All language subtitles for Brooklyn.Nine-Nine.S04E16.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

Good morning, everyone.

Oh, my goodness. Sarge!

What are the chances?

I'd say zero.

[SIGHS] I mean, when Genevieve
got me these suspenders,

I thought I'd lean into it
and go for the whole look.

But I didn't wanna step on your toes.

That being said, you
know what this means?

Don't do this, Charles.

Oh, it's already done.

Gather round, y'all.
It's time to play, "Who wore it best?"

I'd really rather not.

Because you're a little chicken?

Who wore it best?
Who wore it best? Who wore it best?

ALL: Terry.

What? Come on!

You should change, Boyle.

[SIGHS] Fine.

Not here!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, Peralta. How's it going, man?

Pretty good, thanks for asking.

Cool, cool, cool. So, how's it going?

Uh, still pretty good.
Nothing has changed.

Nah, I hadn't heard about that.

All right, you're clearly
not listening to me.

I can say whatever I want.
Tell me about it.

I murdered Charles this weekend.
I feel you.

Now, that I have the taste for
blood, I can't stop murdering.

Been there. Okay, Sarge. Sarge.

Jake, when'd you get here? Wow.

I'm sorry. I'm just trying to see

if Captain Holt is done
with his meeting yet.

So, how's it going?

Okay. We've been over this. I'm pretty
good. Why are you acting so weird?

I'm nervous.
I'm gonna talk to Captain Holt

about getting me more responsibility.

Woop, gotta go. Die Hard.
Explosions. Whatever.

Wait, no! Just when the
conversation was getting interesting!

Hello, Captain Raymond Holt.

It is I, Sergeant Terrance
Jeffords, your friend,

but more importantly, your employee.

I've never heard you speak
like this, Sergeant. I like it.

Each sentence so rife with information.

Go on, please.

Thank you. I can do more, sir.

I'd like to take on
additional responsibilities.

Good, I like seeing you take initiative.
Let's see what there is.

One Police Plaza is looking
for a city council liaison.

That's a rewarding but
challenging opportunity,

but I think you'll do a great job.

That sounds perfect.
Thank you, Captain. My pleasure.

The application is due tomorrow… Okay.

It's 96 pages… Okay, okay.

Not including a
4,000-word personal essay.

Okay, okay, okay.

Will that be a problem? No!

Not a problem for Terry.
Terry does not have a problem at all.

Terry's got a big problem.

Ooh! Math or real life?

Why would I have a big math problem?
I've seen it happen.

I'm supposed to pick up Cagney
and Lacey from day care in 30 minutes,

but I have to stay late to work

on an application I just got from Holt.

They're six, they can take the subway.

Rosa, that's crazy. They're babies.
Terry, just call them an Uber.

Or just have your sitter pick them up.

Scully actually has the most reasonable
idea. These truly are strange days.

Sharon can't pick 'em up
'cause she's out of town with Ava.

And the sitter doesn't
get to my house till 6:30.

Jake and I can pick them up.

Absolutely. Couple of issues.
I don't have any car seats,

and my rear window is
technically a "shower curtain."

Really? Why? Mm.

You know what? Doesn't matter.
Just take my minivan.

You got it.

Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.

Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.

Why are you doing that with your face?

I'm smiling at Mommy and Daddy.

Ugh. Gross.

Picking up Cagney and Lacey.

One taste of practice-parenting,

and you two will be so hot to have sex.

The kind that make babies.

Walk away, Charles. Okay.

But I'll be back in nine months.

How ridiculous is Charles? Psh.

So ridiculous. Psh.

Psh. Psh.

PERALTA: Hey, girls,
who's the coolest person

you've ever met in your entire lives?

You are! You are!

And who's the most
handsome dude in all the land,

even objectively more than Idris Elba?

You are! You are!

Man, kids are awesome.

You can tell them literally
anything, and they'll just say it.

I know, right? Check it out.

Who was the first female congresswoman?

Jeannette Rankin! Jeannette Rankin!

Oh. That's fun.
They won't get teased for that.

GIRLS: Up, down. Up, down.
Up, down. Up, down.

Oh, uh, maybe don't play with the windows.
Jake, tell them to stop.

But playing with the windows is fun.
Jake.

And it could spark a lifelong
interest in mechanical engineering.

