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1
00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:06,438
Okay, how about
Cameron if it's a boy
2
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:09,808
and Amanda
if it's a girl?
3
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:12,511
You know, I was thinking
if it was a girl
4
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,813
maybe we could
name it after my mother.
5
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:17,282
You want to name her
the Witch of Endor?
6
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:19,151
[sighs]
7
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,986
What about naming her Whitney?
8
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:23,222
Or maybe Sheila E.?
9
00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,257
I've got the perfect name
10
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:27,559
Rin Tin Tanner.
11
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:32,031
You want to name
my child after a dog?
12
00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:35,067
A noble dog.
13
00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:36,535
A brave dog.
14
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,605
A dog who saved lives.
15
00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:41,974
And if it's a girl,
we'll call her Spuds.
16
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:46,545
[theme music]
17
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,811
[music continues]
18
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:47,606
[music continues]
19
00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:58,951
Hi.. ALF!
20
00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:01,320
What have I told you
about being inside the house
21
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,855
when there are people here.
22
00:02:02,857 --> 00:02:05,657
More than I really
care to know.
23
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:06,959
Well, go on
out to the garage
24
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:08,527
and don't come back
until the workmen
25
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,095
'have left for the day.'
26
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:12,030
They've been here for weeks.
27
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:15,767
How long does it take to build
a stupid baby nursery anyway?
28
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,938
Twice as long as they
tell you it's gonna take.
29
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:22,875
Why don't you come out with me?
30
00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:25,811
We can play pin the tailpipe
back on the car.
31
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,581
It's not as bad as it sounds.
32
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,518
I'm sorry,
I can't right now, ALF.
33
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:33,819
Kate and I are gonna have
34
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,988
our first Lamaze class
this afternoon.
35
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:39,158
What's a Lamaze class?
36
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,794
It's where expectant parents
rehearse for the baby's birth.
37
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:45,631
Today we're gonna
practice breathing.
38
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,466
Well, I could teach you that.
39
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,201
One, inhale.
40
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,536
[inhales deeply]
41
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,271
Two, exhale.
42
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:53,739
[exhales sharply]
43
00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,407
There, you graduated.
44
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,910
Now you don't have to go.
45
00:02:57,912 --> 00:02:59,611
Sorry, ALF,
Kate and I are breathing
46
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:02,047
together this afternoon.
47
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,582
Admit it, wilderness
48
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:06,451
this baby's become
an obsession with you.
49
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:08,220
Well, of course
it's an obsession.
50
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,155
It's the miracle of life.
51
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:12,257
It's-it's the marvel of creation
52
00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:14,326
the mystery of being.
53
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,994
Congratulations.
54
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,597
You're giving birth
to an episode of "Nova."
55
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,668
[instrumental music]
56
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:28,340
And then, the doctor put the
ultrasound machine on my stomach
57
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:29,775
and we could see
the baby's head
58
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,577
and we could see
the baby's legs.
59
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,579
We even saw
its heart beating.
60
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:34,846
Please, Kate!
61
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:36,915
Some of us are eating here.
62
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:39,985
Since when have
you been squeamish?
63
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:43,255
Since Kate started
talking about that parasite
64
00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,991
that's growing
and changing inside of her.
65
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:50,495
Speaking of parasites,
ALF, are you ready
66
00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:53,165
for your fifth
helping of meat loaf?
67
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:54,933
Don't mind if I do.
68
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:57,536
When the baby gets here
69
00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:59,538
are we gonna be able
to tell it about ALF?
70
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,306
We'll have to eventually.
71
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,575
You know, the funny thing
about this baby is that
72
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,377
it's going to be
growing up with ALF.
73
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,679
I mean, you know,
to the baby
74
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,581
he won't be weird or anything.
75
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,017
He'll just be...normal.
76
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,186
Don't mind me.
77
00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:16,888
I love being discussed
in the third person.
78
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,491
Sorry, ALF.
79
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:22,227
Just don't let it happen again.
80
00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:23,795
[doorbell rings]
81
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:26,031
I'll get it. Hide him.
82
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:35,774
Oh, hi, Raquel. Hey, Laverne.
