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1
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:07,873
I'm here! I'm here, I'm here.
2
00:00:08,415 --> 00:00:10,041
[EXHALES] You can start the meeting now.
3
00:00:10,125 --> 00:00:12,042
The meeting is over.
You're late. You missed roll call
4
00:00:12,126 --> 00:00:14,545
and the tutorial on
using the new copiers.
5
00:00:14,629 --> 00:00:16,587
Six years, and no matter how hard I try,
6
00:00:16,671 --> 00:00:18,548
I still can't get you to understand
the importance of being punctual.
7
00:00:18,632 --> 00:00:20,174
Maybe you should just give
up and accept me for who I am?
8
00:00:20,258 --> 00:00:22,509
No, I will break you. Right now.
9
00:00:22,593 --> 00:00:24,136
Oh. While you were out being tardy,
10
00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:26,512
I was hard at work devising
a special punishment.
11
00:00:26,596 --> 00:00:29,264
I've crafted an intricate,
personal high-five
12
00:00:29,348 --> 00:00:31,433
-with everyone in this office except you.
-PERALTA: What?
13
00:00:31,517 --> 00:00:34,768
But you hate high fives.
Yes, every minute of it was hell.
14
00:00:34,852 --> 00:00:37,052
But it'll be worse for you.
Squad, dismissed.
15
00:00:37,730 --> 00:00:38,772
Goodbye, Diaz.
16
00:00:40,482 --> 00:00:41,858
Salute into a fanny waggle?
17
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:42,983
Goodbye, Boyle.
18
00:00:43,067 --> 00:00:44,151
[GROANS] The snake charmer!
19
00:00:44,235 --> 00:00:45,435
HOLT: Goodbye, Jeffords.
20
00:00:47,112 --> 00:00:49,262
-That's a butt bump.
-HOLT: Goodbye, Santiago.
21
00:00:49,572 --> 00:00:53,032
PERALTA: Double fist bump reverse
explosion into a Pete Townshend strum.
22
00:00:53,116 --> 00:00:54,242
[SIGHS]
23
00:00:54,326 --> 00:00:56,827
That was terrible, but it's over
now, and I made it through.
24
00:00:56,911 --> 00:00:58,036
Goodbye, Leonard from Xerox.
25
00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:59,956
What? No, no, no.
26
00:01:00,497 --> 00:01:01,622
The copy guy?
27
00:01:01,706 --> 00:01:03,750
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
28
00:01:21,764 --> 00:01:24,599
So nice of you to stop by, Kevin.
Enjoy your day. I hope it's productive.
29
00:01:24,683 --> 00:01:27,533
Thank you, Raymond.
I hope your day is productive as well.
30
00:01:28,102 --> 00:01:30,520
PDA in the office? My, my.
Couldn't help myself.
31
00:01:30,604 --> 00:01:34,356
Mmm. Oh, may I please use the
precinct facilities before I head to work?
32
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:35,566
Yes. Thank you for asking for permission.
33
00:01:35,650 --> 00:01:37,109
Thank you for granting it.
34
00:01:39,736 --> 00:01:40,862
[SIGHS]
35
00:01:41,612 --> 00:01:43,573
Whoomp. There it is.
36
00:01:43,906 --> 00:01:45,823
Got to say, I could have used a
little more oomph on the whoomp.
37
00:01:45,907 --> 00:01:47,074
That's the oomphiest whoomp you'll get.
38
00:01:47,158 --> 00:01:48,451
So, what's going on?
Why'd you want to meet in private?
39
00:01:48,535 --> 00:01:49,534
I need your help with a case.
40
00:01:49,618 --> 00:01:52,120
Three antique coins were stolen from
my Classics Department at Columbia.
41
00:01:52,204 --> 00:01:53,996
So, why not ask Captain
Holt for help on the case?
42
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,749
Wait, are you guys getting a divorce?
I can handle it.
43
00:01:56,833 --> 00:01:59,000
[VOICE BREAKING] This doesn't
bring up any weird issues for me.
44
00:01:59,084 --> 00:02:01,127
No, it's nothing like that.
Raymond's a brilliant detective.
45
00:02:01,211 --> 00:02:02,629
It's just when a case involves me,
46
00:02:02,713 --> 00:02:04,546
he can get a little overemotional.
47
00:02:04,630 --> 00:02:07,257
You remember the safe house.
Oh, yeah, he went crazy.
48
00:02:07,341 --> 00:02:09,133
But I also remember you
and me becoming best friends
49
00:02:09,217 --> 00:02:10,760
and watching every Nic
Cage movie ever made.
50
00:02:10,844 --> 00:02:13,136
Can you still quote them all?
No, I purged myself of that nonsense.
51
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,429
I bet it's still in there. It's not.
52
00:02:14,513 --> 00:02:16,263
We'll see. There's a chance it's in there.
We won't. Chance of zero.
53
00:02:16,347 --> 00:02:17,973
I'd put money that maybe it's there.
54
00:02:18,057 --> 00:02:19,058
You're losing your money. Okay.
55
00:02:19,142 --> 00:02:20,850
So will you help me? I don't know.
56
00:02:20,934 --> 00:02:22,435
I want to, but keeping
a secret from Holt?
57
00:02:22,519 --> 00:02:23,520
That's a lot of pressure. Hmm.
58
00:02:23,604 --> 00:02:27,147
Am I remembering correctly?
Don't you eat pressure for breakfast?
59
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,982
[GASPS] Nic Cage in The Rock.
60
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,360
-We are best friends. I am so in.
-[DOOR OPENS]
61
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,694
Oh, no, that's Raymond.
That's how he opens a door.
62
00:02:34,778 --> 00:02:35,821
HOLT: Kevin, are you still in here?
63
00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,781
KEVIN: Uh, yes,
Raymond, I'm in the stall.
64
00:02:37,865 --> 00:02:41,492
Uh, some tickets were just released for
Mahler's Fourth Symphony this weekend.
65
00:02:41,576 --> 00:02:42,827
Great. That sounds great. Let's do it.
66
00:02:42,911 --> 00:02:45,078
HOLT: Fantastic.
Now, which section do you prefer?
67
00:02:45,162 --> 00:02:49,248
The first tier, the
second tier, the third tier…
68
00:02:49,332 --> 00:02:50,332
The first tier.
