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1
00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:05,738
[Kate humming]
2
00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:10,142
Honey?
Is something wrong?
3
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,244
I just got a chill,
as though something terrible
4
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:14,413
is about to happen.
5
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:17,316
It has to do with him.
I know it.
6
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:21,653
These premonitions are becoming
more frequent, aren't they?
7
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:25,157
Willie, Kate,
I have some disturbing news.
8
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:29,561
- I told you. Didn't I tell you?
- That's just a coincidence.
9
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,997
What disturbing news?
10
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:34,600
I am deeply concerned..
11
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:39,004
...about the amount of weight
I've put on recently.
12
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,006
Oh, is that all?
13
00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:44,009
Well, you might find it
cute and adorable
14
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:47,479
but I'm afraid that genetically,
I'm destined to die
15
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:50,783
from the same fate
my grandparents died from.
16
00:00:50,785 --> 00:00:55,487
- And that is?
- Physical implosion.
17
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:58,991
So far, this has
all been good news.
18
00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:01,026
I'll let that pass.
19
00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:03,095
You see,
when Melmacians gain weight
20
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:06,131
our bodies become
denser and denser
21
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:10,035
until finally,
we just burst from inside.
22
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:14,039
You're saying that you only
gain weight internally?
23
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,608
Yeah. It's a primitive
survival thing
24
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:20,379
to ensure our clothes
always fit.
25
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:24,783
Nature does have a way of taking
care of the important things.
26
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:28,320
That is the most ludicrous thing
you have ever said.
27
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:31,356
Well you wouldn't find humor
in it if you had to wet vac
28
00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:33,792
your grandparents
off the carpet.
29
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:38,530
[theme music]
30
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:46,165
(woman on TV)
'and one and two
and one and two and breathe.'
31
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:49,234
'Okay, once again, inhale.'
32
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,770
'And exhale.'
33
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:55,908
'Ready?'
34
00:02:55,910 --> 00:03:00,879
'And up and back
and up and back.'
35
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:04,249
- What are you doing?
- Exercising.
36
00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:07,553
This is the sixth time
I've watched this tape today.
37
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:11,223
I can't wait to weigh myself.
38
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,125
ALF, that's crazy.
39
00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:17,095
You can't lose weight just
by watching a workout tape.
40
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:18,797
Come on. Get up.
41
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,300
I'll show you
a couple of exercises.
42
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:27,239
Okay, but I feel it only fair
to warn you I just ate.
43
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:30,042
[grunting]
44
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:33,245
- I ate a lot.
- I'll give you a hand.
45
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:40,652
Let me, let me get my feet
in a better position here.
46
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:43,355
Uh, use your legs, Willie.
Bend from the knees.
47
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:46,558
[grunting]
48
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,664
What's going on out here?
49
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,866
It's not what you think.
50
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,135
I'm trying to get ALF
up on his feet.
51
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,204
You know, he is heavier
than he looks.
52
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:03,775
Yes, but I'm still
a perfect size seven.
53
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:08,880
Whoa! This is not embarrassing
at all.
54
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,183
ALF, if you're really serious
about losing weight
55
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:13,585
you're gonna have to start
exercising regularly
56
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,821
and eating less.
57
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:19,358
How about if I just gave up
eating your cooking?
58
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:23,962
Oh, forget it. If he wants
to pork out, let him burst.
59
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:27,699
- He doesn't care.
- I do. Oh, I'm just weak.
60
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:30,402
I have no willpower, Will.
61
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:32,604
I'm too young to implode.
62
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,273
All I need is a little help.
63
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:37,676
Would you help me?
Please help me.
64
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,745
Alright. You heard him.
65
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:43,815
Starting immediately, you're
going on a supervised diet.
66
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:48,553
You're gonna be limited
to 1500 calories a day.
67
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:50,722
No problem.
68
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,824
Now, just out of curiosity
69
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,627
how many calories are there
in a double cheeseburger
70
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,263
large fries and chocolate shake?
71
00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:01,466
Eleven, what, twelve?
72
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,069
I'd say probably 2100.
73
00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:07,205
[gasps]
74
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,541
I'm in big trouble.
75
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,410
I'll diet tomorrow.
76
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:21,653
- Roast smells good, mom.
- Great. Here you go, ALF.
77
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,589
- What's this?
- Supper.
78
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,692
It's a joke, right?
79
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:30,062
It's a watercress salad.
It's on your diet.
80
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:33,932
Well, let's just take it off.