But sure, if you want,
I'll tell these young girls

that you don't think
science is a good fit for them.

Up, down. Up, down.
Play with those windows, ladies!

Yay! Yay!

That was actually really
cool with Cagney and Lacey.

I think we rocked it.

Right? I don't see what the
big deal is about being a parent.

That was so easy.

Yeah. Anyone who's ever
complained about parenting

has no idea what they're doing. [LAUGHS]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Mm, hey, this is Sarge, probably
calling for some child-rearing tips.

Parent of the year speaking.
Terry, baby, talk to me!

Where the hell is Moo Moo?

Oh, no.
I think Terry has a child named Moo Moo,

and we forget to pick her up.

It's not a baby, Jake.
It's Cagney's blankie.

She calls it that because
it has a little cow head.

She said she had it in the minivan.
Where is it now?

Uh.

PERALTA, GIRLS: Up, down! Up, down!

Up, down. Up, down.

Never let 'em play with the windows!
That's parenting 101!

And, Santiago, I can't
believe you didn't stop it.

I'm sorry, sir. I knew it was wrong,

and I did nothing,
which is ultimately worse.

Cagney can't sleep without Moo Moo.

And if Cagney doesn't
sleep, Lacey doesn't sleep.

And if Cagney and Lacey don't sleep…

Terry doesn't sleep.

No, Jake doesn't live! Oh, my God.

Where did you start letting
them play with the windows?

Uh, on Eighth. It was close to the house.

It better be.
The sitter leaves in 10 minutes,

and this is the last thing I need.

Okay. I'm so sorry about this, Sarge.

Oh, and one more thing.

I love you.

I love you, too, Jake.

Moo Moo? Moo Moo!

What's going on, buddy?

Oh, hey, Officer… Whoa. Don't move.

Oh, I was just…

Step back, keep your
hands where I can see 'em.

Drop that.

Hey, Sarge.
We felt really bad about Moo Moo,

so we got you a new one.

She's called New Moo. I don't want it.

The liaison application got you down?
I finished that.

I know. There's nothing sadder than
finishing a nice, long, juicy application.

It's like, why can't there be another
essay? Or even a short answer?

No one is relating to you right now.
What's wrong?

I got stopped by a cop last night.

Stopped for what? Stopped for walking.

That makes zero sense, unless…

Oh, crap. I see what happened.

Yeah.

Oh, Sarge, that's terrible.

That's so messed up.

Oh, jeez. I have no idea what's going on.

He got stopped for being black.
Get woke, Scully.

What happened?
It was right after I found Moo Moo.

What are you doing in
this neighborhood, buddy?

I live here. Listen…

Whoa, you need to lower your voice.

Lower my voice?

You know what?
Put your hands on your head, turn around.

Don't make any sudden movements.

I didn't do anything! Also, I'm a…

Keep talking. See what happens next.
Huh, big guy?

Well, did you tell him you're a cop?

I tried to, but things
escalated so quickly,

and I didn't have my badge on me.

I eventually told him,

and he finally looked me up
in the system and let me go.

I can't believe this. I mean, nothing
like that has ever happened to me,

and I've done some pretty
suspicious things in the street.

Hey there! What are you doing?

I'm just playing a prank on my buddy.

Sounds fun. Carry on.

It was a very good prank.
I totally thought I was gonna die.

I mean, I've had run-ins
with officers before,

but this one really stings.
It was right outside my home.

So, what are you gonna do?
Slash his tires?

You shouldn't do that,
but just out of curiosity,

what kind of car does he
drive and where does he park it?

You could file an official complaint.

Captain Holt would wield that
like a hammer and crush the guy.

I don't wanna start a
whole hullabaloo, all right?

I mean, I think I just need
to sit down with the guy

and have a direct conversation.

Just to make sure he doesn't ever

do anything like this again.
That makes sense.

You think you two can handle watching

the kids while I meet
with Officer Maldack?

Oh, they could handle it.

Calm down, Charles!

But, yes, Terry, we can watch the kids.

Trust me. There's nothing those
little munchkins can throw at us

that we can't handle.

Why was Daddy in
trouble with the policeman?

Uh, that's complicated.

Is it because he's black?

BOTH: Uh…

What do we do? We can't call Terry.

We told him we could handle anything.

