All language subtitles for Brooklyn.Nine-Nine.S05E11.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Thank you, Margaret.
You're welcome, Raymond.

Seamus Murphy. That's right.

Remember how I saved
your detectives from prison

in exchange for a favor?

The time has come…
Wait, this isn't my order.

What? This is an omelet.

I only eat omelets on vacation.

Yeah, I don't care what you eat.

I'm here to call in the
favor that you owe me.

Really? What if I say no?

This is you asking me for intel

and promising to pay me back.

How do you think this
would look to your bosses,

especially now that you're
up for the commissioner job?

Yeah. I know everything.

So, what do you want from me?

A permit to throw a block party?

We don't even have to break the law.

This is fantastic news.

I am not giving Seamus
Murphy that permit.

He only wants to use the block party

as a cover for something criminal,

a robbery, a murder, or something worse.

You don't know that for
sure, and that's your loophole.

I don't believe in loopholes.

What? Loopholes are the best.

Remember that time
when Pancake Palace had

that all-you-can-eat deal,
but they didn't set a time limit?

I ate pancakes for a week for $3.99.

All I had to do was sleep
there and never shower.

What? Thanks for the invite, friend.

I will not be using a loophole, Peralta.

As always, I'll be using
the main hole or no hole.

I choose no hole.

You just said "hole" way too much, sir.

And that's coming from Charles.

Yes, that's concerning.

Ugh, you think you know someone, Jake.

Unbelievable!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Captain, we think we found a way for you

to do Murphy the favor
and still live with yourself.

Sounds like a loophole.

Nope, we found the main
hole, and it is open for business.

Oh, gross. Yep, sorry.

Look, you don't want to
give Murphy the permit

because you're afraid
he's gonna use it as a cover

for something illegal,
but what if we figured out

what he was up to and could
stop him before he did it?

That way you could give him
the permit with a clean conscience.

Well, how are you gonna
find out what his real plan is?

He's smart, and he doesn't
talk to anyone but his family.

I was worried about that, too,

but that's when I remembered,

The Godfather.

The Diane Keaton movie.

No one refers to it as that,

but Charles is right, she is in it.

This isn't one of your
movie plans, is it?

First of all, if we had
developed a Minority Report-style

pre-crime division like I suggested,

we wouldn't be in this Seamus mess,

and it's not just because I wanted
to go like this, although I did.

But secondly, in The Godfather,

Don Corleone had three
sons: Michael, his favorite…

Diane Keaton's husband. Mmm-kay.

Then there was Sonny, the hothead.

Diane Keaton's brother-in-law.
Charles, you're being distracting.

No, he's not, he's actually
helping me to follow this.

Continue going through
Diane Keaton's relatives.

Fine, Diane Keaton's
other brother-in-law is Fredo,

the screw-up, the weak link.

And you think the Murphys have a Fredo?

Every family does,

and in this family, his name is Kyle.

-HOLT: Is he on a roller coaster?
-PERALTA: Yes.

It's his driver's license photo somehow.

He's never had a job, he took six years

to graduate high school,
and his father paid $200,000

so he could attend the
University of Arizona.

Lake Havasu campus.

[WHISTLES] Sir, this kid is a disaster.

If there's anyone
that's gonna give us info

on the Murphy family
and slip up, it's Kyle.

Okay, but if you don't
figure out what his plan is,

I don't give him that permit.

Understood? Yes, sir.

All right, go make contact

with Diane Keaton's brother-in-law.

Fredo. It's Fredo.

It's one of the most
popular movies of all time.

Won best picture, so.

Ready for a kick-ass assignment?
Hell, yeah.

Let's do this.

Wait, what do you mean by "kick-ass"?

Holt wants us to get
that block party permit.

[SCOFFS] Damn it.

I guess I'll take the
knife out of my pants.

No, come on, Rosa. It'll be so cool.

We get to go to SAPO,

the Street Activity Permit Office.