81
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:38,337
Try it. I know it's tough, but
nobody wants to see you implode.
82
00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:41,973
Well, practically nobody.
83
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,875
Where's the dressing?
84
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,011
I squeezed lemon juice on it
for you.
85
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,813
Oh, for a minute there,
I was worried
86
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:51,483
it might be dry and tasteless.
87
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,152
When you finish that you can
have some nice white rice
88
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:57,122
and skinless broiled chicken.
89
00:05:57,124 --> 00:06:02,894
Oh, great. And maybe for dessert
I can have a ball of wax.
90
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:09,234
Brian, ass-pe the eat-me
and otatoes-pe.
91
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:14,906
Dad, you speak French.
What did he say?
92
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:18,110
He said he wants seconds
on his salad.
93
00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:20,245
Look, I'm grateful for the help
94
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:23,982
but Melmacians can't
crash diet like this.
95
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:26,651
Sure they can.
All it takes is willpower.
96
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:28,954
That's not what I mean.
97
00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:32,691
We have to lose weight
very, very slowly
98
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:34,526
over a period of time.
99
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:37,229
Say, 13 years.
100
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,633
- Nice try.
- It's true.
101
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,902
Crash dieting can cause
an imbalance
102
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,037
in my enzyme system.
103
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:48,273
I could be subject
to a chemical reaction
104
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:53,111
that might make me revert back
to my primal instincts.
105
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:56,815
Oh, for heaven's sake,
don't eat the damn salad.
106
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:59,217
I'm serious.
107
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:02,154
ALF, you pleaded with us
to help you lose weight.
108
00:07:02,156 --> 00:07:04,489
Now, if you think
I can be conned
109
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:05,924
into letting you off the hook
110
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,226
because of some
ridiculous story like that
111
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:11,963
well, I'm a bigger fool
than you are.
112
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:15,333
Well, in that case,
pass the gravy, fool.
113
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,940
Okay, but I'm telling you
114
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:25,143
it's gonna get weird.
115
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,418
[mumbling]
116
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,954
Ooh. Ah.
117
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,522
Bacon grease.
118
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:39,758
[sniffs]
119
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,893
Soup's on.
120
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,895
Oh! Uh.. Uh..
121
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:46,097
[snoring]
122
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,869
Don't wake the sleepwalker.
123
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:52,938
Very dangerous.
124
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,840
Very dangerous.
125
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,410
You should be ashamed.
126
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:03,315
Don't yell at the sleepwalker.
127
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,983
Very humiliating.
128
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,786
Very humiliating.
129
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:11,990
ALF, is that a cockroach
on your shoulder?
130
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:15,126
Aah! Where? Where?
Get it off! Get it off!
131
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,499
I mean where am I?
132
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:27,305
Who am I?
It's, it's all so confusing.
133
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:29,074
Well, goodnight.
134
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:34,579
Ah! Feet back, spread them.
135
00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:36,181
Hey, hey, am I the only one here
136
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,450
with a salami
in his trench coat?
137
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,321
This has been going on for,
for days.
138
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:46,925
We're doing this for your,
for your own good.
139
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,393
Don't you remember?
140
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:52,163
Don't you remember
how you begged us to help you?
141
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,132
Willie, I'm not kidding.
142
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,968
I need food. Real food.
143
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,070
I can feel
my primitive instincts
144
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,172
starting to kick in.
145
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,975
[howls]
146
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,511
Who said that?
147
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:11,816
Why do you insist on making
an opera out of everything?
148
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:14,786
Part of my boyish charm,
I suppose.
149
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,755
[growls]
150
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,457
So where was I?
151
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:22,193
You were saying something
about your boyish charm
152
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,329
then you "grrr'd" at Willie.
153
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,097
[gasps]
154
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:29,434
Oh, no. I "grrr'd?"
155
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,002
It's happening already.
156
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:34,139
Once it starts,
I'm afraid I'll have to hunt
157
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:38,543
and kill fresh meat
to replace my enzymes.
158
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:41,913
- Goodnight, ALF.
- Happy hunting.
159
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,783
Fine. Don't believe me.
160
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,152
I'm going to need a loincloth.
161
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,794
Hurry up, Bri,
you're gonna be late for school.
162
00:09:55,796 --> 00:10:00,865
Melon and rice cake,
120 calories.
163
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:02,734
We're not all eating that,
are we?
164
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:06,504
To answer your question, Bri,
no, it's just for ALF.