69
00:02:50,416 --> 00:02:52,500
Now, which section of the first tier?
70
00:02:52,584 --> 00:02:55,628
Right, left, right-center,
71
00:02:55,712 --> 00:02:57,838
center… Just any section is fine.
72
00:02:57,922 --> 00:03:00,840
[CHUCKLES] Any section. Well, someone
had pepper on their eggs this morning.
73
00:03:00,924 --> 00:03:02,842
-I'll buy the tickets.
-[KEVIN SIGHS]
74
00:03:02,926 --> 00:03:04,677
[CHUCKLES] Any section.
75
00:03:05,802 --> 00:03:06,970
Guys, horrible news.
76
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:08,972
The fridge broke this morning.
Everything's warm.
77
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:10,138
Doesn't seem like that big a deal.
78
00:03:10,222 --> 00:03:12,015
Your yogurt's spoiled. Who did this?
79
00:03:12,099 --> 00:03:15,810
Okay, everyone, calm down.
I will put a request in for a new fridge.
80
00:03:15,894 --> 00:03:16,978
DIAZ: Good luck getting that approved.
81
00:03:17,062 --> 00:03:19,396
Commissioner Kelly's already slashed
our budget within an inch of its life.
82
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,273
Yeah, the toilet paper's
only one ply now.
83
00:03:21,357 --> 00:03:23,148
My butt hurts all the time.
The AC is broken.
84
00:03:23,232 --> 00:03:24,233
My butt hurts all the time.
85
00:03:24,317 --> 00:03:25,526
Scully's butt hurts all the time.
86
00:03:25,610 --> 00:03:26,610
All right, guys, we get it.
87
00:03:26,694 --> 00:03:28,319
BOYLE: It's just that lunch
is the one part of the day
88
00:03:28,403 --> 00:03:29,988
Commissioner Kelly hadn't ruined.
89
00:03:30,072 --> 00:03:32,281
People are pissed.
Morale's really taken a hit.
90
00:03:32,365 --> 00:03:34,157
Okay, I got this.
91
00:03:34,241 --> 00:03:37,660
Hey, squad. Lunch is on me today.
Taking everyone out for pizza.
92
00:03:37,744 --> 00:03:39,120
[ALL CHEERING]
93
00:03:39,245 --> 00:03:40,872
And that's how you improve morale.
94
00:03:40,956 --> 00:03:44,083
Okay. You're not the only
sergeant around here. Let me help.
95
00:03:44,583 --> 00:03:46,917
This side of the room, lunch is on me,
96
00:03:47,001 --> 00:03:49,420
and we're getting
something better than pizza.
97
00:03:49,504 --> 00:03:50,503
Sushi!
98
00:03:50,587 --> 00:03:51,880
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
99
00:03:52,214 --> 00:03:53,548
Are you trying to outdo me?
100
00:03:53,632 --> 00:03:57,551
No, no, no. Just trying to raise morale.
101
00:03:58,135 --> 00:04:02,471
Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
Morale, morale, morale. Okay.
102
00:04:02,555 --> 00:04:04,764
PERALTA: Wow! So, this is your classroom.
103
00:04:04,848 --> 00:04:06,016
What's today's lecture about?
104
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:08,851
I know you don't care about that.
Just ask me what you want to ask me.
105
00:04:08,935 --> 00:04:10,102
Can I play with your laser pointer?
106
00:04:10,186 --> 00:04:12,770
You know, the laser
pointer is a bit of a misnomer.
107
00:04:12,854 --> 00:04:15,399
It is simply a laser. The pointer is you.
108
00:04:16,316 --> 00:04:17,608
That was awesome. Take it for a spin.
109
00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:18,692
Don't mind if I do.
110
00:04:18,776 --> 00:04:22,862
Good afternoon, class.
Allow me to make my first… Point.
111
00:04:22,946 --> 00:04:25,156
Very impressive.
Thank you very much, Kevin.
112
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,324
But I do have five
additional points to make.
113
00:04:27,408 --> 00:04:30,367
Chair, chair, wall, chair,
114
00:04:30,451 --> 00:04:32,537
Captain Holt. Captain Holt? No.
115
00:04:32,912 --> 00:04:35,997
[CHUCKLES] Yes, that
was a delicious lunch, Gary.
116
00:04:36,081 --> 00:04:39,458
And I agree, our group does
seem happier than it was before.
117
00:04:39,542 --> 00:04:40,959
Oh. The pizza was that good?
118
00:04:41,043 --> 00:04:43,753
Pizza?
Right, that's what I said we were getting
119
00:04:43,837 --> 00:04:46,255
before we decided to, uh, snazz it up.
120
00:04:46,339 --> 00:04:47,881
Oh. You guys snazzed?
121
00:04:47,965 --> 00:04:51,009
Yeah, we snazzed all the
way to La Petite Creperie.
122
00:04:51,093 --> 00:04:52,426
I thought we couldn't say "snazz."
123
00:04:52,510 --> 00:04:54,929
Oh, no, I was thinking of [BLEEP].
124
00:04:55,013 --> 00:04:56,180
We can't say [BLEEP]. Carry on.
125
00:04:56,264 --> 00:04:57,889
SANTIAGO: Tell 'em how good it was, Rosa.
126
00:04:57,973 --> 00:05:00,141
Tell 'em how high our morale is.
127
00:05:00,225 --> 00:05:01,725
High. Oh, stop gushing, girl.
128
00:05:01,809 --> 00:05:03,268
JEFFORDS: I think it's so interesting
129
00:05:03,352 --> 00:05:05,978
you guys didn't stick
to your original plan,
130
00:05:06,062 --> 00:05:07,521
because neither did we.
131
00:05:07,605 --> 00:05:08,606
What? Why?
132
00:05:08,690 --> 00:05:11,399
You don't think we knew you
were gonna snazz? [CHUCKLING]
133
00:05:11,483 --> 00:05:13,777
We saw your snazz coming a mile away.
134
00:05:13,861 --> 00:05:18,113
That's why I took my team out
for some big, juicy steaks, and…
135
00:05:18,197 --> 00:05:19,614
ALL: ♪ Mashed potatoes ♪
136
00:05:19,698 --> 00:05:22,992
♪ And some spinach,
and some key lime pie ♪
137
00:05:23,076 --> 00:05:24,117
Thank you, Heather.