I've got it! We just leave.
We go home and never speak of this.

No, we can't leave the
children that are in our care.

Right. We call Charles. He's a parent.

He'll know what to do. Smart.

Mm. A parental crisis.
This is the good stuff right here.

You are knee-deep in the
thick, rich, broth of parenthood.

-[SIGHS]
-[SIGHS] Well, that was a nightmare.

Who else can we call?

I'm already ahead of you. Calling Rosa.

Make them go to bed.

It's 6:30 p.m. They're not tired.

Make them.

Okay. Hang up, I'll call Gina.

Oh, come on, Jake. Just explain the
deep-rooted institutionalized racism

that remains pervasive
in this country to this day.

Gina, they're children.

So, put it in a song, Jake. Watch this.

-♪ Racism, racism ♪
-I'm hanging up.

♪ Racism ♪

Gina, I'm hanging up.
That's a great song. I'm hanging up.

Okay, so, Gina was a bust, as well.

Looks like we're out of options, unless…

No. It's all we have.

Hey, Jakey!
Yeah, I'd love to chat, but I can't.

Hitchcock and I are eating cake
for dinner and watching a movie.

Ask Amy if she wants to come over.

I'm hanging up.

[SIGHS]

Why are you smiling? That was useless.

Are you kidding me?
Hitchcock and Scully just handed us a gem.

Who wants cake?

Me! Me!

And who wants to watch 101 Dalmatians

and not ask any hard-to-answer
questions about your father and race?

BOTH: Me, me, me! Uh, nice.

Officer Maldack. Thanks for coming.

Hey.

I'm really glad you set this up.

I'm so sorry for what happened.

Oh. Wow.

I'm really happy to hear that.

I was thinking this conversation

was gonna go a lot differently.

No, no, no. It was an honest mistake.

If I had known you were a cop, I
never would have treated you that way.

So, you're sorry for not
knowing I was a cop sooner?

Yeah. And that's it?

Yeah.

But you shouldn't have treated me
that way whether I was a cop or not.

What do you mean?

[SIGHS] I was just
walking down the street.

There's nothing suspicious
or illegal about that.

Okay, but you and I both know
that you don't exactly look like

you belong in that neighborhood.

I live there.

Look, nine outta 10 times, I
get called to that neighborhood,

it's about a guy that looks like you.

Were you responding to a call?

No, but you're missing the point.

No, you're missing the point.

I just want you to admit you only
stopped me because I'm black,

and to apologize and to
say you won't do it again.

Hey, look, we wouldn't even
be having this conversation

if you had your badge on you.
Next time, don't forget it.

Oh, so, this is all my fault?

I'm not apologizing for doing my job.

That's not the job, man.

Whoa, I can't believe
it went down like that.

Should we maybe revisit some of

our earlier ideas vis-à-vis
tires and slashing?

I should have known there
was no talking to a guy like that.

I don't see any other option.

I'm submitting an official
complaint with Holt.

I know it might feel weird to report

another officer, but it's the right move.

Holt's gonna eat him for breakfast.

Maldack has no idea
what's about to hit him.

I'm not gonna submit this.

What? Why not?

Because I think it's a mistake.

[SIGHS]

Hey, Sarge? Everything okay?

I only ask 'cause you haven't
moved in the last 58 minutes.

He doesn't want me to file the complaint.

Well, of course, Officer Maldack

doesn't want you to file the complaint.

He's the one being complained about.

I just realized you meant Captain Holt.
Yeah.

What?
Did you mess up the grammar or something?

Did you dangle a participle?
Oh, Terry, Holt hates a dangler.

[SIGHS] The grammar was fine. He
said he thought filing it was a mistake.

Wow. Well, look, Captain Holt
cares about you more than anything.

I'm sure he's got a good reason.

Maybe you should go talk
to him about it, you know.

Go to his house.

Yeah, that's a good idea.
I'm gonna do that.

And while you're talking to him,

Jake and Amy can babysit your kids.
Mmm-hmm.

Unless they're too busy making
babies of their own. Chick-a-bang-a-dow.

Get out of us. [SIGHS]

But, yes, we are happy
to look after the kids again.

Thanks, guys. I appreciate your support.

Now, I'm gonna go find out what
the hell is going on with Captain Holt.

Are you two sure you
should be babysitting?

