Original subtitles

- Well, then, Captain Colepepper. - Well, what, sir?

Your man Chiltern is the challenger. Does he still want this meeting to go on?

He does, sir, unless your man Finn will swear

to steer clear of Miss Violet Effingham from now on.

My man Finn won't swear to nothing, Captain Colepepper.

Why should he throw a thing over just because your man Chiltern can't have it?

Then let's bring them up and get it over.

When I drop my arm, turn back to back and walk ten paces.

One...two...three...

four...five...six..

Seven...eight...nine...ten.

Turn, please, gentlemen.

You may take aim.

Mr Fitzgibbon will drop his handkerchief when I give the word.

You may fire as soon as it touches the ground.

Fitzgibbon,

if you please, sir.

There, old fellow. How does it feel?

I feel as though my arm has been shot off.

My man Chiltern says

that if Mr Finn will now withdraw in respect of the young lady,

Lord Chiltern will be happy to take him by the hand.

What do you say, Phinny?

You know me better than that, my Lord.

There.

There you are.

Captain Colepepper.

You will instruct Mr Fitzgibbon to inform Mr Finn

that we are still enemies.

For God's sake get that ball out of his shoulder,

or he'll never be fit to fight me again.

Try not to bleed on the coat, old chap.

Suddenly he burst forth

as a member of parliament

and the friend of cabinet ministers

and, more particularly,

of their wives.

There is a strong smell

of the boudoir about Mr Finn.

Does this perhaps account

for his heady promotion?

Be this as it may,

we should now like to know

where he has been during his late mysterious absence from the House,

and in what way he came by the wound in his arm.

Oh, dear. Well, it's certainly true that his absence was noticed.

Yes, and now he's back with his arm in a sling. Well, Barrington, the less said the better.

Oh, dear. There's been enough said already, Lady Glen.

Well, one thing we must do is keep it from Mr Palliser.

If he finds out, Mr Finn will certainly walk the plank.

Have you seen this, Lady Glen, about our romantic friend Phineas Finn?

- We've seen. - Dolly, Dolly.

It's a pity it had to get into the newspapers.

People are so righteous about this sort of thing nowadays.

Well, the newspapers are only guessing.

For Finn's sake and for the party's sake, let's hope they don'! find any proof.

This was not clever of Finn.

Quite apart from anything else, we might have needed him to vote.

It's not only the newspapers that will be asking awkward questions now he's back.

I wonder what story Mr Finn himself is going to be putting out.

I think we're about to find out.

The honorable Laurence Fitzgibbon.

Mr Phineas Finn.

Mr Finn and Mr Filzgibbon.

Where have you both been these last few days, hm?

Down in Kent, Lady Glen, for the shooting.

And was the shooting good down in Kent?

Nothing very special, Lady Glen, but...

the rough shooting was quite exciting.

Particularly near the beach.

Seabirds, Laurence?

Birds of passage. Dollie.

Barrington was most upset with you.

He said your votes might have been needed.

I am sorry, old fellow.

We would have been back before only poor Phinny,

he put his soulder out and had to lie up.

In a farm.

Yes, in a farmhouse.

The farmer's wife had two devilish pretty daughters.

They kept feeding Phinny hot milk.

No sooner had one left the room with an empty glass, the other came in with a full one.

Then the farmer's wife would come in with a third lot

Poor old Phinny was so full of hot milk, I thought he was going to bust all over the place.

Longslaffe, Erie, Fitzgibbon, Finn.

Oh, Planty, come and join us.

- What's this I see? - The result of sheer tornfoolery, that's what.

I beg your pardon?

Barrington is referring to Mr Finn's sporting activities.

They are grown altogether too perilous

Mr Finn has hurt his arm in Kent while shooting with Mr Fitzgibbon.

An accident? What did you do, wound yourself with your own gun?

I'm not that perilous, Mr Palliser.

Phinny fell while climbing over a stile. Wasn't that it, Laurence?

Er, no, not quite, Dolly. No, it was a gate.

He was climbing over a gate and a bull charged him from the other side.

An Aberdeen Angus or a Chiltern Red?

Well, what does it matter what sort of bull it was?

Poor Mr Finn, at least you're back safe from Kent.

Yes, we're going to need your help, Finn.

I always think bills are safer than bulls

Mr Finn, how good to see you afler all this time.

