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1
00:00:01,836 --> 00:00:03,002
[cutlery clanking]
2
00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:08,674
Once again, Kate,
excellent meat loaf.
3
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:11,710
Once again, Kate, meat loaf.
4
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:15,681
Uh, for your information,
that was Salisbury steak.
5
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:19,018
Great. Meat loaf
with an attitude.
6
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,953
(Jake)
'Knock, knock!'
7
00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:23,689
Door's open, Jake.
8
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,824
- Oh, hi, guys.
- Hey, Jake!
9
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:29,495
You're just in time
for brandy and cigars.
10
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:32,064
No brandy, no cigars.
11
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:33,966
Philistine.
12
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:35,434
But I can't stay anyway.
13
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:38,537
Aunt Raquel wants to know
if you got any fresh fennel.
14
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,807
Uncle Trevor hates the dry kind.
15
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:45,377
I'm afraid we're fresh out
of f-fresh fennel.
16
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,513
Well, I tried.
Thanks anyway. Bye.
17
00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:50,015
- Hey, where you off to?
- Home.
18
00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:53,018
Well, we haven't seen you around
here for quite a while.
19
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:55,287
Yeah, well, uh,
someone's been stayin'
20
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,456
in our house
for a couple of days.
21
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,591
Willingly?
22
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,060
ALF.
23
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:02,394
A relative?
24
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,663
Hm, sort of, uh..
25
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:07,232
- She's my mother.
- Mm.
26
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,201
You have a mother?
27
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,403
I'm a mammal, aren't I?
28
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,971
What ALF is trying to say
is that
29
00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:14,807
you've never mentioned
your mother before.
30
00:01:14,809 --> 00:01:17,576
Yeah, we figured she was dead.
31
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,745
What Brian
is trying to say is that
32
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,346
since you live
with your aunt and uncle
33
00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:24,049
we thought your mother
might perhaps be
34
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,285
well, you know..
35
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:27,586
Dead!
36
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:31,857
[theme music]
37
00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:02,888
[music continues]
38
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,085
[instrumental music]
39
00:02:33,888 --> 00:02:35,420
Look, there must be some reason
40
00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:38,023
Jake never told me
about his mother.
41
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:41,593
We're best friends,
blood brothers
42
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:45,197
two sides of the same
Double Stuf Oreo.
43
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:48,700
I think in some cultures
we'd be considered engaged.
44
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,471
Perhaps with you around,
he found it difficult
45
00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:55,407
to get a word in edgewise.
46
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,809
Hardy-har.
47
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,646
For your information,
Jake tells me everything.
48
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,881
About how his father's in jail
49
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,717
about how he flunked
his last math test
50
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,453
about how Trevor and Raquel
like to sometimes dress up
51
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,022
like Norwegian..
52
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:13,725
Never mind.
53
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:14,793
[doorbell ringing]
54
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,962
(Raquel)
'Yoo-hoo! It's Raquel!'
55
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,565
Yoo-hoo.
Tell her we're not home.
56
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:20,966
Bye, ALF.
57
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:24,703
Let her in.
I'll pretend I'm a fuzzy lamp.
58
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,272
You can pretend that
in the kitchen.
59
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:29,808
Fine. Which way is the kitchen?
60
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:34,580
Hey, what do you want
from a lamp?
61
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:41,653
Oh, hi, Raquel.
62
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,422
- Willie, Kate.
- Hello, Raquel.
63
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:44,790
I'd like you to meet
my sister-in-law
64
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:47,326
Elaine Ochmonek.
She's Jake's mother.
65
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:50,495
Elaine, this is Willie Tanner
and his wife Kate.
66
00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:53,131
- She's pregnant.
- I see that.
67
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,033
- Gee, it's nice to meet you.
- Nice to finally meet you.
68
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:57,703
Please, come in, come in.
We are so fond of Jake.
69
00:03:57,705 --> 00:04:00,305
Oh, well,
he talks about his-his friends
70
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:02,107
the Tanners, all the time.
71
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,743
Although, sometimes
he does stop rather abruptly
72
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,578
in the middle of a sentence.
