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1
00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:03,268
(man on TV)
'Thank you, Spiro.'
2
00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:04,803
'So come and share
in the splendor'
3
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:07,172
'of Navajo Meadows timeshares.'
4
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,174
'Just 30 minutes
from Broken Hole'
5
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,844
'but a world away
from your cares.'
6
00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,614
[applauding]
7
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:19,718
How about that Spiro Agnew?
Isn't he great?
8
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,154
Yes. And so versatile.
9
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,590
So, what do you say now,
Willie, Kate?
10
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:30,095
Are you committed to the concept
of timeshare condominium living?
11
00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:32,431
(both)
No.
12
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,833
Maybe if we took one more
look at the video.
13
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:38,070
No. No, please, no more.
14
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:39,738
Excuse me, would you?
15
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,242
- Harry.
- Mm-hmm?
16
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,877
Put the pen away.
17
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,749
Imagine that.
18
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:53,685
We could be neighbors
with Spiro Agnew!
19
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:59,324
Think about it. Don't you have
a lot of questions?
20
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:03,962
The only thing I have
is an overwhelming desire
21
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:07,733
to get the people
you invited out of this house.
22
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:12,838
Okay, okay. But don't let them
leave before you get the prize.
23
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,573
I feel it this time.
24
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,376
You're gonna win us
that Chevy Blazer.
25
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:21,814
Nobody wins the Chevy Blazer.
26
00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:26,552
That's what R. L. Smith
of South Carolina used to think.
27
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:30,289
[theme music]
28
00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:00,519
[music continues]
29
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,983
[instrumental music]
30
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:36,722
Yes, I'm canceling
that appointment.
31
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:39,258
Well, I don't feel
that I have any use
32
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:43,061
for a home flotation tank.
33
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:47,766
I suppose I do sound like
I could use one. Goodbye.
34
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:50,869
ALF, are you sure that's all
the appointments you set up?
35
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,204
Yeah, yeah.
36
00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:55,340
You know you just blew our shot
at winning the round trip
37
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,876
on the Fun Bus to Vegas?
38
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:02,414
If I told you once,
I told you a thousand times.
39
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:06,018
You're not to invite salesmen
into the house!
40
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:09,388
Well, it is funny
how that hasn't sunk in yet.
41
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:12,191
Why do you suppose that is?
42
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:15,027
Because you don't listen.
43
00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,029
No, that's not it.
44
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,265
I have to punish you.
45
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:23,468
Should I assume the position?
46
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:26,538
Go to the attic until we decide
what to do with you.
47
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,975
- No.
- No? What do you mean, no?
48
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:34,079
I mean I'm not going.
What do you think about that?
49
00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:36,715
Ooh. Your turn, dad.
50
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,684
As long as
you're living under this roof
51
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,552
you'll do
what we tell you to do.
52
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,888
Well, in that case,
I'm out of here.
53
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:46,592
I'm hitting the bricks.
I'm history, I'm vapor.
54
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:49,761
Yeah, sure.
We've heard that before.
55
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:53,198
Yeah. Well, not another day
under tyranny's heavy thumb.
56
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,934
Goodbye, Willie.
57
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,704
Goodbye, Kate.
Goodbye, children.
58
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:02,374
I think I shall miss you
most of all.
59
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,143
Yeah. Okay, go.
60
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:08,814
We'll warn you just before
the automatic sprinklers go on.
61
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:12,084
Don't bother.
This time I mean it.
62
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:17,756
If there's one thing that alien
has learned in his time on Earth
63
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,659
it's how to make an exit.
64
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:26,064
(ALF)
'Oh, lordy, lordy,
I'm free at last!'
65
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,199
[door closes]
66
00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:28,600
See?
67
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,604
[instrumental music]
68
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,108
There he is. I can see him.
69
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,643
Where? I don't see anything.
70
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,645
See that shadow
right by the garage?
71
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,446
If he thinks
I'm gonna give in to him again
72
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,982
he's got another thing coming.
73
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:47,753
Well, no matter what,
the sprinklers come on at 9:30.
74
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:50,856
And you know how musty
he smells when he's wet.
75
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,993
I'll get my jacket.
76
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:58,697
[instrumental music]
77
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,973
Oh. Well, that settles it.
78
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,842
I am my own worst enemy.
79
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,577
I could be watching
"Beauty And The Beast"
80
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,579
right now.
