All language subtitles for Brooklyn.Nine-Nine.S06E11.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Bottles.

Boyle.

Bullpen. What are you…

Bottles, Boyle, bullpen.

Bowling.

Behold, Brooklyn buddies,

Boyle bullpen bottle bowling.

Beautiful. Be brave, bro. Be brave.

Bowl!

[DISTORTED SCREAMING]

Bam!

Bull's-eye! Booyah!

Babushka!

ALL: Babushka!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

BOYLE: Jakey, I've
got a hot case for you.

PERALTA: Ooh! Hit me.

Okay, Susan Buckley was reported missing

by her psychiatrist, Dr. William Tate.

He thinks that her husband James

may have had a mental break

and done something terrible to her.

Oh! That is a hot case.

Missing woman, psycho
husband, creepy shrink.

Dr. Tate was actually quite a nice man.

Yeah, but you know, he's a psychiatrist,

so he's automatically a creep.
I've seen movies,

they all turn into super
sophisticated, Chianti-loving cannibals.

Wait, have you never been to therapy?
No. Don't need it.

Not even after the
time your wife shot you?

Nope.
What about when you were held at gunpoint

and had to write your own suicide note?

That was crazy. I forgot about that.

Or when you were falsely accused

of bank robbery and went to prison?
Was that a big deal?

You joined a gang and tried meth!

I didn't want to be anyone's bitch.

Look, it sounds like
these things affected you

more than they affected me.
Maybe you should go to therapy.

I do. Terry needs a safe
space to process his emotions.

I go twice a week.
Couples counseling with my dad,

and then a solo sesh with Dr. Tyler.

Okay, unlike Kooky
Charles and Tearful Terry,

I am healthy and don't need therapy.

I hear that.
I don't go to therapy either.

Jake and I are like two penises in a pod.

Damn it, Hitchcock, we talked about this.

It never helps when you back me up.

Let's just go, Charles.

[KNOCK ON THE DOOR]

Come in, Diaz.

How'd you know it was me?
The restrained knock.

Everyone else in this office

plays my door like it's a marimba.

The other day, Jeffords
gave it three taps and two raps.

Was he drunk? Mmm. One can only assume.

Anyway, I wanted to
invite you and Jocelyn

to dinner at my house this weekend.

Kevin will be making his famous rice.

Thank you for the
invite, but I'm not really

having people meet Jocelyn yet.
And I'm still feeling things out with her.

But Boyle says you brought
Jocelyn to Shaw's last week.

That was unplanned. Sure, but now that

the squad has all met her,
surely you can't object to her

having some rice with Kevin and me?

Okay, it's just that you
can be a bit judgmental.

What a stupid thing to say.

Name one time when I
have been judgmental.

Okay. What a stupid thing to say.

Oh, I see. Mere seconds ago.

Sir, Jocelyn is not like us.
She has feelings.

Hmm. Are you positive
this is the woman for you?

That is exactly the type of thing

I don't want you to say in front of her.

Sorry. It's not gonna happen.

Kevin, they're not coming.

Yes, I know you've already
started soaking the rice.

Couldn't we just eat it ourselves?

I understand you purchased
four portions of rice.

Yes, that's a great idea.

We'll eat the extra rice for breakfast.

I love you, as well.

Hey, Sarge. A package was
delivered to my desk downstairs,

addressed to the 99th Precinct,

attention Sergeant, but it's not for me.

It's a book.
Sounds like something you'd order.

[CHUCKLES] "How to Please Your
Wife: 100 Tips to Take Your Sex Life

"From Blah to Ahhhh."

Yeah. That's not mine.

It also shipped with two
gallons of protein powder.

Well, I get my protein from real food.

Twenty-two meals a
day, one every 40 minutes.

It's not a big deal, okay?
Just take the book.

I promise I won't tell anyone.

Hey, Sarge, I heard
you need some sex tips.

Except for the people I already told.

Here's the big one.
Just lie flat on your back.

Women love to do all the work. Ugh!

That's very incorrect,
and I don't need sex tips!

Okay, we'll just leave the book here,

and whoever did order it can
take it when nobody's looking.

It's not mine!
Terry doesn't order books online.

He supports local bookstores.

They're dying, Amy!

Oh! That guy looks like

he's wearing a skin
mask over his own face,

so I'm guessing it's Dr. Tate.

He has a normal man's face, Jake.

Yes, he does have a normal man's face,

stretched out over his own face,

because he is a Hannibal.
Hi, there. Dr. Tate, I presume.

Yes. Hi, nice to meet you.
Which one of you is in charge?