Welcome back to London, Lady Laura. I hope this means Lord Brentford is now better.

He was stronger when I left him, but what have you done to your arm?

Slight accident in Kent.

Oh.

Lady Laura, some time ago you asked me to... stay away from you,

but may I take it from your letter that I may now come to you as often as I wish?

What difference can it make?

I am miserable when you're away from me because you are so much to me

and I am miserable when you're with me because you can be nothing to me.

Do you know, Mr Kennedy didn't even want me to come to London?

- And yet you are here. - At the moment he's in no position to dictate to me.

My father has just paid him my dowry.

- Chiltern's doing? - Yes.

He agreed to waive some of his fights as heir and to let my father sell certain properties.

And so at great sacrifice,

the money has been raised.

Then let us hope that Mr Kennedy will be grateful.

- What are the prospects for the new reform bill? - Laura.

I want your help.

Well, what is it?

I love Violet Effingham.

Will you help me to win her for my wife?

Have you not always known what our hopes have been for Violet?

I have also known from Lord Chiltern's own lips that Violet has refused him.

Violet has known Oswald since they were both children.

- She loved him then. - Chiltern has changed.

It is my belief, my certainty, that despite everything

she loves him still, if she'd only admit it.

She has had plenty of opportunity to di it.

Whatever you say, Laura, she has refused him often and firmly.

Then he must go on asking. He shall go on asking.

As for you, Mr Finn, that you should come to me for assistance with Violet...

Then you will not help me?

How should I help you?

I merely wanted an opportunity of meeting Violet here

and that you should tell her beforehand that we have your blessing.

Violet is staying at Lady Baldock's. Go there and do your own telling.

Lady Baldock would never accept me as a suitor for her niece.

It's for her niece to accept you,

not for Lady Baldock or for me.

Tell me, Mr Finn, why do you involve me?

I came to you as I would come to a sister.

I already have a brother.

He needs Violet and what she'll bring him more than ever before.

- My right is as good as his. - Right?

The right of a fair field and no favour.

Yet you come to me for favour because you can't win her yourself.

Of course you realise that I must now tell my brother all you've told me.

I have already told him myself.

How did he take it?

Lord Chiltern required that I should either give up my suit for Violet

Of...

- Or fight him. - Yes.

In Belgium.

So this was your accident in Kent?

I did go into Kent to get the boat for Belgium.

The petty futile lies men use.

Suppose you'd killed him, would it still have been an accident in Kent?

It would have been a misfortune so horrible that I was bound to prevent it.

So Oswald...was never in danger?

- Does he know this? - I think not

But at least you parted as friends?

We did not part as friends.

I stood my ground and I refused to give up Miss Effingham.

But, Laura, I would not prevent him as he would prevent me.

If he needs Violet as much as you say he does, let him come and try.

But if he doesn't come or if he fails, then will you not speak to Violet for me?

I will speak to Violet.

For Oswald.

For Gods sake, Phineas, go. I'm hardly well.

Laura! Please go!

Laura?

What is wrong?

Very much is wrong but you can't help me.

Which means that you have secrets in which I may not share?

All women have secrets which they share only with God.

But you're so close to God, Robert.

If you want to know my secret, go to him and ask.

Lady Baldock, Violet, I'm so glad that you could come.

It is nice to see aunt and niece sticking together.

But you mustn't devote all your evening to Lady Baldock, Violet.

Nor will she, Lady Glencora,

but don't encourage her to desert me.

She'll forget her manners soon enough without that.

- I only meant that you see each other at home. - Not all that much.

She sulks in her room half the time, reading French novels, I wonder.

I don't know what girls are coming to.

Much the same as you came to, Aunt.

Marriage and then old age, I suppose.

I don't need you to tell me that I'm old, miss.

And as for marriage, well...

in my day we never mentioned it in public.

But you thought about it, Lady Baldock?

No more than I could help.

I just put up with it when it came. It's about all you can do with marriage.

You don't paint a very romantic picture, Aunt.

Nor would you if you'd been married to your uncle.

You'll find out all about it for yourself.

You're not against marriage, are you, Lady Baldock?

One can't be against it because everybody does it.

Violet will have to it like the rest.

It'll be bad, of course,

especially as the men can smell her money.