83
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,442
Uh, we're sorry
to disturb your dinner.
84
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,710
Oh, we're used to..
85
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,879
I mean, come on in.
86
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,781
Oh, and how's
the little mommy-to-be?
87
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,117
[chuckles]
Not so little.
88
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:48,186
She blocks the whole TV
when she walks in front of it.
89
00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:50,489
Well, you know the old adage
90
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,291
"Pregnancy is nature's
little way of saying
91
00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:54,359
wear a tent."
92
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:55,694
I've heard that.
93
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:56,795
We'll only take a moment.
94
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,097
It's about the Litwak's house.
95
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:02,701
Isn't it, Laverne?
96
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:05,037
What? Oh, right.
Yes, our house. Yes.
97
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:09,741
Wh-what about
your house, Laverne?
98
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,644
Well, we might want to sell it,
someday, you know.
99
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,179
So, I was wondering, well, Kate
100
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:17,282
since you're in the actual
field of real estate
101
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:19,518
what, um, you thought..
102
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,986
...about that.
103
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:23,655
About what?
104
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,124
- Laverne.
- Hmm.
105
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:29,394
Kate could probably
get a much better idea
106
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:31,930
of what your house is worth
if you take her outside
107
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:36,034
and go over there
for at least five minutes.
108
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,237
That would help a lot.
109
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,773
Now?
110
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:44,910
If you wouldn't mind.
111
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:48,447
You know, just in case
we decide to sell it someday.
112
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,615
Well, al-alright, Laverne.
113
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,418
If it's..
If it's that important.
114
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:54,519
Take your time now.
115
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,887
Ladies, you know
the old adage
116
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:58,290
"Appraise in haste,
repent at leisure."
117
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,895
That one I hadn't heard.
118
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,898
I thought they'd never leave.
119
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,667
Well, whatever's up, Raquel?
120
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,969
[chuckles]
Laverne and I want to throw
121
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,871
a surprise baby shower for Kate.
122
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:13,972
- That's very..
- Here.
123
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,440
- ...nice..
- Saturday.
124
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:16,742
...of you.
125
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,612
We've asked, uh,
Kate's college friends
126
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:22,314
and all the women
in the neighborhood
127
00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:23,882
except for Hazel Hurlbut.
128
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,050
She and I have not spoken
129
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,352
since that ugly
leaf-raking incident.
130
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,223
A baby shower sounds like fun.
131
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,257
I could help.
132
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,592
That was the plan.
133
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:34,893
Now, we will bring everything
134
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,762
but the refreshments,
the decorations
135
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,830
the party favors,
and the folding chairs.
136
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,265
Sounds fair.
137
00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:43,135
Well, it's the least
Auntie Raquel can do.
138
00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:45,370
Well, I'll you
get back to your dinner.
139
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:47,339
Meat loaf again, huh?
140
00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:48,940
We liked it.
141
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,409
Well, to each his own.
142
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:51,710
Toodles.
143
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,547
What's a surprise baby shower?
144
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,649
It's a big pain in the..
145
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,951
So, when's my shower?
146
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,421
How did you know?
147
00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:04,656
Laverne cracked.
148
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,491
Well, at least
pretend to be surprised
149
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:09,294
so you don't hurt
Auntie Raquel's feelings.
150
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:11,997
If it's more convenient
151
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,532
I could stay out here.
152
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:16,768
And you could just pitch the
rest of my dinner into my mouth.
153
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,372
Just come back
to the table, ALF.
154
00:07:20,374 --> 00:07:21,606
No thanks.
155
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,342
I've heard enough
about the stepford baby.
156
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:30,215
[instrumental music]
157
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,494
- Laverne.
- Hmm.
158
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,663
You're supposed
to twist streamers
159
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:45,831
when you hang them.
160
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:48,366
Oh, is that written somewhere?
161
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:51,369
Well, it doesn't
have to be written somewhere.
162
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,737
If everybody knows something
163
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,840
there's no need to write it.
164
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:56,741
Hazel Hurlbut was right.
165
00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:58,810
- What?
- Nothing. Nothing.