Let the mind games begin. Excuse me?

Sorry, I am Detective Peralta.
This is Detective Boyle. He's in charge.

[EXHALES] Dr. Tate, have you
heard anything from Mrs. Buckley?

No, I haven't, and I'm quite worried.

I received a frantic, disturbing
call from James yesterday.

He was afraid he'd
done something horrible.

I asked him where he was, and he said
he was in the park near the Zen garden.

I suspected he was just
experiencing delusions,

but when they didn't
show up for therapy today,

I became very concerned.
So, you think he killed her

and dumped her body in the park?

Sounds like couples counseling
is going really great for them.

Sorry, my partner
doesn't believe in therapy.

Oh, that's fine. It's hard for some
people. Title of your sex tape.

Are you normally so cavalier
around murder investigations?

Yes, we see a lot of
darkness in our line of work,

and humor is one of
our coping mechanisms.

It's self-preservation
through disassociation.

What the [BLEEP]…

It's something I've been
working on with my therapist.

Well, I act like this

because I'm cool and fun and
people like being around me.

I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to trigger you.

Okay, Doc, you're not in your office.

You don't have to use words
like "triggered" or "in denial."

I didn't say "in denial."

Are you in denial? No, I am not,

and before you say anything, I don't
want to sleep with my mom either.

Now, why would you
bring that up unprompted?

What? You prompted it.
Jake, there's a body over here.

Oh, thank God.

I mean, "Oh, no, death."

I mean, I don't want to
sleep with my mom, okay?

I know this is the wrong
takeaway from this case board,

but I really love the
new yarn you're using.

There are sparkles in it. I noticed.

Okay, so let's go over what we got.
No witnesses, no weapon.

Bruising indicates a struggle.

No conclusive DNA found at the scene

other than from the three
of us who found the body.

And our chief suspect, James
Buckley, has disappeared.

But he has no motive, no criminal record,

and according to his
credit card statement,

had just purchased two sombreros.

Kind of weird to give someone a
sombrero when you're about to murder them.

Both [EMPHASIZING]
sombreros could have been for him.

It's always good to have a
backup [EMPHASIZING] sombrero.

Please stop pronouncing it like that.

What, pronouncing sombreros

-like [EMPHASIZING] sombrero?
-Yes.

Fine, if you want me to
pronounce it the wrong way.

Look, I think James is a good suspect.

We have Dr. Tate's notebooks,
and they specifically mention

that he's been having violent
fantasies for the last few months.

And you want us to just
blindly trust Dr. Tate?

He's a creepy therapist. They all are.

What kind of profession requires a couch?
Lots of them.

My cousin Pam has a
couch in his bird store.

Would you call that creepy? Yes!

Decidedly so.

You always get upset when I bring up Pam.

Whatever. Can we please just
go check out James' apartment?

Mmm.

Hello, gentlemen. How is your day going?

Great.
I just woke up from my morning nap.

[STAMMERS] I mean, my morning nap.

Oh, it's fine.
It's good to be rested at work.

Okay. Are you trying to prove
that you can be nonjudgmental?

Rosa, I didn't see you there.

I was just having a friendly
chat with my employees.

So, boys, tell me, what
are you doing this weekend?

Well, we're going to a sauce
launch party at Wing Slutz.

Sounds like a neat cultural event.

They're introducing a new
dairy-based sauce called Cream Dream.

Mmm.

And everyone who
comes gets a free bucket.

You want to know what that's called?

Of course, I do. No, you don't.

None of us do. You proved your point.

If you want to meet Jocelyn
so bad, you can. You win.

Okay, well, that's Friday night.
Now, every Saturday morning,

we go to the public baths.
I get it. You lead colorful lives.

Let's end this, shall we?

Okay, so the neighbors say
they haven't seen or heard

any activity in the
Buckleys' apartment, and…

What is he doing here?

If we find James, and he's
unstable, Dr. Tate could talk him down.

-Hello, Peralta.
-BOYLE: Plus, on the ride over,

he gave me a quickie. A what?

A quick therapy session.
We talked about so much.

Did you know that I have a
tendency to be unconsciously sexual?

Yes. It's a real tough nut to bust.

You're doing it again.

Oh, okay, I think I hear it.

You think you hear it?
Whatever, let's just do this, okay?

NYPD, open up.

That's weird. The door is unlocked.

That's too bad.
I love watching you pound one out.

Charles. What? That was sexual?

Which part? All of the parts!

All right, you stay here.
Charles, we're going in.

Bedroom's clear. The kitchen's clear.