138
00:05:24,201 --> 00:05:25,577
Well, that doesn't
sound better than crepes.
139
00:05:25,661 --> 00:05:28,746
It is. Terry wins. We know.
We were at both lunches.
140
00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:31,082
How? They were simultaneous
and two miles apart.
141
00:05:31,166 --> 00:05:32,791
It was free food. Life finds a way.
142
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:35,502
Okay, but you can't win
because it wasn't a competition.
143
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:37,711
So, let's make it a competition.
Same groups tomorrow?
144
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:39,797
Okay. But let's agree at the end of this
145
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,173
that we'll still be friends. No deal.
146
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,091
Good! 'Cause I didn't mean it, anyway.
147
00:05:43,175 --> 00:05:45,802
Hello, sir. How'd you find us out?
Mahler's Fourth Symphony.
148
00:05:45,886 --> 00:05:47,719
He'd never sit in just any section.
149
00:05:47,803 --> 00:05:49,221
I might. I'm flexible.
150
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:53,307
Oh, really? You'd sit center-left?
In timpani alley?
151
00:05:53,391 --> 00:05:55,809
I'll purchase those tickets right away.
152
00:06:01,022 --> 00:06:02,439
No, don't. Fine.
153
00:06:02,523 --> 00:06:04,482
Jake is helping me with a
burglary here at the university,
154
00:06:04,566 --> 00:06:06,734
and I asked him not to tell you.
155
00:06:06,818 --> 00:06:08,902
Is this about St. Augustine? Yes.
156
00:06:08,986 --> 00:06:10,153
What's going on? He's embarrassed of me.
157
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:13,155
Last Christmas, the Classics
Department threw a holiday party.
158
00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:17,117
I had one drink too many
and utterly humiliated myself.
159
00:06:17,201 --> 00:06:18,827
And that was the point
St. Augustine was making
160
00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:20,286
in Consolation of Philosophy.
161
00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:23,288
Yeah, sounds super humiliating,
saying something smart.
162
00:06:23,372 --> 00:06:25,874
Smart?
I confused St. Augustine with Boethius.
163
00:06:25,958 --> 00:06:28,459
I might as well have stepped on a
rake and bonked myself on the forehead.
164
00:06:28,543 --> 00:06:30,128
The problem wasn't what you said.
165
00:06:30,212 --> 00:06:31,878
It was that Dean Allister
pointed out your mistake,
166
00:06:31,962 --> 00:06:33,046
and you lost your damned mind.
167
00:06:33,130 --> 00:06:35,923
I misremembered it because
I'm reading both simultaneously.
168
00:06:36,007 --> 00:06:37,758
One book is too few for me.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
169
00:06:37,842 --> 00:06:39,692
-Where is everyone going?
-[CLATTERING]
170
00:06:40,177 --> 00:06:41,678
It was quite the kerfuffle.
171
00:06:41,762 --> 00:06:44,263
The problem is, is that I
get flustered and defensive
172
00:06:44,347 --> 00:06:46,765
because I know how they all see me.
173
00:06:46,849 --> 00:06:50,018
As Kevin's working-class bimbo.
174
00:06:50,102 --> 00:06:51,436
[CHUCKLES] I can't
imagine that's what they think.
175
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:52,603
It is. Really?
176
00:06:52,687 --> 00:06:55,272
Obviously I know that they're wrong,
but they put you in your own head,
177
00:06:55,356 --> 00:06:56,440
and you're not yourself around them.
178
00:06:56,524 --> 00:06:58,399
I'm sorry, I was just
trying to protect you.
179
00:06:58,483 --> 00:07:00,735
Yes, of course.
Thank you for saving me from myself.
180
00:07:00,819 --> 00:07:02,193
Now, if you'll excuse me,
181
00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:05,030
I'll just go sit by the pool
and read some fiction,
182
00:07:05,114 --> 00:07:06,948
like the bimbo that I am.
183
00:07:09,909 --> 00:07:11,409
There's a pool here?
184
00:07:14,329 --> 00:07:15,913
Sir, wait. Oh!
185
00:07:16,205 --> 00:07:18,206
Wasn't expecting to
catch up to you so fast.
186
00:07:18,290 --> 00:07:19,291
I don't know what to say now.
187
00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:21,709
I thought I was gonna have more
running time to formulate it. Oh! I know.
188
00:07:21,793 --> 00:07:23,377
I'm sorry that we kept
the case a secret from you.
189
00:07:23,461 --> 00:07:24,669
Oh, I understand why you did.
190
00:07:24,753 --> 00:07:28,298
The truth is, ever since I met
Kevin, I've felt insecure in his world.
191
00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:31,425
I can't compete with these
highly-educated academics.
192
00:07:31,509 --> 00:07:35,762
I worry every day that I'll make
one St. Augustine slip too many,
193
00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:37,888
and he'll realize…
194
00:07:38,139 --> 00:07:39,723
I'm beneath him. This is insane.
195
00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:41,433
You're the smartest person I know.
196
00:07:41,517 --> 00:07:44,101
I'll explain it to you.
Among Kevin's peers,
197
00:07:44,185 --> 00:07:45,686
I'm the Jake. No, no, no.
198
00:07:45,770 --> 00:07:47,395
I refuse to live in a world
where you're the Jake,
199
00:07:47,479 --> 00:07:49,147
because if you're the Jake,
what does that make me?
200
00:07:49,231 --> 00:07:50,607
The Charles? The Hitchcock.
201
00:07:50,691 --> 00:07:53,108
The Hitchcock? Oh, my God.
202
00:07:53,192 --> 00:07:55,401
You dropped down so many
more levels than I was expecting.
203
00:07:55,485 --> 00:07:57,445
Okay, you know what? Screw this.
204
00:07:57,529 --> 00:07:59,654
You are so smart, and we're
gonna prove it to those professors.
205
00:07:59,738 --> 00:08:01,031
You're gonna work this case,
206
00:08:01,115 --> 00:08:02,815
and you're gonna find those coins.
207
00:08:03,534 --> 00:08:05,910
Well, I suppose it would
be nice to show them
208
00:08:05,994 --> 00:08:08,079
I'm more than just a
hot, dumb piece of ass.
209
00:08:08,163 --> 00:08:09,370
Yes. That's the spirit.