81
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,281
What I wouldn't give to
have a great setup
82
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,983
in a sewer like that.
83
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,486
Wait a minute.
84
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:26,158
If I go back now,
they'll never take me seriously.
85
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,194
But they never did take me
seriously.
86
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,929
Why, I ought to..
87
00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:34,399
I'm out of here.
88
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:35,634
(Willie)
ALF?
89
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:38,670
ALF?
90
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,107
Hey, ALF?
91
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:44,943
[sprinklers sputtering]
92
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:47,179
Oh, no.
93
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:54,052
[instrumental music]
94
00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,759
- Oh, honey. You're soaked.
- No kidding.
95
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,796
Where's ALF?
Wasn't he out there?
96
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:09,434
No, no, the, uh, the shadow
turned out to be a lawn chair.
97
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:14,906
And that's the last time a lawn
chair is going to disobey me.
98
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:18,944
Well, you know,
he's never carried it
99
00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:22,214
to this extreme before.
I hope he's okay.
100
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:23,849
He'll be okay, he'll be fine.
101
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:27,719
As long as he stays quiet,
maintains a low profile
102
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,955
stays out of trouble..
103
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,022
[sighs]
104
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,057
He's dead.
105
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,563
[instrumental music]
106
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,735
And this was my grandmother's
snowstorm paperweight.
107
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:47,939
See, when you shake it,
it snows.
108
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,141
Whoa.
109
00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:52,344
So she left you
the bulk of her estate, huh?
110
00:06:52,346 --> 00:06:54,012
[glass shatters]
111
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:59,184
- Oh.
- That was an accident. I swear.
112
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,786
I was nowhere near it.
113
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,922
Um....that's okay, ALF.
114
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,591
I still have the box it came in.
115
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,560
These things happen.
116
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,362
Really?
117
00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:12,631
What else you got?
118
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,400
Willie sounded awfully mad
on the phone.
119
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,803
What did you two fight about?
120
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:19,371
What's it always about?
121
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,907
I just invited
some people over to talk about
122
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:25,410
timeshare living in New Mexico.
123
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:27,212
Ooh, timeshares.
124
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:30,282
- Did they bring pamphlets?
- Yeah.
125
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:35,554
They were like Jehovah's
Witnesses, only with prizes.
126
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,689
ALF, I'm awfully glad
you're here.
127
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,491
I was hoping
I'd get a chance to talk to you
128
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:41,626
about your amazing life.
129
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,862
Well, what do you wanna know?
130
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:47,566
Well, how far away was Melmac?
131
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:50,869
Well, that's a toughie.
In feet?
132
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:53,505
Pretty far, I guess.
133
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:56,408
Well, what solar system
is it in?
134
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,677
I don't know.
135
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:01,146
This may be a good time
to tell you
136
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,114
I was a P.E. major.
137
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,550
[doorbell rings]
138
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,686
- 'It's me, Willie.'
- Oh, great.
139
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:10,188
The fun police have arrived.
140
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,995
Hey, Willie. You didn't
have to come rushing over.
141
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:20,632
I can't believe
you'd run off like that.
142
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:23,068
You know how worried we were?
143
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:27,873
Neal, I'm sorry to burden you
with our burden.
144
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,975
Well, that's alright.
145
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,576
Actually,
we were having a good time.
146
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,645
He's a pretty fun guy.
147
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,914
Then you should see me
in a dress.
148
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:40,285
In a white wig I look
exactly like Estelle Getty.
149
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:43,989
I guess that's pretty obvious,
though, huh?
150
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:47,993
Come on, ALF, let's go.
You're still not off the hook.
151
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:50,662
Oh, yeah, the beating.
152
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,164
Willie!
153
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,700
Well, that's ridiculous.
I never touched him.
154
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,636
But you want to, don't you?
155
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,404
Huh? Huh? Huh?
156
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,941
Come on. Let's go.
157
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:08,380
Willie, he's shaking.
158
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:11,883
It's a ploy. Stop it.
159
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:19,558
You know, Willie,
it might not be so bad
160
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,860
if you let ALF stay with me
for a while.
161
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,029
Give us a chance
to get to know each other
162
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:26,765
and Lord knows you two can use
some time apart.
163
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,368
I don't think you really know
what spending time
164
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,405
with ALF can mean.
165
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:36,374
Willie, hey, don't make him beg.
