All language subtitles for Colin from Accounts s02e02 Bacon In The Drawer.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan Download
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:19,840 Blessings! 2 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:24,040 - Fuck! Fuck! I hit a dog! 3 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:25,520 Okay, here we go. 4 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:26,120 Stop it! 5 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,440 What the fuck happened to Bandit? 6 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:28,440 - Peppy! - Colin! 7 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:30,320 This woman just flashed her tit at me, actually, 8 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:31,600 so, yes, I hit a dog. 9 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,720 Do you think Collie's gonna have trouble adjusting? 10 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:38,440 To what? 11 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:39,720 Back to us. 12 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:41,600 Like, 'cause he had a home and family... 13 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:43,120 Sorry, what... what are you saying? 14 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,840 Well, just help adapting. 15 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:46,720 I'm not a therapist, but... 16 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,160 You want to get a dog therapist? 17 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,240 No, but maybe there's, like, some trust-building exercises we can do. 18 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,280 I don't know, like, just to make him feel safe. 19 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:56,680 Oh man, your generation is obsessed with therapy and safety 20 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:58,200 and talking. 21 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,400 "My gen..." 22 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:02,440 Why are you being an arsehole? 23 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,599 I'm not. I made you a coffee, what? 24 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:06,960 You've barely looked at me all morning. 25 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:08,520 What are you talking about? I'm staring at you right now. 26 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:09,720 Oh, good, yeah. 27 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,000 This is some gaslighting bullshit. 28 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,480 Yeah. Gaslighting. That's another one you guys love. 29 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,400 Gordon, stop it. 30 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,760 We've finally got him back and now you're all miserable. 31 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,040 I don't get it. What's going on? 32 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,840 I'm sorry, Ash. It's not you. 33 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:27,720 I've gotta go to work. 34 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:29,680 And I'm annoyed, so. 35 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,280 I thought you had the morning off. 36 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:37,560 Yeah, so did I. 37 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,520 But, um, uh... 38 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,920 Brett's yeast is, um... 39 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,000 Yeah. No. 40 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,760 Well, this is bad. 41 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,040 Ah! 42 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:15,880 Mmm! 43 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,440 Mmm-hmm! 44 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:28,840 Sorry, is it your lunchtime? 45 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:30,440 Always. 46 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,960 So, what's going on, dear boy? 47 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,880 How likely do you think it is 48 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,200 that I could naturally get a woman pregnant? 49 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,000 Give it the old college try, did you, old boy? 50 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:43,920 Well... 51 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,400 Got some bacon in the drawer, hey? 52 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,560 Harbouring a fugitive, are we? 53 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:50,280 - Okay. - Come out, come out! 54 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:51,440 We've got you surrounded. 55 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:52,640 Can we stop it for a sec? 56 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,840 It's just that remember you told me 57 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:58,040 that my sperm count was so low that it was virtually non-existent? 58 00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,720 Do you remember? You said that to me. 59 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,080 That may be so, Gordon. 60 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:06,280 But Gordy, Gordy, one must always use a prophylactic! 61 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:07,720 - A sheath! - Totally. 62 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,520 You know what? Is it possible to maybe look at my file 63 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,960 and you could just tell me what my exact count is? 64 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,520 Is that a thing that you...? 65 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,680 It's just that I think that this woman maybe has it wrong, 66 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:18,720 and I just want to give her some cold facts. 67 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,760 Ooh, some girls don't like those. 68 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,440 Be that as it may, I'd love to get some information for myself. 69 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:25,720 I'd like to help you, Gordon, 70 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,680 but my computer isn't on. 71 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:30,840 Can you turn it on? 72 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,640 It takes a while to warm up. 73 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,160 Uh, how long have you been here? 74 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,480 Forty-two years come April. 75 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,200 - Today. I meant today. - Oh! 76 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,280 A couple of hours? I don't know. 77 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,320 Could you just turn it on? 78 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:43,560 Sorry. Could you just... is that okay? 79 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:44,640 Would that be okay? 80 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:47,160 Well, I'd have to plug it in first. 81 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,120 Well, why the f... isn't it plugged in? 82 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,600 - Now, Gordy, Gordy. - Christ. 