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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,766 --> 00:00:09,800 ( radio tuning ) 2 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:14,366 Of course the Warren commission 3 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,033 was Bull, but that doesn't change 4 00:00:17,066 --> 00:00:18,566 the bottom line. 5 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,066 Oswald did it! 6 00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:22,800 He was a Patsy for the military. 7 00:00:22,833 --> 00:00:26,500 Who is this guy, Oliver stone's retard brother? 8 00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:29,233 Read my lips! 9 00:00:29,266 --> 00:00:31,233 There was no conspiracy. 10 00:00:31,266 --> 00:00:33,133 No friggin' way a bunch 11 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,033 of jar-Headed foul-Ups 12 00:00:35,066 --> 00:00:37,600 who pay 800 bucks for a toilet seat 13 00:00:37,633 --> 00:00:39,233 could pull that off. 14 00:00:39,266 --> 00:00:41,366 You're outta here. 15 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,233 Trudy, isn't there anyone 16 00:00:43,266 --> 00:00:46,166 that has something intelligent to say tonight? 17 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,566 Your pal Rudy's on line two. 18 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,433 I guess the answer's no. 19 00:00:50,466 --> 00:00:51,933 Hey, loser. 20 00:00:51,966 --> 00:00:54,666 How's life on the other side of the galaxy? 21 00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:56,733 I told you not to call me that. 22 00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:58,266 Mr. Sensitive. 23 00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:00,566 You still live in your parents' basement? 24 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,733 You only go out when your extraterrestrial buddies 25 00:01:02,766 --> 00:01:04,266 take you for a joyride. 26 00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:06,000 Let me check the dictionary. 27 00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,466 Yep, there's your picture. 28 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,500 Right there under "Loser." 29 00:01:09,533 --> 00:01:11,333 ( taped laughter ) 30 00:01:11,366 --> 00:01:13,100 Well, I'd love to chat, 31 00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:15,800 but I've got another mental defective on line three. 32 00:01:15,833 --> 00:01:18,466 Eldon, is it True? 33 00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:22,566 You have actual proof that we're surrounded by aliens? 34 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,566 Just because you've never seen a thing 35 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,366 doesn't mean it isn't real. 36 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,233 I'm shaking, Eldon. 37 00:01:28,266 --> 00:01:30,566 Come on, lay your proof on me. 38 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,133 I can take it. 39 00:01:32,166 --> 00:01:35,233 They're inside people. 40 00:01:35,266 --> 00:01:37,233 Lots of people. 41 00:01:37,266 --> 00:01:39,866 Except most of them don't know it. 42 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,133 But somehow you do. 43 00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:44,233 Let me ask you something-- 44 00:01:44,266 --> 00:01:47,233 Why is it these space invaders, 45 00:01:47,266 --> 00:01:51,066 they never visit presidents of universities 46 00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:53,233 or brain surgeons? 47 00:01:53,266 --> 00:01:57,933 How come they always show up at some trailer park 48 00:01:57,966 --> 00:01:59,666 to a mook with bad teeth 49 00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:02,033 Who's got a love thang For his sister? 50 00:02:02,066 --> 00:02:05,200 I didn't ask to be infested by an alien. 51 00:02:05,233 --> 00:02:06,733 Sure, you did. 52 00:02:06,766 --> 00:02:09,233 You stopped taking your medication. 53 00:02:09,266 --> 00:02:10,733 Do me a favor. 54 00:02:10,766 --> 00:02:13,233 Pull over, let me talk to e.T. 55 00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:15,266 I'll straighten you both out. 56 00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:17,166 I can feel him under my skin. 57 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,233 He's trying to get out. 58 00:02:19,266 --> 00:02:21,733 You want to know the truth, Eldon? 59 00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:23,733 There are no aliens, 60 00:02:23,766 --> 00:02:26,733 not in our little corner of hell. 61 00:02:26,766 --> 00:02:28,766 And if there were, 62 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:32,733 the last person they'd want to hang out with is you-- 63 00:02:32,766 --> 00:02:36,266 a floater in the shallow end of the Gene pool. 64 00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:38,733 I can't stand it anymore. 65 00:02:38,766 --> 00:02:40,266 Me either! 66 00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:41,733 Do yourself a favor-- 67 00:02:41,766 --> 00:02:44,233 Put yourself out of your misery. 68 00:02:44,266 --> 00:02:46,200 Your friends will thank me. 69 00:02:52,633 --> 00:02:56,000 Well, people, I've got to hand it to you. 70 00:02:56,033 --> 00:02:58,933 You've taken an otherwise depressing evening 71 00:02:58,966 --> 00:03:02,233 and made it truly dismal. 72 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,233 So until tomorrow, 73 00:03:04,266 --> 00:03:08,500 unless I get really lucky and die, 74 00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:10,766 this is Stan harbinger... 75 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,733 ( recording ) the harbinger of truth, 76 00:03:12,766 --> 00:03:15,733 truth, truth, truth, truth... 77 00:03:15,766 --> 00:03:18,233 we got to talk about tomorrow. 78 00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:19,733 Huh? 79 00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,233 The syndication meeting? 80 00:03:21,266 --> 00:03:22,733 We need another station. 81 00:03:22,766 --> 00:03:25,233 Tulsa bailed, and we need at least 35 markets. 82 00:03:25,266 --> 00:03:27,600 Trudy, you're the producer--Produce. 83 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,066 Can I help you? 84 00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:39,600 I'm Eldon. 85 00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:41,200 We've been waiting for you. 86 00:03:46,566 --> 00:03:48,000 Hey, take it easy. 87 00:03:48,033 --> 00:03:50,700 If you can see the light, you can see the truth. 88 00:03:50,733 --> 00:03:53,766 What, are you out of your mind? 89 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,100 ( screaming ) 90 00:04:03,233 --> 00:04:05,333 Oh, my god. 91 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:10,066 ( heart beating ) 92 00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,666 What the... 93 00:04:35,933 --> 00:04:39,000 ( control voice ) There is nothing wrong 94 00:04:39,033 --> 00:04:41,733 Do not attempt to adjust the picture. 95 00:04:41,766 --> 00:04:44,633 We are now controlling the transmission. 96 00:04:44,666 --> 00:04:46,900 We control the horizontal, 97 00:04:46,933 --> 00:04:48,866 and the vertical. 98 00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:51,666 We can deluge you with a thousand channels 99 00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:56,500 or expand one single image to crystal clarity... 100 00:04:56,533 --> 00:04:58,533 and beyond. 101 00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:00,700 We can shape your vision 102 00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:04,000 to anything our imagination can conceive. 