Original subtitles

[Music]

we have surved survived on this planet

for 5 million years today we Face

Extinction male sperm counts are now in

freefall the average man now producing

less than half the sperm their

grandfathers did in their

Prime are we witnessing the beginning of

the end for the human

race are we

doomed every day I ask myself this

question where might we find a Superman

a new Adam to reverse the decline of the

Fertile

[Music]

[Music]

man Valentines don't talk to me about

Bloody Valentines a cynical

collaboration between chocolate

manufacturers and flly Shop owners to

maximize profits in the other way lean

Financial month of February any

post for your M and Raymond love don't

talk to me about love money that's what

makes a world go

around

morning Raymond no cards big

brother too bad Amon too bad you see

your problem is you're just too

sensitive women today are confused

they've got all this Liberation crap but

they still want the hunk on their arm is

not right

baby see that's the problem women think

they're men and men think there should

be women the whole world is upside

down

really youve got to be a real man aan

the biggest and the best that's what my

dad would have said biggest and the last

a man's man

ma and you are

Sheila and hi does Sheila like her eggs

un Mrs

monley a man is in

love how do I

[Music]

know he came walk with

me

he Christ

sake hello how are

you and I'm sure she'll

[Music]

love

[Music]

I he whispered your

name when his eyes were closed

is

[Music]

in amori your love is our

Affair happy Valen day deline

[Music]

pervert bastards Happy Valentine's Day

[Music]

melis is in

love big blue eyes not too bright but

not too stupid gentle but forceful a

good sense of humor but what the serious

side but most of all

Amon buns like a gladiator you know what

I like

son right Miss

dy I got her flowers

ooh Christ sick you get our flowers

every

day why did you just go and talk to her

Aon talk to her yeah do something Aon

even the angel of death has to go out

sometime bastards don't you ever get B

Dem don't you ever like dream of doing

something in your life like what I don't

know like saving the world like that

bics in your comic Superman never really

Saves the World ment that's why there's

a new issue every month

bastard

today men produce only 66 million sperm

per milliliter of semen compared to the

160 million produced by the average

hamster

Mommy a son time wasn't right

Mommy tomorrow you're not like your

daddy at

all baby are you no Mommy I'm not like

my daddy at

all superior quality of rodents for

matoa it would therefore appear that the

domestic pet hamster is now three times

more fertile than the average

[Music]

[Music]

man

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I like

fish

I am sorry Miss Dy no I didn't realize

it was under that sort of

thing well now maybe should try and keep

an open

mind ah yeah there's no call for that

now miss

dony she doesn't want it dead she wants

an Inquisition

why can't people just accept each other

for who they

are I spoke to we girl today wouldn't

look at a fell who earned less than 15

grand a

year

bastards he's not got the old out

there I'm the Virgin

Mary Superman aren't you a bit old for

that so tell me

Superman if you've got x-ray vision what

color neckers am I

wearing but I'm not wearing an in case

you're wondering what way you worked my

shay never judge a banana by its skin

there's one thing I've learned in life

as the best lover is the ones you least

expect all takes is a woman who knows

what she's doing a woman like you a

woman with new

neg here he is your boyfriend

[Applause]

Gusty so you're not a homosexual cuz Mrs

rear and up at the spa now her son is a

homosexual and he is a very nice lad

I'll just ask him to tea maybe on

Thursday I mean you never I'm not a

homosexual well what is the matter with

you son just because I'm not chasing

skirts doesn't mean there's something

the matter with me I'm looking for love

who is talking about love I am talking

about sex sexual intercourse it is the

most beautiful thing on God's Earth and

it is our enjoyment and appreciation of

it that separates us from the beasts but

she's the woman for me

Ma I knew it the first time I saw

her the first time I met your father God

Rest his soul all I saw was that tight

we ARS like two boiled eggs and a

[Music]