166
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,209
He's already agreed.
167
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:43,381
I guess I could talk
Kate into it.
168
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:47,686
But, uh, you're gonna need
a reliable fire extinguisher
169
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:50,989
and fresh batteries
for your smoke detector.
170
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:54,059
You gotta put 9-1-1
on speed dialing.
171
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,795
Trust me,
you'll need the time.
172
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,496
Make out your will
173
00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:02,734
and other than that,
hey, have fun.
174
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,302
Thanks, Willie.
175
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:08,273
Lordy, lordy,
I'm free at last.
176
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,443
Don't hate me.
177
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:19,417
[instrumental music]
178
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:24,522
(woman on phone)
'So, Thor, I never heard you
on the party line before.'
179
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,491
'Tell me about yourself.'
180
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:28,860
Well, I'm pretty average.
181
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:33,331
I'm 6'5 with rippling abs.
182
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:37,335
But enough about me.
What are your stats, babe?
183
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:42,741
(woman on phone)
'Well, I'm 5'8, have dimples,
azure-blue eyes'
184
00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:45,977
'long, blond hair,
and perfectly shaped--'
185
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:49,814
Oh, come on.
I was honest with you.
186
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,784
Hello?
187
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,419
Hello?
188
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,854
Touchy.
189
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,591
- Hi, ALF.
- 'Hi.'
190
00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:02,160
Oh, ALF..
191
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:06,064
I thought
you were gonna clean up.
192
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,633
I did.
Nice of you to notice.
193
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:12,003
That beer-can pyramid?
Gone.
194
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,908
Oh, ALF, what happened
to the window?
195
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,877
It's been broken for days.
196
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,979
You could just see it now.
197
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,449
[Neal sighs]
198
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:27,519
Did you call the electrician
about Apartment 16?
199
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,789
You were serious about that?
200
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:33,391
I thought you were kidding.
201
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:36,528
Why would I be kidding
about an electrician?
202
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:40,832
I don't know. It didn't seem
very funny to me, either.
203
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,134
I'll do it tomorrow.
204
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:46,371
Look, ALF, I don't wanna
sound insensitive
205
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,307
but it has been a week
and I thought we agreed that
206
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,443
while you were here
you'd help out.
207
00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:54,813
Well, I'm following
the spirit of that agreement.
208
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,981
[yawns]
Now I need a nap.
209
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,850
[doorbell rings]
210
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,051
Oh, uh..
211
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:03,655
Quick, uh, go to the bathroom.
212
00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:05,290
Okay.
213
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:09,527
Now what?
214
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:10,862
Oh..
215
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:14,999
Oh, chill out.
I knew what you meant. Ha!
216
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,208
[gasps]
Mrs. Watson.
217
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,043
How are you today?
How's every little thing?
218
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:27,746
Hello, Mr. Tanner.
May I come in?
219
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:31,049
Oh, gee, do you have to?
220
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:35,053
I guess I could reprimand you
in the hall.
221
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,989
- Please, come in.
- Thank you.
222
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,459
Look at this place.
223
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:48,566
Um, I don't have an answer
for that. I-I wish I did.
224
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,971
We've had a lot of complaints
about you
225
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,906
from the other tenants.
226
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,241
You have?
227
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,012
I'm afraid so.
228
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:04,215
But I told them, he's new,
he's down on his luck
229
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:07,652
his wife threw him out,
and he's a little pathetic.
230
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:11,456
Well, thank you.
I appreciate your kind words.
231
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,292
I hired you
because I felt sorry for you.
232
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:19,998
But even so, sinks have to flow,
toilets have to flush.
233
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,833
That's the way the world works.
234
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,601
Well, uh, there's a lovely
235
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,670
simple wisdom in that,
Mrs. Watson.
236
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:28,206
And I promise I'll do better.
237
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:32,210
Please, just remember why you
hired me in the first place.
238
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,712
Don't test me, Mr. Tanner.
239
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:38,349
Being pathetic will only get you
so far in life.
240
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,224
Don't worry about her.
241
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,760
We're gonna
get through this together.
242
00:13:48,762 --> 00:13:51,863
What, do you think you can get
to some of those phone calls?
243
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,965
Don't test me, Mr. Tanner.
244
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:59,237
Oh, lighten up, Neal. Ha, ha!
245
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,339
Ha..
