All language subtitles for Partners.in.Crime.1983.S01E11.The.Crackler.1080p.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

[Upbeat 1920's style intro music]

[Intro music continues]

There.

What on earth do we need more bookshelves for?

Collection of detective classics, of course.

We've got our Sherlock Holmes, Rex stout,

ellery queens, bulldog drummond.

[Tuppence] So, who's next?

Edgar Wallace.

Need yards and yards for him.

Well, we haven't even had an

Edgar Wallace case yet.

[Door creaks open]

Just looked out the window and seen something

beginning with m.

- Motor cycle? - No.

- Monkey? - No.

- Mussolini? - Don't be daft.

- Getting warm? - Nope.

[Marriot] Anybody home?

- [All together] Marriot! - Right.

Well, good morning mr and Mrs. Berresford.

Morning.

Hope I'm not interrupting anything.

No, we were just discussing bookshelves.

Ah yes, very interesting.

May I ask in what context?

For our Edgar Wallace books.

I've heard tell, that he writes

two books at a time, holding a pen in each hand.

As well as dictating a third to a secretary.

Really?

Ah, well as tuppence points out, we haven't had

an Edgar Wallace case yet.

Well, now there's a coincidence for you.

- Where? - Because I've come to ask the

brilliant beresfords for their help

in a very sort of, Edgar Wallace case.

[The beresfords laugh]

Wait til I put on my brilliant expression.

Well, there's no need to get swelled-headed about

it just because you've solved a couple of cases

- with amazing look. - Amazing skill!

Amazing luck.

In my experience, once is as useful

as the other.

You should have been a diplomat, inspector.

That's part of the job too.

Now, what would you two say to helping me

round up a big gang?

Is there such a thing?

What do you mean, is there such a thing?

Well, I always thought gangs were a figment of

the writer's imagination.

Like super-crooks and master criminals.

Well, true, master-crooks and super-criminals

aren't that thick on the ground,

but there's any amount of gangs hanging about.

Well, inspector,

are you telling me that you can't catch them?

Well, it's like this, sir.

- Albert? - [Door creaks open]

Albert?

[Door creaks open]

We, at the yard, believe this gang is a bit

la-di-da.

Oh, blue blooded?

Nobs?

Upper-class?

That sort of thing.

Now, it's a well known fact that my chaps at

the yard are fearless and strong as oxen

-and make first-class husbands -but,

they find it a bit difficult to mix believably

with the ock-mond,

so to speak.

With the,

yes,

you might put it like that, sir.

Might flat-footed.

Yes, that's the other Mark, miss.

[Tommy] What crime is

this gang mixed up in?

Forgery.

Banknotes, hundreds of then floating about.

Without being spotted?

Exactly.

A most artistic bit of work, it is too.

You don't happen to have one on you, do you?

Well, as a matter-of-fact, just by chance.

I did happen to bring one along.

Ah, do you have magnifying glass?

Do we have a magnifying glass?

What sort of detective agency

- do you think this is? - [Drawer slides open]

- [Papers rustle] - Albert?

- Magnifying glass. - Magnifying glass?

[Albert makes whistling sound]

- Behave yourself, Albert. - Sorry, sir.

That young man.

Well, he's useless most of the time

and then suddenly he's completely expendable.

By jove!

It looks perfectly all right, to me.

- Let's have a look. - [Distant church bells ring]

Hm, could have fooled me.

That's exactly what it's doing all over London.

But, after all the trouble the gang take over

the over-laying of the watermark,

they go and make a very silly mistake.

Where?

Look at the forgery first.

How does that line of writing read?

The bank of england,

promise to pay the bearer,

on demand,

the sum of one pound.

And the genuine note?

Bank of england, promise to pay the bearer,

on demand, the sum.

It's the same.

Try again, sir.

Look, carefully.

Bank of england, pro,

oh gosh, yes I see.

[Tuppence] What? What?

I promise to pay the bearer.

Oh, let me have a look.

I promise to pay the bearer.

Oh, yes of course.

Et cetera, et cetera, signed by the

secretary of the treasury.