[Applause]

bag it couldn't sing very well

but he could shag like a

lion it's not like that with rosim ma i'

die for her oh that's right Aon she'll

love you that much better whenever

you're dead and lying in one of her

coffins look son if she's worth it

she'll see you for who you

are what's there to

see

so I ask Mr is it meant to be that

SM but he stood there in his socks with

his thing sticking up like like a little

lost

mushroom

St sorry it's enough for Di enough for

Di what would someone like me do with

MyFord is Young I'm 24 years old I work

in a dead agency and I live with my M

that could be worse have you met my

mom oh I said to him you're not putting

that we thing on me might get lost I'll

never find it

again we say girls it's not the size of

the spage it's a TI of

[Laughter]

the hello

gorgeous I've had my eye on you human

man

you know my favorite fairy tale when I

was we girl L the one of the princess

cuz it's the ugly toad in Kaz it's been

my inspiration in life you see and I'll

tell you I have snug some toads in my

time once in a while a prince comes

along to make it all

worthwhile are you a prince hon I am I

am a

prince

do you like the screw don't

know Jesus Mar and 11 Apostles don't

tell me you have never dunked your

biscuit have you biscuit he's a virgin

he's a blant virgin sweet Jesus I bet

you don't even know where to put it I

saw some robots at school oh

[Applause]

[Music]

Jesus

marry what is it

Superman I

lied I never saw any

Rams don't you worry sweet

Beat I've seen hundreds of

them I don't easily do this take it easy

son it's like right in the bicycle just

hold on the handlebars keep paddling

pading right enough

Amon God love you

son

Mary

Mary

[Music]

don't take this person

the the girl has to be careful these

[Music]

days look Love No

Love

Up Up and

[Music]

Away come on super come on just pull on

the H bar keep

paddling keep paddling keep paddling man

man

f

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[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

Jesus

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I

[Music]

I so be careful out there it's Friday

the 13th and who knows where bad luck

lies and now if you're planning anything

important today don't I've got a bad

feeling about this one right it's 8:37

you're Trucking with tricky nck until

[Music]

10:00 no Parks illegally in Friday the

13th they think they'll get a ticket

well they friend

not at all this is the one day of the

year I declare an amnesty but I can't

find any cars not to give a ticket too

you know something Frank something tells

me today is going to be the best day of

my

life Bloody

Egypt Amore you lovees our Affair delie

you right R WR

Cricket

[ __ ] excuse

me morning medicon the

H it's not right you hanging around the

dead all day long you should be out

having fun being happy is that not for

Uncle Eugene I'm just saying it there's

many a man a die for a date with you I

mean what have you got to lose Rosemary

my pride confidence dignity and sense of

humor I remember remember your father

when he was your age he was a grand fell

for the love your father he walked down

the street stood beneath your M's window

and he wouldn't take no for an answer

much good it did him a kodan just like

her mother but I'm telling you when that

bolt of lightning strikes you'll fall

just as hard as she

did

go on read it myad dog Billy Wilson is

one of the most feared and ruthless

paramilitaries to have survived the

troubles in nor

isand feared and

ruthless I hear those lovely flowers

for

what is it winky don't call me that here

I am risking life and limb bringing

fragrant and fertile gifts into this God

forsaken pit of people seage don't talk

like that how can you work with these

people Rosie the provos killed your M

just because my mommy died in a car

crash in Dublin does not mean the IRA

killed her you're a good Protestant girl

Ry you should be amongst good Protestant

people no how's about a we hug for Billy

Wilson or would you like to stick your

tongues down my

[Music]

throat C

down

listen it's like I'm surfing away about

to break I just woke up with the feeling

that today was going to be

lucky I looked in the

mirror and I

thought Rin B does that mean you're

going to see the fair Mary again

a it's just today I think I could do

anything I set my

mind shake like a

Lon can I help

you

you're the nervous one aren't

you oh well that's Freddy the 13th for

you things go wrong the World Turns

backwards all that

stuff are you still

there do you know

something every morning I buy a bunch of

flowers hoping to give them to the women

in my dreams I always end up giving them

to my mom the daily confirmation that

things never turn out the way you'd

hoped no you don't understand it's like

anything is possible even

love I don't think so F never did anyone

any

favors

see would you go out to dinner with

me what would the woman of your dreams

have to say about that you tell

me what's your name

Emon Emon Manley I would like that Aon

sorry dinner he would I like fish

fish right

fish when next Tuesday St Patrick's

[Music]