103 00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:07,966 For the next hour, 104 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:12,133 we will control all that you see and hear. 105 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,266 ( ♪ ) 106 00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:23,000 You are about to experience the awe and mystery 107 00:05:23,033 --> 00:05:25,966 which reaches from the deepest inner mind 108 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,833 to --the outer limits. 109 00:05:35,784 --> 00:05:39,184 The skeptic's world is a secure one 110 00:05:39,217 --> 00:05:42,217 built on unshakable truths. 111 00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:44,717 But what happens when its foundation 112 00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:46,750 begins to crumble? 113 00:05:46,784 --> 00:05:49,650 I told you, the guy was already waiting for me. 114 00:05:49,684 --> 00:05:51,717 He was covered in gasoline. 115 00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:55,317 He said a bunch of stuff that didn't make any sense. 116 00:05:55,350 --> 00:05:57,650 You didn't try to stop him? 117 00:05:57,684 --> 00:05:59,984 Try to stop him? There wasn't any time. 118 00:06:00,017 --> 00:06:01,317 Then what happened? 119 00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:03,650 Then I got out the marshmallows. 120 00:06:06,184 --> 00:06:08,217 The guy burned to death. 121 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,484 End of story. 122 00:06:10,517 --> 00:06:12,717 Thanks very much, Mr. Harbinger. 123 00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:14,550 We'll get back to you. 124 00:06:14,584 --> 00:06:16,217 Thanks. 125 00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:21,684 When I think about What happened to that poor guy... 126 00:06:21,717 --> 00:06:23,217 poor guy? 127 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,717 Trudy, the guy tried to set me on fire. 128 00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:27,884 He would have too, if he hadn't... 129 00:06:27,917 --> 00:06:30,717 hadn't? 130 00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,250 Look. 131 00:06:32,284 --> 00:06:36,717 Given the right time, place, circumstances 132 00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:41,050 anyone is capable of imagining anything. 133 00:06:41,084 --> 00:06:43,617 What the hell is that supposed to mean? 134 00:06:43,650 --> 00:06:46,217 It means... 135 00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:48,784 the guy was a deranged nutjob. 136 00:06:48,817 --> 00:06:51,650 He got what he deserved. 137 00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:04,217 There he is! 138 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:06,217 Stan, how do you feel 139 00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:08,217 about that guy killing himself 140 00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:09,717 because of you? 141 00:07:09,750 --> 00:07:11,550 Has geraman broadcasting 142 00:07:11,584 --> 00:07:14,684 changed its mind about syndicating you? 143 00:07:14,717 --> 00:07:17,250 Don't those people have a war to cover? 144 00:07:17,284 --> 00:07:18,750 The press are morons. 145 00:07:18,784 --> 00:07:21,217 What are we going to say to Phil? 146 00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:23,717 Don't worry about Phil. 147 00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,717 Phil, how are you? 148 00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:27,717 Stan, you didn't say anything 149 00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:29,750 to those ratbags, did you? 150 00:07:29,784 --> 00:07:32,217 I'm saving it for the show. 151 00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:34,284 Well, we should talk about that. 152 00:07:34,317 --> 00:07:36,250 Phil, don't make me angry. 153 00:07:36,284 --> 00:07:39,217 My listeners will expect me to talk about this. 154 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:42,250 I want you to talk about it, but we've got to be careful. 155 00:07:42,284 --> 00:07:43,750 The dead guy. Eldon Devries. 156 00:07:43,784 --> 00:07:46,184 His wife wants to Sue everybody. 157 00:07:46,217 --> 00:07:47,584 It's totally meritless. 158 00:07:47,617 --> 00:07:50,550 Do you honestly believe that it was my fault? 159 00:07:50,584 --> 00:07:52,084 In a literal sense? 160 00:07:52,117 --> 00:07:54,117 In any sense. 161 00:07:54,150 --> 00:07:56,684 Geraman broadcasting has spent a great deal of money 162 00:07:56,717 --> 00:07:58,650 trying to syndicate your program. 163 00:07:58,684 --> 00:08:01,084 We've already lost one potential affiliate 164 00:08:01,117 --> 00:08:03,550 due to local advertiser resistance. 165 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:04,750 In tulsa! 166 00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,817 We've got three more stations interested. 167 00:08:06,850 --> 00:08:09,050 Amarillo, poughkeepsie, baton rouge. 168 00:08:09,084 --> 00:08:11,417 You hear that? Poughkeepsie. 169 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:13,350 Are you aware of a group called 170 00:08:13,384 --> 00:08:15,684 Are you aware of a thing called a nose hair trimmer? 171 00:08:15,717 --> 00:08:17,617 They're one of those idiotic ufo Groups 172 00:08:17,650 --> 00:08:20,950 that think the Sky is falling and the government is in on it. 173 00:08:20,984 --> 00:08:23,450 Everywhere they look, they see aliens. 174 00:08:23,484 --> 00:08:24,950 They're cranks. 175 00:08:24,984 --> 00:08:27,350 Lower on the food chain than trekkies. 176 00:08:27,384 --> 00:08:29,417 You have antagonized them in the past. 177 00:08:29,450 --> 00:08:31,684 Because they live in a dreamworld. 178 00:08:31,717 --> 00:08:33,817 They're not reasonable people. 179 00:08:33,850 --> 00:08:36,217 They're saying that you haven't been 180 00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,217 entirely truthful about what happened. 181 00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:41,117 Have you been truthful with us, with the police? 182 00:08:41,150 --> 00:08:43,117 No, I set the guy on fire. 183 00:08:43,150 --> 00:08:45,717 ( Trudy ) How could you take 184 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:48,717 They have a good-Sized membership which they say 185 00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:51,784 they'll use to protest in every city that you go into. 186 00:08:51,817 --> 00:08:53,484 Perfect-- Instant publicity. 187 00:08:53,517 --> 00:08:55,217 Instant bad publicity. 188 00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:56,650 Phil... 189 00:08:56,684 --> 00:08:58,684 it's a controversial show. 190 00:08:58,717 --> 00:09:01,550 What better than to go wide during a controversy? 191 00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,617 Stan, this is more than a controversy. 192 00:09:03,650 --> 00:09:05,650 A man is dead here. 193 00:09:05,684 --> 00:09:07,217 And these believers say 194 00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:10,217 that you might have something to do with it. 195 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,717 Big picture-- 196 00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:13,950 We want advertisers with peace of mind 197 00:09:13,984 --> 00:09:15,784 and a willingness to spend money. 198 00:09:15,817 --> 00:09:17,284 The little picture-- 199 00:09:17,317 --> 00:09:20,717 Angry nutjobs get stroked, they go back into their holes. 200 00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,317 Where's the difficulty? 