210
00:08:09,454 --> 00:08:11,081
Now get that hot ass moving,
211
00:08:11,165 --> 00:08:12,415
'cause we've got a crime to solve.
212
00:08:12,499 --> 00:08:13,749
Peralta, please, have some decorum.
213
00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:15,459
What? I was just using your words.
214
00:08:15,543 --> 00:08:17,252
Look, you teach people the
way you want to be treated.
215
00:08:17,336 --> 00:08:18,712
That's what Dr. Phil says.
216
00:08:19,129 --> 00:08:21,881
Okay, lunchtime starts in 10 minutes.
217
00:08:21,965 --> 00:08:24,925
Whichever team wins gets
recorded on the Whiteboard of Victory.
218
00:08:25,009 --> 00:08:27,593
The winner will be decided by
our judges, Hitchcock and Scully.
219
00:08:27,677 --> 00:08:29,845
Oh, my God, are we
high status, Hitchcock?
220
00:08:29,929 --> 00:08:31,513
HITCHCOCK: I think so. What a world.
221
00:08:31,597 --> 00:08:34,390
BOYLE: Oh, well, good luck. I'm
sure you know all the best places to eat
222
00:08:34,474 --> 00:08:37,893
since you've reached Elite status on Yelp.
Oh, wait, that was me.
223
00:08:37,977 --> 00:08:40,269
Oh, because Yelp reviewers
are sane people with great taste?
224
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,438
BOYLE: Oh, sorry, couldn't hear
you over GourmetGlen12 saying
225
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,898
that my review of the duck skin
226
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,233
at the Hearth and Feather was helpful.
227
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:49,360
Come on, Team Jeffords. It's chow time.
228
00:08:49,444 --> 00:08:50,570
[BOYLE CHUCKLES]
229
00:08:50,820 --> 00:08:52,404
SANTIAGO: We have
a cool thing to say, too.
230
00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:55,240
Team Santiago, let's lunch-a-bunch!
231
00:08:55,324 --> 00:08:57,534
No, I don't say that.
Come on, Rosa, please?
232
00:08:57,618 --> 00:08:59,868
[SOFTLY] Let's lunch-a-bunch.
Ah! Rosa said it.
233
00:08:59,952 --> 00:09:01,495
Did you hear that? Did you hear it?
234
00:09:01,579 --> 00:09:02,703
[SIGHING] Ah.
235
00:09:02,787 --> 00:09:04,748
Dean Allister? Policeman Raymond.
236
00:09:05,165 --> 00:09:06,707
Good to see you. [LAUGHS]
237
00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:09,209
Read any interesting magazines lately?
238
00:09:09,293 --> 00:09:11,669
This again? I was waiting for
Kevin, I had finished my book,
239
00:09:11,753 --> 00:09:13,087
and I happened to glance at
240
00:09:13,171 --> 00:09:15,755
an issue of The Economist
that someone left lying about.
241
00:09:15,839 --> 00:09:17,757
All I remember is you becoming unhinged.
242
00:09:17,841 --> 00:09:20,968
The only reason I picked it up
was to swat a fly. I'm not crazy.
243
00:09:21,052 --> 00:09:23,137
[YELLING] Why are
there always flowers here?
244
00:09:23,221 --> 00:09:25,972
So, is policeman
Raymond joining the case?
245
00:09:26,056 --> 00:09:27,557
Actually, he's leading it.
246
00:09:27,641 --> 00:09:30,142
Captain Holt is the finest
investigator I've ever worked with.
247
00:09:30,226 --> 00:09:31,894
Sir, tell him our plan of action.
248
00:09:38,815 --> 00:09:40,441
Clues. Okay, you're freezing up.
249
00:09:40,525 --> 00:09:41,776
I'm just gonna take the wheel for now.
250
00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:43,318
There were no signs of forced entry,
251
00:09:43,402 --> 00:09:44,862
the only people with
access to the archives
252
00:09:44,946 --> 00:09:48,865
were the professors in the department,
and they all have alibis, which means…
253
00:09:50,116 --> 00:09:51,117
I don't know what you want me to say.
254
00:09:51,201 --> 00:09:52,909
Okay, that's my fault for
throwing it to you again.
255
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,661
Which means we need to
examine the crime scene.
256
00:09:54,745 --> 00:09:55,911
It is there that we will find
257
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:58,498
what Captain Holt has so
eloquently described as…
258
00:10:00,582 --> 00:10:01,583
Clues?
259
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,293
[GROANS] Sir, you just said it.
260
00:10:04,002 --> 00:10:05,419
Cupcakes up, everyone.
261
00:10:05,503 --> 00:10:07,171
Heather, you already ate yours?
262
00:10:07,255 --> 00:10:08,964
The point is to eat it in their faces.
263
00:10:09,048 --> 00:10:10,674
[HORN HONKING]
264
00:10:11,967 --> 00:10:13,884
Honk, honk, bitches. What the hell?
265
00:10:13,968 --> 00:10:16,052
We rented a party limo, drove
to Coney Island for hot dogs,
266
00:10:16,136 --> 00:10:17,888
and then did karaoke the entire time.
267
00:10:17,972 --> 00:10:20,014
I sang It Wasn't Me by Shaggy.
Crushed it.
268
00:10:20,098 --> 00:10:21,682
But that's not even about lunch! It's…
269
00:10:21,766 --> 00:10:23,058
An experience.
270
00:10:23,308 --> 00:10:24,475
-Team Amy wins.
-JEFFORDS: What?
271
00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:26,644
How did you get there?
You were just with us.
272
00:10:26,728 --> 00:10:28,395
Scully was with them. Free food.
273
00:10:28,479 --> 00:10:31,522
Great cupcake, Sarge. But Amy still wins.
274
00:10:31,606 --> 00:10:33,275
SANTIAGO: Eat snazz, losers.
275
00:10:34,609 --> 00:10:35,610
[TIRES SCREECHING]
276
00:10:35,694 --> 00:10:38,528
Okay, so there were no witnesses,
no cameras, and no prints.
277
00:10:38,612 --> 00:10:40,237
In other words, we have nothing.
278
00:10:40,321 --> 00:10:42,031
That's what you get when
you put a bimbo on the case.
279
00:10:42,115 --> 00:10:44,074
Okay, well, let's not
give up all hope just yet.
280
00:10:44,158 --> 00:10:45,325
We do know some things.