Day

I have to get back to

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

work

[Music]

open this door open this bloody door

before I open up for you open up your

bastard open that up

ey s Mary M I haven't seen you since

your confirmation Mary bloody son my son

raymon Aon Aon bloody manly n Aon Aon

hasn't done he shouldn't has

he wake up your we Basel wake up I'm not

your M you snake well going to be

someone's bleeding my you I'm in trouble

what

trouble what have you done I'm

pregnant but but you used protection you

used a lot of protection so it's a

blading Miracle the [ __ ] Immaculate

Conception what do I know all I know is

an airblade mons I'm going to be a mommy

well how do you know it's mine

what do you think I am some kind of [ __ ]

I've did the right thing by you

Mary what to you earn Superman 8,000 a

year plus

bonuses

Jesus Jesus but you'll tell no one if a

breath of this gets out I'll come back

with a blunt knife and fig your Goonies

to the dogs

understood someone else to K the account

for this someone with the me to look

after

me no one knows

Christ [ __ ] believe it

any Mary

don't don't ever speak to me again

okay with birth rates in the Catholic

Community increasing many Protestants

fear they'll no longer be in the

majority in Northern Ireland wh me now

is unionist activist Billy

Wilson oh we got nothing to worry about

kid us Protestants have always been the

majority in the province always will be

come referendum we'll win just wait and

see [ __ ] PR shouldn't it be more of

us than the res of them I'm going send

them back

BR they were born here

Raymond you stand there like a great

Jenny on what sort of Irish man are you

the war is over Raymond no one wants to

know anymore is that right we'll see

just don't come crying to me when the

boys come looking for you in the middle

of the

night something this special should last

forever oh

bye

you look

beautiful come on Dr

shago

starving

thank

you

fish do you know the fish eat their

babies is that red soda hamsters that's

interesting what are we doing here

getting to know each other sort of like

a tear Strife you mean no it's a first

day so now I talk about myself for a

while I like to read this is going well

what do you read novels mostly Russian

novels they seem to lead such simple

lives of Russians in the country you

know bacon bread farming pigs I

sometimes think I'd like to have been a

Russian Al PHS I used to go to the

Saturday mad with my D what ises he

doing he was a singer in a

band I they said he couldn't sing very

well but he could check

me he passed on I'm sorry it's okay he

was only

I didn't really know

him everyone liked him a real man they

called him a real Jack the L my M said

he had this huge funeral everyone came

you'd have loved

it you tell me on a first date you need

be keeping my glass

first what about your folks my lost them

both just caress I

guess my mother died young and in the

end my father couldn't live without her

so when he died I came to love with my

Uncle Eugene at the funeral parlor

spooky huh what was your M like did you

know her my m h no not

really I remember she used to sing me a

song what song I don't know I can't

remember what like a l something like

that it was just a song it was popular

back then I when my m think she sar's

milk go

on I won't tell

anyone

please she ain't got no Mone clothes are

kind of f hair is kind of wild and

free oh but love grows Where My Rosemary

Goes and nobody knows like

me you're know what I

expected why is

that I don't

know your hair Ammon you're Ammon aren't

you I've heard about you you and my

friend Mary Mary Mar excuse me you can

help me aan 13 years I've been trying

and I'm not getting any younger what are

you talking about you helped Mary all

right sure you did you helped her that

night m is my time up should I leave no

please don't leave Rosie it's fine has

it worked miracle for you yet love what

do you mean are you who's

Mary

uh uh no a and I earn a decent wage it's

not right that a good honest fruitful

woman should be denied her chance of

Happiness just because him and Rome

doesn't like test tubes I don't know

you

please don't go yet that woman she was

just a cent at the dating agency thanks

for the battered cium and that was no

really you have to listen to me it was

everything I thought it would

be I don't even know

[Music]

her

be real

man a real man oh

Rosie give it to me give me your part

like you give to Mary

[Music]

mallerie give it to me give me your I

can give it to Mary mallerie yes yes yes

yes yes yes make a baby in me yes yes

yes

yes

yes nothing artificial about that

insemination was

there already the baby is growing within

me big Frank won't believe it Frank my

husband he's the best traffic warden in

the six counties he's one of WS he even

has a medal he just has this condition

but you and me have solved that little

problem now haven't

we come on baby come on you can do

[Music]

it so come on now how was your de he

seemed like a nice boy he did didn't

[Music]