201 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:28,784 So you want me to stroke them a little. 202 00:09:28,817 --> 00:09:31,217 Exactly. 203 00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:34,917 And please, apologize to the guy's family. 204 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:39,550 No mea culpas, 205 00:09:39,584 --> 00:09:43,484 Deeply and sincerely. 206 00:09:49,184 --> 00:09:51,717 So I guess what I'm saying, people, 207 00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:57,217 is that it's tragic, the loss of life. 208 00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:59,217 It's always unfortunate. 209 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:03,217 And this guy, Eldon, 210 00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:06,684 though he was obviously disturbed, 211 00:10:06,717 --> 00:10:10,284 I do feel...what I mean is 212 00:10:10,317 --> 00:10:13,084 the fact that he died... 213 00:10:22,217 --> 00:10:23,850 I'm sorry, 214 00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,717 but it's not my fault. 215 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,750 The man was delusional, 216 00:10:27,784 --> 00:10:31,717 and so are all of his whackjob, stargazing friends. 217 00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:34,217 Klaatu barada nikto. 218 00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:36,850 Loosely translated, 219 00:10:36,884 --> 00:10:39,217 "get lives, people." 220 00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:42,117 No apology will be forthcoming. 221 00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:44,684 If that means kissing my job Goodbye, 222 00:10:44,717 --> 00:10:46,184 then so be it. 223 00:10:46,217 --> 00:10:48,517 I'd rather flip burgers 224 00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:50,550 than sit here telling people 225 00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:52,984 a bunch of stuff I don't believe in. 226 00:10:53,017 --> 00:10:55,717 You want sweet talk that makes you feel Better? 227 00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,217 Then go to your mamas. 228 00:10:57,250 --> 00:11:01,250 You want the truth, then you've come to the right place. 229 00:11:01,284 --> 00:11:03,617 Tell me that's what we're doing here, 230 00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:06,917 people, because I'm starting to lose faith. 231 00:11:06,950 --> 00:11:08,450 Marco, speak to me. 232 00:11:08,484 --> 00:11:10,217 My station manager right? 233 00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:13,084 F him, dude. He's a total jerk. 234 00:11:13,117 --> 00:11:15,817 Sheila, you agree? 235 00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:18,250 You're the harbinger of truth, Stan. 236 00:11:18,284 --> 00:11:20,217 They should apologize to you. 237 00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:23,117 You think you headed us off at the pass? 238 00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,617 No, I don't think anything. 239 00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:29,317 But I know what I know. 240 00:11:34,950 --> 00:11:38,217 Eddie, you read my mind. 241 00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:41,250 It's from the lady at the bar. 242 00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:48,717 You going to make me drink this alone? 243 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:51,350 I wouldn't dream of invading your privacy. 244 00:11:51,384 --> 00:11:53,850 You can invade. I won't complain. 245 00:11:53,884 --> 00:11:56,517 Enjoy the drink. 246 00:12:10,084 --> 00:12:12,584 I insist you invade my privacy. 247 00:12:12,617 --> 00:12:14,217 My name's Stan. 248 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,217 I know who you are. 249 00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:18,250 Caught your show tonight. 250 00:12:18,284 --> 00:12:21,217 You left quite a few bodies in your wake. 251 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:22,717 Yeah, well, 252 00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:25,217 just giving them what they pay me for. 253 00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:27,217 I didn't catch your name. 254 00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:28,784 Darcy. 255 00:12:28,817 --> 00:12:30,317 Mind if I sit down, 256 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,250 Darcy? 257 00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:34,984 You a regular listener? 258 00:12:35,017 --> 00:12:36,517 Occasional. 259 00:12:36,550 --> 00:12:39,650 It's not often I'm by a radio that time of night. 260 00:12:39,684 --> 00:12:41,884 Well, what are you usually doing? 261 00:12:41,917 --> 00:12:44,284 Working. 262 00:12:44,317 --> 00:12:47,017 Playing...whatever. 263 00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:50,050 But not tonight. 264 00:12:50,084 --> 00:12:52,217 No. 265 00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:53,850 Tonight I got lucky. 266 00:12:57,850 --> 00:13:00,217 Let me put it this way. 267 00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:02,717 I come from the, um... 268 00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:06,350 other side of the other side of the tracks. 269 00:13:06,384 --> 00:13:08,717 You know that expression 270 00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:12,217 "The Meek shall inherit the earth." 271 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:17,550 What it really means is they inherit the dirt. 272 00:13:17,584 --> 00:13:22,450 Life is pointless, heaven's a fantasy, 273 00:13:22,484 --> 00:13:26,617 and hell is right here on earth. 274 00:13:26,650 --> 00:13:29,984 Doesn't give a person much reason to go on living. 275 00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:32,884 Ah, but that's why you... 276 00:13:32,917 --> 00:13:36,717 you have to find the reason. 277 00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:39,050 From the moment I saw you, 278 00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:41,517 I had a definite reason. 279 00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:43,517 And what would that be? 280 00:13:43,550 --> 00:13:47,150 To see how good you'd look 281 00:13:47,184 --> 00:13:50,984 with this outfit folded over a chair. 282 00:13:51,017 --> 00:13:54,217 And that's supposed to give me a reason to go on? 283 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,384 It's the reason you bought me a drink. 284 00:13:56,417 --> 00:13:59,217 Actually, no. 285 00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:03,484 I, um, I just wanted to get to know you better. 286 00:14:03,517 --> 00:14:05,584 Well, now you know me. 287 00:14:05,617 --> 00:14:09,017 Apparently you don't know me. 288 00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,550 I would never fold my dress over a chair. 289 00:14:14,584 --> 00:14:18,550 I'd slip it on a hanger-- A wooden one. 290 00:14:18,584 --> 00:14:21,317 I could see killing a tree to make that happen. 291 00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:25,984 Pay for the drinks 292 00:14:26,017 --> 00:14:27,950 while I pop to the ladies'. 293 00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:47,950 ( heart beating ) 294 00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:09,317 Stan! 295 00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:11,017 Stan! 296 00:15:13,250 --> 00:15:15,984 What the hell are you doing? 297 00:15:23,806 --> 00:15:25,773 Here's some water. 298 00:15:25,806 --> 00:15:27,773 Want something stronger? 299 00:15:27,806 --> 00:15:29,273 I'll get it. 300 00:15:29,306 --> 00:15:30,773 Uh, yeah. 301 00:15:30,806 --> 00:15:32,273 Some vodka. 