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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:24,347 Come on. Honey. Give Daddy the blanket. 2 00:00:25,563 --> 00:00:28,978 Listen. This is gonna be a fun party with lots of cake and ice cream... 3 00:00:29,051 --> 00:00:31,506 but little girls with wet blankets can't go. 4 00:00:31,579 --> 00:00:33,466 Now. Give it to Daddy. 5 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:40,181 Do this: Leave the blanket here. I'll advance your allowance till you're 40. 6 00:00:40,251 --> 00:00:41,680 Fair enough? 7 00:00:44,026 --> 00:00:46,710 There is no way that that blanket is going in this car. 8 00:00:46,778 --> 00:00:48,949 - Mom! - No. No. Not this time. 9 00:00:49,018 --> 00:00:51,505 This is a brand new $25.000 BMW... 10 00:00:51,577 --> 00:00:53,966 325 e5 with leather interior. 11 00:00:54,042 --> 00:00:55,951 Tom. It's just a car. 12 00:00:56,025 --> 00:00:58,513 Come on. I just Armor-Alled the seats. 13 00:01:09,849 --> 00:01:11,703 Got any eights? 14 00:01:12,729 --> 00:01:14,190 Go fish. 15 00:01:14,264 --> 00:01:15,987 Why does it always take her so long? 16 00:01:16,056 --> 00:01:19,668 Just think of her as a work in progress. 17 00:01:22,424 --> 00:01:24,660 - Do I look all right? - Do stars twinkle? 18 00:01:24,727 --> 00:01:26,004 Come on. Sweetheart. Your bike awaits. 19 00:01:26,072 --> 00:01:28,755 Have you ever tried to put pantyhose on with wet nails? 20 00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:30,928 - It's a bitch. - I forgot my sample case. 21 00:01:30,999 --> 00:01:33,039 Come on. Tish. We're gonna be late. 22 00:01:33,111 --> 00:01:34,452 We are late. 23 00:01:36,247 --> 00:01:37,708 Be careful. 24 00:01:40,790 --> 00:01:42,645 Get out of the road! 25 00:01:45,942 --> 00:01:47,797 Be careful. Tom! 26 00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:00,274 Come on! 27 00:02:04,021 --> 00:02:06,093 Congratulations. Mama. 28 00:02:06,165 --> 00:02:08,532 Wasn't it a beautiful ceremony? 29 00:02:08,597 --> 00:02:10,735 Beautiful. 30 00:02:10,804 --> 00:02:12,975 Oh. No! It means fertility. 31 00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:14,571 God forbid. 32 00:02:29,235 --> 00:02:32,017 This great song with its wonderful rhythm 33 00:02:33,171 --> 00:02:36,302 It's a wonderful rhythm and you can feel it 34 00:02:36,371 --> 00:02:38,792 You know what I'm saying 35 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:42,183 Yes, you know what I'm saying Come on and dance 36 00:02:42,259 --> 00:02:44,266 Come on and dance Come on and dance 37 00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:46,672 Look at Mom! 38 00:02:47,954 --> 00:02:51,783 When the stars meet the heavens The sky will shine 39 00:02:51,858 --> 00:02:54,541 The whole night long the sky will shine 40 00:02:56,113 --> 00:02:57,455 Bad tits. 41 00:03:00,850 --> 00:03:02,824 No ass. 42 00:03:02,897 --> 00:03:05,548 So. Tom. you still selling Subarus? 43 00:03:05,617 --> 00:03:08,780 How many times I got to tell you. Kirby? I sell BMWs. 44 00:03:08,848 --> 00:03:11,085 I just happen to work out of a Subaru showroom. 45 00:03:15,568 --> 00:03:18,383 - Look at her. - What a pig. 46 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,422 Here we are. Safe and sound. 47 00:03:23,792 --> 00:03:25,767 I know. We got to get a car. 48 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,595 It's on my list. 49 00:03:27,664 --> 00:03:29,518 I dried my hair in front of the TV... 50 00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:31,885 and it's full of electricity. 51 00:03:31,951 --> 00:03:33,806 Mitch. Please stop. 52 00:03:33,871 --> 00:03:35,726 Mitch. Don't do that. 53 00:03:35,791 --> 00:03:38,889 Your cousins Toby and Mary... do they have a boy or a girl? 54 00:03:38,958 --> 00:03:40,584 One or the other. 55 00:03:42,445 --> 00:03:44,333 Go! Go! Go! Go! 56 00:04:08,364 --> 00:04:10,665 Congratulations to the bride and groom. 57 00:04:10,731 --> 00:04:12,619 Many happy years together. 58 00:04:12,683 --> 00:04:14,537 Jesus. Who is that? 59 00:04:19,179 --> 00:04:22,048 You take away the clothes and the makeup. What do you got? 60 00:04:22,123 --> 00:04:24,163 A gorgeous naked woman. 61 00:04:26,346 --> 00:04:28,932 Congratulations. Uncle Phil. 62 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,692 Isn't she something? 63 00:04:30,762 --> 00:04:32,999 Edie. If you are half as wonderful as my uncle says... 64 00:04:33,066 --> 00:04:35,651 I want you to leave him right now... I'm gonna marry you. 65 00:04:37,066 --> 00:04:39,204 This is Larry's beautiful wife. Tish. 66 00:04:39,273 --> 00:04:40,648 Congratulations. 67 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,496 And this monster here is Mitchie. 68 00:04:43,561 --> 00:04:45,470 Hey. Easy on the mousse. Uncle Phil. 69 00:04:45,545 --> 00:04:48,196 - Hi. Mitch. - This is for you. 70 00:04:48,265 --> 00:04:50,720 You coming to work for me. you son of a gun? 71 00:04:50,793 --> 00:04:52,702 I told you. Uncle Phil. I just don't see... 72 00:04:52,777 --> 00:04:56,639 an intellectual albeit muscular guy like myself working in a junkyard. 73 00:04:57,608 --> 00:05:01,121 Larry. Believe me. there's a future in garbage. 74 00:05:01,192 --> 00:05:04,988 By the year 2000. There's gonna be no place left for human refuse. 75 00:05:05,064 --> 00:05:08,195 Get in while the market's still open. 76 00:05:08,263 --> 00:05:11,362 Don't say nothing. Sleep on it. 77 00:05:11,432 --> 00:05:14,847 - We'll talk. Okay? - It's on my list. Uncle Phil. 78 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,992 - It's on my list. I swear to God. - I got your list. 79 00:05:21,958 --> 00:05:24,926 I would like to make... Attention. Please. Attention. 80 00:05:24,998 --> 00:05:28,413 I want to make a toast to this lovely young couple. 81 00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:32,252 Most of us find love... 82 00:05:32,326 --> 00:05:34,148 once in a lifetime. if we're lucky. 83 00:05:35,206 --> 00:05:39,329 But for these two to find love again. later in life... 84 00:05:42,246 --> 00:05:45,726 On behalf of my whole family. we are grateful... 85 00:05:45,797 --> 00:05:50,368 because my Uncle Phil. While being one of the great men in garbage... 86 00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:53,120 has not always been so keen on personal hygiene. 87 00:05:53,189 --> 00:05:55,163 But that is until he met you. 88 00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:58,723 So... 89 00:05:58,788 --> 00:06:01,057 I will now disrobe... 90 00:06:01,124 --> 00:06:03,841 and play a Celtic classic ballad... 91 00:06:03,908 --> 00:06:06,013 on my love flute. 92 00:06:06,084 --> 00:06:07,775 Shut up! 93 00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:17,951 My nephew Larry's making a toast. 94 00:06:22,595 --> 00:06:24,798 Thank you. Uncle Phil. 95 00:06:24,866 --> 00:06:26,590 Even the band stopped. 96 00:06:26,659 --> 00:06:29,888 Well. I was... Excuse me here... 97 00:06:29,954 --> 00:06:34,209 I was just trying to make a toast here. 98 00:06:35,746 --> 00:06:38,331 I guess what I was trying to say was... 99 00:06:38,401 --> 00:06:40,125 this occasion's more than a wedding. 100 00:06:40,194 --> 00:06:42,747 It's a love story. 101 00:06:42,818 --> 00:06:46,527 It's... I'm dying here. 102 00:06:46,593 --> 00:06:49,244 It's the story... 103 00:06:49,313 --> 00:06:52,247 It's the story of a lovely lady 104 00:06:52,321 --> 00:06:55,321 Who was living... had three lovely girls 105 00:06:55,393 --> 00:06:57,083 Sisters 106 00:06:57,152 --> 00:07:00,447 Each of them had hair like their mother 107 00:07:00,513 --> 00:07:03,960 What's the real color of her hair anyway? 108 00:07:08,416 --> 00:07:10,204 Make up your own verse! 109 00:07:10,271 --> 00:07:13,467 It's the story of Phil Kozinski 110 00:07:13,536 --> 00:07:16,983 Who was living in a garbage dump alone 111 00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:20,158 Anyway. Anyway... 112 00:07:20,223 --> 00:07:21,784 Anyway. To life... 113 00:07:21,855 --> 00:07:23,709 to love... 114 00:07:23,775 --> 00:07:25,629 to Phil and Edie. 115 00:07:38,686 --> 00:07:40,409 I'm touched. 116 00:07:43,902 --> 00:07:45,690 Such a wonderful nephew. 117 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:48,823 Such a wonderful bride. I don't deserve her. 118 00:07:48,893 --> 00:07:50,649 You're right. You bastard! 119 00:07:50,717 --> 00:07:54,546 Hey. You don't like it. kiss me where the sun don't shine! 120 00:07:54,621 --> 00:07:57,109 - Oh. Yeah? Where's that? - I'll show you where! 121 00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,683 It's all mine! 122 00:08:18,939 --> 00:08:22,965 My brother Angelo just rolled over in his grave. 123 00:08:23,899 --> 00:08:26,965 - You're crazy! - Crazy with love! 124 00:08:27,994 --> 00:08:30,547 You put your right leg in You put your right leg out 125 00:08:30,618 --> 00:08:32,691 You put your right leg in 126 00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:34,486 And shake it all about 127 00:08:34,554 --> 00:08:36,975 Do the Hokey Pokey and turn yourself around 128 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,352 That's what it's all about 129 00:08:44,505 --> 00:08:46,392 Now. All of these products are natural... 130 00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:50,134 and they're coordinated to go with your individual coloring. 131 00:08:50,202 --> 00:08:53,846 You're a fall... soft ambers and magenta. 132 00:08:53,913 --> 00:08:57,491 And you're a summer... yellows and blues. 133 00:08:58,873 --> 00:09:02,833 And you. You're a spring. You should be in pink. 134 00:09:02,904 --> 00:09:04,562 Darling. I'm a widow. 135 00:09:04,632 --> 00:09:07,152 Thirty years. and I only wear black. 136 00:09:07,224 --> 00:09:09,777 And on you. It works. 137 00:09:09,848 --> 00:09:11,375 Classic. 138 00:09:11,448 --> 00:09:14,960 Turn yourself around That's what it's all about 139 00:09:15,864 --> 00:09:17,620 Look at her. 140 00:09:17,688 --> 00:09:20,175 She buried my brother only five years ago. 141 00:09:20,247 --> 00:09:23,760 - Look at her. She killed him. - What? 142 00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:26,678 She killed him by putting butter in his food all the time. 143 00:09:28,983 --> 00:09:31,438 Listen to me. Kevin. I'm telling you. I got a problem with this. 144 00:09:31,510 --> 00:09:34,031 - Now's not the time. - You canceled the check. 145 00:09:34,103 --> 00:09:36,524 - You didn't fix the car. - What. It's my fault it broke down? 146 00:09:36,598 --> 00:09:38,321 It broke down on the way home. 147 00:09:38,390 --> 00:09:40,277 - You owe me money. - You owe me a car! 148 00:09:40,342 --> 00:09:42,229 - You're a goddamn liar. - You're a cheat! 149 00:09:42,294 --> 00:09:45,076 - Shithead. Come on! - Take it easy. 150 00:09:46,838 --> 00:09:48,943 Relax! Relax! Just relax! 151 00:09:49,014 --> 00:09:51,283 - Take it easy. - Your cousin's an asshole. 152 00:09:51,349 --> 00:09:54,349 - Hey. Just take it easy. - Get some help. Tom. 153 00:09:57,108 --> 00:09:58,635 I'm sorry. 154 00:10:03,892 --> 00:10:06,827 Up close. she doesn't look so young. 155 00:10:28,083 --> 00:10:31,660 You're telling me your parents let you come here today... 156 00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:34,632 and never warned you about the wedding killer? 157 00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:41,389 You see. There's this guy... Fred. I think his name is... 158 00:10:41,457 --> 00:10:45,232 and his girlfriend walked out on him. Okay? 159 00:10:45,297 --> 00:10:47,206 And on the day of her wedding to this other guy... 160 00:10:47,281 --> 00:10:48,907 Fred showed up... 161 00:10:49,938 --> 00:10:51,367 and he had a machete... 162 00:10:51,441 --> 00:10:53,351 and he chopped her head off. 163 00:10:54,481 --> 00:10:56,936 There was blood everywhere. 164 00:10:57,009 --> 00:10:59,213 Then he sliced the groom's guts open... 165 00:10:59,281 --> 00:11:01,353 right down the middle and this stuff spilled out... 166 00:11:01,424 --> 00:11:03,115 that looked like spaghetti. 