Original subtitles

And the Stick?

Ah, thank you.

Duke, how nice that you are back at Matching.

I never did care for Gatherum, you know.

Well, Duke, no more did I.

I'm afraid troubles pursue me, you know, even down to Matching.

- I'm in sad need of your advice. - Hm?

Well, to begin with, a new session barely begun,

I had two resignations in the past week, one, of course, the First Lord of the Admiralty.

Legge-Wilson. He will not be hard to replace.

- I believe Mr Finn is to have the post. - Yes.

He'll do it very well,

but once this sort of thing starts, others may go too.

And others may come, my dear Prime Minister.

- There's nothing to trouble you here. - Oh, perhaps not

Duke, there is something else.

There could... There could be scandal.

Scandal, Palliser?

Your Grace has been travelling all day, I think.

- Yes. - You may not have seen this.

Oh, The People's Banner?

I think you should read it.

A report has reached us,

a report signed and duly swam,

which makes it our duty to issue this positive statement.

The expenses incuned by Mr Ferdinand Lopez

during the recent by-election in the borough of Silverbridge were paid

by none other than His Grace, the Duke of Omnium and Gatherum. '

ls this true, Duke, that you gave Lopez money?

The man wrote to me. He'd incurred certain expenses.

- I sent him a cheque. - Why?

- I was bound in honor to do it. - But why?

The man had been induced to stand

by certain representations made to him from my house.

He was, shall we say, promised certain support, which was not given.

By the Duchess?

Would you kindly read the rest of it?

"We remember the public ostentation

with which the Duke repudiated all his influence in Silverbridge

but what do we find?

We find that there is the stain of gold upon his hands

All we can say is that he is no longer fit to fill the office of Prime Minister

or ever again to hold any trust under the Crown."

I think you should ignore this.

Ignore it utterly.

The People's Banner is known to be malicious.

Yes. Yes, of course it's malicious, Duke, and I know the motive.

I know the wretoh who wrote that.

Quintus Slide, the very man whom I refused to invite down to Gatherum.

But the fact remains, Duke, Mr Lopez was promised support.

But it was not you who promised that support.

The offer was made, Duke, and I have paid the money.

We could say that you paid the money

because certain of your agents mistakenly encouraged him,

having misapprehended your instructions.

But it would not be true.

But that is, as I understand it, what occurred.

My instructions were not misapprehended.

They were disobeyed.

Very well, and you repaid the money

out of an over-nice sense of honor on your wife's behalf.

You yourself have done nothing improper.

I can explain that to you, Duke,

but how can I explain that to the...to the gaping fools?

I will not have my family's name trampled on in public.

I don't want to press you on this, Duke,

but something must be told the public,

for your own comfort

We set sail next week for a month.

Heaven and earth, Maria, a whole month!

But I must go, my dear.

As the new First Lord of the Admiralty,

Phineas is obliged to go to sea to inspect our naval dispositions.

- Ooh. - He will lose his epaulettes else.

And must you go with him?

I have promised, my dear.

I don't very often go with him on his official duties,

but this time, he has especially asked for me to be with him.

Well, I think it's very hard on me.

- If my husband wants me... - Oh, bother your husband.

He knows perfectly well that there isn't another person in the world I can really say a thing to.

Why don't you have Mrs Grey? Alice Grey.

She's still out east with her husband. Anyway, she's not wicked enough.

She always did lecture me, and she won't stop now.

Perhaps it will do you no harm.

Oh, Marie, I'm already lectured quite enough by Plantagenet.

The other duke will be here.

Oh, he's so old that he goes to sleep straight after dinner.

And the private secretaries?

Well, they rush off to their rooms and hide from Plantagenet like a lot of mice.

A wife cannot hide so easily.

- When must you go? - Today, my dear, after luncheon.

- After luncheon? - England expects, Lady Glen.

Oh... Patriotism, Marie, is the last resort of a scoundrel.

- Oh, Duke. - Ah, my dear, I've been looking for you.

There is something you should know.

No, do not go, Mrs Finn. There is no need.

Marie's deserting me to go yachting.

Oh, I am sorry to hear that,

but your husbands trouble is somewhat graver.

I fear he is not...quite well.

Oh...

I have just heard.

I've just heard that there was a row about the money you paid to Mr Lopez.

- Who told you? - The other duke.