166
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,146
[doorbell rings]
167
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,347
Excuse me.
168
00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:06,351
- Lynn, hi.
- Hi. Come on in.
169
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:07,886
What a thoughtful present.
170
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,721
We can practice
on this one.
171
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,256
I hope you don't mind.
172
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:14,593
The sitter came down with a
serious case of concert tickets.
173
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,127
(Lynn)
'Are you kidding?'
174
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,363
Listen, mom will
be here any minute.
175
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,699
He is so cute.
176
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,735
Oh, Andrea,
you brought the baby.
177
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,837
I suppose that's nice.
178
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:34,145
So, this is where they're
gonna stash the bad seed.
179
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,349
I may throw up.
180
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:41,086
Which could only help
this wallpaper.
181
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:44,990
[rattles]
182
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,593
[chanting]
183
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:54,099
(women)
'Surprise!'
184
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,935
Oh, great. The incredible
expanding woman is home.
185
00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,672
Oh, what,
what a wonderful surprise.
186
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:03,174
Oh, thank you, Raquel, Laverne.
187
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,210
How did you know
it was our idea?
188
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,880
Who else..
189
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,049
...could be so thoughtful?
190
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,953
Oh, Andrea,
you brought little Elliot.
191
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:17,756
Yeah. I'm afraid
it's past his nap time, though.
192
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:20,825
If, if there's somewhere
I could just go lay him down.
193
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,794
We can christen the nursery.
194
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,162
Come on,
I'll show you where it is.
195
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,196
Great.
196
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:26,965
Oh, hi.
197
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,433
Kate, were you really surprised?
198
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:32,137
Oh, yes. I was shocked.
Really. I had no idea.
199
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,173
You told her, didn't you?
200
00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:39,177
[instrumental lullaby music]
201
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,512
Oh, man.
202
00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:41,980
Heavy trip.
203
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,383
(Lynn)
'It's right in here, Andrea.'
204
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:55,860
- Oh, what a cute room.
- Thanks.
205
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,096
Come on, sweetie.
206
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,333
There we go.
207
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:05,537
Does he need anything?
208
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:08,239
Um, $35,000 for college.
209
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:09,507
[chuckles]
210
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:11,009
He'll be fine.
211
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:26,024
So you're a rug rat.
212
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:29,427
Not very user-friendly,
are you?
213
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:32,897
'Yeah.'
214
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:37,168
We're getting one of you
bundles of joy pretty soon.
215
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,704
Yeah. Yeah.
216
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:43,008
People will be making
a big fuss over it.
217
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,010
Lynn will be saying things like
218
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,579
"Uchie cuchie, little mimi."
219
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,181
[sneezes]
220
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,519
Kate will be
bring it baby formula.
221
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,588
Whatever that is.
222
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:58,690
Brian will be reading to it.
223
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:01,226
[sneezing]
224
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:03,595
'Willie will be changing
it's diapers'
225
00:11:03,597 --> 00:11:05,664
'taking it to the movies.'
226
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:06,698
And I'll be..
227
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,600
[sneezing]
228
00:11:08,602 --> 00:11:12,203
Oh, I'll be sneezing
my snout straight.
229
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,639
I think I'm allergic
to this thing.
230
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:17,208
[sneezing]
231
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,213
[ALF sneezing]
232
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:26,484
[sneezing continues]
233
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,187
I'll check on that.
234
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,523
It was probably the cat.
235
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:32,957
Or the plumbing.
236
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,526
Or the cat in the plumbing.
237
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:35,560
Excuse me.
238
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:38,897
Bridge mix?
239
00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:41,633
[ALF sneezing]
240
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,638
Aren't you gonna
say gesundheit?
241
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,174
What is the matter with you?
242
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:51,209
I'm allergic to babies.
243
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:54,713
ALF, that is ridiculous.
244
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:55,947
Oh, yeah?
245
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,382
Watch.
246
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:02,287
[sneezing]
247
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,923
See, allergic to babies.
248
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,324
[knock on door]
249
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,493
[whispering]
What is going on in here?
250
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:11,863
ALF, we have a house
full of guests.