[Applause]

he you did it you did

it thanks to

a

[Music]

thanks

oh

[ __ ]

aen Aon I just wanted to thank it's it's

a miracle I may be strange but your fair

time I'll give you that much name and

mie the most bloody man in

[Music]

Ireland

of is of while

free all

love my

you always do the way you are the little

bounc and

ball I don't like women anymore Mommy I

think I'm going to be homosexual human

I'm scared Ma I'm like that King who

touched everything and it turned to Gold

I breathe and women get pregnant look

son well sort it out you'll be all right

boys born with both male and female sex

organs the list is

extensive these are strange times for

the male species in many ways we're

entering the age of the Redundant male

under the microscope the extent of the

problem is clear the spermatazoa

sluggish malformed crippled without hope

of surviving the perilous Journey to the

egg a healthy cervix littered with the

corpses of dying sperm this is the

progeny of a species on the brink of

Extinction we are big found of your your

show Doctor oh my God what is it take a

look just like a far Tad pools on speed

what

what those are there it's the most

beautiful thing I've ever seen sperm

that could impregnate a stone

mhm I think I'm going to be

sick oh Jee

Jesus cut it off am it's a monster and I

don't want it anymore cut it off now you

see

this this file is thick with women

desperate for a baby of their

own but the church won't let them

consider the scientific

Solutions do you want to do some good in

your life aan I'm very

sorry great there to do so sorry do you

want a

[Music]

help you can make a lot of women very

[Music]

happy all right Aon

you all

right if you could help people if you

had something that could make them happy

beyond their Wildest

Dreams what would you

do look at these people just ordinary

couples desperate for a

baby I can give them what they

want

you're a Marvel I

am am I you're the ultimate fast moving

consumer durable you've got the pool to

create a niche and a push to supply the

demand you're a war man service

industry service industry

hi no no it wouldn't work wouldn't be

right wouldn't be

legal

what you're fine I can't

tomorrow we boms here we boms

come

hi this is Mrs Riley

hello this is my

Jimmy Jimmy looks very

nice

get up get up get up stairs you going

get out get

out

come on Big

Boy

you'll stay for a cup of

[Music]

[Music]

tea I think we're in business

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

l

[Music]

I'm Mrs oror dear Tre and this is my

husband mror no funny business monley

keep one foot in the floor in and out

and leave us the our lunch

right thank you thank you very much

you'll come to the B oh yes oh you're a

pro m a real

Pro

[Music]

a

[Music]

[Music]

sorry

Jesus

God Is it bad

father

we live in interesting times

human our women need babies our men have

no noodles and the church will not abide

artificial

examination you mean you don't

mind the way I see it Amon you're the

lesser of two evils it's you are the

test tube and you're the Natural

Choice thank you

Father wellan as the big man says go for

and multiply and I have to go and T to

my own children don't you mean your

flock father I know what I said

[Music]

Emil do you mind if I smoke go ahead

it's good for

business you know what

gorgeous you need a man who can really

satisfy you like a dead man needs a

RX thank

you lesbian

you all right

Sean

uh

and and

the wrong

[Music]

[Music]

shop Jesus Christ R look at you 5 days a

week 10 women a day how do you do it I

mean I

mean what is it that you do in there

exactly I don't really know

melison I be honest no I always keep my

eyes

shut tell me m do ever think about

having kids you keep away from me

and if my m want a symbol of our love i'

put a we plaque above the bed I like

baby zon but couldn't need a full

one so well how are we doing melon well

if you keep us up manly we are all going

to be very very

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

rich so hard

to every time she walks

another girl in my

neighborhood wish she is M she looks so

good I want to hold her want to hold her

tight teen kicks right through the

[Music]

night really making a

difference wa

Med if the bastards could see us now

this is the prime of my

life I'm

healthy talented you're nearly

Rich it's her

loss Aon even women are like microwave

ovens you need them to heat up your

noodles but you I have no idea how they

work

melison who's Dr

sharo I don't

know sounds

foreign I tell you

melis this sex and money is not all it's

cracked up to be or

champ thanks very

much

[Music]