[Marriot] Right.

But that "i" and "the promise" are so close

that it could easily be missed.

Exactly.

And who's going to read a bank note?

Well, I hope you are, Mrs. Beresford.

So, where do we fit in, inspector?

- Oh, I'm sorry. - Oh, oh.

[Bank notes rustle]

Yes, well I,

no, I think that's my note, sir.

Oh, sorry.

What, exactly, do you want us to do?

Well, keep an eye out for these things?

Oh no, a lot more than that, my dear.

You see, all the yard has found out so far

is that these dud notes,

are being circulated by the west end.

- But, you don't know who by? - By, whom.

Neither.

But, I'm sure it's someone pretty high up in the

social scale.

Oh, I see.

So you want us to infiltrate.

Night clubs, gambling, dancing the night away.

Examining bank notes and getting

hit over the head.

No, no, the danger will be minimal.

- Society folk are not violent. - [Tuppence] No.

Really?

Well, what about, Mrs. Barney

and madame farney?

-Well, two rotten apples -don't spoil the harvest.

No.

Nor make a summer.

Quite so, madame.

-And, then there's the -other side of this business.

The other side?

Well, the other side of the channel.

Some of these notes are being passed in

France and Germany, Belgium and Holland too.

Well, isn't there anyone that you suspect?

-Well, this is where we -have to tread carefully.

As you can well understand.

But, between ourselves, there is one person

who's interesting us a good deal.

A major laidlaw,

ever heard of him?

Something to do with racing, isn't he?

[Marriot] Right.

- Runs a stud farm? - [Marriot] Right again.

My cousin, fruity faulkner, knows him.

Fruity faul..?

Would that be, captain James faulkner?

[Tommy] That's the one.

Mind you, we've nothing against laidlaw

at the yard, but there's a suspicion that

he's been involved in a couple of rather,

shady transactions.

Rigged races?

Stewards inquiries, that sort of thing?

Exactly.

And then, there's, his wife.

[Tuppence] What about her?

She's French.

Oh, other side of the channel.

She has a train of admirers.

She's very fond of the tables.

Gambling.

The laidlaw's certainly spend a lot of money,

and I'd like to know where it comes from.

You know, I think I met her once,

with fruity.

Yes,

Marguerite.

Ah, before we were engaged.

Yes, very beautiful, very French.

Well, I never met her.

Well, here's your opportunity, Mrs. Beresford.

Do you know the python club,

in upper-brook street?

- No I don't think I. - Yes, I do.

That's where I met Marguerite laidlaw.

Mind you, I'm sure it's a coincidence,

but a lot of these dud notes have been circulated

at the python club.

Now, I've heard that place is not all it seems.

Oh?

Hmm, they run a small casino, in the back room

for members who feel like a flutter.

That would be illegal.

Precisely.

- I'm sure it's only a rumour. - [Tuppence mumbles]

The place run impeccably.

They have a very high-class clientele.

And that's where the laidlaws's spend most

of their evenings.

[Tommy] Ah.

So where do we come in?

Get fruity faulk,

captain James faulkner,

to put you both up for membership of the club.

There's no danger of the laidlaw's,

or whoever the forgers are,

- spotting you as detectives. - Right, you're on.

We've got to know where the stuff comes from.

You mean, major laidlaw goes out of a morning

with an empty suitcase and comes back of

an evening with it crammed to the gills full of

forged bank notes?

Now having trailed him, hither and yon,

I catch him in the act.

I don't thin it will be that easy, sir.

I think my husband's talking allegorically.

- Ah. - Or, metaphorically.

Oh.

And, don't forget the lady.

My husband's not likely to forget a lady.

- Or, her father. - Oh, she has a father.

Oh, yes, even French ladies have fathers.

A monsier herulard.

-He might easily be the -contact across the channel.

You leave him to us.

I will.

I'll put some money into your bank account,

- this afternoon. - I say!

- For expenses. - Of course.

So you have some hard cash to gamble with.

And so that I can dress suitably.

Quite so, Mrs. Beresford must equipt herself

with suitable outfits for the python club.

