Original subtitles

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Trying to ignore me, are you?

Stop! Put that down.

Woah! King of the jungle!

He can obviously look after himself. So, he can look after me too.

The inquest's coming up. A chance for us to put everything behind us.

Jamie! You smell nice.

Paula, I can't today. You know the rules.

If you've come to gloat...

The day you leave, there'll be bunting countrywide.

It wasn't him.

What fucking games is he playing?

What fucking games is he playing? Come back here now! Jamie!

Seven months ago, it wasn't Rod stealing those pills.

Barry had a relapse. I started medicating him.

Bloody hell, Jamie.

You need to get your shit together.

You're doomed.

There's only one way out of this.

I'll say everything at the inquest.

I'll say everything at the inquest. We'll all be in the shit if you do!

Tell him.

Euphoria. Ecstasy. Call it what you want.

After six months of darkness...

..I actually believed everything was going to be OK.

# I'm now 20 years old, I've grown into my skin

# I've tasted life, I've felt a bit of pain

# Yes, I'm still here

# Not the first, not the last

# Dance, dance #

In that moment of happiness, you remember what's important in life.

Family. Not work or other bullshit.

Family.

# Dance, dance #

Priority number one.

Do you know what's amazing and shit about life in equal measures?

Things are never as they seem.

Jams!

Isn't the inquest today?

Isn't the inquest today? Time we all moved on, Melvyn.

You'd better shift it then.

Giving you a lift, is he?

That Donald bloke is parked outside.

Sixteen messages I've left you!

Today doesn't just affect you, Jamie!

Jamie!

ENGINE STARTS

He's not in!

Prick!

Jamie. Jamie!

Wil!

Wil! He doesn't want to go.

It could make things worse.

How could things be worse? He hasn't uttered a word in months.

You want him to hear the gory details.

The facts about Barry's life.

What he did to Wil was so selfish.

No wonder Wil's a selective mute since his dad died!

He was ill.

I'd like to know what happened to Uncle Barry.

Help me to get closure.

You're not getting out the maths test, good girl. Go. Scoot.

Jan, wait.

I...

..medicated him.

Stole drugs from the hospital.

Benzos.

Why wasn't he getting better if you gave him drugs?

The Benzos just masked the symptoms.

When I couldn't get any more...

..that's when he jumped.

Why, Jamie, didn't you say before now?

You're going to say all this in court, are you? Great.

I need to do this, Jan.

Get it off my chest.

If I confess in court, well, it will be on record.

And Wil will know it wasn't his dad's fault.

And what will happen to you, to your job if you do that?

They'll probs drag me in front of the Naughty Nurses Court.

Struck off.

You're willing to risk losing your job?

Yes, because this job can...

..swallow you whole, kill you.

I've neglected you for too long because of all this.

You three are everything to me.

I want to believe you. I really do.

I'll get another job.

One that pays better.

And what about Barry?

I'm late. I can't afford to lose my job too.

Wil, Gracie and I depend on it.

Let me know how it goes.

I'll prove you wrong, I promise.

Jamie.

They're going to kill me then sack me.

Finance need a mini audit of everyone's expenses by one.

Howard Button will have to wait in the isolation ward for another hour.

Can you please just put down some numbers for your mileage?

No can do, sorry.

Jamie!

The thing is, I don't have to accept your resignation.

I doubt you'll want to keep me after hearing what I have to say in court.

The Benzos.

Huw told me.

Everything.

So, you'll have to sack me anyway.

We'll see.

Maybe I'm just worried whose balls Huw Donald will frame if you go.

Shut the door on your way out.

A cup of tea before I sort out Howard Button.

Unless you're offering to do it, Jamie.

Do you know what? I'd love to, but I've resigned.

I've had a guts full working with a shit show of a nurse like you.

Telling patients they're so useless they can't even kill themselves.

Oi, that happened once.

You, Gwens - carrying mints to stop you breathing...

..your alcoholic fumes over recovering addicts.

This is how you plan to say goodbye to everyone, Jamie?

One big hissy-fit?

Time to get the bunting out then.

Yep. Finito, kaput, so long, farewell.

Stuff all of you fuckers.

I did it. I've just resigned.

You, Gracie and Wil on top of the list now, Jan. I promise you.

You've promised before.

Come to the inquest, Jan. You can see for yourself.

Then we'll go out - you and me - to celebrate. A new beginning.

Please?

Dale is going to kill me.

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'Hi, it's Gracie. Leave a message, please. Thank you!'