Of course, he was quite right I had to know.

l knew something was troubling you,

but why had you not told me?

- My dear, I didn't want you to be troubled. - Why not?

I should not be troubled, and no more should you be.

What can such a man as Slide do to you?

You're too big to feel the sting of a reptile such as that

I don't care to have my character impugned, not by such men as Slide and Lopez.

What matter, if you were in the right?

l read somewhere the other day

that great ships always have little worms attached to them

but the great ships swim on and know nothing of the little worms.

Except the worms conquer at the last.

Oh, they should not conquer me.

Now, what is this that they say about the money, that you should not have paid it?

- I begin to think that they're right. - In any case, it was my fault.

You paid the money because of what I had done,

and I assure you, Plantagenet, I promised Mr Lopez nothing.

All we need to do is make the fact public

When this is done, you will be cleared, and Mr Lopez will be shown up for what he is.

My dear, you too will be shown up.

Yes. Yes, as an interfering hussy, and I shall not mind one bit.

- I shall mind for you. - You must throw me to the whale, Plantagenet

If not, I shall write to the newspapers myself.

Please, just please, please, let somebody say

that the Duchess did so and so, and must be blamed for the whole affair.

Well, it was very wicked, no doubt,

but they can't kill me, nor yet dismiss me,

and I certainly shan't resign.

I should resign, my dear.

If all the ministers in England resigned when their wives did foolish things,

the government would stop tomorrow.

You must let the blame lie where the blame belongs,

squarely on your stupid wife.

No, my dear. You'd be talked about.

A man's wife should be talked about by no-one.

That's just highfalutin, Plantagenet.

My dear, you must allow me to judge for myself in these matters, and I will judge.

I will never say, 'I did not do it. It was my wife who did.'

Why not? Adam said so, because Adam chose to tell the truth.

And he's been despised ever since.

Oh, not for eating the apple, but for blaming the woman.

Glencora, I will not do it.

Hm.

Cora, will you kiss me?

Oh, my dear.

You must not think that I'm angry with you because this thing vexes me.

I dream always that we may live as other people live.

We'd be very silly to resort to that.

- You been with old Wharton? - Yes.

What joy there?

None,

beyond the bare promise of bread and water if all else fails.

I see. Now, you listen to me, Lopez, and listen hard.

As far as I can make out, there's only two things old Abe Wharton cares about,

his ducats and his daughter.

Mm.

Let him know he can't keep both.

Expand. Sexty, expand.

Well, from what you tell me, apart from old Abe himsetf,

there's only a son in the house,

a son who never dine in and is no company for Abe.

- He's not even there just new. He's abroad. - Exactly.

Like all such young fellows, he comes and goes as it pleases him.

But your wife, Emily, so you keep saying,

goes to see her father regularly every day.

She's probably his favourite anyhow.

Daughters usually are with fathers, particularly with widowers.

He's come to depend on her, Lopez, depend on her being there on call.

I do know that, but I can hardly charge him for her visits now, can I?

Well, not for so much an hour,

but suppose you make it plain to him

that in certain circumstances, these visits might cease altogether.

No. Emily would never consent

Listen, Lopez, any day now, we're going to have to pay for the guano!

The time has come when we have got to get rough.

You know how to do that as well as any man living,

particularly now you've been thrown over by your duchesses and dukes.

The time has come, Wharton, to be candid and direct.

I am very glad to hear it.

The long and the short is that I must have £20,000 within the month.

- Twenty? - Mrn-hm.

If I can raise this money, I shall be able to surmount all my difficutties

and become a wealthy man, probably before next year is done.

How can I believe such a tale,

or anything else you may tell me?

You have lied to me once too often, Lopez.

- Lied to you, sir? - Yes, sir, lie to me, sir.

And also to the Duke of Omnium,

or to one of us you have lied,

since you have extorted your so-called election expenses from us both.

- But you yourself put the idea into my head. - What?

When I said my expenses might be more than you paid me, you bade me go to the Duchess.

That, sir, was a joke.

I do not regard my affairs as a joking matter.

Now, if I don't get £20,000 soon,

to help me with my business, then everything here must be sacrificed.

I can only say what I said to you the other day.

For Emily's sake and for that of the child she is to bear,

you will be assured of food to eat and a roof over your head.

That's charity.

I will not be a party to your gambling transactions, and that's flat.