73
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,181
Well, don't we all just..
74
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,686
Don't we all just do that
now and again?
75
00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:17,289
No.
76
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:23,028
Uh, I really appreciate
everything you've done for Jake.
77
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,596
It's been hard on him,
being away
78
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,064
from all his friends
in New York.
79
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:28,166
Oh, he's become
like one of the family.
80
00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:31,103
Maybe we can all get together
sometime while you're visiting.
81
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:33,005
What a lovely idea.
82
00:04:33,007 --> 00:04:36,041
Say, here for dinner,
tomorrow 7:30?
83
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,943
- Uh, well--
- 'Please..'
84
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,245
Uh-uh-uh,
don't go to any trouble.
85
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:42,347
- Oh, pish. Kate doesn't mind.
- You know..
86
00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:44,516
Do you, Kate?
87
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,118
Pish?
88
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,787
Good. Besides,
they owe us a dinner.
89
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,622
Not that
I'm the kind of a person
90
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,724
who would bring that up.
91
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:55,761
7:30 tomorrow will be fine.
92
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,297
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice meeting you.
93
00:04:58,299 --> 00:04:59,898
Buh-bye. Bye.
94
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,166
Toodles!
95
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,103
[door shuts]
96
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,010
- Fuzzy lamp.
- Fuzzy lamp.
97
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:16,915
[instrumental music]
98
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,688
[sighs]
Here's the rest
of the zucchini, Trevor.
99
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,923
Oh, thanks, Kate.
100
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,125
Why did you say
Kate was a bad cook?
101
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,595
Don't talk
with your mouth full, Trevor.
102
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:33,365
In fact, don't talk at all.
103
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:36,201
Everything is just delicious.
104
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:37,336
Thank you.
105
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,438
Well, I'm full. Shall we go?
106
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,775
Jake, where are your manners?
We just sat down.
107
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:47,612
Don't you want dessert?
Mom defrosted Sara Lee.
108
00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,314
[scoffs]
Swell.
109
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:52,818
I brought your supper, ALF.
110
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,420
I had to sneak it past
the Ochmoneks.
111
00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:57,556
Thank the warden for me.
112
00:05:57,558 --> 00:06:00,525
Come on, at least mom and dad
agreed you could stay up here
113
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,194
instead of the garage.
114
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:06,331
That's only because
the dungeon isn't finished yet.
115
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,600
Stop complaining.
116
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,235
How's it going down there?
117
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:13,839
Fine.
Jake's mother seems very nice.
118
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,975
- How's Jake?
- He's still acting weird.
119
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:20,879
Weird? How weird?
A little weird? Medium weird?
120
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:23,849
Big weird? Or Ochmonek weird?
121
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,486
Uncomfortable weird.
122
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:30,322
I knew it. She's an impostor.
123
00:06:30,324 --> 00:06:32,057
- Who?
- Jake's mother.
124
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,859
She's really not his mother.
125
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,661
She's his father!
126
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:39,064
I feel another theory coming on.
127
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,566
See, Jake's father
isn't really in jail.
128
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,535
He's masquerading as his mother
129
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:46,605
to avoid doing hard time
on the rock.
130
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:50,842
Now, that sounds like it
couldn't possibly not be true.
131
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:53,044
Look, if Jake really
has a mother
132
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:55,981
why is he living
with his aunt and uncle?
133
00:06:55,983 --> 00:07:00,285
Tsk. I don't know, but I'm sure
there's a logical explanation.
134
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:01,920
Well, I'm not.
135
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,890
To quote
a famous deli owner on Melmac
136
00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:07,726
"Something is awry."
137
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:10,862
Enjoy your dinner, ALF.
138
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,030
If I find out anything more
139
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,166
about Jake's mother,
I'll let you know.
140
00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:18,403
Don't be afraid
to ask questions. Probe.
141
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,839
Go through his purse!
142
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:26,111
Chicken.
143
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,114
I'm sorry. I was detained.
144
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,348
- Everything alright?
- Fine.
145
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,784
- No problem in the attic?
- None.