281
00:10:45,409 --> 00:10:48,453
For example, the perp entered using a
key, which means they probably work here.
282
00:10:48,537 --> 00:10:52,087
And they knew enough to skip past
all these expensive-looking artifacts.
283
00:10:52,206 --> 00:10:53,748
They walked straight up to this shelf
284
00:10:53,832 --> 00:10:55,458
and grabbed the coin case from up there.
285
00:10:55,542 --> 00:10:56,959
HOLT: It's too high.
You can't reach it. Exactly.
286
00:10:57,043 --> 00:10:59,502
So, now we know that the thief
was taller than me. That's a good lead.
287
00:10:59,586 --> 00:11:01,504
Also, we know they
were a little bit of a freak,
288
00:11:01,588 --> 00:11:03,130
since I am above average height
289
00:11:03,214 --> 00:11:04,548
according to the 1940 census.
290
00:11:04,632 --> 00:11:05,841
I didn't realize you had
a thing about your height.
291
00:11:05,925 --> 00:11:06,926
I don't!
292
00:11:07,010 --> 00:11:08,259
[CHUCKLES] Because I'm above average.
293
00:11:08,343 --> 00:11:10,220
Why would I have a thing about
my height when I'm above average?
294
00:11:10,304 --> 00:11:12,221
It doesn't make any sense.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
295
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:15,515
Anyways, we're looking for an
insanely tall perp, a real Shaq type.
296
00:11:15,599 --> 00:11:18,184
Maybe the thief stood on something, like,
297
00:11:18,268 --> 00:11:20,061
one of these drawers.
298
00:11:21,562 --> 00:11:22,813
Turn off the light.
299
00:11:23,355 --> 00:11:25,523
Maybe something will show up under UV.
300
00:11:27,317 --> 00:11:29,068
Bingpot! A footprint.
301
00:11:29,152 --> 00:11:30,860
You did it, you brilliant bimbo.
302
00:11:30,944 --> 00:11:33,196
Oh, there you are.
Why are you in the dark?
303
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,571
Were you not able
to find the light switch?
304
00:11:34,655 --> 00:11:36,156
PERALTA: Ha-ha! Very funny.
305
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:37,366
But I'll actually have you know
306
00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:39,200
Captain Holt just found
a very promising lead.
307
00:11:39,284 --> 00:11:40,660
Oh, how fun. A lead.
308
00:11:40,744 --> 00:11:42,078
Meanwhile, we actually found the thief.
309
00:11:42,162 --> 00:11:43,203
You did? What?
310
00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:44,913
Technically our janitor found him.
311
00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:47,206
Come on in, Randy.
Tell them how you did their jobs.
312
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:50,668
Well, um, I was emptying the
trash in Professor Port's office.
313
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,045
I saw something shiny sticking
out from underneath a notepad.
314
00:11:54,129 --> 00:11:55,672
It was one of the missing coins.
315
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,339
DEAN ALLISTER: Great police work.
316
00:11:57,423 --> 00:12:01,926
Perhaps you might want to hire
Randy, or, Randy, you could hire them.
317
00:12:02,052 --> 00:12:04,387
It seems like you all have,
basically, the same skill set.
318
00:12:04,471 --> 00:12:05,720
[DEAN ALLISTER LAUGHS]
319
00:12:05,804 --> 00:12:07,847
We're actually all
staffed up in maintenance.
320
00:12:07,931 --> 00:12:09,599
We don't want your job, Randy.
321
00:12:12,018 --> 00:12:15,311
I know Dean Allister humiliated
us, but we can still have our revenge.
322
00:12:15,395 --> 00:12:18,022
I watched a ton of horny '80s
comedies when I was a kid,
323
00:12:18,106 --> 00:12:20,857
and they're filled with ways
of getting back at mean deans.
324
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:23,150
So, we are gonna throw the wildest party
325
00:12:23,234 --> 00:12:25,111
this campus has ever seen. No.
326
00:12:25,195 --> 00:12:26,654
Okay, then we'll have a bikini car wash.
327
00:12:26,738 --> 00:12:28,154
No, no, save your schemes.
328
00:12:28,238 --> 00:12:30,282
I know exactly how to
get back at the dean.
329
00:12:30,366 --> 00:12:32,324
By arresting him. For what?
330
00:12:32,408 --> 00:12:34,827
It seems pretty obvious that Port did it.
No, no, that makes no sense.
331
00:12:34,911 --> 00:12:37,245
Why would someone steal something
valuable and then leave it in their desk?
332
00:12:37,329 --> 00:12:39,664
I feel like this is a veiled shot at
me for leaving the crown in my desk
333
00:12:39,748 --> 00:12:41,290
during the third Halloween Heist. It is.
334
00:12:41,374 --> 00:12:44,835
Oh. Allister planted the
coin in Professor Port's desk.
335
00:12:44,919 --> 00:12:46,002
They're rivals.
336
00:12:46,086 --> 00:12:48,671
Hmm. Did you see the book
Allister was holding back there?
337
00:12:48,755 --> 00:12:51,715
A biography of Macedonian
general, Parmenion.
338
00:12:51,799 --> 00:12:52,841
He was taunting us.
339
00:12:52,925 --> 00:12:54,008
Again, I'm the Hitchcock here.
340
00:12:54,092 --> 00:12:55,634
You're gonna have to
connect the dots for me.
341
00:12:55,718 --> 00:12:58,262
Parmenion was a close
adviser to Alexander the Great.
342
00:12:58,346 --> 00:13:00,263
Alexander suspected that Parmenion
343
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,473
was trying to supplant
him, so he executed him.
344
00:13:02,557 --> 00:13:04,266
He was getting rid of his rival.
345
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,892
Sir, you cracked it.
346
00:13:05,976 --> 00:13:08,185
You and your big hard brain. Hard?
347
00:13:08,269 --> 00:13:11,147
Yes! You have the biggest, hardest
brain on Earth, and I want you to say it.
348
00:13:11,231 --> 00:13:13,606
Say "I am Raymond Holt,
and my brain is rock-hard."
349
00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:14,941
A brain shouldn't be hard.
350
00:13:15,025 --> 00:13:17,943
If anything, I'll say, "I am Raymond
Holt, and my brain is soft and wet."
351
00:13:18,027 --> 00:13:19,820
No, don't say that.
It's gross and I hate it.