Then so is this. If you will not help me, then I must leave England.

I haven't told Emily yet, but if you do nothing for us, we will have to go.

Go? Go where?

Guatemala.

I have a friend, a Mr Mills Happenon, who will find me an opening there.

You would take Emily to Guatemala?

Well, if l can't succeed in London, I must go somewhere else,

and Emily, my wife, must go with me.

Now, unless you can give me £20,000, Wharton,

then Emily and I must leave for Guatemala in a matter of weeks.

I see. Blackmail.

As to my daughter, she must do as she thinks fit.

No. She must do as I think fit.

As you think fit?

Great heavens, man, she is carrying a child!

My child, and they do say that sea air is good for expectant mothers.

You mean that I must, whether I wish to or not?

Certainly you must.

I mean, good God, where is a woman's place? Do you not wish to come?

I wish to be wherever you are. You are the father of my child.

- It is my duty to be with you. - Right, very well.

But I do not wish to leave my father.

- He has done little enough for us. - He is my father and I love him.

If I go to this place that you speak of, I might never see him again.

Emily, my dearest, the alternatives are very clear.

Either we must leave England for Guatemala or we must have £20,000.

Now, perhaps you can make your father understand this.

You see, Emily, at the moment, we have one invaluable weapon

with which to fight for our survival, your unborn child.

My child? A weapon?

You see, it would be intolerable to your father that you, in your present condition,

should be taken away from him to a foreign country

from which you might never return.

New, it is your task to make your father understand that this indeed will happen,

that you and your child will indeed be taken from him unless we get the money that we need.

Now, once you have dinned that into him,

he is bound to surrender.

So, not only is my child a weapon, my father is an enemy who must be made to surrender?

Once you have done so, then we may all be friends again.

Friends?

How can I look him in the face, my father, who has always loved me as I love him?

I hope you are not forgetting the love that is due to me.

You owe more to your husband than you do to your father.

So I would have thought once.

But a husband who can ask such a thing of his wife...

I have no choice,

and if you love me,

you will do as I say.

I mean, do you love me, Emily?

By God, you will say that you do. Answer me.

Ferdinand, let me get this straight

You, as my husband, are asking me to go to my father

and ask for £20,000 as absolute condition of our remaining in this country?

Yes, 20,000 pounds. Remember.

Very well.

I will go to him and see what can be done.

That's my girl.

That's my good girl.

It's kind of you to come here today, Papa.

Not at all, my dear. Of course I should come to you now.

You mustn't tire yourself with outings.

Your husband is being considerate, I hope.

Emily?

It is my husband we must now discuss.

Sit down, Papa. He's out this afternoon and will not disturb us.

What have you to tell me of him?

You were right.

I've been a blind, obstinate fool, and have made a hideous mistake.

It is too late to reproach yourself with that now.

We must see what is to be done. Come and sit here by me.

Now, my darling, what specific complaint do you make of him? ls he cruel?

No, I couldn't say that. He doesn't strike me or misuse me, yet he torrnents me.

- He has immoral habits, perhaps? - No.

- Does he drink, go to other women? - No, nothing like that.

- Does he neglect you? - I only wish he did.

On the contrary, he burdens me with his attentions.

You are saying he makes untimely physical demands on you?

No. In all such matters, he behaves as a gentleman should.

No, I'm saying, Papa, that he talks constantly about one matter, and one alone.

I cannot bear it any more, and if l cannot stop him, I think I will go mad.

He talks to you of his money, I suppose.

Worse. He talks to me of your money.

First he says I must smile at you and wheedle it from you.

Then he says I must beg in the name of the child,

and now, Papa.

Now he says I must threaten to leave you for ever unless you give him £20,000.

Help me, Papa. What am I to do?

Emily...

From something he said the other day, I thought this might happen.

I've been thinking carefully about what to do for the best.

Now I have made up my mind.

Tell Lopez to come to my chambers tomorrow and he shall be satisfied.

You're going to give him all that money?

I mean, at any rate, that no more misery shall come to you.

- Emily tells me that you wish to see me. - Yes, Lopez.

You see, I now realise that you control one commodity

which even I will acknowledge is real and well worth the buying.

And you refer, of course, to Emily's continued residence in London.

No, sir. Emily herself controls that

I refer to your own absence from London,

to your total departure for ever,

from me and from mine.