Belfast

[Music]

who's it he look awful what's

that money that's a money you could buy

a farm R pigs likeing a Russian novel

what'd you get

it he been sleeping keeping with women

for

money of course you have no wait liie

please wait please give me another

chance you've got me all wrong what

happened to your girlfriend there were

never any girlfriends ever look please

Rosie please just one night what have

you got to

L you could take me to the bonfires So

Glorious 12 tomorrow mean the Protestant

fires you mean the fires celebrating how

King Billy beit the Catholics in 1690

you mean the fars where Protestants get

drunk and celebrate the battle of the bo

where they killed loads of Catholics my

dad used to take me all the time we

never messed up so Burn Me

Alive never mind

him

R what about Tuesday or next

Saturday

pleas

[Music]

1

[Music]

Rosie

Rosie if you see I'm a take St me up

what you pop

up please that BR some

C I think his name

was

come on no want will hurt you come on

ruie Rie over here look around you Mr

dating agency you not see people in love

here I

[Music]

maybe told you it was

[Music]

beautiful

now

now it's even your kiss will be tend

and we're going

[Music]

noar I got no you sir thanks very

much tiger Jesus I protect

you with time and patience I'm moved

with

the

lonely in my silence being

without

then straight out all

[Music]

the

[Music]

good out all

the

good

[Music]

summer

shut up

you

mhm

Jesus the man's down a

thirst

we'll go and get him something to

drink I thought you were buying the

drinks I brought the sandwiches you

never said to bring the drinks we'll

[ __ ] go and get him something nice

it's lit nothing will be open and N I

have no money Jesus George you read the

P but Billy read the [ __ ]

face the East and bade is one of the

most feared and ruthless paramilitary

groups that come out of the troubles in

Northern Ireland feared and

ruthless

now I go and find him something to drink

you go I've got the gun well give me the

gun you don't know how to use it you

pull the trigger bang go and get the

[ __ ] drink Club Orange

please he wants a club orange where am I

going to find a club orange at this time

of night

H next time I get the

gun now you little

[ __ ]

you're going to kill me AR you I heard

what he said you're faired and ruthless

you stalked me you kid not me now you're

going to torture me and Sh me in the

back of the head and don't me on waste

ground another innocent Catholic victim

in the troubles don't tempt me you cut

off my ears peret you shut the [ __ ] up I

am not going to hurt

you you're

not no why have you brought my hair then

orders certain powerful people in our

community are very interested in you me

I've not done anything I'm innocent I'm

an innocent mom you little shite you've

heard rumors of another referendum huh

to decide on the future of Northern

Ireland give the man a bond no one knows

when it's going to happen but one thing

for certain when it does whoever's the

majority is going to decide the future

of this country I thought you

Protestants were the majority we are but

the way you Catholic hores are

multiplying that's going to

change that's why we need you

me we have women who want babies whose

man folk can't give them babies and even

our church want abide artificial

insemination you can make them

pregnant and their

babies will be Protestant

babies but I'm Catholic but nobody will

know the difference cuz nobody will say

nothing but you're a wom a fat and

ugly you little V and fairy our women

are the most beautiful in the world the

last 10 Miss northern islands we're all

Protestant that's because the judges

were all PR to listen you tast this

undereducated left foot and

Mick it doesn't matter cuz I ain't

giving it all up no you're giving up

nothing you're [ __ ] for us now boy

but I've met this girl I'm in

love

love I'll give you [ __ ] I can see

even look at you when I'm around you

little piece of Shamrock sh I'm going to

rip your [ __ ] throat out what are you

talking about you don't deserve her you

don't [ __ ] deserve it you have no

idea what I had to go through to get him

a club

orange he's leaving but it's my turn to

hold the gun I told him the deal and

he's going to work with us aren't you

Iman I'll get back to

you he traumatized me I'm afraid it may

have had an adverse

effect I might not be able to get it up

again dear is there anything that I can

do

get

up can I

drive go let me do something

please pleas [ __ ] what am I doing

here chist come

on

[Music]

this is Mrs

George good

afternoon

hello am

man

[Music]