You seemed real freaked
when you called me last night.

Yes, but then we figured
out how to be good parents.

TV and cake. [LAUGHS]

TV and cake were my parents. [LAUGHS]

It's okay.

Sergeant Jeffords.

That's right, it's me.
Sergeant Jeffords from the precinct.

I'm the guy whose damn
complaint you don't wanna submit,

and I can't think of one damn reason why.

Everyone, this is Sergeant Jeffords.

Hi!

I'm sorry for interrupting
your dinner party.

No problem at all. This is important.

Also, Kevin's friend, Margo, is
here and she's a real class-A drip.

Sir, I can't get why you don't
want me to file the complaint.

I thought you of all
people would support me.

First of all, let me say,
what that officer did

to you was wrong. Deeply wrong.

And I'm furious about it.

Okay. So, why won't you back me up?

Because that complaint could backfire.

Cops who blow the whistle on other
cops almost always face a backlash,

just like people who socialize with Margo

invariably hear about
her trip to Scottsdale.

You're real worked up about Margo.

Sorry. She's horrible.

Listen, I don't wanna
see your career derailed

because you were besmirched
for reporting on another officer.

But what he did was wrong.
He should be besmirched.

Yes, but is that besmirching worth

the greater besmirching of your career?

You have to balance besmirchings.

There's politics to being a cop.

But I wasn't harassed for being a cop.
I was harassed as a black man.

I'm not saying do nothing.

I'm saying the most powerful action

you can take is to
rise through the ranks,

so that you can make large-scale changes.

I've had to pick my battles,
and it hasn't always been easy.

But now, I have my own precinct,

a precinct whose officers would never

do to you what Officer Maldack did.

I understand what you're saying, but…

Shh!

I hear Margo's squeaky
shoes in the hallway.

One guess as to where in Arizona
she bought them. Scottsdale.

Oh, Ray, there you are. I'm about
to start my Scottsdale slide show.

It has all the highlights.

There are no highlights
in Scottsdale, Margo!

That's what you think, Raymond.

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

Okay. We got chocolate-chocolate,
chocolate-vanilla,

and, my personal favorite,
a bowl full of cake batter.

And loads o' movies! Huh?

We don't wanna do that.

Uh, maybe you didn't hear us correctly.
We've got cake.

We've got movies. It's time to party.

Is being black bad?

We're black.
Are we gonna get in trouble like Daddy?

Jake, can I talk to you for a second?

Yes, please.

We have a problem. I know.

What kinda kids don't wanna eat cake?

Should we call child services on Terry?

Jake, I think we have to face
the music and talk to them for real.

I know, you're right.

But I'm gonna munch the
cake batter while we do it.

If you don't eat the raw egg
fast, it makes you even more sick.

[SIGHS] Never mind. Let's go. All right.

Okay, girls.
There's something called "prejudice,"

which comes from the
Latin words "pre," or "before,"

and 'judicium," which means "to judge."
Are you with me so far?

No. No.

Okay… Um…

You know how it's tougher
in this world to be a woman?

BOTH: It is?

No! No, no, that's not what I meant.

Then I don't wanna be a woman.

Me, neither.

You don't have to be
if that's who you are.

You know what?
That's a whole other conversation. Uh…

-[SIGHS]
-[SIGHS] Okay, here we go.

A cop did a bad thing and
tried to get your daddy in trouble,

but your daddy didn't do anything wrong.

Because Daddy's black?

Yeah.

That's scary.

It is scary. But that cop was
wrong and what he did was bad.

And the most important
thing is your daddy's okay.

And he's not in trouble

and he loves you both more
than anything in the world.

-PERALTA: Okay?
-BOTH: Okay.

Oh. Okay? Well, that wasn't so bad.
[CHUCKLES]

Well, if you guys have any other
questions, we're here for you.

What's a orgasm? Come on!

Terry, I know you're upset,
but this is the right thing to do.

You're this close to
the city council position,

and that's just the beginning.

It would be a shame to jeopardize that.

Look, I get that the guys at
our precinct wouldn't profile me,

but it still happened.
Only one precinct over.

Which is why you need to keep
pushing forward in your career,

so that you can change the system.

Terry, you're a great cop.
You could become a chief or higher.

How long will it take to
make change that way?

Maldack is on the street now.