352
00:13:19,904 --> 00:13:21,254
Let's go do some cop stuff.
353
00:13:22,572 --> 00:13:25,158
Wait, why does Terry's
team have four wins?
354
00:13:25,242 --> 00:13:27,993
He only won steaks, bowling,
and the mobile escape room.
355
00:13:28,077 --> 00:13:30,953
You're forgetting about our
breakfast at the Empire State Building.
356
00:13:31,037 --> 00:13:32,705
It was so cold up there.
357
00:13:32,831 --> 00:13:35,123
It sounds a lot better than
our indoor skydiving lunch.
358
00:13:35,207 --> 00:13:37,334
Speaking of which, are we
gonna get reimbursed for that?
359
00:13:37,418 --> 00:13:40,044
How dare you complain
about the Funtastic FlyZone.
360
00:13:40,128 --> 00:13:41,920
That was funtastic fun for everyone.
361
00:13:42,004 --> 00:13:43,588
So, what are you guys planning for today?
362
00:13:43,672 --> 00:13:46,007
Oh, nothing much.
We're just gonna keep it cazh.
363
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:48,091
Us too. Super cazh.
364
00:13:48,175 --> 00:13:50,385
Super duper cazh.
365
00:13:50,469 --> 00:13:54,847
We all know you're both planning something
insanely complicated and annoying.
366
00:13:54,931 --> 00:13:57,557
[LAUGHS] Your teammates
are turning against you, Terry.
367
00:13:57,641 --> 00:13:59,267
I'm on your team. Who cares?
368
00:13:59,351 --> 00:14:02,270
We're gonna win.
Team Lunch-a-Bunch forever.
369
00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:04,646
Sir, why are we still doing this?
370
00:14:04,730 --> 00:14:07,482
We've been following him for days,
and he hasn't done anything suspicious.
371
00:14:07,566 --> 00:14:08,775
Let's just confront him.
372
00:14:08,859 --> 00:14:11,651
He only hid one of the
stolen coins in Port's desk.
373
00:14:11,735 --> 00:14:13,779
He'll probably try to sell the others.
I want to catch him in the act.
374
00:14:13,863 --> 00:14:15,463
[WHISPERING] Shh. Here he comes.
375
00:14:20,784 --> 00:14:21,993
These college kids.
376
00:14:22,077 --> 00:14:24,495
I used to wear long-sleeve T-shirts
under my short-sleeve T-shirts.
377
00:14:24,579 --> 00:14:25,579
Wait a minute, I still could.
378
00:14:25,663 --> 00:14:26,789
[WHISPERING] Hang on. He's stopping.
379
00:14:26,873 --> 00:14:27,914
PERALTA: Oh, no, he forgot his phone.
380
00:14:27,998 --> 00:14:30,083
He's gonna turn around and see us.
Come on.
381
00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:32,417
-Sorry, sorry.
-STUDENT: Oh, hey, guys, what's up?
382
00:14:32,501 --> 00:14:34,086
You want to join our
a cappella jam circle?
383
00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:35,796
Oh, no. Are you guys Harry Potter fans?
384
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,880
-I do not like where this is going.
-[SNAPS FINGERS] Three, four…
385
00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:41,050
♪ Won't you come visit Hogwarts? ♪
386
00:14:41,925 --> 00:14:46,179
♪ I'll be alone, dancing in Gryffindor ♪
387
00:14:46,762 --> 00:14:50,473
♪ Harry is the best at the spells ♪
388
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:53,518
♪ And as for potions Hermione does well ♪
389
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:56,645
This is actually pretty funny.
You got to know Harry Potter.
390
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,147
Wait a minute. Where'd Allister go?
391
00:15:00,231 --> 00:15:03,400
He was standing right here.
It's like he vanished without a trace.
392
00:15:03,484 --> 00:15:05,777
Wrong, Peralta. He vanished with a trace.
393
00:15:05,861 --> 00:15:08,070
Check it out. His footprint. Gotcha.
394
00:15:08,154 --> 00:15:09,530
[SOFTLY] I am Raymond
Holt and my brain is rock-hard.
395
00:15:09,614 --> 00:15:10,614
I'm not going to say that. Smart.
396
00:15:10,698 --> 00:15:11,698
Saving it for a bigger moment
397
00:15:11,782 --> 00:15:13,241
in front of a bunch of people.
Can't wait!
398
00:15:13,325 --> 00:15:18,036
Okay, squad, hope you ate lunch
already, because it's lunchtime!
399
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,955
What's with the get-ups?
Oh. Nothing much.
400
00:15:20,039 --> 00:15:23,249
We just turned the parking garage
into an elaborate paintball arena.
401
00:15:23,333 --> 00:15:25,834
It's zombie-themed. We hired 60 actors.
402
00:15:25,918 --> 00:15:26,918
That sounds pretty expensive.
403
00:15:27,002 --> 00:15:28,336
Nah, New York actors are desperate.
404
00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:30,170
For ten bucks, you can
shoot 'em right in the face.
405
00:15:30,254 --> 00:15:32,005
Wow! That's amazing.
406
00:15:32,089 --> 00:15:34,841
I don't know how anybody
could ever beat that,
407
00:15:34,925 --> 00:15:38,219
except maybe an
in-office teppanyaki grill.
408
00:15:38,303 --> 00:15:39,302
Moshi moshi, losers!
409
00:15:39,386 --> 00:15:41,513
JEFFORDS: We got shrimp. We got lobster.
410
00:15:41,597 --> 00:15:43,681
Heather, I know you're
allergic to shellfish.
411
00:15:43,765 --> 00:15:45,474
You're just gonna have to not eat.
412
00:15:45,558 --> 00:15:47,936
Where's Heather? Where is everybody?
413
00:15:48,519 --> 00:15:50,369
They're on the roof by Gina's statue.
414
00:15:50,729 --> 00:15:51,813
What the hell, guys?
415
00:15:51,897 --> 00:15:52,896
Oh, God, they found us.
416
00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:54,690
Don't let them take me.
Why are you hiding from us?
417
00:15:54,774 --> 00:15:57,275
This lunch competition
has gotten out of hand.
418
00:15:57,359 --> 00:15:58,609
No one is having fun.
419
00:15:58,693 --> 00:16:00,069
I keep having panic dreams
420
00:16:00,153 --> 00:16:02,737
about Sergeant Santiago
shooting down my lunch ideas.
