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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,836 --> 00:00:03,702 What a mess. 2 00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:06,605 I cannot believe you exploded 3 00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:09,842 a dozen eggs in our microwave. 4 00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:14,413 Don't worry. I'll lick it clean like I always do. 5 00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:20,686 I will thank you to keep your tongue off our appliances. 6 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,822 Fine. Another arbitrary rule. 7 00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:28,927 Kate, I have some very bad news. 8 00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,429 What? What is it? 9 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:33,465 I-I found the cat outside by the fence. 10 00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:36,735 - He's dead. - Lucky? 11 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,071 Oh, no. 12 00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:40,939 So, what's the bad news? 13 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,711 That was the bad news. Thank you for your concern. 14 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,446 Well, honey, what-what happened? 15 00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:50,616 Well, he must have died in his sleep. 16 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:53,719 Apparently, he was a lot older than the vet said he was. 17 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:57,089 I-I wrapped him in a towel and put him in the garage. 18 00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,624 Poor Lucky. 19 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:02,094 Oh, this is gonna be so hard for Brian. 20 00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,797 The Luck Meister is dead. 21 00:01:04,799 --> 00:01:09,234 This is indeed a very dark day for anyone who knew him 22 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,936 or chased him. 23 00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:15,841 Is the Crock-Pot still under the sink? 24 00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:18,844 [theme music] 25 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:51,877 [music continues] 26 00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:19,905 [instrumental music] 27 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:26,478 Please take good care of Lucky, and let him be happy. 28 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,181 Tell him we miss him. Amen. 29 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:34,486 Lynn, that was indeed beautiful. 30 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,588 I'm reminded of a prayer he used to recite 31 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:39,291 every night before bed. 32 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:42,628 "And if I die before I wake 33 00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:45,531 chicken fry me like a steak." 34 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,034 - ALF! - Hey. 35 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,769 They were his words. 36 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,671 [Willie clears throat] 37 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,310 Life is eternal 38 00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:01,680 and, uh, love is immortal 39 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,883 and death is but a horizon. 40 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:16,895 What we return to the Earth, we receive back...tenfold. 41 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:21,833 Tragic. A tragic waste. 42 00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:26,271 Wouldn't you like to say something, Bri? 43 00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:27,873 - No. - Honey.. 44 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:31,577 It might make you feel better if you say goodbye to him. 45 00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:34,179 - Bye. - Whoa. 46 00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:36,615 What a load off. 47 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,917 Brian, uh, it's okay 48 00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,720 if you don't wanna say anything, you don't have to. 49 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,590 There's nothing I wanna say. 50 00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,792 Come on, Bri. Let's go inside. 51 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,162 Funeral poopers! 52 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:56,301 Don't you have any respect for people's feelings? 53 00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,470 Well, excuse me. 54 00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:01,740 But where I'm from, this is ludicrous. 55 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,810 It's like having a funeral for a hamburger. 56 00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:10,015 Why don't you just, uh, go inside with them. 57 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:14,419 Why? I thought I'd help you bury the little patty melt. 58 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,021 Not a chance. 59 00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:19,191 I'm gonna bury him in an undisclosed place. 60 00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:22,728 Well, can I at least put something in there with him? 61 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:26,932 Oh, yeah, sure. Go ahead. Just hurry up. 62 00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:31,270 This was Lucky's favorite toy. 63 00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:35,440 He loved the sound the little metal bell made. 64 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,644 It wasn't exactly the deepest cat in the world. 65 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:41,847 [jingling] 66 00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:50,289 I'm sure that Lucky will treasure this. 67 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:56,795 This would go well with a full-bodied Chianti. 68 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,833 [instrumental music] 69 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,506 (ALF) 'Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.' 70 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,608 Here, kitty, kitty. 71 00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,510 Here, kitty. 72 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,945 Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. 73 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,013 Come on. 74 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,317 I know you're out here. Here, kitty, kitty.. 75 00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,685 [gasps] 76 00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:24,356 What are you doing with that metal detector? 77 00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:26,258 This isn't a weed wacker? 78 00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:29,161 Well, no wonder it's taking so long! 79 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:34,199 Are you looking for this? 80 00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,001 No. Uh.. 81 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,769 I was looking for quarters. 82 00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:40,972 Yeah. Hind quarters. 83 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:46,411 You were looking for Lucky's body, weren't you? 84 00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:48,747 Well...yes. 85 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,383 I thought there should be an autopsy. 