But I'm going to see to it that she don't do any worse than she has to.

You never can tell, Aunt. I might just do a little better.

They tell me, Mr Finn,

that you and Mr Fitzgibbon have been away on a sporting holiday together.

Yes, that's right. In Kent.

Lady Glencora thinks, and so do I,

that you give too much time to such activities.

I'm sure Mr Longstaffe will agree.

Up to a certain point, Madame Max.

We did all have a good laugh, you know.

But more than laughs could come of it, might still come of it.

Mr Finn is not here entirely to amuse you, Mr Longstaffe.

He cannot afford to be idle and frivolous as you are.

Oh, I have my uses, Madame Max

And so you do, Mr Longslaffe.

Tell me, who is that gentleman over there with Lady Laura Kennedy?

Oh, that's Lord Fawn.

He lives in Richmond vlith his vidowed mother and 11 sisters

and ls a loyal supporter of the Liberal party.

- Any particular talents? - None other than those you can see.

He don't hide any lights under his bushel.

They say that Mother Baldock wants him for Vi Effingham.

There's no doubt about it, Lady Laura,

in our new Reform Bill we're making great concessions to the people,

to the populous, you know.

But you're not giving them the ballot? And rightly not, in my opinion.

Don't forget we'll have to deal with Mr Turnbull.

- Mr Tumbull... - We're giving all we possibly can.

Lady Laura.

We're getting rid of rotten boroughs by the dozen.

Y, I fear my faihefs borough of Bremford will go.

And with 'rt Mr Phineas Finn.

You don'! like Mr Finn, Lord Fawn?

There are some very odd stories about him

and he keeps such curious company.

Like my own.

Oh.

That's all right, of course.

But who is that very foreign sort of woman he is talking to just now?

That's Madame Max Goesler.

She is a weatthy adventures with an especial talent

for preying on the weaknesses of your sex.

And Lady Glencora has invited her to come here, under her own roof?

Madame Goesler is to be found under every roof.

Like a type of parasitic beetle,

she arrives in the woodwork without one's knowing it

and then cannot be dislodged.

Ah, the intrepid Mr Finn. And hows your shoulder?

Very much better, thanks. Should have the sling off in a day or two.

Good. We're going to need your strong arm,

if only figuratively in committee.

Great things are stirring, so I hear.

What would I not give to be a member of parliament at such a time as this?

Which side would you take, Madame Goesler?

Oh, I should want to vote for everything that could be voted for.

Ballot, manhood suffrage, womanhood suffrage,

the right to strike, the education of every child in the land.

- That's rather a strong programme. - Not if you believe in equality, like all of us.

You can count me out, dear lady.

I'm sure I can still count on Mr Finn.

And Lady Glen? You remember what you said at Loughlinter once?

Oh, yes, and I meant it. But that was theory, Madame Goesler.

Life is very different.

Perhaps 'rt wouldn't be so very different

if only people were prepared to fight for their theories.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Perhaps we should go to Lady Baldock.

That's my second dose of her this evening.

You will fight for your theories, Mr Finn?

In the past you've always told me not to have any.

That was my advice to the tyro

but you are experienced enough now to be your own man,

to take up your own causes.

What will they be, Mr Finn?

You have heard, I think, of Irish Tenant Right.

Yes, a just cause, Mr Finn.

But one that your party is not too keen about.

As Madame Max has just pointed out, Dolly,

I'm my own man now.

Tell me, what is this air of mystery about Mr Finn?

There's no mystery, Lord Fawn. lt was a mere accident in Kent.

Lady Laura.

You seem to have been changing your arm again rather disastrously.

Mr Finn.

- Ah, Miss Effingham. - Lord Fawn.

And how are your several sisters?

Oh, how kind of you to ask. Well...

I think I'll go and try to be St George for a while.

Yes, well, Clara, you know, has married Mr Hithaway.

No doubt we shall soon be having another little Hithaway on the way.

- And Augusta? - Augusta? Well...

No smile for Phineas Finn?

Not today. He prefers to be smiled on by Violet Effingham.

In fact he seems to have joined Lady Baldock.

He knows how the land lies. Violet is staying with Lady Baldock.

Mr Finn is giving a sop to Cerberus.

How the time passes, Lady Baldock.

Very soon 'rt will be spring.