It is the oldest continuously
operating permit office

in the state.

Pass. Find somebody else.

But we promised to help Captain Holt.

Look, it'll be quick.

We'll just go, get Murphy his permit,

and maybe grab a few shots for the 'Gram.

They have the original permits
for the 1939 World's Fair.

-No.
-Yes!

-No.
-[SQUEAKS] Yes!

No, I mean, "No, I
don't want to do this."

No, yeah, come on. We're gonna do it.

Hey, Gina. How's it feel to be back?

Any trouble adjusting? Adjusting to what?

To life as a working mom.

You have to juggle the baby,

the job, your new business.

Terry, juggling isn't hard.

That's why the salary
for jugglers is so low.

Name one rich juggler.

Doesn't Dave Coulter juggle?

If you're reaching for Coulter,

then you've already lost
the argument, Terr-Bear.

But there is one thing,

I need a private place where I can pump.

I was thinking maybe I
could take this whole floor

and you guys could move
down to that place where we park.

The garage?
Sure, if you think that works.

Well, there's an empty
office behind Records.

It's nice and quiet.

We can put in a comfy
chair, maybe a mini fridge.

Uh, that would be a no-go, Sarge.

That's our nap room. She needs to pump.

-The room is hers.
-SCULLY: Whoa.

That escalated fast.

Okay. There's our Fredo.

He comes in here every
day at noon, for some reason.

Hey, change the channel, dude.

Finding Bigfoot is starting.

[TV CLICKS]

All right, let's go over
our covers one more time.

We are small-time operators

that just moved here from Miami.

We piloted go-fast boats,
moving contraband to Cuba.

Where we slept with the same prostitute.

No. And she said you were

the best she ever had. Maybe.

And I should watch you to learn.

Back to no.
Let's just not talk about our sex lives.

All right, we've got a week,

so we can ease our way into this thing.

Let's not blow it by engaging right away.

Oh, no. We made eye contact.

He's coming over here.
We're engaging right away.

Hey, what's going on?

I saw you guys staring at me.

What? No, no, no, no, no.

We were just looking
at the TV behind you.

We love Finding Bigfoot.

It's our favorite show. Yeah.

I mean, why haven't
they caught him yet, right?

Totally.

I mean, he's so big.
You'd think it'd be easy.

Yeah. Yes.

Oh, my God, I'm feeling
a real connection here.

Should we hang out
sometime, or am I being crazy?

You're not being crazy, Kyle.

How do you know my name?

Because we're so connected.

[LAUGHING] Oh!

Yes! What?

KYLE: So, this is my pad.

TV room, recording studio
where I lay down my raps.

And this is where the magic happens.

It's where I practice doing magic.

Oh, so literally, then.

Love all the lamps. Thanks.

I accidentally ordered
100 lamps instead of one.

They only give you, like, a
six-month return window, so.

-You get it.
-PERALTA: Totally.

Man, this place is huge.

How do you afford it?

Do you have, like, a
great job or family money?

Yeah, lots of it, I'm part
of the Murphy crime family.

BOTH: Oh. Aw, damn it.

I am not supposed to say that.

We're not a crime family, okay?

We're a cream family.

Dude, it's fine.

Honestly, we're also involved in cream.

Organized cream. Cool, cool.

Hey, just checking, you
guys mean crime, right?

Yes. Okay, good, right, go on.

Well, we're actually looking
for some work right now.

We just got into town from Miami.

Where we didn't sleep
with the same prostitute.

Yes, anyways, do you think
your family needs any help?

Any big jobs coming up?
Uh, wouldn't know.

They don't tell me anything.
They're mad at me.

What? Why?
I used to drive for my uncle Seamus.

One day, he had this big cream meeting…

We don't have to keep doing that.

Okay, cool. He was torturing some guy.

Anyway, I was waiting
in his favorite car,

a white 1980 Rolls-Royce,

but he was taking forever,

so I decided to go catch a
matinee of Suicide Squad.

