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1
00:00:02,218 --> 00:00:03,260
[GRUNTS]
2
00:00:03,344 --> 00:00:07,305
Hey, everyone. Sorry I'm late.
So, what's this secret meeting all about?
3
00:00:07,389 --> 00:00:09,557
You guys know I'm not
medically cleared for another week.
4
00:00:09,641 --> 00:00:13,394
It's not a secret meeting, Jake.
It's an intervention.
5
00:00:13,478 --> 00:00:14,770
The tips have to go.
6
00:00:14,937 --> 00:00:16,188
What? Why?
7
00:00:16,272 --> 00:00:19,066
Jake, we're worried about
you, and you look very stupid.
8
00:00:19,150 --> 00:00:21,944
Come on, guys.
I think they're cool, retro.
9
00:00:22,153 --> 00:00:23,235
No, they're terrible.
10
00:00:23,319 --> 00:00:25,154
Amy, come on.
You're digging the tips, right?
11
00:00:25,238 --> 00:00:27,239
No. I feel like I'm kissing Vanilla Ice.
12
00:00:27,323 --> 00:00:28,908
There was a time you
would've jumped at that chance.
13
00:00:28,992 --> 00:00:30,034
They have to go.
14
00:00:30,118 --> 00:00:33,411
All right, you guys got me.
I did it as a joke.
15
00:00:33,495 --> 00:00:35,261
I kept them ironically.
Pretty funny, right?
16
00:00:35,345 --> 00:00:37,495
[LAUGHS] I'm just going to head out.
17
00:00:37,791 --> 00:00:38,959
GINA: Get him! No!
18
00:00:39,293 --> 00:00:40,794
[GRUNTS] Ah!
19
00:00:40,961 --> 00:00:42,295
Yes, Terry!
20
00:00:45,465 --> 00:00:47,925
Okay, okay.
Wait, wait, okay, okay. Stop, stop.
21
00:00:48,301 --> 00:00:51,303
I'll admit it.
I went too deep down there in Florida.
22
00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:55,473
At one point, I think I forgot
where the tip of me ended,
23
00:00:55,557 --> 00:00:57,100
and the base of the tips began.
24
00:00:57,184 --> 00:01:01,728
Before we just chop them off, would
anybody like to say some final words?
25
00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:02,979
No. That was one word. That counts.
26
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,713
Thank you, Rosa. Okay, I'm ready.
27
00:01:05,316 --> 00:01:07,901
Sorry I'm late, everyone,
but trust me, it's worth it.
28
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,153
Me and Jake are tip buds.
29
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,363
What? No!
30
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:13,948
No!
31
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,035
You know what, I do see it.
It's bad. It looks bad.
32
00:01:19,119 --> 00:01:21,121
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
33
00:01:39,471 --> 00:01:43,141
Brace yourselves 'cause Jakey is back.
34
00:01:43,391 --> 00:01:44,434
[EXCLAIMS]
35
00:01:45,559 --> 00:01:46,893
Don't everybody mob me at once.
36
00:01:46,977 --> 00:01:48,527
We can high-five one at a time.
37
00:01:50,105 --> 00:01:51,940
PERALTA: Oh, I see. No response.
38
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,567
A little "Welcome back
to the precinct" hazing.
39
00:01:53,651 --> 00:01:55,701
Who's behind this cute little prank?
Diaz?
40
00:01:55,819 --> 00:01:56,902
Kill yourself. Okay.
41
00:01:56,986 --> 00:01:59,864
I told you.
Night shift has everyone a little down.
42
00:01:59,948 --> 00:02:01,782
Yeah, just because
you don't get to sleep,
43
00:02:01,866 --> 00:02:03,700
or see your loved ones, or feel the sun,
44
00:02:03,784 --> 00:02:06,084
or do anything that brings you joy.
That's all.
45
00:02:06,203 --> 00:02:07,704
GINA: I personally like the night shift.
46
00:02:07,788 --> 00:02:09,414
You know who else is up right now?
47
00:02:09,498 --> 00:02:10,999
Murderers? Armed robbers?
48
00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:15,919
[MOCK ACCENT] Australians. It's a
whole new demographic for me to conquer.
49
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:18,881
[NORMAL VOICE] I already have the
third most followers behind Iggy Azalea
50
00:02:18,965 --> 00:02:20,507
and the Perth Zoo wallaby cam.
51
00:02:20,591 --> 00:02:21,676
That's pretty good.
52
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,344
It's not just good, Jake. It's boozer.
53
00:02:24,469 --> 00:02:26,596
Night shift is boring.
Listen to the cases I've had.
54
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,016
"Drunk and disorderly, drunk
and disorderly, cybercrime."
55
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:31,600
Oh. Cybercrime. Pretty cool.
56
00:02:31,684 --> 00:02:34,519
Caught a drunk guy humping a laptop.
Well, we've all been there.
57
00:02:34,603 --> 00:02:37,147
But my point is this, I
don't care what time it is,
58
00:02:37,356 --> 00:02:39,065
I'm always happy to be here.
59
00:02:39,149 --> 00:02:41,776
Nine-Nine!
60
00:02:42,902 --> 00:02:45,697
Nine-Nine!
61
00:02:46,865 --> 00:02:49,491
Noine-Noine! I'm going to keep
doing it until you guys chime in.
62
00:02:49,575 --> 00:02:51,242
Noine-Noine!
63
00:02:51,326 --> 00:02:53,787
Sergeant Jeffords, a word.
64
00:02:53,871 --> 00:02:55,538
What is wrong with everyone?
65
00:02:55,622 --> 00:02:59,082
I'm worried our night shift
morale problem has gotten worse.
66
00:02:59,166 --> 00:03:03,170
Yeah, you think?
I'm sorry. I'm exhausted.