167 00:11:05,072 --> 00:11:08,171 And then he ripped her heart out while it was still beating... 168 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:09,996 and he ate it. 169 00:11:10,896 --> 00:11:11,790 Wait. Wait. 170 00:11:11,856 --> 00:11:15,500 And now. He goes from wedding to wedding... 171 00:11:15,567 --> 00:11:17,672 macheteing up everybody into little pieces. 172 00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:19,685 Kids too? 173 00:11:19,759 --> 00:11:21,581 Especially kids. 174 00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:22,792 Time to go. Kids. 175 00:11:27,567 --> 00:11:30,022 How sweet of you to tell them stories. Mitch. 176 00:11:30,095 --> 00:11:31,917 There's nothing to it. 177 00:11:38,127 --> 00:11:39,534 Children. Children. 178 00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:41,704 Outside. 179 00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:49,065 Bye-bye! 180 00:11:52,174 --> 00:11:54,378 - Bye-bye! - Send a card! 181 00:11:57,166 --> 00:11:59,206 Okay. I'll call you. 182 00:12:01,614 --> 00:12:03,468 Dad. I can't find her anywhere... 183 00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:05,443 and I got plans tonight. 184 00:12:08,110 --> 00:12:10,565 - Can you take my kid home? - Come along. Mitch. 185 00:12:10,638 --> 00:12:13,485 Great. Thanks. As dads go. You're okay. 186 00:12:13,549 --> 00:12:15,338 Home by 10:00. 187 00:12:16,460 --> 00:12:18,370 Mitch. Home by 10:00. 188 00:12:21,645 --> 00:12:23,750 - Bye. - No more? 189 00:12:28,236 --> 00:12:31,585 She's going to come back soon. She's on a honeymoon. 190 00:12:34,732 --> 00:12:37,066 I don't know where he went. I don't understand. 191 00:12:42,123 --> 00:12:44,840 - I seem to have lost my mate. - Me too. 192 00:12:44,907 --> 00:12:46,979 I was sure I came in with one. 193 00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:50,469 Nice wedding. 194 00:12:53,610 --> 00:12:55,912 - I'm Phil's nephew. - I know. I'm Edie's... 195 00:12:55,978 --> 00:12:57,571 I know. 196 00:12:57,642 --> 00:12:59,267 - Larry. - I'm Maria. 197 00:12:59,338 --> 00:13:01,062 - Chloe. - Hi. Chloe. 198 00:13:01,130 --> 00:13:02,690 - Are you cold. Sweetheart? - Yeah. 199 00:13:02,762 --> 00:13:05,479 Well. Why don't we go inside. 200 00:13:05,546 --> 00:13:07,553 Yes. That's a good idea. 201 00:13:16,841 --> 00:13:20,102 - You should be a singer. - Thanks. I'll try. 202 00:13:20,168 --> 00:13:22,502 Your wife is very beautiful. 203 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:25,470 - Have you been married long? - A couple of years. You? 204 00:13:25,544 --> 00:13:27,268 Almost 11. 205 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,535 We were married young. 206 00:13:31,848 --> 00:13:35,109 - Work? - Yes. He sells cars. Subarus. 207 00:13:35,175 --> 00:13:38,209 - No. Do you work? - Me? 208 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,378 Yes. I'm a legal secretary. 209 00:13:42,407 --> 00:13:43,868 And you? 210 00:13:43,943 --> 00:13:46,048 I teach ballroom dancing. 211 00:13:46,919 --> 00:13:49,155 Really? 212 00:13:49,222 --> 00:13:52,222 Would you be more impressed if I said I was a securities analyst? 213 00:13:52,294 --> 00:13:53,985 Because my first wife was. 214 00:13:54,055 --> 00:13:56,542 My father. However. was more impressed... 215 00:13:56,614 --> 00:13:58,785 when I was a real estate broker. 216 00:13:58,854 --> 00:14:01,342 My first wife's friends liked that too. 217 00:14:01,414 --> 00:14:03,618 Everybody was impressed but me. 218 00:14:03,686 --> 00:14:07,101 - And you play the piano too. - No. 219 00:14:09,062 --> 00:14:10,044 Trumpet. 220 00:14:11,173 --> 00:14:13,246 Are you really a dance teacher? 221 00:14:16,869 --> 00:14:18,778 Here you go. This... 222 00:14:18,853 --> 00:14:23,392 entitles you to one free lesson. 223 00:14:23,461 --> 00:14:25,665 - I'm not a very good dancer. - That's okay. 224 00:14:25,733 --> 00:14:28,318 I'm not a very good teacher. 225 00:14:30,596 --> 00:14:34,457 Well. I bet I know somebody who would like to dance. 226 00:14:36,996 --> 00:14:39,516 You're so light. 227 00:14:44,387 --> 00:14:46,209 You're very good with children. 228 00:14:47,267 --> 00:14:51,041 Well. My job gives me a lot of time to spend with my son. 229 00:14:52,451 --> 00:14:54,338 The one with the video camera? 230 00:14:57,538 --> 00:15:01,018 You know. My mother and Phil. they are so sweet. 231 00:15:02,914 --> 00:15:05,434 I felt like crying. but I couldn't. 232 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,066 I never can. 233 00:15:08,993 --> 00:15:10,880 Why am I telling you this? 234 00:15:10,946 --> 00:15:13,149 People tell dance teachers things. 235 00:15:13,217 --> 00:15:15,486 Thank you. Madam. Lovely. 236 00:15:15,553 --> 00:15:19,000 Nobody told me anything when I was in securities. 237 00:15:19,073 --> 00:15:21,211 How many jobs did you have? 238 00:15:21,281 --> 00:15:23,004 I don't know. A lot. 239 00:15:23,073 --> 00:15:25,244 I change every two or three years. 240 00:15:25,312 --> 00:15:27,767 If it looks like I might be successful. I move on. 241 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,774 - You don't want to be successful? - I want to be happy. 242 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,014 Hey. We're getting personal here. 243 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:37,724 You're learning my secrets. and I don't know a thing about you. 244 00:15:38,815 --> 00:15:40,376 Not an interesting person. 245 00:15:41,535 --> 00:15:43,422 Christ. You... How you doing? 246 00:15:43,488 --> 00:15:45,495 You will not believe what happened to us. 247 00:15:45,567 --> 00:15:48,633 The goddamn car broke down. Where is everybody? 248 00:15:49,951 --> 00:15:52,439 Jesus. I didn't know it was this late. Are you okay? 249 00:15:52,511 --> 00:15:55,510 Tom was just giving me a test drive in his car. 250 00:15:55,582 --> 00:15:58,713 We lost track of time. Tom sells BMWs. 251 00:15:58,782 --> 00:16:02,841 - I thought they were Subarus. - You're in the market for a new car. 252 00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:04,982 We are. Aren't we. Honey? 253 00:16:05,054 --> 00:16:07,803 Your wife and I were talking about putting a set of wheels under you... 254 00:16:07,870 --> 00:16:09,593 at a price you can afford. 255 00:16:09,662 --> 00:16:12,695 Not just any set of wheels. Bavarian Motor Works. 256 00:16:13,789 --> 00:16:16,604 I think a BMW is a little out of our range. 257 00:16:18,556 --> 00:16:21,273 Besides. They're breaking down all the time. 258 00:16:29,468 --> 00:16:31,507 So anyway. As soon as she said... 259 00:16:31,580 --> 00:16:34,264 they were thinking about buying a car. I knew it. 260 00:16:34,332 --> 00:16:36,339 If I could get her behind the wheel. Bingo. 261 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,543 Sale. Commission. full sticker price. 262 00:16:39,612 --> 00:16:41,717 Then the car breaks down. 263 00:16:41,788 --> 00:16:44,024 That's the thing in sales. You concentrate on the woman. 264 00:16:44,091 --> 00:16:46,066 Women always liked you. Tom. 265 00:16:48,763 --> 00:16:50,454 You believe me. Don't you? 266 00:16:50,523 --> 00:16:53,206 Why shouldn't I? You're my husband. 267 00:17:01,082 --> 00:17:03,351 Phil's worth a lot of money. 268 00:17:03,418 --> 00:17:05,873 You really should take him up on his offer. 269 00:17:05,945 --> 00:17:08,793 You're great at collecting junk. 270 00:17:08,858 --> 00:17:11,225 You'd wind up running the company. 271 00:17:14,457 --> 00:17:16,726 My psychic. Mrs. Wong... 272 00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:18,681 is encouraging me to express myself. 273 00:17:18,745 --> 00:17:21,166 She says a lot of attractive women get depressed... 274 00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:24,721 because they think people see nothing but their looks. 275 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,451 She thinks I have sensitivity and talent. Larry. 276 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,941 She says that. 277 00:17:37,016 --> 00:17:38,926 Mrs. Wong is "wight." 278 00:17:40,823 --> 00:17:43,278 I should tell you that more often. I'm sorry. 279 00:17:45,975 --> 00:17:49,270 Would you still slay a dragon for me? 280 00:17:52,151 --> 00:17:54,289 Maybe a baby dragon. 281 00:18:01,846 --> 00:18:05,195 Mrs. Wong gave me a self-improvement tape. Would you like to hear it? 282 00:18:05,270 --> 00:18:07,058 Not right now. 283 00:18:10,294 --> 00:18:13,108 I wouldn't hurt you for anything. You know that. Don't you? 284 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:18,447 Why would you say that? 285 00:18:18,517 --> 00:18:21,833 Will you dance with me? We never dance anymore. 286 00:18:48,467 --> 00:18:50,027 Oh. I forgot to tell you. 287 00:18:50,099 --> 00:18:52,848 Remember the guy on the news who listened to Ozzy Osbourne so much... 288 00:18:52,915 --> 00:18:56,046 that his parents sued because he became a mass murderer? 289 00:18:56,115 --> 00:18:57,937 Aunt Irene told me today... 290 00:18:58,003 --> 00:19:00,304 she's thinking of suing now because cousin Donald... 291 00:19:00,371 --> 00:19:02,378 listened to Barry Manilow over and over... 292 00:19:02,451 --> 00:19:04,305 and he became a florist. 293 00:19:08,594 --> 00:19:11,147 That bad. Huh? What's up? 294 00:19:12,273 --> 00:19:14,761 It's the blonde on the blue bicycle. Isn't it? 295 00:19:15,601 --> 00:19:16,817 Shut up. 296 00:19:16,945 --> 00:19:20,523 The blonde whose initials are on your Vans? 297 00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,106 Shut up. 298 00:19:25,104 --> 00:19:28,486 When I watch you play soccer and the guys go for Gatorade at the break... 299 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,894 you go and talk to the blonde on the blue bicycle. 300 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,586 I said shut up! 301 00:19:32,656 --> 00:19:35,306 - You're not my mother. - I'm just trying to help. Mitchie. 302 00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,936 I could give you the girl's point of view. 303 00:19:37,007 --> 00:19:39,047 Tish. Kiss my squirrel! 304 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,697 We will have no squirrel kissing here tonight. 305 00:19:42,767 --> 00:19:44,622 Well. I was just trying to help. 306 00:19:44,687 --> 00:19:47,021 I think I should spend a little time with Mitchie alone. 307 00:19:50,191 --> 00:19:52,612 "Kiss my squirrel"? 308 00:19:52,687 --> 00:19:54,377 Hey. Come on. 309 00:19:55,534 --> 00:19:56,778 Oh. That's very nice. 310 00:19:59,886 --> 00:20:03,301 Go apologize to Tish. Go. Get out of here. 311 00:20:03,374 --> 00:20:07,302 Repeat several times a day... 312 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,821 'I approve... 313 00:20:10,893 --> 00:20:13,762 of myself. 314 00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:16,390 I approve... 315 00:20:16,461 --> 00:20:18,151 of myself. " 316 00:20:24,044 --> 00:20:27,208 You're not throwing quite hard enough. 317 00:20:27,276 --> 00:20:29,283 I hate Leonard Pierson. 318 00:20:29,356 --> 00:20:30,469 Who? 319 00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,514 Leonard Pierson... in my class. 320 00:20:32,588 --> 00:20:34,530 He follows me around all the time. 321 00:20:34,604 --> 00:20:36,426 But you shouldn't hate anybody. Chloe. 322 00:20:36,492 --> 00:20:38,859 He tells everyone he loves me. 323 00:20:38,923 --> 00:20:40,548 That is sweet. 324 00:20:40,619 --> 00:20:42,441 You be sweet to him. Okay? 325 00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:44,449 - Bye. - Bye. Mom. 326 00:21:23,881 --> 00:21:27,361 - Hi. Tom. - Bernadette... 327 00:21:27,432 --> 00:21:30,661 Iook. I'm sorry. But we have to stop seeing each other. 328 00:21:32,136 --> 00:21:34,721 - What? - It's just getting too serious. 329 00:21:41,287 --> 00:21:42,978 You're right. 330 00:21:55,590 --> 00:21:57,892 I'll be with you in a minute. okay. Tom? 331 00:22:03,366 --> 00:22:05,220 How is your family? 