83 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:58,560 I could give you some numbers, some cold, hard, facts, if you like. 84 00:03:58,640 --> 00:03:59,600 - Great. 85 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:00,000 But it sounds to me like you have a miracle baby here. 86 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:04,360 But it sounds to me like you have a miracle baby here. 87 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:05,800 Can we not say "miracle baby"? 88 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:06,960 Oh, et bien. 89 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,600 Le bebe miracle! Eh? 90 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:10,680 Eh? Eh? 91 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:12,880 - I just thought this would be an easy... 92 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,840 Nothing is easy with a Hewlett-Packard, Gordon. 93 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,440 Thank you for that. 94 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:23,760 Uh... 95 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,680 did Dr Bruce tell you anything? 96 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,360 About...? 97 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:28,440 Himself. 98 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,000 Oh, he mentioned he was going on long service leave. 99 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,480 Oh, right. 100 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:35,640 Okay. That's what he's saying. 101 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:37,320 Is that not the case? 102 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,240 Oh yes, yes, there is no scandal. 103 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,400 Okay. Thank you. 104 00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:54,120 Meggles, have you got a sec? 105 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,720 Walk and talk, baby. Walk and talk. 106 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,560 Gordon has got the ick. He's gone all weird. 107 00:04:58,640 --> 00:04:59,720 Yesterday you had the ick. 108 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,000 No, I didn't, I was just questioning everything. 109 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,480 No, I didn't, I was just questioning everything. 110 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:02,560 But I think I'm annoying him. 111 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:03,760 Oh, that's not so bad. 112 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:04,880 But I'm not annoying. 113 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,520 You can be, but I would argue that this is a good sign. 114 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,560 How? I mean, I just moved in with the guy. 115 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,400 No, Ash, this is your fear talking. 116 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,720 - Is it? - Yeah, 'cause it's real. It's honest. 117 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,720 Annoying each other is the first true sign of intimacy. 118 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,680 This is from that relationship book I sent. 119 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:19,720 Honestly, they're so good. 120 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,240 Yeah, it's good. 121 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:24,120 Megan, ooh, what have we got here? 122 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,720 Ah, building site accident. 123 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:29,200 I'm delivering the arm from the ED to the theatre for replantation. 124 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:30,640 Was that always an arm? 125 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,200 - Yeah. - Never a baby? 126 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:33,120 Bassinette? 127 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,080 Very creative thinking. I'm impressed, Meg. 128 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,840 Well, thanks, Gene. It was too long for the fingers and hands Esky, 129 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,400 so, yeah. 130 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:42,880 But, um, I have to kind of keep moving 'cause nerve endings and whatnot, so. 131 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,680 - Thanks. 132 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,040 Thinking outside the box. 133 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,760 Now, you could do with some of that. 134 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,600 Swear I saw a baby. 135 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,160 - Thank you. - Okay. 136 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,240 Just checking, is this milk pasteurised? 137 00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,480 I'm not sure. 138 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,000 It's fine. It is. 139 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:00,640 It's fine. It is. 140 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,240 - How do you know? - It's obviously pasteurised. 141 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:04,520 We're not on a farm. 142 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:05,520 It, ah... would look like 143 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:06,560 a cup of vomit, wouldn't it? 144 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:07,880 Oh. 145 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,080 Well, I'm pregnant, so I am just checking. 146 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:11,400 All good. 147 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:13,880 Because I'm pregnant. 148 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:14,920 Congratulations. 149 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,000 Thank you! Thanks. 150 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,000 You're just telling anyone now? 151 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,200 It's a big deal at my age. Don't be mean. 152 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,320 Yvette, I don't really know how to say this, 153 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,680 so I'm just gonna say it. 154 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,240 I really don't think that this child is mine. 155 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,040 So, have you been seeing anybody else? 156 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,160 No. No one. 157 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:36,240 Really? 158 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:37,960 Just you. 159 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,680 Yvette, I had testicular cancer, okay? 160 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,640 So my sperm count is so low 161 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,400 that really, my only chance of becoming a father 162 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:45,800 is IVF or adoption. 163 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,400 Well, this is a miracle baby, Gordon. 164 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,280 A double miracle seeing as I'm in my forties. 165 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:51,600 I don't think you're listening to me, Yvette. 