You know why I became a cop?

Please share.

Because when I was a kid, I
always wanted to be a superhero.

Stop it! Stop bothering little Terry!

Or what?

Or I will defeat you!

Whoa.

I wanted to help people
like that cop helped me.

But right now, I don't feel like
a superhero. I feel the opposite.

When I got stopped the
other day, I wasn't a cop.

I wasn't a guy who
lived in a neighborhood,

looking for his daughter's toy.

I was a black man. A dangerous black man.

That's all he could see. A threat.

And I couldn't stop
thinking about my daughters.

And their future.

And how years from now, they
could be walking down the street,

looking for their kids' Moo Moo
and get stopped by a bad cop.

And they probably won't get to play

the police card to get out of trouble.

I don't like that thought, and
I'm gonna do something about it.

So, I don't care if it
might hurt my career.

I'm filing that report, even if I
have to go over your head to do it.

[SIGHS]

Kind of seemed like you were gonna

get up and leave after saying all that.

I was, but I think I hear Margo.

Hey, thanks for babysitting last night.

The girls told me what you talked about,

and it couldn't have been easy.

I'm sorry I told them orgasms
was another word for oranges.

I panicked.

Yeah, it did make it awkward when

they asked for "orgasm
juice" this morning,

but I was more talking
about the other stuff.

Yeah. We didn't really know what to say.

At one point, I'm pretty sure I sang

all of En Vogue's Free Your Mind.

Well, they had fun, and you
made them feel safe. You did good.

Oh, they made you a thank you card.

Aw. [SIGHS]

Pretty sure my nose isn't quite this big,

especially with all the
racial sensitivity talk,

but I appreciate the effort.

Sergeant Jeffords, a
moment of your time, please.

I came to a realization after
you stormed out last night.

I wouldn't say I stormed out.

I shook hands with both
you and Kevin before I left.

And Kevin and I agreed that you squeezed

significantly tighter than necessary.

I guess I was a little worked up.

With good reason.
I thought a lot about our conversation.

When I was a young police officer

and things like this would happen to me,

I felt very alone.

I wanted to call out every bad cop

I encountered, and there were a lot.

But as a black, gay man, I never
had a superior who was on my side.

So, the advice I offered you,

that came from a different
place, a different time.

I put all my energy
towards rising to a rank

where I could make a difference.

Well…

I'm there now.

And I realize that if I
don't back you up on this,

I would be betraying the very
thing that I worked so hard for.

So, I filed the complaint.

I appreciate that, Captain.

Are you still upset?

No, not at all.

You should consider
modifying your handshake.

It's sending the wrong message.

Copy that.

Whew.

[SIGHS] I am so glad we don't have to do

any more babysitting for a while.

I know. It was so stressful.

So stressful. But, like,
actually kind of rewarding, too.

Shaping young minds like that?

I felt so powerful. Yeah.

But, like, so exhausting. Oh, yeah.

Can you imagine doing that every night?
Forget it.

But, also, their little shoes are so cute!
They're like little circles!

I know! And everything they hold looks

so big because their hands are so tiny.

Yeah. And they have to hold
a cup of water with both hands,

'cause they're so weak. I know!

Ooh-ee!

That's what I'm talking about!

Boyle! Boyle!

Lucky for you, Amy, I
am an unlicensed doula.

I've delivered three of my cousins

and one of my uncles. Long story.

Go away! Yes, Papa.

Please close the blinds.

We're about to violate several
departmental regulations.

[LAUGHS] All right.

It's been a very long
week and as of right now,

we're both off duty.

I think we've earned a drink.

I can get behind that.

I heard from the city council
about the liaison position.

Is that right?

You didn't get it.

Oh. Oh, this is a sad drink.

Was it the complaint?

We'll never know for
sure, but I think it's likely.

However, this is not a sad drink.

We are celebrating.
To doing the right thing.

[SIGHS]

I don't know. [SIGHS] Maybe we
shouldn't have filed the complaint.

Maybe I could've done more
if I had gotten that liaison job.

Maybe, but one thing's for certain.

Maldack will think twice before

making another bad stop like that again.

And that's a win.

Yeah. It's tough.

It is.

So, Sharon's still out of town.

Who's looking after Cagney and Lacey?

[BOTH SCREAMING]