At my age, Mr Palliser, the seasons make little difference.

Ah, but all seasons, Lady Baldwk,

are kind to evergreens.

Oh.

You... You must not desert us this year, Mr...

- Finn. - Mr Finn.

My evenings are Tuesday.

I shall certainly not forget that.

Tuesday.

Tuesday.

And finally, of course, there's dear little Mina.

Oh, she's such a sweet child. I say child...

Please excuse me. Lady Baldock, has Plantagenet been amusing you?

No, but Mr Finn has.

Very personable young man, Mr Finn.

Yes. Of course, we don't know much about him

but personable I agree.

Too personable, some say, to be allogether good.

They also say he sees quite a lot of your niece Violet

Do they?

- Do they indeed? - So they say, Lady Baldock.

What's all this about Kent, Mr Finn?

Lord Fawn is dying to know.

It was just a foolish accident, Miss Effingham.

If you will go in for such dangerous sports.

A man must vary his pastimes. All work and no play, you know.

There's no time for play in our days. Life is far too serious.

- You're entitled to your opinion. - Some of us have work to do.

I think, Lord Fawn, Mr Finn works as hard as most men.

A word with you, if l may, about our supporters in the Upper House.

I very much fear, Mr Finn, that Lord Fawn don't like the cut of your jib.

Nor I the look of his.

I must say, he was being very oppressive.

Thank goodness my aunt's other candidate for my hand isn't here as well.

Mr Appledom. Do you know him?

No, I haven't had that honor.

But, Miss Effingham, one of the other candidates is here.

I don't think, Mr Finn, that my aunt would pass you as a candidate.

Your aunt has invited me to her house, Miss Effingham.

- On Tuesdays? - On Tuesdays.

Well, on Tuesdays there is always a crush.

Candidates are invited on other days of the week.

Mr Phineas Finn.

Mr Palliser.

- I'm sorry if I'm a little late. - Not in the least, Finn.

Lord Brentford. I hope you are feeling better, my Lord.

I have little enough to make me so but never mind that new.

Palliser.

Finn, we have news for you.

Mr Mottram, Under-Secretary for the Colonies, has become a peer on his father's death.

We feel the post should be held by a Commons man.

- A Commons man, Mr Palliser? - You, Finn.

Oh, I am very grateful to you both.

You have it on your own merit and by the Prime Minister's wish.

The post's pay is 2,000 a year, but...

over and above the performance of your duties, there are certain obligations.

Obligations to the party, Mr Finn.

Yes, yes, of course.

Now that you join the Government, Finn, you must support the Government.

In all matters whatsoever.

Why should I not?

Why not indeed?

If you'll excuse me, I have a conference.

Would you be kind enough to see yourselves out?

Tell me, Finn, have you seen anything of Chiltern lately?

I believe he is in Brussels, my Lord.

In Brussels? His place is here.

To be fair, he has been very helpful about arranging Lady Laura's money.

Now that Kennedy has the money, what good is it to him?

Money or no money, I know Laura's still unhappy with him.

Kennedy will never be the easiest of husbands, my Lord.

Well, why couldn't she have found that out before it was too late?

If only Chiltern would marry Violet

I'd forgive him everything.

It's all vexation of spirit.

I'm going to miss you something fierce, Mr Phineas.

Of course, we'll let the room all right.

Nice young man from the city came in about it this morning.

I'm very glad to hear that, Mrs Bunoe.

But it just won't be the same when you're gone.

Well, it won't be the same for me, either.

I shall miss being here, really I will, but...

new that I'm an under-secretary, it is expected of me that I live somewhere...

nearer Westminster Palace.

Somewhere grand is what you mean, Mr Phineas,

but thanks for trying to spare my feelings.

I understand it, of course.

But Bunce...

he don't.

He thinks you could very well stay here.

Bunce says it's always the same when a man gets a place in the Government.

He don't want to know his old friends, gets all high and mighty.

A man would be very foolish to do that, Mrs Bunce.

Places in the Government, though, are very hard to come by and very easily lost.

Well, Bunce says a man gets a taste for it,

and once he's had a place he'll go down on his belly and crawl to keep it,

or get a better.

He's worried for you, Mr Phineas.

He's very fond of you, you know, but...

well, he thinks that you'll be bought off,

bought off from doing what's right.