246
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,912
[scatting]
247
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:10,315
¶ Tutti frutti oh Rudy ¶
248
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:12,717
¶ Tutti frutti oh Rudy ¶
249
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,953
¶ Tutti frutti oh Rudy ¶
250
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:17,288
¶ Tutti frutti oh Rudy ¶
251
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,823
¶ Tutti frutti oh Rudy ¶
252
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,358
ALF!
253
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,993
[scatting]
254
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,128
- ALF!
- Hey, Neal.
255
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:27,165
Come on, let's party
till the cows come home.
256
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,634
By the way,
when do they come home?
257
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,536
I don't mind
that they're out late
258
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:35,206
what bothers me is
they don't call.
259
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,708
¶ Yeah what you do to me ¶
260
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,142
¶ Tutti frutti ¶¶
261
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:40,411
[banging on wall]
262
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,214
Oh, no.
263
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,850
How long have the neighbors been
banging on the walls?
264
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:48,052
Well, my guess would be
all night.
265
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:51,422
And frankly, I find it annoying.
266
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,591
ALF, about this roommate
situation, I just don't--
267
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:58,096
I know, I know,
I'm a little out of control
268
00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:01,766
but that's because
I'm young and foolhardy.
269
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:06,671
I've always depended
on the kindness of strangers.
270
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:10,241
Don't hate me
because I'm beautiful.
271
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,777
I don't hate you!
272
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:16,214
But you do have to
learn a little consideration
273
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,082
for other people.
274
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,918
[knocking on door]
275
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,252
(male #1)
'Police officers.'
276
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,354
'Would you open the door,
please?'
277
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,090
And you have the nerve
to lecture me.
278
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:32,597
[instrumental music]
279
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,969
I'm sure I heard something.
280
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,671
Honey, what if it's a burglar?
281
00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:43,007
Don't worry, honey.
I've got the lamp.
282
00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:44,609
[screams]
283
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,914
Oh. Hi, Willie. Hi, Kate.
284
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:53,184
Oh. Neal, what are
you doing here?
285
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,920
I couldn't sleep at my house.
286
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:58,089
- ALF?
- Where?
287
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:03,461
It's okay. It's-it's okay.
You're with friends now.
288
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,097
Willie, I tried.
I tried reasoning.
289
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,699
I asked nicely.
290
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:11,936
How do you handle him?
How do you afford him?
291
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:16,274
Well, Kate's working now
and we're on our third mortgage.
292
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:19,177
We're desperately hoping
that Lynn'll marry well.
293
00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:22,780
Hi, Uncle Neal. Are you okay?
294
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:25,350
He will be.
Just take deep breaths, Neal.
295
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:28,086
That's-that's what
we always did at first.
296
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:30,254
Oh, does this mean
ALF is coming home?
297
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,457
No. No.
Now, don't get you hopes up.
298
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:33,891
Maybe they're not done
bonding yet.
299
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:37,095
Have you tried, Neal?
I mean really, really.
300
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,563
We're done.
301
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:39,897
I mean, don't get me wrong.
302
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:42,066
He's a nice little guy.
303
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:45,069
We've actually had
some nice conversations.
304
00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:47,739
But I want him out of my house!
305
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:52,110
I'm sorry.
306
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:55,146
I haven't slept in four days.
307
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:57,482
Or was it nine?
308
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,484
Neal, calm down.
Just relax.
309
00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:02,653
Can I get you some coffee,
uh, decaf?
310
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,356
- Maybe a glass of warm milk?
- Okay.
311
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:09,727
- With a flex straw?
- I'll see if we have any.
312
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:10,928
[sighs]
313
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,964
Willie, it's awful.
314
00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:15,833
I don't know if he does
these things on purpose or what.
315
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:17,702
Oh.
316
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,670
He does.
317
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,707
We just haven't been
able to prove it.
318
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:27,378
Neal, why don't you
do something about it?
319
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:31,015
I'll be right behind you
when you tell him.
320
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:33,217
Why should I tell him?
321
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,820
Because you know
how I hate confrontation.
322
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,623
Neal, it's time you started
to assert yourself.
323
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:41,125
Stop letting people
walk all over you.
324
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:44,762
You know, sometimes true bonding
comes after great crisis.
325
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:48,833
- Maybe--
- Kate, give it up. It's over.
326
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:50,435
[sighs]
327
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,870
Just when I started to dream
in color again.