332 00:22:05,286 --> 00:22:07,228 Olga. Listen. About us... 333 00:22:09,542 --> 00:22:12,389 You've got a new girlfriend. 334 00:22:15,013 --> 00:22:17,468 I can't see you anymore. 335 00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:19,522 Lighten up. 336 00:22:21,765 --> 00:22:23,259 Planned Parenthood. 337 00:22:38,948 --> 00:22:41,184 You're not allowed to talk to the driver. 338 00:22:57,762 --> 00:22:59,933 Would you excuse me just one moment? 339 00:23:04,386 --> 00:23:06,109 - Hi. - What did you tell him? 340 00:23:06,178 --> 00:23:08,283 - Who? - Your husband. About us? 341 00:23:08,354 --> 00:23:10,426 - Nothing. - Good. Keep it that way. 342 00:23:10,497 --> 00:23:13,563 I wanted to make sure you're not a three-beers-and-confession type. 343 00:23:15,105 --> 00:23:17,177 You're a lot different than last night. 344 00:23:18,049 --> 00:23:21,082 Last night never happened. Understand? I've changed my whole life today. 345 00:23:21,152 --> 00:23:23,421 I've cleaned up my act. No more women. 346 00:23:23,488 --> 00:23:25,877 Last night never happened. understand? 347 00:23:25,952 --> 00:23:28,985 And if you ever say it did... if you use the "f" word about us... 348 00:23:29,056 --> 00:23:31,260 if even the "fu" sound comes out of your mouth... 349 00:23:31,328 --> 00:23:34,110 I will denounce you as a liar and home-wrecker. Do you understand? 350 00:23:34,176 --> 00:23:35,965 Miss? 351 00:23:36,032 --> 00:23:39,610 Excuse me. I have to get back to her or her eyeliner will cake. 352 00:23:40,959 --> 00:23:44,571 - Do you understand? - I have an IQ in the triple digits. 353 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,974 What word do you think I didn't understand? 354 00:23:47,039 --> 00:23:50,584 Okay. I just wanted to make sure you understood. 355 00:23:50,654 --> 00:23:53,240 - Are you wearing black underwear? - Yes. 356 00:23:54,462 --> 00:23:56,404 Want to meet me for a drink later? 357 00:23:59,166 --> 00:24:02,482 Kiss my squirrel. 358 00:24:06,238 --> 00:24:08,987 So they drove to a shopping mall... 359 00:24:09,053 --> 00:24:11,192 and parked in back of a supermarket... 360 00:24:11,262 --> 00:24:13,498 behind a Dumpster... 361 00:24:13,565 --> 00:24:17,526 in our car that I make payments on by sweating my ass off... 362 00:24:17,597 --> 00:24:20,531 so she can sweat her ass off inside it. 363 00:24:20,605 --> 00:24:22,460 Sorry. 364 00:24:22,525 --> 00:24:26,070 That car was rocking like an out-of-whack washing machine. 365 00:24:26,140 --> 00:24:28,693 - I went crazy. - Are you getting this down. Maria? 366 00:24:28,764 --> 00:24:31,382 - Yes. I am. Mr. Bergman. - Okay. 367 00:24:31,452 --> 00:24:34,485 I decided to kill her... 368 00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,247 but I couldn't. 369 00:24:37,691 --> 00:24:40,374 I love her. 370 00:24:40,443 --> 00:24:42,680 So I shaved her head. 371 00:24:42,747 --> 00:24:45,365 And now see if he wants her. 372 00:24:45,435 --> 00:24:48,784 That is why your wife is suing you for divorce. Mr. Dionne. 373 00:24:51,355 --> 00:24:52,980 Love is shit. 374 00:24:54,107 --> 00:24:55,732 Marriage is shit. 375 00:24:55,802 --> 00:24:58,421 You know. I'm sitting here listening to you editorialize... 376 00:24:58,491 --> 00:25:00,051 Fuck you. Moneybags. 377 00:25:18,649 --> 00:25:21,016 That's my favorite part. Here we go. 378 00:25:21,081 --> 00:25:22,837 All right. Remember... 379 00:25:22,905 --> 00:25:24,661 happy. Happy. Happy. 380 00:25:24,728 --> 00:25:26,550 No. No. We're doing the cha-cha here. 381 00:25:26,616 --> 00:25:28,656 - Sorry. - Remember. Ladies... 382 00:25:28,728 --> 00:25:31,827 it's okay to smile. especially at my jokes. 383 00:25:31,897 --> 00:25:33,936 Ready. And... 384 00:25:34,008 --> 00:25:36,823 cha-cha-cha. Swivel. Swivel... 385 00:25:36,888 --> 00:25:39,343 forward. Back. Forward. 386 00:25:39,416 --> 00:25:42,416 I can't even say it right. Hit him. Maggie. If he does that right. 387 00:25:42,487 --> 00:25:44,527 Let's do it again. Ready. And... 388 00:25:44,599 --> 00:25:47,349 cha-cha-cha. Swivel. Swivel... 389 00:25:47,415 --> 00:25:49,804 forward. Cross. Forward. 390 00:25:49,879 --> 00:25:52,181 Who's leading here? That's all right. You lead. 391 00:25:52,247 --> 00:25:54,483 You're doing a good job. I want these suspenders. 392 00:25:54,550 --> 00:25:58,031 Ready. And... cha-cha-cha. Swivel. Swivel... 393 00:25:58,103 --> 00:25:59,761 forward. Cross. Forward. 394 00:25:59,831 --> 00:26:02,962 Up. Six. Seven. Eight. 395 00:26:03,030 --> 00:26:04,753 And one... 396 00:26:10,261 --> 00:26:12,530 You're going to put me out of work. You're too good. 397 00:26:12,597 --> 00:26:15,379 One more time. Ready. And... 398 00:26:15,446 --> 00:26:18,642 Cha-cha-cha... Oh. My God. No. No. No. 399 00:26:18,709 --> 00:26:22,321 Let me show you one more time. One more time. Everybody. 400 00:26:24,277 --> 00:26:25,171 Mrs. Greenblatt. 401 00:26:36,115 --> 00:26:38,799 You look marvelous. 402 00:26:49,779 --> 00:26:52,299 Magnificent. A thing of beauty. 403 00:26:52,371 --> 00:26:53,931 Thank you. Thank you. 404 00:26:56,594 --> 00:26:59,016 Okay. That's it. Time's up. Everybody. 405 00:26:59,091 --> 00:27:02,320 Practice. Practice. Practice. Yes. Practice. Practice. Practice. 406 00:27:02,387 --> 00:27:06,096 Good-bye. Get out of here. You crazy guys. 407 00:27:06,162 --> 00:27:09,587 Thank you. Get new shoes. Those are not gonna work. 408 00:27:09,714 --> 00:27:12,332 Don't forget to bring your checks next week. 409 00:27:16,658 --> 00:27:18,763 You came for your free lesson. 410 00:27:19,922 --> 00:27:22,671 It's my lunch break. And I thought maybe we could talk. 411 00:27:28,113 --> 00:27:30,153 - Mexican? - It's too heavy. 412 00:27:30,225 --> 00:27:33,607 - I don't know how to say this... - Well. Words are good. 413 00:27:33,681 --> 00:27:35,885 They have fried octopus? 414 00:27:35,953 --> 00:27:37,862 No. I had that for breakfast. 415 00:27:40,016 --> 00:27:42,733 - This is difficult. - Oh. Come on. 416 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,582 It's only lunch. Burgers. 417 00:27:45,648 --> 00:27:47,950 No. Too obvious. 418 00:27:48,016 --> 00:27:51,179 Larry. I need to ask you something. 419 00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:56,966 Do I think that your husband and my wife slept together? 420 00:27:59,087 --> 00:28:01,421 Thank you. It would've taken me a lot longer. 421 00:28:02,798 --> 00:28:05,897 Well. I only have an hour for lunch. 422 00:28:05,967 --> 00:28:07,428 Spuds International. 423 00:28:07,502 --> 00:28:09,739 Everything you ever wanted on a potato and more. 424 00:28:09,807 --> 00:28:12,709 I think they have one with a Buick on it. 425 00:28:12,782 --> 00:28:15,400 Do you think they did? 426 00:28:15,469 --> 00:28:17,160 I don't know. 427 00:28:17,230 --> 00:28:19,434 Only they know. 428 00:28:19,502 --> 00:28:21,990 You don't seem to be upset about it. 429 00:28:22,061 --> 00:28:24,069 Sex isn't that big a deal anyway. 430 00:28:24,141 --> 00:28:27,011 Whether they had sex or not. something happened. 431 00:28:27,086 --> 00:28:30,282 Hey. I believe in people's freedom of choice. 432 00:28:30,349 --> 00:28:33,196 Tish needs to grow up to be her own person. That's me. 433 00:28:33,260 --> 00:28:34,951 What people do is their business. 434 00:28:35,021 --> 00:28:38,883 - That doesn't apply to marriage. - Sounds like you have a choice to make. 435 00:28:38,957 --> 00:28:41,542 And guess what? You're free to make it. 436 00:28:43,564 --> 00:28:45,735 This is great. We hardly know each other... 437 00:28:45,804 --> 00:28:48,357 and we're getting our first argument out of the way. 438 00:28:51,276 --> 00:28:53,926 Are you serious about that freedom stuff? 439 00:28:59,755 --> 00:29:03,071 No! Oh. God. I'm so full of shit! 440 00:29:03,147 --> 00:29:05,994 I'd like to kill them both! I'm sorry. 441 00:29:07,691 --> 00:29:09,665 - I'll pay for it. - It's my fault. 442 00:29:09,738 --> 00:29:12,967 I will pay for the fish. I broke the fish. 443 00:29:13,034 --> 00:29:15,270 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. 444 00:29:15,338 --> 00:29:17,346 How much? Never mind. 445 00:29:17,418 --> 00:29:19,076 Wait. Please. 446 00:29:19,146 --> 00:29:21,251 I'm very sorry. 447 00:29:25,449 --> 00:29:28,482 It wasn't easy to come see me today. Was it? 448 00:29:28,553 --> 00:29:30,375 Are you okay? 449 00:29:30,441 --> 00:29:32,929 No. I'm not okay. 450 00:29:33,001 --> 00:29:35,750 That's right. You don't cry. Do you? 451 00:29:37,353 --> 00:29:38,847 Or hit fish. 452 00:29:43,208 --> 00:29:46,078 You know. Tom lately has been really upset about work. 453 00:29:46,152 --> 00:29:48,869 They have these contests... who sells most cars... 454 00:29:48,936 --> 00:29:50,791 and he lost his trip to Las Vegas. 455 00:29:50,856 --> 00:29:53,474 That's a good reason to hump my wife. 456 00:29:53,543 --> 00:29:55,136 I'm sorry. 457 00:29:55,207 --> 00:29:57,312 Listen. Tish is a good person. 458 00:29:57,383 --> 00:29:59,968 She just wants to be appreciated for more than her looks. 459 00:30:00,039 --> 00:30:01,697 She's worried people think she's dumb. 460 00:30:01,767 --> 00:30:04,669 She's not dumb. Tom is very vulnerable to female flattery. 461 00:30:04,743 --> 00:30:06,532 Why do you keep making excuses for your husband? 462 00:30:06,599 --> 00:30:08,508 Because you're making excuses for your wife. 463 00:30:08,583 --> 00:30:10,208 All right. 464 00:30:10,278 --> 00:30:12,831 So. How did you two meet? 465 00:30:12,902 --> 00:30:14,724 We met in high school. 466 00:30:14,790 --> 00:30:17,027 He was an athlete. A big athlete... 467 00:30:17,094 --> 00:30:19,515 and he had a red car he was very proud of. 468 00:30:19,590 --> 00:30:21,477 Girls were crazy about him. 469 00:30:21,542 --> 00:30:23,963 I just came to this country. and I was very shy. 470 00:30:24,038 --> 00:30:26,209 I couldn't believe when he came and talked to me. 471 00:30:26,277 --> 00:30:28,644 He must have said something right to get you to marry him. 472 00:30:28,709 --> 00:30:32,025 No. I was the only girl who wouldn't go to sleep with him. 473 00:30:33,285 --> 00:30:34,911 What about you? 474 00:30:34,981 --> 00:30:37,763 I guess I thought Tish was gonna be different than my first wife. 475 00:30:37,829 --> 00:30:39,355 Surprise. You know. 476 00:30:39,428 --> 00:30:41,883 Turns out she's the bride of Bloomingdale's. 477 00:30:44,164 --> 00:30:47,131 So. What do you want to do? You want to confront them? 478 00:30:47,204 --> 00:30:49,276 They'll just deny it. 479 00:30:49,348 --> 00:30:51,901 We could shave their heads. 480 00:30:51,972 --> 00:30:53,914 What? 481 00:30:53,988 --> 00:30:56,126 I have to go back to work. I'm sorry. 482 00:30:56,195 --> 00:30:58,781 I'm sorry if I spoiled your day. 483 00:30:58,852 --> 00:31:01,634 It was nice not having lunch with you. 484 00:31:03,299 --> 00:31:05,055 Bye. 485 00:31:05,123 --> 00:31:06,945 Good-bye. Maria. 486 00:31:15,075 --> 00:31:17,627 Sweetheart. I'm going to put your flowers in the vase. 487 00:31:17,698 --> 00:31:19,553 You can do your homework. 488 00:31:21,474 --> 00:31:23,710 What's in the box. Daddy? 489 00:31:23,777 --> 00:31:25,435 What's this? 490 00:31:25,505 --> 00:31:26,934 Open it. 491 00:31:28,449 --> 00:31:32,126 And tonight I'm going to make my world-famous garlic chicken Pamplona. 492 00:31:34,369 --> 00:31:37,119 Not only that. I'm going to clean up after I use every pot in the house. 493 00:31:37,185 --> 00:31:38,810 I promise. 494 00:31:40,192 --> 00:31:41,501 This is beautiful. 495 00:31:43,713 --> 00:31:45,305 What's the occasion? 496 00:31:45,376 --> 00:31:47,864 Nothing. Just us. 497 00:31:49,344 --> 00:31:53,272 All of us together. Just one of those nights. 498 00:31:53,344 --> 00:31:55,831 It's nice to have a family. 499 00:32:02,047 --> 00:32:04,982 So. How was your day? 500 00:32:05,055 --> 00:32:08,316 Fine. I had lunch with Larry Kozinski. 501 00:32:10,206 --> 00:32:11,635 - Who? - Larry Kozinski. 