oh sorry sorry client right up to my

ears Sor right did you find true love

today what true

love oh right um yeah true

love right come on I'm

starving have you been reading Mr I like

films a it's a Russian book real Russian

novel he's about this Russian guy and

he's always dreamed about finding the

perfect Pig so he leaves his young wife

on his farm and everything and he goes

off to search for

it and what

happens I know I'm only on

P right thanks very

much

that's

hey thanks who's Jupiter Superman or

Clark

K

Superman what's stupid are

swans or fish

swans what stupider NS or priests NS I'm

priests I wanted to B on when I was a we

girl me too I'm serious I wanted to give

myself to Jesus but you have to be a

version to B on I am a virgin

human it's okay

sorry what about your other boy friends

C messed about a bit but she never

really got wrong to it you must be the

only virgin in Belfast why aren't you

chist it slipt my H was well okay

doesn't matter jeez I just think that

the first time she'd be really special

like

a like like a fresh paint of milk don't

you think

you

right it's your be

special Mrs George Mrs Hamilton Mrs

Barnard Mrs Atkinson Mrs

Williams I've been think ment I know

this might come as a way bit of a shock

but I've decided to knock it on the

head

fine that's Fain Aon i' admit I'm

disappointed but I respect your de

decision you did and make some

calls they'll be devastated of course

but you don't miss what you never had do

you hey well maybe they could adopt or

something certainly certainly or a gab

be puppy dog or something I suggest that

will Amon oh well back to 8 Grand a year

plus

bonuses by the way Aon that Dr shago

fella I hear he's been sniffing around

your Rosie again

[Music]

really done in the floor no my sister

was right get the [ __ ] out get out no

what are you doing here Raymond I'm not

here is your brother whose brother are

you here they told me all about your

sorted little game and I've been sent

with a mess message no more puds look

Raymond if the lads want an appointment

get them to call melison right what's

true Jesus Christ you're a disgrace to

your family and a disgrace to our nation

my nation tell me Raymond what more

could I do for my nation all those Souls

Lost on the fine and the

troubles I'm repopulating this place

with what that's the best part they're

not Catholic and they're not Protestant

they'll be faithless little emons and

they'll be the final nail in your bigot

coffins I might be a big

at least I'm not a her what's the

problem

Raymond

jealous you're sick the only difference

between me and you is I get paid for

what I do that's not sick that's

capitalism I'm nothing like you what are

you like Raymond I don't do what you do

don't you I couldn't do what you do

you've been doing it since you're 12

I've got no

spam

what yeah go on

laugh if I was a bull that turned me

into hamburgers

blanks

anyway and an angel of the Lord came

onto Joseph saying do not be afraid to

take Mary as your wife for it was to the

Holy Spirit she was conceived not catch

you from around here falling for a line

like that Holy Spirit

mayor

[Music]

Jesus I'm proud of you

son you've got everything you ever

wanted a steady job a healthy income and

a wonderful girl that loves you been

been proud of

me oh

yes very

Pride just one thing I need her to know

Rosie I can't live this double life any

longer maybe you could make her

understand is your headcut do you think

she' understand that you've had it away

with every woman in Bast she's not ask

so you don't tell her and if she does

ask you still don't tell her I don't get

it Ma no

sweetheart and please God you never

will

happy Christmas

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

him come come on what New Year's

resolution no want will see us up

here this say Skies of Le on a

burning those Mighty Cedars bleeding in

the

heat they're showing pictures on the

television women and children dying in

the

street first

now we still added in our own place

still trying to reach the future through

the

past trying to C tomorrow from a tomb

Stone but hey don't listen to me this

wasn't me to be sad

song we've heard too much of that before

right now I only want to be here with

you till the morning you com

fall I want to take you to the

island and trace your footprints in the

sign and in

theing when the Sun goes down we make

love to the sound the

ocean open your

[Music]

eyes there banners over by the

markets whiteing SL on the shipyard

wall which doctors praying for a mighty

Showdown

way is going to

fall here we sacrifice our children to

Fe our dreams of

yesterday teach them dying and lead them

into

Glory hey don't listen to me cuz this

wasn't

Man song

I've sng too much of that

before right now I only want to be here

with

you morning

you your place or mine I've been

thinking about that maybe we should make

your place mine or my place yours have

you been drinking him a manly no I may

not we can get a place together just you

and me what' you

say where you laugh

from because I'm

happy you wake your

M this you still

up

[Music]

don't go in

there

ma

ma

[Music]

[Music]

for

[Music]