- Leaving Emily behind me? - Of course.

Then the commodity which you propose to buy from me is, in fact, my wife.

Wives, as you may imagine, are very expensive things, Wharton,

when there is love and all that to be taken into account.

However, I should be interested to hear exactly what you propose.

So, the traveller returns at last.

What an age it seems since we saw you in Venice.

How is that nice Mr Tregear?

I think your sister hoped you'd bring him with you.

Tregear is in France, Mama, finishing his travels.

Oh, well, there's time enough for him to come to Matching by and by,

but just now, Silverbridge, there are other things to think of.

First, your Papa-

- ls he well? - Not altogether.

Oh, there's some row going on about the by-election at Silverbridge.

The details are too boring to rehearse,

but what you have to remember just now is to be very kind to your father

and fall in with all his wishes.

And what might those be?

He wishes you to spend your time preparing to go into the House of Commons.

He intends that you should try for the first suitable seat that falls vacant.

Well, l'll gladly do that.

Oh, but...

- I'll tell you a thing, Mama. - Mm? What thing?

When I go into the House, I shall sit with the Conservatives.

I've thought it all out and I've listened to all the arguments...

Conservatives?!

But the Pallisers have been Liberals ever since the word was invented and long before.

Yes, I know that, Mama, but a fellow must stick to his own views.

A fellow had better think very carefully about the pain those views may cause his father,

and see if he can't change them.

A fellow can't change his views like a shirt.

Well, he'd better keep them to himself for as long as it's possible.

Father will have to know sometime.

But not, please God, whilst he's still being tortured about the business of the by-election.

Never fear, Mother. I shall say nothing until I really have to.

That's my good boy

Well, I've invited Mabel Grex as you asked.

- She'll be here early next week. - Oh.

So, Lopez, for your pan, you solemnly undertake

to leave England for Guatemala as soon as possible

and never to approach Emily or any member of my family again.

Ido.

And for your part, Wharton,

you undertake to pay the following sums to me

or on my behalf.

£1,776 outstanding to various tradesmen, as listed on the back of this document,

the total amount owed by me to Mr Sextus Parker

for purchase of the guano which we hold,

an amount of which he himsetf will apprise you, and which may come to as much as £6,000.

And finally £5,000 to Mr Mills Happenon

for the purchase of shares in his Guatemala concern, Metal Piping Limited,

of which he is to make me manager.

You're certain the appointment is open to you?

Quite certain.

The only condition is that I buy these £5,000-with of shares in the firm.

And you can give me a cheque now, if you like.

I shall see Mr Mills Happenon himself about that.

You don't trust me a yard, do you, Wharton?

Not a millimeter, Lopez.

I shall pay Mr Happenon personally,

and, of course, this man...

this man, Sextus Parker.

Ferdinand?

What happened with my father today?

It is all to be made straight, Emily.

How made straight?

Is he paying you all that money?

Er...no, not exactly,

but all will be well, more or less, but it is rather in the melting pot for the moment.

I don't understand you.

Before you went to see my father, you were so clear and positive about your terms.

- How do you mean, 'in the metting pot'? - Please do not ask me to explain it.

But I do ask!

I must know what will happen.

- Be plain with me! - All right, on one thing I shall be plain.

Your father is a mean and vindictive old screw, Emily,

who drives a bargain as hard as a flint,

and with all that, he is as sandimonious as a Quaker

and as sly as a Gypsy, and you know what?

I wish that the old brute were dead and at the devil.

How dare you?

Dead, so you could get your greasy hands on his money just as you got them on me?

Oh, and how you itched for them.

You coward, to say it.

You coward, to insult my father behind his back.

You hate him because he was right about you from the start.

He said you were a foreigner, an alien, a creature of prey, and he was right.

You deceived me, you seduced me, and all for money. Yes, you seduced me.

Oh, never before we were married, my dear.

And, oh, how you loved it when I did begin.

I mean, how you whimpered and squealed for more and more.

You coward! Reptile!

You spit upon my father and you'd dance on his grave if you could,

but now that he's in some way saved you,

all you can do is wriggle and spit your puny venom like some worm trying to imitate a snake!

Don't you touch me.

Time was when you doted on me, Emily,

and you would still, if things had gone right,

and how typical of a woman to blame the troubles that her own heat has caused

on the poor serpent in the grass.