67
00:03:03,254 --> 00:03:04,838
My wife says, when I get tired,
68
00:03:04,922 --> 00:03:06,799
I get night sassy. "Night sassy"?
69
00:03:06,883 --> 00:03:09,217
Hearing problems, much? Sorry.
70
00:03:09,301 --> 00:03:12,345
Should I just go tell everyone
to buck up and do their jobs?
71
00:03:12,429 --> 00:03:13,805
No, the squad's only on night shift
72
00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:15,139
because they came down to Florida
73
00:03:15,223 --> 00:03:16,391
to save Jake and me.
74
00:03:16,724 --> 00:03:18,391
It's my responsibility to fix this.
75
00:03:18,475 --> 00:03:21,604
I'm going to brighten the
mood by telling a few jokes.
76
00:03:21,812 --> 00:03:23,230
Try this one on for size.
77
00:03:23,898 --> 00:03:25,399
I don't care for cheese.
78
00:03:26,482 --> 00:03:29,527
I'm a "curd"mudgeon.
79
00:03:31,529 --> 00:03:35,532
Well, you're too tired for humor.
80
00:03:35,866 --> 00:03:37,075
If he isn't taking his medicine,
81
00:03:37,159 --> 00:03:38,451
you could mix it in with his food.
82
00:03:38,535 --> 00:03:41,162
Sorry, you can deal with
your sick dog later, Boyle.
83
00:03:41,246 --> 00:03:43,373
Well, actually, that was
about my son, Nikolaj.
84
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,498
He's got allergies.
85
00:03:44,582 --> 00:03:46,250
I think we may have to
go with a nasal douche.
86
00:03:46,334 --> 00:03:48,502
Ah, nasal douche.
Cool, cool, cool. Very gross.
87
00:03:48,586 --> 00:03:51,171
Anyways, I'm back to being a cop.
It's all I've thought about
88
00:03:51,255 --> 00:03:52,798
for the last six months. Hurtful.
89
00:03:52,882 --> 00:03:56,342
But I won't be fully back until I've
solved a case, just like old times.
90
00:03:56,426 --> 00:03:58,553
And I can't do that without my partner.
91
00:03:58,637 --> 00:04:01,222
You're not solving any
cases on the night shift.
92
00:04:01,306 --> 00:04:02,347
Lohank?
93
00:04:02,431 --> 00:04:04,057
Oh, my God, you look… Beautiful?
94
00:04:04,141 --> 00:04:05,517
I was going to say "less sad."
95
00:04:05,601 --> 00:04:08,019
Ever since I moved to the
day shift, I'm happier, healthier,
96
00:04:08,103 --> 00:04:09,938
my stepson gave me my debit card back.
97
00:04:10,022 --> 00:04:13,190
Lohank is happy and confident?
Everything's off. Oh, no.
98
00:04:13,274 --> 00:04:15,224
We're in the Upside Down. That's right.
99
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,069
I'm going to tell you the
same thing they told me
100
00:04:17,153 --> 00:04:18,445
when they removed my testicle,
101
00:04:18,529 --> 00:04:20,697
"Welcome to your new life."
102
00:04:20,781 --> 00:04:23,116
No, I'm not going to
let the night shift win.
103
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,993
Me and my main man, Boyle,
are about to solve a case.
104
00:04:25,077 --> 00:04:26,244
Isn't that right, Charles?
105
00:04:26,328 --> 00:04:27,453
You know we will.
106
00:04:27,537 --> 00:04:29,456
We'll call ourselves "The Night Boys."
107
00:04:29,622 --> 00:04:31,540
Kind of sounds like
a male escort service.
108
00:04:31,624 --> 00:04:33,041
The Midnight Men. Even worse.
109
00:04:33,125 --> 00:04:34,376
The Dark Stallions.
110
00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:36,660
Looks like we're going
with "The Night Boys"!
111
00:04:38,089 --> 00:04:39,297
I can't believe I'm going to say this,
112
00:04:39,381 --> 00:04:42,300
but the night shift is taking all the
fun out of paperwork. Mmm-hmm.
113
00:04:42,384 --> 00:04:44,218
At least we're getting to
spend quality time together.
114
00:04:44,302 --> 00:04:45,678
Totally. I'll be back in 40 minutes.
115
00:04:45,762 --> 00:04:48,346
What? Where are you going?
We have to finish this by morning.
116
00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:50,932
Yeah, I know. I just have
something important I have to do.
117
00:04:51,016 --> 00:04:52,059
What?
118
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,144
I have to get
119
00:04:55,145 --> 00:04:56,187
some pens.
120
00:04:56,271 --> 00:04:57,813
Then why are you putting your jacket on?
121
00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:58,939
Pen store's a block away.
122
00:04:59,023 --> 00:05:01,191
The nearest pen store
is seven blocks away,
123
00:05:01,275 --> 00:05:04,487
and it doesn't open until 9 a.m.
I learned that the hard way.
124
00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,154
You really think you can lie to me?
125
00:05:06,238 --> 00:05:07,489
No.
126
00:05:07,656 --> 00:05:09,741
You're lying to me right now!
You do think you can lie to me.
127
00:05:09,825 --> 00:05:12,076
Yep. Wait. Hang on.
128
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:15,538
Was that a lie? I don't know, maybe.
All right, see you.
129
00:05:16,706 --> 00:05:20,751
Our first case. Tasty little B&E,
just what the doctor ordered.
130
00:05:20,835 --> 00:05:23,670
Not actually.
She recommended another week of bed rest.
131
00:05:23,754 --> 00:05:25,296
I was like, "Whatever, dorkus."
132
00:05:25,380 --> 00:05:26,422
[LAUGHING]
133
00:05:26,506 --> 00:05:29,009
Check it out. Ducking under police tape.
134
00:05:29,259 --> 00:05:30,468
I missed this.