165
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,540
Is he handling his diet
any better?
166
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:10,809
Better?
No, I wouldn't say better.
167
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:14,045
You should have seen the stunt
he tried to pull last night.
168
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,848
Poor guy, this really
isn't very easy for him.
169
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,951
Yesterday I caught him licking
all the empty trashcans
170
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:24,456
and he offered me $5
not to tell any..
171
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,124
Oops.
172
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:29,327
[ALF yelling]
173
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:37,102
[ALF yelling]
174
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:41,172
ALF! You know better than
to yell outside
175
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,474
in the yard like that.
176
00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:47,312
Whoa. Who you call ALF,
pale skin? Me Wolf.
177
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:51,082
Primitive Melmacian
hunting machine.
178
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,485
Pretty butch, huh?
179
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,487
[howls]
180
00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,625
There's another thing
you're not good at.
181
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:05,163
Oh. Guess Wolf need to get
knack of hunting thing.
182
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,565
But got the look down. Yes?
183
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:12,303
Dad, why is ALF acting this way?
184
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:16,041
[chuckles]
It's an elaborate
and annoying ploy
185
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:18,443
to get us to let him off
his diet.
186
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:21,246
It seems to work on both levels.
187
00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:22,914
We're supposed to think
that ALF--
188
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,349
Wolf.
189
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,685
Name Bambi already taken.
190
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:30,722
Wolf no match
for Disney legal department.
191
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:34,192
Look, Wolf, knock it off!
192
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,562
He wants us to believe
193
00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:40,765
that business about his enzymes
becoming unbalanced
194
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:44,436
and that causing his
primal instincts to kick in.
195
00:11:44,438 --> 00:11:45,904
Silence!
196
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,773
Wolf hear squirrel in distance.
197
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,443
Brian, start hibachi.
198
00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:56,781
Here to good friend
Tonight kind of special
199
00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:58,416
- ALF--
- Wolf.
200
00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,751
Wolf.
201
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:03,021
Come on in the house,
you've made your point.
202
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:07,058
No good,
Wolf must trap and hunt own food
203
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:11,329
before get too weak
and become food.
204
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,099
Well, I don't really have time
for this.
205
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,367
Thankfully,
I have to go to work.
206
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,670
You're not leaving me alone
with Wolf, are you?
207
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:22,807
No, no, let me call the office
and say I won't be in today
208
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:26,377
because my alien's diet
has made him a warrior hunter.
209
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,646
Silence, suburban ones.
210
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:32,150
You scare prey
from hunting ground.
211
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,687
See if you can get him
to eat something.
212
00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:37,455
I'll try to get home early.
213
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,090
I'll stay home with you, Mom.
214
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,925
Take your time.
215
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,128
[growling]
216
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,437
Any new developments
since I called?
217
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,439
Nothing.
He slept most of the day.
218
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:57,642
And refused to eat anything
he didn't hunt down himself.
219
00:12:57,644 --> 00:13:00,311
We even tried attaching a string
to a Pop-Tart
220
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:01,646
pulling it across the lawn
221
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:04,215
hoping he'd pounce on it
and kill it.
222
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:05,717
Pretty pathetic.
223
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:09,020
So he hasn't eaten anything
for two days.
224
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,922
His only catch
was a garden snail.
225
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:14,959
He let it go because he didn't
have any garlic and butter.
226
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:19,264
Wolf said he might be primitive,
but he isn't a barbarian.
227
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:21,199
Honey, I'm frightened.
228
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,168
Yeah. Every time we go
into the backyard
229
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,969
he throws a stick at us.
230
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,138
What are we gonna do?
231
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,240
Why do you automatically assume
232
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:32,477
that I have the answers
for these questions?
233
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,813
Should have read those
Smithsonian magazines
234
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,648
you got me for Christmas.
235
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,419
[ALF howls]
236
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,154
[tires screeches]
237
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:46,558
Oh, my Lord! Wolf just
drove off with our car.
238
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:04,742
It's over.
He could be anywhere now.
239
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:08,313
He could be half way
to Las Vegas by now.
240
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:10,014
Shouldn't we keep looking
for him?
241
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:13,585
Oh, honey, we've been all
up and down this neighborhood.
242
00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:15,620
Well, still,
we can't just give up.
243
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,689
I don't know
what else we can do.
244
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,758
We can't very well
scour the entire city.
245
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,694
And we can't very well
call the police
246
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,462
and tell them
there's a three-foot alien
247
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:28,566
driving around in an '82 Ford
looking for fresh meat.