And he was pissed that
you drove off in the car?

No, obviously I left the Rolls there

with the keys in the
ignition in case he needed it,

but guess what happened?

BOTH: It got stolen.

Oh, my God. How'd you guys know?

We're just connected, Kyle.

[CHUCKLES] Team Bigfoot.

BOTH: Team Bigfoot!

Anyway, they kicked me out
of the family business for good.

Apparently, I'm a "liability"
and "worthless" and "Kyle."

The last one is just my name,
but you should hear their tone.

So, you don't know about anything

that's going down at all?

No, but if you know anyone

who's looking to buy
a lamp for really cheap,

I know a guy.

Oh, Kyle. Yeah, that's it.

That's how they say it.

[GROANS] This is taking forever.

Can't you just forge the signatures?

I'm a notary, Rosa.

You can't say stuff like that around me.

I could lose my stamp over that.

I've never met anyone who cares so much

about stupid bureaucracy.

Bureaucracy is not stupid.

It's elegant.

It's a beautiful puzzle

waiting to be cracked.

Every rule, every form has its purpose.

It all fits together,

and when the puzzle is solved

and you take a step back
and see the big picture,

it's like staring into the face of God.

Hey.

We moved up a spot. Oh.

You seem like a real nerd.

Hello, Muriel.

Another day in paradise?

She actually means that.
Please don't be offended.

Great. What do you want?

To apply for a block party permit.

Here is form 1290.

Oh, wait, you trying to
get a permit for this Friday?

You would need… 1290-B expedited request,

and a 1021-J adjustment waiver

and a sweet, sweet P-28-P supplemental.

Right. There's just one problem.

What? No. I did absolutely everything.

The 1021-J has to be submitted

with an approved 1290.

But I'm submitting the 1021-J
to get the 1290 approved.

That doesn't make any sense.

I guess it doesn't.

Okay. Okay, okay.

This is just a puzzle,
and I can figure it out.

To get an approved 1290,

I need an approved 1021-J,

which I can't get without
an approved 1290,

which I can't get without
an approved 1021-J,

which I can't get without
an approved 1290,

which I can't get without
an approved 1021-J,

which I can't get without
an approved 1290,

which I can't get without
an approved 1021-J…

Okay. She's in a loop.

You broke her brain.
I'm gonna take her out of here.

…which I can't get
without an approved 1290,

which I can't get without…

Sarge, Hitchcock and I just
uncovered something huge.

You solved a crime?
What? That's insane, no.

It's about our nap room.

Guess how long Gina's been pumping for?

I don't want to… The last hour.

Now, everyone knows

Gina's using a Nodella Harmony Breastpump

with 2-Phase Expression Technology

for faster milk expression.

You shouldn't know so much
about breastpumps, Hitchcock.

Well, you should know more about

what's going on in your precinct.

Given the Nodella's exceptional flow,

there's no way she needs to be pumping

more than 20 minutes a side.

Wow, you didn't even say "breast."

Yeah, because I'm not a child.

I need my afternoon nap.

Okay, what are you guys trying to say?

Come with us.

Where's Gina?

She just left the pump
running and disappeared.

You got played so hard.

You cuck.

So, did you make contact
with Murphy's weak link?

Diane Keaton's brother-in-law? Yes.

We're real tight, but unfortunately,

he's such a weak link, his
family won't tell him anything.

So that's it, then.

We have no idea what
Murphy's really up to?

I can't morally give him
that permit, so it's over.

Wait. We still have time.

Maybe there's a way to get
Kyle back in with his family.

Like, what if…

Ooh, Jake's wheels are turning.

Your brain baby is crowning.

Boyle, please. That's disgusting.

No, it's helping.
I am having a brain baby.

Then push, man, push. Breathe.

You can do this. You are so strong.

Ah, got it!

Kyle's uncle cut him off
because of that stolen car, right?

But what if we could find that car

and have Kyle give it back to him?