135
00:05:31,469 --> 00:05:32,512
[EXCLAIMS]
136
00:05:32,804 --> 00:05:34,680
Charles. I got it.
137
00:05:34,847 --> 00:05:36,723
Yes, on it, on it, Jakey. Got it.
138
00:05:36,807 --> 00:05:37,933
What do we got?
139
00:05:38,017 --> 00:05:40,352
Back window's broken,
two sets of sneaker prints,
140
00:05:40,436 --> 00:05:43,938
alarm went off at 11:43,
and security arrived at 11:46.
141
00:05:44,022 --> 00:05:45,064
Perps were already gone.
142
00:05:45,148 --> 00:05:49,027
Okay, I'm thinking classic us.
I'm thinking old times.
143
00:05:49,193 --> 00:05:50,235
I'm thinking…
144
00:05:50,319 --> 00:05:52,612
Riggity-riggity role-players!
Riggity-riggity role-players!
145
00:05:52,696 --> 00:05:55,907
Yes! Okay, I'm Jacques Guillaume,
and you are Henri Renault.
146
00:05:55,991 --> 00:05:57,951
We are cat burglars
on vacation from France.
147
00:05:58,035 --> 00:06:01,119
I love it. Although, Henri went
to an elite international school,
148
00:06:01,203 --> 00:06:02,496
so he does not speak with an accent.
149
00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:04,039
Nice way to flesh out the characters.
150
00:06:04,123 --> 00:06:06,333
Thank you.
Okay, so, I break the back window,
151
00:06:06,417 --> 00:06:07,960
make my way over to the jewelry case.
152
00:06:08,044 --> 00:06:09,670
Meanwhile, you're standing lookout…
153
00:06:09,754 --> 00:06:10,754
Oui, oui.
154
00:06:10,879 --> 00:06:13,965
…by the front door, smoking a cigarette.
155
00:06:14,049 --> 00:06:15,216
Check it. Ash.
156
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:18,427
Oh la la! Okay, so, I am smoking.
157
00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:20,470
What are you doing?
158
00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:22,472
Jacques rolls his own cigarettes,
159
00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:24,975
a habit he picked up from
a prostitute in Marseille,
160
00:06:25,059 --> 00:06:26,893
but that is not all he picked up.
161
00:06:26,977 --> 00:06:28,435
Why do all your characters get STDs?
162
00:06:28,519 --> 00:06:29,937
Because they're living life!
163
00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:33,482
All right, so, I go to the first case,
smash, steal a bunch of watches.
164
00:06:33,566 --> 00:06:36,151
Move over to the second
case, smash, bracelets.
165
00:06:36,235 --> 00:06:37,652
But then, we hear a sound, and…
166
00:06:37,736 --> 00:06:40,071
I yell, "Les gendarmes! Ils sont ici!"
167
00:06:40,155 --> 00:06:41,197
And I know what that
means because I'm French,
168
00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:43,157
but I ask you to repeat it
in English, just to be sure.
169
00:06:43,241 --> 00:06:45,076
"Police are here!" Yes.
We gotta get outta here,
170
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,410
so we turn to leave,
you flick your cigarette.
171
00:06:47,703 --> 00:06:50,831
Using the cane, using
the cane, this is awesome…
172
00:06:50,915 --> 00:06:52,541
Voilà! Ze butt.
173
00:06:52,666 --> 00:06:54,334
I thought Henri didn't have an accent.
174
00:06:54,418 --> 00:06:55,960
It comes out when he gets excited.
175
00:06:56,044 --> 00:06:57,212
Great news, everyone.
176
00:06:57,337 --> 00:07:00,631
We just got our first lead on our
first case on my first night back,
177
00:07:00,715 --> 00:07:04,302
proving once and for all that
absolutely nothing has changed.
178
00:07:04,552 --> 00:07:05,594
[GRUNTS]
179
00:07:06,345 --> 00:07:09,264
Yeah, this opens in instead of out now.
They switched it a month ago.
180
00:07:09,348 --> 00:07:11,934
Yeah, so, the door
changed, sure, but that's it!
181
00:07:14,519 --> 00:07:17,521
Well, we have got ourselves a
case and a key piece of evidence.
182
00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:19,606
We should be wrapping
this thing up in no time.
183
00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:21,340
As long as we do it before sunup.
184
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:23,443
As soon as the shift is over,
I kind of have to get home.
185
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:25,903
But we're going to work it till it's
done, right? That's how we do it.
186
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,405
Yeah, I just like to be home
187
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,615
as soon as Nikolaj wakes up,
so I can make him breakfast.
188
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,367
Sure, yeah, not a problem.
We'll be home by sunup.
189
00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:35,579
Just like a couple of
sexy Twilight vampires.
190
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:38,290
"I am Robert Pattinson.
I vant to turn into a bat."
191
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:40,125
I've never seen the movies.
No, me neither.
192
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,084
They're an insult to the books. Okay.
193
00:07:42,168 --> 00:07:45,463
Crank up the tunes, Boyle.
The Night Boys need an anthem.
194
00:07:45,547 --> 00:07:47,339
Something dark, something tough,
195
00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:48,466
something… I already got it.
196
00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:51,384
All night long
197
00:07:51,468 --> 00:07:56,389
You know what? I'm into it.
The night shift won't slow us down.
198
00:07:56,473 --> 00:07:58,224
Why is this going so slow?
Where is everyone?
199
00:07:58,308 --> 00:08:00,976
Well, it is 3 a.m.
It's a pretty bare-bones crew.
200
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:03,020
Hi, can I help you? Are you lost?
201
00:08:03,104 --> 00:08:04,938
Can I get you something? Coffee, tea?
202
00:08:05,022 --> 00:08:06,065
You know what? We're in a bit of a hurry.
203
00:08:06,149 --> 00:08:07,191
Can you run this DNA for us?