248
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,735
Still, he's driving
without a license
249
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:34,038
and I don't think
our insurance will cover us.
250
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,241
[phone rings]
251
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:40,445
Hello?
252
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:42,280
Yes, this is Willie Tanner.
253
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:46,784
Is there a problem, officer?
254
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:47,952
Yes, that's our car.
255
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:50,722
Did you happen to find
anything unusual in it?
256
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:56,461
I-I think you'd know
what I mean.
257
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:01,232
How it got there?
258
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,501
Why, is there something wrong
259
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,637
with the way my wife
parked my car?
260
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,608
Well, you know women drivers.
Oh, sorry, ma'am.
261
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,345
Thank you,
we'll take care of it.
262
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,781
Yes, we will.
263
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:19,584
Oh, yes.
264
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,152
Goodbye.
265
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:25,089
- Was there any sign of ALF?
- No.
266
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,926
It seems Wolf is
running around loose
267
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:30,061
somewhere in Griffith Park.
268
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:31,596
Griffith Park?
269
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,299
Honey, that park can be
very dangerous at this hour.
270
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:38,403
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
271
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,505
I think I'll wait till morning.
272
00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:43,308
No, I mean dangerous to ALF.
273
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:46,010
Oh. Of course you did.
274
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:50,415
How silly of me to think of
myself just this once.
275
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,016
Honey, do you want me
to go with you?
276
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:55,253
No, no, no.
It's my own personal hell.
277
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,755
I might as well enjoy it.
278
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,290
Ah.
279
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,435
ALF?
280
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,371
Wolf?
281
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,846
ALF.
282
00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:23,381
- Ah!
- Ah!
283
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:28,987
Don't you know better than to
sneak up on someone like that?
284
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,322
What if I had a guest over?
285
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,524
Excuse me,
I wasn't expecting anyone.
286
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,927
- Hey, I live here.
- I'm sorry.
287
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:41,532
- Got a cigarette?
- No, I'm afraid I don't smoke.
288
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:45,703
Good for you. Smoking's bad.
289
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:49,007
Wish I could give them up,
but I'm under a lot of pressure.
290
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:54,379
Say, uh, you haven't seen
anything strange
291
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,247
or odd around here lately,
have you?
292
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:59,384
Lately? Hm.
293
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,586
Someone did throw a stick at me
earlier.
294
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:04,522
I think it was that little guy
from Fantasy Island.
295
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,525
What a way to end up.
296
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,261
He must be very bitter.
297
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:13,131
You didn't see which way
he went, did you?
298
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,665
Hey, it's not my business.
299
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,734
I try not to get involved.
300
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,105
Hey, so, what's your story?
301
00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:23,141
When did life turn against you?
302
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,143
[chuckles]
303
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,679
Four years ago, September.
304
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:31,449
Listen, I, uh,
I really have to go.
305
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,084
Oh, sure. Sure.
306
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:36,621
Hey, if you bump into
the little guy, be careful.
307
00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:39,023
He's really got a temper.
308
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:41,025
[ALF howling]
309
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:50,001
Ah. Say your prayers, Frenchie.
310
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:53,538
[ALF howls]
311
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,275
ALF.. Uh, Wolf.
312
00:17:57,277 --> 00:18:00,144
Oh. Big game.
313
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:02,246
Wolf have block party tonight.
314
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,115
B-Y-O-B.
315
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:09,220
What were you about to do
to this little toy poodle?
316
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:12,657
It no toy. It real.
317
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,560
Oh, ALF, this is just
someone's runaway dog.
318
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:17,995
Now listen, Wolf, listen to me.
319
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,800
Will you stop that?
320
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:27,138
Wolf too tired to hear
whiny man talk.
321
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,841
Must consume food.
322
00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:32,643
Listen, listen,
I'm sorry I doubted you.
323
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,679
I want you to come home now.
Come home with me.
324
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,614
I'll give you all the food
you need.
325
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:40,118
No. Must eat toy dog.
326
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:43,321
ALF? Wolf? Whatever.
327
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,589
Look at me.
328
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:47,024
Don't you recognize me?
329
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:49,227
Ah. Yes.
330
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:52,096
You Zog, the timid hunter.
331
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:55,867
I told you stay in cave,
finish bison mural.
332
00:18:55,869 --> 00:18:57,468
But no.
333
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:01,005
It's me, Willie.
334
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,107
Don't you remember?