Then all is forgiven.
Kyle's back in the family.

Right, but how do we find that car?

We just did a big sweep
of Brooklyn chop shops.

Maybe Seamus's car is one of them.

Maybe it's in the impound lot.

Yes.

[KEYS CLACKING]

Okay. Put in my password.

[KEYS CLACKING]

Yes, it's in the impound lot!

My brain baby's a genius. It's a miracle.

DIAZ: Who's this lady we're meeting?

The source, Florence Tinj.

She ran the rules and regs
department for 30 years.

She wrote the forms.

She has touched every life in this city.

Not mine. Yeah-huh.

Haven't you ever filled out a
mileage reimbursement form?

No, dude, I make you do those for me.

Right, I'm so grateful to you for that.

Anyway, she's the only
person that can figure this out.

She understands the bureaucracy

on a level that we
mortals can't even fathom.

[KNOCKS]

[GASPS] Florence Tinj.

What? Detectives Diaz and Santiago, NYPD,

-and I just want to say…
-[CATS YOWLING]

Those cats are having sex.

Yeah.

Uh, can you explain these forms to us?

SANTIAGO: They seem logically flawed.

At first, I thought it was a mistake,

but then I thought, "There's
something deeper at play here."

No, it's a mistake.

They don't work. What?

But you wouldn't design a
form that literally can't be filed.

Yeah, I would. I did it all the time.

Mostly out of spite,
but also incompetence.

Plus, I just found out I'm dyslexic.

Okay. Thank you for your time.

Good luck with all your,
uh, hoarding, Florence.

[CAT MEOWS]

Okay, we're supposed to
pick up Kyle in a minute.

We can't just bring him
straight to his uncle's Rolls,

or it'll seem suspicious,
so we gotta figure out

a way to make him notice it on his own.

What if you drive by and I yell,

"Those two birds are having sex!"

He'll obviously want to see that,

and when he looks, voila.
The car's right there.

Or I could just drive by it very slowly.

Ah, also a good plan. Okay, let's do it.

So, that's when it hits
me: savory dinner cereal.

[LAUGHS] Oh, my God. What?

Instead of it being
cold, what if I heat it up?

Unless, is that just soup?

[SIGHS] It is. You know what?

I think I left my wallet at home.

I'm just gonna turn around.

KYLE: Dude, look.

My favorite gamer
just uploaded a new vid,

and his mom is in this one.

[LAUGHS]

Then Tom Cruise hang
glides in with a machine gun

and he's like, "This is my party now!"

[MIMICS GUNFIRE]

Anyway, if I could make a movie,

that's how it would start.

Kyle, look, two birds are having sex!

What? Where? Aw, man, I missed it.

Well, let's just turn around again.

KYLE: Where are those birds?

Still no humping birds. Damn it.

We're never gonna see those birds.

Look behind that 1980 white Rolls-Royce.

Ugh, I wish that stupid car would move.

Kyle, isn't that your uncle's car?

Oh, my God. Dude!

[LAUGHS] I did it.

I found it. I found my uncle's car.

[LAUGHS] Victory dance, whoo!

Oh, no, wait, stop! Don't dance in the…

Oh, Fredo.

I think I got hit!

Okay. Why are you barefoot?

I'm violating uniform conduct code 773

because the rules are pointless

because they were written
by a hoarder who doesn't care.

Same here. Fight the power.

We can't give up now. Not when
Captain Holt's career is on the line.

We have to get that permit.

How? The forms don't make any sense.

I mean, is anything even real?

No. Odds are we exist
in a computer simulation,

but I don't have time to
go down that rabbit hole.

Look, the fact that these
forms are broken is a good thing.

It means there are many mistakes.

Mistakes we can exploit. That's right.

This is every form SAPO
has put out for 100 years.

We have to read every
single one and look for

miniscule mistakes that
will help us get that permit.

So you ready for a kick-ass assignment?

Hell, yeah.

Let's do this.