302 00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:33,973 It's in the freezer. 303 00:15:36,306 --> 00:15:39,806 So, not that I'm the jealous type, 304 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,273 but is this a habit of yours, 305 00:15:42,306 --> 00:15:45,340 following strange women out into the street? 306 00:15:45,373 --> 00:15:48,640 Oh, yeah, a really bad one. 307 00:15:48,673 --> 00:15:51,540 Say, you didn't notice 308 00:15:51,573 --> 00:15:53,640 anything unusual about this woman? 309 00:15:55,473 --> 00:15:58,040 You mean, besides the bad Dye job, 310 00:15:58,073 --> 00:16:01,040 crummy lipstick, and those shoes? 311 00:16:01,073 --> 00:16:03,306 No, nothing. 312 00:16:06,806 --> 00:16:08,940 Are you all right? 313 00:16:08,973 --> 00:16:13,273 My doctor keeps telling me that too many antacid tablets 314 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,273 are bad for me. 315 00:16:15,306 --> 00:16:18,273 I'm beginning to think he's right. 316 00:16:18,306 --> 00:16:20,273 You know how it is. 317 00:16:20,306 --> 00:16:22,273 A guy gets indigestion, 318 00:16:22,306 --> 00:16:25,806 suddenly he thinks he's got a tumor growing inside of him. 319 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,273 It's conspiracy on a molecular level. 320 00:16:28,306 --> 00:16:29,940 You said it, sister. 321 00:16:29,973 --> 00:16:31,806 And it's insidious. 322 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:35,306 And there's nothing we can do about it. 323 00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:40,273 So, this other woman. 324 00:16:40,306 --> 00:16:45,273 Clearly I'm going to have to do something 325 00:16:45,306 --> 00:16:48,306 to make you forget about her. 326 00:16:50,306 --> 00:16:52,306 What other woman? 327 00:16:53,806 --> 00:16:57,773 I think I've changed my mind about that image I had of you. 328 00:16:57,806 --> 00:16:59,206 Oh, yeah? 329 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,873 You'd look even better 330 00:17:00,906 --> 00:17:03,506 with this outfit right here on the floor. 331 00:17:12,806 --> 00:17:17,640 That mouth of yours is a dangerous weapon. 332 00:17:17,673 --> 00:17:19,806 Tell me about it. 333 00:17:22,406 --> 00:17:25,073 So, would you really quit 334 00:17:25,106 --> 00:17:27,706 if they forced you to apologize? 335 00:17:29,806 --> 00:17:33,273 Where did that come from? 336 00:17:33,306 --> 00:17:36,273 I have a confession to make. 337 00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:40,073 I'm not actually an occasional listener. 338 00:17:42,306 --> 00:17:46,773 The ugly truth comes out. 339 00:17:46,806 --> 00:17:48,773 You listen all the time? 340 00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:50,273 No, no, no. 341 00:17:50,306 --> 00:17:52,273 Not when you're on vacation. 342 00:17:52,306 --> 00:17:54,606 I don't do "best of" shows. 343 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,606 I prefer it live and in my face. 344 00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:00,706 I guess I sort of saw it coming. 345 00:18:00,740 --> 00:18:03,106 What can I say? 346 00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:05,273 You inspired me. 347 00:18:05,306 --> 00:18:10,773 Like the way you handled that guy who killed himself. 348 00:18:10,806 --> 00:18:12,273 My Buddy Eldon. 349 00:18:12,306 --> 00:18:14,273 Mm-hmm. 350 00:18:14,306 --> 00:18:17,506 I could have called in my support, 351 00:18:17,540 --> 00:18:21,606 but actions speak so much louder than words. 352 00:18:24,340 --> 00:18:27,906 I thought you guys were clear on the apology issue. 353 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,773 It's not going to happen. 354 00:18:29,806 --> 00:18:31,773 It's going to happen, or else. 355 00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:34,273 You've made a bad situation worse. 356 00:18:34,306 --> 00:18:36,773 Our advertisers are going off their nut. 357 00:18:36,806 --> 00:18:39,806 Not to mention the effect you had 358 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,306 If Stan's not willing to help us, 359 00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:45,773 we'll have to re-Evaluate our willingness to help Stan. 360 00:18:45,806 --> 00:18:48,606 Jules Mason, our afternoon guy, could do it. 361 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,106 Jules sucks. 362 00:18:50,140 --> 00:18:51,906 Ask the believers 363 00:18:51,940 --> 00:18:55,573 what they'd like Stan to say, and he could read it on the air. 364 00:18:55,606 --> 00:18:57,440 You know, that sounds tempting. 365 00:18:57,473 --> 00:19:00,206 You would let those psychos put words in his mouth? 366 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,173 Would all of you please shut up? 367 00:19:02,206 --> 00:19:04,073 Trudy? 368 00:19:04,106 --> 00:19:05,873 You're brilliant. 369 00:19:05,906 --> 00:19:07,506 If they want a soapbox, 370 00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:10,673 we'd be stupid not to give it to them. 371 00:19:10,706 --> 00:19:12,640 I was being sarcastic. 372 00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:14,806 A 50,000 Watt megaphone 373 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,073 So they can tell the world 374 00:19:17,106 --> 00:19:19,340 that we're surrounded by martians. 375 00:19:19,373 --> 00:19:21,840 It'll be like shooting turkeys with a bazooka. 376 00:19:21,873 --> 00:19:25,306 You want to drive another one of these schmucks to suicide? 377 00:19:25,340 --> 00:19:29,140 Whoever the guy is, I'll give him an open Mike. 378 00:19:29,173 --> 00:19:31,240 I don't think your Listeners will go for that. 379 00:19:31,273 --> 00:19:33,273 What do you want to bet 380 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,740 that the believers make total fools of themselves? 381 00:19:35,773 --> 00:19:37,806 We'll ask them about Eldon, 382 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,273 what they think happened. 383 00:19:39,306 --> 00:19:41,306 I'm dying to hear their explanation. 384 00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:44,140 That way the radio station's 385 00:19:44,173 --> 00:19:46,140 our listeners get a good laugh 386 00:19:46,173 --> 00:19:49,873 and maybe finally we'll have something else to talk about. 387 00:19:51,806 --> 00:19:54,573 I hope you know what you're doing. 388 00:19:54,606 --> 00:19:57,273 What's the matter? You don't trust me anymore. 389 00:19:57,306 --> 00:19:59,773 It's the believers I'm worried about. 390 00:19:59,806 --> 00:20:01,773 ( intercom ) Stan, your guests are here. 391 00:20:01,806 --> 00:20:03,273 Send them in. 392 00:20:03,306 --> 00:20:05,773 I thought they were going to send one guy. 393 00:20:05,806 --> 00:20:08,273 Two people-- Twice as much fun. 394 00:20:08,306 --> 00:20:10,273 If I were babe Ruth, 395 00:20:10,306 --> 00:20:12,773 I'd be pointing toward the bleachers. 396 00:20:12,806 --> 00:20:14,440 Mr. Harbinger? Nice to meet you. 397 00:20:14,473 --> 00:20:15,940 I'm Moses Saxon. 398 00:20:15,973 --> 00:20:17,440 Oh, yeah, hi, Moses. 399 00:20:17,473 --> 00:20:20,340 You already know my associate, Ms. Kipling. 400 00:20:20,373 --> 00:20:22,840 How are you, Stan? 401 00:20:25,973 --> 00:20:27,773 Stan, talk to me. 402 00:20:27,806 --> 00:20:29,273 What's going on? 403 00:20:29,306 --> 00:20:30,806 She's a believer. 404 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:34,140 Time is running out for people on this planet. 405 00:20:34,173 --> 00:20:36,906 No wonder you left me before I woke up. 406 00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:38,606 You two slept together? 