328
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,810
[instrumental music]
329
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:14,826
[gasps]
330
00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:17,562
Oh, good Lord, he's dead.
331
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,666
No, he's just full.
332
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:25,503
ALF.
333
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,106
ALF, it's Willie.
334
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:31,442
Willie. Willie Aames?
335
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,011
How's it going, bro?
336
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,415
Charles.
337
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:40,017
Shouldn't you be
watching the girls?
338
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:43,754
He's delirious.
We've gotta get him on his feet.
339
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,189
It won't be pretty.
340
00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:47,859
Say, you don't have a couple of
rain slickers around, do you?
341
00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:51,829
I'm afraid not.
342
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:54,632
Hey, ALF,
you've gotta get up, ALF.
343
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:55,766
Huh? Yeah.
344
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,668
- Listen, can you hear me?
- Yeah, yeah.
345
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:01,839
ALF, Neal has something
that he wants to say to you.
346
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,241
Sure.
347
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,009
N-Neal.
348
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:09,981
ALF, it's, uh, it's about
our living arrangement, ALF.
349
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,383
Ah..
350
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:15,219
[burping]
351
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:16,854
Whew.
352
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:19,090
[burping]
353
00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:23,594
You know, he has eight stomachs.
This-this could take some time.
354
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,096
[sighs]
355
00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:26,998
You were saying?
356
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,602
[sighs]
ALF, I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to ask you to, uh..
357
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:34,238
...to leave, ALF.
358
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,506
Now, don't take this
as a rejection.
359
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,509
I-I just couldn't handle that.
360
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,745
You're throwing me out?
361
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:42,446
Moi?
362
00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:45,650
I'm aghast.
363
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:48,119
You. You're behind all this!
364
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:50,988
You poisoned him against me.
365
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:54,492
I didn't have to do a thing.
366
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:57,595
I'm sorry, ALF.
It's just not working out.
367
00:19:58,631 --> 00:19:59,964
Oh.
368
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:03,901
Well, in that case,
thanks for my wonderful time.
369
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:08,005
[Neal sighs]
Aw, ALF, you don't have to leave
right this second.
370
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,708
Why don't you take your time
and you can..
371
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:15,780
Get out.
372
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:19,617
Okay, okay.
373
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:22,954
Warm up the wagon, Willie.
We're heading home.
374
00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:25,156
I think
that's the right decision.
375
00:20:25,158 --> 00:20:28,492
I'll bring the car around front.
376
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:30,761
I hope you're not mad at me.
377
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:34,765
No. It couldn't have been
an easy thing for you to do.
378
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,102
We can still be friends, right?
379
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:41,806
Sure.
We'll always have Paris.
380
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,977
Well..
381
00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:47,445
...bye, ALF.
382
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:49,914
Aw, come over here, you lug.
383
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,849
Oh.
384
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,284
[burps]
385
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:55,653
Thanks.
You moved the bubble.
386
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:58,789
Catch you around town, bro.
387
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:00,458
[laughs]
388
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,728
[burps]
Oh, yeah, thanks. Wonderful.
389
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:09,000
[instrumental music]
390
00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:13,104
I know you all missed me.
391
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,505
Most of you.
392
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:17,441
But please, no speeches.
393
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,911
Katy.
394
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:22,580
ALF-y.
395
00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:26,317
- Did you miss me?
- Need you even ask?
396
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:28,586
Ah, me too.
397
00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:32,023
Come on, guys, I'm back.
Let's party.
398
00:21:32,025 --> 00:21:35,626
Hey, you, legs.
Get me a brewski.
399
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,094
It's Lynn, ALF, and sorry
400
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:39,330
you're not at
Uncle Neal's anymore.
401
00:21:39,332 --> 00:21:41,732
Oh, yeah. I'm home.
402
00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:46,570
Or as I affectionately
refer to it, the gulag.
403
00:21:46,572 --> 00:21:48,072
Speaking of which
404
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:51,008
I believe you still have
a punishment to work out.
405
00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:54,679
- Oh, you're not still on that.
- Attic. Now.
406
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:57,014
- But, Willie--
- Now!
407
00:21:57,016 --> 00:22:00,718
But I've always depended
on the kindness of strangers.
408
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,621
- Don't hate me because I'm--
- Attic!
409
00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:06,190
Tough house.
410
00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:15,599
[instrumental music]
411
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:43,027
[laughs]
31893
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