146
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,022
You got problems
with your attic?
147
00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:41,393
Yes. N-no..
I mean, I was, but now I'm not.
148
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:45,730
Could you pass the potatoes,
please?
149
00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:47,332
I had pigeons in my attic once.
150
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,034
- What a mess!
- Trevor, please.
151
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,702
The place looked
like it was stuccoed.
152
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,070
- Trevor, we're eating.
- I mean--
153
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:55,240
What? It's not like
I'm makin' it up.
154
00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:00,445
So, Elaine, how long will you
be staying in California?
155
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:02,514
- Mm, not long.
- 'Well..'
156
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,816
Right, mom?
157
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,451
I'm leavin' on Wednesday.
158
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:09,788
Oh, what a shame
you can't stay longer.
159
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:12,090
- Well, I--
- She can't. She-she'd love to.
160
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:14,125
But she can't,
she's gotta go back
161
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,795
to New York. She lives there.
162
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,363
- 'Jake.'
- What?
163
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:21,533
I'm sure your mother
can speak for herself.
164
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:22,834
I know,
it's just that it's rude
165
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,069
to speak
with a mouthful of food.
166
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,537
And my mouth was empty
at the time.
167
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:28,240
- So I thought that maybe--
- Cork it, eh, Jake?
168
00:08:28,242 --> 00:08:30,809
Kate, you got anymore
of that chicken in there?
169
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,778
I'll check.
170
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,248
If not, I'll take a burger.
171
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,552
Uh, excuse me,
can I use your powder room?
172
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:43,154
- Oh, certainly.
- 'Use the one off the bedroom.'
173
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:45,490
The other sink is stopped up.
174
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:50,795
Uh, it's just at the end
of the hall.
175
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:52,330
- On the left.
- Oh, thank you.
176
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,699
Uh, l-let me show you
where it is.
177
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,402
I'm sure I can find it myself.
178
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:58,837
Excuse me.
179
00:09:00,474 --> 00:09:01,540
[Jake sighs]
180
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:04,910
What?
181
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,950
Uh-oh, nature's calling
182
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,486
and the phones are all
downstairs.
183
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,523
Okay, ALF, just concentrate.
184
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:23,395
Mind over bladder.
Mind over bladder.
185
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,999
Bladder over mind.
186
00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:33,305
[comical music]
187
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:52,657
[music continues]
188
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,504
[door shuts]
189
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:12,510
No wonder Jake didn't wanna
talk about his mother.
190
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:14,179
She's a crook.
191
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,485
[instrumental music]
192
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,656
Great dessert, Kate.
193
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:26,124
Thank you for a lovely dinner.
194
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,627
Well, you're very welcome.
195
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,495
Let's go.
196
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,430
Wait a second, Jake.
197
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:35,233
Simple items
were simply delicious, Kate.
198
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,569
You shouldn't feel bad
about the chicken.
199
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,605
Thank you.
200
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,107
Let's go, come on!
201
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,508
What's your hurry?
202
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:46,044
- I got homework.
- Homework?
203
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,113
Since when have you been
an overachiever?
204
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:51,182
Cool your jets,
we're coming, alright?
205
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,685
Well, I guess
we should be going.
206
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,854
- Bye, Kate.
- Buh-bye.
207
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:56,888
- Bye.
- Bye-Bye.
208
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,324
Hm.
209
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,393
What in the world
is wrong with Jake?
210
00:11:01,395 --> 00:11:03,528
I'm glad you've asked
that question.
211
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:06,264
ALF, what are you doing
downstairs?
212
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:09,134
Uh, Willie,
you're probably wondering
213
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,302
why I've gathered you all here.
214
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:13,571
That's it, from now on
when we have guests
215
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:15,874
you will stay in the garage.
216
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,275
A-ha!
217
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,077
But if I was in the garage
218
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:22,514
I wouldn't have found out
what I found out.
219
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,583
What did you find out?
220
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,152
I'll give you a hint.
221
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:31,056
It's what I did to your hearts
the day I came here.
222
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:34,092
Um, break.
223
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,828
I said hearts, not house.
