00:17:58,806 --> 00:18:00,600
Oh, that is…
557
00:18:01,184 --> 00:18:03,477
That is a great stroller.
I got you a gift receipt.
558
00:18:03,561 --> 00:18:04,562
Thank you so much.
559
00:18:05,521 --> 00:18:07,690
I cleaned as much as I
could but I think that couch
560
00:18:07,774 --> 00:18:09,400
is gonna smell like
bone broth for a while.
561
00:18:09,484 --> 00:18:10,818
So, did you talk to your friend?
562
00:18:10,902 --> 00:18:12,778
Any chance he'll reconsider investing?
563
00:18:12,862 --> 00:18:14,447
Yeah, that's not happening.
564
00:18:14,572 --> 00:18:16,824
He said that was the
most scared he's ever been.
565
00:18:16,908 --> 00:18:18,826
And he was on that plane
that landed on the Hudson.
566
00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:19,909
I guess that's it.
567
00:18:19,993 --> 00:18:22,412
I'm never gonna make my $11,000 back.
568
00:18:22,496 --> 00:18:24,790
Actually, I called
another guy from my gym.
569
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:26,291
He wants to buy the domain
570
00:18:26,375 --> 00:18:29,335
workplacebonebuds.com off of you.
That's amazing.
571
00:18:29,419 --> 00:18:31,004
I can't believe you found someone else
572
00:18:31,088 --> 00:18:33,381
who runs a bone broth
company with a coworker.
573
00:18:33,465 --> 00:18:34,924
What are the odds? No.
574
00:18:35,008 --> 00:18:37,051
Obviously, he wants to make a website
575
00:18:37,135 --> 00:18:39,387
that helps people hook
up with their coworkers.
576
00:18:39,471 --> 00:18:40,722
I don't see it. Charles!
577
00:18:40,847 --> 00:18:42,974
It's called workplacebonebuds.com.
578
00:18:43,058 --> 00:18:44,976
All I hear is friendship and broth.
579
00:18:45,102 --> 00:18:46,519
But yeah, I mean he
wants to burn his money,
580
00:18:46,603 --> 00:18:49,453
I'll light the match.
Yeah, tell him to call me. His loss.
581
00:18:50,064 --> 00:18:51,481
So, what's your plan here, Kingston?
582
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:52,566
You gonna torture me?
583
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,443
You gonna put my beard
back on and rip it off again?
584
00:18:54,527 --> 00:18:56,194
No, I'm gonna cut
each one of your fingers
585
00:18:56,278 --> 00:18:57,928
until you tell me who the rat is.
586
00:18:58,197 --> 00:18:59,656
I see. Well, that's bad news,
587
00:18:59,740 --> 00:19:01,533
because I don't know who the rat is,
588
00:19:01,617 --> 00:19:03,285
and I need all my fingers
if I'm gonna beat Wario.
589
00:19:03,369 --> 00:19:04,369
You can't beat Wario?
590
00:19:04,453 --> 00:19:05,454
You can? How do you do it?
591
00:19:05,538 --> 00:19:07,039
It's simple.
When he's approaching, you just tap the…
592
00:19:07,123 --> 00:19:08,124
[ALARM BLARING]
593
00:19:08,249 --> 00:19:09,499
Damn it! Motion detector.
594
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,668
I'm sorry. What do you tap?
Get up. Let's go.
595
00:19:11,752 --> 00:19:13,379
Kingston, what do you tap?
596
00:19:13,713 --> 00:19:14,879
What do you tap?
597
00:19:16,005 --> 00:19:17,674
NYPD! NYPD!
598
00:19:17,841 --> 00:19:19,175
Split up. Cover the exits.
599
00:19:19,342 --> 00:19:20,442
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
600
00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:23,220
Freeze!
601
00:19:23,304 --> 00:19:24,639
Captain! Captain!
602
00:19:24,723 --> 00:19:26,141
HOLT: He's not getting away.
603
00:19:26,349 --> 00:19:28,184
He took my dog!
604
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,311
Oh, my God! It's happening.
605
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:31,646
[GRUNTING]
606
00:19:31,730 --> 00:19:32,731
[GUNSHOT]
607
00:19:32,897 --> 00:19:34,065
[BOTH GRUNTING]
608
00:19:36,025 --> 00:19:37,569
[TIRES SCREECHING]
609
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:44,783
[GRUNTS]
610
00:19:45,534 --> 00:19:47,119
Oh, I see you have a knife.
611
00:19:47,327 --> 00:19:49,621
But what you need is an umbrella.
612
00:19:49,705 --> 00:19:51,373
Tell him why. Tell him why.
613
00:19:51,498 --> 00:19:56,336
Because there's a [BLEEP] storm
gonna rain down on you, punk.
614
00:19:56,837 --> 00:19:58,130
[BOTH GRUNTING]
615
00:20:00,549 --> 00:20:02,009
[BOTH GRUNTING]
616
00:20:03,218 --> 00:20:04,261
PERALTA: Ooh.
617
00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:10,474
My goodness.
618
00:20:10,558 --> 00:20:11,976
[GRUNTING CONTINUES]
619
00:20:21,527 --> 00:20:22,528
[WHOOPING]
620
00:20:22,695 --> 00:20:23,738
[BOTH GRUNTING]
621
00:20:27,033 --> 00:20:28,075
[HOLT YELLING]
622
00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:36,708
You took the wrong fluffy boy!
623
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,086
[SIRENS APPROACHING]
624
00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:44,424
-[GRUNTS] He's done. Cuff him.
-OFFICER: Yes, sir.
625
00:20:47,761 --> 00:20:50,680
That was the single coolest
thing that has ever happened.
626
00:20:50,764 --> 00:20:51,765
Relax, Peralta.
627
00:20:51,890 --> 00:20:53,725
That wasn't even the
coolest thing I've ever done.
628
00:20:53,809 --> 00:20:55,810
What have you done that's cooler?
It was the '80s.
629
00:20:55,894 --> 00:20:57,145
It was nothing.
I mean, they made a movie out of it,
630
00:20:57,229 --> 00:20:58,229
but whatever.
631
00:20:58,313 --> 00:20:59,314
What? What movie?
632
00:20:59,481 --> 00:21:00,481
I don't remember the title.
633
00:21:00,565 --> 00:21:02,108
Uh, there was a crime on a plane,
634
00:21:02,192 --> 00:21:03,191
I was a passenger.
635
00:21:03,275 --> 00:21:04,359
Was it Passenger 57?
636
00:21:04,443 --> 00:21:05,444
I honestly don't know.
637
00:21:05,528 --> 00:21:06,987
It had to have been.
Just say it was that.
638
00:21:07,071 --> 00:21:08,071
You know, Peralta,
639
00:21:08,155 --> 00:21:09,823
sometimes I don't understand the words
640
00:21:09,907 --> 00:21:11,032
coming out of your mouth.
641
00:21:11,116 --> 00:21:13,118
Oh, my God! Was it Rush Hour? What? No.
642
00:21:13,244 --> 00:21:15,294
You know what? I'm too old for this crap.
643
00:21:16,622 --> 00:21:17,998
It was Lethal Weapon?
644
00:21:18,457 --> 00:21:20,376
Sir, are you Murtaugh?
645
00:21:21,669 --> 00:21:22,878
Does that make me Riggs?
646
00:21:24,588 --> 00:21:26,340
I am Riggs!
48522
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