Hi, Gracie. Tonight, we're having a family dinner, OK?

In the house.

I want you two there. No excuses.

Because we're celebrating being a family again.

Do you have two left hands?

You still wear my aftershave, then!

Come on - you don't want to be late.

Oh, shit.

Wallet. You go in.

What the fuck are you doing there?

I fell asleep.

I have an audition this afternoon.

Yeah? So?

I saw the car outside the unit. You hadn't locked it.

Anyway, I knew you'd be happy to take me.

Listen, I can't take you.

It's tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Tomorrow? I'm taking you tomorrow, remember?

So, you'd better go home.

Like, now.

Loads of buses go from there into town.

Good.

32B or the 127. Keep the change.

LOCKS CAR DOOR

Alright?

It's OK to be nervous.

I know how difficult today is for you.

What happened to Barry...

James Morris?

Yes.

Here is a copy of your statement to the police.

You'll have to read that in court.

I want to change a couple of quite major things, really.

You'll have the opportunity...

..to add anything else you think relevant at the end.

If you go in, everything is almost ready.

Huw.

Do you remember Janette?

Do you remember Janette? Yes. Hi.

Huw, about this morning.

I want you to know...

..that Barry had a death wish.

And that's an official term now, is it?

You did well to keep him alive so long.

There's no point, Huw. I'm going to say about the Benzos.

It won't affect you because I've resigned.

I heard.

Don't you think Barry's taken enough off you already?

Mr Morris.

We'll chat later, OK?

I, James Morris, do solemnly and sincerely declare...

..that the evidence I shall give...

..shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

In your own time.

I knew Barry since I was five...

..from when he moved from Nelson to...

And...

Mr Morris, I understand that this is difficult.

Go, Jamie! Woo!

May I remind everyone of the seriousness of this hearing, please.

Or I'll have to ask you to leave.

Come and sit with me.

Mr Morris, maybe you'd like to continue?

He moved from Nelson.

From then on, Barry and I lived in each other's pockets.

Everything was great until the accident.

They're not going to lock him up, are they?

You can't lock up my Jamie.

I have an audition tomorrow - Cosi van tutte.

Jay, do something.

Sorry, she's one of our patients.

I'm...

..important to her.

You've misunderstood the situation, Paula. Please.

Jan - no. Sorry, I have to...

Mr Morris!

Jan.

Jan, she doesn't know I've resigned yet.

I need some space, Jamie, or...

You still can't get rid of Barry, can you?

You need help, Jamie.

It's her fault, isn't it? Your sister.

I'm not his sister.

I'm not his sister. I can explain.

Why say I'm your sister?

I'm his wife. God help me!

Come with me, Paula.

Why would that bitch say she's his wife?

Mr Morris, the coroner is threatening contempt.

See you.

I don't know...

..how long I was there holding him.

It felt like an age.

Keep going, Jay.

It will all be over and you can go to sort Janette.

Everything will be fine.

Just keep going.

The last thing he did was look into my eyes...

..and ask me to say to Wil...

..that he loved him.

And then...

..one finger at a time...

..he opened his hand...

..until he wasn't holding on to me at all.

I couldn't hold him.

He slipped from my grasp.

Because he didn't want to be here.

Thank you, Mr Morris.

Is there anything you'd like to add to your evidence?

Anything you think is relevant.

Tell her, Jay. About the Benzos.

That it was your fault.

Barry's cocked up enough for you already.

It's Janette and the children who matter now.

Mr Morris?

You promised!

So Wil knows I'm not right.

Because of the drugs you gave me.

Jay!

Just say 'no' so you can go to sort things out with Janette.

Right. Thank you.

Coward.

You fucking gutless piece of shit.

You fucking gutless piece of shit. No!

Mr Morris?

Mr Morris? Sorry.

Say then.

Say then. I can't!

Mr Morris.

There's no rush.

You can take a break if you need time to think.

Sorry. It's just...

You never really understand...

..until you look into someone's eyes...

..just before they go.

I mean...

..one minute you're here, the next, you're not, and what for?

After Lindsey died, he was so, like...

..fixated on what he'd lost.

He'd forgotten what he had.

I'm not going to make the same mistake.

Huw Donald, please.

What the fuck is he doing?

What the fuck is he doing? Plot twist!

Months before Mr Owens' death...

..the police phoned at nine in the evening...

..to say that they'd rescued him from a railway bridge.

It was quite clear that Mr Owens wanted to jump.

Warning me of something.

In his own words...

.."leave the mess he'd created."