502 00:32:11,711 --> 00:32:15,191 I had lunch with him today. Sweetheart. Don't wrinkle it. 503 00:32:15,262 --> 00:32:18,229 Why? What for? 504 00:32:19,901 --> 00:32:23,098 - What did you talk about? - Nothing special. 505 00:32:24,638 --> 00:32:27,834 - Was it a nice lunch? - Mm-hmm. Very nice. 506 00:32:29,182 --> 00:32:31,036 Well. That's fine. 507 00:32:31,101 --> 00:32:33,622 That's good. That's okay. 508 00:32:33,693 --> 00:32:35,864 I'm glad you had a nice day. 509 00:32:35,933 --> 00:32:39,162 Good old Larry. Lunch. 510 00:32:39,229 --> 00:32:41,530 Nice. 511 00:32:41,596 --> 00:32:44,214 Mitchie is... What is it you are again. Mitchie? 512 00:32:44,284 --> 00:32:46,651 I'm a multimedia artist... 513 00:32:46,716 --> 00:32:49,586 but my emphasis is on video. 514 00:32:49,660 --> 00:32:51,514 I'm so excited. 515 00:33:33,529 --> 00:33:34,805 That's her. 516 00:34:10,391 --> 00:34:11,820 You're a goddamn liar! 517 00:34:17,910 --> 00:34:21,587 Cut! Cut! Lights! 518 00:34:25,205 --> 00:34:26,220 Thank you. 519 00:34:28,949 --> 00:34:31,338 How about lunch? 520 00:34:35,317 --> 00:34:38,546 You are a very sick young man. 521 00:34:38,613 --> 00:34:42,028 Alienation. Great. 522 00:34:42,101 --> 00:34:44,043 Interesting work. Mitch. 523 00:34:44,116 --> 00:34:45,578 Thanks. Dad. 524 00:34:45,653 --> 00:34:48,948 What the hell are you doing taking my wife out to lunch? 525 00:34:49,012 --> 00:34:51,827 Actually. We didn't have lunch. 526 00:34:51,892 --> 00:34:53,964 We went for a walk. but my feet broke down... 527 00:34:54,036 --> 00:34:56,175 so we were a little late getting back. 528 00:35:01,843 --> 00:35:03,818 They know. 529 00:35:03,892 --> 00:35:05,615 They know about us. 530 00:35:19,730 --> 00:35:23,374 You work in garbage all week. enjoy nature on the weekends. 531 00:35:30,162 --> 00:35:32,234 Tell me about Larry. 532 00:35:34,833 --> 00:35:37,484 I've asked him a million times to come into the business... 533 00:35:37,553 --> 00:35:41,611 but he wants to change jobs. Dance. 534 00:35:41,681 --> 00:35:44,201 Me. I say this with love. Maria. 535 00:35:44,272 --> 00:35:47,403 Larry is a failure in everything except life. 536 00:35:47,472 --> 00:35:49,676 Come! Dance with me! Yes! 537 00:35:57,584 --> 00:35:59,755 - Follow me. - No. You go. 538 00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:01,679 We're gonna miss you. 539 00:36:04,431 --> 00:36:07,246 Phil. Do you want some cake? Phil? 540 00:36:14,542 --> 00:36:15,687 Come on. Come on! 541 00:36:20,398 --> 00:36:21,674 Something's wrong. 542 00:36:21,742 --> 00:36:24,328 One shot. Man! That's all it'll take... one shot! 543 00:36:24,398 --> 00:36:26,885 - I'm right here! - I won't have it in my house! 544 00:36:26,957 --> 00:36:27,906 Stop. Stop. 545 00:36:27,981 --> 00:36:30,632 Stop it. Stop it. 546 00:36:30,701 --> 00:36:32,195 Mama. 547 00:36:48,812 --> 00:36:50,667 Don't leave me! 548 00:37:09,323 --> 00:37:13,185 "So that even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death... 549 00:37:13,259 --> 00:37:15,462 I fear no evil. for Thou art with me. 550 00:37:15,531 --> 00:37:18,149 Thy rod and thy staff. they comfort me. 551 00:37:18,219 --> 00:37:21,601 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. 552 00:37:21,674 --> 00:37:23,332 My cup overflows. 553 00:37:23,402 --> 00:37:26,184 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me... 554 00:37:26,250 --> 00:37:27,908 all the days of my life... 555 00:37:27,978 --> 00:37:31,523 and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever." 556 00:37:31,593 --> 00:37:34,408 Let us pray. 557 00:37:34,473 --> 00:37:36,612 "O. God. Whose days are without an end... 558 00:37:36,681 --> 00:37:38,721 Give me back my 50 cents. 559 00:37:38,793 --> 00:37:41,411 - Drive me around this damn town... - Keep your dime. Sport. 560 00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:43,171 just to run up your fare. 561 00:37:43,241 --> 00:37:45,543 What do you think I am. Huh? 562 00:37:45,609 --> 00:37:47,616 A goddamn tourist? 563 00:37:47,689 --> 00:37:48,899 Cheapskate. 564 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,171 Pop. You were supposed to call me. 565 00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:58,687 For what? A ride on that motorcycle of yours? 566 00:37:58,759 --> 00:38:00,766 Good to see you. Son. 567 00:38:00,839 --> 00:38:03,174 - Good God. Is this Mitchell? - How you doing. Grandpa? 568 00:38:03,240 --> 00:38:05,606 I'll be damned. 569 00:38:05,672 --> 00:38:07,973 You're getting to be a big man. Aren't you? 570 00:38:09,191 --> 00:38:11,711 - Let's go. - No. You go ahead. 571 00:38:11,783 --> 00:38:14,117 No. I'll wait right here. 572 00:38:14,183 --> 00:38:17,892 At my age. You don't want to get too close to an open grave. 573 00:38:17,958 --> 00:38:20,097 - Stay with him. Will you? - Sure. 574 00:38:22,118 --> 00:38:26,341 So. Grandpa. How come you didn't come to the church? 575 00:38:26,406 --> 00:38:29,123 God makes me nervous when you get Him indoors. 576 00:38:29,190 --> 00:38:31,840 Besides. I don't like to see people in their coffins. 577 00:38:31,909 --> 00:38:34,691 They always look so much smaller without their spirits. 578 00:38:44,037 --> 00:38:47,332 I was going to bring you a gift. but I forgot. 579 00:38:50,693 --> 00:38:53,027 Think you might like one of these. Huh? 580 00:38:53,092 --> 00:38:54,466 Which one you want? 581 00:38:54,533 --> 00:38:58,078 Hot Patty's Pajama Party or Girls with Big Jugs? 582 00:39:02,371 --> 00:39:04,859 Eat. There's casseroles. Cakes. 583 00:39:04,932 --> 00:39:08,860 I'll have turkey tetrazzini coming out the wazoo. 584 00:39:08,932 --> 00:39:11,103 Everyone loved him so. 585 00:39:11,171 --> 00:39:13,789 Did you see the wreath the boys from the junkyard sent? 586 00:39:15,491 --> 00:39:17,979 Larry! Was it me? Was I too much for him? 587 00:39:18,051 --> 00:39:19,033 No. Edie. 588 00:39:19,106 --> 00:39:21,441 He was the happiest he'd ever been with you. 589 00:39:21,507 --> 00:39:24,354 - I want you to meet my father. Vincent. - My sympathies. 590 00:39:24,418 --> 00:39:27,549 I'm sorry I missed your wedding. My hernia prevented it. 591 00:39:28,898 --> 00:39:32,280 Edie. I'm sorry. I have to go to work. 592 00:39:32,354 --> 00:39:34,775 We are still family even though Phil is gone. 593 00:39:34,850 --> 00:39:37,403 So don't be a stranger. Hmm? 594 00:39:37,474 --> 00:39:39,164 I won't. I promise. 595 00:39:39,905 --> 00:39:42,108 See you later. Bye. Pops. 596 00:39:42,177 --> 00:39:44,064 Nobody takes a day off when a man dies anymore? 597 00:39:44,129 --> 00:39:45,656 Jesus. 598 00:39:47,904 --> 00:39:51,253 You know. Funerals make women really horny. 599 00:39:51,328 --> 00:39:55,354 I never knew Phil all that well. but this is great turkey tetrazzini. 600 00:39:55,424 --> 00:39:57,246 Here. Mommy. 601 00:39:57,312 --> 00:39:59,101 Oh. Thank you. 602 00:39:59,168 --> 00:40:01,022 Look. I got to go show a car. 603 00:40:01,088 --> 00:40:03,738 As long as Chloe's going to stay overnight here... 604 00:40:03,807 --> 00:40:06,524 why don't you meet me about 7:30 and we'll go out to eat? 605 00:40:06,591 --> 00:40:08,533 If Mama doesn't need me. 606 00:40:10,911 --> 00:40:14,075 If your mom doesn't need you. Maybe you can meet me at the showroom. 607 00:40:14,143 --> 00:40:17,143 If Mama doesn't need me. I'll be there at 7:30. 608 00:40:23,199 --> 00:40:25,916 Beauty and the beast. 609 00:40:25,982 --> 00:40:28,437 I'm never going to get married. 610 00:40:28,510 --> 00:40:31,095 You wait. You'll see. You'll get married. Have kids... 611 00:40:31,166 --> 00:40:32,857 have a happy life. 612 00:40:32,926 --> 00:40:35,675 Don't eat too much butter though. 613 00:40:35,741 --> 00:40:37,399 You know what I'd really like to do? 614 00:40:37,469 --> 00:40:39,836 - What? - Kill someone. 615 00:40:39,901 --> 00:40:42,290 Calmly plan a murder. 616 00:40:42,365 --> 00:40:45,943 Choose the victim... maybe even someone political... 617 00:40:46,013 --> 00:40:48,282 so I could do the world some good. You know. 618 00:40:48,349 --> 00:40:51,415 I'd have to think about it first for a few years. 619 00:40:51,485 --> 00:40:53,906 Hey. It can't be any dumber than getting married... 620 00:40:53,980 --> 00:40:55,736 and going to work every day. 621 00:40:55,804 --> 00:40:57,909 I mean. It must be more fun. 622 00:41:01,660 --> 00:41:05,140 Mr. Z... I'm going to be a little late getting back. 623 00:41:06,811 --> 00:41:08,666 It's hard to rush a funeral. 624 00:41:09,915 --> 00:41:12,152 As soon as I can. 625 00:41:16,347 --> 00:41:18,551 - What took you so long? - Just get in the car. 626 00:41:18,619 --> 00:41:21,717 I think you forgot to say please. 627 00:41:21,787 --> 00:41:23,696 Just get in the car. Will you? 628 00:41:24,922 --> 00:41:26,897 Oh. You're so manly. 629 00:41:32,410 --> 00:41:35,159 There. There's my wife. 630 00:41:37,146 --> 00:41:39,000 We were married for 35 years... 631 00:41:39,065 --> 00:41:41,334 and she never once raised her voice to me. 632 00:41:44,377 --> 00:41:48,206 So then you know what it's like to lose someone? 633 00:41:48,281 --> 00:41:50,354 She went into the hospital to have a boil removed... 634 00:41:50,425 --> 00:41:51,853 and never came out. 635 00:41:51,928 --> 00:41:54,448 I moved upstate. bought some gas stations. 636 00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,244 I do quite well... 637 00:41:56,313 --> 00:42:00,022 but I've had to learn to live with loneliness. 638 00:42:00,088 --> 00:42:04,114 Life is that way. Who can explain it? 639 00:42:04,184 --> 00:42:07,828 I thought Phil and I would share the rest of our lives together. 640 00:42:08,855 --> 00:42:13,132 Now. All I have left is his share of the garbage company. 641 00:42:13,207 --> 00:42:16,851 What am I going to do with a garbage company? 642 00:42:16,919 --> 00:42:19,636 I don't know anything about business. 643 00:42:22,134 --> 00:42:25,003 Perhaps you would be interested in buying me out? 644 00:42:27,542 --> 00:42:29,745 Well. Maybe I could give you something... 645 00:42:29,814 --> 00:42:32,202 for your part of the business. 646 00:42:32,278 --> 00:42:34,165 Something? 647 00:42:34,230 --> 00:42:37,426 What neighborhood of something would we be talking about? 648 00:42:44,661 --> 00:42:47,149 - You'll be all right? - Bye. Mom. 649 00:42:47,221 --> 00:42:49,490 See you in the city. Son. I'm taking Mitchie with me. 650 00:42:49,557 --> 00:42:51,946 I don't think riding on that thing is good for his gonads. 651 00:42:52,021 --> 00:42:54,835 - My sympathies. Maria. - Bye. 652 00:42:56,468 --> 00:42:58,257 Good-bye. Larry. Thank you. 653 00:42:58,324 --> 00:43:00,626 - Bye-bye. - Are you coming with us. Maria? 654 00:43:20,562 --> 00:43:23,660 Why are we here? I thought you were taking me home. 655 00:43:23,729 --> 00:43:26,479 - Do you want to go home? I'll take you. - No. That's all right. 656 00:43:26,546 --> 00:43:28,368 I just wondered. 657 00:43:28,433 --> 00:43:30,604 What were you singing? 658 00:43:30,673 --> 00:43:32,364 I wasn't singing. 659 00:43:32,433 --> 00:43:35,815 You just didn't think I could hear you over the engine. But I could. 660 00:43:35,889 --> 00:43:38,988 You don't cry at weddings. but you sing at funerals. 661 00:43:39,057 --> 00:43:41,228 You told me you weren't an interesting person. 662 00:43:41,297 --> 00:43:43,980 - I'm not. - Come on. What were you singing? 663 00:43:45,649 --> 00:43:48,169 I don't sing for people. It's private. 664 00:43:48,240 --> 00:43:50,858 Oh. Well. Hum a few bars then. 665 00:43:55,407 --> 00:43:57,262 What song is that? 666 00:44:00,559 --> 00:44:03,209 Boy. I still have no idea. 667 00:44:03,279 --> 00:44:05,352 It's a Beatles song. Come on. Guess. 668 00:44:05,423 --> 00:44:07,910 I hate to break this to you. but that tune has no resemblance... 669 00:44:07,983 --> 00:44:10,601 to any song the Beatles ever recorded. 670 00:44:10,670 --> 00:44:12,612 It's "The Long and Winding Road." 671 00:44:12,686 --> 00:44:14,791 Oh. No. No. that goes more like... 672 00:44:18,926 --> 00:44:21,414 You're worse than I am. 673 00:44:21,486 --> 00:44:24,715 - Are you going to push me off? - I thought you trusted me. 674 00:44:24,782 --> 00:44:26,669 Here. Hold on to my shoulders. Ready? 