166 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,040 I mean, we did give it a pretty good nudge a few months ago. 167 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:55,600 I... I feel like... 168 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,600 Gordon, just relax, okay? 169 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,000 I'm not trying to trap you. I don't want anything from you. 170 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:00,080 I'm not trying to trap you. I don't want anything from you. 171 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:01,160 Don't you? 172 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,200 Just think you've actually forgotten 173 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:04,960 that we have a really great time together. 174 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:07,960 Do you remember the Hunter Valley? 175 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,000 - Yeah. It was great. - Yeah. 176 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,680 What about salsa classes? You were getting pretty good. 177 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,920 - I was... I was all right. - You were very good. 178 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,360 - Thank you. - Yeah. 179 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,040 So, you know, just finish up your fling and... 180 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,000 we'll be here. 181 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,640 Oh! I was thinking "Keith". 182 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,400 That's my middle name. 183 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:29,640 I know. 184 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:32,800 I'll be right back. 185 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:34,800 Love you. 186 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:48,600 Um... 187 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:51,480 Thanks for meeting me. 188 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,280 - It sounded serious. 189 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:55,680 Well, I mean... 190 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:57,480 Mm. 191 00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,480 Yeah, there's not, ah... 192 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:00,000 It's not an easy thing to say, so I'll just say it. 193 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,440 It's not an easy thing to say, so I'll just say it. 194 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,280 I moved in too fast. 195 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:05,600 No, no, no. No. 196 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:06,680 I'm annoying you. 197 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:07,920 No, you're not. 198 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,840 - No, you say... - No, no, no, Ash. 199 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:11,600 Yvette is pregnant 200 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,440 and she says that it's mine. 201 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:14,560 Flash! 202 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:19,240 - Gene! 203 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:21,600 Ooh, you look so good! 204 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,680 So do you. God, man, hey. 205 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,640 Still rocking the overalls, man. Nothing's changed. 206 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,200 Well, you nail a look, you stick with it. 207 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,760 - Yep. 208 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,480 - Hello, Ashley. 209 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,440 Oh, that's right, of course, you two know each other. 210 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,560 - Yeah. We're actually together. 211 00:08:36,159 --> 00:08:38,000 Oh, Dr Molden, how about that? 212 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,200 No, you got a good one here. 213 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,880 We all had crushes on Flash in the chemo hall in the men's group. 214 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,680 Oh, no, no, stop it. Stop it. 215 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,160 Um, awesome, man. 216 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:48,800 - So good to see you. I'll... - You catch up with the guys? 217 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:50,600 - I don't. I don't. I should. - Oh, that's a shame. 218 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:52,040 You know, we should get together. 219 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:53,720 You know, fishing trip or poker night. 220 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:54,680 - Poker night. - Yep. 221 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,120 We should. We should. Anyway... 222 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,440 - How's the cat? - What cat? 223 00:08:58,520 --> 00:08:59,920 - Don't you have a cat? - Nup. 224 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,360 - I think you're thinking of... - Ugh, no, I am! 225 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:03,440 - I'm thinking of Phil. - Phil. 226 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,160 - Yes, Phil's got the cat. - Yes, he does. 227 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:06,880 - Yeah. Yeah. - Oh, yeah. 228 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,000 Was he just cat-sitting? 229 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,160 Oh, wow, yeah. Not sure. Not sure. 230 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:11,280 - Anyhoo. - Anyway. 231 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:12,200 - Yep. - Doesn't matter. 232 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,280 - So. 233 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,040 Good to see ya. 234 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:17,880 - Tim died. - Did he? 235 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,760 Yes. Oh, yeah, he was fine. Remission. 236 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,040 - Went in for his annual checkup... - Yup. 237 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,240 And, boom, lit up like a Christmas tree. 238 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:26,880 - Oh, fuck, I didn't know that. - Yup. 239 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,000 - Christmas time, too, which is so sad. 240 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:29,600 - Yeah. 241 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:30,720 That's probably why I said Christmas tree. 242 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,040 Christmas, Christmas. 243 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,800 - Yeah, yeah. - Anyhoodley. 244 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:35,840 - Check you later. - Yup. 245 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:36,800 And, ah... 246 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,840 Look at her face. 247 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,360 Never seen a guy sport a beret before, Ashley? 248 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:42,760 I am cool, you know. 249 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:44,320 Okay, brother. 250 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:45,600 - Check ya, bro. - Check ya. 251 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,000 I'm gonna... 