What about one hundred pounds?

Are you sure you can print it, in time?

[Melodic orchestral music plays]

[Laughing cautiously]

[Laughter continues]

Shake well,

but not too long.

Tuppence!

I say!

- [Melodic flute music plays] - Gosh!

Do you like it?

Do I like it?

Well,

well,

it's absolutely

flabbergasting.

[Laughing lightly]

And the shadow.

- Deep as the night. - [Music slows]

And the Jerry lipstick?

I bet it glows, in the dark.

Oh darling, you do say the most divine thing

to boost a chap's ego.

And hardly a motive in sight.

[He laughs heartily]

What about, this one?

Oh no,

what you've got on is the cat's whiskers.

Then I'll wear this,

another night.

[They laugh together]

You're quite a rake at heart,

aren't you darling?

It's a good thing you're married to a steady,

sober, sensible sort of chap, like me.

-Well, you wait until we -get to the python club,

you might not be as sober as you think.

Now, what's that you're mixing?

The horse's neck, at last we have

an Edgar Wallace case.

Slush.

What?

That's what they called forged notes, slush.

Oh, at last, we're proper busies.

And we're out to get a crackler.

What exactly is a crackler when he's at home?

He isn't very often.

Its a word I've just invented.

He's a chap who forges bank notes,

and puts them into circulation.

They crackle,

- so he's a crackler. - [Tuppence laughing]

Simple.

I think I prefer rustler.

- More, sinister. - No,

crackler's more, Edgar Wallace.

Oh, okay.

[Upbeat 1920's style music plays]

Crackler, it is then.

And we're out to get you.

[Music fades]

[Car engine revs]

[Car engine revs]

[Sophisticated piano chords play]

[Background chatter]

[Piano continues]

Ah, there they are.

Come and meet them, Marguerite.

Tommy, you managed to get here.

- Jimmy. - Splendid to see you, again.

Yes, good to hear from you.

May I introduce you to my wife,

- known as tuppence. - Delighted to meet you.

Yes,

and this lady is Mrs. Laidlaw,

my friends mr and Mrs. Beresford.

How do you do?

- How do you do? - Hello, again.

Now, what to drink?

A horse's neck, please.

Marguerite?

Well, now, you Tommy? Yes?

What is your wish?

Oh, I think I'll have a horse's neck too.

Good, then I too will have a neck of a horse.

- [Mr. Laidlaw laughs] - Splendid.

Take a pew.

Three gg's, Harry, and a whisky soda.

Yes, captain.

[Background chatter]

What's the other side of king Kong,

standing there?

Oh that is the tables.

[She speaks in French] Poker, roulette.

Can anyone go in?

Only if you know, the habitué, as they say.

Oh, can't we go in and have

a bit of a flutter?

Nothing easier, Tommy.

Here we are, one little gg,

two gg's and third-past-the-post.

[They laugh lightly]

Ah, bung-ho, skin off your nose!

What about a bit of a whirl, Mrs. Beresford?

[She laughs lightly]

Get on the dance floor?

- The old trot-fox. - Oh, yes, say I!

I do love to dance, don't I, Tommy?

- Don't I, Tommy? - Sorry, darling.

What was that?

[Tuppence] I love to dance.

[Upbeat piano music continues to play]

We will take our neck of the horses,

they are the holy of ponies.

Right you are.

[Piano music continues]

It's very sad.

I'll take another half a dash of [inaudible].

These are wistables, sir.

You know what?

I thought I was back in the states.

I'll have a half a dash of wistables.

Very good, Mr. Ryder.

[Background chatter]

That is my husband,

Camille.

[Dealer] Card, please.

He could be told I was dead

and he would not stop playing.

Papa?

This is Tommy.

- Tommy beresford. - How do you do?

How do you do, Mr. Beresford?

This is major laidlaw.

Excuse us, papa, we will try roulette.

[Speaks French] Is no fun unless someone

at the table is terribly rich.

[She orders poker chips in French]

And, ten pounds, please.

[Cashier] Monsieur.