Well, there are many dangers in taking office but once a man is offered it, he has to take it.

At least I do. I can't live forever, you know, on a small allowance from my father.

Robert.

Have you heard about Mr Finn?

He's to be Under-Secretary for the Colonies.

Yes, I heard.

It's a great step for him to have gained so eafly, isn't it?

I've no doubt he will succeed,

if he will look to himself.

It's astonishing how that story of the duel with Chiltern has got about.

People believe anything for the sake of a little excitement.

Yet there must have been some quarrel.

They say 'rt was about Miss Effingham.

I should hardly think Finn would have any hopes there.

Why?

I thought you had other plans for Miss Effingham.

That has nothing to do with it.

You spoke of Mr Finn as if he were unworthy of Violet.

Not so, Robert. Mr Finn is not only a gentleman, Mr Finn has all...

You will make me sick of the name of Mr Finn.

I am sorry I offend you by my gratitude to the man who saved your life.

Gratitude?

It is always the same for women with nothing to do

who cannot be made to understand duties.

They cannot live without some kind of idolatry.

Mr Phineas Finn.

Mr Kennedy.

Mr Finn, I'm so very glad for you.

That's more than Mr Kennedy seems to be.

He's just passed me without a word.

He's preoccupied.

Oh, Phineas, I'm so happy about your success.

- Then you've forgiven me? - Forgiven you?

The last time we were in this room together we did not part as friends.

I have had time to think since then.

Phineas, you know what my hopes have been for my brother and Violet.

Yes-

Rather than deny you, or rather than have you hate me for denying you,

I'll do what you wish,

because it's you that wishes it.

I will speak to Violet and arrange thai you may see her by herself.

- Laura... - But a word of warning.

If you win Violet, you'll lose my father.

I shall do that anyway, I think, as soon as he hears about the duel.

He's the only man in London who hasn't heard.

No, I think you might make that all right with him.

After all, Oswald was the challenger and it was you that was wounded.

But if you take Violet from us, he'll not forgive you.

As to that, I must take my chance.

Very well.

Be in the park tomorrow afternoon about three, near where the band plays.

I'll bring her to you them.

Phineas Finn this, Phineas Finn that

You're beginning to sound like his ambassador.

I'm no ambassador. He's given me no commission.

Then why are you pleading for him?

Because I know, I sense what he wants, Violet.

You. And what he wants, I wish him to have, all of it.

He is my shining knight.

Then why are you so eager to pass him onto me?

Can you give me any reason for not taking him...if once you love him?

- Ah, but do I love him? - Look at him.

Tell me you don't love him if you dare.

Go to him and tell him what he's waiting to hear.

Oh, Laura!

But Laura, wait!

Miss Effingham!

What a delightful surprise.

How nice to find you, and to find you alone.

Yes, alone. A poor unprotected female.

- You've nothing to fear from me. - No, I know that.

Then you will trust me, Violet

Yes, I will trust you.

And you will love me too?

I trust you, Mr Finn,

because I know you to be the kindest man on earth.

And I might have loved you, only that you do not love me.

I not love you?

But how can you?

You have just caught me in a trap.

A very gentle trap, a net with a web of silk,

but nonetheless a trap.

Have true lovers never used traps before?

Oh, yes, and love has been their bait.

But you have used a decoy, Mr Finn.

You knew Laura would bring me here today.

You have made her your go-between.

Have true lovers never used go-betweens before?

Well, they should not use their old mistresses, Mr Finn.

I do not know what has been between you and Laura,

but l do know that you once professed to love her.

and that she, a married woman, still loves you.

That you should make such a one your messenger is... is obscene.

I longed so much for a chance to tell my love.

Have you none to offer me in return?

Any that I might have had has been wiped out.

When I think of you and Laura,

old lovers, perhaps lovers still,

putting your heads together to seduce me...

Yes, that was a little strong. We must not part on that.

So let me simply wish you better luck with whomever you try your hand on next.

Now, Mary, we'd better be getting back. I've got to see Mr Monk.

Bother Mr Monk.

Mary, I'm not in Ireland just for my pleasure alone, you know.

Mr Monk and I have business to do.

- Bother your business. - Now, Mary, it's very important.

Can you not think of me for more than two seconds altogether?

Now, two seconds.