252 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,920 I'm gonna call you, give you a tingle, and... 253 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,920 - You on the same number? - I am. 254 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,440 - See? Always the same. - Yeah. 255 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,960 - Okay. 256 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,480 All right, Flashy. Flash mob. 257 00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,000 - Flash mob. 258 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,480 - Flash mob. 259 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:03,280 See ya, Gene. 260 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:08,280 Ash, are you okay? 261 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,280 I just need you to know that I never... 262 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,720 I never thought I'd ever be able to get anybody pregnant. 263 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,040 And... and people are saying "miracle baby", 264 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,880 which is a term I don't like at all, 265 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:22,000 but... I do want to do the right thing. 266 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,040 You know, whatever that is. 267 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:24,760 So, if this is mine, 268 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:25,960 and we need to find that out, 269 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:27,920 I can't just walk away. 270 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,160 You know, I need to grow up at some point. 271 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:31,240 Don't I? 272 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,640 Sorry, 273 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,280 how much did you have sex? 274 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:40,640 Is that important right now? 275 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,800 Uh, you told me 276 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:47,280 that it wasn't a very physical thing with her. 277 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,440 All things are physical. What do you mean? 278 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:54,160 But if your chances of getting someone pregnant are that low, 279 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,600 then... you must have given it a pretty good crack. 280 00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:00,000 Not really because whether we had sex once or a thousand times, 281 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,080 Not really because whether we had sex once or a thousand times, 282 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,960 each individual chance was very low. 283 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,200 Oh, okay, Sportsbet. 284 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,240 Can you not drag me over the coals here? 285 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,240 It's... this is before you and I got together. 286 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,440 This... this might be too much for me, actually. 287 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:14,520 Oh... 288 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,720 Ugh. I've got to go back in. 289 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:18,920 Ash... 290 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,840 - Come on. - Congratulations. 291 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:35,920 Ciggie? 292 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,760 Yeah, man. Actually, that'd be great. 293 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,000 No, do you have one? 294 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:43,120 No, I don't. Sorry, man. 295 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,760 So, she walked off and you followed her? 296 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,720 No, I thought she wanted space. 297 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:55,920 Durr Burger! 298 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,320 Rule 462 of How To Not Be A Fuckhead: 299 00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,920 When you tell your girlfriend you got your ex pregnant... 300 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,120 - But did I, though? - You follow her. 301 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,080 Thank you. 302 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,600 So, you've been spreading your seed for years 303 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,040 thinking you were shooting blanks. 304 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:06,920 - Classic male. - Oh, is it? 305 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,640 Sorry, she who hates all men now. 306 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,120 And they are blanks. 307 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,160 Well, then I guess you got yourself... 308 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:13,480 - Don't say miracle baby. - A miracle baby. 309 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:14,640 Fuck ya. 310 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,720 Your chickens are coming home to roost, mate. 311 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:17,640 - Oh yeah? - Yup. 312 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,160 'Cause your chickens need help with their homework 313 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:20,720 and you're at a fuckin' k.d. lang concert 314 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,520 jiving out in the mosh pit in your fuckin' Doc Martens. 315 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:26,880 Sorry. 316 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,720 We really need to update your references. 317 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,040 - I'd bloody love that. - Okay. 318 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,160 Oh, speaking of babies... 319 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,200 That's so sweet. 320 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:35,880 - Total breach of our license. - Oh, but... 321 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:36,800 Hey, sorry, guys. 322 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,560 - Brett is onto it. - Yeah, no minors. 323 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:39,920 - Aw, leave 'em. - What? 324 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,440 If she was eating a meal it'd be okay, but, you know. 325 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,720 Sorry, she's three months old. 326 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,280 How is she supposed to eat a meal? 327 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,680 Ah, it's all right, Jules, we'll, um... 328 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,040 We'll just... we'll order something. 329 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,000 - We actually don't do proper meals. - Hey, guys. 330 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,120 So, it's not like she's gonna order a fuckin' drink, all right? 331 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:54,480 This is fuckin' ridiculous, all right? 