204
00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:08,317
Well, of course.
205
00:08:08,401 --> 00:08:11,986
Sorry, not many people stopping by
at night. Sometimes it makes you like…
206
00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:13,405
[EXCLAIMING]
207
00:08:13,613 --> 00:08:14,656
Right?
208
00:08:15,448 --> 00:08:17,298
-I'll be back in a sec.
-PERALTA: Cool.
209
00:08:17,701 --> 00:08:20,869
Yikes.
Not exactly the A-Team at this hour.
210
00:08:20,953 --> 00:08:22,454
A-Team? Are you guys talking A-Team?
211
00:08:22,538 --> 00:08:24,582
I love that show. I could download it.
212
00:08:24,707 --> 00:08:26,792
We should binge it!
This is going to be fun.
213
00:08:26,876 --> 00:08:30,127
Yep, totally excited to watch five
full seasons of television with you,
214
00:08:30,211 --> 00:08:32,880
but could you actually
run the DNA for us first?
215
00:08:32,964 --> 00:08:35,800
It kind of feels like you're
prioritizing work over our friendship.
216
00:08:35,884 --> 00:08:37,301
Because I barely know you?
217
00:08:37,426 --> 00:08:38,886
Fine, message received.
218
00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:45,724
Welcome back from your
third massive break of the night.
219
00:08:45,808 --> 00:08:46,850
Thanks.
220
00:08:46,934 --> 00:08:47,976
I was being sarcastic.
221
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:49,812
Where do you keep going? Not saying.
222
00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:50,938
Tell me, Diaz. Nope.
223
00:08:51,022 --> 00:08:52,314
Come on, tell me. Tell me, tell me…
224
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:53,649
Not talking about it. Nope.
225
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,192
Fine.
226
00:08:55,483 --> 00:08:58,152
I was in the bathroom.
I'm having stomach problems.
227
00:08:58,236 --> 00:08:59,403
Oh, okay. Yeah.
228
00:08:59,487 --> 00:09:00,530
Sorry. It's real bad.
229
00:09:00,614 --> 00:09:01,656
No, that's okay.
You should've been there.
230
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,074
I don't have to hear it.
It was like a massacre.
231
00:09:03,158 --> 00:09:04,533
Multiple flushes. Please stop.
232
00:09:04,617 --> 00:09:06,667
Attention, squad. Everyone gather around.
233
00:09:07,077 --> 00:09:08,954
I've been researching
ways to raise morale,
234
00:09:09,038 --> 00:09:11,832
and I found an interesting
article in a scientific journal.
235
00:09:11,916 --> 00:09:14,316
Was it from The American
Journal of No One Cares?
236
00:09:15,585 --> 00:09:20,422
According to a recent study, the physical
act of smiling can improve your mood.
237
00:09:20,506 --> 00:09:22,758
I suggest we give it a shot.
238
00:09:24,885 --> 00:09:26,094
Now, you all try.
239
00:09:28,722 --> 00:09:31,807
Big smiles, bigger, bigger!
240
00:09:31,891 --> 00:09:34,643
Great. Now, we just have to
stay like this for the next two hours.
241
00:09:34,727 --> 00:09:36,019
Can you feel it working?
242
00:09:36,103 --> 00:09:37,521
I don't have any enamel on my teeth,
243
00:09:37,605 --> 00:09:38,981
so the cold air is excruciating.
244
00:09:39,065 --> 00:09:40,732
Maybe if you brushed your teeth
245
00:09:40,857 --> 00:09:42,525
once in a while, this
wouldn't be a problem.
246
00:09:42,609 --> 00:09:46,070
I do brush my teeth.
They're decaying from acid reflux.
247
00:09:46,154 --> 00:09:47,488
You're embarrassing yourself.
248
00:09:47,572 --> 00:09:48,614
Crikey.
249
00:09:48,698 --> 00:09:49,739
You're not Australian, Gina.
250
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,700
Get stuffed, you drongo.
251
00:09:51,784 --> 00:09:55,328
Guys, seriously, too much exposure
to air, and they will turn to dust.
252
00:09:55,412 --> 00:09:57,957
This isn't working out
as well as I'd hoped.
253
00:09:58,123 --> 00:10:01,960
Time for the next level, forced laughing.
254
00:10:03,127 --> 00:10:05,463
[LAUGHTER]
255
00:10:07,589 --> 00:10:09,465
Wow, that lab tech took a long time.
256
00:10:09,549 --> 00:10:11,092
Once we agreed to
go to his birthday party,
257
00:10:11,176 --> 00:10:14,596
he was actually pretty fast.
But most importantly, we got a DNA match.
258
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:18,473
We're looking for Dave Smith.
259
00:10:18,557 --> 00:10:20,184
Sounds like a real piece of crap.
260
00:10:20,268 --> 00:10:22,811
You said it. Now, we just
gotta pull his files from records.
261
00:10:22,895 --> 00:10:24,146
Yes, then we bust him,
262
00:10:24,230 --> 00:10:26,898
and we'll be done with plenty
of time before Nikolaj wakes up.
263
00:10:26,982 --> 00:10:28,149
"Nikolaj."
264
00:10:28,316 --> 00:10:29,525
"Nikolaj," yeah, I said it.
265
00:10:29,609 --> 00:10:31,068
Nikolaj. Nikolaj.
266
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:32,570
Not even close. "Nikolaj."
267
00:10:32,654 --> 00:10:34,071
Nikolaj. Almost. "Nikolaj."
268
00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:35,363
Nikolaj. I feel like I'm saying it.
269
00:10:35,447 --> 00:10:38,197
You know what, it doesn't matter.
Hit me with the music!
270
00:10:38,325 --> 00:10:42,162
All night long All night All night
271
00:10:42,538 --> 00:10:44,038
Hi, there, we just need to pull a file…
272
00:10:44,122 --> 00:10:46,749
Can't. System's down.
