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1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:03,869
And these pictures of Earth
were taken from space?
2
00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:05,804
Yeah. By satellite.
3
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:07,906
See that guy waving?
4
00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:10,309
- That's your dad.
- Really?
5
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:13,112
[laughs]
6
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,080
What's that?
7
00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:17,316
- Aah! Aah!
- Gotcha.
8
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:21,153
It took me four years
and I finally got you.
9
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,621
What can I say?
10
00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:25,024
You've learned well,
Grasshopper.
11
00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:26,558
Congratulations.
12
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,660
Ha! What a maroon!
13
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,663
Hello. Am I glad to be home?
14
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,400
Oh, sure, if you don't mind
15
00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:37,169
your son's going to
inherit a dying world.
16
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,339
What have you done now?
17
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:43,042
I was just showing Brian
where the world's rainforests
18
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:44,576
used to be.
19
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,245
You know, you guys
are really doing a number
20
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:47,746
on this planet.
21
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,081
If I were you,
I wouldn't expect to
22
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,283
get my security deposit back.
23
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,952
Were these free?
24
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:55,587
[laughs]
25
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,825
You wish.
26
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:02,394
You know, this has got me
very worried, Willie.
27
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,431
Everything I read in the papers
is bad news.
28
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:08,167
Oil spills, acid rain
29
00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:10,803
toxic dumping, Zsa Zsa.
30
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,606
I know it sometimes
looks pretty grim.
31
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,642
Oh, ha. Face it.
32
00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,644
Putting humans
in charge of the Earth
33
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:21,747
is the cosmic equivalent
of letting Eddie Murphy direct.
34
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:26,251
[theme music]
35
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,482
[music continues]
36
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,312
[instrumental music]
37
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,717
Oh, you're up early.
38
00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,519
I had trouble sleeping.
39
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:36,355
I heard something
very disturbing last night.
40
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:40,893
ALF, w-when two people
love each other--
41
00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:42,261
Oh, relax.
42
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,763
I wasn't listening at your door.
43
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:47,733
It was something
I heard on the radio.
44
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:49,701
[sighs]
45
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,170
I suppose I don't
have to tell you
46
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,571
what chlorofluorocarbons
47
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,940
are doing to
the Earth's atmosphere.
48
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:58,110
Although, I'd probably
have to tell Kate.
49
00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,611
You mean C.F.C.'s?
50
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:02,314
those man-made chemicals
used in coolants
51
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:03,882
which are responsible
for destroying
52
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,150
the Earth's ozone layer?
53
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,819
Those chlorofluorocarbons?
54
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:08,987
Lucky guess.
55
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:11,690
Now spell xylophone.
56
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:14,960
We're gonna be here
for quite a while, aren't we?
57
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:17,996
The guy on the radio said
this company called Sendrax
58
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:21,600
is one of the nation's
largest suppliers of C.F.C.'s.
59
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:26,338
And now you're sending a letter
to the station to thank them.
60
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:29,708
Please, God, that's all it is.
61
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:33,478
This happens to be a letter
to the head honcho of Sendrax.
62
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,881
A letter? Good for you.
63
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,216
Well, thank you.
64
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,917
Anyone care to read it?
65
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,652
It's quite, quite, quite
66
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:43,255
quite, quite, quite, quite good.
67
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,926
"Dear Sendrax,
manufacturing C.F.C.'s
68
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,362
is a threat to the survival
of the planet.
69
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:53,732
"In fact, I'll go out on a limb
and say it's wrong.
70
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,735
Damn wrong!
So just knock it off."
71
00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,905
Very well-reasoned.
72
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,473
And the use of the glitter pen
73
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:03,775
gives it a certain
visual appeal.
74
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:07,012
- Good luck.
- Don't.. Don't encourage him.
75
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,547
Oh, Willie, it's one letter.
76
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,182
It's the same thing
that we would do.
77
00:04:10,184 --> 00:04:11,883
It always starts out
harmlessly enough
78
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,653
and then we're left there,
just left there scrambling
79
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:17,556
for yet another mortgage.
80
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,791
He feels strongly about it.
81
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:22,461
And you know
he's gonna do it anyway.
82
00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:28,400
[instrumental music]
83
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:31,270
And another thing.
84
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:34,106
Besides destroying
the ozone layer
85
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:39,678
C.F.C.'s also contribute to,
uh, the greenhouse effect
86
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,481
which is heating up
the Earth's atmosphere.