332 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:56,440 - It's fuckin' ridiculous. - Okay, easy. 333 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,960 No, it's not easy! Okay?! 334 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,000 We haven't been out of the house for like 12 fuckin' weeks! 335 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,640 We haven't been out of the house for like 12 fuckin' weeks! 336 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,120 And now that she's not fuckin' crying, 337 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,120 I thought, "Wouldn't it be nice to go grab a drink." 338 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,920 But no, this fuckin' country with its fuckin' rules 339 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,480 and your dumb fuckin' brewery! 340 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,240 I've fuckin' had it! 341 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,600 And I'm taking this! 342 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:12,480 Jules... 343 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:14,000 It's shit beer! 344 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:17,960 - Sorry, mate. - Sorry, man. 345 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,560 Ah, it's... it's all good. 346 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:20,880 Rules are rules, right? 347 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,280 It's just been... tough. 348 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,480 For her and me. 349 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,360 Um... yeah. 350 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,480 Babies are fucked. 351 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,400 - I'm not sure, hey. 352 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,600 - You could... nup. 353 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:44,520 Bless you. 354 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,560 Man. 355 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,240 That looks fuckin' horrible. I don't want that. 356 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:55,760 Yeah, it doesn't look easy. 357 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,600 You should be grateful. At least you know about yours now. 358 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,000 You know, my mate? 359 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,280 His missus had one of those, what do you call them? 360 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,160 Toilet babies. 361 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:06,080 - Toilet babies? - Yeah. 362 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,560 Thought it was a gluten intolerance. 363 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:08,640 Turned out, 364 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:09,720 nine-pound baby. 365 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,840 Well, that's really helpful. Thanks, Bretty. 366 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:12,960 You're welcome. 367 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,720 Gordo, look at me. 368 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:17,720 You're gonna be a great dad. 369 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:19,880 All right? 370 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,760 Father is a verb. 371 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,440 And when you keep doing the verb 372 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:25,720 you become the noun. 373 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:29,520 - Did you make that up? - Yeah, I did. 374 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,200 You're across nouns and verbs and all that? 375 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,880 I won the English prize in Year 10, you fuckwit. 376 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,280 Sorry, man. Nah, that's all right. 377 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:38,880 That's really beautiful, Bretty. 378 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:39,840 Thank you. 379 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,320 You're a good friend. 380 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:42,400 I know. Back to work. 381 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:44,840 All right, boss. 382 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,040 - Ah... 383 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,760 If it isn't the fruit of my love's luscious loins. 384 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:55,880 Lee... 385 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:56,960 No. 386 00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:59,640 To what do we owe the pleasure? 387 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,080 You're... so, you're back here? 388 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:03,560 - Mm? - Huh? 389 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,520 Oh, yes, no, the seminar only lasted a couple of days. 390 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:07,480 Seminar? 391 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:08,800 Yes. Linguistics. 392 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,800 Just me and Australia's top cunning linguists. 393 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,320 Thought Mum kicked you out. 394 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,040 You thought, you thought. 395 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,160 "I thought I had a think, that's what I thunk!" 396 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,080 Mm, that's what she told me. 397 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,360 No. 398 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,040 Red wine? White wine? 399 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:25,000 Icy pole? 400 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,160 No, thank you. I'll just wait for Mum in the kitchen. 401 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,240 Ah, bup bup bup! 402 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,840 You will find the third Williams sister on the court. 403 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:32,720 - Okay. - Allow me. 404 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:33,960 No, I know where it is. 405 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:35,080 Thank you. 406 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,120 I mean, we were just getting off the ground, you know, Mum? 407 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,200 Seeing if, like, we actually work together. 408 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,520 And now what? I'm supposed to be a stepmum? 409 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,000 Well, that doesn't make me a grandmother. 410 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:00,320 Well, that doesn't make me a grandmother. 411 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,040 - What? - It doesn't. 412 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,360 Can this be 413 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:06,920 about me, please, right now? 414 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:09,840 Poor Gordon. 415 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,880 He's gonna need a strong woman by his side, Ashley-Marie. 416 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,440 What about what I need? 417 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:15,680 God. 418 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,240 That's enough, Denise. 