It is, I assure you, Mr Wharton, a very great opening for Lopez,

and, as his friend, I am very pleased that he is taking it on.

The concern is genuine, Mr Happenon?

As genuine as concerns in Guatemala can be.

That is to say, Mr Wharton, there must always be some element of risk.

What risk?

Metal Piping Limited, sir, will deal in guns, small cannon for the most part.

The guns themselves in their kind are genuine,

but there is always a risk that the supply of wars may dry up.

- Not in South America, I think. - A shrewd point, Mr Wharton.

Thank you, Mr Happenon. Here is another.

If you are satisfied as to Lopez's competence, why do you insist that he invests £5,000?

We can do with the extra capital,

and if he has invested money, he will manage it that much better.

And manager he positively will be, provided the money be invested?

Manager he will be, and leave for Guatemala by the next packet.

Thank you, Mr Happenon.

Mr Lopez and I will call on you in three days' time to deposit the money.

Sexton, you vacuous drunk!

- What? - You are drunk

No, I ain't.

I don't do a lot in that way, Lopez,

but, upon my word, I've been so put about these last days..

I told you it would be all right, and so it is.

Not quite what I would have wished, but right enough.

You mean he's paying you to keep your wife in London?

That sort of thing.

He will be round here in three or four days to settle for my share of the guano.

- Just in time. - Don't fuddle yourself, Sexty!

This is important!

Now, look, I have told him that my share may be as much as £6,000.

- Now, he seems to accept that - Lopez, you sooundrel!

So, if you can convince him that it really is that high,

then we'll screw him for £4,000 over and above what I really owe.

Now, I've set him up, Sexty.

You bowl him down and we'll split the £4,000 right along the middle. ls that understood?

You beautiful brute, Lopez!

You're a man after my own heart.

Right, you two are ready for our walk?

I have to get up my German, Silverbridge, for my tutor tomorrow morning,

but I know Mabel will be glad to go with you.

- Will you, Lady Mab? - If you promise not to make me go too far.

Nonsense, you're as strong as a horse.

ls that intended as a compliment, lord Silverbridge?

In his language, yes.

Then please remember that I only have two legs and cannot go at a gallop.

Oh, I dare say you'll trot along well enough.

Oh. My dears.

Mary, why aren't you going for a walk with the others?

I have a very difficult pasage of Goethe, Mama, to prepare for my tutor tomorrow morning,

and I thought it might be quite nice if Mabel and Silverbridge walked by themselves for once.

Hmm... Did you indeed?

Well, in future, my girl, you leave any little schemes of that kind to me.

- There was no scheme, Mama. - Mmm?

Well, if there were,

Mabel is such a sweet girl, and Silverbridge does like her very much.

Yes, but Silverbridge is still very young,

and he's got a lot of things to do before we start any matchmaking for him.

Lady Mabel Grex is well enough in her way,

but your brother may take his pick of all the girls in England,

and I think he should have a good long look before he begins any final choice.

- Mr Barlington Erie, Your Grace. - Collingwood.

Lady Glen. Mary.

- Oh, Barlington. - Where is the Duke?

He went out for a walk. Why?

I have come to see him on urgent business.

I would like him to return to London immediately.

Glencora?

Oh, Marie!

I am overjoyed to see you!

But why are you home so abruptly from your cruise?

Well, there was a telegram waiting for us al Gibraltar.

They wanted Phineas back in London, and I thought,

with things as they are, you might be glad of my company, so I came straight here.

Oh, yes, you are quite right, and thank you.

Nobody tells me anything. Everybody keeps things from me.

Plantagenet has just gone rushing off to London with a face as long as a lamppost,

and I just know, Marie, it's to do with the scandal about Lopez and the money.

- I fear so. - Why do they attack Plantagenet?

It was my fault.

Oh, Marie...

I've been confessing my sins as fast as I can.

If only Planty would blame me and be done.

The Government will be all right, won't it?

What does Mr Finn say?

Mr Finn says that all governments are mortal and dispensable, so why not this one?

Do you mean he would just stand by and watch it fall?

No, no.

Glenoora, after all this time, you should know that is not the way with Mr Finn.

But what is to happen, Marie?

Plantagenet will tell me nothing. Nothing.

And I'm not at all sure that I should either,

but I will, providing you promise to do nothing.