87
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:46,351
Now, I find this
especially troublesome because..
88
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:48,720
Well, I have a lot of hair.
89
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,757
(male #1)
'Right. Uh, thank you, Gordon.'
90
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:54,259
'And remember, callers,
today's topic is'
91
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,328
'home health care
for the elderly.'
92
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:59,331
Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh, I'm
in favor of that, by the way.
93
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:02,701
(male #1)
'Murray, I thought you were
screening these calls.'
94
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,706
ALF, you shouldn't be
on the radio.
95
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:11,743
Well, T.V. tends to
make my nose look large.
96
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:14,146
You got another letter
from Sendrax.
97
00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:16,715
Ooh! Ooh, I'm so excited.
98
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,317
Am I drooling?
99
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,886
Thankfully, not yet.
100
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,054
Ah.
101
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,892
"Dear Mr. Shumway.
Thank you for your letter.
102
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:29,695
Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
103
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:32,698
We, too, are concerned
about the environment."
104
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,934
Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
105
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,805
Ugh. Blown off again.
106
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:42,541
Maybe you should just drop it.
107
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:44,943
No, I can't sit idly by
108
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:48,080
and watch another planet
be destroyed.
109
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:50,282
That would make me oh for three.
110
00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:51,783
Three?
111
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:54,720
Guy has to have some secrets.
112
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:57,556
I'm prepared to
send thousands of letters.
113
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,991
Hundreds, if that's
what it takes.
114
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,895
[instrumental music]
115
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,299
"Dear Sendrax.
116
00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:10,202
"You should stop making C.F.C.'s
117
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:13,004
"because as Gordon Shumway says
118
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:16,408
"'There's no zone
like the ozone.'
119
00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:20,178
"Much love.
120
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,183
Marvin Hamlisch."
121
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:30,856
There's a notation
in my checkbook
122
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:34,126
for a $300 payment
to the post office.
123
00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:37,796
Oh, oh, oh. And you think
I'm responsible, don't you?
124
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,832
Because that's what the tone
of your voice implies, mister.
125
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:44,436
And if you think you can just
waltz in here and accuse me of--
126
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:48,206
Just admit it, ALF.
Why? Why? Why? Why?
127
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:51,109
Why? Why? Why?
128
00:06:54,148 --> 00:06:56,214
Alright, alright.
129
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:59,117
I needed to send
a thousand letters to Sendrax
130
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:02,120
and I ran out of stamps
after the first six.
131
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,823
I hope that clears up
the matter.
132
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,327
Did it ever occur to you
that when I tape my checkbook
133
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:10,796
to the underside
of my sock drawer
134
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:13,265
it means I don't want
you using it?
135
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,600
Well, I'm not a mind reader.
136
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,504
Contrary to popular belief
137
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:22,174
I do not exist
merely to bankroll you.
138
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,176
So that's it, huh?
139
00:07:24,178 --> 00:07:26,711
You're cutting me off
at the knees.
140
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,346
Consider yourself lucky.
141
00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,615
Kate suggested a foot higher.
142
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:34,085
Eh. She'd have to
catch me first.
143
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,990
I knew it. I knew
this was gonna end badly.
144
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,659
Why are you always
145
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,994
doing these things
without asking me?
146
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:47,466
Why are you always
testing my l...limits?
147
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:50,936
Why is this letter
signed "Marvin Hamlisch"?
148
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,773
Are they all signed
"Marvin Hamlisch"?
149
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:58,176
No, that would be stupid.
150
00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,579
Every letter
has a different name.
151
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:04,216
But all of them
quote me on the radio.
152
00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:05,884
See, that way Sendrax will think
153
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:08,820
I've created
a groundswell of support.
154
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,356
Shockingly clever, isn't it?
155
00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:12,524
[telephone rings]
156
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:15,160
If that's Barry Manilow,
I'm not home.
157
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:22,100
Hello.
158
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,169
Yes. Just a moment.
159
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,404
It's for you.
160
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,039
I'll try to keep it short.
161
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,275
You've been very understanding,
by the way.
162
00:08:32,446 --> 00:08:34,379
Hello.
163
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,781
Yeah, this is Gordon Shumway.
164
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,518
It's someone from Sendrax.
165
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,053
Oh, I feel so muy important.