419 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:19,280 Clean up now. 420 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,240 Darling, men need champions right now. 421 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,360 I mean, look what happened to poor Lee. 422 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,400 He got fired for being inappropriate with his students online. 423 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,280 That witch preyed on him! 424 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,520 Anyway, I've taken away his phone and his computer. 425 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:37,240 He's totally analogue now. 426 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,440 Just needs a tight leash, that's all. 427 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,240 He had an iPad with him at the front door. 428 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:44,800 Oh, that's just for his word games. 429 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,160 His word games online? 430 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,400 Men's mental health is very delicate now. 431 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,640 The suicide rate just went up again. 432 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,520 You sound like a men's rights activist. 433 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:55,640 Maybe I am. 434 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:57,640 On the bright side, darling, 435 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:58,800 running around after little ones 436 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,000 is a great way of keeping the weight off. 437 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:00,640 is a great way of keeping the weight off. 438 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,520 I was a size 6 when you were two. 439 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:04,839 So, pregnant, are we? 440 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,680 Thought you were looking a little ripe. 441 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,920 No, Gordon's got a girl in trouble. 442 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,560 Ooh! Tin roof rusted! 443 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,400 Lee, can I just talk to my mum? 444 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,079 "Stepmother likes to punish." 445 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,720 Click, like, subscribe, download. 446 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,200 Okay, you two are fucked. You're fucked. 447 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,480 I just don't know why I came here. Why do I ever come here? 448 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,640 Denise? 449 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,599 My racquet needs re-stringing again. 450 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,160 The tension is pathetic. 451 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,560 - Sorry. - Don't touch me, hey? 452 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:50,680 Ash? 453 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:52,920 You awake? 454 00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:58,840 I am awake. 455 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,000 Oh, for fuckin'... I asked! 456 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,920 Oh, for fuckin'... I asked! 457 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,160 Did you ask because you wanted to talk or fart? 458 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:07,800 I wanted to talk, 459 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,280 but seeing as you were asleep, I decided I'd fart. 460 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,720 This stinks. 461 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,360 I'm going downstairs. 462 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,240 Why did you do it? 463 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,840 The... the fart or... 464 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,960 or the Yvette situation? 465 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,400 Both. 466 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,880 - Hey. - Morning. 467 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:49,600 This is nice. 468 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,200 Please. 469 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:58,880 - You want to talk? - Yeah. 470 00:18:58,960 --> 00:18:59,960 Let's talk. 471 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:01,560 Okay. 472 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,040 Uh... 473 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:04,520 So listen, I think... 474 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:05,640 Well, I know... 475 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:11,360 I've spent a huge chunk of my life dodging responsibilities, to be honest 476 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:15,760 And, um, I think this is probably one that I should face up to. 477 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,760 If it is one at all. 478 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,920 But you are very important to me now, Ash, 479 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,280 so... what do you think? 480 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,720 I really just want us to work, Gordy. 481 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,120 So do I, Ash. 482 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:33,560 The fact that you're owning all of this 483 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,880 does make me feel better about everything. 484 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,400 But the situation itself is completely fucked. 485 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:42,040 Like, it complicates my life hugely. 486 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:43,120 Yeah. 487 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,480 But maybe that's what being in a grownup relationship is. 488 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,240 I don't know. Maybe I've never been in one. 489 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,440 What do you think Yvette wants exactly? 490 00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:59,240 Well, I mean, I think she's a bit dismissive of this. 491 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,000 So, you know, getting her over that is probably a first step. 492 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,560 So, you know, getting her over that is probably a first step. 493 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,320 Dismissive? Of... of me? 494 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,360 Well, she's waiting, I think, 495 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:09,920 you know, for this to be... 496 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,000 over. 497 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,520 Are you joking? Is that what she said? 498 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,360 In so many words, yeah. 499 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:16,600 She said that? 500 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,200 Yeah, she did. 501 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:20,040 Huh. 502 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:22,840 That's what she said? 503 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,320 Yeah, Ash. Yeah. I think she did. 504 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,160 Hmm. 505 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,880 Huh. 506 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,000 That's funny. 