407 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,540 Okay, I don't think we should do this. 408 00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,040 We have a deal. 409 00:20:43,073 --> 00:20:44,806 We're back from commercial 410 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,306 I say we blow it off. 411 00:20:46,340 --> 00:20:48,340 Surely you're not afraid of us. 412 00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:50,173 Don't flatter yourself. 413 00:20:50,206 --> 00:20:52,140 Unless you don't want your audience to know 414 00:20:52,173 --> 00:20:54,173 that you saw an alien several nights ago. 415 00:20:54,206 --> 00:20:56,273 What are you talking about? 416 00:20:56,306 --> 00:20:58,040 We're back in 20. 417 00:20:58,073 --> 00:21:01,773 You know the truth and you refuse to reveal it. 418 00:21:01,806 --> 00:21:03,273 Sit down. 419 00:21:03,306 --> 00:21:05,340 Trudy, set up their mikes. 420 00:21:05,373 --> 00:21:06,940 Okay. 421 00:21:11,306 --> 00:21:13,773 No, uh, editorializing. 422 00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,573 That's the deal. 423 00:21:15,606 --> 00:21:17,040 Hey, it's Stan harbinger. 424 00:21:17,073 --> 00:21:18,540 We're back at ya. 425 00:21:18,573 --> 00:21:22,773 Before the break, I told you we had a very special guest. 426 00:21:22,806 --> 00:21:24,373 Well, I lied. 427 00:21:24,406 --> 00:21:26,040 We have two guests. 428 00:21:26,073 --> 00:21:28,306 Our first is Moses Saxon. 429 00:21:28,340 --> 00:21:31,906 Moses is a creepy-Looking guy with bad skin 430 00:21:31,940 --> 00:21:35,073 who I haven't gotten to know yet 431 00:21:35,106 --> 00:21:37,406 and don't think I will. 432 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,773 His cohort is Darcy... 433 00:21:40,806 --> 00:21:43,173 Darcy, what is your last name? 434 00:21:43,206 --> 00:21:44,773 Kipling. 435 00:21:44,806 --> 00:21:46,273 Kipling. 436 00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:48,206 Well, that's a different story. 437 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,273 Darcy and I are old friends. 438 00:21:50,306 --> 00:21:53,273 In fact, you could say that we both know 439 00:21:53,306 --> 00:21:56,306 what the other looks like drunk and naked. 440 00:21:56,340 --> 00:21:58,473 Don't we, sweetie? 441 00:21:58,506 --> 00:21:59,806 Our agreement was-- 442 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,606 Eat me. 443 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:05,706 Come on, Darcy, tell my listeners how good I was. 444 00:22:05,740 --> 00:22:07,773 You were great. 445 00:22:07,806 --> 00:22:09,773 Put a big smile on my face. 446 00:22:09,806 --> 00:22:11,973 And you put a big smile on mine. 447 00:22:12,006 --> 00:22:14,340 Two big smiles. 448 00:22:14,373 --> 00:22:16,373 I want to say that the believers 449 00:22:16,406 --> 00:22:18,706 have no quarrel with you, Mr. Harbinger. 450 00:22:18,740 --> 00:22:22,273 We believe in the truth as much as you do. 451 00:22:22,306 --> 00:22:23,973 Is that right? 452 00:22:24,006 --> 00:22:26,373 ( taped laughter ) 453 00:22:26,406 --> 00:22:29,040 And the truth is, earth is being colonized 454 00:22:29,073 --> 00:22:31,440 by beings from another part of the galaxy. 455 00:22:31,473 --> 00:22:34,273 For the moment, their numbers are too few 456 00:22:34,306 --> 00:22:35,906 to guarantee success, 457 00:22:35,940 --> 00:22:39,273 so while they wait for more of their kind to arrive, 458 00:22:39,306 --> 00:22:42,406 they live covertly Inside people like Eldon Devries. 459 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,840 Do you have an alien slumming inside of you? 460 00:22:45,873 --> 00:22:48,940 It is possible, and I'd have no way of knowing. 461 00:22:48,973 --> 00:22:52,173 Most aliens' hosts are ordinary people who are unaware 462 00:22:52,206 --> 00:22:54,440 of the awful thing living inside of them. 463 00:22:54,473 --> 00:22:58,673 But sometimes that control the aliens have, it breaks down. 464 00:22:58,706 --> 00:23:00,140 We don't know why. 465 00:23:00,173 --> 00:23:01,706 That's what happened to Eldon. 466 00:23:01,740 --> 00:23:03,206 He became aware 467 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,340 and he in turn tried to make us aware through you. 468 00:23:06,373 --> 00:23:10,473 Which episode of Dr. Who 469 00:23:10,506 --> 00:23:12,173 ( heart beating ) 470 00:23:15,306 --> 00:23:18,740 You saw Eldon Devries die, Mr. Harbinger. 471 00:23:18,773 --> 00:23:21,773 You saw the alien inside of him vacate Eldon's body. 472 00:23:21,806 --> 00:23:23,806 Why won't you tell the truth about it? 473 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,740 Maybe because it didn't happen. 474 00:23:25,773 --> 00:23:27,273 You've been sensitized 475 00:23:27,306 --> 00:23:29,773 to the light frequency in which the aliens live. 476 00:23:29,806 --> 00:23:31,406 In fact, you've seen 477 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,573 at least one other alien since Eldon, haven't you? 478 00:23:34,606 --> 00:23:37,906 You told Ms. Kipling yourself that you have seen aliens, 479 00:23:37,940 --> 00:23:41,306 that you saw the alien that emerged from Eldon Devries. 480 00:23:41,340 --> 00:23:43,206 Your listeners deserve to know 481 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,940 what you said the other night. 482 00:23:45,973 --> 00:23:47,473 The ugly truth 483 00:23:47,506 --> 00:23:49,306 about Eldon is, he was right. 484 00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:50,806 I didn't say that. 485 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,373 The ugly truth comes out. 486 00:23:53,406 --> 00:23:56,406 It was something-- Inside of him. 487 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,373 An alien? Yeah. 488 00:23:58,406 --> 00:23:59,840 It's insidious. 489 00:23:59,873 --> 00:24:01,740 There's nothing we can do about it. 490 00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:03,940 There's nothing we can do about it. 491 00:24:03,973 --> 00:24:06,173 This tape is completely fabricated. 492 00:24:06,206 --> 00:24:08,773 Are you saying that it's not your voice? 493 00:24:08,806 --> 00:24:10,173 Do tell us the truth. 494 00:24:10,206 --> 00:24:13,373 What did you see as Eldon Devries was dying? 495 00:24:13,406 --> 00:24:15,306 Just say it, Mr. Harbinger. 496 00:24:15,340 --> 00:24:17,273 Tell the audience what you saw. 497 00:24:17,306 --> 00:24:18,806 Stan! 498 00:24:21,338 --> 00:24:23,705 What the hell were you thinking? 499 00:24:23,738 --> 00:24:25,205 The guy set me up. 500 00:24:25,238 --> 00:24:28,205 Stan, you attacked the man on the air. 501 00:24:28,238 --> 00:24:31,238 I should have killed the son of a bitch. 502 00:24:31,272 --> 00:24:33,705 You're lucky he's not pressing charges. 503 00:24:33,738 --> 00:24:35,205 Don't be a jellyfish. 504 00:24:35,238 --> 00:24:36,705 You don't get it. 505 00:24:36,738 --> 00:24:38,705 Well, get this-- It's over. 506 00:24:38,738 --> 00:24:40,705 You don't work here anymore. 507 00:24:40,738 --> 00:24:43,205 That's exactly what they want you to do. 508 00:24:43,238 --> 00:24:44,705 That's fine, that's fine. 509 00:24:44,738 --> 00:24:46,205 It's over. They win. 510 00:24:46,238 --> 00:24:49,205 Phil, you don't want to do this. 511 00:24:49,238 --> 00:24:50,705 Look, we're fired, okay? 512 00:24:50,738 --> 00:24:52,705 There's a trillion people out there 513 00:24:52,738 --> 00:24:54,705 who want to be in business with us. 514 00:24:54,738 --> 00:24:56,738 Provided you don't kill them first. 515 00:24:56,772 --> 00:24:58,205 I'll go a couple rounds with you. 516 00:24:58,238 --> 00:24:59,738 Go to hell, Jules. 517 00:24:59,772 --> 00:25:01,638 You wish you could do what Stan does. 518 00:25:01,672 --> 00:25:03,238 I'll remember that 519 00:25:03,272 --> 00:25:05,205 when I'm in syndication instead of him. 520 00:25:05,238 --> 00:25:07,238 I got to hand it to you, Darcy. 