86 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:52,818 A what? 87 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,220 There are still a lot of unanswered questions 88 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:56,722 surrounding his death. 89 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:59,624 I've formulated a second-gun theory. 90 00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:03,829 What is your problem? 91 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,732 Willie, I must eat cat. 92 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,667 It burns in my blood! 93 00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:11,536 It's the fire in my loins! 94 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,940 Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly 95 00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:19,010 why then, oh, why can't I? 96 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,647 I don't wanna hear this. 97 00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:26,985 Melmacians who didn't eat cat were considered sissies. 98 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,354 We spat on cat lovers. 99 00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:35,093 Don't spit on my shoe. 100 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,662 I thought a visual aid might help. 101 00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:40,832 (Trevor) 'Hey, Tanner, what's going on out there?' 102 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,701 Hide! Quick! 103 00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:48,206 By the way, that's Trevor's weed wacker. Play dumb. 104 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,878 [instrumental music] 105 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,383 Hurry, Bri. We're gonna be late for church. 106 00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,851 I'm not hungry. 107 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:03,221 Honey, it's a shame to waste good food. 108 00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,424 Why don't you bury it in the backyard? 109 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:07,392 That way you'll have something out there 110 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,394 from all the food groups. 111 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,698 You know, Brian, we all loved Lucky 112 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,567 uh, and we all miss him, but he's gone now 113 00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:18,837 and sometimes the best way to get over the loss of a pet 114 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:22,874 is just go right out and get yourself another one. 115 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,076 Same as losing a wife. 116 00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,148 The want ads here are full of people 117 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:34,286 wh-who are giving away all sorts of pets. 118 00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,887 "Giving away?" 119 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:40,091 Would that include cats, nature's perfect food. 120 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,195 We're not getting a cat. 121 00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:46,064 Uh, if anything, we'll get a dog. 122 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:50,802 A dog? Oh, like I need the competition for table scraps. 123 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,805 I don't want a dog. 124 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,807 Me either. 125 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,443 Not enough gristle. 126 00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:01,179 Breakfast is over. We all need some air. 127 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,648 - Come on, Bri. - See you after church, ALF. 128 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,951 Yeah. Put a good word in for me. 129 00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:08,453 Not that I need it. 130 00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:11,590 Don't do any more treasure hunting. 131 00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,225 How can I? 132 00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:17,629 It's not like Lucky had any silver fillings in his teeth. 133 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:18,797 Did he? 134 00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:20,999 [sighs] Goodbye, ALF. 135 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,135 Free cats. 136 00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:26,905 Wonder if they deliver. 137 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:31,443 No, I can't. Willie'll kill me. 138 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:39,117 Well, maybe if I just eat the feet, nobody'll notice. 139 00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:43,421 [instrumental music] 140 00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:48,560 So, any last meows? 141 00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:51,496 Huh? No. 142 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:54,266 Then I'll see you in a few days. 143 00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,005 You're kind of small, aren't you? 144 00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:02,674 Well, at least you won't claw so much going down. 145 00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,676 [meows] 146 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,578 Don't look at me like that. 147 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:07,646 [meows] 148 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,948 Oh, no. 149 00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:14,519 [groans] What's wrong with me? 150 00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:20,125 Maybe you have an ugly brother or sister in that box. 151 00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:24,462 [meows] 152 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,131 Yeah! 153 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:29,301 Now, you're ugly enough to eat. 154 00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:30,735 [Lynn chuckling] 155 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,437 [indistinct] 156 00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,073 What cats? 157 00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:39,978 Where did you get these? 158 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,847 Um, they came for Lucky's funeral. 159 00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:44,449 They brought casseroles. 160 00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:47,185 What was I gonna do, turn them away? 161 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:52,524 Alright, alright. I called an ad in the paper. 162 00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:55,393 How many did you eat? 163 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:58,229 - None. - I don't believe you, ALF. 164 00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:01,032 Alright, then give me a bucket and a moment to myself 165 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,068 and I'll show you. 166 00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,769 We'll take your word for it. 167 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:09,307 It makes me sick to even think that you would eat a cat. 168 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:13,411 There'll be no eating of cats in this house. Do you hear me? 169 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:16,581 Alright. But that rule has to apply to everybody 170 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,983 for it to mean anything. 