They do maintenance at night.
273
00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:48,792
That's okay, we'll just
go to another precinct.
274
00:10:48,876 --> 00:10:49,961
That's all. Yep.
275
00:10:50,253 --> 00:10:52,005
All night long
276
00:10:52,588 --> 00:10:53,839
All night
277
00:10:53,964 --> 00:10:56,633
Hi, can we get this file, please?
We're in a bit of a hurry.
278
00:10:56,717 --> 00:10:58,218
Oh, absolutely, honey.
279
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:08,101
She's going extremely slow.
280
00:11:08,185 --> 00:11:09,353
She's going so slow.
281
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:11,896
There we are.
282
00:11:13,565 --> 00:11:14,733
My glasses.
283
00:11:14,858 --> 00:11:16,275
Yeah, all right, we'll
just go to Five-Four.
284
00:11:16,359 --> 00:11:17,944
All night No.
285
00:11:18,903 --> 00:11:20,279
Hello, hi, please, file now, hurry.
286
00:11:20,363 --> 00:11:21,697
Sorry, dude.
287
00:11:21,822 --> 00:11:23,240
I don't know how to get onto this system.
288
00:11:23,324 --> 00:11:24,366
I'm a temp.
289
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:25,492
May I?
290
00:11:25,576 --> 00:11:29,454
Great, let me just get over…
Good Lord, that is porn.
291
00:11:29,538 --> 00:11:31,121
Is that not allowed? It is not.
292
00:11:31,205 --> 00:11:33,791
No problem, let me just close these tabs.
293
00:11:39,254 --> 00:11:40,838
You've got a lot of them.
294
00:11:40,922 --> 00:11:44,550
Type 3 and type 9 and 12 and 13,
295
00:11:44,634 --> 00:11:47,512
those are all the diabetes I have.
296
00:11:47,596 --> 00:11:50,847
It's true what they say, night
shift makes for strange bedfellows.
297
00:11:50,931 --> 00:11:52,474
In your dreams, perv.
298
00:11:52,558 --> 00:11:53,601
Ugh!
299
00:11:53,726 --> 00:11:54,769
Rosa?
300
00:11:54,894 --> 00:11:57,144
What the hell?
She said she was in the bathroom again.
301
00:11:57,228 --> 00:11:59,272
Nah, she hasn't been to
the bathroom since 8:27.
302
00:11:59,356 --> 00:12:03,193
What? Also… Ew. Come on, Hitchcock.
303
00:12:06,528 --> 00:12:08,947
Busted. [CHUCKLES]
304
00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:11,449
Man, this Dave Smith's bad news.
305
00:12:11,533 --> 00:12:13,994
Armed robbery, aggravated
assault, attempted murder.
306
00:12:14,078 --> 00:12:16,996
Well, he's about to get a
visit from The Night Boys.
307
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:18,831
This stupid limp is slowing me down.
308
00:12:18,915 --> 00:12:21,333
Charles, can you… Give you a piggy?
309
00:12:21,417 --> 00:12:23,502
What? Yeah, jump on it.
I'll give you a piggy. [SNORTS]
310
00:12:23,586 --> 00:12:26,797
Actually, I'm good. I was just
going to ask if you'd hold my bag.
311
00:12:26,922 --> 00:12:27,964
Yeah, sure, that makes more sense.
312
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,090
Yeah. Embarrassed.
313
00:12:29,174 --> 00:12:30,300
Anyways, this is great.
314
00:12:30,384 --> 00:12:32,135
We're definitely going to
catch this guy before sunup,
315
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:34,387
and you will be home to see your kid.
316
00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:39,767
No! Son of a bitch.
317
00:12:42,269 --> 00:12:43,311
[KNOCKING]
318
00:12:44,187 --> 00:12:46,022
Jake, come on in.
319
00:12:46,106 --> 00:12:48,691
Nikolaj, look who it is.
You remember Jake Peralta.
320
00:12:48,775 --> 00:12:50,110
From the stories.
321
00:12:50,235 --> 00:12:51,860
Yeah, we talk about you at bedtime.
322
00:12:51,944 --> 00:12:53,111
Look at my cement truck.
323
00:12:53,195 --> 00:12:55,030
He loves trucks. Cool, it's cool, buddy.
324
00:12:55,114 --> 00:12:56,406
Listen, I know you're with your kid,
325
00:12:56,490 --> 00:12:58,783
but I checked the file, and
our perp's last known address
326
00:12:58,867 --> 00:13:00,368
is, like, two blocks from here. Really?
327
00:13:00,452 --> 00:13:01,577
We gotta go take him down.
328
00:13:01,661 --> 00:13:02,786
Yes, there's the Charles I know.
329
00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:04,872
Tonight, Dave Smith goes down.
330
00:13:04,956 --> 00:13:06,915
Tonight? No, Charles, we gotta go now.
331
00:13:06,999 --> 00:13:08,042
You saw this guy's rap sheet.
332
00:13:08,126 --> 00:13:09,460
He was arrested for attempted murder…
333
00:13:09,544 --> 00:13:10,835
Tickling, attempted tickling.
334
00:13:10,919 --> 00:13:12,337
Right, tickling.
335
00:13:12,421 --> 00:13:15,965
Look, Charles, this guy's a
real doody-head, all right?
336
00:13:16,049 --> 00:13:17,592
He tickled once, he may tickle again.
337
00:13:17,676 --> 00:13:19,135
He might be tickling as we speak.
338
00:13:19,219 --> 00:13:21,511
We could be dealing
with a serial tickler.
339
00:13:21,595 --> 00:13:24,639
I really want to go, Jake,
but I'm here alone with Nikolaj.
340
00:13:24,723 --> 00:13:26,475
Genevieve doesn't
get back for three hours.