God of our ancestors in faith by the

covenant made on Mount Si you taught

your people to strengthen the bonds of

family through faith honor and love look

kind ly upon Olive Manley a mother who

sought to bind her children to you and

bring her one day to our Heavenly home

where the Saints dwell in blessedness

and

peace are you all

right come

on

any consolation uncle said was a

joy he's hard man please sorry for

Troublesome thanks it was a terrible

Shack she was a good mother don't you

know me a I'm your dad no really thanks

for coming really appreciate it means a

lot

that's my car

Frank your M was a f one by

nameing well that doesn't mean you can

park where you like you know the

rules you go on Rosie I just just need a

moment

okay

who did you say you

were I'm your

D sorry for your trouble

thanks he's lovely how old is he 16

weeks he's getting awful big no no my

dad's

dead he passed on he that's right I

passed on all right but I'm not

dead must my pass on good wom in your M

outstanding had some great times

together Jesus he's a we miracle thanks

to you know who they said I'd find you

here I'm Mrs Windsor and I have a 300

p.m. appointment

[Music]

do I know

you I don't know you either of

you your man knew what she's getting

inty it didn't work out she just asked

the wrong

questions like what you know son where

were you last night who she that's in

the past I thought we could be Pauls it

wasn't a pal I needed no listen young

man I gave money in good faith you're my

boy every my son not your son you

prick Jesus Christ broy you wouldn't

believe it you just met my father it's

funny and I've just met your

[Music]

son

what are you doing Aon you stay away

from him I want a baby and any others

Aon I trusted you was I not enough for

you I tried to tell you I didn't want to

listen to me I thought she knew a how

many others am she not what is this I

need a baby you're my boy every an my

song doctor said it's a miracle nice

SPM but I'm the most fertile man in

arand congratulations em

please Aon I want a baby I need a

baby

Rosary right come

[Music]

on

[Music]

for your

[Music]

trouble

[Music]

no I'm sorry no one has seen him yeah

it's only been a couple of weeks Miss Dy

now I know your womb can't wait forever

yeah well yeah well you too Miss

dumpy why didn't I bottle him when I had

the

chance [ __ ] I just wanted to see the

child

I I don't know he's

beautiful he's got your ears poor

kid can

I

no

no I just wanted to same for a we while

just for a minute like just please I

didn't mean

anything

your

children these are our children if truth

been known you were never really

involved was just your

[Music]

sperm we thought I could days some good

so we only get one chance one

life I could have been a good father got

to believe me I'm sorry you bastard

ye I he you that h of a weed [ __ ] leave

me alone get

[Music]

you

[Music]

sh

[Music]

[Music]

so

[Music]

we need babies Missy Protestant babies

hang on winky uh he's bucking for us now

dear Iman is meant to be providing us

with Catholic babies babies who will

help to liberate our Catholic Community

from the shackles of three centuries of

Oppression and who pre tale will

liberate Catholic women from the

shackles of Egypts like you Terry migan

listen times have changed you're going

to have to work together on this we have

a saying in our business

Missy [ __ ] or be [ __ ] strangely

appropriate don't you think when Manley

comes back an example will have to be

made we'll be waiting for him and I

don't think we'll be needing any help

with

that

Rosie

ruie

demon I come

back

Rosemary Rosie go away I'm sorry I've

learned my lesson I got you fish [ __ ]

off Aon it wasn't a sex I just wanted a

help to make a difference make a

difference somewhere else Aon I made a

mistake nobody's perfect Rosie

please look I finished the book

the Russian nov I think is

important the Russian guy he spends

years looking for the pig and then

finally he comes home to his wife and

there in the barn he sees it the pig of

his

dreams don't you see

Rosie it's

you you're the pig of my dreams I don't

need anything else what did the wife do

when she found him HD him over the head

with a shovel killed him instantly

why don't you just go away Emon this is

doing neither of us any good because I

love you I've always loved

you you don't understand Aon I don't

care about your sperm and I don't care

about your

babies and I don't care about you I just

want you to go away and not bother me

[Music]