675 00:44:26,733 --> 00:44:28,806 Push against me. 676 00:44:28,877 --> 00:44:30,470 Whoa! Isn't that exciting? 677 00:44:30,541 --> 00:44:31,970 I guess so. 678 00:44:34,477 --> 00:44:36,200 Come here. 679 00:44:40,205 --> 00:44:42,409 - My boat. - It's great. 680 00:44:42,477 --> 00:44:45,160 - I mean. It could be great. - She could be great. 681 00:44:45,228 --> 00:44:47,617 You always refer to a boat as a female. 682 00:44:47,693 --> 00:44:48,740 Why? 683 00:44:48,812 --> 00:44:51,146 I guess if you're some sweaty sailor out at sea for a year... 684 00:44:51,212 --> 00:44:53,895 you need to use your imagination. 685 00:44:53,963 --> 00:44:57,029 What are you going to do with she? 686 00:44:57,099 --> 00:45:01,768 I'm going to fix her up and sail off into the sunset. 687 00:45:01,836 --> 00:45:04,170 You have a rich fantasy life. don't you? 688 00:45:06,091 --> 00:45:08,262 Don't you? Don't you have fantasies? 689 00:45:08,331 --> 00:45:10,305 I do. But they're private. 690 00:45:10,379 --> 00:45:12,234 I don't tell them to anybody. 691 00:45:12,299 --> 00:45:16,227 - Not even a dance teacher? - You're not just a dance teacher. 692 00:45:16,298 --> 00:45:18,207 I can't figure out what you are. 693 00:45:18,282 --> 00:45:20,518 Hey. Isn't that what everybody wants... 694 00:45:20,587 --> 00:45:22,758 a smooth-sailing life? 695 00:45:22,826 --> 00:45:24,680 You can achieve that for a minute... 696 00:45:24,746 --> 00:45:26,851 out on the dance floor or the water. 697 00:45:29,033 --> 00:45:30,888 Look how lovely. 698 00:45:35,049 --> 00:45:38,344 - That one would look great on you. - Tom hates me in hats. 699 00:45:38,409 --> 00:45:39,936 Then I'll buy it for you. 700 00:45:43,432 --> 00:45:47,207 But the look on Tom's face... 701 00:45:47,272 --> 00:45:49,989 We'll take that one right there. 702 00:45:50,056 --> 00:45:53,220 What does your wife hate you to wear? 703 00:45:53,288 --> 00:45:56,222 Boxer shorts. She doesn't think they're sexy. 704 00:45:56,296 --> 00:45:58,151 Oh. I think they're very sexy. 705 00:45:59,976 --> 00:46:01,950 We're gonna be bad. We're gonna be so bad. 706 00:46:07,943 --> 00:46:11,009 Hey. I got him. He's gonna buy a 325 loaded. 707 00:46:11,079 --> 00:46:14,242 Chrome wheels. Tinted glass. alarm. Phone. Wool carpets. 708 00:46:14,310 --> 00:46:18,238 Two more Beamers and l... I win your trip to Vegas. 709 00:46:19,206 --> 00:46:23,035 - I don't even like the color. - Just sit in it. 710 00:46:23,110 --> 00:46:24,965 I don't like it. 711 00:46:36,293 --> 00:46:38,268 Listen... 712 00:46:38,341 --> 00:46:42,367 the beauty of the Subaru is that it is so cost-efficient... 713 00:46:42,436 --> 00:46:45,403 that I bet a woman like you could talk him into one for him... 714 00:46:45,476 --> 00:46:46,818 and then one for yourself. 715 00:46:47,972 --> 00:46:49,696 Do this. 716 00:46:49,764 --> 00:46:52,731 Let me take you for a test drive in that little blue wagon. 717 00:47:13,635 --> 00:47:15,522 Look this way. Now see there? 718 00:47:15,586 --> 00:47:17,691 Want to go up further that way? 719 00:47:17,762 --> 00:47:19,933 - This way? - Yeah. That's good. 720 00:47:20,002 --> 00:47:22,206 You're really doing that well. 721 00:47:22,274 --> 00:47:24,696 I need to talk to you. 722 00:47:24,770 --> 00:47:26,297 I'm with a customer... 723 00:47:26,370 --> 00:47:29,337 but if you're interested in a makeover. you'll have to wait your turn. 724 00:47:29,410 --> 00:47:31,068 Now. I want you to try the dusty rose. 725 00:47:31,138 --> 00:47:33,472 - This is important. - So is my career. 726 00:47:33,537 --> 00:47:35,130 Line right there. 727 00:47:35,201 --> 00:47:37,852 I'm with a customer. 728 00:47:40,673 --> 00:47:42,429 - Now that. That works. - Yeah? 729 00:47:42,497 --> 00:47:44,733 Yeah. That definitely works. 730 00:47:44,801 --> 00:47:47,768 Your husband is having an affair with my wife. 731 00:47:50,112 --> 00:47:52,862 You are insane. 732 00:47:52,928 --> 00:47:55,797 If I had any idea how insane you were... 733 00:47:55,872 --> 00:47:58,108 I would never have let you start up with me. 734 00:47:58,976 --> 00:48:00,951 What? You seduced me! 735 00:48:03,807 --> 00:48:06,709 I'm sorry. I'll be right back. 736 00:48:06,783 --> 00:48:08,670 Take your time. Honey. 737 00:48:12,703 --> 00:48:15,605 Your opinion of Larry is a tribute... 738 00:48:15,679 --> 00:48:18,297 to your insensitivity to other human beings. 739 00:48:18,367 --> 00:48:22,043 Larry would never have sex with someone like your wife. 740 00:48:22,111 --> 00:48:26,747 I'm not worried about sex. I'm worried about them having a relationship. 741 00:48:26,814 --> 00:48:28,636 You've ruined my life. 742 00:48:28,702 --> 00:48:31,287 And you are jeopardizing my new job here... 743 00:48:31,358 --> 00:48:34,205 as assistant manager of this department... 744 00:48:34,269 --> 00:48:38,459 so if you'd like a private consultation. please call for an appointment. 745 00:48:38,525 --> 00:48:41,754 And if you ever come here and upset me again... 746 00:48:41,820 --> 00:48:45,682 I will have the security guards throw you out of the store. 747 00:48:48,412 --> 00:48:51,925 - Now. Where were we? - Making the lips fuller. 748 00:48:51,996 --> 00:48:54,451 So I burned her underwear. So what? I'll buy her more. 749 00:48:54,524 --> 00:48:56,182 He's sick. He's a beast. 750 00:48:56,252 --> 00:48:58,674 How am I supposed to go anywhere looking like this? 751 00:48:58,747 --> 00:49:00,722 In some countries. bald is considered attractive. 752 00:49:00,796 --> 00:49:03,829 - I didn't marry you for looks anyway. - I want a divorce. 753 00:49:03,899 --> 00:49:07,095 Her and that lowlife appliance salesman aren't getting a dime. 754 00:49:07,163 --> 00:49:11,091 Excuse me. I'm sorry. Folks. but we're very late. 755 00:49:11,163 --> 00:49:13,781 I had no idea your job was so dangerous. 756 00:49:13,851 --> 00:49:14,964 Why are we running? 757 00:49:15,035 --> 00:49:17,555 - How about lunch? - I'm not hungry. 758 00:49:17,627 --> 00:49:19,569 Good. 759 00:49:25,914 --> 00:49:29,111 - Fish must be so happy. - They must be. 760 00:49:29,178 --> 00:49:32,439 They have mating rituals like Italian operas. 761 00:49:32,505 --> 00:49:35,320 I hate to leave. This was such a great idea. 762 00:49:35,385 --> 00:49:38,254 Let's call in sick. Maggie can take my classes. 763 00:49:38,329 --> 00:49:40,598 - I can't call in sick. - Then call in well. 764 00:49:40,665 --> 00:49:42,575 Tell your boss it's too beautiful a day... 765 00:49:42,649 --> 00:49:44,504 to take notes on other people's problems. 766 00:49:44,569 --> 00:49:47,057 I'll call for you. You want me to? 767 00:49:47,129 --> 00:49:49,038 No. I'll call for myself. 768 00:49:53,176 --> 00:49:55,445 If the lake were to swallow me up right now... 769 00:49:55,512 --> 00:49:58,065 I would die a happy man. 770 00:49:59,192 --> 00:50:02,006 It has been a long time since I have been this happy too. 771 00:50:03,768 --> 00:50:05,426 Is it just me... 772 00:50:05,495 --> 00:50:08,594 or do you also have this uncontrollable desire... 773 00:50:08,664 --> 00:50:10,518 to put our lips together? 774 00:50:14,167 --> 00:50:15,793 We can't. 775 00:50:15,863 --> 00:50:18,099 You're right. We can't. 776 00:50:19,286 --> 00:50:20,977 Why can't we? 777 00:50:23,415 --> 00:50:25,967 Have you ever cheated on Tish? 778 00:50:26,038 --> 00:50:27,948 Once... 779 00:50:28,022 --> 00:50:29,647 in Monopoly. 780 00:50:29,718 --> 00:50:32,751 I stole all her good properties while she was doing her nails. 781 00:50:33,781 --> 00:50:36,650 - How about you? - A Catholic schoolgirl? 782 00:50:36,725 --> 00:50:38,219 - Yeah. - No. 783 00:50:40,373 --> 00:50:41,900 So what will happen to us? 784 00:50:43,381 --> 00:50:46,697 Well. We could be lovers or we could be friends. 785 00:50:46,772 --> 00:50:49,194 We are friends. 786 00:50:49,269 --> 00:50:50,479 If we are lovers... 787 00:50:50,549 --> 00:50:52,654 we have to lie. 788 00:50:52,725 --> 00:50:54,350 I don't think I can do that. 789 00:50:54,420 --> 00:50:57,290 Yeah. Me either. 790 00:50:57,364 --> 00:51:00,331 Could we make love once and then never see each other again? 791 00:51:07,539 --> 00:51:08,913 Friends then. 792 00:51:08,979 --> 00:51:11,947 Very special friends. 793 00:51:12,019 --> 00:51:14,474 Tom and Tish will be insane with jealousy. 794 00:51:14,547 --> 00:51:17,297 So what? Who cares? We're gonna be innocent. 795 00:51:18,867 --> 00:51:21,233 We'll be this great couple. Years from now... 796 00:51:21,299 --> 00:51:23,535 we'll be in the Guinness Book of Records. 797 00:51:23,602 --> 00:51:27,377 "Twenty years." people will say. "and they never had sex." 798 00:51:27,442 --> 00:51:29,831 "You're kidding me." "No. It's true." 799 00:51:30,866 --> 00:51:34,957 And all those years. I'll be dreaming of kissing you. 800 00:51:35,985 --> 00:51:38,855 With tongue or without? 801 00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:41,777 How about just one? 802 00:51:41,841 --> 00:51:44,710 Friends. Remember. 803 00:51:44,785 --> 00:51:47,086 What do you do on the weekend? 804 00:51:47,153 --> 00:51:49,935 I spend as much time as I can with Chloe. 805 00:51:50,001 --> 00:51:52,139 Tom loves to go to restaurants he cannot afford... 806 00:51:52,208 --> 00:51:55,339 then complains all through dinner. 807 00:51:55,408 --> 00:51:56,870 - Bye. - Bye. 808 00:52:00,175 --> 00:52:02,030 Let's pretend to meet at a restaurant. 809 00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:08,775 - Saturday night? - I'll bring my father. 810 00:52:11,343 --> 00:52:13,197 Mario's. 9:00. 811 00:52:16,590 --> 00:52:18,052 Did you let it breathe? 812 00:52:18,127 --> 00:52:20,396 Sir. I personally gave it mouth-to-mouth. 813 00:52:26,350 --> 00:52:28,324 Excellent. 814 00:52:28,397 --> 00:52:30,186 Does anyone ever send it back? 815 00:52:30,254 --> 00:52:32,109 Not the house wine. Sir. 816 00:52:42,573 --> 00:52:44,744 Look who's here. 817 00:52:44,812 --> 00:52:47,365 Hey. Iook who's here. What a coincidence. 818 00:52:47,437 --> 00:52:48,614 Hi. 819 00:52:48,684 --> 00:52:52,067 - Come join us. - Yes. By all means. 820 00:52:52,140 --> 00:52:54,506 Really? What do you think? That'd be fun. 821 00:52:54,572 --> 00:52:56,001 What do you say? That would be great. 822 00:52:59,531 --> 00:53:01,866 I've always wanted to come here. 823 00:53:01,932 --> 00:53:04,037 Are those children's portions? 824 00:53:04,108 --> 00:53:06,213 The flowers are bigger than the food. 825 00:53:06,284 --> 00:53:07,974 Can we get more wine. Please? 826 00:53:08,043 --> 00:53:12,418 Look at all these self-satisfied pigs stuffing themselves. 827 00:53:12,491 --> 00:53:13,473 People are starving. 828 00:53:14,474 --> 00:53:17,441 I wish someone with an Uzi would walk in here... 829 00:53:17,514 --> 00:53:19,456 and take all this jewelry everyone's showing off. 830 00:53:19,530 --> 00:53:22,377 They're just symbols of a sick society. 831 00:53:22,442 --> 00:53:24,963 Hey. I started out pumping gas when I was your age. 832 00:53:25,034 --> 00:53:26,888 Now I own my own string of stations. 833 00:53:26,953 --> 00:53:29,375 That could only happen in this society. 834 00:53:29,450 --> 00:53:31,588 Please make them stop. Larry. 835 00:53:31,657 --> 00:53:34,407 I think everybody's entitled to their opinion. Don't you. Edie? 836 00:53:34,474 --> 00:53:36,743 Oh. Yes. As long as they agree with mine. 837 00:53:44,041 --> 00:53:45,928 So how do you like this wine. Vince? 838 00:53:45,993 --> 00:53:49,222 I'd rather have a case of the clap than a case of this wine. 839 00:53:49,288 --> 00:53:50,881 Pop... 840 00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:56,993 - See these prices here? - I think Phil would've wanted you... 841 00:53:57,063 --> 00:53:59,202 to take us all to dinner. 