251
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:14,933
I'm afraid I've got
some bad news, motherlode.
252
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:17,802
You won't be able
to keep your baby.
253
00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:19,070
What?
254
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,639
I found out
I'm allergic to them.
255
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:24,476
But don't worry,
I'll make it up to you.
256
00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:25,543
[sneezes]
257
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:28,813
I'll get you a goldfish.
258
00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:32,183
You are not giving away
our baby.
259
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,519
Who said anything
about giving it away?
260
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:37,522
I'm sure we can get
a good price for it.
261
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:40,492
I'm sure we can get
a better price for you.
262
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,528
[sneezes]
263
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,864
ALF, it's-it's probably
just the baby powder
264
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:48,032
that's making you sneeze.
265
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:50,001
No. No, it's not.
266
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,669
On Melmac we used baby powder
267
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:54,439
instead of non-dairy creamer
on our tacos.
268
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:56,641
[sneezes]
269
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,211
We will talk about this later.
270
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:03,615
Now, please, get back out
to the garage.
271
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,617
[sniffling]
272
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,152
Oh.
273
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:10,321
Oh, this is all your fau..
274
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,856
...fau..
275
00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:12,957
..fau..
276
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,093
[sneezes]
277
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:20,465
Hey, they really are
more absorbent.
278
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,368
[instrumental music]
279
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,838
(Jake)
'No thanks, Uncle Trevor.'
280
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,540
I'm not really hungry.
281
00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:31,342
I didn't know it was possible
to stuff pork rinds.
282
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:37,115
Thanks.
283
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:41,252
ALF! ALF, what
are you doing in here?
284
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:44,155
I've run away from garage.
285
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,124
What are you talking about?
286
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,392
Well, I can't run
away from home
287
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:50,028
because I don't have
a home anymore.
288
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,196
[whispering]
What happened?
289
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,331
I'm allergic to babies.
290
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,933
Kate's having one
291
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:56,801
she won't let me sell it.
292
00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:59,103
Ergo, I go.
293
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:03,208
I never heard of anybody being
allergic to babies before.
294
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:06,377
Oh, excuse me,
knower of all things!
295
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:07,879
If you haven't heard of it
296
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:09,747
it must be my imagination.
297
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,617
How did you get in here?
298
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:14,686
Agility, cunning..
299
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:17,555
...and waiting for Trevor
to go into the john.
300
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:20,491
You can't stay here.
It's too risky.
301
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,227
Come on, I'll take you
back to the Tanners.
302
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,362
[grunting]
303
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,765
You're heavier
than you look.
304
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,467
I have big bones.
305
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:33,538
So, which side
of the bed do you want?
306
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,773
ALF, you can't live
in my room.
307
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,877
What if Aunt Raquel
and Uncle Trevor see ya?
308
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,144
Good point.
309
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:42,947
Let's get a place
at the beach.
310
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,682
ALF, we can't be roommates.
311
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:48,019
It just wouldn't work out.
312
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,054
We'll get along fine.
313
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,223
I'll be the sloppy one.
314
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,160
[instrumental music]
315
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:58,129
- Oh, it's so cute.
- I know.
316
00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,230
So when are you going
to break down
317
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,531
and have one of your own?
318
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,634
Oh, please.
I can't even grow plants.
319
00:15:02,636 --> 00:15:03,501
[laughs]
320
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:04,702
I'm sorry to be a wet blanket
321
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,037
but I really do
have a plane to catch.
322
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,238
Oh, honey, thank you so much
323
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,573
for coming all this way.
324
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:09,807
I wouldn't have missed it
for the world.
325
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:11,509
- Oh.
- I should get going too.
326
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,511
I left my daughter at mall
three hours ago.
327
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:14,679
If I don't pick her up soon,
I think
328
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,481
I'm gonna have to get
a second job.
329
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:17,749
Say goodbye to Willie for me.
330
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,517
Oh, I will.
331
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,319
A seven-year-old knows
that you're supposed to
332
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:22,954
twist streamers
when you hang them.
333
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:25,290
Well then, next time
you wanna throw a baby shower
334
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,025
get a seven-year-old
to help you.