171 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,953 (Trevor) 'Hey, Tanner, you guys in?' 172 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,322 Maybe we can get the Ochmoneks to take them. 173 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:27,192 They'd be better off on the freeway. 174 00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:32,864 Well, hi Trevor, Raquel. 175 00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:35,066 Hi, Kate. Hey, Willie? 176 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,502 Raquel and I are going treasure hunting in Malibu. 177 00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:39,037 You guys wanna come? 178 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:42,140 We're gonna hang around outside Larry Hagman's house. 179 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,375 Last week I found a watch. 180 00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:46,011 - Look. - It's lovely. 181 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,480 And I can wear it in the shower. 182 00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,849 Well, as exciting as that sounds, uh 183 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:54,452 we're kind of busy, we've gotta find a home for these kittens 184 00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:57,222 that were suspiciously left on our doorstep. 185 00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:59,557 We'd take one, but Raquel's allergic. 186 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,894 She breaks out in these big red welts that drip. 187 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:05,697 Trevor, please. Some things are private. 188 00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:09,067 Then why did you pose for the cover of that medical journal? 189 00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:12,437 I was young, and I needed the money. 190 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,707 Aren't you gonna lose the sun soon? 191 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:18,209 Good point. See you later. 192 00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:27,152 You know, we should spring for an electric fence. 193 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:32,424 [instrumental music] 194 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:37,395 Ready to go through with this? 195 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,130 Alright. 196 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,199 Bon appetit. 197 00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:46,738 Hey, hey, if you're gonna put up a struggle, who needs you! 198 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,173 Gee! 199 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,744 Oh, I can't do it. 200 00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,246 That settles it. 201 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:58,249 I, Gordon Shumway, am a.. 202 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,986 ...cat lover. 203 00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:04,055 [sighs] 204 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,457 Sorry, ma. 205 00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,693 (Kate) 'They're right in here.' 206 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,998 I am so ashamed, papa. 207 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,101 Why can't we get a purebred Himalayan? 208 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,535 They cost too much, honey. 209 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,839 But how am I supposed to get attached to a cheap cat? 210 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,841 [awkward chuckle] 211 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,342 Sorry about that. 212 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:28,313 I thought sending her to French school meant to France. 213 00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:31,516 I understand. Uh.. Well, here they are. 214 00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:34,419 - Please, uh, pick one. - Oh, these are great. 215 00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:40,191 Oh, I like the grey one. 216 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:41,793 - A grey cat? - Yeah. 217 00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:45,597 You'll have to excuse my father. He works with his hands. 218 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,767 I guess we'll, uh, take the black one here. 219 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,502 Good choice. Very good choice. 220 00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,170 - There you go. - Thanks for the kitten. 221 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,872 Merci, madame. 222 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,240 [chuckles] 223 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,576 Au revoir. 224 00:12:58,578 --> 00:12:59,978 Well, I'm glad to see you're not 225 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,981 giving them away to just anybody. 226 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,450 ALF, what are you doing out here? 227 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:11,289 Oh, Kate, I've discovered a horrible secret about myself. 228 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:14,993 I am a cat lover. 229 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,327 [spits] 230 00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:19,330 Hold me? 231 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:22,433 We know all about your love of cats, ALF. 232 00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:26,171 That's why we just sent one home with Les Miserables. 233 00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:28,807 - No, I'm serious! - Mm-hm. 234 00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:33,278 And what supposedly brought on this sudden change? 235 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,247 Would you believe I've never seen a kitten before? 236 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:39,818 You? You have never seen a kitten? 237 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,452 Never. Well.. 238 00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,721 I've seen bits of them in chowder. 239 00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:49,761 I just had no idea they were so cute whole. 240 00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:53,631 Nice try, bub. Now back away from them slowly. 241 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,801 Oh, Kate, I promise I won't harm a hair 242 00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:59,804 on their fuzzy wittle heads. 243 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:05,310 - Have I ever lied to you? - Yes. Several times. 244 00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:07,178 I meant today. 245 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,751 [instrumental music] 246 00:14:16,122 --> 00:14:18,690 [door opens] 247 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,658 Which one did they take? 248 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,594 Oh, I don't wanna know! 249 00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:23,528 No, tell me. 250 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:26,064 No, no, no, don't tell me! 251 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,199 Tell me. 252 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,101 Stripey one. 253 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:33,037 Not Tuffy! 254 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,006 Oh, I can't stand this, Willie. 255 00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:40,445 Every time you give away another kitten, a part of me dies. 256 00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:42,113 Uh-huh. 257 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:45,183 I tell you, I'm a changed alien. 