[Mysterious music plays]

[Upbeat piano music plays]

- [Song finishes] - [They laugh, joyfully]

[Loud clapping]

By jove, that was absolutely spiffing.

- You dance divinely. - You're no slouch, yourself.

[They laugh together]

I say,

may I call you tuppence?

Oh yes, please do.

Well, I'm Jimmy.

- [He laughs amusedly] - Jimmy.

- Let's have another drink. - Same again?

- Oh, yes. - A horse's neck, please.

One gg, Harry and a whisky soda.

[Bartender] Coming up, captain faulkner.

My word, your husband's a lucky fellow.

I've always thought so.

With you dancing the way you do.

Alas, no luck, he doesn't enjoy it very much.

What? Doesn't cotton on to the

- odd spot of terpsichore? - Not really.

Ah, we must put that right.

I command you to come here, night after night,

just to dance with me.

That's a date.

- [She laughs lightly] - Dates?

What's the damage, Harry?

To you captain, 30 shillings.

And to anybody else, a quid.

[He laughs heartily]

- There we are. - Oh, I say,

they look nice.

These? Oh, I suppose they do.

And crackling, where did you get them from?

- Hot of the press. - [He laughs heartily]

No, more likely, gambling here, in my case.

Or the races.

- Thank you, madame. - Oh.

Keep the change, Harry.

Oh thank you, captain.

- Gung-ho. - Cheers.

- Oh. - [He laughs warmly]

[Chatter amongst poker players]

I think that's enough for me, for one night.

Oh, Tommy, too sad.

I must have another throw of two or three.

- Look at my husband. - [Mysterious music plays]

I'll see you later, perhaps.

Insist.

I will winkle you out.

[Door creaks]

[Background chatter]

[Tuppence and Jimmy laugh amusedly]

Did you win?

- Not exactly. - Did you have a nice dance?

It was a divine piece of terpsichore.

[Jimmy laughs heartily]

What?

Oh my word,

you're a lucky dog, Tommy.

Thanks.

I say tuppence, what about an old flutter

in the old holy of holy's.

Oh, rather.

I'll stick you a couple of tenners.

Oh, no, a tenner is much too heavy for me.

- A quid's more my pace. - Nice to see you say.

Come on, then.

Have fun.

Yes, sir?

- Horse's neck. - Yes, sir.

- Evening. - Good evening.

You can't beat the French, can you?

I beg your pardon?

The French, you can't beat 'em.

I refer to Mrs. Laidlaw, Marguerite.

She is the most beautiful woman I've ever

set eyes on.

Yeah, she's very lovely.

I'm from america, sir.

I thought you might be.

- Hank Ryder, New Jersey. - Tommy beresford,

st. john's wood.

I am pretty new to this kind of high life.

I only made my pile a little while ago.

Really?

I've come to Europe to see life.

Where else have you been,

may I ask?

Yeah, um,

France, gay Paris,

- Berlin, Vienna. - Belgium?

No, not yet.

- Your horse's neck, sir. - Ah, thanks.

Would you like a drink?

[Hank] Mm, I'm still going.

I'm afraid that's the smallest I've got.

It's quite all right, sir.

Well,

cheers.

It's a terrible shame,

-such a lovely creature's -got to have money worries.

[Bank notes rustle]

[Chatter amongst poker players]

- Jimmy, darling. - Do me a big favour.

Of course, Marguerite.

Anything within my feeble power.

Tomorrow at ascot, I fancy very much

penning prince for the 4 o'clock.

I'm told he cannot lose.

-You may as well back him, -he wouldn't dare to, my dear.

[Marguerite] Thirty pounds, on the nose.

Right oh.

Oh, oh let me have those,

for a couple of tenners, Jimmy.

I can't bet my life away with tenners.

- Pleasure. - Thank you.

[Mysterious background music plays]

Difficult to tell.

Well I got a 20 from madame laidlaw via Jimmy.

Mine are change from the bar.

[China rattles]

- What's that? - [Tuppence] Here, here.

Whatever for?

[Tuppence] Sober you up.

I beg your pardon?

- [She laughs lightly] - Sober us both up.