421
00:16:02,821 --> 00:16:05,240
Historic walking tours
don't win lunch, Gary.
422
00:16:05,324 --> 00:16:07,408
No one cares about winning lunch.
423
00:16:07,742 --> 00:16:09,410
Please, just leave us alone.
424
00:16:09,494 --> 00:16:10,743
[SIGHS]
425
00:16:10,827 --> 00:16:12,245
-Gary, wait. Look…
-[GUN FIRES]
426
00:16:12,329 --> 00:16:13,789
-[GROANS] Ow!
-JEFFORDS: Oh!
427
00:16:13,997 --> 00:16:16,540
Why did you do that?
Oh, my God, it was an accident.
428
00:16:16,624 --> 00:16:17,916
This thing doesn't have a safety…
429
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,917
-[GROANS] Ow!
-JEFFORDS: Ooh!
430
00:16:20,001 --> 00:16:22,128
Stop! Help!
431
00:16:22,212 --> 00:16:24,713
And a big round of
applause for Janitor Randy
432
00:16:24,797 --> 00:16:26,882
-for recovering our precious coin.
-[ALL APPLAUDING]
433
00:16:26,966 --> 00:16:28,841
Don't applaud for that man.
434
00:16:28,925 --> 00:16:30,759
-What's going on?
-PERALTA: What's going on is,
435
00:16:30,843 --> 00:16:34,053
Captain Holt just solved this case.
What's there left to solve?
436
00:16:34,137 --> 00:16:36,681
We found the coin in Professor
Port's desk. He's the thief.
437
00:16:36,765 --> 00:16:38,932
Oh, you'd like everyone to believe
that, wouldn't you, Dean Allister?
438
00:16:39,016 --> 00:16:41,726
Or should I say, General Parmenion?
439
00:16:41,810 --> 00:16:43,561
Raymond, are you causing a kerfuffle?
440
00:16:43,645 --> 00:16:45,771
Yes.
Sometimes a moment calls for a kerfuffle.
441
00:16:45,855 --> 00:16:48,607
No. No moment calls for a kerfuffle.
You know my feelings on this.
442
00:16:48,691 --> 00:16:52,234
Dean Allister framed Professor
Port to get rid of a rival,
443
00:16:52,318 --> 00:16:54,903
just as Alexander got rid of Parmenion.
444
00:16:54,987 --> 00:16:58,323
Preposterous. Do you even have a
shred of evidence to back up that claim?
445
00:16:58,407 --> 00:17:00,741
Oh, we've got more than a shred.
Look at these photos.
446
00:17:00,825 --> 00:17:03,368
Here, a footprint from
the scene of the crime
447
00:17:03,452 --> 00:17:04,452
left by the thief.
448
00:17:04,536 --> 00:17:07,872
And here, another print
made yesterday by you.
449
00:17:07,956 --> 00:17:10,207
You've been caught, Allister!
Is it happening?
450
00:17:10,291 --> 00:17:11,541
Caught by me. It is happening.
451
00:17:11,625 --> 00:17:14,710
Me and my rock-hard brain. It happened!
452
00:17:14,794 --> 00:17:16,879
Oh, Raymond. Look around.
453
00:17:16,963 --> 00:17:20,256
These shoes I'm wearing
with their "unique footprint,"
454
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,590
we all have them.
455
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,592
They were the departmental
gift this Christmas.
456
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,010
They're actually very funny.
457
00:17:25,094 --> 00:17:26,594
They have "Achilles" printed on the heel.
458
00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:28,930
I don't know if I would
call that very funny.
459
00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:31,515
I'm surprised you didn't know about them.
Kevin must have gotten a pair.
460
00:17:31,599 --> 00:17:33,558
Oh. I remember what happened.
461
00:17:33,642 --> 00:17:36,393
You had to leave the Christmas
party before they were handed out.
462
00:17:36,477 --> 00:17:39,104
Why was that again?
Oh, yes. The kerfuffle.
463
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:40,647
But what about the autobiography
464
00:17:40,731 --> 00:17:42,065
of Persimminons you
were taunting us with?
465
00:17:42,149 --> 00:17:45,192
I suppose I can see how holding any
book would seem like a taunt to you.
466
00:17:45,276 --> 00:17:46,401
I own a book. But I don't think Raymond
467
00:17:46,485 --> 00:17:48,028
is remembering the story correctly.
468
00:17:48,112 --> 00:17:50,363
Alexander didn't see
Parmenion as a rival.
469
00:17:50,447 --> 00:17:52,114
He killed him over a
dispute about his son.
470
00:17:52,198 --> 00:17:54,699
Oh, no, it's Boethius all over again.
471
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,451
DEAN ALLISTER: At
least you got one thing right.
472
00:17:56,535 --> 00:17:59,703
You do have a rock-hard brain.
Because that's bad.
473
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:02,163
Everyone knows that a
brain should be soft and wet.
474
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,040
I wanted to say that,
but Jake told me not to.
475
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:07,293
Yeah, because it's gross.
476
00:18:09,545 --> 00:18:10,671
There you are.
477
00:18:12,464 --> 00:18:14,215
You okay, sir? I'm fine.
478
00:18:14,299 --> 00:18:15,840
I have decided to stop fighting it
479
00:18:15,924 --> 00:18:17,300
and lean in to the
fact that I'm an idiot.
480
00:18:17,384 --> 00:18:19,718
Look at me, playing a video game.
Oh. Which one?
481
00:18:19,802 --> 00:18:21,387
Times crossword app. Not a video game.
482
00:18:21,471 --> 00:18:23,722
It plays a little song when you solve it,
483
00:18:23,806 --> 00:18:25,098
as if you've just learned to potty.
484
00:18:25,182 --> 00:18:26,474
[UPBEAT TUNE PLAYS ON CELL PHONE]
485
00:18:26,558 --> 00:18:29,017
Yes, yes, play me my dunce's tune.
486
00:18:29,101 --> 00:18:32,479
[SIGHS] Okay, so those guys
look down on you. So what?
487
00:18:32,563 --> 00:18:34,105
Amy's parents look down on me.