224
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:39,364
Oh, stop trying to change
the subject, ALF.
225
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,933
You know that you were supposed
to stay in the attic.
226
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:44,636
I'm not trying
to change the subject.
227
00:11:44,638 --> 00:11:48,173
Okay, I am.
But this is really, really good!
228
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:49,641
You wanna hear it?
229
00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:51,176
No.
230
00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:54,312
But it'll clear up
two mysteries at once.
231
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:57,415
A, why is Jake acting so weird?
232
00:11:57,417 --> 00:12:01,886
And B, where is
Kate's big, red pin?
233
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,221
You mean my garnet brooch?
234
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,656
The one that belonged
to my grandmother?
235
00:12:04,658 --> 00:12:08,159
The one that looked like
a bunch of lumpy grapes.
236
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,428
It's in my jewelry box.
237
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,464
[imitates buzzer]
Wrong!
238
00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:15,333
It used to be
in your jewelry box.
239
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,870
Now it's in
Jake's mother's pocket.
240
00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:23,708
Oh, ALF! Why would you say
something like that?
241
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,443
Because it's true.
242
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:28,313
I happened to be strolling
past your boudoir door
243
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:31,783
while she was doing
the old five-finger fandango
244
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:34,486
in your jewelry box.
245
00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:36,921
I'll go check.
246
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,890
You're not kidding, are you?
247
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:42,794
Trust me, the woman's a felon!
248
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:45,396
You better be right about this,
you know, it's very dangerous
249
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:49,234
to wrongfully accuse people
of misdeeds.
250
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:53,271
Misdeeds? What are you,
writing commandments now?
251
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,776
Do you think
Jake knows about this?
252
00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,177
Sure!
253
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,779
Why else do you think
he's been acting like
254
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:04,349
Norman Bates on Mother's Day?
255
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:07,285
Is Jake's mom a crook, dad?
256
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,355
Oh, I don't think so, B.
257
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:14,058
After all, she's only
an Ochmonek by marriage.
258
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:17,228
ALF's right. My brooch is gone.
259
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,798
You doubted my veracity?
260
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,733
That pains me.
261
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:24,302
Willie, what are we gonna do?
262
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,971
That brooch has been
in my family for so long.
263
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,141
Well, the situation
has to be handled delicately.
264
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,643
I'll speak to Trevor.
265
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,645
What am I saying?
266
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:36,748
Hey, hey, let me
straighten it out with Jake.
267
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:39,184
I can handle it.
268
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:42,120
Well, alright, ALF,
you can speak to Jake.
269
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:43,755
But remember, be tactful.
270
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:46,457
Explain to him that we don't
wanna cause him any problems.
271
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:49,661
We just want that brooch back.
272
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,229
Don't worry.
273
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:54,032
I know just how to handle this.
274
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,901
Where do we keep the hot light
and the bull horn?
275
00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:01,306
[instrumental music]
276
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:07,312
[footsteps approaching]
277
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,414
Uh, Brian said
you wanted to talk to me?
278
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:12,050
Oh, yeah, I did. I do.
279
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,719
I did and I do. Both.
280
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,489
So talk.
281
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,193
You start.
282
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,596
I don't have anything
to talk about.
283
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,665
Nothing you wanna say to me?
284
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:30,735
No, you're the one who wanted
to talk to me, remember?
285
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:33,304
Ah, yes, yes.
286
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:38,142
[sighs]
287
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:40,578
- Well?
- Well..
288
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:43,314
What I have to talk about
is difficult.
289
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:48,219
I don't know how to broach
the subject.
290
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:51,489
You can trust me.
291
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:54,859
I know.
And I appreciate that, Jake.
292
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:59,264
I'm glad you could steal
some time to talk with me.
293
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,900
My pleasure.
294
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:04,035
I mean, I don't wanna rob you
295
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:06,871
of any time with your mother.
296
00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,706
What are you trying to say, ALF?
297
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,008
Nothing.
298
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:12,277
If I had something to say
about your mother
299
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:13,912
I'd say it.
300
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,215
What about my mother?
