All language subtitles for Brooklyn.Nine-Nine.S02E16.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE

All right, here's where we stand.

This nightclub is the home base
for the Mario crime syndicate.

I've been tracking the
club owner, Vladimir Drogic,

aka "The Dragon,"

aka my first perp with a cool nickname.

What about "El Baboso?" The Dagger?

Yeah, turns out Rosa
was lying about that.

"El Baboso" actually means "The Slug."

[ROSA LAUGHS] Tonto.
That means "dum-dum."

It was very cruel.
I referred to myself as "El Baboso"

to several beautiful Latina ladies.

Oh, that's your type, isn't it, Jakey?

-Like Sophia…
-[JAKE BLABBERING]

Anyway, "The Dragon" is involved
in several counts of human trafficking

as well as…

I'm sorry, what's going on? Who are you?

Drexel with the Organized Crime unit.

I'm here for the Mario case materials.

Oh, are you?

Well, we'll see what my
captain has to say about this.

Thank you for taking the materials.

Make sure you also pick up the
files that are on Peralta's desk.

Wow, that is not how
I saw it playing out.

Sir, I thought you said this was my case.

I gave you two weeks. I'm done
fending off the Organized Crime unit.

Squad, since Peralta's
briefing was cut short,

you can all use this time
to clean up your desks.

Look at this place.
Half-eaten food, crumpled tissues,

pictures of your families.

What's wrong with pictures?

If you love someone, you'll
remember what they look like.

What is this? Rubber band ball.

Keep your bands in a box or a bag.

Since you all apparently
have time to play throw,

I'm canceling overtime for the
month, effective immediately.

Get to work! And de-ball these bands.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

What is going on?

Holt's been in a bad mood all week.

Did somebody do something to set him off?

Jake, are you seriously
asking why Captain Holt is mad?

What do you mean? The Wednesday incident?

Hey, hey.
Just closed my 10th felony of the month

and I thought we could celebrate.

Might I remind you that
this is a police precinct

and it's 10:00 in the morning?

Thought you might say that.

That's why this is
non-alcoholic sparkling cider.

There's absolutely nothing
you could be mad about.

[POPS] Uh-oh.

No, no, no.
Look, I was the first one in on Wednesday.

This story is already full of holes.

He was in a bad mood
before those sprinklers went off.

Something must have happened at home.

Dude, just admit that
you ruined everything

and you turned our
lives into a living hell.

No biggie.
You guys, this is not my fault.

Boyle, you believe me, right?

Don't make me do this, Jake.

Betrayed!

All right, you know what? Fine.

I'm gonna prove to all of you

that something else is
responsible for his bad mood.

It's probably Boyle.

Don't worry about it. Don't open it.

No personal calls.

What the hell? That was Marcus.

He's gonna think I hung up on him.

Leave him wanting more.

That's basic seduction stuff, Diaz.

Captain Holt has been in a bad mood,

and I'm not letting it get
any worse on my watch.

I need overtime back.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Six banks robbed in three weeks,

$250,000 stolen

citizens trembling in fear.

Well, no more.

Boyle! You got your bank robber.

Went home last night, no overtime,

just me and some brie

and I cracked it.

So, here he is,

the thug that's been
terrorizing the city.

Say hello, Marvin.

Hello.

Oh, my God. He's so old.

He's not that old.
His nurse isn't even full time.

He couldn't pull off a bank job.

He couldn't pull off
the cap on his medicine.

I can hear you.

I'm sorry.

This guy is a ruthless criminal.

I'm sorry, sir.
Is this going to take long?

Because I was hoping to
buy some slacks this afternoon.

I like corduroy. You like corduroy?

I love corduroy.

He likes corduroy.

You sure you have the right guy?

Wasn't the robber strong and fast?

And able to eat solid foods?

Nobody saw him eat.

The guy wore a rubber mask
and his voice was disguised.

My system's a little unsettled.

Could I trouble you for a ginger ale?

Oh, of course, sir.

We'll get that and a
comfy chair for you to sit in.

Yeah?

I robbed those banks.

I don't even need the money.

But I like to see the tellers squirm.