335
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:06,310
Lynn? Brian? Eric? Kate?
336
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,179
[yells]
337
00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:10,314
Name bring fear.
338
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,650
Not know why.
339
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,752
(Willie)
Alright. Now.
340
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:17,855
Look at this, look, look.
This is candy.
341
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,056
[growling]
342
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,691
Yes! Candy. Come on.
343
00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:22,126
This could make you better.
344
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,761
This could make you
a lot better.
345
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:27,665
Take it. Please. Eat it. Eat.
346
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,735
Eat it for me, for Willie.
347
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:34,272
- Zog.
- Zog.
348
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,540
What heck.
349
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:38,009
Wolf kill better on sugar high.
350
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,077
Use Twinkie defense.
351
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,913
[growling]
352
00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:45,950
No! No! Wait! Wolf?
Wolf, where are you going?
353
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,718
Wolf! Wolf!
354
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,754
(male #1)
'Uh, excuse me.'
355
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:54,292
Look, I know you're new here
356
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:55,626
but it's not really a good idea
357
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,728
to be yelling "Wolf"
after 10 o'clock.
358
00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:00,765
Some of us have to get up early.
359
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:04,936
I'm sorry.
It was very inconsiderate of me.
360
00:20:04,938 --> 00:20:06,671
A hut.
361
00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:10,174
Hey, you work fast.
362
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:14,045
I've been here seven years.
Why didn't I think of that?
363
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:16,614
Oh, it's just something
I slapped together.
364
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:19,050
I see you've got yourself
a guard dog, too.
365
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:22,019
A hut and a dog.
The American dream.
366
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:25,389
I see things are really
coming together for you.
367
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:27,124
Thank you, thank you.
368
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:32,730
Well, oh, boy,
I guess I'll turn in now.
369
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,333
Oh, I understand.
First night in a new hut.
370
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,134
[chuckles]
371
00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:38,936
Ah, he'll be talking to himself
in a week.
372
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,005
Shut up, what do you know?
373
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,611
ALF, come on, come out of there.
374
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:50,615
Oh, look. Dog.
375
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,416
Stand back.
376
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,352
Why? I just want to pet him.
377
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:58,055
He's such
a cute little puppy dog.
378
00:20:58,057 --> 00:20:59,290
You're back.
379
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:01,459
You're no longer
the brave, pathetic
380
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:03,628
feeble, primitive warrior.
381
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:07,698
Hey, you're no prize.
382
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:11,402
Wait a minute. Where am I?
383
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:14,772
Ah. You finally did it,
didn't you?
384
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,843
You drove me to the woods
and dropped me off.
385
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,845
But why did you
dress me like this?
386
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:23,648
Was it just to humiliate me?
Huh?
387
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,650
We'll talk later.
388
00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:27,451
Actually, I kind of like it.
389
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:30,855
Kate's gonna wanna borrow
this outfit, I just know it.
390
00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:33,324
I wish she'd stay
out of my closet.
391
00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:35,026
Would you talk to her?
392
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,830
- Thanks again for finding her.
- Oh, no problem.
393
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,165
We were just glad
we were able to return her
394
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:43,901
before anything life-shattering
could happen.
395
00:21:45,238 --> 00:21:47,204
[dog barking]
396
00:21:47,206 --> 00:21:49,940
Don't, don't,
don't open the door.
397
00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:55,513
Kate, did you know that
bacon grease
398
00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:57,915
mixed with butterscotch syrup
399
00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:01,018
makes a delightful marinade?
400
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:04,288
I'll add that to my recipe file.
401
00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:08,125
It would be a shame
to disturb the cobwebs.
402
00:22:08,127 --> 00:22:11,228
I take it this is the end
of the hideous four-day diet?
403
00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:14,832
Absolutely.
I've got this eating thing down.
404
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,635
In fact, I'm thinking
about writing a diet book.
405
00:22:17,637 --> 00:22:20,204
ALF's Fat for Life Diet.
406
00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:23,874
Could be a big seller
in the Bavarian countries.
407
00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:25,443
Nice try, pal
408
00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:27,111
but most of the weight you lost
409
00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:29,847
in the last two days
was water weight.
410
00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:32,016
Oh, ha-ha.
411
00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:34,752
You know, I should have
eaten you when I had the chance.
412
00:22:37,290 --> 00:22:38,322
[grumbles]
413
00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:42,860
[theme music]
414
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,424
Ah-ha-ha-ha!
32260
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