258 00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:46,718 You know, there's an old saying, ALF 259 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:51,155 the leopard cannot change his spots. 260 00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:52,490 Whoa, that's deep! 261 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:55,059 Back up, man, you lost me. 262 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,428 [telephone rings] 263 00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,965 Hello. Oh, yeah, Lynn. 264 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:04,502 There's one kitten left. The grey one. Heh, the runt. 265 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:07,071 Hey, I'd like to see baby pictures of you. 266 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,539 (Willie) 'Alright.' 267 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,543 Well, Lynn's bringing a friend by. 268 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:15,313 They're gonna pick up the last one. The last cat. 269 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,749 Oh, you can't give away the grey kitten! 270 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,550 He's my favorite. 271 00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,653 Oh, I'll change my spots, Willie! 272 00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:25,556 In fact, I'll endure every bad analogy you throw my way. 273 00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:28,459 I can't trust you, ALF. 274 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,729 These cats are too much of a temptation for you. 275 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,899 - Did I ever try to eat Lucky? - Yes. 276 00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,567 I meant today. 277 00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:37,735 Go. 278 00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:43,675 Well, goodbye, kitty. Have a nice life. 279 00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:45,243 I love that cat. 280 00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:46,978 [spits] 281 00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,447 I gotta get a handle on that. 282 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,516 [instrumental music] 283 00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:53,718 And another thing about having a cat 284 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,088 is a cat won't leave you for a cheerleader named Buffy. 285 00:15:57,090 --> 00:16:00,358 George and I were gonna spend the rest of our lives together. 286 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,960 He said I inspired him. 287 00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:04,729 That since he knew me, he sold more van conversions 288 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,865 than anybody else at the showroom. 289 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:11,369 Joanie, it's been a month. 290 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:14,739 That's three weeks longer than you went with him. 291 00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,708 But it was so right. 292 00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:18,743 Didn't you think it was right, Lynn? 293 00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:21,245 Listen to me, you are in danger 294 00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:24,649 of developing a very bad life pattern. 295 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,887 Hi, dad. Joanie's here to pick up the kitten. 296 00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,956 Oh, good. 297 00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:33,358 How are things, Joanie? 298 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,627 I'm taking your cat. What does that tell you? 299 00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,431 Guess I'll go get it. 300 00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,336 Now I'm stuck with this lousy tattoo 301 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:48,406 and it doesn't mean anything. 302 00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:51,309 I told you not to rush into that. 303 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,511 (Willie) 'Oh, I'll strangle him!' 304 00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,547 What's wrong, dad? 305 00:16:56,549 --> 00:17:00,551 Uh-uh, it-it seems the cat has, uh, wandered off. 306 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,021 It figures. 307 00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:08,693 - 'ALF?' - Stay cool. 308 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:11,062 Remember, I've been here the whole time. 309 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,800 Where is that cat? 310 00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:19,337 Why are you asking me? I've been here the last hour. 311 00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,172 Isn't that right, Eric? 312 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,041 [coos] 313 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,410 See? 314 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,745 I don't have time for this. 315 00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:31,049 A morose teenager has come to take it home. 316 00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:35,820 Do I have to tear the house apart? 317 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:38,956 Don't bother. 318 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,892 You won't find it. 319 00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:42,960 Why not? 320 00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:46,898 Because...I ate it. 321 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:52,970 I can't-I can't believe that you could 322 00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:55,506 possibly disappoint me this much! 323 00:17:56,776 --> 00:18:00,445 No more disappointed than I am in myself, Willie. 324 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:05,383 Your punishment couldn't begin to top what I'm going through. 325 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:08,019 We'll test that theory in one minute. 326 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:14,792 You may be looking at the pinata for your first birthday party. 327 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,128 I'm outta here. 328 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:23,301 I'm sorry, it appears that something has happened 329 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:25,470 to the, uh, kitten. 330 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:26,938 - I see. - Joanie. 331 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,372 This is not at all like what happened 332 00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:30,007 between you and George. 333 00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,876 I wanna believe you. 334 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:34,679 Well.. 335 00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:37,882 At least now I'll have something to talk about at group tonight. 336 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,853 Bye, Mr. Tanner. I'll call you. 337 00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:43,287 (Lynn) Alright. 338 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:47,125 [sighs] She's one taco short of a combination plate. 339 00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,626 What happened to the kitten? 340 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,795 Uh, it seems ALF.. 341 00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:53,865 ...ate it. 342 00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:55,166 Oh, my God! 343 00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,003 That's just too horrible to think about. 