842 00:53:59,272 --> 00:54:02,338 I think Phil would have wanted you and me to split it. 843 00:54:05,511 --> 00:54:07,202 - To Phil. - Yeah. 844 00:54:07,271 --> 00:54:08,864 - To Phil. - To Phil. 845 00:54:18,055 --> 00:54:19,364 Excuse me. 846 00:54:21,638 --> 00:54:23,907 - What's wrong with her? - I don't know. 847 00:54:23,974 --> 00:54:27,967 - She went to the ladies' room. I'll go. - No. Mama. I'll go. 848 00:54:41,572 --> 00:54:43,645 - Open up. - Go away. 849 00:54:43,717 --> 00:54:45,724 Come on. Let me in. 850 00:54:45,797 --> 00:54:48,066 Please. Leave me alone. 851 00:54:53,572 --> 00:54:56,867 You bought him those terrible boxer shorts. Didn't you? 852 00:54:56,931 --> 00:55:00,314 I didn't mean anything by it. It was just a joke. 853 00:55:01,476 --> 00:55:04,575 Tom said you were having an affair. but I didn't believe him... 854 00:55:04,644 --> 00:55:07,327 until I saw the way you looked at each other. 855 00:55:08,611 --> 00:55:10,683 We're not having an affair. 856 00:55:10,755 --> 00:55:14,017 We have been playing a little game to get back at you and Tom. 857 00:55:15,011 --> 00:55:18,306 It's just gone too far. I'm sorry. 858 00:55:18,370 --> 00:55:21,185 She's so nice. 859 00:55:21,250 --> 00:55:23,160 She's so nice. 860 00:55:29,026 --> 00:55:31,481 - Go get us some ice cream. - But I don't want to miss anything. 861 00:55:31,553 --> 00:55:34,106 - Ice cream! - Please get us some ice cream. Mitch. 862 00:55:34,177 --> 00:55:35,322 Don't talk to him like that. 863 00:55:39,713 --> 00:55:41,240 Tish. Wait a minute. 864 00:55:41,313 --> 00:55:43,582 - Son? - What? 865 00:55:43,649 --> 00:55:46,234 - Are you bedding that woman? - Tish? 866 00:55:46,304 --> 00:55:49,119 I hope you're bedding your own wife. No. The other one. Maria. 867 00:55:49,184 --> 00:55:51,802 - No. Pop. I'm not. - You sure as hell act like it. 868 00:55:51,872 --> 00:55:54,971 - Both of you. - Well. I'm not. We're just friends. 869 00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:56,949 Well. Then. get your house in order. 870 00:55:57,024 --> 00:55:59,577 Pop. If you don't stop bossing people around... 871 00:55:59,648 --> 00:56:02,233 You know that tall building over there? It's called the Hilton. 872 00:56:05,503 --> 00:56:08,602 Tish. Come on. Sweetheart. 873 00:56:08,672 --> 00:56:11,639 Tish. Come on. You're making a big deal out of nothing. 874 00:56:11,711 --> 00:56:14,045 Tish. Open up. 875 00:56:14,111 --> 00:56:15,998 Come on. Sweetheart. 876 00:56:16,063 --> 00:56:18,932 You're not doing anything stupid in there. Are you? 877 00:56:24,766 --> 00:56:27,133 We haven't seen this outfit for a while. Have we? 878 00:56:29,246 --> 00:56:31,864 You're sure you don't want to talk about this. Huh? 879 00:56:31,934 --> 00:56:33,046 Guess not. 880 00:56:35,165 --> 00:56:37,107 Phil? Oh. God. 881 00:56:37,181 --> 00:56:39,515 What's happening? 882 00:56:42,013 --> 00:56:43,802 What? 883 00:56:43,869 --> 00:56:46,138 Oh. Great. You think I'm too young to talk about sex? 884 00:56:46,205 --> 00:56:48,823 Is that it? You know. I've had sex. 885 00:56:48,892 --> 00:56:51,575 - Yeah. Sure you have. - I have. 886 00:56:51,644 --> 00:56:54,099 She was 300 pounds. 887 00:56:54,172 --> 00:56:58,907 When I was on top of her. I was so high my arms and legs didn't touch the bed. 888 00:56:58,972 --> 00:57:01,721 And when she breathed. I flew up and down like I was on a trampoline. 889 00:57:03,836 --> 00:57:06,356 Why the hell do you make up all this nonsense? 890 00:57:06,427 --> 00:57:09,427 I'm a multimedia artist. That's what I do... make up nonsense. 891 00:57:15,067 --> 00:57:16,822 Do you still have sex? 892 00:57:16,891 --> 00:57:19,443 Rarely. 893 00:57:19,514 --> 00:57:22,809 - Do you miss it? - Yeah. Oh. God. 894 00:57:22,875 --> 00:57:24,401 Then why don't you have it? 895 00:57:27,387 --> 00:57:29,842 I've just been thinking the same thing. 896 00:57:44,921 --> 00:57:46,579 Smile. 897 00:57:46,649 --> 00:57:47,576 Good. 898 00:57:47,641 --> 00:57:51,864 Welcome to Weddingland. And which joyous event will you be attending? 899 00:57:54,072 --> 00:57:57,585 The Crystal Gazebo. A right. Then a left. 900 00:57:57,656 --> 00:57:59,827 Dusty. Will you take them? 901 00:58:04,312 --> 00:58:05,741 The Pink Rose Chapel. 902 00:58:05,816 --> 00:58:07,987 Isn't it romantic 903 00:58:08,056 --> 00:58:11,471 Music in the night A dream that can be heard 904 00:58:11,544 --> 00:58:13,845 Isn't it romantic 905 00:58:13,911 --> 00:58:17,773 Morning shadows write the oldest magic word 906 00:58:17,847 --> 00:58:19,374 Give me a kiss. 907 00:58:24,662 --> 00:58:27,117 Let me see the gut. Let me see the gut. 908 00:58:27,190 --> 00:58:29,711 No X-rated pictures. you bad boy. 909 00:58:29,782 --> 00:58:32,717 Weddings are joyful occasions. 910 00:58:32,790 --> 00:58:35,986 - They're pagan rituals. - He's got it under control. 911 00:58:36,053 --> 00:58:38,060 - Dad. I had the shot. - I know. 912 00:58:39,893 --> 00:58:41,933 How are you? 913 00:58:42,006 --> 00:58:44,111 Is that a dress you wear to a wedding? 914 00:58:44,182 --> 00:58:46,353 I made it. My own design. 915 00:58:46,421 --> 00:58:48,014 - See you later. - Bye. 916 00:58:49,045 --> 00:58:51,597 That's a dress you wear to a hooker's wedding. 917 00:58:51,668 --> 00:58:54,483 - Good to see you again. Edie. - Hi. Vince. 918 00:58:54,548 --> 00:58:56,075 How do you do? 919 00:59:27,123 --> 00:59:28,432 Mr. D... how are you? 920 00:59:41,041 --> 00:59:42,765 A time for love 921 00:59:50,897 --> 00:59:53,035 It's too loud. 922 00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:58,121 That is a beautiful dress. 923 00:59:59,057 --> 01:00:02,220 - Here's looking at you. Kid. - Weddings really turn me on. 924 01:00:06,512 --> 01:00:09,326 Music going all the time. Fantastic. 925 01:00:09,392 --> 01:00:10,602 I can't live without music. 926 01:00:10,672 --> 01:00:12,908 Look at her. 927 01:00:12,975 --> 01:00:16,204 Look at her. It's not enough she killed the first one. 928 01:00:16,271 --> 01:00:19,751 Now she's out to kill the brother too. 929 01:00:19,823 --> 01:00:21,928 The kiss of death. 930 01:00:23,791 --> 01:00:26,376 You're a sight for sore eyes. You know that. Don't you? 931 01:00:27,663 --> 01:00:31,208 I'm an old. Ionely woman. My life is over. 932 01:00:31,278 --> 01:00:33,700 I try to be a good grandmother now. 933 01:00:33,775 --> 01:00:36,196 I'm thinking of making jam. 934 01:00:36,270 --> 01:00:37,993 I like your shoes. 935 01:00:38,062 --> 01:00:40,451 It shows off your bubble gum toes. 936 01:00:41,486 --> 01:00:43,373 What was I saying? 937 01:00:43,437 --> 01:00:45,892 Giving me that crap about being old. 938 01:00:49,038 --> 01:00:51,209 Ladies and gentlemen, at this time... 939 01:00:51,277 --> 01:00:54,855 we're so happy to bring up to the dance floor for their first dance... 940 01:00:54,925 --> 01:00:58,536 Mr. And Mrs. Dean Kozinski. 941 01:00:58,604 --> 01:01:02,827 See the stone set in your eyes 942 01:01:02,892 --> 01:01:06,405 See the thorn twist in your side 943 01:01:09,164 --> 01:01:11,433 - Dance with me. - Sure. 944 01:01:11,500 --> 01:01:12,874 What? 945 01:01:14,092 --> 01:01:16,645 - Somebody dance with me. - Sure. 946 01:01:16,716 --> 01:01:18,276 What are you doing? 947 01:01:21,932 --> 01:01:23,841 And you give 948 01:01:23,915 --> 01:01:25,824 And you give 949 01:01:25,899 --> 01:01:29,576 And you give yourself away 950 01:01:29,643 --> 01:01:32,774 With or without you 951 01:01:34,122 --> 01:01:36,839 With or without you 952 01:01:38,410 --> 01:01:41,409 I can't live 953 01:01:42,442 --> 01:01:45,638 With or without you 954 01:01:50,218 --> 01:01:52,389 Go dance with your wife. 955 01:02:12,584 --> 01:02:14,755 Why don't we go for a walk? 956 01:02:29,511 --> 01:02:31,780 The marriage business is sure booming. 957 01:02:32,934 --> 01:02:34,789 Business is right. 958 01:02:42,469 --> 01:02:44,324 Would you and your wife like a piece of cake? 959 01:02:44,389 --> 01:02:47,040 Thank you. But she's not my wife. 960 01:02:47,110 --> 01:02:49,827 In that case. can I have your phone number? 961 01:02:49,893 --> 01:02:51,802 - What are you doing? - Congratulations. 962 01:02:51,877 --> 01:02:53,404 Thank you. Kidding. 963 01:02:55,205 --> 01:02:57,987 What do you think we would be like as a married couple? 964 01:02:58,053 --> 01:03:00,322 Horrendous. Awful. 965 01:03:00,389 --> 01:03:03,171 Sure. At first you'd find me witty. Charming. 966 01:03:03,236 --> 01:03:06,203 Fall in love with those cute sounds I make in the morning. 967 01:03:06,276 --> 01:03:09,123 But then in about three months you'd want to smother me with a pillow... 968 01:03:09,188 --> 01:03:11,098 'cause I talk too much. 969 01:03:11,172 --> 01:03:12,633 I love our talks. 970 01:03:12,708 --> 01:03:15,228 We talk now 'cause we're not married. 971 01:03:17,828 --> 01:03:19,999 - They're in love! - They're not in love. 972 01:03:20,067 --> 01:03:21,529 They are. 973 01:03:21,603 --> 01:03:24,538 And it's our fault. I'm out. 974 01:03:24,611 --> 01:03:26,912 They're not in love. Here. 975 01:03:26,978 --> 01:03:29,499 Have some of mine. 976 01:03:29,571 --> 01:03:32,254 Why are you being so nice to me? To make them jealous. Right? 977 01:03:32,323 --> 01:03:34,494 I've always been nice to you. 978 01:03:35,586 --> 01:03:38,553 - Never. - Then how come you had sex with me? 979 01:03:39,586 --> 01:03:43,066 I thought you were intelligent and going somewhere with your life. 980 01:03:43,138 --> 01:03:45,472 But I've had cause to reconsider my first opinion. 981 01:03:45,538 --> 01:03:48,287 I'm goin' somewhere. You think I'm gonna sell Subarus forever. 982 01:03:48,353 --> 01:03:50,044 Plus. I have a lot of deep thoughts. 983 01:03:50,977 --> 01:03:54,424 I just have a hard time talkin' to women. 984 01:03:54,497 --> 01:03:56,352 You're talking to me. 985 01:03:57,377 --> 01:03:59,646 You're different. 986 01:03:59,713 --> 01:04:00,662 How? 987 01:04:00,736 --> 01:04:02,776 I don't know. Different. 988 01:04:03,872 --> 01:04:05,727 Different than Maria. 989 01:04:12,032 --> 01:04:14,814 Maria's too good for me. 990 01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:21,015 If Larry got a good job and stopped playing that trumpet... 991 01:04:21,087 --> 01:04:22,614 I could be happy. 992 01:04:22,687 --> 01:04:25,240 And I wouldn't be attracted to someone like you. 993 01:04:25,311 --> 01:04:27,166 What the hell does that mean. someone like me? 994 01:04:27,231 --> 01:04:30,198 Hi-ho, the derry-o The bride cuts the cake 995 01:04:30,271 --> 01:04:32,278 The bride cuts the cake 996 01:04:34,590 --> 01:04:36,729 Where the hell you been? Where you been? 997 01:04:36,799 --> 01:04:38,937 - Where the hell's my wife? - Tom. You're drunk. 998 01:04:39,006 --> 01:04:41,461 Where's Maria? Have you seen her? Don't worry about it. 999 01:04:41,534 --> 01:04:43,771 Come watch them cut the cake. 1000 01:04:43,838 --> 01:04:46,740 - That's an idea. - Stop. Tom. Stop. 1001 01:04:55,517 --> 01:04:57,077 Mama. The cake! 1002 01:04:57,149 --> 01:04:59,059 I know. Hon. Don't... 1003 01:04:59,132 --> 01:05:01,653 Mama. Will you open the door? 1004 01:05:01,725 --> 01:05:03,579 You go straight. 1005 01:05:14,396 --> 01:05:17,363 Sweetheart. Are you going to be sick again? 1006 01:05:18,395 --> 01:05:19,922 Lie still. Dear. 1007 01:05:20,763 --> 01:05:22,552 I'll get a Hefty bag. 1008 01:05:23,099 --> 01:05:24,954 Can I use a phone to call a cab? 1009 01:05:25,019 --> 01:05:26,874 Don't be ridiculous. Take my car. 1010 01:05:26,939 --> 01:05:29,656 I'll stay here tonight. You can bring it back tomorrow... 1011 01:05:29,723 --> 01:05:31,927 with a full tank of gas. 1012 01:05:31,995 --> 01:05:34,100 I'll bring it back tomorrow on one condition... 1013 01:05:34,171 --> 01:05:36,025 pick you up to have dinner. 1014 01:05:37,498 --> 01:05:39,025 We are not compatible. 1015 01:05:39,098 --> 01:05:41,170 Come on. Dinner. 1016 01:05:41,242 --> 01:05:42,616 On me. 1017 01:05:44,986 --> 01:05:46,447 All right. 1018 01:05:46,521 --> 01:05:49,816 - You made an old man very happy. - You are not so old. 1019 01:05:49,882 --> 01:05:51,987 Yeah. I know. and I'm not so happy. 1020 01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:10,862 He'll be fine. 1021 01:06:10,936 --> 01:06:13,205 This is so crazy. We haven't done anything. 