Make no mistake, Phineas,

what we are planning to do will not be acceptable to the Government at this time.

But surely if we don't ask for too much at first.

Any measure devised to help the Irish tenants, however moderate,

will not be welcome to this Government.

It will raise awkward questions about the position of English tenants.

Yes, and we have a responsibility not to embarass the Government, I suppose.

And a prior duty to help those who need help far more than any government does.

You once told me that to succeed in political action,

one should temper one's proposals to the climate of opinion.

The climate of opinion will be with us once the true facts are known.

That's what we must first do.

And thus disacommodate the Government,

a Government in which we both serve.

Yes, it'll mean a row.

Not just an argument, but a very nasty row.

Are you afraid of the prospect?

No. No, I think not

- And yet... - Go on.

We both know, it's common talk in the House

that the Government will take up this question sooner or later.

Later unless we keep at them.

But is it worth having a row and disrupting the party

simply to make the matter a mere year or two earlier.

To some of these people, a year or two means the difference between life and death.

Go out, Phineas.

Go out into the villages and look around you.

You'll see.

Devilish good idea these new dining coach.

It means a fellow don't have to choke it down in 20 minutes flat on some pokey railway station.

Ah, um...

soup,

fish.

Roast,

wing of devilled chicken,

apple tan,

apple tan,

savoury.

I'll have a look at the Stilton and a full dessert.

And a half bottle of Montrachet '57,

a bottle of Haul Blion '58,

and a decanter of Taylors '37 with the dessert.

What about you, Phinny?

Oh, just soup and fish, thank you.

Well, your visit to old Ireland ain't done your appetite much good.

What have you been up to, Phinny?

Oh, nothing much. What have you been up to, Laurence?

Trying to screw a few hundred out of the governor, but no go.

So, there's an honest answer to your question. Now...

What about an honest answer to my question? What have you been up to in Ireland?

I told you, nothing much.

'Nothing much' means skulking round four of the five baronies in the county with Mr Monk.

You were spotted from the start, as blatant as two nuns in a bordel.

And why should I not entertain Mr Monk?

Because down our way Mr Monk means trouble.

What was he doing in Ireland at all, at all?

Well, what?

He is interested in the condition of small farmers and tenant holders

and their relations with the landlords.

Meaning he wants to stir up trouble.

You too, Phineas.

The party will be going into all this.

Oh, no, not for some while yet the party wont, and the longer the better.

My family, and families like it, have been running their lands and their tenants...

for some 200 years.

We don't need the party to start interfering

and still less do we need you and Mr Monk.

Now, answer me plain. Are you going to help him stir up bother?

I certainly think that something could and should be done about the condition of smallholders.

Like what?

Like allowing them to have the benefit of improvements they make to their holdings.

What would you know about it?

I don't think that your family has had much experience of tenants.

I don't think that...

Dr Finn is in that line of country at all.

What would you know about tenants' holdings?

It's a matter of common sense.

If a tenant makes improvements, he should not be cheated of them by some greedy landlord.

- Oh, and who says we cheat them? - Tenants all over Ireland.

When did ever you hear an Irishman tell the truth?

I've certainly known you to be less than frank on certain occasions, Laurence,

but that doesn't mean that all our countrymen are liars.

Oh.

Well, now, you listen here, Phinny.

You never heard of an Irishman yet who wouldn't tell lies if he stood to profit by it.

To be sure, I've done my share of fibbing, but well...take yourself as well.

Your whole life is a fib, Phinny boy.

You, the son of the local apothecary,

that's now swaggering around in London as if he was descended from the Kings of Kerry.

That little Catholic boy from Killaloe

that learned your letters off fat Father O'Cochrin,

and are now squiring the ladies of the Abbey and St Paul's of a Sunday

and sitting there...

Yes-

...sitting there as smug and as pink as any Protestant of them all.

You, that was sweetheart to Mary Flood ever since you was put in breeches,

are now sniffing every woman in Mayfair who's got a few pounds in her purse.

And now, on top of all of this,

you, whose father's estate is barely big enough to accommodate an outside privy,

you are now laying down the law on the duties of landlords and the rights of tenants.

I merely wish to see justice done.

Oh, yes? Well, why don't you start in your own back yard

by keeping your hot hands off little Mary Flood, unless you mean to marry her,

and your hot eyes off Madame Goesler's gold,

unless you intend to give her proper value in return for it.