I get off on violence.

Oh, my God.

Here you go. Oh, thank you so much.

You're such a doll. I must pay you.

No, no, no. I insist, I insist.
Right here.

You remind me of my granddaughter.

Aw, you are so sweet.

I haven't got a granddaughter.

[SIGHS]

What are you doing here?
You're not scheduled to work today

and overtime is canceled.

Yeah. Well, remember about a
week ago, when I came in here

with a bottle of sparkling cider?

Setting off my sprinklers.
Drenching my office.

Destroying a paper crane
folded for me by Kevin.

Right, I forgot how that ended.

The point is, that was
all just regular cop stuff.

There's no way that can be the
reason you've been in such a bad mood.

Bad mood? I'm sorry, have I not been
bursting into song enough for you lately?

Would you like me to click my heels
together or skip like a school child?

Yes, to all of that.

But for reals, what non-me
thing is bothering you?

Is there trouble at home?

Peralta, I'm not gonna
discuss my home life with you.

We're not friends. We're not family.
You're not my husband.

Oh, that's hurtful.

I thought we had a special bond.

I was your secret Santa last year.

And I already thanked you for
the "Who Farted?" baseball cap.

But you never wear it.

So, Holt won't tell me if
something happened at home

because I'm not his husband.

But you know who is his husband?

His husband? His husband.

I was just a little slow.

Yeah, Kevin's not gonna talk to you
because he can't stand detectives.

Yes, but he can stand youse.

Nuh-uh. I spent a lot of time cultivating
a good relationship with Kevin.

He finally calls me Gina
instead of Ms. Linetti.

All right, fine.
Then, I'm calling in my chit.

You kiss your mother with that mouth?
No, "Chi-it."

What? Remember when I got you this job?

You said, "OMG, Jake! I owe you one!"

I said "OMG"?

That was before other people
started saying it. I was an originator.

You said I could ask for anything.

And for six years, I've
been sitting on that chit.

Well, now, I'm cashing it in.

A receipt for almonds?

Yeah, I just thought it
would be more dramatic

to slide something across the table.

It wasn't.
But since I made that promise, fine.

Hey, Kevin. Gina, good to see you.

Jake's here, too.

Yo!

Gina, I know you like champagne
with a drop of pomegranate juice.

I like to say it's nature's classiest
alcohol mixed with its "narstiest" fruit.

And Peralta, I hope this will do.

It's a can of orange soda from
when some other children visited.

It's perfect.
Thank you for inviting us in.

Yes, I invited Gina in.
You were with her.

Okay, look. Everyone's blaming
me for the Captain's horrible mood

because of a small thing that
happened Wednesday morning.

When you flooded his office with cider?

Well, the water actually flooded it.
The cider just caused it.

But I swear, he was already
upset when he got to work.

He was anger articulating.

Coat, coat, jacket, coat.

Is this a police precinct,
or a Turkish bazaar?

Hmm. Yes, I dread those
annunciated denunciations.

-Yeah, I hate those.
-[REPEATS UNINTELLIGIBLY]

So, my question is,

could something have happened
at home before he left for work?

Well, I remember that morning.

He left this house at 7:00
and was in a great mood.

In fact, he was still chuckling about

the previous night's Charlie Rose.

Fine, so your marriage
might not be the problem.

But he didn't get to work until 10:00.

That means whatever ruined his
mood happened in those three hours.

We have to retrace his steps.

We? I'm not going to
investigate my own husband.

Uh-huh. Totally.

Well, that was a great
chit-chat, don't you think, Gina?

Seemed like it went real bad for you.

Chit-chat?

Oh. You know, Kevin, maybe if we figure
out what caused Raymond's bad mood,

we could fix it. Good idea, Gina.

I suppose we could look into it.

Yes! Great. Let's go right now.

No time to lose. Don't look, just run!

You're trying to get
me out of here before

I see the orange soda you
spilled on that chair, aren't you?

I'm already out the door! It worked!

What the hell?

Are you throwing a tea
party for this monster?

He was sitting in processing,
and he just looked so lonely.

This guy is guilty. He confessed to me,

but now he's pretending that he didn't.