301
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:19,317
Well, she seems very nice.
302
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:20,919
I mean, we haven't met
or anything
303
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:24,722
but she certainly doesn't look
like a thief.
304
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,925
She's not a thief.
305
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:30,695
Okay, she's a sleepwalker
who's into accessories.
306
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,732
She's neither of those either.
307
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:39,804
Well, I saw her take a brooch
from Kate's jewelry box.
308
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:44,575
[sighs]
I was afraid of that.
309
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:47,478
So you do know something
about this.
310
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,514
Yeah.
311
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:55,119
[chuckles]
See, my mom's a kleptomaniac.
312
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,721
Uh-huh?
313
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,591
A what?
314
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:04,329
She doesn't mean to take things
that don't belong to her.
315
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:07,765
The doctor says
she just can't help herself.
316
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:10,868
I think the problem is
she does help herself.
317
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:15,473
It-it's a sickness
of the mind, kinda.
318
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:19,344
I thought she was coming out
here to tell me she was better.
319
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,612
Well, it's a small brooch.
320
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:24,382
Maybe she's trying to cut down.
321
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:27,452
Look, I'll get it back,
don't worry.
322
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:30,521
What are you gonna say to her?
323
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,957
I don't know, I-I-I guess
I'll wait till she's asleep
324
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:35,526
and lift it off her.
325
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,229
Who are you people, the Capones?
326
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,465
You've gotta talk to her
about this.
327
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:41,966
It won't do any good, besides
328
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:44,302
she's going back to New York
tomorrow.
329
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,871
Oh, good,
she'll take Manhattan, the Bronx
330
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:49,173
and Staten Island, too.
331
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:53,244
Look, ALF, I've had this fight
with my mother a million times.
332
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:56,014
[scoffs]
I give up on her.
333
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:58,983
Well, how could you give up
on your own mother?
334
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:02,687
I mean, it's not like
she's the Cubs.
335
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:05,857
Look, I said I'd get
your stupid pin, didn't I?
336
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,525
Now why don't you just
leave me alone?
337
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,598
Well, if you're gonna be
that way about it
338
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,867
I suggest you leave.
339
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:20,872
[instrumental music]
340
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:26,878
[knocking on door]
341
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,247
- Uh, hi, mom.
- Hi, honey.
342
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,648
Come on in.
343
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:36,020
- Uh, nice suitcase.
- Thanks.
344
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:40,124
- Those aren't your initials.
- I won it.
345
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,762
You know, um
346
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:47,265
there's something
I'd like to talk to you about.
347
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:50,501
Hm, me, too.
But, uh, you go first.
348
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,337
Well, since school's
349
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:55,673
almost out for the summer anyway
350
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:59,143
I thought you'd might wanna
come home with me now.
351
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:02,346
Oh, I thought maybe
you wanted to talk about dinner
352
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:04,449
at the Tanners last night.
353
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:09,554
What do you mean?
I had a very nice time.
354
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,823
About what happened there.
355
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,358
We ate roast chicken.
356
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:16,194
After that.
357
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,696
- We had coffee.
- Before that.
358
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,132
Look, as much as I'm enjoying
this trip down memory lane
359
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:23,701
would you like to tell me
what you're getting at?
360
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:26,370
Look, I know you took a pin
361
00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:29,173
out of Mrs. Tanner's jewelry box
last night.
362
00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:30,775
That's impossible!
363
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,243
Impossible
you could have taken it
364
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,112
or impossible
I could know about it?
365
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:37,148
I didn't. And even if I did,
everybody was at dinner.
366
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,984
- Nobody could have possibly--
- Nothing's changed, has it, ma?
367
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:42,153
Yeah, something's changed,
you got a mouth.
368
00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:45,656
[scoffs]
How could you? How could you
steal from the Tanners?
369
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,391
They're my friends, ma.
370
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,393
I was gonna give it back.
371
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,395
Actually, it's pretty tacky.
372
00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:54,665
[scoffs]
I-I can't believe you!
373
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,434
You come out here
hopin' I'll go back with you
374
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:59,604
and then you pull somethin'
like this!