Goodbye, Laurence.

Bye-bye, Phinny-

Hm. Now, this is the final list, is it?

- Yes, and it will produce a few long faces. - Hm.

- Mr Phineas Finn. - Ah. Ah, welcome to Matching, Finn.

It's good to be back, Mr Palliser.

- Hello, Barlingion. - Finn.

Didn't see you at the station.

I promised Planty I'd come ahead to discuss one or two points.

Yes, there's something I feel we should tell you at once.

I'm sorry to spoil your arrival.

It's been finally agreed which boroughs will go at the new Reform Bill.

Bremford will certainly be one.

You may sit through until the general election.

And then no more Brentford, hm?

When is the election to be?

It's sooner than we wished.

This new Reform Bill, it's going to be attacked.

Violently, both by Turnbull and the Tories.

Oh, we shall get it through,

but it's going to cause a lot of dissatisfaction and seriously weaken our hold.

And so, soon afterwards, we shall dissolve.

And so, bye-bye to my colonies, hm?

Oh, well, they may still be yours if we get back.

- And also bye-bye to my seat, Barrington. - Oh, there's seats enough to be filled, Finn.

Hands enough to be filled with golden sovereigns too.

It gives you quite a long time to look around.

It's my belief you won't have to look very far.

Your luck has held very well up to now.

Er, a word with you gentlemen, if l may.

My wife, she's once more in a somewhat delicate condition.

Hm? Oh.

- Congratulations, Planty. - And mine.

Thank you, my friends, but I would be most grateful if you could see to it

she doesn't overtax herself too seriously while she's in your company.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I haven't spoken to her since my arrival.

Sorry about Brentford.

Monk.

Ah, welcome, Mr Finn.

Oh, my dear, you do look down.

Well, let's see that Irish smile, hm?

That's better. Well, I promise you we shall not be dull.

An old friend of yours is coming, at least he was a friend

and we all hope that he may be again.

Lord Chiltern? I shall be delighted to see him.

But will he want to see me?

I've asked him here expressly to make it up with you and I'm relying on you to manage him.

Well, I shall be loo busy managing the Duke of Omnium.

The Duke of Omnium is coming?

He's unexpectedly honouring our humble house

since some wickedness that he planned in Italy has fallen through.

Yes, well, I must go to the chef who is reported not to be sober.

And how are all your colonies, Mr Finn?

Oh, they look very pretty on the map. At least, they did when I left Downing Street.

Let us hope they don't take advantage of your absence to rebel.

You will have enough to attend to up here with the red Lord Chiltern

and the mighty Duke of Omnium.

Is he mighty enough, I wonder, to have a spare borough in his pocket?

I shall need a borough by and by.

The Duke's only borough is Silverblidge.

Which is firmly held by Mr John Grey.

But surely, my friend, you will be able to find yoursetf another seat should you need one?

Oh, very likely.

I just wish I had no bothers beyond that

What else is wrong?

Has Miss Effingham been unkind?

No, I was still talking politics, Madame Max.

Ireland. Irish Tenant Right.

Ah, yes, yes, I have heard you mention it before.

If I am correct, the problem is very much the same as that in Hungary,

of which I heard a great deal when I was in Vienna last.

The tenant, often a poor peasant with only a tiny holding,

has to pay as much rent in a bad year as in the best.

Far too much in any year but ruinous in a bad year.

But the problem doesn't end there in Ireland.

If an Irish tenant, despite all his difficuities, manages to make improvements to his farm,

the landlord then increases his rent to correspond with those improvements.

Even though these have been done at the tenant's own expense?

Exactly. And it's this abuse that Mr Monk and I have singled out as a starting point for reform.

I mean, it's robbery, Madame Max, often of semi-starving people by absentee landlords

who then spend the proceeds in London, on balls and banquets, if you please.

Of which you and I, Mr Finn, have been only too happy to eat our share.

Yes, but I hope now under Mr Monk's leadership to make amends.

So, you two alone are going to challenge the whole Government?

Mr Monk holds high office.

He will resign it if it is necessary.

They're trying to get him to take a sofler line.

Trying this very moment, I daresay, but I know the man, Madame Max.

He's determined to march on this issue.

He's not even Irish.

The least I can do is march with him.