341
00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:27,642
So, let's just take him with us.
342
00:13:27,726 --> 00:13:29,810
No, that's crazy.
Or is it just crazy enough to work?
343
00:13:29,894 --> 00:13:31,228
[GROANS] Just crazy.
344
00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:33,147
[SIGHS] Man, it stinks
you've gotta watch him.
345
00:13:33,231 --> 00:13:34,690
It's really messing everything up.
346
00:13:34,774 --> 00:13:36,150
I mean, that came out wrong.
347
00:13:36,234 --> 00:13:38,151
I love that you have a son.
It's not messing everything up.
348
00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:40,779
Just messing up our ability
to solve the case and have fun.
349
00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,113
[GROANS] You know what I mean.
350
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,740
I'm a nice guy. I'm in the right.
351
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,325
I'll just go myself. Bye, Nikolaj.
352
00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:46,618
"Nikolaj".
353
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,035
PERALTA: Yeah, whatever. See you.
354
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:51,080
I know your shift is over, and
you've had a challenging night,
355
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:54,041
but I think I've found a
new way to raise morale.
356
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,960
Follow me to the briefing room.
357
00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:02,883
What's all this?
358
00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:04,333
It's an after-work hang.
359
00:14:04,634 --> 00:14:06,844
Just trying to "turn up," as it were.
360
00:14:07,303 --> 00:14:11,473
We got snacks, games,
decorations, chairs.
361
00:14:11,557 --> 00:14:12,933
Yes, chairs!
362
00:14:13,017 --> 00:14:15,351
Cool, maybe we can
mill around and small-talk
363
00:14:15,435 --> 00:14:17,353
about how some of us are big lying liars
364
00:14:17,437 --> 00:14:19,837
who lie all the time like
a bunch of liars, Rosa.
365
00:14:20,148 --> 00:14:22,900
I don't think that's good party convo.
366
00:14:22,984 --> 00:14:27,737
Maybe we should just
name our favorite sailing knot.
367
00:14:27,821 --> 00:14:30,824
I'll start. The bowline.
368
00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:35,495
How about some tunes?
369
00:14:36,996 --> 00:14:38,956
Cool, merry-go-round music.
370
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:42,250
Yeah, John Philip Sousa,
the Skrillex of his day.
371
00:14:42,334 --> 00:14:45,795
Come on, people, hit the dance floor.
Have a good time.
372
00:14:46,338 --> 00:14:49,465
Why is no one having a good time?
I specifically requested it.
373
00:14:49,549 --> 00:14:50,966
Gina, why aren't you dancing?
374
00:14:51,050 --> 00:14:52,926
I can't. I'm in the middle of a feud
375
00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:56,847
with the "that's not a knife"
guy from Crocodile Dundee.
376
00:14:56,931 --> 00:14:58,098
He's being a real bitch.
377
00:14:58,182 --> 00:15:00,683
Fine, I guess I'll just stop the party.
378
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:01,851
I didn't realize it ever started.
379
00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:03,019
Enough.
380
00:15:03,228 --> 00:15:06,898
I tried to make this fun.
I even learned what Skrillex was!
381
00:15:07,357 --> 00:15:10,400
Sorry you're all miserable,
but guess what, so am I.
382
00:15:10,484 --> 00:15:12,777
I'm exhausted all the time,
I never see my husband,
383
00:15:12,861 --> 00:15:16,490
the late-night NPR
programing, pure garbage!
384
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:21,243
I'm done trying.
We can all be miserable together.
385
00:15:21,327 --> 00:15:22,703
Just go home.
386
00:15:25,039 --> 00:15:27,665
I saw you earlier.
You weren't in the bathroom.
387
00:15:27,749 --> 00:15:30,210
You were on a park bench,
playing on your phone.
388
00:15:30,627 --> 00:15:32,671
Yeah, you left me to do everything
389
00:15:32,796 --> 00:15:34,839
while I thought you were pooping.
390
00:15:34,923 --> 00:15:37,675
I wish you were pooping. I wish to God.
391
00:15:38,092 --> 00:15:39,301
I'm sorry.
392
00:15:40,010 --> 00:15:41,053
Oh.
393
00:15:41,387 --> 00:15:44,390
Rosa crying, don't know what to do.
394
00:15:45,557 --> 00:15:48,017
Pat, pat. This feels wrong.
395
00:15:48,184 --> 00:15:49,934
We put away Figgis three weeks ago.
396
00:15:50,019 --> 00:15:51,769
Pimento should've been back by now.
397
00:15:51,896 --> 00:15:54,481
We had plans to meet on that
park bench once the coast was clear,
398
00:15:54,565 --> 00:15:55,607
but he hasn't shown up.
399
00:15:55,691 --> 00:15:57,275
Maybe he's deep undercover,
400
00:15:57,359 --> 00:16:00,070
or he doesn't remember
who he is, or maybe he's dead.
401
00:16:00,237 --> 00:16:01,280
Wow. Thanks.
402
00:16:01,780 --> 00:16:04,448
You're right, my fiancé's a
total weirdo who's probably dead.
403
00:16:04,532 --> 00:16:06,992
I'll just give up on him
and go do my paperwork.
404
00:16:07,076 --> 00:16:10,705
No, Diaz, wait.
Maybe he's just really, really injured!
405
00:16:10,871 --> 00:16:12,081
Come on, Amy.
406
00:16:13,832 --> 00:16:16,418
All right, "Fiske, Jones, Thompkins…
407
00:16:17,669 --> 00:16:20,672
"Smith." Smith.
408
00:16:21,756 --> 00:16:23,382
Hey, NYPD, freeze!
409
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,051
Slow down! This isn't fair!
I have a cane!
410
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:32,140
Stop! Stop, stop, stop. NYPD.