An assessment on him needed to be done in the Emergency Department.

I went there to meet him.

It was obvious that Mr Owens was suffering from CPTSD...

..after the death of his wife Lindsey 16 years earlier.

Gradually, I realised that I work with a friend of Mr Owens...

..Mr Jamie Morris.

But...

..I wasn't aware...

..that the relationship was so...

..complicated.

I've always admired Mr Morris...

..as a nurse, but...

..my respect grew dramatically...

..after Mr Owens confessed to me...

..well...

Confessed that he'd had a relationship...

..with Jamie's wife...

..Mrs Janette Morris.

Er, rewind.

Has he just said...

Did you just say that...

How is it I'm only finding out now?

I understand that what is being said may be painful to you...

..but you've received copies of all the depositions in the post.

I've warned you already...

..one more incident and I'll have to ask you to leave the court.

Mr Donald.

Mr Owens felt so guilty about the betrayal...

..more so because he was so dependent on Mr Morris for support.

The guilt of having cheated...

..and betrayed someone he considered to be like a brother.

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I feel sick.

Come on - after three.

One...

The door bolts?

Janette.

Only you would resign...

..then arrange a bloody day trip for your number one fan.

Why are you here?

Why can't you leave me alone?

Yes? What is the excuse this time?

Whose fault is it this time?

Barry and Huw Donald had a heart to heart...

..after one of his failed attempts.

He told him everything.

About you.

What are you talking about?

You know what Barry was like - full of shit.

Don't try to blame Barry, because Huw said.

What exactly did the high and mighty Huw Donald say?

It doesn't matter what he said.

Just say what happened between you...

..and Barry.

Bloody Barry.

It was a mistake.

You were as big a part of the mess as I was.

You remember how we were.

I'd lost my best friend too.

I'd had to give up work to look after Barry...

..and her baby...

..while you were out working every hour of the day.

Jay! Jay!

Tinman is back from Afghanistan.

Jay - not tonight.

But Tinman is back. We can't snub Tinman.

Come on.

Just a couple of pints.

I won't be late - promise.

You have no idea how hard it was...

..trying to raise Lindsey's baby...

..while I was desperate to have a baby of my own.

Trying every month but I didn't get pregnant...

..while you and Barry were pumping yourselves full of whisky...

..and God knows what else.

So what happened between you and...

..him?

I need to know.

What for? It won't change anything.

Because you want to fucking leave me.

I want to leave you because you're behaving like a twat.

It wasn't me who had the affair!

It wasn't me who had the affair! It wasn't an affair.

Just one stupid, crap moment.

So, what happened?

We were meant to go out.

Just you and me.

For the first time in a year, remember?

Jan, just think about the overtime.

Maybe we can go back to Los Christianos this year.

We can't even go to the Italian down the road!

I promise.

I promise. You always promise.

I'd been looking forward so much.

Someone phoned last minute - they were short of staff.

Yeah, ta-ra!

I'd bought a special bottle of wine...

..to celebrate.

Celebrate another night on my own.

What have you done now?

He'd been out - no surprises there. But he'd fallen.

What have I said about going there at night?

I can't help it.

I can't help it. Fuck sake.

Sit down.

Lindsey wouldn't be happy. I can hear her now.

'For God's sake, get a grip, Baz, mun! It's only a scratch!'

I'd do anything to have one last night on the Cheeky Vimto.

Dancing to I Gotta Feeling.

# Tonight's gonna be a good night

# Tonight's gonna be a good... #

I hated myself.

Have done...

..every day for 14 years!

That's the night...

..I came back with Nw-Nw.

We got called out to this old woman.

She asked if I had children.

I said, "No.

"Not yet."

And she gave me Nw-Nw.

As luck for us.

As luck for us. Don't, Jay.

No.

No.

You remember what we did next, on the same fucking sofa...

..you let my best friend fuck you minutes earlier?!

Fourteen years? We never had another baby.

Have I ended up raising two of his children?

No! Listen, Jamie - you're Gracie's dad.

You. Nobody else.

You. Nobody else. Have you ever done a test?

No!

There's no need. It's obvious that you are Gracie's dad.

Jay, please.

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Only if it's important.

I want to...

I'd like to withdraw my resignation.

I've wasted hours researching into the serious allegations you made.

With my "hissy fit".

Yes, sorry about that.

What if I wrote something saying I'd just been spouting shit?

From what I've heard, things haven't been easy for you for a while.

In one day, I've lost everything.

My job.

My family.