-Did you see anything suspicious?
-PERALTA: Nothing,

except for these laughing
Jesus paintings everywhere.

-Why is he in front of a tepee?
-BOYLE: I don't know.

The one in the kitchen has him at
the last supper, but all the apostles

are McDonald's characters.
Which one's Judas?

The Hamburglar. The Hamburglar.

Knew it as soon as I asked.
You check the bathroom?

No, where is it? It's right over there.

Clear. Cool. Cool. Cool.

Well, Dr. Tate, we will
meet you back at the car.

We just want to check some
things out for one more minute.

Did you notice that?

The painting in the bathroom
of Jesus standing over a vent

with his robe blowing
up like Marilyn Monroe?

[WHISPERS] No. Dr. Tate is the killer.

Hey, Santiago. Hey.

Can you help me put up
these flyers around the office?

Mmm-hmm.

"Lost sex book. Delivered by accident

"to Sergeant Jeffords,
who doesn't need it."

Terry, come on.
Nobody cares about your sex life.

Just take the book home.

[LAUGHING]

Take someone else's book home?

That's stealing and mail fraud.

I can't believe you
would even suggest that.

Look, I think it's so great that
you've been married so long

and want to keep it fresh.

I hope Jake does that for me
if our sex life ever takes a dip.

Dip? Oh, there is no dip.

Just ask Sharon. Oh, no, please.

I don't want to do that.
That's not necessary.

It's okay. I believe you. Hey, hon.

Yeah, could you tell Amy
how good I am in bed?

Because I'm a sex machine who…

Oh! On speaker?

[AWKWARDLY] Oh, hey, girls.
How was school?

Why do you think Dr. Tate's the murderer?

He already knew where the bathroom was.

He's clearly been here before.

Well, he probably just
guessed, because it's obvious.

This is New York.
It's never obvious where the bathroom is.

I once had an apartment where the
toilet was literally in the refrigerator.

Hmm. I bet he was sleeping with Susan.

Therapists are always having
affairs with their patients.

That's not true. Oh, really?

Tell that to the ten
minutes of Bikini Shrink

I watched on Cinemax when I was 13.

Dr. Juggs was insatiable.

James was ill. We have months of notes

saying he was increasingly unstable.

First of all, people with mental illness

are much more likely to be
the victims than the perpetrators.

I heard that on NPR when I was in the
room while Amy was listening to NPR.

And second, I bet
Dr. Tate's notes are fake.

I mean, you know what
was in Dr. Juggs' notes?

What? Stick figures doing it.

What does that prove?
I don't know, but it was hot.

All I'm saying is, something
feels suspicious to me here.

Maybe we should go to Dr. Tate's office

and see if we can find
the missing notebooks.

Wait, you're basing this all on the fact
that he knew where a bathroom was?

And his DNA was at the scene
where we discovered the body.

I bet that's why he insisted
on coming with us to the park.

You've been weird about
Dr. Tate from the start.

To me, the evidence suggests
that James killed his wife and fled.

It's my case, and that's
the lead we're following.

Okay.

You're right. I'm sorry.
I was being unfair. It's your case.

You call in an APB, and I will
meet you back at the precinct.

I'm just gonna swing by the bank.

You're not gonna go to Dr. Tate's office

and search it behind my back, are you?

What? Charles, no.

I wouldn't do that.
You can trust me. Okay, I trust you.

Good. You should. Well, I do.

Great, because you can.
I feel good about it.

Good, you should.
I think it's the right choice.

You're making the
right call by trusting me.

Not.

Wayne's World. Sweet.

[GRUNTS]

All right, think.
Where would I hide the real notebook

if I was a creepy therapist?

In my butt. [CHUCKLES]

Focus, Jake.
Now is not the time for being hilarious.

What have we here?

James and Susan Buckley.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION IN THE HALLWAY]

So, your day's been going well?
It has, it has.

PERALTA: They're blocking my way out.

A cancellation and so I was
able to get more work done.

Yeah. Well, that's always nice.

Same thing happened to me yesterday.

Is that right?
Yeah, two cancellations. You know?

At least it wasn't three.

Have a good afternoon. You too.

Okay. See you in the morning.

Oh! Um… Can I help you? Yes.

I am…

Your new patient. Garrett?

Garrett!

Is my name, yes.

You're an hour and a half early.

I know.
I have problems with time management.

That's the issue I want to talk about.

On the phone, you said you were concerned

you might have multiple
personality disorder.

Yeah, that too.

Got butt loads of peeps
living in my brain. No doubt…

We should talk about it.