1022 01:06:13,272 --> 01:06:15,094 They think we have. 1023 01:06:23,383 --> 01:06:24,976 We have to stop. 1024 01:06:25,047 --> 01:06:26,422 I know. 1025 01:06:28,152 --> 01:06:30,256 It's so unfair. 1026 01:06:30,326 --> 01:06:32,498 You've become my best friend. 1027 01:06:36,727 --> 01:06:39,116 Don't you know. married men and women... 1028 01:06:39,190 --> 01:06:42,190 are only allowed to be close friends in large groups? 1029 01:06:46,230 --> 01:06:47,757 For Tish. 1030 01:06:57,365 --> 01:06:59,220 I'm gonna miss you. 1031 01:07:08,596 --> 01:07:11,596 - Mitch. Don't do that. - It's so cool. 1032 01:07:11,668 --> 01:07:13,457 Just don't. 1033 01:07:13,524 --> 01:07:15,378 Feeling better? 1034 01:07:15,444 --> 01:07:17,778 Do you want me to leave? 1035 01:07:19,699 --> 01:07:22,449 I will if you want me to. 1036 01:07:22,515 --> 01:07:25,548 I've always liked you so much. 1037 01:07:25,619 --> 01:07:28,499 I like you too. 1038 01:07:29,106 --> 01:07:31,692 I was almost unfaithful to your father once. 1039 01:07:31,762 --> 01:07:33,551 I knew this was coming. 1040 01:07:33,618 --> 01:07:35,341 He was a barber. 1041 01:07:35,410 --> 01:07:38,377 He looked just like John Forsythe. only bald. 1042 01:07:38,450 --> 01:07:39,977 And Italian. 1043 01:07:41,298 --> 01:07:44,593 - I'm not sleeping with Larry. - But you are thinking about it. 1044 01:07:45,362 --> 01:07:48,361 He makes me feel good. We talk. We walk. We have fun. 1045 01:07:48,433 --> 01:07:50,059 What's so wrong? 1046 01:07:50,129 --> 01:07:52,649 This walk you are taking is right into quicksand. 1047 01:07:52,721 --> 01:07:54,957 I haven't been happy with Tom in a long time. 1048 01:07:55,536 --> 01:07:57,391 Who says you are supposed to be happy? 1049 01:07:57,456 --> 01:07:58,950 Oh. Excuse me. 1050 01:07:59,024 --> 01:08:01,391 I dare to want to be happy. 1051 01:08:02,416 --> 01:08:05,732 As my mother used to say... 1052 01:08:08,496 --> 01:08:11,049 Why must my problems always have to be solved with proverbs? 1053 01:08:11,120 --> 01:08:14,022 - You've a nice home. Beautiful child. - An unfaithful husband. 1054 01:08:14,096 --> 01:08:16,430 Doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It just means he's stupid. 1055 01:08:16,496 --> 01:08:21,547 I think Tom wanted to get caught because he's unhappy too. 1056 01:08:21,615 --> 01:08:24,430 Maria. I just want to ask you a question... 1057 01:08:24,495 --> 01:08:27,756 and then I'll shut up and mind my own business. 1058 01:08:27,822 --> 01:08:31,913 Are you ready to change your life and the life of those close to you... 1059 01:08:31,982 --> 01:08:33,837 for a dance teacher? 1060 01:08:35,439 --> 01:08:37,544 Until you are sure... 1061 01:08:37,615 --> 01:08:40,003 don't do anything you'll regret. 1062 01:09:29,002 --> 01:09:30,791 Sorry. 1063 01:10:02,825 --> 01:10:04,199 Don't move! 1064 01:11:40,226 --> 01:11:42,015 Oak Lane? 1065 01:11:42,082 --> 01:11:44,569 'Round the bend. 1066 01:11:44,642 --> 01:11:46,016 Are you happy? 1067 01:11:46,082 --> 01:11:47,772 About what? 1068 01:12:04,224 --> 01:12:06,396 We'd like to rent one of your cottages. Please. 1069 01:12:06,465 --> 01:12:08,253 For how long? 1070 01:12:12,224 --> 01:12:14,013 Just for the afternoon. Thanks. 1071 01:12:17,024 --> 01:12:18,453 It's nice. 1072 01:12:34,686 --> 01:12:38,483 Fireplace works. No room service but the caf� off the highway delivers. 1073 01:12:38,559 --> 01:12:40,763 Menu's by the phone. 1074 01:12:40,831 --> 01:12:43,645 And yes. The paintings are for sale. 1075 01:12:48,446 --> 01:12:49,973 I love it. 1076 01:12:52,221 --> 01:12:53,596 Nervous? 1077 01:12:56,221 --> 01:12:57,595 Me too. 1078 01:13:10,237 --> 01:13:12,822 Oh. Shit. We broke the lamp. 1079 01:13:17,563 --> 01:13:20,378 I wanted to do something like that my entire life. 1080 01:13:23,451 --> 01:13:25,623 Look. Your lip's bleeding. 1081 01:13:28,219 --> 01:13:30,074 I bit my lip. 1082 01:13:31,195 --> 01:13:32,569 Round three? 1083 01:14:40,630 --> 01:14:42,964 What's this? 1084 01:14:43,030 --> 01:14:45,070 They're all yours. Mitchie. 1085 01:14:45,142 --> 01:14:46,837 I'm goin' for the real thing. 1086 01:14:51,061 --> 01:14:52,849 Samurai hairstylist. 1087 01:14:54,740 --> 01:14:57,107 I sure as hell hope you know what you're doing. 1088 01:15:00,212 --> 01:15:02,830 I don't know why I'm letting you do this. 1089 01:15:54,865 --> 01:15:56,752 Mandarin egg rolls... 1090 01:15:56,816 --> 01:15:58,310 shrimp cocktail... 1091 01:15:58,384 --> 01:16:00,555 turkey club sandwich... 1092 01:16:00,624 --> 01:16:02,795 and lox with scrambled eggs. 1093 01:16:02,864 --> 01:16:04,719 And a chocolate cake. 1094 01:16:04,784 --> 01:16:06,442 So what do you want? 1095 01:16:07,472 --> 01:16:09,894 - French fries. - And French fries. Please. 1096 01:16:09,967 --> 01:16:11,822 - Lots of ketchup. - Lots of ketchup. 1097 01:16:11,887 --> 01:16:14,221 Wait. Do you have any champagne? 1098 01:16:15,248 --> 01:16:17,898 Great. And please hurry. 1099 01:16:17,967 --> 01:16:19,494 Thank you. 1100 01:16:22,671 --> 01:16:24,198 That was quick. 1101 01:16:26,126 --> 01:16:28,941 It's the maid. Would you like the bed turned down? 1102 01:16:29,999 --> 01:16:31,525 No thank you. 1103 01:16:35,565 --> 01:16:37,507 I better call home. 1104 01:16:37,582 --> 01:16:39,884 Closer. 1105 01:16:39,950 --> 01:16:41,859 Closer still. 1106 01:16:48,685 --> 01:16:50,856 I'll be with her till Tom gets home. 1107 01:16:50,924 --> 01:16:52,451 Don't worry. Where are you? 1108 01:16:53,517 --> 01:16:55,556 Can I speak to Chloe. Mama? 1109 01:16:57,581 --> 01:17:00,199 Hi. Sweetheart. How was school today? 1110 01:17:01,740 --> 01:17:05,187 Leonard Pierson scratched you? This is awful. 1111 01:17:05,260 --> 01:17:07,115 Are you all right? 1112 01:17:08,459 --> 01:17:10,631 I'm gonna be home a little late tonight. 1113 01:17:11,980 --> 01:17:13,441 Why? 1114 01:17:13,515 --> 01:17:17,093 I'm seeing some friends. but I'll be home to kiss you good night. 1115 01:17:19,595 --> 01:17:21,962 Be a good girl for Daddy. 1116 01:17:22,027 --> 01:17:23,882 I love you. 1117 01:17:29,259 --> 01:17:31,430 I had to lie to my daughter. 1118 01:18:29,895 --> 01:18:32,448 I'll bet this one is the first one she ever sold. 1119 01:18:34,439 --> 01:18:36,348 It's late. 1120 01:18:36,422 --> 01:18:38,494 I'm sorry I fell asleep. 1121 01:18:38,566 --> 01:18:40,421 I fell asleep too. 1122 01:18:41,446 --> 01:18:45,374 Does falling asleep mean we've got each other out of our system? 1123 01:18:47,141 --> 01:18:49,563 It means we were both tired. 1124 01:18:56,101 --> 01:18:57,628 I'd better go. 1125 01:18:58,789 --> 01:19:00,644 I'll call you tomorrow. 1126 01:20:25,183 --> 01:20:27,605 Your office called. 1127 01:20:27,678 --> 01:20:30,133 You called in sick. So they wanted to know if you were all right. 1128 01:20:31,391 --> 01:20:33,692 Are you all right? 1129 01:20:35,135 --> 01:20:38,746 If I hadn't acted like an idiot. would this have happened? 1130 01:20:38,814 --> 01:20:40,854 You were just being you. 1131 01:20:43,934 --> 01:20:47,000 A man thinks he has to prove himself by being with a lot of women... 1132 01:20:48,637 --> 01:20:50,971 If you're gonna tell me about your infidelities... 1133 01:20:51,037 --> 01:20:52,892 I will have to leave you forever. 1134 01:21:04,508 --> 01:21:06,897 Chloe's teacher would like to talk to you. 1135 01:21:15,931 --> 01:21:17,557 Are you in love with him? 1136 01:21:21,724 --> 01:21:24,179 If I am. I'll get over it. 1137 01:21:27,579 --> 01:21:30,132 We were in love once upon a time. 1138 01:21:30,203 --> 01:21:31,730 We got over it. 1139 01:22:10,872 --> 01:22:13,239 You go near my wife again... 1140 01:22:13,304 --> 01:22:15,159 and I'll kill you. 1141 01:22:27,510 --> 01:22:29,877 Hey. Pop. What's the matter? 1142 01:22:31,447 --> 01:22:33,902 My brother Phil just called me from the grave. 1143 01:22:33,974 --> 01:22:37,367 Said to stay away from Edie or he'd kill me. 1144 01:22:38,742 --> 01:22:41,109 You were dreaming. Pop. 1145 01:22:42,774 --> 01:22:44,748 She doesn't want me anyway. 1146 01:22:44,822 --> 01:22:46,927 Doesn't think we're compatible. 1147 01:22:46,998 --> 01:22:49,780 No. Don't do that. Let me make you breakfast. 1148 01:22:55,733 --> 01:22:59,028 I'm not leaving 'cause I'm angry or mad or anything. 1149 01:23:01,077 --> 01:23:03,532 I want you to be free to make up your mind. 1150 01:23:04,148 --> 01:23:07,312 - Where you going? - My mom's. 1151 01:23:07,380 --> 01:23:09,868 I'll have the rest of my clothes picked up later. 1152 01:23:10,836 --> 01:23:13,225 Your mother gives you hives. What are you doing? 1153 01:23:13,300 --> 01:23:16,114 Not this time. It's time I face up to her. 1154 01:23:17,620 --> 01:23:19,692 See. I'm not as dumb as you think. 1155 01:23:19,763 --> 01:23:21,770 I think you're the smartest person around here. 1156 01:23:21,843 --> 01:23:24,331 Wait a minute. Shouldn't we be talking about this? 1157 01:23:24,404 --> 01:23:27,371 - I've made up my mind. - At least let me help you here. 1158 01:23:27,443 --> 01:23:29,548 You can help me get a cab. 1159 01:23:34,835 --> 01:23:36,689 So how did your big date go last night? 1160 01:23:38,930 --> 01:23:40,457 Can you keep a secret? 1161 01:23:41,650 --> 01:23:42,828 Yeah. Sure. 1162 01:23:43,538 --> 01:23:44,716 So can I. 1163 01:23:52,178 --> 01:23:53,006 You... 1164 01:23:55,857 --> 01:23:57,384 Mrs. Davidow. Hello. 1165 01:23:57,457 --> 01:24:00,042 Hello. Mrs. Hardy. Good morning. Chloe. 1166 01:24:00,113 --> 01:24:03,528 - Did you want to talk to me? - Would you take over for a while? 1167 01:24:04,817 --> 01:24:07,184 I am concerned about Chloe's arm. She has a scratch... 1168 01:24:07,248 --> 01:24:10,510 - Excuse me. - She said Leonard Pierson did it. 1169 01:24:10,577 --> 01:24:13,740 You know. It's time for us to do some serious sharing... 1170 01:24:13,808 --> 01:24:16,459 and interfacing about Chloe. Mrs. Hardy. 1171 01:24:16,528 --> 01:24:18,895 Can I offer you a cup of decaf? 1172 01:24:18,960 --> 01:24:21,164 So what do you think? Is this beautiful? 1173 01:24:21,232 --> 01:24:23,653 Isn't it great? Leather. The whole thing. 1174 01:24:23,727 --> 01:24:26,378 What do you say we go for a ride? I'll go grab the keys. 1175 01:24:26,447 --> 01:24:29,229 Come on. I'll get the keys. I'll be right back. 1176 01:24:29,295 --> 01:24:31,434 This is it. I can feel it. I can smell it. 1177 01:24:31,503 --> 01:24:33,924 I'm taking them for a test drive. I know it. 1178 01:24:33,999 --> 01:24:36,366 I sell this Beamer. I'm off to Vegas. I got 'em. 1179 01:24:36,431 --> 01:24:38,219 I got 'em. Got 'em. Got 'em! 1180 01:24:43,694 --> 01:24:46,115 Oh. My God! My God! 1181 01:24:51,150 --> 01:24:55,885 Mel. Can you open up that window? I wanna take the 750 for a test drive. 1182 01:24:55,950 --> 01:24:58,535 - Can I tantalize you with something? - I'm here to see Tom. 1183 01:24:58,605 --> 01:25:00,744 A mistake. but I'll be right back. 1184 01:25:06,637 --> 01:25:09,985 So. You're finally buying a car. 1185 01:25:12,269 --> 01:25:13,643 Thinking about it. 1186 01:25:13,708 --> 01:25:17,188 I'll see you later. Be right back. Got it definitely under control. 1187 01:25:20,971 --> 01:25:22,400 I left Larry. 1188 01:25:25,196 --> 01:25:29,222 Are you crazy? You stupid shit! 1189 01:25:29,867 --> 01:25:32,714 - That was really great. - It was great. 1190 01:25:32,779 --> 01:25:36,773 - It wasn't so great. - What? It was great. 1191 01:25:36,843 --> 01:25:38,501 No. It was different. 1192 01:25:38,571 --> 01:25:40,393 Well... 1193 01:25:40,459 --> 01:25:42,499 it's different in a bed. 1194 01:25:43,530 --> 01:25:45,603 It's not the bed. It's different. 1195 01:25:46,986 --> 01:25:48,196 You're different. 1196 01:25:50,569 --> 01:25:53,439 Well. It's different now that you're... 1197 01:25:54,569 --> 01:25:57,885 - Now that I'm what? - Now that you're... 1198 01:25:57,961 --> 01:26:00,263 on your own. 1199 01:26:00,329 --> 01:26:01,856 Oh. My God. 1200 01:26:03,081 --> 01:26:04,936 I just realized something. 