I'm absolutely swimming in horse's neck-ness.

[Tommy] In what?

Horse's neck-ness.

Horse's necks?

- [She laughs heartily] - That's what I said.

Horses neck-ness.

[He laughs amusedly]

-Good grief, what's that -apparition you're wearing?

- [Laughing playfully] - Do you like it?

It's my new negligee.

-Like it or not you didn't, -[She laughs amusedly]

Oh tuppence, you did, you bought it out of the

money that marriot gave us.

Well you said I should dress the part.

-[Tommy] Yes, in working, -or even working hours.

But at this time of night?

It gives me a feel of the thing.

A habitué of an illegal gambling club.

Long cigarette holders, hangovers.

Why, don't you like it?

Yes,

but will you stop being so damned feminine

-while I'm trying to examine -these damned bank notes.

Well, just pretend that I'm not here.

Right, thanks very much.

Now.

Out of the four,

I got as change from the bar,

only one is a dud.

- That could be anybody's. - Exactly.

And out of your 20, four are forgeries.

Madame laidlaw got those from her husband.

He was playing Camille.

So, he could have got them from the cashier.

Or from anywhere.

- So that doesn't help much. - [Tuppence laughing slightly]

Well it might.

That means we have to go back to the python club

- and I can wear another dress. - [She laughs gleefully]

- Tuppence? - Hm.

- Concentrate on this bit. - Hm.

These dud notes are all new and crisp.

So they can't have been fondled,

handled,

- by very many people. - Hm.

Drink your chocolate, darling.

While it's hot.

[Kissing noises]

[Melodic piano tune begins]

[Music continues]

[Light chatter]

A horse's neck.

Yes, ma'am.

Where you racing today?

Yes.

Ascot?

Yes.

Successful?

Yes.

Did the horse prince win?

No.

-I only ask because I -think your wife backed it.

Oh?

You obviously enjoy gambling.

Yes.

Me too.

Oh.

But I don't have much luck.

Oh?

And then I usually run out of cash.

Yes.

I often wonder why I don't make my own.

Then I can gamble all day long.

Yes.

I suppose, like most good gamblers,

-you keep your cards pretty -close to your stomach.

Yes.

Don't give much away.

No.

I hate to ask, but,

could you change a ten pound note?

I can change that for you, madame.

Oh.

Thank you.

[Music continues in background]

Cheers.

-One hundred, -one hundred and ten,

twenty, thirty,

forty,

fifty,

sixty,

seventy,

[sighing heavily]

Eighty,

ninety,

two hundred.

Thank you, Jimmy.

And jolly well good luck.

Why, she's a little witch that one. Eh?

Talk about a poker face.

I'll win it back tomorrow night.

Drink?

[Slow piano music plays]

Mr. Ryder,

I think you should go back to your hotel.

[He mumbles quietly]

I don't fancy that.

Well, I know what he looks like.

How?

Photos in the sporting and dramatic.

Major laidlaw and friend's at the derby.

That sort of tripe.

So, what have I got to do then, sir?

You get on your motorcycle,

and follow him to ascot.

Now if they head to the royal enclosure,

you won't be able to get in there.

Why not?

Because you'll need a topper,

or a large pitcher hat with flowers on it.

Can't you lend me one?

Anyhow, the important thing

is to watch if he stops anywhere.

And if he does,

make a not of everything he says,

or does.

And if he's carrying anything.

- [Albert] Like what? - A briefcase, satchel,

anything that could hold bank notes.

- Right, leave it to me. - Wait a minute.

- [Paper rips] - He lives in, uh,

eardley mansions, off Beckett street.

And drives a rolls.

[In American accent] I'm on my way, partner.

I don't think all those gangster films are

a good influence on our Albert.

[Engine whirs]

[Engine slows]

[Birds tweeting in background]

[Tense orchestral background music plays]

[Music heightens]

[Footsteps approach]

What seems to be the trouble?

Trouble?

It's this, here, toggle.

Where?

Here.

I don't see nothing.

Well, driving what you do, yours likely

don't have no toggles.

Oh, fixed it.