Hey, why'd you want to meet out here?

Because we have a huge surprise for you.

You found my birth mother?

What? No.

The surprise isn't
gonna be as good as that.

I'm sorry I let you guess but…

-[CAR HORN HONKS]
-[LAUGHS]

Yeah, after we dropped
you at the hospital,

we went back and stole it for you.

Now you can give it to your uncle.

Oh, my God.

He's gonna finally let
me back in the family.

Fabien, Marco,

I don't know how I can ever repay you.

Oh, don't worry about it. It was nothing.

No, it was everything.

You guys believe in me,
and honestly, it saved my life.

Remember the other day
at the bar when we first met?

I was all alone and having
some pretty dark thoughts.

Really? Yeah.

I was ready to just, uh, give up.

Oh, no, Kyle. On my rap career.

Oh, went somewhere
different than I thought.

I'm glad that you kept rapping?

Thanks.
You're the two best dudes I've ever known.

That's nice. And hey, guess what?

You did find my birth mother. Nope.

I was gonna say you're a great guy, too,

but I'm sorry I keep teeing that up.

But you're looking for her?

Sure.

Oh, hello, Muriel.

Ugh. The block party girls.

Look, I told you, your forms don't work.

You're not getting the permit.

Right, but we had a
different permit in mind.

This is form 8, as in the eighth form

ever written for the city of New York.

Those old forms are
all out of circulation.

They should be, but
someone made a mistake,

and this one was never
officially decertified.

Which means it's still valid,
which means you have to process it.

"Street closure request for the
public humiliation of loose women."

And, as you can see, you are required

to expedite processing for
the fee of one hay penny.

Keep the change.

Okay, but it says here that the form…

Must be submitted by a man.

I know. It's a huge bummer.

But also… Hi, there.

I'd like to humiliate some
hussies, and I'm in a hurry.

Pumping hard or hardly pumping, Gina?

Where were you?

Uh, just so we're on the same page,

how long have you been here,

i.e., how elaborate
does my lie need to be?

An hour. Okay.

The CIA contacted me, and there's some…

Gina, you cannot use pumping
as an excuse to slack off.

I wasn't slacking off.

Well, you weren't here.

Man, I was trying to help you.

Ugh. I know. I'm sorry, I went home.

I was missing Iggy
and I wanted to see her.

Oh, well, you could've just told me.

Yeah, but I was embarrassed.

I thought I'd be as incredible
at being a working mom

as I am at everything else I do.

Dancing, public speaking,
capoeira, ghost hunting…

You don't have to keep
listing things you're good at.

Earring-making, cabinet renovation.

But juggling things is hard.

I feel like a failure.
I feel like a Coulter.

No, you're not a Coulter, Gina.

Look, being a working parent is hard.

When my twins were born, I made Sharon

keep the phone on all day
just so I could listen to them.

One month, I used 25,000 minutes.

I'm sorry.

I just realized I told you it
sucks and there's no solution.

Oh, that's okay.

It's kind of nice to hear this
kind of thing from another parent,

so thank you.

You know, I don't even
think Dave Coulter juggles.

I Googled it. He doesn't.

Man, what a trip.

Rap, rap, spitting rhymes

Kissing shorties on the lips

Have no fear, Mr. Rap is here

And he will drink three beers

I wish he would turn the radio down.

You think that's the radio?

That sounds like
professional music to you?

All music after Mahler
sounds exactly like that.

Now, how do we expect Kyle
to transfer the bug to Seamus?

I got him a very
expensive bottle of whiskey

to give to his uncle as a gift.

The transmitter's in the cork.

We planned for everything.

[GRUNTS]

Oops.

What was that?
He broke the bottle. He Fredo'd it.

Oh, so you didn't plan for everything?

You forgot to idiot-proof the bottle.

Well, perhaps you want
to idiot-proof your criticism,

because I got him a backup
bottle with a backup bug.

It's a good thing I had another one.