375
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:03,207
Honey, you know
I never planned to do this.
376
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:07,011
It just happens.
377
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:19,757
The problem is
that it's still happenin'.
378
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,193
[scoffs]
Are-are you seein' your shrink?
379
00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:26,364
[sighs]
I give up.
380
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:27,431
If you won't help yourself
381
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:29,200
there's nothin' I can do.
382
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:31,636
Yes, there is.
383
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:33,437
You could come home with me.
384
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:35,439
We made a deal, remember?
385
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:37,241
I would come home
when you were better.
386
00:19:37,243 --> 00:19:39,644
I am better.
387
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,913
Well, I'm-I'm almost better.
388
00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:45,716
A-and it would be a lot easier
if you were there with me.
389
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:49,921
We tried that before.
I'm not what you need right now.
390
00:19:49,923 --> 00:19:52,657
- Jake, you--
- I want things to work out!
391
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:55,193
But you have to want it, too.
392
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,928
I do.
393
00:19:56,930 --> 00:20:00,097
Then how about goin' next door
and givin' this pin back
394
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:01,766
to Mrs. Tanner?
395
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:03,901
I can't.
396
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:10,074
I'm-I'm-I'm sorry, Jake.
I'd like to.
397
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:12,977
I just..
398
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,280
I just can't.
399
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,184
Not yet.
400
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,428
Yo, Jake.
401
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:33,097
ALF, how long
have you been out there?
402
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:35,166
Long enough.
403
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:38,636
But for what it's worth,
I think you did the right thing.
404
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:42,073
Yeah. So how come
I feel so crummy?
405
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:45,176
You ate Kate's cooking
last night, remember?
406
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:50,548
Anyway, I'm glad you're not
going back to New York.
407
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:53,384
I, uh, kinda wish I was.
408
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:57,788
Well, that was really nice
what you said to your mom.
409
00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,290
You know,
there's nothing like the love
410
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:01,826
between a mother and child.
411
00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:05,029
Except, maybe the love
between two florists.
412
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,367
Give this back to Mrs. Tanner,
would you?
413
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:13,137
And, uh, tell her
I'm, we're sorry.
414
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:17,174
So what happens
to your mother now?
415
00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:20,511
I guess she'll go back
to her doctor.
416
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,213
Well, I hope he's an eye doctor.
417
00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:26,150
This is the ugliest pin
I've ever seen!
418
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:30,154
Looks like a blood clot.
Ha. Blood clot!
419
00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:32,156
Ha. Oh, I kill me.
420
00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:34,825
[laughing]
421
00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:36,861
[instrumental music]
422
00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:40,998
[instrumental music]
423
00:21:42,769 --> 00:21:44,001
I still don't get it.
424
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:46,270
How come Jake's mother
takes stuff
425
00:21:46,272 --> 00:21:48,939
but she's not a crook?
426
00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:52,176
Well, Jake's mother suffers
from a psychological disorder
427
00:21:52,178 --> 00:21:55,079
that motivates her
to steal impulsively
428
00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:59,317
without being prompted
by any apparent need or desire.
429
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:03,554
Thanks for clearing
that up, dad.
430
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:05,256
How's Jake taking all of this?
431
00:22:05,258 --> 00:22:07,658
The poor boy's
been through an awful lot.
432
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,093
Well, he's doing much better.
433
00:22:09,095 --> 00:22:12,096
His mom went back
to New York early this morning.
434
00:22:12,098 --> 00:22:14,799
Did they resolve anything
before she left?
435
00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:16,500
Only that he won't go back
to live with her
436
00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:17,868
until she gets help.
437
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:19,570
Oh, that's too bad.
438
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:23,207
Well, maybe that's exactly
the motivation that she needed.
439
00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:25,142
Maybe. Maybe not.
440
00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:28,079
She took Trevor's
coin collection with her.
441
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:32,183
[instrumental music]
442
00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:36,220
[theme music]
443
00:22:55,508 --> 00:22:58,709
[music continues]
444
00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:03,280
[ALF laughing]
445
00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:07,218
[instrumental music]
34933
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