411
00:16:32,890 --> 00:16:35,017
NYPD. I need to commandeer this vehicle.
412
00:16:35,101 --> 00:16:36,686
It's a crossover.
413
00:16:36,978 --> 00:16:39,146
It's a crossover SUV,
and you can't have it.
414
00:16:39,230 --> 00:16:40,855
I'm a cop.
Can you please get out of the car?
415
00:16:40,939 --> 00:16:42,774
No, this is Schmidt's mom's car,
416
00:16:42,858 --> 00:16:45,735
and I'm more scared of her
than I am of some two-bit thug.
417
00:16:45,819 --> 00:16:47,237
I'm not a thug. I'm police.
418
00:16:47,404 --> 00:16:48,821
Okay, then name one law.
419
00:16:48,905 --> 00:16:49,988
Don't kill people.
420
00:16:50,072 --> 00:16:51,823
That's on me. I set the bar too low.
421
00:16:51,907 --> 00:16:53,158
Look, can you please just get out?
422
00:16:53,242 --> 00:16:55,494
Okay, you can drive,
but I'm not getting out.
423
00:16:55,578 --> 00:16:57,162
Right. Also, I have the seat warmer on.
424
00:16:57,246 --> 00:16:58,663
I don't just have a really hot butt.
425
00:16:58,747 --> 00:17:02,584
Doesn't matter to me.
A perp is getting away. It's very hot.
426
00:17:03,752 --> 00:17:07,546
I can't believe this is happening.
Thanks a lot, New York.
427
00:17:07,630 --> 00:17:09,381
You know what? If your city's so great,
428
00:17:09,465 --> 00:17:11,132
then how come it's not the state capital?
429
00:17:11,216 --> 00:17:13,260
What?
Who cares about the state's capital?
430
00:17:13,344 --> 00:17:15,303
This is the concrete jungle
where dreams are made of.
431
00:17:15,387 --> 00:17:17,346
That doesn't sound right.
"Where dreams are made of"?
432
00:17:17,430 --> 00:17:19,348
I don't know. You tell me.
It's your dumb city.
433
00:17:19,432 --> 00:17:20,474
It's grammatically odd.
434
00:17:20,558 --> 00:17:21,934
Whatever, I'm sure wherever you're from
435
00:17:22,018 --> 00:17:23,394
has strange songs written about it, too.
436
00:17:23,478 --> 00:17:24,937
Los Angeles?
437
00:17:25,104 --> 00:17:27,154
Damn it, all the songs there are so good.
438
00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:31,150
Watch my soup!
439
00:17:31,234 --> 00:17:33,695
I'm chasing a criminal.
Your soup is not important.
440
00:17:33,779 --> 00:17:37,114
You took an oath to serve and protect.
That applies to my soup.
441
00:17:37,198 --> 00:17:38,615
You know that's not
what the oath is about.
442
00:17:38,699 --> 00:17:40,158
You're making a point
you don't even believe in.
443
00:17:40,242 --> 00:17:41,285
Garbage truck!
444
00:17:41,452 --> 00:17:42,495
[BOTH YELLING]
445
00:17:45,789 --> 00:17:47,456
Damn it! He got away.
446
00:17:47,540 --> 00:17:50,209
Well, I spilled my soup.
You tell me which is worse.
447
00:17:50,293 --> 00:17:53,004
My thing! Very clearly, my thing.
448
00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:57,966
JEFFORDS: Captain
Holt, can we talk to you?
449
00:17:58,050 --> 00:18:01,136
What is the meaning of this?
Am I the subject of a punking?
450
00:18:01,220 --> 00:18:03,137
It's a beginning-of-work hang.
451
00:18:04,389 --> 00:18:06,307
And why are you all in such good moods?
452
00:18:06,391 --> 00:18:08,392
Because you told us
that you're miserable, too.
453
00:18:08,476 --> 00:18:11,769
SANTIAGO: And that means you'll fight
to get us off the night shift, right?
454
00:18:11,853 --> 00:18:13,730
Well, here's what I
have to say about that.
455
00:18:13,814 --> 00:18:16,191
The night shift stinks.
Stinks like a butt.
456
00:18:16,733 --> 00:18:18,359
And I will do everything in my power
457
00:18:18,443 --> 00:18:20,403
to make sure we get
back to the day shift.
458
00:18:20,487 --> 00:18:23,572
What are we standing around for?
Put some Sousa on already.
459
00:18:23,698 --> 00:18:26,200
I want to get wild.
460
00:18:26,742 --> 00:18:28,285
Well, well, well, if it isn't one
461
00:18:28,369 --> 00:18:29,827
of the world-famous Night Bros.
462
00:18:29,911 --> 00:18:31,496
It's "The Night Boys,"
463
00:18:31,621 --> 00:18:34,040
and why did I correct you?
I would've preferred "Bros."
464
00:18:34,124 --> 00:18:35,666
Did you solve your case yet? No.
465
00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:38,210
Night shift, am I right?
You remind me of me.
466
00:18:38,294 --> 00:18:40,170
It's not the night shift, okay?
467
00:18:40,254 --> 00:18:41,880
I found the perp, and I
would've taken him down,
468
00:18:41,964 --> 00:18:43,590
but I'm hobbled, and
I didn't have a partner
469
00:18:43,674 --> 00:18:46,635
because ever since Boyle had
a son, that's all he can focus on.
470
00:18:46,719 --> 00:18:49,178
Whoa, hey.
Are you angry at Boyle for having a kid?
471
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,930
No, I'm just mad because
I'm working the night shift,
472
00:18:52,014 --> 00:18:53,515
and I have to use a cane, and, yes,
473
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:55,100
the one thing I could always
count on no matter what,
474
00:18:55,184 --> 00:18:57,019
Boyle being there for me, is also gone.