521 00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:09,705 You're a woman of many talents. 522 00:25:09,738 --> 00:25:12,205 I wasn't supposed to sleep with you. 523 00:25:12,238 --> 00:25:14,238 I did that because I wanted to. 524 00:25:14,272 --> 00:25:16,738 The truth is, Stan, I like you. 525 00:25:16,772 --> 00:25:19,205 Oh, yeah, well, I like you too. 526 00:25:19,238 --> 00:25:21,205 So what was that? 527 00:25:21,238 --> 00:25:24,205 Some kind of bonus? 528 00:25:24,238 --> 00:25:27,205 I didn't catch anything from you, did I? 529 00:25:27,238 --> 00:25:29,205 You have to believe me. 530 00:25:29,238 --> 00:25:32,238 Getting you thrown off the air was not our goal. 531 00:25:32,272 --> 00:25:35,238 All we wanted was for you to tell the damn truth. 532 00:25:35,272 --> 00:25:39,138 The truth? Like that tape you manufactured? 533 00:25:39,172 --> 00:25:40,705 We're at war, Stan. 534 00:25:40,738 --> 00:25:42,338 War changes everything. 535 00:25:42,372 --> 00:25:44,872 And the truth is, you have seen aliens. 536 00:25:44,905 --> 00:25:48,338 The woman in the bar. What was so unusual about her? 537 00:25:48,372 --> 00:25:50,838 There could be a thousand other explanations. 538 00:25:50,872 --> 00:25:54,838 Tell me about the sounds you've been hearing then. 539 00:25:54,872 --> 00:25:57,572 Most people who report sightings also report hearing 540 00:25:57,605 --> 00:25:59,838 the distinctive alien triple heartbeat. 541 00:25:59,872 --> 00:26:01,972 ( tapping ) 542 00:26:02,005 --> 00:26:04,105 Look, 543 00:26:04,138 --> 00:26:06,205 given the right time, place, 544 00:26:06,238 --> 00:26:08,105 circumstances. 545 00:26:08,138 --> 00:26:09,638 Are you going to deny 546 00:26:09,672 --> 00:26:11,505 the headaches you've been having? 547 00:26:11,538 --> 00:26:13,838 They're terrible, and they never go away. 548 00:26:13,872 --> 00:26:16,205 It's the light that's doing it. 549 00:26:16,238 --> 00:26:18,805 Our human brains don't normally perceive 550 00:26:18,838 --> 00:26:20,705 the light frequencies in which the aliens exist. 551 00:26:20,738 --> 00:26:22,472 But if you can see the light... 552 00:26:22,505 --> 00:26:24,272 you can see the truth. 553 00:26:24,305 --> 00:26:28,372 You should see all the evidence we've accumulated. 554 00:26:28,405 --> 00:26:30,372 Stan, let us help you 555 00:26:30,405 --> 00:26:33,338 before the aliens start screwing with you. 556 00:26:33,372 --> 00:26:36,938 They want you to think that you're going crazy. 557 00:26:36,972 --> 00:26:38,505 I'm not going crazy! 558 00:26:48,472 --> 00:26:51,072 How do you feel about that guy killing himself because of you? 559 00:26:51,105 --> 00:26:52,372 I'm Eldon. 560 00:26:52,405 --> 00:26:54,105 Been waiting, waiting for you. 561 00:26:54,138 --> 00:26:56,372 He's trying to get out! 562 00:26:59,405 --> 00:27:01,372 They're inside people. 563 00:27:01,405 --> 00:27:03,505 Lots of people. 564 00:27:03,538 --> 00:27:05,005 But it's not my fault. 565 00:27:05,038 --> 00:27:07,372 Do tell us the truth. 566 00:27:07,405 --> 00:27:10,138 You saw an alien emerge from him, didn't you? 567 00:27:10,172 --> 00:27:12,405 You're saying that it's not our voice? 568 00:27:12,438 --> 00:27:15,705 It's the light that's doing it to you, Stan. 569 00:27:15,738 --> 00:27:17,505 If you can see the light... 570 00:27:17,538 --> 00:27:19,838 It's the believers I'm worried about. 571 00:27:19,872 --> 00:27:22,405 Surely you're not afraid of us, Mr. Harbinger. 572 00:27:22,438 --> 00:27:24,938 That tape is completely fabricated. 573 00:27:24,972 --> 00:27:31,305 They want you to think that you're going crazy. 574 00:27:31,338 --> 00:27:34,205 I don't know why I didn't see it before, 575 00:27:34,238 --> 00:27:37,705 that's the kind of garbage these bastards are into. 576 00:27:37,738 --> 00:27:40,838 Now, mind you-- 577 00:27:40,872 --> 00:27:43,738 This isn't exactly what their alien looks like. 578 00:27:43,772 --> 00:27:45,705 The skin's not right, and the eyes. 579 00:27:45,738 --> 00:27:47,205 Oh, my god! 580 00:27:47,238 --> 00:27:48,705 I'm not making this up. 581 00:27:48,738 --> 00:27:50,205 What about Eldon, okay? 582 00:27:50,238 --> 00:27:51,872 Was he wearing a Mask? 583 00:27:51,905 --> 00:27:55,472 You're starting to sound like one of them. 584 00:27:55,505 --> 00:27:57,705 Stan, I've been talking to some people. 585 00:27:57,738 --> 00:27:59,705 Some of the smaller markets, 586 00:27:59,738 --> 00:28:02,905 real rathole stations with nothing to lose 587 00:28:02,938 --> 00:28:05,738 and they might be willing to give us a shot. 588 00:28:05,772 --> 00:28:08,205 Are you interested? 589 00:28:08,238 --> 00:28:11,172 Trudy, I think you hit on something. 590 00:28:11,205 --> 00:28:14,938 I'm so glad to hear you say that. 591 00:28:14,972 --> 00:28:17,205 It's going to take some time, 592 00:28:17,238 --> 00:28:19,705 but if we can start with the smaller markets 593 00:28:19,738 --> 00:28:21,705 and then platform into the bigger ones... 594 00:28:21,738 --> 00:28:23,538 Eldon was one of them. 595 00:28:23,572 --> 00:28:25,205 He was in on it. 596 00:28:25,238 --> 00:28:28,338 They put on a whole show For my benefit, 597 00:28:28,372 --> 00:28:31,272 rig it with smoke and fire, 598 00:28:31,305 --> 00:28:33,772 yank a body out of the morgue. 599 00:28:33,805 --> 00:28:35,705 Don't you see, Trudy? 600 00:28:35,738 --> 00:28:38,338 Eldon's alive-- I bet my life on it. 601 00:28:38,372 --> 00:28:41,038 He's alive, and I'm going to prove it. 602 00:28:43,238 --> 00:28:45,205 ( woman ) As far as I'm concerned, 603 00:28:45,238 --> 00:28:48,705 that Stan harbinger is the scum of the earth. 604 00:28:48,738 --> 00:28:51,205 I don't care that he's out of work. 605 00:28:51,238 --> 00:28:53,205 That's not going to bring Eldon back. 606 00:28:53,238 --> 00:28:54,705 Vindictive? 607 00:28:54,738 --> 00:28:56,672 Morty, don't you understand? 608 00:28:56,705 --> 00:29:00,138 I'm not suing him for me, I'm suing him for Eldon! 609 00:29:00,172 --> 00:29:02,138 My head is splitting. 610 00:29:02,172 --> 00:29:04,705 I've got to go lie down. 611 00:29:04,738 --> 00:29:06,738 ( heart beating ) 612 00:29:45,138 --> 00:29:47,738 ( footsteps approaching ) 613 00:29:50,972 --> 00:29:52,972 ( heart beating ) 614 00:30:13,805 --> 00:30:17,605 I don't know how far away it was. 615 00:30:17,638 --> 00:30:22,038 All I know is that it was, or that it seemed like it was. 616 00:30:22,072 --> 00:30:23,605 That sounds right. 617 00:30:23,638 --> 00:30:25,105 We know they use 618 00:30:25,138 --> 00:30:28,238 that spectrum of light for transport and communication. 619 00:30:28,272 --> 00:30:30,705 I didn't give him any of it, Moses. 620 00:30:30,738 --> 00:30:33,338 No...maybe he found it on-Line. 621 00:30:33,372 --> 00:30:36,205 Moses! I saw something, all right? 622 00:30:36,238 --> 00:30:38,538 Something I cannot explain. 623 00:30:38,572 --> 00:30:41,905 Something that is beyond my realm of comprehension! 624 00:30:41,938 --> 00:30:46,238 Do you think I invited you here because I wanted to hang out? 625 00:30:50,638 --> 00:30:52,505 Is that really necessary? 626 00:30:52,538 --> 00:30:54,238 Yes. 627 00:30:54,272 --> 00:30:57,738 It's the only thing that works for my headache. 628 00:30:59,305 --> 00:31:01,138 ( coughing ) 629 00:31:01,172 --> 00:31:02,705 I believe him. 630 00:31:02,738 --> 00:31:04,238 Thank you. 631 00:31:04,272 --> 00:31:06,672 We'll put a watch on the house. 632 00:31:06,705 --> 00:31:10,172 A watch? People need to know about this. 633 00:31:10,205 --> 00:31:13,605 For the moment I prefer that we not tip them off. 634 00:31:13,638 --> 00:31:16,705 But there is an alien living in that house 635 00:31:16,738 --> 00:31:19,205 having lightwave conversations with... 636 00:31:19,238 --> 00:31:23,338 with some kind of starship. 