You must have misheard me.

I didn't do anything.

Except being charmed
by these two lovely ladies.

Oh, cut it with the
"sweet old coot" routine.

You're going to jail, my friend,
in a trolley named Charles.

A trolley? Trolleys are cool.

They have the bells. You know what?

Just take your tea and
leave my perp alone. Please?

Thank you, ladies for bringing
a little sunshine into my gray life.

[SIGHS]

You want to know what I'm
gonna do with the money I stole?

Hmm? Prostitutes.

[GROANING]

Amy, you heard him.
Tell me you heard him!

What? Son of a bitch!

Well, this is where Raymond
eats breakfast every morning.

Yes, I know. He's always raving
about how they don't have specials.

Diane, hello. This is my friend, Gina.
And this is Detective Peralta.

They work with my Raymond.

Oh, Peralta.

You are so old to behave the way you do.

Oof. What?

I'm sure he vents about
everyone on the squad.

Nope. Just you.

Damn it, Diane!
What are you doing after this?

So, did anything unusual happen when
Raymond was here last Wednesday?

Did he mention anything?

No. He had his regular breakfast.

Room temperature water
and one hard-boiled egg yolk.

Hmm. Well, that is his good mood food.

So, Peralta, we know he
was fine through breakfast.

Looks like you're still on the hook.

No, there was still plenty of
time before he got to work.

Gina, what did he do next?

Well, according to his "schedge," his
next stop was his weekly painting class.

Painting class?

Can I guess what he paints?

Pictures of pie charts.

Multiple still lifes of this gray rock.

[WHISPERS] It's even more boring.

So, Gerald, did anything
happen to Raymond last week?

Did he seem like something or
someone had him in a bad mood?

It was his day to pick the
music, and he chose Haydn.

So, he was in a good mood or a bad mood?

GINA: A great mood, Jake.

Oh, you're Jake.

Damn it.
What are you doing after this, Gerald?

What is wrong with our Internet?

I like to back up my
data every 15 minutes

and it's taking 17 minutes per backup.

I'm in a data-backup deficit.

We are in the same boat.

I've been trying to
load this video all day.

You're watching videos during work?

I told him to do it, sir.
It's case-related.

"Turtle humps computer mouse."

Yeah. "Turtle" is the name of
a local pervert we are chasing.

[SIGHS]

Come on, Hitchcock! Get it together!

So, did anything strange happen

when you and Raymond sparred last week?

No. As usual, Raymond
was the king of the croisé

and I got in a few good raddoppios.

So, just a bunch of normal words.

Are you sure we're talking
about last Wednesday?

Positive. I haven't seen him since.

You haven't? Hmm-mmm.

I'm sorry. I need to leave. Excuse me.

Kevin? Kev?

What's going on?

Raymond has been lying to me.

Three mornings this week, he
told me he was fencing with Dan.

Why would he do that?
Why would he lie to me?

I don't know.
Maybe it's connected to his bad mood.

My husband does not lie to me.

This investigation of yours
was a bad idea. I'm going home.

I have to sort this out with Raymond.

Goodbye, Peralta.

Linetti. Linetti?

No. We were on a first-name basis.

Gina, this is bad.

Kevin's upset, Holt's gonna be
angry, we're both gonna get fired,

and I'm gonna die alone.

Jake, why don't you just do the
right thing and jump out a window?

Captain Holt will never fire me

if he knows I'm mourning
the death of a close friend.

Or we could try plan B and just fix it.

You never even tried plan A though.

Hey. How did it go with Kevin?

Are you willing to admit
everything's your fault?

No, Amy.
Because none of this is my fault.

Except for how you meddled
in the Captain's life today,

possibly causing repercussions in
his marriage that could last a lifetime.

Yes. That is completely on me.

But Amy, you didn't know
that, so you were still wrong.

You two need to go.

You're not supposed to be here and
the Captain's at a new level of anger.

Constant smiling.

[CHUCKLING]

It's horrible.

All smiling's horrible. This is worse.

We're here so I can activate the Holy
Network of Administrative Assistants.

Acronym "H-Naah."