Nothing, nothing, nothing, Glencora, off your own bat.

- I promise. - Very well.

There is to be a special debate in the House

in which this whole wretched business of Mr Lopez will be cleared up, or so they hope.

They will blame me, then. There is no other way.

They will try to keep your name out of it. Your husband wishes this at any cost.

But how can they keep my name out of it?

They need not actually speak it.

I dare say everybody will know who is meant, so it will turn out just the same in the end,

but how it is to be done, I have not been told.

'...that plain as the Duke had made himself he was misunderstood.

There were still those who thought

that he wished the influence of Gatherum Castle should still be respected

though he himself might stand aloof.

- Why did they think so? - And who were they?

That His Grace, the Duke of Omnium, was earnest in his declarations and instructions,

the sequel, as we shall see, most fully proved,

but in the meantime he was being misinterpreted by his agents.

What agents?

I have not distinguished the honorable gentlemen

from whom these questions have come,

but I will tell them it is no part of my duty to gratify their morbid and indecent curiosity.

Withdraw! Withdraw! Mr Speaker, he's out of order!

Withdraw!

In the circumstances, I can find no reason to object

to the phrase that the Right Honourable Member for Tankerville has used.

If the honorable gentleman who called for a name

would rise in his place and repeat his demand,

I will most certainly retract the words 'morbid and indecent',

and substitute two more,

cruel and perverse.

I will tell that gentleman he is one who,

regardless of the real conduct of the Duke of Omnium,

either as a man or as a servant of the Crown,

is seeking only to inflict a cowardly wound that he may be gratified by a spectacle of pain.

Good answer.

Now, then, a candidate for Silverbridge was brought forward

by those interested in the Duke's affairs,

and this candidate was Mr Ferdinand Lopez,

but, as soon as the Duke heard this,

he immediately made it clear that he supported no man,

neither Mr Lopez nor any other.

In the event, Mr Lopez was not elected.

As it happens, his expenses were paid by a very generous father-in-law,

but Mr Lopez purported to believe that he had been...misled by the Duke's people,

and so he applied to His Grace for financial recompense,

or, in truth for those very expenses which his father-in-law had already paid,

and His Grace, knowing only that Mr Lopez had indeed received encouragement to stand,

though without his knowledge at the time, and certainly never from him...

- Then from whom? - That question has already been asked and answered.

His Grace, I say, with that nicety of honor,

for which he is esteemed throughout this country,

felt only that Mr Lopez had indeed been misled and did merit some reimbursement,

which His Grace then made out of his own pocket.

New, I need hardly pause to stigmatise the meanness of Mr Lopez' application,

bull may...l may, perhaps, conclude by saying

that this act of His Grace's could, in no case, be called worse than indiscreet

and that, to honorable members,

it may appear to savour rather more strongly of nobility than of indiscretion.

Hear! Hear!

So, the jolly old duke has been able to ride out the storm?

He'll survive, until the next thing.

And what will that be?

The mounting complaint that no legislation is being passed.

Even the Duke's own supporters are beginning to join in there.

And then, Barlington?

Then, Dolly, we'll have to see.

By Jove, look at that!

He's got a nerve, after what Phinny said about him in the house.

- By God, it's Cumberland's sword! - Cumberland's sword?

Once upon a time, Barrington, Butcher Cumberland made such a swine of himself

that when he came to the club next evening,

he was shown out by the members at the point of his own sword.

He didn't dare come back to collect it,

and it's been rusting away in the secretary's room ever since.

And now, when the committee want to expel a member for beastliness,

which hasn't happened for years and years and years,

because we're such an easy-going lot,

they send the head steward to him with Cumberland's sword,

pointing the way out, Mr Lopez...

for good.

- Good afternoon, Mr Wharton. - Mr Happerton.

- Ferdinand. - Mills.

I am now prepared to pay over £5,000 to purchase shares to that amount

for my son-in-law in Metal Piping Limited on this condition,

that he set sail for Guatemala to take up his post as manager within the week.

- I'm afraid there's been a slight change of plan. - Meaning?

I mean, Ferdinand, that the directors have changed their minds

They are no longer willing to employ you, with or without Mr Wharton's £5,000.

But the place was promised to me.

Yes, Ferdinand, but it wasn't promised

to a man who's been proclaimed in the House of Commons to be a swindler, a liar and a thief.