637 00:31:23,372 --> 00:31:25,905 Will you listen to me... 638 00:31:25,938 --> 00:31:28,205 I got to go. That's it? 639 00:31:28,238 --> 00:31:29,705 Look, I believe you. 640 00:31:29,738 --> 00:31:31,205 I want to help! 641 00:31:31,238 --> 00:31:33,072 We'd prefer that you didn't. 642 00:31:33,105 --> 00:31:35,038 Stan, when you lost your job, 643 00:31:35,072 --> 00:31:36,905 you compromised your usefulness to us. 644 00:31:36,938 --> 00:31:38,705 Right now you're a pariah. 645 00:31:38,738 --> 00:31:40,272 A pariah? 646 00:31:40,305 --> 00:31:43,205 For Everyone's sake, just do as you're told. 647 00:31:43,238 --> 00:31:46,238 One minute you want me to tell the world 648 00:31:46,272 --> 00:31:49,438 we're surrounded by aliens, the next minute 649 00:31:49,472 --> 00:31:52,238 you want me to shut up about it. 650 00:31:53,738 --> 00:31:56,472 There's something else you should know. 651 00:31:56,505 --> 00:31:58,105 You're in a lot of danger. 652 00:31:58,138 --> 00:32:00,605 It's best if you lie low. 653 00:32:00,638 --> 00:32:02,472 If you don't, they'll come for you. 654 00:32:02,505 --> 00:32:03,972 You're a threat. 655 00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:05,572 More of a threat than you are? 656 00:32:05,605 --> 00:32:07,038 We can't see them. 657 00:32:07,072 --> 00:32:08,905 If they did come for us, 658 00:32:08,938 --> 00:32:10,705 they know they'd be proving us right. 659 00:32:10,738 --> 00:32:14,238 Stan, your only hope is to just disappear. 660 00:32:19,072 --> 00:32:20,538 Thanks for coming, Trudy. 661 00:32:20,572 --> 00:32:21,938 I got an idea. 662 00:32:21,972 --> 00:32:25,238 We get as many stations as we can, all right? 663 00:32:25,272 --> 00:32:28,205 I don't care if There are 10 listeners. 664 00:32:28,238 --> 00:32:31,872 For the last couple of days, I've seen things-- 665 00:32:31,905 --> 00:32:33,705 Things you wouldn't believe. 666 00:32:33,738 --> 00:32:35,905 I'm not sure I believe them. 667 00:32:35,938 --> 00:32:37,705 But they're real. 668 00:32:37,738 --> 00:32:39,705 They're real as can be. 669 00:32:39,738 --> 00:32:41,705 I got to be out there. 670 00:32:41,738 --> 00:32:43,972 I got to make noise about it. 671 00:32:44,005 --> 00:32:46,972 It's great to see that spark in you again, 672 00:32:47,005 --> 00:32:49,105 but the deal is gone. 673 00:32:49,138 --> 00:32:52,205 No, no, you've got to call them back. 674 00:32:52,238 --> 00:32:54,072 You get their numbers. 675 00:32:54,105 --> 00:32:55,705 I'll call them back. 676 00:32:55,738 --> 00:32:57,838 You need to get some help. 677 00:32:57,872 --> 00:33:00,138 No, no, no, no. 678 00:33:00,172 --> 00:33:02,405 Trudy, Trudy. 679 00:33:02,438 --> 00:33:06,138 I know...I haven't been-- 680 00:33:06,172 --> 00:33:07,738 Yeah, you know, um, 681 00:33:07,772 --> 00:33:09,705 I got to tell you that I... 682 00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:11,705 I went back to Phil 683 00:33:11,738 --> 00:33:14,338 and I begged for our jobs back. 684 00:33:14,372 --> 00:33:15,838 He said yes? 685 00:33:15,872 --> 00:33:18,272 He gave me my job back. 686 00:33:18,305 --> 00:33:21,205 I'm producing Jules Mason's new show. 687 00:33:21,238 --> 00:33:24,005 You know, as soon as I feel like 688 00:33:24,038 --> 00:33:26,438 Phil trusts me again, I'll work on him. 689 00:33:26,472 --> 00:33:29,038 He'll bring you back, I know he will. 690 00:33:29,072 --> 00:33:30,538 Get out. 691 00:33:30,572 --> 00:33:32,272 Stan? 692 00:33:32,305 --> 00:33:34,405 No, go on, get out. 693 00:33:40,837 --> 00:33:42,604 So I say to the girl, 694 00:33:42,637 --> 00:33:45,437 "Honey, where did you get the implants?" 695 00:33:45,471 --> 00:33:48,971 I mean, she had breasts 696 00:33:49,004 --> 00:33:51,104 the size of howitzer casings. 697 00:33:51,137 --> 00:33:53,904 Bad boob jobs-- Let's talk about it, people. 698 00:33:53,937 --> 00:33:55,404 Hey, Trudy. 699 00:33:55,437 --> 00:33:57,704 What's it like working with a sane person? 700 00:33:57,737 --> 00:34:00,104 For those of you not in the know, 701 00:34:00,137 --> 00:34:03,037 my producer used to work with Stan harbinger. 702 00:34:03,071 --> 00:34:05,104 Wow, only two weeks off the air, 703 00:34:05,137 --> 00:34:08,004 already relegated to the "where are they now?" file. 704 00:34:08,037 --> 00:34:10,937 Stan's doing just fine. He'll be back soon. 705 00:34:10,971 --> 00:34:12,637 But not on these airwaves. 706 00:34:16,137 --> 00:34:19,104 Wow, it looks like we have our first caller. 707 00:34:19,137 --> 00:34:22,137 Joe, do you have a bad boob job story? 708 00:34:22,171 --> 00:34:24,604 ( Stan ) Yeah, I got 709 00:34:24,637 --> 00:34:27,137 It's not about your boobs, is it, Joe? 710 00:34:27,171 --> 00:34:29,104 This is about something 711 00:34:29,137 --> 00:34:31,037 way more important than that. 712 00:34:31,071 --> 00:34:33,104 More important than boobs? 713 00:34:33,137 --> 00:34:36,037 Well, I guess that would depend on 714 00:34:36,071 --> 00:34:39,771 where the fate of the universe fits into your scheme of things. 715 00:34:39,804 --> 00:34:42,471 Oh, thanks for the call, Joe. 716 00:34:42,504 --> 00:34:44,104 I used to be a cynic, 717 00:34:44,137 --> 00:34:45,737 but then I saw something. 718 00:34:45,771 --> 00:34:47,804 Except when I saw it, 719 00:34:47,837 --> 00:34:52,104 I didn't want to accept that my view of the world 720 00:34:52,137 --> 00:34:54,771 could be so... 721 00:34:54,804 --> 00:34:56,371 wrong. 722 00:34:59,871 --> 00:35:02,871 Is that right, Joe? 723 00:35:02,904 --> 00:35:04,471 What did you see? 724 00:35:04,504 --> 00:35:07,504 I saw the truth. 725 00:35:07,537 --> 00:35:10,604 Aliens are real. 726 00:35:10,637 --> 00:35:12,137 They're here. 727 00:35:12,171 --> 00:35:15,737 They want our planet, and they're going to take it. 728 00:35:15,771 --> 00:35:17,437 Ladies and gentlemen, 729 00:35:17,471 --> 00:35:21,604 it seems we have a very special guest on the phone. 730 00:35:21,637 --> 00:35:23,904 That is you, Stan, isn't it? 731 00:35:23,937 --> 00:35:26,271 The believers were right about Eldon. 732 00:35:26,304 --> 00:35:30,104 When he died, the alien that lived inside him, 733 00:35:30,137 --> 00:35:33,104 he tried to escape. 734 00:35:33,137 --> 00:35:35,104 He died anyway. 735 00:35:35,137 --> 00:35:37,437 And I saw it. 736 00:35:37,471 --> 00:35:39,104 I believe you, Stan. 737 00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:41,104 You're the harbinger of truth. 738 00:35:41,137 --> 00:35:42,637 You wouldn't make up stuff. 739 00:35:42,671 --> 00:35:44,104 Look, you little pissant. 740 00:35:44,137 --> 00:35:45,971 I am not some crackpot. 741 00:35:46,004 --> 00:35:49,271 That's right up there with "I am not a Crook." 742 00:35:49,304 --> 00:35:51,604 Of course you're a crackpot, Stan. 743 00:35:51,637 --> 00:35:54,437 That's why you're there and I'm here. 744 00:35:54,471 --> 00:35:56,437 I'm warning you, Jules. 745 00:35:56,471 --> 00:35:57,937 ( Dial tone ) 746 00:35:57,971 --> 00:35:59,537 Jules. 747 00:36:02,571 --> 00:36:04,604 Stan, I swear to god-- 748 00:36:04,637 --> 00:36:07,137 Nice to see you too, Phil. 749 00:36:08,637 --> 00:36:10,604 Wow, size triple-Ds. 750 00:36:10,637 --> 00:36:12,604 Can I get a picture of them? 751 00:36:12,637 --> 00:36:14,604 Stan, don't! 752 00:36:14,637 --> 00:36:17,504 Get a picture of this. 753 00:36:19,137 --> 00:36:20,604 Please. 754 00:36:20,637 --> 00:36:23,071 Please, you've got to let me see Stan. 755 00:36:23,104 --> 00:36:25,604 The alien died because Eldon killed it. 756 00:36:25,637 --> 00:36:27,604 He forced it into the light. 