1201 01:26:05,961 --> 01:26:08,579 You're one of those men who can only do this because you're married. 1202 01:26:08,649 --> 01:26:10,209 You're not interested in anyone... 1203 01:26:10,280 --> 01:26:12,963 - You'd have to be responsible to. - Calm down. 1204 01:26:13,032 --> 01:26:15,967 I'm up for a new position in the fashion office. 1205 01:26:16,040 --> 01:26:19,618 I took time out today because I thought that maybe you... 1206 01:26:19,688 --> 01:26:22,502 - You thought that maybe I'd what? - Nothing. 1207 01:26:22,568 --> 01:26:25,950 - There's a run in my pantyhose! - What's the matter with you? 1208 01:26:26,024 --> 01:26:28,413 I'm being tested and... 1209 01:26:28,487 --> 01:26:31,422 punished for my stupidity! 1210 01:26:31,495 --> 01:26:33,349 I deserve this. 1211 01:26:44,678 --> 01:26:46,652 She looks much better. 1212 01:26:46,726 --> 01:26:49,246 Hey. What a great surprise. 1213 01:26:49,318 --> 01:26:52,515 I had no idea how much I loved sanding. 1214 01:26:52,582 --> 01:26:54,491 Is sandpapering going to be your next job? 1215 01:26:54,566 --> 01:26:59,999 I don't think so. I was thinking you and me should open a restaurant. 1216 01:27:01,029 --> 01:27:02,523 Do you cook? 1217 01:27:02,597 --> 01:27:04,768 No. But I do dishes. 1218 01:27:06,308 --> 01:27:07,934 A restaurant? Where? 1219 01:27:08,005 --> 01:27:12,478 Somewhere we can hang a sign that says "Gone sailing" anytime we want. 1220 01:27:13,765 --> 01:27:16,252 - And people would understand? - Understand? Are you kidding me? 1221 01:27:16,324 --> 01:27:17,851 People will approve. 1222 01:27:19,140 --> 01:27:22,456 And what about your son. Wife? 1223 01:27:24,035 --> 01:27:27,330 Mitch goes to spend next term with his mother in San Francisco... 1224 01:27:27,395 --> 01:27:29,054 then college. 1225 01:27:29,124 --> 01:27:30,912 Tish... I don't know what she wants... 1226 01:27:30,979 --> 01:27:32,702 but it certainly isn't me. 1227 01:27:38,434 --> 01:27:40,539 It must be beautiful out there. 1228 01:27:45,314 --> 01:27:47,169 Does that mean you're gonna come along? 1229 01:27:49,986 --> 01:27:52,125 Chloe has been lying... 1230 01:27:52,194 --> 01:27:54,943 about a boy attacking her... 1231 01:27:55,009 --> 01:27:57,376 when actually she has been beating on him. 1232 01:27:58,690 --> 01:28:02,552 The teacher thinks she is acting out her anger toward Tom. 1233 01:28:04,641 --> 01:28:08,187 The other day she put a cat in the school dryer. 1234 01:28:10,337 --> 01:28:15,355 The teacher thinks it is 'cause she doesn't get enough attention... 1235 01:28:15,424 --> 01:28:17,212 'cause... 1236 01:28:17,281 --> 01:28:19,647 I'm not doing a good enough job. 1237 01:28:19,712 --> 01:28:22,428 No. Now kids go through stages. 1238 01:28:30,016 --> 01:28:32,252 My husband and my daughter need me. 1239 01:28:38,431 --> 01:28:39,740 And us? 1240 01:28:41,502 --> 01:28:42,396 "Us?" 1241 01:28:43,135 --> 01:28:45,436 Well. We do what generally people do. 1242 01:28:47,999 --> 01:28:50,267 Go on with their lives. 1243 01:28:53,917 --> 01:28:56,787 Maybe people aren't supposed to be happy. 1244 01:28:56,861 --> 01:28:59,250 No. I don't believe that. 1245 01:29:04,285 --> 01:29:06,259 I came to say good-bye. 1246 01:29:06,333 --> 01:29:07,707 I know. 1247 01:29:08,829 --> 01:29:10,683 Have you been crying? 1248 01:29:12,989 --> 01:29:14,363 I have. 1249 01:29:15,964 --> 01:29:18,331 I have been crying a lot lately. 1250 01:29:20,700 --> 01:29:23,187 Making up for all these years I didn't. 1251 01:29:28,827 --> 01:29:30,354 I'm fine. 1252 01:29:32,347 --> 01:29:35,544 You know. I'm only sorry we never had a chance to dance. 1253 01:29:49,658 --> 01:29:52,592 - You all gotta be crazy! - Pop. Please. I got enough problems. 1254 01:29:52,665 --> 01:29:54,421 Go home. I'll call you. 1255 01:29:54,489 --> 01:29:57,805 Listen to me for once. If you love that woman the way I think you do... 1256 01:29:57,881 --> 01:29:59,736 sometimes in life you gotta fight to the death. 1257 01:29:59,801 --> 01:30:03,379 I'm familiar with this philosophy. Attila the Hun said it first. 1258 01:30:03,449 --> 01:30:05,870 Listen to what your father Vincent Kozinski is saying first... 1259 01:30:05,945 --> 01:30:07,952 last and always. 1260 01:30:08,024 --> 01:30:10,774 You've got only one life to live. 1261 01:30:10,841 --> 01:30:14,136 You can either make it chicken shit or chicken salad. 1262 01:30:30,231 --> 01:30:32,141 Good chops. 1263 01:30:32,216 --> 01:30:33,971 I'm glad you like them. 1264 01:30:34,039 --> 01:30:36,308 - My favorite. - I know. 1265 01:30:36,375 --> 01:30:37,901 Thanks. 1266 01:30:37,975 --> 01:30:39,349 You're welcome. 1267 01:30:45,751 --> 01:30:47,125 Maybe... 1268 01:30:49,718 --> 01:30:51,572 we can make love later. 1269 01:30:53,462 --> 01:30:54,574 Good. 1270 01:32:36,527 --> 01:32:37,901 Thank you. 1271 01:33:39,371 --> 01:33:43,113 Phil said there's a future in garbage. Never thought it was my future. 1272 01:33:43,179 --> 01:33:46,440 You were very generous in your business dealings. Very generous. 1273 01:33:46,506 --> 01:33:49,954 - Don't let it get around. - You are not such a tough guy. 1274 01:33:51,402 --> 01:33:54,119 - Tough guy would make a pass at you. - But not you. 1275 01:33:54,186 --> 01:33:57,764 No? I'd say. "I got this big empty house in the country. 1276 01:33:57,834 --> 01:34:00,616 Come and visit me and we can celebrate." 1277 01:34:00,681 --> 01:34:03,845 I'd say. "I am too old for traveling." 1278 01:34:15,656 --> 01:34:17,183 I love you. Edie. 1279 01:34:18,728 --> 01:34:20,102 My God. 1280 01:34:37,575 --> 01:34:41,601 All right. All right. Poor baby. Poor angel. 1281 01:34:45,862 --> 01:34:47,902 You still wanna kill people? 1282 01:34:47,974 --> 01:34:50,178 - No. They're too stupid. - You're telling me. 1283 01:34:50,246 --> 01:34:53,541 Your grandfather's about to marry the Bermuda Triangle. 1284 01:35:00,261 --> 01:35:02,563 That's very good. Very good. 1285 01:35:04,390 --> 01:35:05,764 God bless. 1286 01:35:09,125 --> 01:35:10,881 Hi. Vince. 1287 01:35:12,293 --> 01:35:14,049 - Father. - Pleasure. 1288 01:35:14,117 --> 01:35:16,670 - You know my son. I'm sure. - Nice to see you again. 1289 01:35:22,500 --> 01:35:25,118 - You're late. - You've met Cathy. Haven't you? 1290 01:35:25,188 --> 01:35:28,057 Cathy. This is Tish. Tish. This is Cathy. 1291 01:35:28,132 --> 01:35:29,987 It's nice to meet you. 1292 01:35:31,300 --> 01:35:33,122 What? What? 1293 01:35:33,188 --> 01:35:34,781 Start! Start! 1294 01:35:42,755 --> 01:35:44,860 It's too late. I did it. 1295 01:35:44,931 --> 01:35:47,865 Look at those kids... cute. 1296 01:36:20,992 --> 01:36:23,064 Here we go. 1297 01:36:50,623 --> 01:36:54,965 Vincent. Will you take this woman to be your wife? 1298 01:36:55,038 --> 01:36:57,591 - Yeah. Can I kiss her? - Not yet. 1299 01:36:57,662 --> 01:36:59,834 - Say "I will." - I will. 1300 01:36:59,902 --> 01:37:03,284 Edie. Will you take this man to be your husband? 1301 01:37:05,149 --> 01:37:06,077 I will. 1302 01:37:06,142 --> 01:37:07,483 Vincent and Edie... 1303 01:37:07,550 --> 01:37:12,056 you've made this solemn covenant of marriage before God and this company. 1304 01:37:12,125 --> 01:37:14,296 Always follow your bliss. 1305 01:37:14,365 --> 01:37:16,569 Always follow what your heart says. 1306 01:37:16,637 --> 01:37:20,182 I now pronounce you man and wife. 1307 01:37:20,252 --> 01:37:22,292 You may kiss the bride. 1308 01:37:33,978 --> 01:37:37,807 At this point. Ladies and gentlemen. we need a volunteer from the audience. 1309 01:37:37,882 --> 01:37:40,751 - Somebody who will lend us a hand... - Me. Sit. 1310 01:37:40,826 --> 01:37:42,801 or perhaps his whole body. 1311 01:37:42,873 --> 01:37:46,321 I think we have one here. How are you. Sir? What's your name? 1312 01:37:46,393 --> 01:37:48,913 Hi. How are you? 1313 01:37:48,985 --> 01:37:51,319 Stan. We're going to ask you to remove your jacket. 1314 01:37:51,385 --> 01:37:53,273 And Michelle will help you off with it there. 1315 01:37:53,337 --> 01:37:55,159 Another girl in here? 1316 01:37:55,225 --> 01:37:57,265 Try not to be funnier than the magician. 1317 01:37:57,337 --> 01:37:59,638 Just lie down. Make yourself comfortable. 1318 01:37:59,704 --> 01:38:02,672 - We don't have to stay here long. - I'm fine. 1319 01:38:02,744 --> 01:38:05,330 But I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. 1320 01:38:05,400 --> 01:38:08,050 Why would I feel uncomfortable? I'm not if you're not. 1321 01:38:12,536 --> 01:38:14,194 Easy. Boy. Okay. Here we go. 1322 01:38:14,264 --> 01:38:16,467 - Ready? - That's good. 1323 01:38:16,536 --> 01:38:18,804 Congratulations on your promotion. 1324 01:38:18,872 --> 01:38:21,327 It agrees with you. You've never looked more beautiful. 1325 01:38:21,399 --> 01:38:23,887 Thank you. I've redone the apartment. 1326 01:38:23,959 --> 01:38:26,512 It's sort of postmodern meets the Jetsons. 1327 01:38:26,583 --> 01:38:29,485 - You should see it sometime. - I will. I will. 1328 01:38:29,558 --> 01:38:31,249 I'm good now. 1329 01:38:32,919 --> 01:38:34,129 Don't go away. 1330 01:38:36,694 --> 01:38:38,636 - You want a drink? - No thank you. 1331 01:38:38,710 --> 01:38:40,685 I'm gonna get a drink. 1332 01:38:42,262 --> 01:38:45,360 We're going to show you something really puzzling. 1333 01:38:51,158 --> 01:38:54,540 - I'm sorry. - Do you know why I married you? 1334 01:38:55,156 --> 01:38:56,782 My money? 1335 01:38:56,853 --> 01:39:00,879 Your eyes. I thought a man with your eyes would never hurt a woman. 1336 01:39:01,844 --> 01:39:03,699 Have I? 1337 01:39:07,381 --> 01:39:08,907 Good luck. Larry. 1338 01:39:09,940 --> 01:39:11,347 Thank you. 1339 01:39:19,956 --> 01:39:23,817 What we're going to do is introduce you to a little friend of mine... 1340 01:39:23,891 --> 01:39:25,582 Sammy the Saw. 1341 01:39:26,803 --> 01:39:30,447 You wanna go home? Good. Let's talk to Daddy. We'll leave. 1342 01:39:30,515 --> 01:39:32,849 He didn't have that much to begin with. 1343 01:39:37,778 --> 01:39:39,982 Hold on. Wait. 1344 01:39:40,050 --> 01:39:43,345 You know. I came this close to having her. 1345 01:39:50,353 --> 01:39:52,044 Ready? 1346 01:39:57,585 --> 01:39:59,440 - That was fantastic. - But we're not finished yet. 1347 01:39:59,505 --> 01:40:01,992 Put him together later on. I wanna dance with my wife. 1348 01:40:02,064 --> 01:40:03,919 Give us a waltz. 1349 01:40:38,702 --> 01:40:40,262 They look so sweet. 1350 01:41:11,372 --> 01:41:12,997 Tell your story walking. 1351 01:41:16,619 --> 01:41:18,474 Maria. Would you dance with me? 1352 01:41:18,539 --> 01:41:21,354 - No. She won't. - Please. Tom. 1353 01:41:24,267 --> 01:41:26,634 Well. Then how 'bout spending the rest of your life with me? 1354 01:41:26,699 --> 01:41:30,855 - What are you talking about? - I haven't fought for a long time... 1355 01:41:30,922 --> 01:41:33,126 but if you wanna fight. I will fight. 1356 01:41:33,194 --> 01:41:34,536 - Please. Please. - Fine. 1357 01:41:36,074 --> 01:41:37,503 What's going on here? 1358 01:41:37,579 --> 01:41:41,353 I'm trying to make some chicken salad out of chicken shit here. 1359 01:41:41,418 --> 01:41:43,939 Maria. Everyone is looking. 1360 01:41:44,618 --> 01:41:47,934 Wait a minute. I've kept my part of the bargain for Chloe's sake. 1361 01:41:48,009 --> 01:41:50,464 Maybe Chloe deserves more than a bargain. 1362 01:41:52,137 --> 01:41:55,366 You come and get in the car with me now or I'm leaving you for good. 1363 01:42:11,304 --> 01:42:13,540 Larry Kozinski. I would love to dance with you. 1364 01:43:04,421 --> 01:43:07,388 - Dance! Please. Everybody dance! - Dance! 1365 01:43:07,461 --> 01:43:09,948 I'm taking my present back. 1366 01:43:58,433 --> 01:44:00,255 - Come on. Mitch. - Here we go. 1367 01:44:00,321 --> 01:44:02,873 - Mitch. Come on. - Come on. Quick. We're gonna leave. 1368 01:44:02,944 --> 01:44:04,373 Come on. Please. 1369 01:44:04,449 --> 01:44:06,456 Come on. Mitch. Hurry up. 1370 01:44:07,873 --> 01:44:10,742 No. Dad. Dad. Stop it. 1371 01:44:12,000 --> 01:44:14,072 What are you doing? What are you doing? 102252