Forgive me, Mr Happerton, but I should have thought that was the sort of man you wanted.

Selling cannon is not an occupation for gentlemen.

Quite right, Mr Wharton, but there must be limits.

For example, you can, of course, sell consignments of cannon to both sides.

Their stupid quarrels are nothing to do with you,

but what you cannot do is to sell the same consignment to both sides,

as this leads to disappointment and unpleasantness in one or other customer.

This is just the son of thing Ferdinand seems to have been going in for,

if we are to believe Phineas Finn.

I disdain your drift.

And another thing, yesterday, poor Ferdinand was turned out of the club,

not just for any old thing, but for sheer beastliness.

They got out Cumberland's sword, Mr Wharton,

which hasn't been done since Lord Dolomore beat his second wife in The Mall way back in '54.

It is, at any rate, certain that Mr Lopez will not be going to Guatemala.

Quite certain.

Good afternoon, Mr Wharton.

Ferdinand?

By God, you've ruined me among you.

There is no mercy nor friendship anywhere.

Oh, it's you, Lopez. I thought it might be old Abe Wharton.

He's due by tomorrow at the latest.

Old Abe ain't coming, Sexty.

Not now. Bargain's ofl'.

But you told me it was all signed and sealed.

Yes, but the seal's come unstuck, Sexty, so we can forget it.

No, we can't!

You still owe me 2,000 quid for your share of the guano.

I ain't forgetting that, Lopez.

I owe you, but I can'! pay you.

And new our affairs together must be at an end,

and I am very sorry.

I mean, we should have made fortunes, but we didn't, and that's all about it.

- You came here just to tell me that? - No, to say goodaye.

That's very kind and condescending of you, I'm sure.

For old time's sake, Sexty.

In your own peculiar way, you've dealt honestly with me, which is more than most others have.

Fine horseflesh, it would seem, lets one down.

Give me a dependable old ass like Sexty Parker any day.

I'm an as for listening to you, Lopez. Where do you think you're going now?

Where you won't find me, Sexty

No, your only hope is to go to Abe Wharton,

tell him the tale, and perhaps he might give you some money for the sake of the family honor.

Yeah.

He's still got his money, I suppose. That isn't what's gone wrong?

Yes, he's still got his money,

and do you know why?

Because he believes in keeping it to himsetf.

No, you'd have to get up very early in the morning to get the better of old Abe.

So, best of luck, old boy.

Now, you see here, Lopez...

Don't trouble to see me out. I do know the way.

Is anything yet settled, Ferdinand, about what my father will do for us?

You've not told me anything certain.

Don't worry, Emily.

It will all be settled soon enough, I dare say,

Then you will tell me nothing?

I can'! just yet

Ah, but see here, Emily, tell them I would like my breakfast very early tomorrow morning,

um...6.30 sharp.

- Where are you going? - I have an appointment out of London which...

It may make all the difference to our future.

I wish you would tell me more.

I don't want to trouble you with it, Emily,

not just now.

You are tired, my love.

You go to bed.

Tell them about my breakfast, then go to bed.

- You will come soon? - No.

I have much to attend to against this meeting tomorrow,

and I shall sleep in my dressing room tonight.

Since I have to be up so early, I would not wish to disturb you.

Nothing would disturb me if only you would tell me what we are to do.

Don't be impatient, Emily.

I shall be able to make it all clear, I think,

when I return tomorrow evening.

Anyway.

Goodaye till then, my love.

Good night

Ten Way Junction, please.

First class single ticket

Ten Way Junction, sir?

That's not a place. That's just for changing trains.

Precisely. I'm going there to change trains.

Where are you going to change for, sir?

That, sir, I shall decide when I reach the Ten Way Junction.

I make it 18 pence.

I doubt there's even a ticket office there.

Junction's all it is, you see.

Then I shall have to pay the difference when I reach my destination, shan't I?

Ferdinand is out of town all day.

Some business, he said, that would make a difference to our future.

I do not know what business he can have, in London or out of it.

Please, ma'am, an Inspector Staple, ma'am.

Mrs Lopez? Mrs Ferdinand Lopez?

Yes. This is my father, Mr Abel Wharton.

- How do you do, lnspector? - I am glad you're here, sir.

Mrs Lopez, earlier this morning,

a man was run over by an express train at the Ten Way Junction.