166
00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:46,591
Somehow, we've
got to get you into therapy.
167
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,595
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
168
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,965
No, no, we haven't
dropped the plans
169
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:57,068
to go ahead
with the consumer boycott.
170
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,638
[whispers]
I've got them scared.
171
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:01,940
A meeting?
172
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,309
I don't think
that would be possible.
173
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,113
A lawsuit?
174
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,648
Uh..
175
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,750
Would I be suing you..
176
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:14,019
...or would you be suing me?
177
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,188
I see.
178
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,592
It's for you.
179
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:32,837
[softly]
Hello.
180
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,877
[instrumental music]
181
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,414
ALF, you have got to think
182
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,783
what did you say
in those letters?
183
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,085
Well, there were so many.
184
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:50,055
I don't recall
any one underlying theme.
185
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,857
Does threat, squat and run
186
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:55,293
mean anything to you?
187
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:58,863
Well, maybe
one underlying theme.
188
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,435
Oh, look at that,
it's punishment time.
189
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,870
What did the lawyer say, dad?
190
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,806
He said he bills
by the quarter-hour
191
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,975
and that he generally
discourages people
192
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:11,810
from antagonizing corporations
193
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,179
that have more resources
than God.
194
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,682
Well, may I offer
195
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:20,852
a few feeble words
in my own defense?
196
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,090
Thank you.
197
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:28,026
That company
is doing bad things.
198
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:30,662
And I say we pick up
their gauntlet
199
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,731
and nail them to the wall.
200
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,532
Right, Brian?
201
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,835
What? I'm sorry, what?
202
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,171
Oh, it might not be
such a bad idea
203
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,974
to meet with Sendrax
and beg for mercy.
204
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:46,311
No, in a dignified way,
of course.
205
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,846
I never had to grovel.
206
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,447
Should I start on my knees
207
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,850
or should I build up to it?
208
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:55,053
[instrumental music]
209
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:01,192
Mr. Shumway? I'm sorry
to keep you waiting.
210
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,762
I'm Steve Michaels.
It's nice to meet you.
211
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,296
[stuttering]
As I was telling your secretary
212
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:08,033
my, my real name is Tanner,
Willie Tanner.
213
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,502
Oh, oh, well, I can see
why you changed it.
214
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,671
Mine's Stephanovich Miglorisky
215
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:15,707
but Steve Michaels is much less
ethnic, don't you think?
216
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:16,908
Uh-huh.
217
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:19,678
Please. Please.
218
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,880
Well, you've created
219
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,848
quite a stir
at the front office.
220
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,850
[chuckles]
221
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,219
That's why I'd like to
take this time to tell you
222
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:31,890
that we at Sendrax
are very, very concerned
223
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,892
about the environment.
224
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,827
Of course. I'm sure you are.
225
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,563
Definitely.
That's good enough for me.
226
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,965
And that's why we're joining
other concerned companies
227
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,767
to stop the production
of C.F.C.'s
228
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,102
within the next 10 years.
229
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,370
Oh.
230
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,905
So you can see how
231
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,540
mounting a campaign against us
232
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:49,808
would be foolish, can't you?
233
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,009
As foolish as our using
234
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:53,311
our immense legal staff
235
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,679
to stop you in court.
236
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:57,082
Not to mention costly.
237
00:11:57,084 --> 00:12:00,085
Absolutely. Foolish and costly.
238
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,454
And if you let me go..
239
00:12:02,456 --> 00:12:05,056
I mean, when I go
240
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,292
I'm going to tell that
to my supporters
241
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:11,529
and I know you're not gonna have
any more problems.
242
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,964
Excellent. Excellent.
243
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,667
Then we're in agreement.
Great. Great. Great.
244
00:12:15,669 --> 00:12:17,302
Hey, let me give you
some souvenirs
245
00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:19,070
so you can walk away
with something, huh?
246
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:22,207
- Oh, okay. Thanks.
- Huh?
247
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,742
- Do you have any kids?
- Yeah.
248
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:26,311
Oh, yeah. I've got three kids.
249
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:30,115
I.. I have two, uh,
I have two boys and, uh..
250
00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:31,883
- I, uh..
- Oh, well, great.
251
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:33,518
They'll love this stuff.
252
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:34,786
- There you go.
- Oh!
253
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,688
Thank you very much.
254
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,857
Well, thank you.
255
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,893
Thank you very much.