488
00:18:34,189 --> 00:18:36,107
They talk about me right in
front of my face in Spanish
489
00:18:36,191 --> 00:18:38,233
because they don't think I'm smart
enough to learn another language,
490
00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:41,111
but I've been taking classes,
and now I can understand
491
00:18:41,195 --> 00:18:43,529
all the hurtful things
they've been saying.
492
00:18:43,613 --> 00:18:44,780
And how did that help?
493
00:18:44,864 --> 00:18:46,364
Now I know they think I'm short
494
00:18:46,448 --> 00:18:49,075
and I was able to do some
research and find that 1940s census
495
00:18:49,159 --> 00:18:51,034
that proves I'm above average in height.
For 1940.
496
00:18:51,118 --> 00:18:52,911
Yeah, I'm taller than
the greatest generation.
497
00:18:52,995 --> 00:18:55,871
It doesn't matter.
The point is, you can use this.
498
00:18:55,955 --> 00:18:58,208
There are benefits to
being underestimated.
499
00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:01,876
My goodness. You're right.
500
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,920
There are benefits to
being underestimated.
501
00:19:05,004 --> 00:19:06,714
You can get away with anything.
502
00:19:06,798 --> 00:19:09,507
Sir? Are you going to kill the dean?
503
00:19:09,591 --> 00:19:12,510
No.
What if the thief was someone we dismissed
504
00:19:12,594 --> 00:19:14,177
because they didn't have
a classics background?
505
00:19:14,261 --> 00:19:15,887
Someone who wasn't a professor?
506
00:19:15,971 --> 00:19:17,389
But what about the footprints?
507
00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:18,681
The shoes were only given to faculty.
508
00:19:18,765 --> 00:19:21,267
There was one pair that
was unaccounted for, Kevin's.
509
00:19:21,351 --> 00:19:24,311
They were left at the
party to be cleaned up.
510
00:19:24,395 --> 00:19:28,105
By Janitor Randy.
My story solved it. I'm tall.
511
00:19:28,189 --> 00:19:31,024
Hey, everyone, we would
like to say we're sorry
512
00:19:31,108 --> 00:19:33,026
for letting this competition
get the best of us.
513
00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:35,652
And to make it up to you, we
figured out what to do for lunch.
514
00:19:35,736 --> 00:19:38,864
Please, whatever your new idea
is, I just don't want to get shot again.
515
00:19:38,948 --> 00:19:40,865
Ugh. Gary, it was a paintball.
Suck it up.
516
00:19:40,949 --> 00:19:42,450
Isn't this supposed to be an apology?
517
00:19:42,534 --> 00:19:45,368
Yes. You're right. I'm sorry.
518
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:47,621
I mean, I shot my husband
with a real bullet two years ago,
519
00:19:47,705 --> 00:19:49,663
and it comes up way less than this.
Way less than this.
520
00:19:49,747 --> 00:19:50,748
-Guys!
-SANTIAGO: Right.
521
00:19:50,832 --> 00:19:52,499
What we're trying to say is
522
00:19:52,583 --> 00:19:56,336
that we lost sight of what this
was all really about, building morale.
523
00:19:56,420 --> 00:19:58,503
So, we bought two-ply toilet
paper for the whole squad.
524
00:19:58,587 --> 00:20:00,130
-I call shotgun!
-HITCHCOCK: Shotgun!
525
00:20:00,214 --> 00:20:02,840
Also, I sold the teppanyaki grill
526
00:20:02,924 --> 00:20:06,135
and used the money to
turn the briefing room into…
527
00:20:06,219 --> 00:20:07,510
The lunch zone.
528
00:20:07,594 --> 00:20:09,179
Oh, no. What's the lunch zone?
529
00:20:09,263 --> 00:20:11,930
Is it someplace we have to put
on a harness and not eat lunch?
530
00:20:12,014 --> 00:20:13,474
There are no harnesses.
531
00:20:14,392 --> 00:20:17,519
There are phone chargers and
noise-canceling headphones.
532
00:20:17,769 --> 00:20:20,062
So you can eat your lunch
and stare at your phone
533
00:20:20,146 --> 00:20:22,731
and you won't have to see
or hear anyone you work with.
534
00:20:22,815 --> 00:20:25,691
It's perfect. It's absolutely perfect.
535
00:20:25,775 --> 00:20:26,776
We're so glad you like it.
536
00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:29,069
And just to be sure,
I'm not gonna get shot?
537
00:20:29,153 --> 00:20:31,989
Oh, my God, Gary. Yes!
You won't get shot!
538
00:20:32,823 --> 00:20:34,239
Yeah, I stole those coins.
539
00:20:34,323 --> 00:20:35,658
Can't believe you
bought that whole story.
540
00:20:35,742 --> 00:20:37,451
PERALTA: They underestimated you, Randy,
541
00:20:37,535 --> 00:20:39,327
just as they underestimated Raymond Holt.
542
00:20:39,411 --> 00:20:41,245
Well, you guys haven't
been that great to me either.
543
00:20:41,329 --> 00:20:43,163
Well, you got to teach people
how you want to be treated, Randy.
544
00:20:43,247 --> 00:20:44,247
Dr. Phil, RIP.
545
00:20:44,331 --> 00:20:47,416
The point is, Captain Holt solved
the case when no one else could.
546
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:49,752
He's actually been stealing
from these archives for years.
547
00:20:49,836 --> 00:20:52,170
You've been asleep at the wheel, Allister.
You're an embarrassment.
548
00:20:52,254 --> 00:20:55,839
Really? Well, at least I've never
confused St. Augustine with Boethius.
549
00:20:55,923 --> 00:20:58,717
Oh, who gives a rat's ass
about Boethius, Wesley?
550
00:20:58,801 --> 00:20:59,802
What are you doing, Kevin?
551
00:20:59,886 --> 00:21:01,636
I am creating a kerfuffle. Oh, damn.
552
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,180
Sure, my husband is a hot piece of ass,
553
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:05,889
but he is so much more than just that.
554
00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:08,517
Raymond Holt is as smart
as anyone in this department,
555
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:12,604
but he chooses to use his intelligence
to make our city a better place.
556
00:21:14,062 --> 00:21:16,607
One day, I hope to live
up to the standard you set.
557
00:21:17,107 --> 00:21:20,317
You make me want to have a wetter brain.
558
00:21:20,401 --> 00:21:21,736
Oh, Kevin.
559
00:21:24,738 --> 00:21:26,281
Y'all are hella specific.
45940
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