I can't believe it's taken
so long for us to meet.

You're so nice.
Oh, I don't know about that, Jocelyn.

I'm just being myself.

Well, you're very sweet
about the cosmetology thing.

A lot of people are
dismissive of hairstylists.

It makes no sense.
If we didn't have hairstylists

to cut our hair, our hair
would be far too long.

Wow. Great compliment. Hey.

You're the girl from the
diarrhea commercial, aren't you?

You get diarrhea on the plane.
That's not true.

Yeah, move along.
I don't get diarrhea on the plane.

I get diarrhea in the airport.

What's going on?

Are you…

An actor?

Well, you don't have
to sound so grossed out.

I can see why you didn't
want him meeting Jocelyn.

Excuse me? This isn't Jocelyn.

It's Sheena. She's an actress.

SHEENA: Yeah, I was in an episode of SVU.

I say, "We want answers."
The director tried to replace me,

but Mariska said it
would take too much time,

and then they all agreed
I'd probably cut together fine.

Look, Diaz, I've obviously
misread our relationship.

You didn't want me to
meet the real Jocelyn

because we're not as
close as I thought we were.

So,

message received.

Hey, so you don't by any
chance need any Molly, do you?

I'm a cop. And scene.

Now I'm out of character,
and I don't sell any drugs.

I am leaving.

So, Garrett, where
would you like to begin?

You know what, can
we crack the door a little?

I get very claustrophobic,

probably from all the different
people living in my head.

We usually keep it closed for privacy,
but whatever makes you comfortable.

Thank you.

Damn it, he's still here. Excuse me?

Hmm? Uh…

I was just talking to
another one of the voices.

Is it Tatiana? Who now?

The mischievous
seven-year-old British girl

you told me about on the phone?
May I speak with her?

Uh…

[IMITATES TATIANA] Yes?

Hello, Doctor.

I'm from Wussex.

Is that an actual place in England?
How should I know?

I'm just a little girl, I am, I am.

Well, it's nice to speak
with you, Tatiana.

Can I say hello to Brian, the
bookkeeper from Central London?

[IMITATES BRIAN] Cheers, I'm Brian.

I like bookkeeping right
in the middle of London.

Did I tell you a full list
of my many personalities

when I called you
on the ol' telly, innit?

Yes, you did.
And are any of them, hopefully,

-not from England?
-There's Geoffrey.

You said he's Australian.

Oh… [IMITATES GEOFFREY] Crikey!

Hey, Sarge. I saw the flyers.

You really put a lot of them up, huh?

I just want to make extra sure
we find the real book-buyer.

Do you think it's this
kind of overcompensation

that's been making things
difficult in the bedroom?

Oh, I don't compensate.

I procreate. Three kids.

Okay.

Weird brag. Look, just take the book.
Nobody cares.

Hey, I just saw this.

-I think you have my book.
-[LAUGHS] Really?

Told ya!

But you're not even married, Scully.

I'm in a committed relationship,

and Cindy Shatz says I'm a selfish lover.

All right, well, what
about the protein powder?

I'm trying to get ripped.
I drink, like, six shakes a day,

but nothing's happening.
Do you also exercise?

What? You're supposed to exercise?

You know, keep the powder.

I'll drink normal milkshakes.

And you thought that was my book.

[LAUGHS] Shame on you, Amy.

Shame on you.

You got the book?

You should know, things
are good with Sharon.

I just want to make sure we're
as happy in our relationship

as we can be. That's nice, Sarge.

Sorry you had to embarrass yourself.
Not a big deal.

I guess I just don't care
what other people think of me.

That's actually pretty inspiring.
I wish I was more like that.

Yeah. Now, if you'll excuse me.

Whoa, whoa!

Hey! Hey!
You're not gonna wait for me to leave?

Like I said,

I just don't care.

Well, Garrett, our time is up.

Shall we pick up here next week?

No, I can't go.

There's still someone left
inside that wants to talk.

Do you mean Satchel, the
gentle African-American man

who was born in 1908?

Oh, no, you know what?

Satchel probably shouldn't
come out right now.

Or ever, for that matter.
Garrett, I can only help you

if you open up.

[SIGHS]

[IMITATES SATCHEL] And then Dufresne

escaped through the
tunnels of Shawshank Prison.

He was my friend.

Are you just doing Morgan Freeman?

[NORMAL VOICE] Ah! Yes! You calling me
on it just gave me a major breakthrough.

I'm cured! Anyway, deuces, Doc!

[SIGHS]

I've got you now, you son of a bitch.