I fear he will march you straight out of Downing Street, Mr Finn.

Very likely, Madame Max

Very likely.

Odd same. croquet.

- They say 'rt stirs the passions. - Oh, surely not, Duke.

Oh, y.

I knew a lady onoe who neany brained her opponent with a mallet.

Do you never play croquet, Marie?

I'd like to see you wielding a mallet.

Oh, I am so sorry your Grace cannot be gratified.

I have played the game in the past

but now I've grown tired of it.

But I can show your Grace a sight worth ten of me and a mallet. Look.

I knew how IL would be, Mr Finn.

There's the Duke, making merry with the widow.

Oh, I am very fond of Madame Max but...

had I known the Duke was coming, she would not have been asked.

A little distraction, I think.

Run along, darling, and say hello to your great uncle Omnium and the beautiful lady.

Off you go.

- Er, Mr Finn? - Hm.

Er...

Phineas, may I speak plainly?

You usually do, Lady Glen.

Very well. Hm?

Madame Max likes you, you like Madame Max,

you need money and Madame Max has enough for two.

I'll confess I'm fond of Madame Max, Lady Glen, but beyond that...

Oh, Mr Finn, make an effort.

One cannot always command one's heart.

Don'! I know it.

But I also know that Violet has said no to you.

So, don'! go on pining. Life goes on.

A very pretty sight, as long as it's my son walking between them.

Oh, y, Mr Finn, you and Madame Max would make each other,

and your friends, very happy.

Predictions of happiness, Lady Glen,

are notoriously fallible.

Excuse me, Lady Glen.

Hey-ho.

Well, old fellow, how long 'rt seems since last we met.

Y, IL has been a long time.

I've missed you, Phineas. An under-secretary now, they tell me.

I'm glad that our little affair had no adverse effects on the politicians.

Tell me, does my father know about it?

No.

Well, he's bound to find out in time.

But Laura says he'll forgive you

ifthings go right for me.

How do we stand about that?

Violet has refused me...

as far as I'm oonoemed, she's yours.

If I can get her.

You've seen Laura? How is she?

Not seen her, heard from her.

She was invited down here, you know, of course, with Kennedy,

but he refused and hauled her off to Loughlinter.

There'll be no party there this winter, I think.

No.

How Laura will bear the winter in Loughlinter

I do not know.

Maybe Violet will go to her.

Phineas, it is not Violet,

it is no woman that Laura needs.

Laura?

You will come back to the house with me?

My wife.

Mr Finn.

I wonder if I may say something to you.

You may say anything to me.

There are some things that are not very easy to say here in England.

The English have so many taboos.

Ah, but I am Irish.

Precisely.

And you are about to take up the cause of your countrymen,

which could cost you your office.

Mr Finn...

Chance has given me great wealth.

If ever you should need any of it,

you have only to ask me.

I want nothing in return.

The offer from you...

is as generous...

as its acceptance by me would be vile.

I think he wants you to leave us.

Madam.

You must leave here tomorrow

and the summer is nearly done.

- You'll be going abroad soon, I think. - Yes, Duke, to Vienna.

Ah.

Do not mind Vienna this year, come to Italy.

But I have business in Austria, Duke.

And you have underlings to conduct it.

Marie, you know I have a villa by Lake Como.

The lakes are very beautiful in the autumn.

It would give me so much pleasure to show them to you.

But I know them well, Duke.

When I was young, I was on Lake Maggiore almost alone.

One day I will tell you a history ofwhat I was in those days.

Ah-ha.

You can tell it to me there.

But I have no house there, Duke.

Oh, you would stay in my house, Marie.

No, Duke.

It beholds me to stay in my own house.

Only women of whom much more or much less is known can afford to be your guests.

I should have no other guests but you, Marie.

No, Duke, it cannot be.

- Why not? - Why not?

Because the world would say that the Duke of Omnium has a new mistress

and her name is Marie Goesler.

I know of a man who will be very lonely in his villa by Lake Como this autumn.

And I know of a lady who will be very lonely in Vienna this autumn.

Well, may the lonely man at Como write to the lonely lady in Vienna?

If he will.

And what shall he write to her?

That is as his Grace shall please.

But I think he already knows it will be of no use to send for her

for his light entertainment.

A very good evening to you, my Lord Duke.