And, and, and goodbye.
256
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,795
Oh, it's always nice to
meet someone who cares
257
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:46,131
but doesn't get
annoying about it.
258
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,802
Uh..
259
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,507
You know..
260
00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:58,643
You know what my kids would love
more than any of this?
261
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,879
They'd really love to
have some reassurance
262
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,614
that they're gonna be
left an environment
263
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,650
that's not been decimated
by corporate indifference.
264
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:06,918
I, I don't really think
265
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,154
that's all that much
to ask, do you?
266
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:11,589
How about a really nice
fanny pack, instead?
267
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,160
I can't guarantee
they're gonna be left a world
268
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:18,296
with any ozone layer.
or any rainforests
269
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:22,133
or any living things at all
for that matter.
270
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,335
You know, you can't just
turn around in 50 years
271
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:27,205
and say, "Uh-oh.
We made a mistake."
272
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,874
Because who's gonna
be there to hear it?
273
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:35,246
I'm sorry, Mr. Michaels,
at the risk of angering
274
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:38,550
your immense legal staff..
275
00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:40,351
...this problem
isn't gonna go away
276
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,954
just because
you choose to ignore it.
277
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:46,825
Well said.
278
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:49,561
Very, very, well said.
279
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,097
I'm sorry. I couldn't,
I couldn't contain myself.
280
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:57,101
I, I admire that commitment.
That passion, you know?
281
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,304
You're an
articulate man, Gordon.
282
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:00,872
Frankly, we're
always looking for
283
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,007
just that kind of people
around here.
284
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,542
- Yeah.
- Okay. I'm going.
285
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:07,645
No. The-there's an opening
in public relations.
286
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,049
Of course, the money isn't bad.
287
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,084
I mean, 75 a year.
288
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,352
I'm just assuming from your suit
289
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,121
that's considerably more
than you're making.
290
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,957
You're offering me a job?
291
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,358
That includes
two Lakers season tickets
292
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,327
if you don't mind
sitting courtside.
293
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,996
Nicholson yells a lot, but he
knows a lot of fancy women.
294
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:30,735
Mr. Michaels,
with all due respect..
295
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:33,104
...would you expect me to
take a job with a company
296
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:36,674
that's responsible
for destroying..
297
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:42,380
Would that be all the home games
and the parking?
298
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:46,684
You're a shrewd businessman.
299
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,920
I just wanna be clear.
300
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:51,856
[instrumental music]
301
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:55,026
(ALF)
'"Sendrax: We Care."'
302
00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:59,097
This stuff is way cool.
303
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:02,267
I can't believe it was free.
304
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:05,703
So you're considering
his offer, aren't you?
305
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,372
[sighs]
I know they're not
306
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,674
the most socially conscious
company in the world
307
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:12,010
but even so,
it would give me a chance
308
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:15,346
to try to affect
some change from inside.
309
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,849
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, I see.
310
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:19,217
You're saying that realistically
311
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,885
what kind of change
could I affect
312
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,854
in that position?
313
00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:24,122
No.
314
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,156
So, so then you're saying
315
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,491
it wasn't my eloquent speech
316
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:30,061
it was just their way
of buying me off?
317
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,263
Willie, listen to me.
I'm not saying anything.
318
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,666
Kate, will you get off his back?
319
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,469
You think I'm fooling myself,
don't you?
320
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:41,172
You think that not only would I
not be doing the right thing
321
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:43,474
but that I'm selling out
everything I believe in
322
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:47,478
for $75,000, and a chance
to meet Jack Nicholson.
323
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,448
Would you take the job, Willie?
324
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,084
Then you could hire me
as your assistant.
325
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:57,989
Together we can
destroy the company from within.
326
00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,657
ALF, please.
327
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,926
It's not without precedent.
328
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:04,262
Look at C.B.S.
329
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:05,830
Dad, if there's
any chance at all
330
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,132
that you can use your position
to make a difference
331
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,268
from inside the company,
don't you think
332
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:11,903
you owe it to yourself to try?
333
00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:14,706
I mean, really try?
334
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,474
- What do you think, Kate?
- No, Willie.
335
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,810
- No--
- No, this is your decision.
336
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,712
Well, what do you really think?
337
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:24,782
Well, I...I was
thinking about Earth Day.
338
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,284
Oh.
339
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,486
- Yeah. 1970.