-Hello, Peralta.
-[YELLS]

You really thought you
could sneak around my office

without me noticing, huh?

How'd you know I was in there?

Your shampoo left an odor.

I could smell you.

I knew it!

You're a Hannibal.

DR. TATE: Pull over right here.
Cut the engine.

Why are you doing this?

Because you found my notebooks,

and I assume you've deduced
what I did to Susan and James.

You killed James, too?

Oops.
I guess you only deduced the Susan part.

But it doesn't matter.

You never would have thought
that James was a suspect.

He was such a kind and gentle man.

So, why did you kill them?

Well, because they were gonna tell people

about my affair with Susan,

and ruin my career. I knew it.

I had to do it for the
sake of my other patients.

You know, there are a lot of people
who depend on me for their well-being.

Yeah, except for the
ones that you murder.

That's only happened twice.
It's happened before?

The Rothmans. Nobody misses them.

You really are a terrible therapist.

Oh, wow! Strong words for someone

who is clearly scared to
talk about his own issues.

I'm not scared, okay?

For example, I had an issue
with texting while driving,

but I fixed it. Now I just don't
look at my phone while I type.

Case in point. Just know that you
died without saying anything real.

Okay, okay, okay! Stop.

Fine, you want something real?

I tried therapy.
It only made things worse.

Uh-huh. Go on.

When I was a kid, I
was acting out at school,

so they made me and my
parents do family counseling,

but instead of helping
me with my problems,

the stupid therapist just
brought up all my parents' issues.

And once it was all out in the open,

they fought all the time
and eventually got divorced,

and everything good in
my life just went away.

Interesting. So, you actually blame
yourself for your parents' divorce?

No, I blame the therapy,

which we only had to do because I…

Oh, my God.

I do blame myself.

Here come the waterworks.

Excuse me, do you
have a less crinkly dollar

I could trade you for? Of course, I do.

None of my dollars has a single crinkle.

When they do, I steam them.

Oh!

Wow, that is crisp.

Can't wait to get this baby
home and flatten it out.

Almonds, nice choice. Oh, thanks.

They're not for me.
They're for my girlfriend, Detective Diaz.

Oh, you must be Jocelyn.

What? No, I'm Denise.

Who's Jocelyn? Is Rosa cheating on me?

Oh, my…

No, that was a joke.
I'm sorry, I thought it would be funny.

I am Jocelyn.

Oh! That was actually very funny.

I didn't know what was happening,

and then I thought I
knew what was happening,

but what I thought I knew was happening

wasn't what was happening.

That's very good.

You must be Captain Holt. Hmm.

Hey. Hey.

Uh, can you give us a second, babe?
Yeah, I'll wait out there.

Pleasure to meet you, Captain.

So, this is Jocelyn?

I'm glad you got to meet her.
For the record,

I wasn't keeping her from
you because I was afraid

you were gonna hurt her
feelings by being judgy.

I think it's hilarious when you're judgy.

It's because I was afraid
you weren't gonna like her.

You and I are close, and I…

I value your opinion.

Well, she seems great,
in our limited interaction.

Maybe you could get to know her
better over Kevin's rice this weekend?

That would be great.

You might want to save your girlfriend.
She's talking to Hitchcock.

Damn it! Hitchcock!

So, I joke about my father so much

to avoid processing all
the pain he's caused me.

Yes. You are doing such great work here.

I'm really feeling it. Yeah.

Now, I'm sorry, but our
session is coming to a close.

I guess I'll have to bill your widow.

Wow, that is cold-blooded,

but I got to hand it to you,
it's a pretty dope kill line.

Unfortunately, no one
will be billed, though.

Isn't that right, Charles?

Hi, Dr. Tate! What? How did he…

Told you I could text
without looking at my phone.

Let's go.

Oh, man, I am so glad you got
my message with the location.

Pretty impressive, right?
Well, actually, you just texted

a bunch of crazy, weird, random letters.

It made me concerned,
so I tracked your phone.

Well, still pretty good.
I found you in my contacts.

It went to Amy. She forwarded it to me.

It worked. Let's stop talking about it.
Listen, I'm sorry.

I guess you were right
about the therapist.

Yeah, well, that's nice
of you to say, Charles,

but actually, when I
was stalling Dr. Tate,

I started talking about
my parents' divorce,

and it felt really good.

I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but…

I think I'm gonna make an
appointment with a shrink.

Jake, that is so great.

And I know a guy who's really good.

You will love having him inside of you.

Okay.

What?

Oh, come on, mister.

Grow up.
Get your mind out of the gutter, ya perv!