Although the man himself was afterwards unrecognisable,

certain documents in the pockets indicate that the body was that of your husband,

Mr Ferdinand Lopez

No.

Inspector-.

They are saying it, Duke, that it was I who hounded this poor man to his death.

Oh, Quintus Slide in The People's Banner, he began it, of course.

He says I pursued him in revenge

for this sum of money I was called upon to pay him.

We know this is nonsense.

Mr Lopez's death has wiped out all memory of his faults.

It's surprising how attractive people may appear once they're safely dead.

He says here, 'Mr Finn was used as a weapon to destroy the man,

His Grace too cowardly to act himself.

Mr Finn picked on Mr Lopez as a scapegoat and drove the wretched creature to insanity.'

Men will soon forget all that.

Well, I shall not soon forget it, Duke.

Planty, you must put all this out of your mind and get on with your proper work.

You have got enough to do without brooding over Mr Lopez.

It was no fault of yours.

My dear, I cannot but think of those poor shreds and tatters on that railway line.

Such sensitiveness as this is a disease.

He did not do it because of you,

nor me, nor Mr Finn, nor any of us.

He did it quite simply because he was financially ruined.

Her Grace is right, Duke.

As she says, men think more gently of him only because he is in his grave.

But, in truth, he was a common swindler

who had gone through the money which men had given him

and could find no more.

Duke, it was a dreadful thing to happen to a man who was a guest in my house,

and I fear it will soon become another burden to the Government,

and before very long.

Well, my dear, it seems your husband has paid the rent of this apartment,

but only for a few weeks more.

Now, of course, you must come back home.

Thank you, Papa.

If only...

Everything's gone, even his baby.

It is better that it is so.

- And nowwe must try to... - How can I forget it?

Perhaps none of us can do that,

but at least we can try.

He was a bad man, my darling.

No. It is as well that the truth be told.

But who is a good man?

If there be any truth in our religion, are we not all bad?

He was not a drunkard, never raised his hand to anybody,

and through it all, he was true to his wife.

Perhaps, but only time will cure the pain.

Time, and silence, Emily.

There will be affairs to be gone into, I think.

Only his debts, my dear.

Legally, we need pay nothing,

nor morally, in my view.

If people were foolish enough to be taken in by Lopez,

that must be their affair.

If you please, ma'am, it's Mr Sextus Parker, ma'am.

- I've seen you before. - Yes, ma'am, here.

Just the once. I was Ferdy's... Er...your husbands partner.

This would be your father, I suppose, Mr Abel Wharton?

- That is so, sir. - It was you I came to see, sir.

- They told me at your chambers you'd be here. - With my daughter.

We do not wish to be disturbed.

That's just it, sir. We none of us do. We just can't help ourselves.

I'm that disturbed just now. I shouldn't wonder if I went and did the same as poor Ferdy...

- Don't talk nonsense. - ..and took my wife and children with me.

Why have you come to me?

Well, sir, Lopez said you was going to settle what he owed me for our cargo of guano,

£6000.

Yes, there was some talk of it.

Emily, my dear, this can only be painful to you.

Perhaps you might prefer to leave us?

Now, then, Mr Parker, I was indeed going to pay my son-in-laws debt to you and to others,

but only on one condition, that he left the country without my daughter and stayed away for good.

Well, now he's done just that, in a manner of speaking.

While he was living, I was prepared to pay for him to go.

Now he is dead, I don't need to pay.

- Ferdy always said you was tight - I keep my bargains, Mr Parker.

I was prepared to pay money for Lopez if he went to Guatemala.

And now he's gone somewhere a sight hotter instead. What's the odds?

Look, look here, sir, the day before...before it happened,

Lopez came to me, and he said,

'Sexty, he said, 'I can't keep my word to old Abe about going to Guatemala. It's all off.

But now I'm going somewhere else instead, and that should make it all right with him.

He's a just man, Old Abe.'

That's what Lopez said to me, sir.

'He's a tight man, but he's a just man,

and he will keep the agreement in the spirit it was made.'

He said that? He said I was a just man?

He did, sir. More times than I could count.

£6,000, he owed you?

That's about it, sir.

He said I was a just man?

He should have said that before, instead of harping on my wealth.

Come to my chambers tomorrow, Mr Parker.

I will give you a check.