344 00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,538 How do you know? 345 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,006 He admitted it. 346 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,176 Wow. 347 00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:06,844 I knew he was capable 348 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:10,448 but I never thought he'd actually go through with it. 349 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:14,185 One thing is certain. He'll never do it again! 350 00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:19,457 [instrumental music] 351 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:22,693 Look, I don't know how much time we have. 352 00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,328 So here's the plan. 353 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,431 How soon do you think you can get on a game show? 354 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,201 We're gonna need some money. 355 00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,671 What, you have a better idea? 356 00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,475 (Willie) 'ALF!' 357 00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:44,749 ALF, there you are. Dad, he's in here. 358 00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:47,652 Is he in a good mood or a bad mood? 359 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:50,121 Don't even talk to me. 360 00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:52,657 Guess it's that time, huh? 361 00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:55,960 Doesn't a condemned man get a last meal? 362 00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:58,262 You just had it! 363 00:19:58,264 --> 00:20:00,464 How about an after-dinner mint? 364 00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:04,702 Dad, what's that? 365 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,705 Ah, pay no attention to the moving box! 366 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:11,008 The great and powerful ALF has spoken. 367 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,911 [chuckling] 368 00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:18,783 Don't take him away from me, Willie. He's mine. 369 00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:21,786 I'll do anything. Please. 370 00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:24,188 ALF, you were telling the truth. 371 00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:26,390 How many times does a guy have to spit on himself 372 00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,526 before you believe him? 373 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:31,262 I knew it. I knew you couldn't eat him. 374 00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:34,832 Then why didn't you say something? Stick up for me? 375 00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,668 What if I was wrong and you ate him? 376 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,605 This is one of those logic puzzles, isn't it? 377 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:43,241 I've never been good at those. 378 00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:44,875 Willie, can I keep him? 379 00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,878 - No. - But why? 380 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,348 Well, I-I don't think it would be a good idea 381 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:53,784 i-i-in light of everything. 382 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,486 But he's my friend. 383 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:58,122 You don't realize how close you can get with someone 384 00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:00,524 until you've had their head in your mouth. 385 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:06,397 You should really have somebody else do your arguing for you. 386 00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:09,667 Dad, he obviously loves the kitten. Don't we owe it to him? 387 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,102 Well, what do we owe him? 388 00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,970 Lynn, he-he brought these kittens 389 00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:15,106 into our house without asking. 390 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,707 He tried to eat them. 391 00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:19,210 He actually sat at the dining room-- 392 00:21:19,212 --> 00:21:21,746 Dad, look at him. 393 00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:27,018 He'll be like the son I never had. 394 00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:29,987 Okay, you can keep him. 395 00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:31,389 Yeah! 396 00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:34,358 Hey, did you hear that, little fella? 397 00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:37,194 Yeah, you get to stay. 398 00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:41,599 You know, Willie, my mom was wrong. 399 00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:43,801 It is fun to play with your food. 400 00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,905 [instrumental music] 401 00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,676 [instrumental music] 402 00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:55,579 Somewhere in this yard 403 00:21:55,581 --> 00:21:58,749 your illustrious predecessor rests. 404 00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:00,785 At least, that's what they told me. 405 00:22:00,787 --> 00:22:02,620 They could be lying. 406 00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:05,022 They're an odd family. 407 00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:07,224 - Hi, ALF. What are you doing? - Hi, B. 408 00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:10,194 I was just showing Flipper where Lucky was buried. 409 00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:13,798 You named him Flipper? That's a stupid name. 410 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,467 Hey, don't criticize. 411 00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:18,769 You haven't seen him underwater. 412 00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:22,473 I wanna name him Lucky II. 413 00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:27,511 Brian, are you trying to tell me that you like this kitten? 414 00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:28,913 No. 415 00:22:28,915 --> 00:22:31,649 Not even just a little? 416 00:22:31,651 --> 00:22:33,851 Well, maybe a little. 417 00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:37,088 Well, maybe a lot. 418 00:22:38,191 --> 00:22:39,023 You know what? 419 00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:40,458 I think you should go inside 420 00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:42,660 and tell that to your folks. 421 00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:45,963 - They like that kind of junk. - Okay. 422 00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:51,168 You even look a little like Lucky. 423 00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:52,703 Same fat cheeks. 424 00:22:54,140 --> 00:22:56,107 Same meaty thighs. 425 00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:00,711 Same delectable aroma. 426 00:23:01,781 --> 00:23:04,515 Maybe I should keep him in my room. 427 00:23:04,517 --> 00:23:07,752 Good idea, B. Why tempt fate? 428 00:23:13,159 --> 00:23:16,160 [theme music] 429 00:23:35,448 --> 00:23:38,449 [music continues] 430 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,120 [ALF laughs] 33341

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