335
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,093
Don't think I won't.
336
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,329
You still owe me
for that plastic stork.
337
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,967
Dad, why do they
call these cold cuts?
338
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,836
Oh, I don't know.
339
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:41,773
Because they're cold and..
340
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,141
...they're cut, I guess.
341
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:46,177
Cold cuts.
Uh, I don't know.
342
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:49,314
Well, what would you call them
if you heated them up?
343
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,787
I don't know.
344
00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:56,821
I don't know nothing.
345
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:57,922
[knock on door]
346
00:15:57,924 --> 00:15:58,957
(Jake)
'Yo.'
347
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:00,391
Yeah. Come on in.
348
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,529
Uh, hi, Mr. Tanner.
349
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,364
- Hi, squirt.
- Hi, Jake.
350
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,666
Hello, Jake. What's up?
351
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:09,934
Well..
352
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:11,502
Uh..
353
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:13,838
Something wrong?
354
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,840
Not wrong exactly.
355
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:17,775
More like missing.
356
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,611
What, did you lose something?
357
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,780
Look, I can't come
right out and tell ya.
358
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:25,016
I said I wouldn't,
and I got honor.
359
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,784
You name some stuff
that could be missing
360
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,820
and I'll tell you
whether you're hot or cold.
361
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:29,887
- ALF.
- Hot.
362
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:30,922
I win.
363
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:33,958
How do you know he's missing?
364
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,727
I found him.
365
00:16:35,729 --> 00:16:37,328
- Where is he?
- My room.
366
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,364
Top of the stairs,
second door on your right.
367
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,784
Now, the room is starting
to work for me.
368
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:04,889
ALF? ALF, what are you doing?
369
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:07,425
All that I can
with these pieces.
370
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:11,295
Come home with me
this instant!
371
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:13,131
I am home, Willie.
372
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,932
I live here now.
373
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,902
Would you give me a hand
with that chiffonier?
374
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,637
Stop redecorating.
375
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:22,040
What if Trevor
and Raquel hear you?
376
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,508
Relax, wilco.
377
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,942
They're out in their garden
378
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,912
seeing if any of their potatoes
look like celebrities.
379
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,883
Why would you want
to live here?
380
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,451
What do you care?
381
00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:36,220
You've got Kate
and Lynn and Brian.
382
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:38,790
And pretty soon
you'll have that..
383
00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:41,726
...B word.
384
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,294
"B word?"
385
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:45,229
W-what do you mean,
the baby?
386
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,497
[sneezes]
387
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,169
See, that's why I can't
live with you anymore.
388
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,905
I'm allergic to babies.
389
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:57,742
[scoffs]
What do you, what do you mean
you're allergic to babies?
390
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,610
Somebody brought one
to Kate's shower
391
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,546
and put it in the nursery.
392
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,247
Soon as I went near the kid
393
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,950
I nearly sneezed up a lung.
394
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,518
[sneezes]
395
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,153
Well, you're sneezing now.
396
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:10,988
There's no baby here.
397
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:13,825
Well, all I have to do
is think about babies
398
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:16,160
and I sneeze.
399
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:17,595
Well, there you are, ALF.
400
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,730
You're not allergic to babies.
401
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:22,934
The whole thing
is psychosomatic.
402
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:24,569
Psychosomatic?
403
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:27,872
What's that, a food processor
at the Bates Motel?
404
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:34,412
It means you may think that this
baby is gonna take your place.
405
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:37,181
Don't try to analyze me
406
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:39,717
I'm too complex.
407
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:42,253
Well, I'm worried
about you, ALF.
408
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:44,522
Yeah, well, don't bother.
409
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:47,125
I'm no longer
a concern of yours.
410
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:49,694
I'm history. Vapor.
411
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:52,730
Yesterday's old,
stinky, smelly garbage
412
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,966
with maggots all over it.
413
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,603
You know, when I married Kate
414
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:01,539
I loved her more than
anything in the world.
415
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:03,508
And then we had
Lynn and Brian
416
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,210
and I found out
I love them just as much
417
00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:09,413
but that didn't mean
that I loved Kate any the less.