- 'Yeah.'
340
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,488
We organized that sit-in
against that company
341
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,390
that was polluting
the bay, remember?
342
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,925
And they had just
shampooed the carpets
343
00:16:33,927 --> 00:16:35,093
we all got these terrible rashes
344
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,127
and had to spend the night
345
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,229
at the free clinic.
346
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,098
It was quite a sight.
347
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:43,201
Three hundred people
from every walk of life
348
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:45,636
chanting and scratching.
349
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:51,376
Who am I kidding?
I'm not taking that job.
350
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,277
Oh, but I'm telling you, Willie
351
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:56,814
we can crush that company
in five days.
352
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:59,584
Three, if we work nights.
353
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:02,620
ALF, we'll beat them
some other way.
354
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:05,089
Trust me.
355
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,925
Alright, alright.
356
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,961
It'll do me good anyway
to tell Michaels
357
00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:12,663
what he can do with his job.
358
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,566
Well, this time
when you tell him off
359
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,669
see if they have any
jogging suits to go with my hat.
360
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,408
[instrumental music]
361
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:25,243
[intercom buzzes]
362
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,944
(Laurel)
'Mr. Michaels.'
363
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:29,247
'Mr. Shumway is here.'
364
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,649
Fine. Send him in.
365
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,584
Tanner. It's Tanner.
366
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:37,455
Pete. Michaels. Yeah.
367
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,957
See if you can get me
a tanning bed at 5:30.
368
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,793
I'm going to Saint-Tropez
and I don't wanna look like
369
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:43,928
the twin moons of Jupiter
out there.
370
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,163
Okay.
371
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:49,000
Hey, Willie.
How's it going, bub?
372
00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:50,635
Mr. Michaels.
373
00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:54,639
If you were doing something
that was bad for you
374
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:57,842
and somebody pointed it
out to you that it was
375
00:17:57,844 --> 00:18:00,912
would it take you 10 years
to stop doing it?
376
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,480
Ah, well, before you go on
377
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,715
I think I should tell you
you're talking to the wrong man.
378
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:08,252
I'm not gonna be shoved off
on somebody else.
379
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,521
Did you know that
if you took the ozone layer
380
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:12,356
and laid it on the ground,
it would only be
381
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:14,025
about as thick
as a piece of canvas?
382
00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:19,063
And holes larger than Antarctica
have already been found in it.
383
00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:20,498
And phytoplankton
384
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,634
that's the ocean's
first step in the food chain
385
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,437
can be destroyed
by just a 10 percent increase
386
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,306
in ultraviolet light?
387
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:31,275
This isn't about skin cancer..
388
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,344
...or cataracts
389
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:36,280
it's about
the end of the planet!
390
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:40,184
Again, brilliantly spoken.
391
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:43,020
However, as I tried to
tell you earlier
392
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:44,555
I'm leaving.
393
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,191
The new management
is bringing in fresh meat.
394
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:48,759
What? I'm sorry.
395
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,394
Oh, don't be.
396
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,864
Who cares? I don't.
397
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:54,765
You want these?
398
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,634
Well, uh, how about
these paper clips?
399
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,570
- No, no. No, thanks.
- Oh, I insist. Take them.
400
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:02,340
Go on, take anything.
I hate these people.
401
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,742
You need a phone?
402
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,377
Say, uh, this isn't
going to have
403
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,412
quite the impact that I'd hoped
404
00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:11,282
but I'm not taking that job.
405
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,584
Uh-huh. That's too bad. Yeah.
406
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,620
Don't you care?
407
00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:18,523
Have you gotten so caught up
in this corporate game
408
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:21,626
that you've lost sight
of what matters?
409
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,961
Ah. So you're taking this
to a personal level.
410
00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:27,665
People have to care.
411
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,401
[scoffs]
Read your hat, man.
412
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:31,969
I've got an idea.
413
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:35,006
I think you're gonna like this.
It's gonna be fun.
414
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:38,776
Laurel, get me Jacobs
at the Baton Rouge plant.
415
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,279
If it means anything
416
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:43,548
I'm getting out of C.F.C.'s.
417
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:45,750
I'm going to a company
that makes textiles
418
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:48,953
or textbooks or Tex-Mex,
I don't know.
419
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,288
[intercom buzzes]
420
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,490
(Laurel)
'Mr. Jacobs on line four'
421
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:54,692
These people think they can just
422
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,394
kick my white butt out of here.