again it's my birthday

St happy [ __ ] birthday

em since

January our first night Rosie if you'll

have me I'll do anything please I st up

money saved up we can buy a place a

farmer by the Sea keep some pig anything

no father's better than her own father

no no Rosie please no please please

Rosie

Rosie

Rosary is not me you're looking

for you're all right son you went out

sold your seed just like me and my dad

before me so that's what it's like to be

a real man is it walk away when it

starts to get complicated leave them

Hing the baby she'll take you back they

all do that's what I thought tell her

you lover her tell her you're sorry

you'll never do it again I

did

oh chances are you'd have [ __ ] it up

anyway it's the way we're built they

produce one we egg a month we turnour

out a thousand Tad Poes a second we got

a sniff of action we pass on maybe I'll

just go back and tell her that shall I

look at you look at me look at

you come on son be a man about

it what the [ __ ] does that

mean Happy

Days

Jesus Christ Amon what are you doing my

dog Billy Wilson is after you you've got

to get out of here he knows you're back

he seen you with the angel of death look

when you get somewhere safe give me a

call okay you start things all up

again Jesus Christ where you going Aon

are you D as well as stup but he will

Mill

[Music]

you h hello boys

hey

Protestant come on now he yeah you come

on Mo big

St come

on careful B the good I'm going to knock

you going I'm dying for

you really hardt

no Shamrock

sh not long left no B I am going to

[ __ ] chg you put D

wi

come come

come what the

[Music]

[ __ ] I going to [ __ ] kill you

ruie it's me what do you think I'm H

you R stop stop a minute stop stop

sweetheart you could have killed me you

said you die for me now come on now you

didn't really want me to die nowday

that's right your

Bo oh God oh God oh God

Jesus

baby one side oh God I was

[Music]

coming

[Music]

let me let me face I must monitor let

me

[Music]

second Twin's coming the twin what twin

well you really have SP for Bri Jesus

come on we got to cut to the hospital

before

we

excuse me Mr you a

car all right not

this today on the show we're talking to

men with no noodles women need to learn

to stop hitting us and start pying us

Mondays Wednesdays Fridays BS are ours

right no Friday he's got to be ours

listen Mondays Cy Anam Wednesdays County

lond day Friday's Belfast you can have

the Border

County just keep your freaking

TI need us to provide for them and no we

can't even give them babies I mean

what's a man supposed to do group

[Applause]

hug of course I was the original fertile

man I love you you love me good

[Applause]

night

I love you

am but I can't take you

back there'll be other women W your

help and I know you

human you want to help

them and I can't live like

that but if you love me

then

[Music]

sorry

twins twins

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

for

hello can I speak to Dr Johnson

please yes I think it is important Jesus

him it's the right thing to

do I love you you don't have to do this

I love

you all three of

you

[Music]

elen

[Music]

Let Me In what the [ __ ] are you doing

it's a crying shame Aon but it's your

life thanks Dr Johnson

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

scalpel there's a sun

burst whenever you're near me there's a

Sun Burst trying to break through and

I'll wait hopefully near you help in

you I trying to get nearer to the sun

first the one that I'm feeling such a

sun first trying to break through and

die

wait hopefully near you hoping you're

maybe feeling it

too I what a

[Music]

day I what a

day what a day she gives me all I need

she's taking me over breaking me open

like a sun but

rising and waking in her room she's

leading me through but I wait hopelessly

dreaming but KN that dreaming is

[Music]

true

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

what a

[Applause]

day I what a

day I what a day she gives me all I need

she's taking me over breaking me open

like a sun bu whenever you're near me

there's a sun bu trying to break through

and I'll wait hopefully near you Hing

you're may be feeling it

too you're may be feeling it

too y may be feeling

it y may be

[Music]

feeling

[Music]

when

thees i gaze on

youire when the morning comes my look

will be

[Music]

perfectly when the morning

[Music]

comes my

beloved when

thees you'll know that we both feel the

same in the

afternoon givings will fail

nothing in the afternoon you'll know

what it is to

believe when it's afternoon

and I cover

[Music]

you in the afternoon I'll give you no

reason to

[Music]

leave with time and patience moved with

a

[Music]

crow lonely in my silence being

[Music]

without then one

straight out of

the out of all

it now

it's now it's time your kiss will be

tender and

short when it's evening

time just like every

time in the evening time I love you as

As Time and Patience I'm moved with the

c lonely in my silence being

[Music]

without then

want straight out all the

BL out of

[Music]

all Su

[Music]

set