Thirteen fucking Christmases.

Thirteen Christmases...

..they had the cheek to sit around the table with me...

..celebrating, drinking, having fun.

All that time they knew what I didn't.

I'm just an idiot.

Twat.

You're not the first or the last.

A place like this can offer a family of sorts, can't it?

People who know you, are willing to do anything for you.

Well, some, anyway.

What about the drugs I stole?

I've searched and searched but can't find proof.

And there's no official complaint against you.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, good people like you are scarce.

Your record before Barry died...

Well, you get results, you're popular...

..the service users really like you.

The thing is, it won't be my choice in the end.

I'll do anything.

Anything, Natalie.

I'll bear that in mind.

Gwenno.

A little late, I know...

..but I'm going to submit another letter saying I lost my head.

Talking shit.

Because...

..of stress.

Sorry.

Listen...

I'll make sure that you get help...

..to get over this.

We won't turn our backs on you just because you resigned.

I've withdrawn that.

You can't do that.

You've stolen drugs...

..you've made serious allegations, you constantly break rules...

..and you've stolen my tie - I have noticed.

In fact, bring it here now.

What?

What? Give it back.

Hey! Stop!

Paula went crazy after finding out that you have a wife.

Where is she now?

Where is she now? No-one has a clue where she is.

You're strangling me.

You're strangling me. I should've done it years ago!

You took her to your home, Gwenno said.

This is payback.

You're behaving irresponsibly!

I'm a good nurse.

I'm a good nurse. Were a good nurse.

Before the business with Barry.

You need a break from this job, Jamie.

You need help.

Sorry for interrupting.

Melvyn next door has phoned. Someone is trying to break into your house.

Paula.

I was on silent.

'Dad? Dad.

'This woman is screaming and banging the windows.

'Please, Dad, please!

Jamie, love!

Open the door!

Jamie?

Jamie?

Jamie, open the door, love!

Here he is!

Jamie! Jamie! Tell them, Jamie!

Get off. No.

Gracie?

It's OK. I'm here now.

Who's drunk this?

I stupidly thought we were celebrating.

So you're not back together then.

No. We're not.

You said this morning.

You said this morning. I was wrong, OK?

I'm going to bed.

Yes, at Mamgu's house.

Yes, at Mamgu's house. I don't want to go.

Well, tough shit!

Well, tough shit! Hey now. Hey.

Come on.

Jamie? Jamie?

They're taking me back to the unit. Will you be there?

I don't want to go if you're not going to be there.

Are you listening? Will you be there, Jamie?

Jamie! Ow!

Jamie?

Will you be there?

Yes?

Hey.

Just tell me you're going to the unit.

Jamie, I don't want to go.

Everyone thinks they know what it is to be lonely.

Until you lose everything...

..only then you understand what it is to be truly lonely.

MUSIC ON CAR RADIO

TURNS MUSIC OFF

'To Jamie. Thank you, Gwens'

What are you doing?

Do you know what? Not a fucking clue.

Er...

..how's Paula?

We managed to find a place for her here.

But we had to give her medication to calm her down.

I'd have thought you'd have learnt by now.

You can't save everyone.

Like I said...

..things aren't always as they seem.

Gwenno...

..who were you trying to kid?

Don't you think your life is enough of a mess?

Come on, I'll take you home.

Before you kill someone.

I thought you wanted me to move to Bridgend.

I hadn't realised then.

I hadn't realised then. Realised what?

That we're both so similar.

You and me - similar?

The work we do...

..vulnerable people, attracting stalkers.

We're easily hurt.

That's the risk we take.

The risk of living so close to the precipice.

But maybe that's the appeal.

Put a plaster over all the shit...

..because...

..tomorrow is another day.

I feel bloody great despite my world being in bits.

How about Gracie?

Please, I beg you...

..don't shut Gracie out.

What have I done?

What have I done? I can't look at Gracie.

When I do, I see his face looking back at me.

Shut up.

Shut up. How about Paula?

No-one listens to me!

No-one listens to me! OK, Paula, come on now.

It's only me who shows her any kindness.

A trained therapist can't see through you?

You want to be free of those thoughts.

Above your problems.

GLASS SMASHES

Maybe it's time you got more help.

Maybe it's time you got more help. I could say the same about you.

Your life's a shambles!

You're a bloody liability.

You wouldn't want your wife to find out.

You're messing with my head. You don't even exist!

She fills your head so much...

..there's no room for anything or anyone else.

S4C subtitles by Cyfatebol

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