We high-level assistants keep track
of what's going on with all the bosses.

Jealous, Amy? Yeah, I'd tap that.

Network. I'd tap that network.
That's a thing people say.

Yeah. No.

I've answered all your
questions, young man.

What more do you want from me?

I'd like you to tell Santiago
about the banks you robbed

and how you get off on violence.

What? Boyle. Oh, my God.

[KNOCKING]

What are you doing?
Why are you being so weird about this?

Marvin Miller is guilty and he
thinks he can get away with it.

He also thinks the
subway should be horses.

He's old is what I'm saying.

He knows exactly what he's doing.

He's messing with me
because I'm not intimidating

like Terry or dignified like Jake or model
handsome like Jake or funny like Jake.

[SIGHS] Yeah, I might buy
my shoes at a kids' store,

and yeah, I might be scared of geese.

But I am a damn good cop
and I will not be made a fool of.

So, I'm gonna go into that room

and I'm gonna get that lousy old geezer

to admit on camera that
he robbed those banks.

He just died.

What?

Okay, here's what I learned.

The chief's assistant, Ryan,
was only pretending to have mono.

Gina, about Holt. Fine.

Apparently, he was supposed to meet Deputy
Chief Ash near his fencing club at 9:30.

But he canceled at the very
last minute with no explanation.

"H-Naah" does it again. [GIGGLING]

Okay. So, something happened
between fencing and coffee.

We just have to figure out what.

Totes. But first, let's check in
with Ryan on how to fake mono.

Because if I can nail that,

whoo! Game changer.

Okay. So, Captain Holt
leaves fencing and heads north.

If we really want to do this,
we've got to get in his head.

We have to be Captain Holt.

[DEEP VOICE] Hello, Gina.

How does this sound?

Captain Holt, is that you?

Oh, no, it's Jake,
nailing your voice exactly.

Right? The trick is to find a key
phrase you know exactly how he'd say.

Mine is "Peralta, that's enough!"

Seriously, Jake, this is getting scary.

[LAUGHS IN DEEP VOICE]

Come with me, young wise assistant.

Let us walk in this direction.

Oh. A hot dog.

Would I stop?
Not for one of those, I wouldn't.

Damn it, it's morphing into British.
Do your catchphrase.

Peralta, that's enough!

And I'm walking with purpose.

And I'm walking with purpose.

And bingo.

A door?

[GASPS] It's a Narnia situation.

No, but I love that.

It's a security camera.

Something happened to Holt when he
walked past here, we'll be able to see it.

[IMITATING HOLT] Peralta, you genius.

Hmm, that does not sound like him.

Okay. Personal photos are
down, kitchen is spotless,

and I got the silver-painted
breakdancer outside

to move his very loud boom box elsewhere.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

You beat him in a dance-off?

No, I destroyed him.

There's absolutely nothing
here that will set off Holt.

Oh, oh! I was trying to cook
my oatmeal with a road flare

but it caught on fire.

Why are you using a road flare?

You said the kitchen was off-limits!

Yeah. This is your fault, Sarge.
Give me that.

I'm just holding a road flare,
stepping on some oatmeal.

Just doing me.

I can't believe that you of all people
are my biggest problem today, Jeffords.

Kevin, is the Captain home?

No. Good.
I figured out what happened to him.

He was mugged.

What? He told you this?

No. I used my detective skills as well as

my spot-on Holt
impression to figure it out.

I retraced his steps and
found security footage.

After he left fencing, three shady
guys followed him into an alley.

One of them had a knife.

That's why he's been in such a bad mood.

He's a police captain that got mugged.
He's embarrassed.

Oh, my goodness.

Peralta. There he is!

What are you doing in my house? Raymond.

You were mugged? What?

What did you say to him?

Captain, it's okay.
There's nothing to be embarrassed about.

I'm not embarrassed and I wasn't mugged.

Three men tried to mug me. But I
fought them off, injuring two of them.

Wait, so you heroically fought off three
guys and that put you in a bad mood?

If I did that, I would literally
write a song about myself.

It would be like…

♪ Jake, the hero
Abs of steel, sha-la-la-la ♪

Why would you keep this from me?