757 00:36:27,637 --> 00:36:29,604 Our frequency is hard on them, 758 00:36:29,637 --> 00:36:32,104 just like their light frequency is hard on us. 759 00:36:32,137 --> 00:36:35,504 But they can survive if they're in a human host. 760 00:36:35,537 --> 00:36:38,704 I mean, look it up for yourself. 761 00:36:38,737 --> 00:36:41,304 ( Jules ) Stan, we're trying 762 00:36:41,337 --> 00:36:43,804 but you've got to put down the gun. 763 00:36:43,837 --> 00:36:46,604 Stan, we're working to get you back on the air. 764 00:36:46,637 --> 00:36:48,704 But we need more time. 765 00:36:48,737 --> 00:36:50,137 Stop stalling! 766 00:36:50,171 --> 00:36:51,737 Communicate through the computer. 767 00:36:51,771 --> 00:36:55,104 ( Jules ) Are you seeing these aliens 768 00:36:55,137 --> 00:36:57,571 ( Stan ) I'm seeing it because of Eldon. 769 00:36:57,604 --> 00:36:59,637 He showed me the light. 770 00:36:59,671 --> 00:37:02,037 They're saying if you release one of us, 771 00:37:02,071 --> 00:37:03,571 they'll let you broadcast. 772 00:37:03,604 --> 00:37:08,871 I want this Mike hot now, or I'll empty the gun in him. 773 00:37:08,904 --> 00:37:12,471 They're saying they have to speak to you personally. 774 00:37:12,504 --> 00:37:15,704 You want these people to die, is that it? 775 00:37:15,737 --> 00:37:17,271 Oh, my head. 776 00:37:17,304 --> 00:37:21,304 The aliens think This is going to stop me, but they're wrong. 777 00:37:21,337 --> 00:37:23,471 You see, that's the problem. 778 00:37:23,504 --> 00:37:26,604 Eldon didn't know there was an alien inside him 779 00:37:26,637 --> 00:37:28,204 until the very end. 780 00:37:28,237 --> 00:37:31,271 I bet you if I went up to his wife right now 781 00:37:31,304 --> 00:37:35,937 and told her there was an alien inside of her 782 00:37:35,971 --> 00:37:38,104 she'd think I was insane. 783 00:37:38,137 --> 00:37:39,671 You are 784 00:37:39,704 --> 00:37:41,537 I swear to god, Jules. 785 00:37:41,571 --> 00:37:45,604 Put us on the airwaves or there's going to be bloodshed. 786 00:37:45,637 --> 00:37:47,804 Relax, Stan. You win. 787 00:37:47,837 --> 00:37:49,771 We're putting you back on the air. 788 00:37:49,804 --> 00:37:51,271 Good! Do it! 789 00:37:51,304 --> 00:37:54,304 First I'm going to tell you the deal 790 00:37:54,337 --> 00:37:56,604 and it's not negotiable. 791 00:37:56,637 --> 00:37:59,437 I'm going to clear out this building, 792 00:37:59,471 --> 00:38:02,437 then you're going to release the girl. 793 00:38:02,471 --> 00:38:05,804 When she's outside and safe, you're back on the air. 794 00:38:05,837 --> 00:38:08,804 You have five minutes to say your piece, 795 00:38:08,837 --> 00:38:12,271 then you'll put down the gun and walk out. 796 00:38:12,304 --> 00:38:14,504 You're a man of your word, 797 00:38:14,537 --> 00:38:16,204 am I right? 798 00:38:16,237 --> 00:38:18,304 Then the way I just described it, 799 00:38:18,337 --> 00:38:20,337 that's how it's going to be. 800 00:38:22,271 --> 00:38:24,337 I'll see you. 801 00:38:25,871 --> 00:38:29,171 Get that transmitter cranked up. 802 00:38:29,204 --> 00:38:30,904 Yeah. 803 00:38:36,637 --> 00:38:38,604 Trudy, am I on the air? 804 00:38:38,637 --> 00:38:40,104 Loud and clear, Stan. 805 00:38:40,137 --> 00:38:42,604 You're coming out of every radio here. 806 00:38:42,637 --> 00:38:44,137 Good. 807 00:38:46,137 --> 00:38:48,871 I want to talk about the truth. 808 00:38:48,904 --> 00:38:50,971 You know the old saying 809 00:38:51,004 --> 00:38:56,104 "if you talk to god, it's called prayer. 810 00:38:56,137 --> 00:38:58,437 "If god talks to you, 811 00:38:58,471 --> 00:39:01,971 it's called paranoid schizophrenia." 812 00:39:02,004 --> 00:39:05,937 Well, when you think about What the aliens are doing, 813 00:39:05,971 --> 00:39:08,604 I got to hand it to them. 814 00:39:08,637 --> 00:39:12,904 Their strategy is brilliant-- 815 00:39:12,937 --> 00:39:15,037 Divide and conquer. 816 00:39:15,071 --> 00:39:18,671 Make half the world think aliens Do exist. 817 00:39:18,704 --> 00:39:22,204 Make the other half think the first half is crazy. 818 00:39:22,237 --> 00:39:24,804 You keep playing 819 00:39:24,837 --> 00:39:30,504 the ends against the middle while you invade from the rear, 820 00:39:30,537 --> 00:39:35,404 till nobody knows what's what anymore. 821 00:39:35,437 --> 00:39:39,071 And the punchline to this great joke 822 00:39:39,104 --> 00:39:41,404 is that they get people like me 823 00:39:41,437 --> 00:39:43,071 to tell people like you 824 00:39:43,104 --> 00:39:45,604 that people like them don't exist. 825 00:39:45,637 --> 00:39:47,104 ( crackling ) 826 00:39:47,137 --> 00:39:51,104 Let me tell you, I have been wrong. 827 00:39:51,137 --> 00:39:53,104 We are surrounded. 828 00:39:53,137 --> 00:39:55,104 Something's wrong with the signal. 829 00:39:55,137 --> 00:39:58,104 It's like we're kicking out at 10 Watts. 830 00:39:58,137 --> 00:40:00,104 Actually it's 2. 831 00:40:00,137 --> 00:40:02,104 That's what the police wanted. 832 00:40:02,137 --> 00:40:06,604 Frankly, I hate it that we gave in at all. 833 00:40:06,637 --> 00:40:09,104 Son of a bitch! 834 00:40:09,137 --> 00:40:11,737 They could be living inside you. 835 00:40:11,771 --> 00:40:13,437 ( phone dialing ) 836 00:40:13,471 --> 00:40:15,104 Someone you love. 837 00:40:15,137 --> 00:40:16,604 ( phone ringing ) 838 00:40:16,637 --> 00:40:18,404 You hear me, people? 839 00:40:18,437 --> 00:40:20,804 You know what I'm saying is True. 840 00:40:20,837 --> 00:40:22,804 ( heart beating ) 841 00:40:25,971 --> 00:40:27,504 Oh, my god. 842 00:40:30,404 --> 00:40:32,971 What the hell's happening to me? 843 00:40:33,004 --> 00:40:35,037 Oh. 844 00:40:38,637 --> 00:40:40,271 They're in me. 845 00:40:40,304 --> 00:40:42,637 They're in me. 846 00:40:42,671 --> 00:40:44,104 They're in me! 847 00:40:59,904 --> 00:41:01,971 ( heart beating ) 848 00:41:02,004 --> 00:41:04,071 I'm one of them. 849 00:41:06,904 --> 00:41:08,437 Jules, 850 00:41:08,471 --> 00:41:10,004 get out, get out. 851 00:41:10,037 --> 00:41:12,771 They're aliens, Jules. 852 00:41:12,804 --> 00:41:14,371 Run. 853 00:41:14,404 --> 00:41:16,271 Jules, you're surrounded. 854 00:41:16,304 --> 00:41:17,737 Run! 855 00:41:21,137 --> 00:41:23,604 Yeah, we're aliens, all right. 856 00:41:23,637 --> 00:41:25,037 Who isn't? 857 00:41:25,071 --> 00:41:27,137 Must have hurt like hell. 858 00:41:27,171 --> 00:41:29,104 Battle going on between your ears. 859 00:41:29,137 --> 00:41:30,604 Shame. 860 00:41:30,637 --> 00:41:33,537 He was so useful to us. 861 00:41:33,571 --> 00:41:35,971 Won't be easy finding another harbinger of truth. 862 00:41:36,004 --> 00:41:37,471 May I? 863 00:41:37,504 --> 00:41:39,104 No. 864 00:41:39,137 --> 00:41:41,137 Run, Jules. 865 00:41:45,171 --> 00:41:47,204 Damn, he killed the hostage 866 00:41:47,237 --> 00:41:49,037 before we could stop him. 867 00:41:49,071 --> 00:41:51,937 Then when he pointed his gun at us... 868 00:41:51,971 --> 00:41:54,337 you wanted the truth, Stan? 869 00:41:55,404 --> 00:41:56,837 Now you've got it. 870 00:42:31,471 --> 00:42:33,471 It's them. 871 00:42:33,504 --> 00:42:35,837 They're the ones. 872 00:42:35,871 --> 00:42:37,637 They did this to Stan. 873 00:42:37,671 --> 00:42:40,137 Get that nut out of here. 874 00:42:40,171 --> 00:42:42,604 They're not who you think they are. 875 00:42:42,637 --> 00:42:45,137 Listen to me, I'm telling you the truth! 876 00:42:45,171 --> 00:42:48,604 ( control voice ) If we Mock that which 877 00:42:48,637 --> 00:42:51,104 we may learn too late 878 00:42:51,137 --> 00:42:55,071 that the penalty for such Arrogance is annihilation. 879 00:43:13,037 --> 00:43:15,004 Captioning performed by 880 00:43:15,037 --> 00:43:18,537 Western captioning service ltd. Vancouver, B.C. 1998 61857

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