Oh, no. God!

And there goes the backup bottle.

Right, except for one thing,

I also put a bug in the keys.

Of course he did.

Guy's got more bugs up
his sleeve than Oogie Boogie.

Don't get the reference.
Nightmare Before Christmas.

Oh. Shh, shh, shh.

They're talking. Hey, Uncle Seamus.

These are for you.

You found my Rolls.

[LAUGHS] I'm impressed.

Hey, welcome back to the family, huh?

We got a lot of catching up to do.

Well done. Thank you both.

We did it. We reunited a family.

Is this what it feels like to be Oprah?

[SCOFFS] You wish.

Okay, here's what we found out

from the bug that we placed.

Seamus is planning
on stealing $20 million

in bearer bonds from an armored truck.

As we speak, the block
party is in full swing.

Oh, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Here you go.

BOYLE: Turns out, he only wanted a permit

so the street would be closed down,

forcing the armored truck to divert

down a narrow abandoned alley.

PERALTA: It's the perfect
place for an ambush,

but we changed the truck's schedule,

so they hadn't picked up the bonds yet.

Hey, there's nothing in here.

That truck is as empty

as Jackson Browne's running surface.

Empty? Running on Empty?

He sings that song. "Running surface"?

Okay, so Terry didn't like it. Charles?

Don't make me do this, Jake.

Whatever.
The point is, the truck is empty.

So we did it.
I can't believe it's all wrapped up.

Do you even know what we did?

No. Just feeling out how
close we were to calling it a day.

Soon, Scully. Now that Captain Holt

has repaid his debt without
compromising his stupid moral compass,

the only thing left is for
him to get his tape back,

which should be
happening right about now.

Oh. Your block party's going well.

Wasn't as much fun
as I hoped it would be,

but, um, you lived up to
your end of the bargain, so…

I'm a man of my word.

As am I.

Your tape.

You ever want to do business
again, my door is always open.

Well, you should close
it, lest you get moths.

Good day.

-[DOOR CLOSES]
-Hey, there, sir.

[IRISH ACCENT] Top of the mornin' to you.

Oh, no. What's wrong?

Why do you always assume
something's wrong when I come in here?

Couldn't I be bringing you good news?

Are you? No, something's terribly wrong.

It's Seamus. What do you mean?

Forensics confirmed
the tape he made of me

was never copied. We're in the clear.

It's not about that.

I was checking our
bug, and I overheard him

talking about what went wrong
with the armored car heist.

He's pinning the blame on…

Kyle. It has to be him.

Everything was going great until he
suddenly reappeared out of the blue.

I bet that dum-dum ran his mouth,

and that is the last time
he screws over this family.

He's gonna pay.

Did he say what he would do to him?

No, they ran over a huge
pothole and then complained

about de Blasio for the next hour.

Yes, he needs to do
something about the roads.

Look, I don't specifically know

they're gonna do something bad to Kyle.

They might just lightly beat
him up, so we could do nothing.

We could take the loophole.

You do love loopholes.

I know we just put Seamus behind us,

but unfortunately, you've
made me a better person.

I think we have to help Kyle.

Good.

I'm proud of you.

Oh. [SNIFFLES]

Sorry, it's just…

You said you're proud of
me, that's my tear trigger.

All right.
Let's go save Kyle before the dam breaks.

Hello, Seamus. Hello, Raymond.

So, apparently, NYPD police came today

to arrest my nephew Kyle
for unpaid parking violations.

And you want me to,
what, clear his record?

I've already done my favor.

No, I know it's a cover.

I know he's in protective custody

because he helped you
stop my armored car play.

I don't know what you're talking about.

No?
You asked me for a permit, and I got it.

I've paid my debt.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a bowl of mush to enjoy.

You're right. You don't owe me anything.

But I owe you.

And what, exactly, does that mean?

That means you mess with my family,

I mess with yours.

You tell your husband,
Kevin, I'll see him real soon.