[Engine splutters]

All right, sir, what's the game?

Game?

What you on about?

You've been following us all day.

I ain't.

I saw you outside

my genetlmen's house, this morning.

Who, me?

Yes, you.

Why are you following us?

I ain't.

I've been to the races and all.

You best buzz off.

I was just going.

And if I ever set eyes on you again, my lad,

it'll be the worst for you.

[Engine starts]

Who the devil do you think you are?

I said.

-I've as much right to be -standing here as you have.

- And, did he threaten you? - Threaten me?

No, sir, I threatened them.

Anyway he comes over right,

throwing his weight about.

But did you see money change hands?

Yeah. At this here posh pub.

First he takes out a wad of notes,

strips one off to the waiter and hands the rest

to the other bloke.

-And then after that bit, -where you threatened them?

They went straight to the python club.

You're sure?

Yep. Straight there.

Oh, thanks Albert.

You've done just well.

[In American accent] Ah, shuks, Mrs.

It weren't nothing.

Thank you, Albert.

Well, what do you think darling?

I don't know.

Could it just be monsieur herulard

paying lady laidlaw back a debt?

Yes,

but they'd hardly bring out forged notes

in the full light of day.

Of course, you know major laidlaw's blind.

Blind?

- [Albert] As a bat. - I don't believe you.

That's why that thug always stays

so close to him, leading him about.

Albert, why didn't you tell us before?

I only saw him today, for the first time.

[Chattering in background]

[Tense background music plays]

[Hank] Thanks, Jim.

[Marguerite] Oh la la, I lose.

Well, I'm afraid you all lose, folks.

That'll be, uh,

- fifty pounds then, you owe me. - [Sighing heavily]

May I join you at the next game?

No, I will see if I can do better in roulette.

Will you join me?

Mr. Beresford, why don't I buy you a drink?

If you'll excuse me, I'll join you later.

[Upbeat tune plays on piano]

[Music continues]

Well, what's your poison, young man?

I wouldn't like to tell you,

just at the moment.

[Laughing lightly]

[Dealer speaking in French]

[Upbeat piano music continues]

Ah, my Tommy, here you are!

Look, I have won and won.

You certainly have.

Is it safe showing off all that money?

Let's just hope you don't lose it all before

the evening is out.

Look, why don't I change that for you?

To bigger notes.

Oh, you angel, so careful, so wise,

and so charming.

[The rooms claps lightly]

[Tommy] They're all forgeries.

[Tuppence] But where did she get them from?

She won them.

At roulette, I think.

Very smart.

Well, you spent most of your evening

dancing with Jimmy.

What's that got to do with anything?

For all we know, he could be the chap

- forging the notes. - Oh, no, no.

- Very Edgar Wallace. - Not Jimmy.

-Anyway, I think it's fun -mixing business with pleasure.

Matter of fact, I haven't

enjoyed myself so much in years.

We're not supposed to be enjoying ourselves.

-We're supposed to be bringing -a gang of forgers to earth.

What about you and that French phoney?

- Purely business. - [Tuppence laughs wryly]

And no pleasure?

Purely minimal.

I see it,

as a process of elimination.

What's that mean?

It means, if you and I are accused of forgery

and it wasn't me, then I'm eliminated

and it must be you.

I might have known.

You see, it could be any one,

of the habitué's of the python club.

Habitué are the people who go there.

Well, I know that.

-Or if it's a gang, -as inspector marriot thinks,

then it could be, all of them.

Yes, that makes sense.

Major laidlaw, even though blind,

his wife, her father, monsieur herulard,

that American chap, Jimmy faulkner,

even Harry the barman.

-But what, -if it isn't a gang?

Ah, well,

then it could be any one of them.

Mind you, one of them might be

the leader of the gang, but the other members

might not be there habituals.

Habitué's.

Yes that's an idea.

Like in jailbait, there was this

-little old woman, right, -we saw that, Albert.

Oh yeah, that's right.

Now, if this were an Edgar Wallace case,

then the criminal could be somebody

pretending to be somebody else.