And why would you lie
about going to fencing?

Because he couldn't go.

Because he's injured.

I wasn't injured. I was lightly stabbed.

I'm sorry. You were stabbed?

Lightly stabbed.
I didn't want to frighten you.

[SCOFFS] You are my husband.

I want you to tell me everything.

Especially things that might frighten me.
How can you not know that?

Raymond, you are unbelievable.

Hey, Captain. You look so tall.

What you have done is
beyond unprofessional.

You cannot muck around in people's
private lives. Get out of my house.

But get into your car?

I'll go.

Sir. Detective.

So, how was your night?

Of work.
I'm not asking about your personal life.

I don't care about you personally.

I mean, I'm neutral.

I mean, who are you?

Floundering is worse than silence.

Oh. Cool, cool, cool, cool.
No doubt, no doubt, no doubt.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

Man, this elevator is slow, huh?

That's because you
haven't pressed the button.

That's why you're the Captain.

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] So smart.
I want to just…

[CLICKS TONGUE] Zip.

[IN INDIAN ACCENT] No more talky!

-Hmm.
-[ELEVATOR DINGS]

Yeek, blast of cold air
coming out of that box.

Name of Amy's sex tape.

Hey, man, come on. Not cool.

I'm going through something.
Just let me have this one.

I'm sorry you wasted your chit, Jake.

It's all right.
I want to apologize to Holt,

but it seems personal and I'm not supposed
to talk to him about personal stuff.

Oh, boo. I guess you need to think of some
professional way to make it up to him.

Wait a minute. Gina, that's it.

I just had an idea.

[DEEP VOICE] Peralta, you're a genius.

Who was that? ScarJo?

It was Holt, and I think you know that.

I thought it was ScarJo.

I can't believe that bastard beat me.

Whoa. He's dead. It's kind of hard
to see how he's the winner in this.

He made me look like an idiot.

No, Amy and I were the idiots.

Because we let that
ancient windbag fool us.

He robbed the banks.

He gave me money for the ginger ale.

After you insisted he was guilty,

I went back and checked his dollar.

The serial numbers
matched the stolen bills.

You brought in the right guy.

You're a damn good cop, Boyle.

I know. No one listens.

Except when you threw water
in his dead face. That was rough.

I thought he was faking it.

I wanted to splash the lies out of him.

All right, Detective. What is this
all about? You have 70 seconds.

Why 70?

Do you really want to waste your
time while I explain my algorithm?

Right. All right. So, I pulled a
still from the security footage

of your attempted mugging and
sent it to the nearby precincts.

We ID'd one of the mopes
and that's his apartment.

I thought maybe you
would want to do the honors.

And you think this will make
everything you did better?

Well, maybe. It was Gina's idea, so…

It will. Gina had nothing to do with it.

You want to know why I
was so angry all week?

When those men came at me,
I acted like I was a 20-year-old.

I took a stupid risk and
I got myself stabbed.

I was in pain and frustrated
about lying to the man I love.

Kevin. Yes.

Obviously Kevin. Obviously.

What I'm trying to say is
you were right all along.

I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at
myself, and I took it out on the squad.

Peralta, you're a genius.

Oh, my God. You said it.

I heard you practicing in the men's room.

Yeah, that makes more sense.

Attention, squad. Quick announcement.

Overtime is reinstated,

and you are each allowed
two personal photographs,

two trinkets, and three
assorted knickknacks.

You know what?
Just follow Sergeant Jeffords' lead.

He always knows how to keep
this place running smoothly.

Nice. So, rubber band balls are back.

Oh, no, it's bad for the bands.

Ah, Kevin. Let me just get my coat.

Hello, Peralta.

Gina.
Oh, sweet Lords of Dance, thank you!

We're back on a first name basis.

Kevin, I am unable

and unwilling to discuss
personal matters with you.

I'm aware of that, yes.

In any case, thank you for your help.

I brought you both gifts.

Original Raymond Holts.

[GINA GASPS]

I will treasure this painting
of a rock for all times.

Ah, Rock 59 and 367.
Those are good rocks.

367 paintings of one rock?

This guy parties!