423
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:57,995
By this time next week,
they're gonna have to
424
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,531
turn me over to recognize me.
425
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,434
Rob? Hi, how's it going?
426
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:05,937
That's good. Great, great.
427
00:20:05,939 --> 00:20:09,407
Listen, this just came down
from the top.
428
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:13,144
At noon today, we're gonna
stop making C.F.C.'s.
429
00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:14,579
That's right.
430
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,415
Uh, stop thinking
about yourself for a second.
431
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,749
They're bad for the environment.
432
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:21,886
We care about
stuff like that, don't we?
433
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,888
Read your hat.
434
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:27,825
Okay. See you at the picnic.
435
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:31,596
That's it? One phone call?
436
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,497
Oh, well, they'll
figure it out in a few days
437
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:35,766
and start back up again.
438
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:38,736
Of course, um,
if you were to call the media
439
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,938
and tell them Sendrax
had turned over a new leaf
440
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,941
it might make it
a little harder for them.
441
00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:45,676
Yeah, I could do that.
442
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:48,212
I almost worked
in public relations once.
443
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:49,480
[both chuckle]
444
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:52,283
You know, I'm not
really a bad guy.
445
00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:55,219
I care about things too. I do.
446
00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,221
Maybe not very deeply,
but all the same
447
00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:59,123
I love the outdoors,
and I think the Earth
448
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:01,325
is just a great, great place.
449
00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:04,762
Really, I mean that.
It is. Yeah.
450
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:08,432
- You play racquetball?
- Uh, afraid not.
451
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,468
Thanks. Uh, thanks
for what you did.
452
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,870
Oh, hey, I was just happy
to stick it to them.
453
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:14,905
[chuckles]
454
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:17,875
Say, uh, there's just one thing
I'd like to know.
455
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,244
Did you offer me that job
456
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:22,413
because you thought
I was right for it
457
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:25,516
or was it just to keep me quiet?
458
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,718
[chuckles]
We came this far together.
459
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,421
Do you really wanna
test our friendship?
460
00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:31,922
[chuckles]
461
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:38,796
Thanks. Thanks for the phone.
462
00:21:40,867 --> 00:21:43,534
[instrumental music]
463
00:21:45,238 --> 00:21:47,738
[instrumental music]
464
00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:52,677
Oh, oh, here's another one.
465
00:21:52,679 --> 00:21:54,545
Did you know
that statistics prove
466
00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:57,381
if you turn the tap off
when you brush your teeth
467
00:21:57,383 --> 00:22:01,052
you'd save 10 to 15
gallons of water every time?
468
00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:05,122
Did you know
that statistics prove
469
00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:06,957
that those who ramble on and on
470
00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,659
long after they've been
asked to stop
471
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:11,362
are more prone to head injuries?
472
00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:15,066
Oh, ha! I can top that one.
473
00:22:15,068 --> 00:22:17,001
Did you know that
if everyone recycled
474
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:19,637
just one-tenth
of their newspaper
475
00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:23,107
we could save about
25 million trees every year.
476
00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:27,345
Willie, would you get me
the meat mallet?
477
00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:28,746
It's a good book, Kate.
478
00:22:28,748 --> 00:22:31,949
It's got things in it
that everyone can do.
479
00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:33,851
Hey, did you know that
if every family
480
00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:35,553
planted one tree,
we could replenish--
481
00:22:35,555 --> 00:22:37,755
It's in the top drawer.
482
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:40,925
Look, we're recycling.
483
00:22:40,927 --> 00:22:42,927
We're gonna boycott tuna,
we're writing letters
484
00:22:42,929 --> 00:22:46,764
about the rainforest,
and you are driving me crazy.
485
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:49,900
But did you write those letters
on recycled paper?
486
00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:52,503
That's it. That's it.
487
00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:54,872
I give up. I give up!
488
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:57,475
Luckily, she's got me here
to remind her.
489
00:22:58,845 --> 00:23:03,714
Oh, hey, Willie, did you know
that if we recycle aluminum cans
490
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:05,950
we can cut related air pollution
491
00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:08,452
by 95 percent?
492
00:23:10,189 --> 00:23:11,522
Willie?
493
00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:16,060
[theme music]
494
00:23:40,319 --> 00:23:43,521
[ALF laughs]
38771
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