The ringer, there's a detective that turns out

- not to be a detective. - Yes, we saw that too,

Albert.

Sorry.

Mind you,

if the major isn't really a major.

Or even blind.

Marguerite laidlaw isn't really French,

her father isn't her father and Jimmy.

Hang on, hang on.

Just because these people are handling

the counter-fit money,

-doesn't necessarily mean -that they are printing it.

No, of course not, but.

[Tommy] What is it, darling?

[Albert] You all right, Mrs. B?

She's having one of her hunches.

[Phone trills]

Whitehall, one two, one two.

Scotland yard.

- Inspector marriot. - She's onto something.

Do you remember

the case of the frightened lady?

[Tommy and tuppence shush Albert]

-Inspector marriot, -Mrs. Beresford.

No, no not yet.

But there's something I want you to do for me.

Phone all the big hotels

and find out if a large number of forged notes

have been used to pay big bills.

Yes.

We'll wait here until you ring.

Well?

Yeah, come on, Mrs. B, spill the beans.

If I'm right, it's too dangerous for us.

[Shelf collapses loudly]

[Mysterious background music plays]

[Music intensifies]

I'll only be a minute, darling.

See you in the gaming room.

Right oh.

[Background music fades]

Mr. Ryder,

what are you doing?

A goddam hat stand,

never saw anything like that in New Jersey.

[Tommy laughs amusedly]

You know what, you've got two heads.

Ah, well I've only got one hat.

- Wow, what do you know? - Sure you have.

- [They laugh amusedly] - That is remarkable.

Why don't you try that one?

Buy am I, juiced.

I mixed all my drinks, earlier on.

Someone at the bar there, bet me I wouldn't.

Oh? Who did?

- Well, who do you think? - Marguerite.

Just for fun.

Look, old chap, why don't you go home?

I got no home to go to.

What about your hotel?

Well, a hotel's not a home.

Anyway, I promised Marguerite I'm gonna join her

after the treasure hunt.

What treasure hunt?

I'm telling you young man, the treasure hunt.

The [he mumbles],

they do it all the time.

Anyways, she took me there in her car.

Where?

Er,

cobble stones, and it was five hundred pounds.

Oh, you're pulling my leg.

I'm telling you, it was white, something.

- Whitehall? - [Hank] No.

Whitechapel?

That's it.

And you found five hundred pounds there?

I didn't, she did.

She left me outside.

She's always leaving me outside.

It's very sad.

Do you think you'd find your way back again?

Well, of course.

Hank Ryder doesn't lose his bearings that easy.

Come on, then.

[Rhythmic instrumental background music plays]

Careful now.

[Hank stumbles loudly]

Mind you head.

Hey, is this a rolls Royce?

No old chap, it's a Bentley, actually.

[Background music continues]

[Engine revs loudly]

[They converse in French]

[Continued conversation in French]

To earn the money to play here, madame.

Yeah of course.

Toodle pip.

Toddle pip.

[Foreboding background music plays]

Where are we?

- Whitechapel. - Oh yeah.

Yeah it looks kind of familiar.

I think that we turned to the right

somewhere down there, and then keep going.

There's a phone box.

What do you want a phone for?

To call the python club,

let tuppence know where I am.

Why, you think she'll be worried?

I hope so.

[Slow melodic tune plays on piano]

No sign of your errant husband?

Apparently not.

A dance, while waiting?

No thank you, Jimmy, I'm tired.

A drink, then?

Oh, why not.

A little champagne would be reviving.

Good gal.

[Engine whirs]

See that pub?

Yes.

- It's down there. - Down that street there.

Want to drop in for a quick one?

Pubs probably closed by now.

Okay.

All right, turn down there.

Why are we doing all this?

[Hank mumbles inaudibly while slurring his words]

Could be.

[Hank continues to mumble]

Possibly.

[Hank laughs heartily]

Hey, that's it!

Pull over, down there.

[Waiter whispers to tuppence]

Sorry Jimmy.

Must dash.

Right.

[Cats purr in background]

[Dog barks in distance]

[Engine whirs]

Where are we going?

Whitechapel.