475
00:18:57,103 --> 00:19:00,103
What do you say we let day-shift
Lohank take a crack at this?
476
00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:03,358
I'm going to put a little
something up in the old hopper.
477
00:19:03,442 --> 00:19:04,484
You tell me if it vibes with you.
478
00:19:04,568 --> 00:19:05,610
That's so gross.
479
00:19:05,694 --> 00:19:08,028
Life moves forwards, not backwards,
480
00:19:08,112 --> 00:19:10,364
and things will never be as they were.
481
00:19:10,448 --> 00:19:12,032
And you can be angry about that,
482
00:19:12,116 --> 00:19:16,286
or you can embrace the fact that
your best friend now has a son.
483
00:19:16,453 --> 00:19:17,829
How cool is that, amigo?
484
00:19:18,621 --> 00:19:23,292
"Amigo. '' All right, fine,
yes, I'll admit it is pretty cool.
485
00:19:23,376 --> 00:19:25,326
Boyle's wanted it for a very long time.
486
00:19:25,794 --> 00:19:26,878
And I guess I haven't actually spent
487
00:19:26,962 --> 00:19:28,963
that much time with Nikolaj yet.
"Nikolaj."
488
00:19:29,047 --> 00:19:31,591
Man, am I seriously about to
take emotional advice from Lohank?
489
00:19:31,675 --> 00:19:33,676
You know you want to, compadre.
490
00:19:35,803 --> 00:19:36,846
Go to him.
491
00:19:38,306 --> 00:19:42,934
Hey, I'm really sorry.
I shouldn't have said that about Pimento.
492
00:19:43,018 --> 00:19:44,560
I'm sure he's going to come back.
493
00:19:44,644 --> 00:19:46,104
I'm not even thinking about it anymore.
494
00:19:46,188 --> 00:19:47,772
That wasn't even me
crying in the bathroom earlier,
495
00:19:47,856 --> 00:19:49,899
that was someone else with these
same boots, but now she's gone.
496
00:19:49,983 --> 00:19:52,526
Look, when Jake was
in witness protection,
497
00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:54,653
and I didn't know when
he was ever coming back,
498
00:19:54,737 --> 00:19:56,571
you were always there
when I needed to vent.
499
00:19:56,655 --> 00:19:58,573
So, I'll do your paperwork,
500
00:19:58,657 --> 00:20:01,367
and if you ever want company
on that bench, I'm there.
501
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,661
Thanks.
I would advise against it, though.
502
00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:06,330
If he does come back, things are
going to get real raunchy real fast.
503
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:09,500
Like, we do a lot of licking.
That's probably indecent exposure…
504
00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:10,625
Okay, got it.
505
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,502
You know what? I'll just
start with this stack right here.
506
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,338
Thanks, Rosa. Okay, good talk.
507
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,342
Hey, what's up?
508
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:20,008
I can't work the case tonight.
509
00:20:20,092 --> 00:20:21,635
Nikolaj's allergies are acting up,
510
00:20:21,719 --> 00:20:24,012
and now the dog seems to be
allergic to him. It's this whole thing.
511
00:20:24,096 --> 00:20:25,556
Did you find Smith?
512
00:20:25,681 --> 00:20:27,183
No, he actually got away.
513
00:20:27,975 --> 00:20:30,975
Sorry, man. It's all right.
It's the day shift's problem now.
514
00:20:31,269 --> 00:20:33,062
Whatever happened to
working it till it's done?
515
00:20:33,146 --> 00:20:37,650
Honestly, Lohank kind of
talked some sense into me.
516
00:20:37,858 --> 00:20:38,900
Lohank?
517
00:20:38,984 --> 00:20:40,694
Yeah, it was so gross.
518
00:20:41,362 --> 00:20:44,197
But I want to apologize. For what?
519
00:20:44,281 --> 00:20:45,574
Well, I kept talking about how I wanted
520
00:20:45,658 --> 00:20:46,824
everything to go back to normal,
521
00:20:46,908 --> 00:20:50,328
but if that actually happened,
this little guy wouldn't be here.
522
00:20:50,703 --> 00:20:51,746
Or is he big?
523
00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:53,080
I don't know what size
kids are supposed to be,
524
00:20:53,164 --> 00:20:54,206
or anything about kids, really.
525
00:20:54,290 --> 00:20:57,041
I think maybe that's part of the problem.
It doesn't matter.
526
00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:58,525
I got a present for Nikolaj.
527
00:20:59,419 --> 00:21:01,672
Thanks, Jake. Come on in, give it to him.
528
00:21:01,797 --> 00:21:02,839
Niko.
529
00:21:02,923 --> 00:21:03,965
Hey, little man.
530
00:21:04,049 --> 00:21:05,382
A garbage truck!
531
00:21:05,466 --> 00:21:07,426
You want to know something cool?
532
00:21:07,510 --> 00:21:10,179
A truck just like this
almost killed me today.
533
00:21:10,388 --> 00:21:11,430
[CLEARS THROAT]
534
00:21:11,597 --> 00:21:13,432
Kissed me, almost kissed me.
535
00:21:13,516 --> 00:21:16,393
Anyway, let's get some
trash in this thing. Am I right?
536
00:21:17,185 --> 00:21:18,520
You're silly.
537
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:19,937
Yep, I am silly.
538
00:21:20,021 --> 00:21:21,898
Oh, my God, this is a dream come true.
539
00:21:21,982 --> 00:21:23,815
I gotta get my phone. I gotta film this.
540
00:21:23,899 --> 00:21:25,776
But then I'll miss it.
But I want it forever.
541
00:21:25,860 --> 00:21:26,985
But I should stay in the moment.
542
00:21:27,069 --> 00:21:28,111
But then I'll forget.
543
00:21:28,195 --> 00:21:29,795
Oh, my God, this is a nightmare!
42189
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