507 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,120 Lisa? Hi, Yvette, please. 508 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,280 I want to speak to Yvette. 509 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:35,760 - Which vet? We have several. - No! 510 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,040 - Don't do that. We've done this one. - Shh! 511 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,360 - No, we are not doing that either. - Okay, let's... 512 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,640 - Dr Yvette is in surgery right now. - Listen to me. 513 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,200 I want to speak to that woman right now, please. 514 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,360 Ooh, silky bantam? 515 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:45,400 We're good. Thanks, mate. 516 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,160 I really just want to talk to Yvette. 517 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:48,560 - I believe she's operating right now. - Shh. 518 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,000 Well, there you go. Let's sit down. Let's take a breath. 519 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,400 - Don't manage me. - No, no. Sorry. 520 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:52,720 Hey, would you two like a water or something? 521 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,640 We're fine, thank you. Sorry, mate. I'm Gordon. 522 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,200 Gordon? With the little guy with the wheels? 523 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:57,360 - That's right! - Fabulous. 524 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:57,960 - Yeah. 525 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:58,920 - You are in excellent hands with Yvette. 526 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,000 - Great. - Oh, here she is. Woman of the hour. 527 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:00,960 - Great. - Oh, here she is. Woman of the hour. 528 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:02,880 - What is going on? - We need to talk, Yvette. 529 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,880 Do we, though? Because my business is with Gordon. 530 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,280 Not sure that it is. 531 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,760 Better cut your claws, ma'am. 532 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:11,800 Oh! So sorry. 533 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,040 Here's the thing, okay? 534 00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:14,960 - No, we are not doing this here. - He and... 535 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,000 I'm so sorry, Pam. 536 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:16,920 Follow me. 537 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,720 Oh, sorry, Pam. 538 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:20,600 Sorry, Pam. 539 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:26,840 You have five minutes. 540 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,960 I'm about to de-sex a Burmese. Right? 541 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,560 Ashley, what is your problem? 542 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,040 I'm not going anywhere, okay? 543 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:35,200 So, if you are gonna have a baby with Gordon, 544 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:36,440 you are gonna have it with me. 545 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,040 Hey, sorry, bub. 546 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:44,240 Geraldine's actually going into labour, so she could be a bit erratic. 547 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,640 - "Bub"? - Who's Geraldine? 548 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:46,760 The python over there. 549 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,880 - Are you two a thing? - Ugh... 550 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,040 - Ah... - Oops. 551 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:53,200 Oh, no... Not really. 552 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:54,920 - How long's this been going on? 553 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,200 So sorry, why is the snake out of her cage? 554 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,680 - Couple of months. - Not very long. 555 00:21:58,760 --> 00:21:59,960 But officially, pretty recent. 556 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,000 I don't think that these two should be in the same room together. 557 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,000 So, there is a chance that this kid isn't mine. 558 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,160 No, hang on a moment 559 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,040 - because you can be... - Hold on. 560 00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:09,040 Are you pregnant? 561 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,200 Yes. 562 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:11,800 Oh my God! 563 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,080 Oh, calm down, Micah. 564 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,320 You were so fuckin' sure that it was mine, Yvette. 565 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,000 - I am. - Are you? 566 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:18,360 Were you or were you not seeing this guy 567 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:19,520 at the same time you were seeing me? 568 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,200 - Don't remember. - Yes, you do. 569 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:22,440 I... all right! 570 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,400 Maybe there is a chance that it's his. 571 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,520 His or mine, I will always be there. 572 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,240 I don't know about dates and times. 573 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,720 I'm just a woman trying to live. Okay? 574 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,600 I'm a woman in her forties who wants to be a mum. 575 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,000 My sisters can do it. 576 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,000 My younger fuckin' sisters! 577 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,080 My mum's breathing down my neck. 578 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,960 "Yvette, why are you married to your cats and dogs?" 579 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,480 "Why are you such a fat, fuckin' loser?" 580 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:48,920 And here I am 581 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,160 at 12 weeks 582 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,080 for the first time in my fuckin' life 583 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:53,600 at 43 years of age. 584 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,360 Why can't I have a baby with someone who I actually like? 585 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,640 Why don't you like him? There's nothing wrong with him. 586 00:22:58,720 --> 00:22:59,760 Because he's boring! 