Oh, why?

All he said was, cats.

[Engine whirs]

[Dogs continue to bark in distance]

- She went in there. - You sure?

I'm sure.

She left me down at the end of the alley.

- But how can you tell? - They all look the same.

Like the story of the Princess and the solder.

I don't know that one.

Well Marguerite's a real Princess, but,

I'm certainly no soldier.

Yes, well they put a cross on the door

to show which one it was.

I'll be darned.

- I think I'll do the same. - Why?

In case we're in danger.

[Animals sound in background]

Oh, cats about.

- What do we do now? - We step inside?

Be careful.

We do.

Hey,

there's someone coming down the alley.

Let me handle it.

[Mysterious background music plays]

[Music intensifies]

[Cats meow in background]

[Music slows]

[Door creaks open]

[Door slams shut]

Good evening, Mr. Beresford.

Willie, the oyster opener?

Turn off the gas.

- Oh, the headquarters. - Shut your trap!

- Put your hands up. - [Door slams in background]

[Hank in other room] Got 'em boys?

So, Mr. Busy busy.

Reach the end of the trail, huh?

Mr. Hank Ryder,

what a surprise.

Hm, I have been laughing with the boys,

these past few days.

Really?

-You know, I was onto you, -right from the start.

I knew you weren't really in with that crowd

at the python.

Let you play a bod for a bit until I

got you suspicious of the lovely Marguerite,

and then I said to myself,

now's he time to lead him to it.

And now I'm on the spot.

[Hank] Well, it looks like it.

I mean, I'm not giving up this business

for the sake of two amateur peepers.

So what are you going to do?

Bump me off?

[Hank] Have yo got any other suggestions?

[Cats meow in background]

I wouldn't bank on that cross that you

put on that door.

Why not?

Well, I know that cock-eyed fairy story.

-I went back and I put a cross -on all the other doors.

By the time they find the right door

and your body,

me and the boys will be out of the country.

With major laidlaw and his wife.

-Damn, god, they're only -into interested in horses.

They're not in our league, sunny.

Really?

Well,

let's get it over with.

You thought you were so clever, didn't you?

We were a step ahead of you, all the way.

[Door crashes open]

[Fast orchestral background music plays]

[Commotion and banging]

[Tense music continues]

Well done, sir.

Just in time, inspector.

Tommy?

[Tommy] In here, darling.

- Are you all right? - Never better.

Well, inspector,

you were right about the python club.

May I introduce you to Mr. Hank Ryder,

his henchman and equipment.

I said I'd get you, crackler,

and I have.

Crackler?

What the hell are you talking about?

You'll find it in the next

criminal dictionary, etymology doubtful.

Take them away.

- [Tommy laughs joyously] - [Tommy] Well done, Albert.

How did you get those cats to lead us here?

Oh, I not only equipped myself with chalk,

but with a vile of valerian.

What on earth is valerian?

It stinks to I have 'em but cats love it.

I know, I keep them.

-Cats is what he said and cats -is what I looked for.

They was outside the door when I arrived.

But there was no need to go and pick up

Mrs. Beresford, it could have been dangerous.

[Albert] I knew she wouldn't want to

miss all the fun.

No, quite right.

Well, thank you very much for your help.

Always a pleasure, inspector.

Though, I have to admit,

-it was my clever wife who -first suspected the yankee.

-The hotel he was staying at -had hundreds of pounds worth

of forged bank notes, palmed off.

Mind you, I wouldn't trust

those others at the python club

further than I could throw them.

[Marriot] I'm afraid it turned out more

dangerous than I'd anticipated.

[Tommy] What, with Jimmy faulkner,

dancing two, two.

[Tuppence] Marguerite fluttering her eyelids

at Tommy.

[Marriot] Yes, well, goodnight, miss.

[Albert] See you in the morning.

[Tommy] Not to mention,

all those cocktails.

[Tuppence] Hanging on her every word.

[Kissing sounds]

[Tommy] So,

it was quite a dangerous job.

[Tuppence] A very dangerous job.

[Upbeat orchestral outro music plays]

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