418
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:10,748
And then..
419
00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:15,386
Well, maybe, uh..
420
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:18,389
...it's not exactly
the same, but..
421
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,858
...you know, we love you, pal.
422
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,760
We all do.
423
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:25,196
On whose behalf
are you speaking?
424
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:27,265
Well, my own,
of course, and..
425
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,834
...Lynn's and Brian's.
426
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,036
Yeah? And?
427
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:36,874
And I'm sure Kate,
in her own special way..
428
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:40,478
In her own particular way..
429
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,881
Her own unique way..
She loves you.
430
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:46,918
You mean that?
431
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,688
No one, believe me..
432
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:53,624
...no one could ever
take your place.
433
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,660
But..
434
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:57,695
...if you really think
435
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:02,266
that you'd like
to live over here..
436
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:06,103
Well, well, this room
and I really aren't in sync
437
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:08,472
and there's no sink
in this room.
438
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,175
But..
439
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:12,510
But what?
440
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:15,846
But if I'm to stay
at your house
441
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:18,449
I wanna be important
to you guys.
442
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:20,851
I wanna be a part of things.
443
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,186
I want..
444
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:23,821
...to name your baby.
445
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,158
[chuckles]
446
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,060
Forget it.
447
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:31,128
(Raquel)
'Jake, are you in there?'
448
00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:32,430
[whispering]
ALF, hide.
449
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:34,232
No kidding, Willie.
450
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:42,940
Hello, Willie.
451
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:47,645
Oh, hello, Raquel.
452
00:20:50,183 --> 00:20:51,916
What are you doing here?
453
00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:56,721
Oh, I was looking for our cat.
454
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,992
How did he get in here?
455
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:05,229
He came in through
the bathroom window.
456
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:09,867
Well, when you're through
in here, would you please
457
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:12,270
put the furniture back
the way you found it?
458
00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:17,875
Have a nice day.
459
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:22,847
Let's go home
and burp the baby.
460
00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:26,550
No, the baby's
not even born yet.
461
00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:28,986
Then let's just
go home and burp.
462
00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:31,355
[laughs]
463
00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:32,890
[instrumental music]
464
00:21:35,228 --> 00:21:36,260
[instrumental music]
465
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,030
"'We will have
a new baby soon
466
00:21:39,032 --> 00:21:42,566
"who will need that little bed,'
said papa bear.
467
00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,672
"'A new baby?'
Asked small bear.
468
00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:49,006
"He hadn't noticed
that mama bear
469
00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:51,309
"had grown very round lately.
470
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:52,576
"Although he had noticed
471
00:21:52,578 --> 00:21:55,613
it was harder and harder
to sit on her lap."
472
00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:57,882
Can I sit on your lap?
473
00:21:57,884 --> 00:22:00,384
I'd rather you didn't.
474
00:22:00,386 --> 00:22:01,619
Fine.
475
00:22:02,722 --> 00:22:04,955
- Mom, dad's looking for you.
- Oh.
476
00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:07,792
He can't find
his dental floss.
477
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:09,860
Tell him to look
in the toilet tank.
478
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,030
Don't ask.
479
00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:18,169
ALF..
480
00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:21,105
...isn't this book
a little young for you?
481
00:22:21,107 --> 00:22:22,673
I know that.
482
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:24,342
You know that.
483
00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:27,011
Apparently no one's told Kate.
484
00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:28,212
Want me to?
485
00:22:28,214 --> 00:22:31,515
Nah. Her maternal instinct's
in overdrive.
486
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:36,153
She wants to think of me
as her 232-year-old toddler
487
00:22:36,155 --> 00:22:37,655
I can handle it.
488
00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:39,557
That's very nice of you, ALF.
489
00:22:39,559 --> 00:22:41,459
I know.
490
00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:42,693
Here.
491
00:22:44,731 --> 00:22:47,698
I can't wait to see
how this turns out.
492
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:50,368
[instrumental music]
493
00:22:52,672 --> 00:22:55,740
[theme music]
494
00:23:21,267 --> 00:23:22,366
[sneezes]
37296
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