587 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:00,000 - Micah, you're boring. - Am I? 588 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,880 - Micah, you're boring. - Am I? 589 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,160 Oh, that's news to me. 590 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:04,320 It shouldn't be! 591 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,080 When was the last time that you and I did anything remotely fun?! 592 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:08,160 We like going bouldering. 593 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:09,440 I hate bouldering! 594 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:10,520 You like bouldering! 595 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,720 Bouldering sucks! 596 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,920 It's not even a boulder, it's inside, 597 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,520 and you've got calloused hands and your stupid pointy shoes! 598 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,200 They're disgusting! I hate them! 599 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:22,400 Anyway... 600 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:23,600 I'd love to... I'll... 601 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:24,800 - Yeah, we should go. - Yeah. 602 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:25,680 - 'Cause of the... - I think so. 603 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,800 Hey, ah, congratulations. 604 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,280 Thanks, buddy. Lots to talk about, obviously. 605 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:30,280 Not really. Not for me. 606 00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:32,320 I'm done here. Um... 607 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,200 Yvette, I'm sorry that you felt the need to try... 608 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,800 Oi, nah, nah. Text it. 609 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,080 Get out of my practice. 610 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:38,720 Trying. It's on your foot. 611 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:42,640 I know it's on my fuckin' foot, you child. 612 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,400 So, I propose we go inside, 613 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,360 we get Colin, 614 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,560 and then we go to a bar and get drunk 615 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:12,840 with our dog. 616 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,240 That sounds amazing. 617 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:15,840 - Let's do it. - Yeah. 618 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,480 Um, wait. 619 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:23,720 At what point in the courting process 620 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,800 do you usually tell the girl that you can't have kids? 621 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,040 Uh, yes... 622 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:30,560 Ah, are you the girl? 623 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:31,600 Yes, I'm the girl. 624 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,240 Yeah, okay, well, I would say now. 625 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:35,480 All right, then do it. 626 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:38,920 Can't have kids. 627 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,160 Yikes. 628 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,680 - Yeah. 629 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,800 - How do you feel about that? - Um... 630 00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,280 Maybe a little bit sad? 631 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,320 But also, do I want to be a mum? I don't know. 632 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,920 Big thoughts. Big, big questions. 633 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,320 Is it a dealbreaker? 634 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:00,000 I think I'd rather have you 635 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,600 I think I'd rather have you 636 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,200 and maybe not have kids 637 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,600 than be with some guy who can have them. 638 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,720 I think I'd rather be with you. 639 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:12,480 That's beautiful. 640 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,320 - Maybe. - I'll take it. 641 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,960 I'll take a maybe. Let's go. 642 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,760 - I have a big question though. - Hit me. 643 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:23,080 Why... was that snake... 644 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,600 - Oh! - Out of its cage? 645 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,400 Yes! I don't know but I've been thinking about it. 646 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:27,480 - And I think... - Dropped your keys. 647 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,800 I think maybe it's to bring on labour. 648 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,200 Yeah, bring on labour. That's the only thing that makes sense. 649 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,320 But you know what? I thought a pregnant snake would be like... 650 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:34,880 like one bump, like... 651 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:35,840 Like a skinny lady. 652 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,760 Yeah! Like eating a big meal, or... 653 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,200 Nah, they're all stacked vertic... 654 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:40,920 No, like lengthways, the eggs. 'Cause I looked it up. 655 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:41,800 - Are they? - Yup. 656 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,120 And they just pop out like a Pez dispenser? 657 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,080 - Yeah. - Straight out of the cloaca. 658 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:46,400 What? 659 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,760 Cloaca? 660 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:48,800 Cloaca! 661 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,680 That's the one thing. That's the one hole. 662 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:51,600 That does everything. 663 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:53,560 That's the anus, that's the vagina, that's the lot. 664 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,040 Mate, get yourself a cloaca. You got it sorted. 665 00:25:57,120 --> 00:26:00,000 I'm gonna, I'm gonna make an appointment with a plastic surgeon. 666 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:00,040 I'm gonna, I'm gonna make an appointment with a plastic surgeon. 667 00:26:00,090 --> 00:26:04,640 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 46805

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.